Chapter 31

Santana's POV

After the miscarriage, I didn't want to try to get pregnant again. Well, more like I was far more scared than I had been to try the first time. I didn't want another heartache. I didn't want to suffer through another miscarriage or trying and trying without getting pregnant again.

Brittany understood; we were going to take a break until the new year, spending time with our daughter, enjoying our holidays, and hopefully going on a short trip with just the two of us before we'd try again.

The miscarriage had happened only a few weeks after Brittany's birthday, so we still had months until we would try again. This time, I hoped nothing would go wrong. We really wanted to expand our family, but I knew that if it didn't work out, we were still extremely happy with our one beautiful daughter, or potentially adoption if nothing else worked.

"Would you like to try the pink dress or the green?" I heard Brittany ask our daughter through the walls between her bedroom and ours.

"Pink!" she exclaimed in reply.

I smiled to myself, although I hardly had the mental strength to get out of bed, I wanted to be with my daughter today, so I forced myself to. It had only been a few days since Brittany finally got me out of bed for the first time since the miscarriage, and it was still really hard, but it was getting better.

"Mami!"

Everything was worth it to have our beautiful daughter run up to me the moment I stepped into her bedroom.

"She chose the pink dress," Brittany said, holding up a pink and white sundress with a flower on the top.

"I think it's perfect." I smiled as Brittany helped get our daughter out of her pink pyjamas and into her pink dress.

Once she was dressed, we made our way into the kitchen where Brittany (who had been awake and gotten ready long before I woke up) started to make us breakfast.

"Shouldn't you be getting dressed?" she asked me. "You don't really want to go to a party in your pyjamas."

I giggled before returning to our bedroom to get dressed.

That day was the first birthday party of Rachel and Finn's son, which they had come to Lima for. I had been surprised when we received the invitation, considering we'd only seen them a handful of times since their son was born, but Brittany wouldn't let us skip it.

After getting dressed, I joined my girls for breakfast before we grabbed our previously packed bags and headed off to Lima.

Our little girl had grown to love the drives to Lima. For those two hours, she would babble to herself and her stuffed animals and flip through her board books, completely content. We definitely got lucky in that department.

Once we got to Lima, it was almost lunch time. The Hudson's party started at 1:00, so we had some time to spare and went to Brittany's parent's for lunch.

"How's our beautiful granddaughter?" Brittany's mom asked, running to the front of the house to hug her.

"It's nice to know we exist, too," Brittany joked into my ear, causing me to laugh a little too hard.

After eating lunch, we made our way to the park where little Oliver Hudson's birthday party would be, the same park where Brittany and I had spent so much time together and where we'd gotten married just more than two years earlier.

"It's the Lopez-Pierces!" I heard Finn say once we got to the party. He walked up to us first. "How's Everly?"

"Good," she said, quickly hiding her face in my chest, since she'd been in my arms.

"Well, that's good. Oliver is excited you're here. How are you two?" he asked.

"We're doing alright," Brittany answered for us.

"Great! Now, we have a food table, some kids on the play structure, and some adult talk by the benches, so choose wisely," he joked.

"Where would you like to go, sweetheart?" I asked our daughter. "Do you want to go on the slides or come sit with us?"

"Slide with me," she replied.

"Okay, then, I guess we're missing the adult talk, at least for a little while."

The three of us made our way to the play structure where Finn and Rachel's four-year-old daughter as well as some other children were playing. With Grace being just over a year older than our daughter, they got along well, and soon Brittany and I were leaving her to go join in on some adult talk.

Not long after we'd sat down, Rachel came over to us, clearly prepared to give one of her long monologues.

"Hi, I'm so glad you are here."

"We're happy to be here," Brittany replied.

"Is there anything new up with you?" Rachel asked. "Are you planning on giving Everly a little sibling any time soon?" It was the worst possible thing she could have said.

Brittany looked at me, clearly not completely sure what to say.

"In the future," I said, giving the vaguest answer I could.

"Okay." She looked me over a little too intensely for my liking before saying, "Would you like to come catch up, Santana?"

I looked at Brittany, trying to show her how much I didn't want to be alone with Rachel, but she just said, "It's okay; I see Mercedes just got here, so I'll go talk to her."

I groaned internally, following Rachel a little further past the play structure.

"What do you want, Berry?" I asked.

"I see you still have that mouth on you," she said, not answering my question. "I just wanted to talk to you."

"You couldn't have done it with Brittany there?"

"You had a look in your eyes when I asked you if you were planning on having more kids. Clearly, there is more to the story."

"What do you care?"

"I care about my friends," Rachel replied.

"We're not planning on trying until the new year."

"Have you tried at all yet?" Clearly, she was not giving up on getting the truth out of me.

"Fine!" I said. "You want to know the truth? The truth is that I had a... a miscarriage. Now, can we please just get back to-"

"Santana!" Rachel exclaimed. "I know you're uncomfortable when it comes to being vulnerable, but I just wanted to know why you looked so sad."

"Well, now you know." I turned around and started making my way over to Brittany and Mercedes.

"I had one too."

I turned around at the sound of Rachel's voice.

"What?" I asked.

"I had a miscarriage, too. Before Grace was born. It was hard, and I know that mine was five years ago, but if you ever want to talk about it with someone who has been through it, I'm here."

"Thank you," I said. "It's nice to know I'm not alone."

"Yeah, it is." Rachel gave me a bittersweet smile before making her own way back to the party where her son was started to cry out for her.

I made my way over to where Brittany was talking with Mercedes.

"Hey," Brittany said, stepping us a little out of the way from Mercedes. "What did Rachel want?"

"I'll tell you later," I replied. "Hi, Mercedes!"

"Hey, Santana! Looking good. How's your work?"

"It's fine," I replied, but I felt a lot better at the party than I had just a few moments before.

Later on, I saw that Quinn and her daughter were at the party, clearly having just arrived, since her daughter was still holding her hand.

"What's Quinn doing here?" I asked Rachel.

"Oh, Did you hear? She's moving back to Lima," Rachel replied.

"Really? That's shocking, considering her family and everything," I said.

"Yeah, she found a job, still in social work. She didn't really have any reason to stay where she was, since her and her husband split, so she figured it would be better to be closer to people she knows. I invited most of the glee club, though," she continued. "Unfortunately Mike and Tina couldn't make it, since Tina's on bed rest."

I left Rachel to go talk to Quinn, remembering her daughter was only a few months younger than ours.

"Hey Santana," Quinn greeted.

"Hey. How've you been?" I asked.

"Good. I'm sure Rachel told you I've moved back to Lima."

"Yup. She can't keep much to herself for long," I replied.

"Yeah, well it was so lonely back in Pennsylvania, and here, my mom will gladly watch Hazel while I'm at work, so it saves me a lot of money."

"That's a great deal. We'll have to invite you and Hazel over to our place sometime soon," I offered. "Now that you live closer, there's no excuses for how little we see each other."

"We'll be waiting for an invitation," Quinn replied smiling.

By the time we left, Everly was starting to get moody.

"I don… I don't wanna g-go!" she cried out when we told her it was time to leave.

"I know, Sweetie," I said. "Would you rather go now or in five minutes?"

She shrugged, unable to stop her tears.

"Okay, then we're going to go home now."

I picked her up and brought her to where Brittany was packing our things back into the car.

Once Everly was in her car seat with a few books, her stuffed dolphin, and a blanket, she thankfully started to calm down. We still had a two hour drive ahead of us, unable to stay the night since I was returning to work the next day. I knew it would be hard to see so many happy pregnant women, but I was prepared. I couldn't stay home from work forever.

Everly was asleep by the time we got home, so Brittany carefully changed her into her pyjamas before we put her into her bed.

"I have a job interview tomorrow," Brittany said once we were in our bedroom.

"You do?" I asked.

"Yeah, I found out right after, you know, so I didn't know when the right time would be to tell you."

"That's good," I said.

"Are you sure? Because I don't need to say yes. I just know that we talked about it, since all this baby stuff isn't cheap."

"Yes, it is good. If you get the job, I will be very happy for you. What exactly is the job?" I asked.

"Well, it's a job teaching dance. It would only be two hours twice a week, so not a lot of hours. The studio nearby recently added in more classes, and they need someone to teach the toddler classes. There's two a week, and… if you're okay with it, I could bring Everly along to one a week."

"I'm sure she'd love to learn to dance."

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I don't know if I'm going to get the job obviously, but I really hope I will. It's hard to find jobs that aren't a lot of hours," Brittany said.

"Well, good luck with your interview tomorrow. Will you be bringing Evie to the daycare?"

"Yeah, I will."

"Okay."

"I got the job!" Brittany called me during my lunch hour to say.

"That's great! I knew you would get it," I replied.

"Yeah, I start the week after your birthday on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons. And, if you still think it's a good idea, Everly can come to my Tuesday classes."

"Well, I think we should ask her first, but I'm completely behind it. What about Thursdays?"

"I figured she could just go to the daycare unless you're not working. It's only for two hours."

"Yeah, I agree. Well, I'll see you at home. I love you."

"Love you too."

I was feeling a little better by the time the end of August came around. I was still sad from time to time. But after talking with Rachel, I often felt better, despite how much she could annoy me. Talking with someone who had been through the same thing as I had helped put things into perspective.

"Happy birthday, Mami!" was the sound I woke up to on the morning of my birthday, Brittany helping our daughter into our bed to hug me.

"Thank you, sweetheart!" I looked up to see Brittany holding two presents, smiling widely. "Are those both for me?"

"Yes," Everly replied. "One from me and one from Mama."

"Which one should I open first."

"One from me!" she exclaimed, practically jumping off the bed in excitement.

"Okay." I sat up better in bed as Brittany handed me a present in a gift bag with way too much tissue paper stuffed into it messily.

"I wrapped it myself!" our daughter said, proud of her colorful wrapping job.

"It's very good," I assured her, taking the present.

Everly was struggling to keep her mouth closed as I started taking the tissue paper out of the gift bag.

"Hmm, I wonder what it is..." I teased.

"Open it!" Our daughter was having a hard time, so I sped up the process, finding a key chain and a drawing.

"See! I drew you a… you a picture of me and you and Mama. And this has my finger p-print!" she explained.

"Well, I love them. Thank you, Evie."

"You're welcome!"

Next, I opened Brittany's gift, which wasn't a physical gift, just a piece of paper stating that we'd be going on a short trip with just the two of us to a hotel, something we'd already planned to do a while ago.

"I thought we agreed to pay for this trip together," I whispered when Everly was too distracted by Max to hear.

"I know, but I also know that things haven't been easy for you lately, and, now that I have a job, this trip is my treat," she replied.

"Thank you."

"Now, how about we get started with our birthday plans?"