Once Lost But Now Found

Chapter 8 – The Second Time Around?

As they got thru week four, it had become somewhat of a routine that the male cadets in the class would stop by their room to check them out and make sure that everything was going well. Espo had become a regular visitor as had Ryan. Brent Edwards would also stop by and try to catch up with what was happening with the female cadets, and Kate in particular. It was apparent that Edwards was interested in her. Still the two of them were cautious about how they acted toward one another, as the issue of fraternization was always there. None of them wanted to be drummed out of the Academy for this serious infraction.

They had all heard the stories of male and female cadets caught sleeping together at the academy. It had become rare since establishing the Fraternization Regulation that was constantly being taught to the young cadets. But it could happen and those cadets violating the regulation not only were they expelled immediately but had no chance of coming back and becoming NYPD officers. Many cadets who got a "Did Not Graduate" status for failing a test, were rolled back to the next graduating class, where they had to completed successfully all tests, academic and PT, that they previously failed. The record for highest roll backs was three. However, for those cadets who were expelled from the academy for fraternization were not allowed a roll back. It was a No Tolerance regulation.

A Fraternization expulsion was a blacklisting that ended their attempts to become NYPD. Still, there were always a way to bypass this action. Many of these with a fraternization expulsion, would go to an out of state Police Academy to be Police Officers in a out of state city. Some came back transferring from that out of state Police Department. The only requirement for an out of state transfer to the NYPD was to complete a Police Academy successfully and it could be an out of state Police Academy. This was rare but had happened.

Still those officers had managed to do this also had a rough time at promotions with the impact of a fraternization expulsion. Those that did make it in this manner avoided any fraternization or appearance thereof, it was a tough lesson to learn. It meant those officer were always under the microscope of Internal Affairs. The out of state transfer regulation for the NYPD had not been changed or clarified as to acceptance standards. It was a loop hole that some active NYPD officers had used, but it was still a very few that had done it.

Still, Kate's roommates would chide that her "Ken Doll", a nickname that had stuck for Edwards, was trying to strike up that long lost connection to her. Kate had confided to her roommates that she broke up with Edwards because he had cheated on her with her bff Maddy Queller. That had caused a rift between them. The rift had continued until they had reconciled sometime later. Maddy had also broke it off with Edwards when he had cheated on her. It seems that Edwards was trying to score with all the hot females in their graduating High School class and had gained the reputation of being a player.

"Kate, maybe the guy has changed, it was years ago when that happened", says Anne Hastings.

"Yeah Kate, Ken Doll is making a real effort to get back in your good graces!", says Lanie.

"More like getting back into my pants!", replies Kate to her roommates, "he still does not have that trust for my heart he used to have, ever since our breakup. Still he was my very first and that gives us a history."

"Does he know about your daughter and that you are raising her with the baby daddy", asks Karpowski.

"Please, what I told you all about my daughter and Rick, is to remain in this circle of ours", is her reply to the group.

"Kate, you said Rick encourages you to see other men so you can decide if he is the one you want to be with in a committed relationship. He has prepared to see you with others and to the chance that both of you might meet someone else, choosing that person as a life partner", Roz Karpowski reminds her, "So do that. Rick encourages it. Besides, you already know Edwards intimately and how he is in bed. You might want to try for a second time around and see where that goes."

"Rick's concession for me to see others does not mean that I want to open that door. I am content for now to see how it goes with Rick. Besides serious dating with two men at same time gets complicated and clouds the issue with both those persons."

"Just saying girl! Better Ken doll finds out from you, then thru the grapevine, especially if it does get serious with him. You need to see him as he is now, as it seems like he has changed and is wanting to restart that relationship you two once had."

"I heard you, but Rick has been there for me, I could not have asked for more. He genuinely cares for me and our daughter."

"Rick doesn't want you to choose him out of a feeling of obligation for what he has done for you and his child, but for wanting him as the person he is. That means he wants you for all of it, the good and not so good, in a serious romantic relationship. For better or worse as they say."

"I am not with Rick out of a sense of gratitude! That may be part of it, but I did feel something for him the night we were together, and I need to resolve those feelings. I need to see where they go."

"How do you truly know if you don't see other men. How will you judge that Rick is the one?

"Look, Kate, you have two hot men trying for your affections, let them compete and show you which one deserves you more", says Lanie.

Kate has no come back for them because what her room mates were telling her was precisely how she had been thinking subconsciously about this 'thing' she had with Rick. But after breaking up with Brent Edwards, after he had cheated on her so many years ago, she was doubtful about him in her own mind. It would take a lot from him to regain her trust to have that special place in her heart, but maybe Brent could test Rick's intentions for her.

Despite Rick sharing that he felt something during their one night of intimacy, Rick had tried to avoid showing displays of emotions for her. The sex had been good that night, but he did not want to unduly arouse those feelings. So, they had not slept together since that one night. Kate realized again that he was trying not to sway her. It was confusing to her, and she wonder about it. So, if she did date another man, maybe Rick would show something, a tell, even jealousy. It might indicate those emotions Rick kept from her so as not to sway her one way or another about them.

Kate was also doubting Rick's true interest in her as she continued in the back of her mind to feel that Rick was with her out of a sense of responsibility for getting her pregnant. She wanted him to be with her because he loved her and wanted to share a life with her despite their having a daughter out of wedlock. It seems the two of them were having the same doubts. It was the proverbial cart before the horse for them. Having a child before the "courtship" had even happened. She was conflicted as their relationship was complicated. Maybe she should also give Brent another chance to be with her, a plan B if being with Rick was not in her future.

Kate had all these issues turning in her mind, as the class got into the fifth week. Then it happened, the class was granted senior status and had tied the record for fastest to that status. They were to have that coming weekend off. She would be seeing her daughter Alexis and Rick. She was getting anxious now about the upcoming weekend and in seeing them again after nearly two months of separation with no contact, not even a phone call home.

That night after their designation as a senior class, Brent came to their room to see her.

"Kate, are you doing anything this weekend, how about we get together outside of class?", declared Brent to her.

"I have someone I'm seeing this weekend."

"Really, is it serious?"

That is when Kate tells Brent about her child and about Rick. It was the right moment for the revelation. As anxious as Kate had been about it, the talk went well and not as awkward as Kate had expected.

"The invite still stands Kate, besides from what you tell me, this Castle guy wants you to see other men. To test the relationship waters between the two of you, so to speak. That being the case, give me a call if you have some time over the weekend and want some other company. This is my cell number", Brent replies handing her a card with his cell phone number on it.

Now Kate needs to decide how she will tell Rick about Brent. She knew she had to as they had decided to be honest with each other on such matters. Kate just had to find the right time and place to do the reveal. Despite all of Rick's assurances that she was free to see other men, Kate was nervous about telling Rick of Brent's invitation to see him over the weekend. She feared that Rick might see it as a decline of her feelings for him. Rick after all was not seeing other women. Or maybe he had not met the right woman yet. Still dating other men might send mixed signals to Rick. She had wanted to avoid that and then realized that Rick might be avoiding a similar situation with her.

It was all these confusing thoughts that let Kate realize that Rick was now becoming more than just a friend, more than just being her baby's father. He was fast becoming something beyond all that to her and she wanted to see where it would lead. But was Rick Castle the one, her one? Revealing the situation with Brent just may be a set back to their moving forward on this matter. Still again, it might also cause Rick to show his hand and give her a definite reaction on how he felt about her being with other men. Kate was so conflicted but still wanted that chance with Rick. She decided that she would tell Rick about Brent that weekend, her first weekend back. She wanted to do that. Kate just needed to find the best moment to tell Ric.