Inspired by true events... sort of. This one is for Baldore who asked for Bobo. Dimmension Traveler: I'm still working on that story with all the kids.
Do not own the show.
"What do you mean you can't do it? I have 20 little kids outside waiting for you!" Rex was glaring angrily at the inebriated man in his kitchen.
"I'm sorry. I'm going through a tough time right now. My girlfriend left…. " The sad man sobbed.
" Look, "Rex pinched the bridge of his nose, " I don't really care. All I know is that I paid for Pinky Panda to show up to my son's birthday party and by golly Pinky Panda better show up."
Circe popped her head into the kitchen. "Hey, the natives are getting restless. Where's the Panda?"
"Working on it." Rex said through clenched teeth.
"Why don't you do it?" The man slightly hiccupped.
"What!" Rex looked at him like he grew another head.
"That's a great idea." Circe said as she nervously looked behind her as shrieks emanated from the yard.
"Wait, what?" Rex spun around and looked at her in shock.
"Look Rex, the…uh… gentleman, obviously is in no condition to go out with a bunch of little kids. You don't want to disappoint your son do you?" Circe said reasonably.
Rex looked at Circe then at the man.
0o0
"Dad, why did we have to come? It's a little kid's party." Kenji complained to his father.
"It's your cousin's birthday. Your mother and sisters are helping out and you're here because I have to be here." Six replied.
"Come on you two. It's not so bad. "Beverly bounced Angel in her arms. Angel giggled and gurgled happily.
Six and Kenji both shot Beverly the same look. Beverly resisted the urge to laugh. They looked so much alike.
Caesar was using some machine to make balloon animals for the kids while explaining the complex physics behind his invention. The children looked at him with glazed eyes before grabbing the balloon animal and edging away. Rebecca and her daughters were trying to keep order. It looked like they were failing as small children darted from one side of the yard to another knocking over chairs, lawn ornaments, squirrels, and other small mammals. But at least no one was bleeding. Rafael was on Uncle Bobo's shoulders leading the pack in their chaos. He had a balloon sword which he was swinging wildly at the other children who were running from them in mock fear. Violeta sat quietly in her corner watching the bedlam before her.
"Okay kids! Are you ready to meet Pinky Panda?" Circe came out and asked the excited kids in her backyard.
"Yes!" All the little kids screamed running to the seats set up in front of the porch. Rafael slipped from Bobo's shoulders and ran to his mother. Bobo made his way to the other adults.
"Hello, green bean." The simian greeted Six.
"Monkey." Six acknowledged him.
"Well then let's give a big Pinky Welcome to Pinky Panda!" Circe felt really stupid but it was part of the act.
The back door flew open as smoke from a smoke machine drifted out to create a touch of drama. A shadow of a giant pink panda came lumbering out. As it reached the door it was stopped in its tracks by the top of the door frame. The panda stopped, took a step back, and tried again but it again hit the top of the door. It tried the third time but was still unable to clear the top. In frustration the panda ran at the door but he was knocked down flat. The kids laughed hysterically. Circe ran over and helped the panda up. She put her hand on its head and shoved it down so that it was able to get through the door.
"Hey kids! Who loves you?" The panda boomed.
"You do!" The little kids screamed back.
Kenji blinked and looked over at his father who seemed to be having a hard time keeping his stoic façade. "Dad, is that Uncle Rex?"
"I believe it is, son." Six managed to not laugh but he couldn't help smirking.
Bobo was laughing so hard he fell over.
Kenji looked back at the panda who now looked like it was trying to dance or scratch an itch. Kenji couldn't be sure.
"Come on kids, let's sing the Pinky Panda Song." The Panda said.
The kids screamed the song at the top of their lungs, the words and tune unintelligible, which was a good thing considering Rex didn't know the words.
Kenji covered his ears. He looked over at his sisters who were doing likewise. Bobo was gasping for air.
When the caterwauling was done, Rex looked at the Rafael. "Well, if it isn't the birthday boy! How old are you today?"
Rafael was beaming. "I'm seven years old!"
"Wow, such a big boy. What would you like Pinky Panda to do on your birthday?"
"Jump into the Vat of Giggles." Rafael demanded.
"Say what?" The Panda did not try to hide its confusion.
Circe pulled its giant head down and whispered in his ear.
The Panda's head snapped up, "Oh no! No way in…." He glanced nervously at the little kids, "in heck am I ever going to do that!" He heard a sniffle and turned to see Rafael with tears in his eyes. His lower lip pulled into a pout.
"I mean… no way I would ever do that without my lucky Panda Hat."
Rafael immediately brightened.
Six, suddenly, went into a coughing fit. Rex shot him a dirty look from under the costume.
Bobo started chanting, "Vat of Giggles! Vat of Giggles!" The other kids joined in.
"So where's the Vat of Giggles?" The Panda sighed.
Jade and Jasmine pulled out the kiddie pool. It was filled with some sort of green gelatinous goo.
"You have to dive from there." Rafael pointed to a stool.
The Panda lumbered over to the stool. But it realized it had no knees. It tried putting one foot up but was unable to get the other foot up.
"Umm, dad should I… uh… help the bear?" Kenji looked at his dad. Six didn't say anything but nodded.
Bobo went into another laughing fit.
Kenji went over. "Not trying to goose you." He told his uncle as he grabbed the bear's backside and hauled him up the stool.
He hauled a little harder than he thought and the panda overshot the stool. It fell face first on the other side. The kids roared with laughter.
"I'm glad I'm wearing a diaper." Bobo wheezed.
"Eww," Beverly mumbled moving away from the chimp.
"Oops, sorry. " Kenji apologized. The Panda gave a weak wave from the floor. Kenji helped it up and this time gently hauled him onto the stool.
"Are you ready kids?" The Panda asked his audience.
"Yeah!" They yelled.
"Wait!" Rafael ran up. "You forgot your hat."
"Oh, thank you." The panda picked up the black stove top hat and placed it on its head.
"Here I go." It jumped into the pool. The goo made a sound that decidedly sounded like a certain body function. The kids laughed uproariously.
"Hmph, if they wanted to hear that I could have done that for free." Bobo said as he proceeded to show Beverly and Angel what he could do with his armpits.
Angel clapped and giggled. Beverly made a face and moved further away.
The giant panda climbed out of the pool. He was swarmed by the little kids who started pulling at him and talking to him.
"Pinky Panda, where do you live?"
"Pinky Panda, why are you pink?"
"Pinky Panda, can you be my dad?"
"My mom says I have diarrhea of the mouth. What does that mean?"
Suddenly, a little kid head butted him in his sensitive area. The panda grunted and fell down in the best fetal position it could manage without knees.
All the males managed to look pained except Bobo who started laughing all over again.
"It's funny because it's not me." He guffawed.
Circe came over and shooed the kids away.
"Okay, kids Pinky Panda has to go now. He's very busy." Circe announced.
"Awww." All the kids groaned in unison.
"Say good-bye." Circe led the still bent over Panda to the kitchen.
"Good-bye!" The kids waved.
"Time for the cake." Rebecca announced.
"CAKE!" The kids swarmed over to her.
0o0
A few hours later the party was over. The cake was eaten, the kids were picked up, and the yard was decimated. Inside the adults and Bobo sat around the table drinking bottles of soda. Rex had an ice pack in his lap. Angel was napping in his car seat next to Beverly. The kids were in the living room playing video games.
"That was fun chief." Bobo grinned at him.
"Shut up." Rex grumbled.
"Come on, it was for Rafael. Did you see how happy he was?" Circe gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
"You took one for the team." Caesar added.
"Yeah, took one right in the…" Bobo began.
"Monkey!" Six warned.
"Killjoy." Bobo muttered.
Rex sighed. "I'm glad Rafael had a good time. But we're never doing that again."
"Here, here," everyone raised their bottles and clinked.
"Here, here," echoed a voice from the corner. Everyone turned to glare at the man in his boxers next to the Pinky Panda costume. "What? My ride's not here yet."
0o0
Jasmine, Jade, and Kenji were playing video games on the couch. Violeta looked at her brother sitting on the floor surrounded by his new toys.
"You know that was dad, right?" She said to Rafael.
"Yeah, I know." Rafael said playing with his new toys.
"Then why did you make him jump into the goo, hermano?" She frowned.
"I figured he owed me for making me watch that scary movie." He said matter-a-factly.
"I see."
"Yeah."
They were silent as they watched the siblings play the video game.
"You're evil." She finally said.
"I know." He replied. After a bit he added, "Don't tell mom."
"I won't." She assured him. They settled into a comfortable silence broken only by the sounds the video game.
Moral of the story: Stay in school, kids. Stay in school.
Second Moral: Don't cross Rafael.