one more chapter before i go on a bit of a road trip/vacation/see family! i probably won't get a chance to properly write until next week :/ my bday is next week too :) we're all getting gifts then

Finally alone after what felt like the longest school day ever, I silently closed the door to my room. Robotically, I released the doorknob and turned the lock. My head lightly tapped on the back of the door as a long, overdue sigh escaped my lips. I squeezed my eyes shut. Like a deflating balloon, my shoulders slowly dropped.

It was impressive how I managed to hold everything in without anyone catching on. I wasn't sure how I did it, though. Every instruction in Physical Combat, every note in Vision Studies, and every other scrap of information given to me today was clouded by disbelief. Ache. Sorrow. Even regret.

Dinner had been the hardest. Faking a smile. Forcing a laugh. I almost wished I didn't have so much fun with my friends so that I wouldn't have to replicate that energy today. No one had asked if anything was wrong, but I noticed side glances from Amber. Narrowed eyes from Childe. An extra helping of sweets from Thoma. Was that just them being there for me in general, or was I less convincing than I thought?

I shook my head, pulling away from the door. It didn't matter. I was alone now, and I could finally release the act. I opened my eyes.

My reflection stared back at me. The mirror on my wall showed me someone tired. Someone disconnected. I thought the flat line of her lips should be more downturned—less numb and more reactive. No, that didn't look right either.

I replicated the smile I'd fixed onto my face all day. The smile didn't quite reach the eyes in the reflection, and it wasn't long before her pseudo happiness began to twitch. My muscles relaxed. I gave up.

The weight on my shoulders couldn't possibly be all because of him. That's ridiculous. My schoolbag probably made up for at least two-thirds of that load. I leaned to the side, letting it slide down my arms and thump on the floor next to my desk. The weight remained.

Out of habit, I switched on my lamp. This would normally be the time when I got down to business and cleared away my assignments for the next few days. Getting ahead was important to me now that I spent so much time with people in an advanced year. I wanted to be their equal in all aspects.

Somehow, my legs took me to the edge of my bed instead. I was falling into it before I could stop myself, but I let gravity take the win. Looking for comfort, my arm snaked out and snatched up a pillow. I curled up my legs and held it to my chest. Another sigh.

Kaeya had rejected me.

Now what?

There was nothing I could say to convince him otherwise—not at that moment. If Ganyu hadn't shown up, I would have stuck around even past the bell. I would have been tardy to Physical Combat if I had to—risked Xiao's punishment for a chance to see through to Kaeya.

As much as I disagreed with him, I understood why. It made sense why Kaeya would push me away. He believed he would hurt me somehow. His childhood experience affected him even to this extent, and I hated it.

Kaeya was being so, so stupid.

I didn't realize I had been squeezing my pillow in a death grip until my arms began to tremble from the pressure. Kaeya used to hug my pillows all the time. I tossed it to the edge of my bed. I didn't need it.

But I needed him.

I could see how he—how anyone would think that I should be fine. Having three supports should be enough, but it wasn't. I may not have been blessed with a Vision, but this school has given me so much more to be thankful for. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. Was I being greedy? Was wanting Kaeya as well too much?

I squeezed my eyes once to banish the thought. Kaeya wanted me, too. Even Kazuha picked up on it. He'd said that I lit up Kaeya's eye—his life. As far as I knew, Kazuha's perceptions have never been wrong. A second opinion wasn't even necessary, not this time. I knew in my heart that Kaeya was holding himself back and that it was hurting the both of us. Who was hurting more? I didn't know, but I did know that this was unnecessary.

If only Kaeya could see what I saw. If only he could understand that his past didn't define his worth now. Diluc's forgiveness weighed a lot more on Kaeya's mind than I thought. Before, I didn't want to intervene in their relationship, even though I hoped that more frequent interactions may have led to some kind of reconciliation. I knew Diluc was stubborn, and now I knew his brother was no different. I couldn't let this go on.

Heat stung my eyes, and I welcomed the tears that welled in them. I would allow myself to wallow for one night. Tomorrow was a new day. I would see Kaeya eventually—soon, even. If we were to meet as a group to talk about my new information, he couldn't hide from me. The worst-case scenario would be that he didn't look at me at all, didn't address me at all, never smirked or grinned, never flirted, never joked…

I sniffled. A tear spilled over. A few more brimmed and rolled down the sides of my cheeks.

Just one night. A dull pain flared in my chest—in my heart. Pity party for one.

Vaguely, I remembered Kaeya offering to be a shoulder to cry on, and an ugly snort erupted from me. So much for that. A sob broke out next, and I wiped at my blurry eyes.

My hands didn't do much to dry anything, so I reached over to my nightstand for a handkerchief. Except, I halted and hovered over the two neatly-folded handkerchiefs that I'd left in the open. They were Kaeya's. I recoiled my fingers. Another half-sob, half-snort burst out as I sat up in my bed.

If I really wanted to clean myself up and clear away at least some of this negative energy, I should take a shower. Forget about my assignments. I needed to shut down and let myself reset. Once I was asleep, I could forget about my pain in the real world. At least in my dreams, an escape from this heartache was possible.

The streets of Liyue Harbor were just as lively as I remembered. Squawking seagulls could barely be heard over the loud chatter of pedestrians and bartering shopkeepers. A light breeze carried the scent of crisp ocean air mixed with fish and spices.

I'd been here quite a few times before with Madame Ping, but only on occasion by myself. Why was I here now? I walked alone, admiring the goods at Mingxing Jewelry and dodging the children playing pirates and hide and seek. Did I come here to buy something?

I patted my sides, but there was nothing in my pockets. No bag. No Mora. I was wearing my usual outfit outside of school, so maybe I was here to enjoy a day off. The weather was nice. Faint, welcoming music filled the air.

Where was it coming from?

I passed by the teahouses, storytellers, and even a small opera stage, but the source of the background music was nowhere to be found. Everywhere I went, it lingered. This music was an anomaly, but a pleasant one.

A man selling various grilled fish tried to wave me over, but I politely shook my head and carried on. The fish smelled nice, but I wasn't very hungry. I was out for a stroll. For how long? Maybe I could find some entertainment somewhere.

My leisure took me away from the main hub and up a large set of stairs that led me to Yujing Terrace. Was I here to see Madame Ping? This was her most frequented spot in Liyue Harbor. At last, I reached the top and rounded the corner. She wasn't here.

I frowned.

No one was here.

That was odd. Sure, this area was less populated than the lower levels, but there should at least be some guards. Where was the Millelith?

I scanned the area and my frown deepened. Maybe there was an event happening somewhere? Looking for answers, I descended the steps and my alarm continued to heighten when I found the whole place deserted. The people I had passed before vanished. The echoes of laughing children silenced. The barking of dogs begging for meal scraps was absent.

Liyue Harber was completely devoid of life.

"What's going on?" I asked the thin air.

My pace slowed as I took everything in—rather, the lack of everything. It was only when I walked by the empty Wanmin Restaurant that I remembered this was where Xiangling's dad worked. I poked my head into the kitchen. Chef Mao wasn't here. No sign of food existed anywhere.

I shivered at the eerieness of this place, rubbing my arms.

There were two main entry points into Liyue Harbor by land, and I hurried to the closest one. Had everyone left the city? There wasn't much surrounding the area besides mountains, but Liyue Harbor was known for its spectacular lantern and firework shows. My brain told me that it was far too light out for a show, though people may have left to find a good vantage point before the sun set.

Soon enough, the bridge came into view. I jogged up to it, searching for signs of bodies that may have crossed. Nothing.

More confused than anything, I turned in a slow circle and caught my breath.

The music stuttered.

I had gotten so used to the tune, I forgot it was playing the whole time during my search. Only, now, the woodwinds and strings sped up, slowed down, quieted, and became out of tune at random. I held back another shudder.

Should I leave, too?

I backed away onto the bridge, worried the city's infrastructure might come to life and attack me. Just as I was about to turn away, though, I noticed something. I noticed someone. A man was sitting outside of Third-Round Knockout. He was alone, of course, but he didn't seem at all disturbed like he should be in this situation.

"Hello?" I called out to him. "Sir?"

His back faced me, so I couldn't see his face. Though, he did reach an arm out to pick up a cup of tea. How could he be so calm?

Cautious, I approached the strange man. His hair was black, and he wore traditional clothing. His outfit didn't look like it originated from Liyue, though. It struck me more as Inazuman, and my gut sank as I recognized the pattern on his kimono.

"Long time, no see, colleague."

I clenched my jaw and took a step back. "Enjou."

Before facing me, Enjou set his teacup down and grabbed the teapot at the center of the table. I anxiously watched as he poured out…nothing. There was nothing in the pot.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded.

It was then that he turned. "Please, have a seat. There are many, so take your pick."

"What," I glared at him. "Are you doing here?"

Enjou sighed, throwing his head back dramatically. "You refused to sit and relax the last time, too. Don't go thinking I forgot about that. You may be young, but it's important to take care of your physical body while you still can."

"Answer the question."

"I will if you sit," he said in a singsong voice that grated my nerves.

I didn't want to argue with him any longer than necessary, so I loudly pulled out the closest chair and sat down. Enjou clapped delightedly before pushing up his glasses with a finger.

"See? That wasn't so bad."

I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrows.

"Right, right," he waved a hand. "You want to know why I'm here. Isn't it obvious? I came here looking for you. I'd ask if you came here often, but it doesn't look like anyone comes around here at all. What's up with that?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose. It was hard to take Enjou, a high-ranking monster of the Abyss Order, seriously when he was like this. "If you're here, then I must be dreaming. You've infiltrated my dream, Enjou. Now, get out."

He breathed in wonder, looking around with wide eyes as if it was his first time outside of the Abyss. "This is a dream? Which means you created everything here in that pretty little head of yours, right? I've gotta say, you're lacking in imagination."

Enjou had been looking for me, and my mouth went dry at the thought. I already knew what he wanted, but what did he hope to achieve in this conversation? He already knew my stance.

"You were looking for me?" I prompted. "Why? I thought I already told you and your Order to get lost. There's no way I'll ever be your Source."

"I was under the impression that you'd be stopping by around my place again," he shrugged. "After we exchanged names and everything, too. I was only a little hurt that you took the Abyss off of your projection map. Was I a bad host? Should I have left a pie on the windowsill?"

"Stop," I held out a hand. "Stop talking like we know each other—like we're not enemies."

"Actually, we're collea—"

I fiercely shook my head. "We are not colleagues, either. Like I said before, I'm not working with you, and I'll never—"

"Yada-yada, the Abyss Order is evil. Blah-blah, stay away from Teyvat." He flapped his hand in a talking motion. "I get it. You're scared. If there was any other way for us to survive without the likes of you, I'd tell you."

Enjou fell into silence and tapped the side of his teacup.

"Guess what?" he grinned.

"What?" I dully played along.

"There is another way."

I leaned forward with interest. "There is?"

"Mhm," he nodded. "You're going to love it. The other option—the only other option where nobody from Teyvat has to descend into the spooky Abyss is, get this, we come to you. Permanently. Forever. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Enjou sipped his tea—though I was certain his teacup was just as empty as the teapot—with glee. My frown returned, and I was ready to wake up. What did I need to do, pinch myself?

"Is that some weird, human ritual to express gratitude?" Enjou wagged a finger at me.

I pinched my arm harder. "I'm trying to wake up."

"Oh. Well, that's no good. We only just got started talking. It seems like you prefer the second option even less than the first, and I'm inclined to agree. There's just too much light over here, I can barely keep from squinting my eyes half the time." Enjou looked at the sky. "Is there any way we can tone it down? What if I just—aha!"

I jolted as he raised both hands, sharpy clapping them together with such force, I could see the sound waves rippling outwards. The clap echoed, and the sky darkened to night.

"How did you do that?" I gaped. "This is my dream."

"Interesting, isn't it? How is it that I, a creature of the Abyss, am able to change a creation of your mind so easily? In the same vein, how is it that you were able to project yourself into the Abyss? I think we have a connection."

"We do not."

"Let me amend that, I think there is a connection with you and the Abyss. Clearly, you're the perfect candidate. You can't even deny it." He stared into his teacup. "For some reason, I can't make a piping hot one appear. Care to help me out?"

"No."

He cleared his throat. "Humans are so finicky. Though, I can't say Lector and Herald are any better. You should come to one of our board meetings. Not a night goes by when they aren't trying to overturn my judgments."

"I don't care," I grumbled. "Leave me alone."

Enjou snapped his fingers, ignoring me. "Speaking of Lector and Herald, they just so happen to be increasingly interested in a certain plot that I'm sure you won't be happy with."

He stared at me. No further detail was given.

I heaved an exasperated sigh. "What plot?"

"Didn't you ask that I leave you alone?"

Should I punch him? "Enjou."

"Fine," he mimicked my sigh. "Once my colleagues found out about you—don't look at me like that. I can't keep secrets regarding work business. Anyway, they aren't as keen as I am on the humane approach of asking you nicely."

I eyed Enjou warily. Sure, his human appearance was a lot easier to converse with than his Abyssal form. The nature of our conversations has never been hostile, either. As far as being recruited by evil went, Enjou had been rather nice about it.

"What's the not nice way? You've already raided my school."

"A reminder of the broken promise, remember?"

"You're already plaguing my mind. Do you know what we humans call unpleasant dreams, Enjou? Nightmares. You're a nightmare."

He winced, though I could tell it was for show. "A nightmare, huh? I know of another distinctly human word. What was it? Childsleep? Youngdoze? Ah, kidnap."

My mouth fell open. Surely, Enjou wasn't saying that the Abyss Lector and the Abyss Herald wanted to take me by force?

"They're plotting to kidnap you, Lumine." He whispered conspiratorially. "Crazy, right? Of course, I told them that was out of line. You'll be working with us once you get down there, but all that cooperation goes out the window if you're kicking and screaming the whole time."

My heart sped with panic, though I tried to keep my face neutral. Stay calm, Lumine. From what I could tell, Enjou genuinely didn't want to go down that route. I obviously couldn't trust anything he said, but if he wanted to use serious scare tactics like kidnapping, a monster like him would have done so sooner. Honestly, warning me of this now instead of outright kidnapping me was some sort of goodwill on his part.

"That's not going to happen," I scoffed.

Enjou nodded in agreement. "You're right, it's not. I would never green-light such a thing. Believe it or not, the Abyss Order is more than an order. We're a society. A family."

I couldn't stop my snort. The Abyss Order? A family?

"Sometimes, there are family conflicts. A society doesn't always exist in harmony, and there are bound to be a few rogues," Enjou stilled. "I could never harm one of my own, no matter what heinous acts they commit. You've probably heard of this one—it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission."

Then, if the Abyss Lector and the Abyss Herald were to go behind Enjou's back and try to abduct me anyways…

I tensed. "You wouldn't stop them."

Enjou held out his hands with a shrug as if the matter was out of his control. He tapped the edge of his teacup again. The light tinking sound filled the empty silence.

Enjou may be friendly, but he wasn't on my side. I had to remember that.

There were plenty of strong people on my side. We would discover the Abyss Order's secrets and find its weakness before the kidnapping threat ever became a reality. I had faith in my team, and yet…

"I can see that you're on edge. Good. That means you're actually taking me seriously."

"I take everything you say seriously. I just wish you were lying about, well, all of it. Getting kidnapped isn't exactly my idea of a good time."

"Well," he drawled. "If you just came willingly, then none of that would be necessary, now would it? In the grand scheme of things, there's not much time left. Though, in the context of your limited life span, there's plenty of time for you to think on my offer. So, do that."

Spring. The Grand Tournament. Comet Paimon's appearance. That's when the connection between our two worlds was the strongest. I had about half a year until then, and I'd already accomplished so much in just a few months at the Academy. There should be enough time to prepare.

"When do you think your colleagues will try to kidnap me?"

He didn't respond.

Enjou abandoned his teacup and leaned back with a knowing smile. The curl of his lips stretched and lengthened until he was literally smiling from ear-to-ear. I inched away as the rest of his body transformed into his Abyssal form. He stood, or rather, floated up from his chair and looked down at me. Flames licked around the wooden table, but it didn't catch fire. Just like the last time, the Pyro surrounding Enjou didn't radiate the intense heat that I expected. Was this how all upper Abyssal monsters were?

"I've delivered the message I came here to deliver."

I stood up quickly. "When, Enjou?"

"Ah, that's a secret." The embers in his left eye extinguished briefly. Was that a wink? "Only friends share secrets."

This again? "You can't just tell me they plan to kidnap me, but not tell me when. I can't…I can't properly think about my choices—or lack of—with that threat hanging over my head."

"Sure, you can. You go to a great school, so thinking should come easy."

"Enjou!"

"Enjoy your winter break, Lumine." He was burning up, literally. Starting from his armored legs, Enjou's body turned to ash in front of me. "It'll be your last."

I woke up sweating like I'd burnt up along with Enjou. My blankets were suffocating me, and I struggled to tug them off, struggled to think through what just happened, and struggled to calm down. Gasping, I fell onto the floor and immediately got up to check my door and window.

They were locked.

Would a lock really be enough to stop Abyssal monsters from warping in my room and whisking me away? My hands shook, and I clasped them together. Then, I began to pace.

There's absolutely no way I was going to sleep again, not after that dream. It really had been a dream this time instead of a projection into the Abyss. How had Enjou really gotten into my head? I didn't want to consider his theory. I didn't want to be connected to the Abyss. It had been so long since he made an appearance, and I only managed to hold him off after…

After I started thinking more about the people who made me feel safe.

When I was confident, sure of myself and the people around me, I could keep the Abyss Order away—mentally, at least. That changed today because of how shaken I'd been. Because of Kaeya.

Ironically, Kaeya was who I went to the first time I had an Abyss-related dream. He was also the one who casually suggested he keep me company at night in case I got caught up in another one. Why did it have to come back to Kaeya?

I sucked in the sob that threatened to take over. To busy myself, I slid into my chair and flipped open the closest notebook. Every concerning detail of my dream, and even the irrelevant ones, flowed onto the page. I read it over once. Twice.

If not Kaeya, who should I go to about this?

I stopped pacing at the foot of my bed. It wouldn't do much good to burst into their rooms in the middle of the night, not when we were meeting soon to talk about Venti's blunder. I would save the abduction threat for then.

I sat at the edge of my bed. My leg bounced up and down. Nervously, I watched the locks on my window and door a second time. Enjou told me to enjoy my winter break, and that it'd be my last. That had to mean that I was safe until after then, right? Being alone wasn't a risk—not yet.

My lip quivered, and I wrapped a blanket around myself protectively. I didn't want to be alone right now. Did I have to be?

No.

I stood up again, clutching the blanket around my shoulders, and swiftly left my room. It's a good thing the place I had in mind—Pyro House—was just one floor away. I wasn't sure if I had the energy to flee up several flights of stairs right now. Taking the steps two at a time, I quickly marched to the door in mind and prayed I didn't wake anyone nearby with my knocks. I prayed that everything would be alright. I prayed that Enjou was wrong.

I knocked.

As expected, there was silence. Any normal person would be dead asleep by now, but I had to try one more time. I knocked again and stepped close, keeping my voice low but clear.

"It's Lumine."

Relief flooded me when I heard instant footfalls on the other side. Maybe tonight wouldn't be so bad, after all.