WARNING THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SCENES WHICH ARE NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNG OR SENSITIVE READERS!
So this new chapter is finally up and it was the hardest one so far. It was really difficult to write it and it required big research as well. This chapter is soaked with my tears and it will affect Kuvira's and Baatar's personalities really much.
Don't forget to follow teasfanfics on INSTAGRAM. There is a special art for this chapter.
And please don't forget to write rewievs. I would really like to see feedback on this chapter because writing it was really emotional for me.
Zaofu, the Airship Station, after the airship's return
Baatar and Kuvira were still standing at the station platform and held each other tightly. Red lights were everywhere and the wind was getting colder and colder.
Even though Baatar gave Kuvira his jacket, even though she still felt cold and was shaking, she enjoyed being in Baatar's warm arms and loved the closeness she wished for during all the time away...
Baatar rested his head on top of Kuvira's and his eyes were closed. He was caressing Kuvira's back and was glad she's back home.
"I am so glad you are safe..." Baatar whispered and kissed her forhead. "Let's go home. The Residence is almost empty." he suggested and Kuvira nodded.
She felt so exhausted like never before and she will finally have some alone time to tell Baatar the news...
Kuvira tightened Baatar's coat around her and together they headed down to take a tram to the Beifongs's Residence. Luckily it was really late at night so nobody saw them.
During the ride, Kuvira was sitting on the seat and Baatar was next to her. She leaned her head on his shoulder and felt her eyes closing. She was so tired after all of this...
When Baatar was looking out of the tram window Kuvira put her hand on her lower belly and was glad the baby's heart is beating strongly as always... She thought that the rest she had on the airship helped and she wasn't so worried anymore...
After arriving to the Beifongs' Residence, Baatar and Kuvira walked hand in hand inside. They sneaked around the guards and Baatar knew that Huan was probably sleeping already.
They were walking down the hall to the staircase and Kuvira's legs were so heavy that walking was difficult for her. She couldn't wait to finally have some proper rest.
Baatar went up stairs and Kuvira followed him. She felt pain in her hip so she had to slow down a little. She hoped Baatar haven't noticed...She had to be strong...
When they got to Baatar's bedroom, Kuvira felt cramp in her back again. It had to be from walking on the stars... Kuvira thought for herself. She tightened her grip on the door frame and tried to breath it out... She had to pull herself together before Baatar turns on the light...but he noticed it...
"Kuvira? Is everything alright?" Baatar asked with concerns and Kuvira nodded.
"Don't worry Baatar. I just fell and my leg hurts a bit. It's nothing serious." Kuvira tried to sound confident but it wasn't so succesfull.
Kuvira walked to the bathroom before Baatar will ask more questions and took off her uniform. Her eyes got wider when she saw bruises on her outer thighs in the mirror. She walked to the shower corner and finally managed to warm up a little with nicely hot water.
While standing in the shower, Kuvira leaned her head on the cold tiles and she thought she will fall asleep here... But she couldn't go to sleep yet. They had to have really important conversation with Baatar tonight...and Kuvira was thinking how she should tell him... It was a life changing information...
After few minutes, Kuvira walked out of the shower and wrapped big white towel around her body. She tried to cover her bruises and hoped Baatar won't see them. She didn't want to scare him...
When Kuvira walked out of bathroom, she sat down on the edge of Baatar's bed wearing just a towel. Baatar kneeled next to her. "Do you want me to get something for you?" Baatar asked with smile and Kuvira take his hands to hers.
"I don't have my nightgown here anymore... Would you borrow me something please?" Kuvira asked and Baatar nodded with smile. He stood up and took light green t-shirt from his wardrobe. It was too big so it was like a dress for Kuvira...
Kuvira thanked Baatar and then watched him start a fire in his small fireplace while changing to her sleeping t-shirt.
Baatar wanted to make sure Kuvira will stay warm. He saw how pale she is.
Warm orange light was on Baatar's face and Kuvira took a deep breath. She was ready to start their conversation. But before she could say something... Baatar started talking...
"I'll bring you something to eat. You have to be starving. " Baatar said and Kuvira breathed out. She wanted to tell him but instead just nodded and covered with a duvet. Her hair wavy hair was all over the pillow and she whispered: "Please come back soon..."
Baatar smiled and nodded. He turned off the lights and the only source of light left was from the fireplace.
Kuvira heard the door close and laid comfortably in bed. It was so nice to finally be home... She enjoyed warm blankets and the fact that the baby was not in danger anymore...
While waiting for Baatar, Kuvira's eyelids got heavier and heavier. She wanted to sleep but knew she has to stay awake...She had to tell Baatar that he's going to be a father...
Kuvira yawned and put her hand on her little bump. Fatigue started taking control over her body. She was falling asleep... Kuvira tried to fight it but she closed her eyes before she could even realize it. During that time... she unfortunately haven't noticed that the baby's heartbeat got dangerously slower and weaker...
...
When Baatar got back to his bedroom with some food and jug with water, he saw that Kuvira fell asleep... He wanted to let her rest so he haven't woke her up.
Baatar put food and jug on his working table and took off his metal necklace and glasses. Then he climbed on the bed next to her.
Baatar knew Kuvira was really tired...It was no wonder because she haven't slept in almost three days and Baatar too.
He gently covered her with duvets and put loose strands of her dark hair behind her ear. Then Baatar softly kissed her forhead. "I love you Kuvira... I am so happy you are back..." Baatar whispered and laid closer to Kuvira. He smiled softly and fell asleep with Kuvira in his arms...
...
The sun was high up on the sky and Kuvira was laying on the grass in the meadow surrounded by forest... It was summer and Kuvira was wearing mid length light green dress and her hair was down. She was barefoot.
She heard the birds singing nicely and soft breeze made long grass dance. Kuvira didn't know this place but she liked it here. It seemed so peacefull and nice. The sky was blue without a cloud and the ground, where Kuvira was laying, felt like the softest pillow.
Kuvira reached her hand towards the sun as she tried to create a shadow for her eyes. Her fingers were dancing in the sunlight and it was so bright...she felt happy here...
Kuvira enjoyed her rest and was still laying in the grass while listening to bird's songs. She yawned and stretched her arms but something caught her attention. It was a sound...a baby sound...
She heard happy baby babbling and immediately searched for the source of the sound... Kuvira was now laying on her side supporting her weight with her elbow.
Kuvira was looking around in all directions and then she saw the source of babbling...Not so far away from her, little infant was sitting in the grass and was playing with daisy flowers. Kuvira had a soft smile on her face now as she enjoyed the look at that beautiful little one. Her heart was racing as she thought she's looking at her own little child...
The baby was really small and Kuvira thought that sitting is completly new activity for the little one because of swinging and almost falling from time to time...The baby had to be about seven months old and Kuvira couldn't stop looking.
Even though Kuvira could only see the baby's back and didn't know wether it is a little boy or girl... she immediately fell in love with the baby even more. The little one's hair was short and dark brown and a soft breeze was playing with it. The baby was also wearing light green onesie with little white dots.
Kuvira couldn't take her eyes from the precious baby and her heart jumped with joy when the baby saw a little white butterfly flying around and started clapping happily while laughing.
Kuvira smiled for herself and wanted to go closer to her baby and share the sweetest hug. She sat up and wanted to go but something stopped her. She couldn't move from her place. It was like she was attached to the ground.
She didn't know what does this mean but Kuvira really wanted to meet her baby...
So Kuvira thought about it and after a while she come up with idea. She could try something different...Maybe the baby can move.
"Hello little one." Kuvira said lovingly and the baby seemed to realize mother's presence. Kuvira hoped the baby will look at her but instead just babbled hapilly in response. Kuvira still couldn't see that little face.
Kuvira picked a dandelion which was growing next to her and said: "Look what I have. Don't you wanna see that little dandelion?" hope was in her voice and Kuvira saw that the baby started moving. It looked like the little one will crawle closer to Kuvira and she couldn't wait to held her baby in her arms.
Crawling seemed challenging for little child but after a while Kuvira could almost see the face. Her heart was beating fastly and she wished to finally see that cute little smile. Just a few centimetres left and they could be together...
But the baby suddenly changed the direction of crawling. The butterfly appeared on the sky again and it caught the little one's attention.
Kuvira sighed and was looking at the butterfly more closely. She spotted that something was different. That butterfly used to be white but now it turned black... It landed on the baby's little shoulder and sat there for a while. Then flied away directly to the near forest...
Kuvira didn't know what does that meant. She started to feel anxiety and what once was a blue sky... turned into grey and cloudy in just a few seconds... She looked up to the sky and saw that the rain will start soon... The thunder could be heard from afar...
When Kuvira looked back at the baby, she saw that the direction of crawling have changed. Little child was now following black butterfly to the forest while babbling and Kuvira was worried.
Kuvira felt fear and she still couldn't move. Her little one was crawling farther and farther and she couldn't stop it. That forest might be dangerous...
"Please... baby... come back." Kuvira called loudly but baby didn't raect at all. "That forest might be dangerous and I won't be able to look after you there... Please crawl back to me..." Kuvira added and opened her arms... but still nothing happened. The baby was now too far...
"Please... don't follow that butterfly...don't leave me here alone..."Kuvira was now desperate. She was worried about her baby and there was nothing she could do... She had to be the one who protects but she was powerless.
Kuvira started panicking and her breathing was fast. The wind was getting stronger and Kuvira's long hair was covering her eyes. She couldn't see the baby...
"No!" Kuvira screamed and tried to run. Tears were running down her cheeks. She tried to save her little baby from that black butterfly and from the storm which is about to come... She couldn't stand a thought that the baby is alone in such a horrible weather in the forest...
"Please come back to me!" Kuvira was begging but the storm was already here and Kuvira didn't see her baby anymore. She couldn't move... "Noo!" she cried and her voice cracked. She was so happy at the begining but right now she was worried like never before. The meadow was covered with darkness and Kuvira felt her heart breaking... Her baby was gone and she couldn't do anything. The pain was undescribeable...
That sharp pain... felt too real... Kuvira couldn't breath and the next wave of pain tore her out of her nightmare...
...
"Gaah!" Kuvira quietly groaned in pain as she felt a wave of sharp cramps in her lower belly. She was laying in bed in fetal position and one of her hands was covering her little bump while she was covering her face with her second hand.
Kuvira's breathing was fast and cold sweat was covering her body. That pain was so serious it woke Kuvira up from her sleep and her dark green eyes were widely open from fear now. That nightmare... had to be warning... Kuvira thought for herself. She tried to move but cramps didn't allow it.
She was taking deep breaths and tried to wait till that pain will dissapeare. Kuvira felt chills and when the cramps ended, she gasped in relief.
Kuvira sat up and her arm was protectively wrapped around her belly. Her hair was wet from sweat and Kuvira was shaking from pain. Baatar was laying on the other side of the bed still sleeping and Kuvira knew she had to tell him... now...
Her breathing was fast as she tried to stand up but every move was really painfull for Kuvira. She held onto the night table and after few seconds she finally managed to get up.
Kuvira was so afraid. She felt really bad and knew that the baby is in danger. They had to find help immediately... Kuvira loved the begining of the dream she had tonight and she couldn't loose her beloved little one. She was so so afraid and her heart was breaking when she realized baby has to be struggling inside of her in pains...
When finding needed support to stay standing, Kuvira grabbed Baatar's dark green jacket which he gave to her and she tried to put it on while still holding onto the night table with one hand.
The pain which Kuvira felt in her back was now twice worse than yeasterday...
"Baatar..." Kuvira said as loudly as she could but her voice cracked because she still had troubles breathing. "Baatar... we have to go to the hospital..." it was barely a whisper now... Kuvira had trouble standing.
"Baatar... wake up... we have to hurry to the hospital before it's too late..." Kuvira now felt tears starting to run down her face.
Her breathing was fast and unstable. Kuvira felt so much fear and anxiety. She still tried to put on Baatar's jacket but next wave of painfull cramps hit her so hard that the jacket fell out of her hands...
"Aaah!" Kuvira moaned in pain and both of her arms were now wrapped around her belly. Her body was shaking from pain and cold and Kuvira almost fell on the floor...
"Baatar..." Kuvira gasped in fear and turned at him while still protecting her baby bump with her hands. "Something bad happened..." but before she could finish the sentence something caught her attention and Kuvira couldn't breath from the shock.
The bedsheets on the side of the bed, where Kuvira was sleeping were soaked with dark red blood.
"No..." Kuvira gasped and her heart felt like breaking into million pieces. She had to sleep barely three hours. "No..." Kuvira covered her mouth with one hand and tried to hold her crying and sobbing inside... Kuvira turned around and looked at the lower back part of her sleeping t-shirt. There was a huge blood stein...
Kuvira was in trance and couldn't catch breath. Her shaking hand was covered with blood as it touched the back part of her t-shirt.
Kuvira put her hand on her little bump and the biggest wave of sadness and pain ran through her body when she didn't feel the baby's heartbeat in return... She was devastated...
"Noo... my baby..." Kuvira cried and fell on the floor while holding her little bump. "My little baby..." Kuvira's voice could barely be heard as she was gasping in shock.
All that blood everywhere. It was too late. Her nightmare wasn't a warning. It was reality and Kuvira hated herself for that. She promised her baby to always protect and be there. But now she felt like she failed as a mother and it was tearing her apart.
Kuvira was on the floor crying and the next wave of pain arrived. "No... my little baby... How can I stop it..." she was now sobbing loudly and was so scared. Kuvira was trying to breath properly to reduce cramp pain but it didn't work.
She felt something warm after cramps faded away and she looked at her legs. Warm dark red blood was running down her thighs.
"Noo... I don't wanna loose you. I can't loose you my little bump." Kuvira was crying and her arms were wrapped around her belly. She was shaking.
Kuvira was in her lowest point... She was so scared and in pain... She could barely see because her tears blinded her.
Baatar was always a heavy sleeper and he doesn't know about their baby yet... and Kuvira decided with broken heart it has to stay this way. She didn't want Baatar to be as sad and devastated as her... She didn't want him to be struggling and mourning. Kuvira will have to face this on her own...
Kuvira climbed back to the bed and covered a huge blood stein with a duvet so Baatar wouldn't see it when he wakes up. Her body was shaking from cramps and cold but she wanted to save Baatar from all the pain.
She took a deep breath and looked at sleeping Baatar. His messy dark brown hair... The baby in her dream had his hair color... When Kuvira realized it, she started sobbing even more...
Kuvira crawled to the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She turned on the small lamp and felt the next wave of cramps taking control over her body. This time it was so strong Kuvira ended up vomitting to the toilet from pain...
She was in her lowest point and was crying on the bathroom floor while laying in fetal position. "My baby..." Kuvira cried and felt the blood still coming out of her... She didn't even want to imagine how their little baby had to suffer with pains while dying...
So small... so fragille... and still had to cope with all the pain and danger. Baby was not yet strong enough to make it out...
"Mommy loves you..." Kuvira whispered and caressed her bump. She wanted baby to know even though there was no life left... "Mommy loves you so much..." Kuvira still hoped she would feel the heartbeat again but it was quiet. "I don't want to loose you..." her sobbing was now louder and there was a storm in Kuvira's mind...
"I saw you in my dream, little one... I can't loose you...I want to be your mom... Please don't leave me and your daddy here alone..." she cried and was shaking. Her stomach hurt so much...
"I am sorry I wasn't able to protect you enough ..." Kuvira's voice cracked and loud sobbing filled whole bathroom... Kuvira was heartbroken...
...
It was already 4 a.m. when Baatar had a bad dream and it woke him up. He opened his eyes and watched the ceiling. The bedroom was filled with darkness and Baatar sighed. He had a nightmare that Kuvira died in the battle and his heart almost jumped out of his chest because of fear.
Baatar massaged his face and turned at his side. He wanted to held Kuvira closely and make sure she's calmly sleeping next to him...
He reached his arm in direction of Kuvira and wanted to hug her... but her side of the bed was cold and empty.
Baatar's eyes got widely open and he was now completly awake. He quickly turned around and turned on the little lamp while supporting his weight with his elbow.
"Kuvira?" Baatar said but the bedroom was empty. Kuvira had to go away...Baatar quickly sat up and fear ran trough his body. "Where is she?" he thought for himself... But after closer look Baatar saw something dark on Kuvira's side of the bed...
He quickly threw the bedsheets away and his heart almost stopped when he saw blood on the sheets...
"Oh no..." Baatar said and immediately jumped out of the bed. There was blood on the floor too... Baatar was afraid his nightmare came true...
Baatar kneeled and was looking closely on the blood steins... It seemed like drops on the carpet...
His breathing was fast and Baatar was really worried about her. Kuvira has to be seriously injured...
Baatar thought about where Kuvira could be. Why she didn't wake him up... He had to find her... Baatar quickly stood up and wanted to ran out of the bedroom. He thought Kuvira might went to find some help outside...
But before he got out of the bedroom... Baatar heard quiet sobbing coming from the bathroom... Kuvira had to be inside...
Baatar quickly ran closer and wanted to open the door but it was locked.
"Kuvira!? ... you are injured... please open the door!" Baatar was desperately knocking on the door and was really afraid. All that blood and Kuvira's sobbing made him so worried.
Kuvira heard Baatar's voice and looked in the direction of the door. He had to see all that blood...
"No Baatar..." she said quietly "I'll be fine... Please go back to sleep..." Kuvira wanted her voice to sound strong but she failed.
"No Kuvira...there is blood everywhere. You have to be injured. Please... let me in. I'm so worried about you..." Baatar begged Kuvira and was really afraid.
Kuvira took a deep breath and tried to convince him once again... "I am alright, Baatar... I just need some time..." she couldn't hold her mask anymore and started sobbing again. "Just... give me few more minutes... I don't want you to see me like this..." Baatar now could hear her crying.
It was Kuvira... She tried to stay strong even in times she needed help the most... Baatar put both of his hands on the door and rested his forhead on it. "Kuvira... I am so worried about you... I know you need help..." Baatar said and closed his eyes. "I can't stand a thought that something is happening and you are in danger... you are seriously bleeding... please Kuvira ... we have to go to the hospital..." Baatar said with fear in his voice while his heart was racing...
"I am not going to the hospital... " Kuvira cried and covered her face with her hands. She didn't want anyone to know about what happened to her..."I can't... "she added.
"Kuvira please..." Baatar begged her. "If you don't want to go to the hospital, then I will call doctor Lao. He owes us from the time we helped him during the storm. Do you remember?" he was trying to convince Kuvira but she rejected it.
"No! No doctor..." Baatar could hear panic in Kuvira's voice and he sighed with fear. Something terrible had to happen... He couldn't just stand there anymore...
"Kuvira I have to help you. I am breaking the door if you won't let me in..." Baatar said and was dying in fear.
Kuvira heard worries in his voice. She can't keep her pregnancy a secret from Baatar anymore. He already saw too much... She took a deep breath and quickly dryied her tears but the new ones started to form immediately. This was supposed to be a happy day for them... but it was ruined...
Baatar was desperately knocking on the door again and again and he was ready to destroy it. But then... he heard the door unlock. Kuvira used her metalbending for it.
Baatar felt relief and immediately rushed inside to help Kuvira... He realized he never saw her crying before...
When Baatar got to the bathroom, the next wave of fear ran through his body. There was even more blood on the tiles than it was in the bed...
"No..." Baatar said quietly and heard Kuvira's sobbing coming out of the shower... Baatar quickly rushed there and removed the curtain...
"Kuvira..." his heart nearly stopped... Nothing could prepare him for what he just saw. Baatar felt fear and pain and immediately kneeled next to crying Kuvira.
She was sitting in the shower corner and Baatar never saw Kuvira that pale. There were dark violet bruises on her thighs and small stream of blood was dissapearing in the shower sink... Kuvira was shaking and crying...She was trying to pull the lower part of her sleeping t-shirt down to cover her lap as much as possible and her underwear soaked with blood was laying in the other corner of the shower...
Kuvira was sobbing loudly and when she looked Baatar in the eyes, her eyes were red from crying...
"Holy spirits, Kuvira!" Baatar was shocked and so worried. He quickly crawled closer to Kuvira and tried to find injury on her leg. That fall had to be more serious than Kuvira told him.
"Baatar please... go back to sleep. I don't want you to see me in this state..." Kuvira gasped and looked him in the eyes. It was so difficult for her that Baatar was seeing her in this moment...
"No Kuvira. I love you. I have to help you. We need to go to the hospital... You are bleeding too much." Baatar now felt tears in his eyes. He was afraid he'll loose Kuvira... Baatar still tried to find her injury and was now checking her bruises...
"Baatar..." Kuvira whispered sadly and took his hand to hers. Baatar realized she's stopping him. He looked into her eyes and saw that Kuvira already gave up.
"Baatar... you won't find any injury..." Kuvira said quietly and sadly looked down on her belly. "You won't find any injury outside... because..." she was now sobbing again. "because... this is our little baby...I am pregnant, Baatar... " Kuvira now put Baatar's hand on her belly and sobbed...
Baatar was speechless. Million thoughts and emotions just ran through his body and he felt warm tears in his eyes... Kuvira was pregnant... He was supposed to become a father...
It all made sense now. Kuvira's fatigue and paleness. The way she acted lately... It had to be that important thing Kuvira wanted to tell him few days ago. How did he never realized it... Baatar froze on the place and the wave of sadness filled him up.
"Kuvira..." Baatar whispered sadly and hugged her tightly. She was shaking and her skin was cold as ice.
Kuvira wished she could tell Baatar happy news but sadly it was not possible.
He wrapped his arms around her and said: "That's what you wanted to tell me..." his voice cracked. Kuvira nodded in response.
"It happened that night when we were sleeping together here in your bedroom. I calculated wrong that night. We had only one safe day left and it just..." talking was difficult for Kuvira but she was glad Baatar's strong arms were around her.
Baatar thought about her words and realized Kuvira is already in the third month of pregnancy...Baatar remembered the medicine lessons from Ba Sing Se university... The baby has to be a size of a plum and almost fully formed now...
"Kuvira..." Baatar said desperately. "Maybe...we can still do something. Healers could maybe help if we'll hurry to hospital." tears were now running down Baatar's cheeks. "We have to help to our little one..." Baatar knew about the baby just for a minute but a strong bond was already created and he had to do something... He had to help to his and Kuvira's little family...
Baatar wanted to pick Kuvira up from the floor and carry her to the healer but she stopped him. "It's too late Baatar..." Kuvira sobbed and saw that Baatar doesn't want to believe to what he's just hearing. "The baby's little heart...it is not beating anymore..." Kuvira covered her face with her hands. "I am loosing our baby." she cried and her voice cracked. Baatar's heart broke.
"No..." Baatar sighed in pain and looked around him again. There were blood clotts on the tiles and Kuvira already lost all the hope... It really was too late.
"I don't want it, Baatar... I don't want to loose our little baby." Kuvira was crying and Baatar couldn't stand seeing Kuvira in such pain. He held her tightly and before he could say something... Kuvira groaned in pain.
"Gaaah!" her unique tone of voice was completly different now. It sounded so desperately and Baatar was so worried... All the pain could be heard in her voice...
Kuvira's hand traveled to her belly and her breathing got even faster. The next wave of cramps arrived and Baatar hated that he can't help Kuvira relieve the pain...
Kuvira was on her knees now and wrapped her arms around Baatar's neck as she needed support. Baatar immediately wrapped his arms around her waist and was caressing her back till the pain disappears.
"Kuvira is there anything I can do to help you?" Baatar asked desperately and felt powerless. He shouldn't let Kuvira go fight the Red Lotus. Everything would be different now and Kuvira wouldn't be suffering like this...
She shaked her head and felt chills even more. "Baatar... I think the baby is coming out." Kuvira cried and Baatar's eyes got wider.
Kuvira felt pressure in that area and felt something slightly bigger than previous blod clotts moving out of her.
Baatar felt Kuvira's tears on his shoulder and wished he could stop all of this. All the pain, all the suffering... He had to be there for Kuvira. It was the only thing he could do for her. And he hated himself for that...
"No... our baby...I want it to stay inside of me... noo." Kuvira was crying out loud as she felt pressure getting bigger and bigger. "Baatar please stop all of this... Please save our baby..." she was begging even though she knew Baatar can't do anything...
Baatar was destroyed by seeing Kuvira like this and he wanted nothing else than to help her and save them both. But there was no way he could do it. He was holding Kuvira and said: "I am here Kuvira. I am not leaving you. Never... I 'll always be there for you... And I know how much you and I love our little one. I am sure baby knows it as well..."Baatar was whispering to her ear. "The baby is loved and we will always be together in our hearts..." Baatar couldn't hold it anymore and started sobbing as well.
Kuvira listened to Baatar's words and was so glad he's holding her. She was so glad he said all of this. She hugged him as tightly as she could even though her arms were weak and could feel his love.
They waited in each other's arms for a few minutes and when the next wave of sharp pain arrived... Kuvira gave birth...
Quiet suddenly filled up the bathroom...
Kuvira felt so empty and was afraid to look on the floor under her. She didn't want to see her dead baby. For the first time in her life Kuvira was not strong enough... She decided to only remember nice moments which she had when the baby was happy and healthy inside of her. She chose to remember strong heartbeat instead of deadly quiet.
Baatar and Kuvira sat on the bathroom floor for a long time and they were in each other's arms. Baatar knew Kuvira is really exhausted and destroyed... So he later asked her if she'll take at least some medicine from him when she doesn't want to see the doctor... and Kuvira agreed. She felt so weak...
Baatar quickly rushed to his laboratory and prepared strong sedative which should relieve the pain...
Kuvira was alone in the bathroom for barely five minutes but she still couldn't find strength to look down. She was watching the ceiling and wondered if their little baby is already in heaven while tears ran down her face. She felt so empty.
When Baatar got back, Kuvira took the medicine and was so tired... Baatar carried her to the bathtub and quickly changed the bedsheets while Kuvira was taking a bath. She was only sitting in hot water and didn't have a strength to move... She was looking at the wall quietly.
Kuvira didn't know what exactly was in that medicine but she started to fall asleep... Baatar quickly returned to the bathroom and helped Kuvira out. He wrapped her to a fresh towel and assisted her with taking on his different t-shirt.
They weren't talking. Being together was the only thing they needed right now... When Baatar carried Kuvira to the bedroom, she fell asleep in his arms... Baatar gently put her to the bed and covered her with duvet. He gave her his own duvet as well because her skin was still really cold...
Baatar sat on the edge of the bed and still felt tears in his eyes... He held Kuvira's hand in his and then put a soft kiss on her pale forhead.
Million of thoughts were in his mind but right now, he couldn't focuse at all of them. He was not strong enough...
After a while of quiet... Baatar realized there was one more important thing he had to do tonight...
Baatar kissed Kuvira's hand and slowly stood up. Then he headed back to the bathroom...
The blood was all over the floor and Baatar thought Kuvira probably has to have some inner injury as well. This was too much blood... When he saw her bruises... it was clear that something had to happened inside of her body too...
Baatar continued closer to the shower corner and took a deep breath. He knew that what he'll see tonight will never disappear from his memories...
He kneeled down and slowly removed the curtain with his shaking hand again. He covered his mouth and his heart broke. Tears started running down his face when he saw little baby in destroyed sac on the cold tiles...
Baatar started sobbing and the wave of pain took control over his body. The baby... was really small but with tiny arms and legs already... Fully formed and so fragille...
This was the result of his and Kuvira's night full of passion and love. Baatar remembered all the kisses and touches. The way the air was hot under the covers and how their bodies moved together in well known rythm. Baatar remembered how their skin was covered with sweat and how Kuvira's moans filled the room... That night... they created a new life... New life which was now laying lifeless on the bathroom floor...
Baatar was devastated.
He took off his dark green t-shirt and carefully put it on the floor. Then he took a deep breath and gently picked the little baby from the tiles...
The baby was much smaller than Baatar's hand and weighted almost nothing... but Baatar's love for the little one was endless. He carefully put the baby on his t-shirt and paid a quiet tribute...
It was too early to say wether it's a boy or girl but the baby's little face was so beautiful...
"Why all of this had to end this way." Baatar said in broken tone of voice and covered his face with his hands. He wished he could do more...
Baatar sighed in pain and slowly covered the baby with his t-shirt. It was a little dark green bunch and Baatar held it in his arms close to his heart. He wanted to held his baby at least once...
After a while of quiet Baatar stood up and wanted to go to the gardens but before he left the bedroom, he realized Kuvira should have a chance to say goodbye and held her baby at least once as well...
He walked closer to his bed and put a little bunch on chest of sleeping Kuvira. He wrapped her arms around carefully and then sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Mommy loves you so much... and I do too..." Baatar whispered and watched Kuvira holding their baby. He couldn't even imagine how painfull whole pregnancy had to be for her...and the fact she was hiding it from everyone... Baatar wished she would tell him earlier...
After few more minutes of quiet, Baatar sighed and knew it's time to go. With broken heart, Baatar took a bunch away from Kuvira and headed to the gardens. He didn't care his clothes is covered with blood and he's not wearing any t-shirt... He had to do one more thing before the sun will rise...
Burry the baby...
...
The domes were still closed and it was dark everywhere. Baatar was hiding before the guards and rushed to one specific place in the Beifongs' Gardens... to their willow tree...
Baatar held the bunch carefully a kneeled close to the trunk. This was his and Kuvira's favourite place in the gardens and he didn't want their baby to be somewhere else...
Baatar put the bunch on the ground and started digging a grave with his bare hands while tears ran down his face... It was something really emotional and memorable for him. He was saying goodbye to his little son or daughter forever...
When the grave was finished... Baatar carefully took a bunch and hugged it for the last time. "We will never forget you..." he whispered and then slowly put the bunch to the grave while his hands were shaking...
He didn't want to leave. He wanted to stay here forever... But Kuvira was still in his bedroom and she needed him.
Baatar took a deep breath and slowly put the soil back to it's place while his tears were falling on the ground. It was so hard for him...and he couldn't believe how quickly he fell in love with their little child. He felt love, sadness, pain and anger... But this was not the right time to think about all of this...
This was about the baby...
Baatar paid a tribute to the baby for few more minutes and then remembered he still has a little white stone from Kuvira in his počet. He decided to put it on the grave to mark the exact place where the little one is resting...
Baatar sat there in quiet and was looking on the grave. He knew he will never forget how he saw the baby on the bathroom floor for the first time... He wondered how it is possible to change people's lives so rapidly during just a few hours...
When the domes started opening, Baatar was disturbed from his thoughts and knew he has to rush back. Nobody could knew about all of this. It was Kuvira's wish that it has to stay only between the two of them...
Baatar looked at the little grave for the last time and put his hand on the ground. He sighed and then quickly ran back to the Residence while tears running down his face before the guards will see him.
His heart was beating fast and he knew that this day... will change everything... this day will change him and Kuvira forever...
So that was a new chapter and I am crying again. Kuvira and Baatar are really sad and heartbroken. Baatar cried in this chapter and I think we should normalize men to be able to cry without others judging them. Everybody has feelings.
Do you think Kuvira saw her baby in dream or was it somewhere else?
Also, Baatar suffers with insomnia from this day and he has trouble sleeping because he's worried he won't wake up when others needs him.