Memorial Day…The unofficial first day of summer! Too bad my son has a fever… Oh well.
Ok, so I wanted to try something a little different… a little stranger, and well… you be the judge of it.
One of the problems with writing stories vs. what goes on in my mind (a scary place incidentally) is that a lot of things that go on is very visual… like a TV show. That's hard to convey onto paper. So I wrote this like a script of a show complete with imagery in italics…
I do not own…
Diane Farrah: (walking down the street with microphone looking intently at the camera) Welcome to another addition of Ultimate Exposure and Beyond. Diane Farrah here. We are on location for a very special edition to investigate where are they now? Twenty years ago the nightmare known as the Nanite Event was ended by the second Nanite event known as the Worldwide Cure perpetrated by none other than Providence's secret weapon...
Camera trains onto Rex watering his lawn in his bathrobe.
Now reduced to domesticity.
Farah steps in front of Rex with microphone in his face. The camera gets a close up of his annoyed face.
How does it feel to once being the hero of millions to being almost a nobody?
Camera focuses on Rex's glare.
Rex:(turning hose onto the camera) Oops, I didn't see you there.
He sprays again. Farrah covers her head with microphone.
Or there…
He sprays again. Farrah and camera man back away.
Or there…
Rex stalks back to his house with the water hose.
Diane: (turns to camera) It apparently is a sore point in his life.
Camera cuts out. Fades back in.
Diane: (pointing microphone into Violeta's face) How does it feel to be the daughter of the man who ended the world's worst plague?
Violeta:(shrugs) Okay, I guess.
Diane:(with a fake smile) Is there anything you can tell us about the day in the life of your father?
Violeta:(frowns and looks thoughtful) Well, he likes to walk around in his bathrobe, he always steals the comic section from the paper even though he promises to let Raffy and me read it first…
Diane:(fake smile straining)No, I mean does he still engage in top secret missions? Are there any late night visitors?
Violeta:(nods) Oh, yeah once Uncle Caesar locked himself out of his house and he came over to ours because he didn't want to wake up Aunt Beverly and the baby.
Diane: (starting to look annoyed) No, no I mean does he still work at stopping… bad things from happening.
Violeta:(looks confused) Well, he once tried to stop the toilet from over flowing… that didn't end well.
Diane:(face palms)Never-mind. Hal, shut off the camera.
Camera cuts off. Fade back in.
Rafael:(he looks blankly into the camera)Mommy told me I shouldn't talk to strangers.
Diane: (has another fake smile) I'm not a stranger. Haven't you seen me on TV before?
Rafael:( peers into her face) Oh hey yeah, you're that old lady on TV.
Diane:(smile strains) No, you must be thinking of someone else.
Rafael:(squints) You wear a lot of make-up.
Diane:(sighs and smiles wider) So can you tell us what your father has been up to these last few years.
Rafael:(brightens) He's been building me a fort in the backyard. He's helping me train my puppy. He …
Diane:(smile falters) I mean what does your father do at work.
Rafael:(looks confused) Dad works?
Diane:(looks frustrated but tries again)Where does he go in the morning?
Rafael:(thinks a moment)He sneaks behind the house to eat his stash of junk food so that mommy doesn't find out.
He leans over and whispers.
He's supposed to be on a diet.
Diane:(throws her hand in the air) Forget it. Hal…
She makes a cutting motion with her hand across her neck.
Rafael:(stares at them) You want him to cut your head off?
Diane looks at Rafael and is about to answer when…
Circe:(comes out of the house angrily) Hey! You vultures get away from my baby!
She comes out and blasts the camera. The screen shows static.
0o0
Diane:(sitting in a chair with papers in her lap) Good evening and welcome to Ultimate Exposure and Beyond. Tonight we bring you a story on Providence's former secret weapon.
Monitor in the back shows Rex in his bathrobe picking up the morning paper. He notices there is camera on him. He walks into the garage and comes out with a garden hose. Water hits the camera.
Neighborhood menace or grumpy old man? You decide.
0o0
Rex and Bobo in their bathrobes were sitting on the couch watching the show. Rex turned off the television set.
"Wow, she's getting desperate for material." Bobo commented.
"Who's she calling old?" Rex scoffed. "Has she looked at the mirror lately?"
"Well, some of us age better than others." Bobo grinned cracking his knuckles.
"Please, I look better than you do." Rex snapped.
"In ya dreams." Bobo flicked his popcorn at Rex.
Rex batted the popcorn away. "No, in reality."
"Are you both still sitting around in your underwear? At least get dressed!" Circe glared at both of them.
"It's a simian undergarment." Bobo pointed out.
"And I'm not wearing any underwear." Rex grinned.
"Great, now I have to burn that robe." Circe muttered under her breath. Then in a louder voice, "Go!"
"Fine," Rex grumbled getting up.
"Ke-che." Bobo made a whipping motion and noise. Circe smacked him with a rolled up newspaper.
"You too!" Circe pointed him up the stairs. "Or no more sleepovers!"
"Geesh, I'm goin'…" Bobo grumbled.
Rex snickered at him until he caught Circe's glare.
She watched both of them disappear up the stairs.
Circe looks at you.
"What are you looking at? Go on, go do something today." She picks up the remote and clicks.
Screen fades to black.
This is clearly crack. What do you think?