CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
The Cards You Are Dealt!
XXX
With the fog, came petrichor. It started raining. Hard. By the time they got back to Kaede's room, both shinobi were soaked from head to toe. The Hidden Mist rain was like no other. It crept up on you. Silently and without rousing suspicion, it dumped buckets on your head before you could even process it. It was cold. Freezing cold.
"What happened back there?" Naruto asked as they stormed into Kaede's apartment.
"I told you! They tried to attack me!" Kaede yelled, removing her cloak, and flinging it into the laundry basket.
"They attacked you? Kaede, I've known those guys for three years. They'd never just attack you out of the blue."
"So, you're saying it's my fault?" Kaede paused.
"No? I'm…" Naruto turned to her. She was standing in front of her couch in her keyhole shirt and shorts, fingers loosely curled into a fist, with tears welling up in her eyes. He didn't want to say anything to upset her and since his teammates weren't around to hear him, he figured he'd just take her side. Just this once. "… now that I think about it, they can get a little out of control sometimes. I'm sorry to hear about what happened, I should've been there for you, but I got distracted by Neji," he said before walking up to her and giving her a warm hug.
"Your hoodie's wet," she said, the tears caught in her throat.
"Yeah… rain tends to do that."
"I'm sure I have something that'll fit you," she said, disconnecting from his hug and disappearing behind a door across from him. She popped her head out and threw one of her hooded cloaks at him.
"How many of these do you have?"
"Seven," she replied, walking out of the door with a pile of clothes, "One for every day of the week." She walked up to him and dropped the pile at his feet, "Do you think any of these will fit on you?"
"Do they fit on you?"
"Yeah."
"Then no," he said, analysing her petite figure. He was a solid foot taller than her and probably weighed 20 kgs more than her. When Kaede said that she wasn't built for combat, she wasn't lying. Without her large black cloak, Naruto could see the woman's ribs pressing up against her skin along the sides of her torso. Looking at her for the first time without her robe, it made sense now why she wore skin-tight clothing. The slightest bit of slack and those clothes would fall right off.
"Just try some of them on," she demanded.
"Are you sure you want me to try on your clothes?" Naruto asked, picking one of her pants. There was no way any of these clothes fitted. He'd picked up a pair of camo cargo pants that looked like they'd fit the Uzumaki comfortably. If they fit him comfortably, then surely, they just slipped off the petite kunoichi.
"I rarely wear those anyway. Plus, I'll wash them. Just try them on."
"In front of you?"
"I'm your girlfriend."
"That doesn't answer my question."
"Of course it does. I was bound to see you naked at some point," she said before dropping onto her couch, one leg folded over the other, "Now, strip," she teased. Naruto picked up another pair of baggy pants that he was sure wasn't going to fit on him, and he tossed it at the kunoichi. The fabric landed on her head, draping over her face and eyes. "Boo…" she replied, choosing to keep the pants on her head until the Uzumaki got dressed.
"You seem to know how relationships work. Have you had a boyfriend before?" Naruto asked, testing different shirts. It was a mission. Everything was just right, except for something. One shirt was the ideal size, but it was so tight, that the Uzumaki couldn't breathe without hearing the crackling of stitching tearing. Another was made up of loose enough material, but the elastic along his biceps and neck were too tight, restricting mobility. A third was nice and breathable, it would've been perfect had it not cut off just above his belly button.
Since he'd already put his pants on, Kaede removed the cloth from her face to answer the question. "Yeah. I've had two boyfriends in the past. One when I was eight and the other when I was eleven, but when you're that young, relationships are very different from what they are now."
"Well, what's the difference?"
"You expect different things from being in a relationship when you're a child. Back then it was just about holding hands behind the tree in the playground and looking cool in front of your classmates… just having the right to say, 'Look at me, I have a boyfriend. I'm so much more grown-up than all of you'."
"I mean… you're still technically a child," he said, trying on his fifth shirt.
"Pfft, I'm not a child. I'm also a shinobi. For all I know, I could die tomorrow, so I don't have the luxury of taking things slow anymore."
"… So, what are your new expectations from a relationship as a shinobi?"
"The usual, you know?"
"No, I really don't," he said, the sixth shirt in hand.
"I just want like… hugging and kissing and cuddling… I want someone to hold, and I want to be held. I just wanted someone I can feel safe with. Someone I can trust. And of course, I want someone I can have an intimate relationship with."
"Intimate relationship in what way?"
"Oh, you know what I mean by that."
"Once again, I really don't."
"Sex."
"Oh… yeah… that," Naruto moved around to try and hide the strong red hue forming across his face.
"You're such a child!" Kaede flung one of the throw pillows at the Uzumaki, knocking him off his feet.
"What did I do?" Naruto yelled.
"Don't look at me like that when I talk about sex," Kaede giggled.
"Leave me alone," he said, getting back up to his feet, "It's not something I talk about very often."
"But still, you had sex ed or the birds and the bees talk to get you over your giggly sex phase, didn't you?" Naruto shook his head, "You didn't? What did you teach you in Konoha?"
"If we did have sex ed, then I must've not been paying attention," Naruto thought back to all the times he'd fallen asleep in class.
"Don't worry about it, I'll teach you everything I know."
"Thank you," Naruto grinned. As he tried on his eighth and final shirt, his smile began to die. He slowly shifted his head to stare at Kaede when he finally understood what that statement meant, "What?"
"Put on the shirt!" Kaede cackled.
Naruto finally found a shirt that fit. It was a white oversized tee that fit him pretty well. He wore it with a pair of baggy pants that ran up to just above his ankles, but at least they fit. He threw her cloak on over the whole attire. It was a bit short, only coming up to his knees, but he liked the look of it on him, nonetheless. "I might have to get one of these for myself," he commented.
"It's not bad. It'd definitely look better than that bright orange hoodie you wear around all the time."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You're a shinobi too. A Leaf shinobi at that, you're supposed to be wearing like… black, green, navy-blue skin-tight clothing… not a bright orange hoodie with an even brighter blue undershirt."
"When you're as strong as I am, you don't need to worry about stealth. My fighting style is 'when they hit you, you get up and hit them back… just harder'."
"How's that fighting style working out for you?"
"I'm alive, aren't I?"
"Are you? What if this is all a dream?" Kaede quipped, rising from her seat on the couch and wandering over to the kitchen, "Or even worse… what if this is hell, and I'm your psychopomp here to take you to the gates of the underworld?"
"A psycho-who?"
She opened her fridge as she tried to explain what she meant, "A psychopomp… like a deity whose job is to come to you when you're about to die and lead you to the underworld when you eventually do. Like the Shinigami."
"Oh… I guess they're gonna have a lot of psychopomp-ing to do when the war starts." Naruto chuckled to himself whilst staring out the window at the roar coming from outside, "Kaede… do you fear death?"
She lifted her head from behind the refrigerator door. "Whoa! Where did that come from?"
"I don't know. This war and everything surrounding it just has me thinking."
"Why? Do you have family back in Konoha or something?" Kaede wondered, "Even if, you shouldn't really be worried for them since most of the war is expected to occur across the region between the Land of Iron and the Land of Lightning. No army would be stupid enough to invade Konoha… except Suna and Oto, of course, but look where that got them."
"No, I'm thinking about… me."
After minutes of perusal, Kaede finally grabbed a pair of apples from her fridge and tossed one to the Uzumaki, "You? You shouldn't be anywhere near the war, let alone thinking about it," she said. Naruto didn't respond. He just stood there, apple in one hand, the other in his pocket, staring out at the falling rain. "But to answer your question. No. Death is an inescapable certainty of life. The fact that we are alive, means that at some point we must die… so, no, I don't fear death."
"I guess."
.
.
.
"The rain is beautiful, isn't it?" Kaede asked, walking past Naruto and standing in front of the window. The falling rain, the thick wisps of fog slowly moving across the building's large window, the faint glimmers of moonlight piercing through the clouds and the fog to illuminate the room. "Let's spend the night here. Like, here. Right here. I can bring the futon down and set it up next to the window."
Naruto snapped out of his trance to look into her eyes. "I don't know, my teammates might get worried."
She wrapped herself around his arm, "Your teammates know where you are. They know who you're with. Plus, don't worry about them. Worry about me."
"…"
"You'll just be here for the night. It's one night. Tomorrow morning, I'll walk you back to your hotel before the fog even lifts."
Their moment was interrupted by a white cat walking across the window on a thin ledge. It was behind the window, being battered by the rain. It stopped in front of Naruto before giving itself a few clean licks. The buzzer went off. Someone downstairs was ringing for the Kiri kunoichi. "Expecting someone?"
"No, not really?" she replied walking over to the intercom. The white cat turned to smoke. Kaede held the button with her finger, "Hello?"
"Hey, can we talk to Naruto?"
"Who's this?"
"It's his teammate, Han."
Kaede turned to Naruto and mouthed, "Do you know him?", to which Naruto nodded. He wanted to hear what the jinchuuriki had to say, in case it was important, so Naruto began putting his shoes on. "We're coming down now… how did you get my address?" she wondered.
"Hi," Gaara's voice echoed back over the intercom.
That answered that.
XXX
It was a good thing the Sand shinobi had a near picture-perfect memory because what Han had to say was very important. Naruto and Kaede walked out through the glass doors and were greeted by a soaked Han, Yugito, and Gaara.
"What's up?"
"Naruto, we needed to tell you something about… our mission," Han explained, "We need you back at the hotel, when are you getting back?"
Naruto glanced at Kaede, who'd once again, wrapped herself around the Uzumaki's arm, holding onto his bicep for dear life. He returned to his teammates, "I was thinking of spending the night here, actually."
"Spending the…" Han was interrupted by Yugito's arm pulling him back.
She jumped in front of him to say, "It's okay, but can Kaede step inside for a minute while we talk to you about what we had in mind for tomorrow?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Huh?" Kaede looked up at him.
"It's important. Can you go wait in the lobby for a minute or two?" Naruto asked. She puffed out her cheeks and after a second of thought, she decided she'll go inside and wait for him.
The glass door slowly closed behind her.
"We found the Three-Tails," Yugito said outright.
"What?"
"Well, we haven't found it per se, we've just pinpointed where it's most likely to be," she corrected herself, "It's a few hours of here on the ruins of what used to be Uzushiogakure."
"Uzushio? How do you guys know?"
"Each tailed beast has a unique ability that it can channel through itself and its jinchuuriki for self-preservation. Shukaku has magnet release jutsu and the ability to control sand. For me, Matatabi, allows me to create blue flames that burn hotter than regular fire style. For Han, Kokuo can use steam release jutsu and charge techniques. For you, Kurama gives you regenerative abilities and allows you to feed off negative emotions. The Three-Tails' abilities are that it can create coral, generate large amounts of water and waves, as well as create a hallucinogenic mist."
"You're just saying words to me right now," Naruto replied.
"Whenever people try to approach Uzushio, they get turned back by massive waves, killed by large whirlpools, or get turned around my mist so thick they can't even see themselves in it. All characteristics that lead me to assume that the Mizukage is hiding the Three-Tails in Uzushio, either to preserve its ruins or to keep whatever they're doing there a secret," Yugito explained.
"So, what's the plan then?"
"Tomorrow, Han and I are going west until we find the Three-Tails just to make sure it's there. If it is, we'll come back and get you, kids…"
"And then?"
"Gaara specialises in large-scale sealing techniques, Fuu specialises in barriers and personal sealing jutsu. We're planning to seal the Three-Tails in Hinata."
Naruto looked at them like they were crazy, "We're going to make Hinata a jinchuuriki?" Yugito nodded. Han nodded. Gaara shrugged. "No? No! That's a horrible idea. We can't put that much of a burden on her. No! We've lived our whole lives with these things inside of us, we've gotten used to them and they still ruin our lives, imagine what it'll be like to have lived as yourself for sixteen years and then one day, you have an entirely new presence inside of you."
"We've talked to her about it," Yugito said, "There's no talking her out of it."
"Does she know that she'll be stuck with it forever? If it's removed from her at any point in her life, she'll die."
"Yes, yes, exactly what you're telling us now is what we said to her," Yugito explained, "We gave her the whole lecture about how the tailed beast's veins will interlock with hers, its chakra pathways and her own will become one. She'll have its voice in her head for the rest of her life."
"She said that she has to do this," Gaara said, "According to her, maybe this is why we found her that day in the forest. Utakata didn't die on the island, Naruto. Somehow, they captured him and took him back to their hideout. We've lost the Six-Tails. We don't know where Roshi is. And Killer B is not on our side, so we can't protect him. We can't afford to lose the Three-Tails, so I think it's a gamble worth taking."
"What about Hotaru?"
"What about her?" Yugito asked.
"Can't we seal the Three-Tails in her?"
"She said she wants the Six-Tails. Once we've freed it from wherever the Akatsuki have it held up, it's better to seal it in someone who it knows than in some random person," Han explained.
"The whole point of this mission was to stop others from experiencing the pain of being a jinchuuriki and now here we are creating two more, dattebayo?"
"You said it yourself… 'the pain of being a jinchuuriki'. Hinata and Hotaru are volunteers. They'll be better prepared to take on the burden of being the jinchuuriki of the Three-Tails and Six-Tails than any child born in the Hidden Mist," Gaara tried to explain.
"Someone's coming," Yugito said.
The glass door swung open, "Is everything okay? I heard shouting?" Kaede popped her head out. She scanned the scene for a moment. She glared at Yugito, then at Han, and finally at Gaara. "Naruto… it's getting cold. You wanna come inside?" she asked.
"Yeah," Naruto replied.
"We'll see you tomorrow then?" Yugito asked.
"Yeah… goodnight."
"Bye-bye," Kaede bid the jinchuuriki farewell. She closed the door behind him.
XXX
"I guess, now it's my turn to ask you, what happened back there?" Kaede said, locking the door to her room and turning to Naruto, who was kicking his sandals off. The Uzumaki was so deep in thought that even when he was staring at the younger kunoichi, his gaze was locked onto something a thousand yards behind her. "Naruto?"
His eyes shifted to stare into hers.
"I don't wanna talk about it," Naruto replied.
She placed her hands on either side of his face, lightly pressing her fingers against his jaw. "I know there's something you need to get off your chest. So, just tell me what it is, and I can help you get through this."
Naruto brushed her hands away. "Kaede, I really don't wanna talk about it," he said before making his way back over to the large window and pressing his hand against the metallic window frames.
Figuring this was a better time than any, Kaede went upstairs and began dragging pieces of her futon down to the living room and setting them up in front of the window. Naruto just watched her, in the corner of his eye, as she moved between the two sections of the apartment. At first, she was bubbly and full of energy as she went up the ladder and came down with the pillows. The same applied as she scaled the ladder once again and came back with the first blanket, less so when she came down with the second blanket. Finally, when she returned with the third blanket, she took a moment to double over and breathe.
"You need some help?"
"Yes, please."
When they finally retrieved the futon and finished preparing their resting place for the night, Kaede summoned him onto the bed by tapping it repeatedly.
Naruto let out a soft sigh before falling onto her futon.
She covered him up in duvets and blankets before wrapping her limbs around him like a constrictor. Naruto wrapped one arm around her, allowing the woman to nestle herself on his muscular chest.
They held that position for what felt like hours.
Naruto staring out the window at the torrent of rain coming down on them.
Kaede, eyes closed, warming herself with Naruto's presence.
.
.
.
For a moment, it felt like they were one. The rain went quiet in his mind. All he could hear were the soothing sounds of her rhythmic breathing. Every so often, he'd feel her twitch randomly, feel the warmth of her breath on his chest, and feel the rising and lowering of her breasts as she pressed them against the side of his torso.
He knew she was still awake because she continually ran her fingers along his jawline, occasionally stopping to caress the grooves of his whiskers. This still felt so weird to Naruto. He wasn't used to being this close to other people, let alone a woman. At first, his mind was cloudy because of the news that Hinata was about to be a jinchuuriki. But now, his mind was cloudy because he had no idea what he was supposed to do. Should he hold her? Should he kiss her? Should he just go to sleep? How was he supposed to sleep with her wrapped around her like this? She was so small, what if he rolled over and crushed her?
"You're leaving soon, aren't you," Kaede's statement derailed his train of thought. He looked at her. Her eyes were still closed.
"Yeah." There was a lot more to it than that, but Naruto felt like that was more than enough information for her. She dug her head deeper into his chest and clutched at his cloak. Now, he was more confused than ever. When she started snuffling, he decided to wrap both arms around her in a makeshift hug. Even with her eyes closed, tears were starting to stream out. He gave her rhythmic pats on the back to calm her down. "What's wrong?"
She shook her head, wiping some of the tears off onto Naruto. "Nothing… it's just that for the first time in a long time, I think I've found true happiness. Happiness I don't know if I'll ever feel again. I just wish this moment could last forever. You, me, and this rain."
"… Yeah, I wish it could too."
"I lost my parents when I was five," she admitted, "They died right in front of me… trying to protect me during the Kiri Civil War."
"Oh. What happened?"
"A lot of young children, and civilians in general, were killed or left abandoned during the civil war by the followers of Yagura, our old Mizukage. If you were a revolutionist… or even if you weren't one but someone had accused you of being one… you were tortured and killed. Once you were beaten so badly that you couldn't fend for yourself, they dragged you out onto the streets, threw you onto a pile of people who were in the same position as you, and then burnt you alive. Every Sunday, the screams could be heard ringing throughout the village."
Naruto wasn't good at comforting people. He didn't even know how he was supposed to respond to that.
"I had to become a shinobi very quickly, at a young age. I had to do it to survive. I've done a lot of things I regret to this day, things that I have to take with me until I die, and all these years I've had to hide it under a thin veil of lies, but I'm glad I met you. I don't know why, but with you, I feel like I can be vulnerable. You make me feel like it's okay to be weak," she admitted.
Naruto wiped the tears from her face. "It's okay. I understand your pain to some extent. I also had a rough childhood growing up, which is why I eventually left my home village. The Hidden Leaf Village didn't really like me. My parents died when I was very young, I don't even remember their faces, so I was taken care of by the Third Hokage and my teacher, Iruka-Sensei, but they had their own things and missions to do. For days at a time, I'd be left alone to my own devices. I never had any friends or anyone to talk to. The adults in my village didn't want anything to do with me… the children were never allowed to go anywhere near me. It wasn't uncommon for me to go months without speaking to another human being. I was so lonely… and so confused. I stayed up every night wondering why. What had I done to deserve this? Shopkeepers wouldn't sell me clothes or food, and when they would it'd be double the original price. Kids wouldn't play with me at school. No one would teach me how to cook, so I spent all my allowance money on ramen because it was the only thing I knew how to prepare. I had to resort to pranks and annoying random people just for a sliver of attention…"
"Did you ever find out why they hated you so much?" Kaede wondered.
.
.
.
"No. I don't think I ever want to either," Naruto lied.
Kaede chuckled, "Damn, I guess we were both just dealt a bad hand of cards then, huh? Why was it we who had to suffer for all those years? If only you were born in Kiri, or maybe if I was born in Konoha… maybe then you could've eased my pain and I could've eased yours. We could've been lonely together forever."
That same statement applied to Naruto and Gaara. It also applied to Naruto and Yugito. And Roshi. And Han. And Utakata. And Fuu. And Killer B. It was the first Hokage's fault. The First Hokage, the First Raikage, the First Mizukage, the First Kazekage, and the First Tsuchikage. Their lack of foresight in dividing the tailed beasts amongst their villages knowing full well that their citizens would not want to associate with creatures that could destroy entire towns is what led to this situation. Then again, who was Naruto to judge? Hindsight is 20/20, after all, who would've known that this is what it would come to? Plus, what about Kaede, Hotaru, and Hinata? They weren't jinchuuriki? What about Sasuke? What then for them? What of their suffering?
"You should come with us. Leave with us," Naruto offered.
"You know I can't do that."
"Neither could I, but I did," he tried to convince her, "I'm wanted by my village. Hundreds of people are, but as you said yourself, the Hidden Villages are way too preoccupied to worry about one shinobi defecting."
"I can't. You know that if I could, I would, but I can't. The Mizukage needs me. I am very important to her. So important that it wouldn't surprise me if she personally chased after me to the ends of the earth."
"Why?"
"… Because I was dealt this bad hand in life," Kaede replied. "Now then, can we get back to cuddling… and sleeping… I don't want to talk about this anymore."
"Sure," Naruto said, wrapping his arms around her.
"And since you're leaving soon, are you still down to go to the beach tomorrow? We can even go shopping for some swim trunks beforehand."
"That sounds like a good idea to me," Naruto smirked.
"Then it's a date."