Yanicchi: I'll see what I can do for you. But it might not be what you think…
Guest: My trips get better thanks to smartphones, 3D's, and learning to tune them out. To continue with Rex's adventure to abuela's because you asked for more Rex torture.
PokeKing: This is sort of what you wanted. Hope it's okay.
I do not own.
Rex snuggled under the comforter. Just as he started to drift into unconsciousness he felt something cold slither up his back.
"Aiyee!" He squealed. He grabbed the cold object and realized they were feet... small little feet.
"Daaaad!" A tired little voice whined.
"Raffy, what are you doing?" Rex said through his teeth.
"My feet were cold." He said sleepily.
"What's going on over there?" A soft whisper came from across the hotel room.
"Dad, woke me up." Rafael replied.
"Me? Who stuck their pies fríos* up my back?" Rex complained.
"Rex, Rafael go to sleep. I'm driving in the morning and I need my sleep." Circe said in a tone that did not allow for arguing.
Rafael immediately huddled under the covers and started snoring. Rex tried to pull the covers over him but realized that his son had hogged most of it. He lightly tugged at the corner. Rafael would not budge. Rex gave a hard tug. The covers along with Rafael flew at him. The force knocked him off the bed.
"Rex!" A voice hissed at him in the dark.
Rex didn't bother to answer or get up. He reached up, pulled a pillow down, and went back to sleep on the floor.
0o0
Rex felt something poking him. He turned on his side. He felt more jabs.
"Dad… dad… dad… daddy… daddy… dad, daaaad…daaaaaad…dad…daddy…" A sing song voice accompanied the pokes.
"WHAT!" Rex's head shot up. He glared at his now frightened son.
"Mommy!" Rafael ran for his mother.
"No, no, no, daddy's sorry." Rex scrambled up off the floor. He grabbed Rafael and cupped his hand over his mouth.
Luckily, Circe was in the shower and didn't hear anything. Violeta, however, did.
"Dad, you shouldn't yell at Rafael. Mom told us to wake you up." She clucked her tongue and shook her head.
"Yeah, well, it was a rough night." He looked at his daughter. He was still holding Rafael around the waist with his hand over his mouth. "Aw, yuk!" He let go of Rafael when his son licked his hand. Rafael ran to Violeta and buried his head in her lap.
"It's okay, hermano. It's okay. Daddy's just cranky." She said soothingly. She looked at her dad disapprovingly.
"Okay, how about we don't let mommy know about this." Rex said rubbing his neck.
"I don't know…," Violeta said slowly. "Rafael's pretty distraught." As if on cue, Rafael let out a sob.
"How about this, I will get both of you ice cream along the way?" Rex bargained.
"Double scoop?" Violeta asked.
"With sprinkles!" Rafael's muffle voice came from Violeta's lap.
"Yeah sure." Rex looked at the bathroom nervously. The shower had turned off.
"Okay." Both the kids chorused.
Circe opened the door to the bathroom. She looked at her husband and her kids.
"What's going on?" She asked.
"Nothing." They all replied.
She looked skeptically at them but said nothing.
"Well, let's get going. We have a long drive ahead," was the only thing she said.
"Oh, we should stop for some ice cream along the way…" Rex said off-handedly.
Violeta and Rafael exchanged winks.
0o0
After a quick breakfast and paying for damages, they piled into the car. Circe got into the driver's seat. Rex sat in the passenger side. The drive was uneventful. Rex began dozing off. Then he felt something cold and wet on his ear.
"Ack!" He yelped.
"What?" Circe gave him a cursory glance.
"What is this?" He wiped his ear. It was a spitball. He turned to look at the kids in the back.
They were both looking out the window innocently. Rex glared at them.
Violeta turned and looked at him blankly. "Something wrong, dad?"
Rex debated whether he should say anything when Rafael jumped in.
"Can we get ice cream now?" He asked brightly.
Rex's face pulled into a frown. He was about to tell them off.
"There's an ice cream shop right here." Circe said as she pulled into a parking lot. Rex sighed. It didn't look like he was going to win today.
The kids shot out of the car and into the shop. Rex went in after them.
"I want the double fudge mint chocolate cookie ice cream with rainbow sprinkles on a cone." Rafael peered over the counter. Then as an afterthought added, "Please."
"Can I have a double scoop of the strawberry cheesecake swirl with chocolate sprinkles in a cup, please?" Violeta asked politely.
The man behind the counter started on their order. Rex pulled out his wallet as Circe walked in.
"Did you order for me?" She asked.
"Uh, did you want anything?" He looked at her.
"Well, if we're getting ice cream…" She turned to the man behind the counter. "Can you add vanilla chocolate chips on a sugar cone to those orders, please?"
"And a dulce de leche, too" Rex jumped in.
"Cup or cone?" The man asked.
"Surprise me." Rex answered dryly.
The family stepped out with their cones and sat on some benched eating their ice cream in silence.
"How much longer to abuela's?" Rafael asked when he finished devouring his cone.
Rex checked the GPS on his phone. "Without traffic, 3 more hours."
"Three more?" The children groaned.
"That's not so bad." Circe told them. "We'll be there in no time. Abuela will probably have enchiladas, burritos, tamales, and all sorts of yummy food waiting for us."
"Yeah!" Rafael smiled.
"In the meantime we'll just listen to some music, play some more games…"
"No games!" Rex interpreted.
"Okay, we'll listen to some music…" Circe looked at her husband for other ideas.
"Take a nap?" He offered.
Circe rolled her eyes, "Some of us can take a nap."
"Sounds like a plan." Rex crumpled up his tissue and threw it in the trash. "Let's vamos!"
Everyone piled back into the car. Again with Circe at the wheel, there were no incidents until they got to the border.
"Man, this line is long." Rex commented.
"I know, nothing to do but wait." Circe leaned back and put the car in park.
"Aww, I want to go!" Rafael whined.
"Be patient, sweetie." Circe said firmly.
Rafael sat back with a pout.
Rex slumped back into his seat as well. He hated waiting too.
"Hey, dad? I think someone's in trouble over there." Violeta tugged on her dad's sleeve.
Rex spun around and looked where Violeta was pointing. Sure enough the car was rocking back and forth.
"I'll go have a look." Rex said eagerly.
"I wouldn't. Let the border patrol take care of it." Circe put a restraining hand on her husband.
"Don't worry. I'm a certified hero." Rex gave her his famous grin before hopping out of the car.
"More like a certifiable hero." Circe muttered under her breath.
"What does that mean?" Rafael asked.
"Nothing, sweetie. But we better pull out the emergency Rex kit." She told Violeta.
Violeta nodded and reached over to the back seat. She pulled out a small duffle bag.
"Ooo, ooo, can I work the fire extinguisher this time?" Rafael asked excitedly.
"No, sweetie, if daddy's on fire, mommy will handle it. You just make sure the ice pack is ready.
"Awww, I never get to have any fun." Rafael crossed his arms and made his pouty face.
Circe smiled slightly before turning her attention back to her husband. Her smile faded when she noticed that a tentacle had popped out of the window of the car and was wrapped around Rex and was twirling him around like a baton.
"Violeta, hand me the stun stick." She told her daughter. Violeta rummaged through the kit and pulled out an innocuous thin cylinder about the size of her hand. She handed it to her mother. "Stay in the car, kids." Circe jumped out of the car and ran to help Rex.
The kids watched the show.
"Do we have any popcorn?" Violeta asked.
"I have some in my pocket." Rafael offered her.
"Eww, why do you have popcorn in your pocket?"
"There was a free bowl in the hotel lobby so I took some." He took a piece and popped it into his mouth. "Mmmm," He gave Violeta a handful.
Violeta wrinkled her nose at it. There were pieces of tissue and pocket lint in it. "No, thanks, hermano."
Rafael shrugged and shoved the handful into his mouth. They watched the chaos outside as their parents fought the apparent EVO.
0o0
They drove silently down the dusty unpaved road. Violeta peeked at her parents from the corner of her eye. They both looked disheveled and tired.
"So why did that man go EVO?" Rafael piped up.
Both parents remained silent.
"I thought it was cool when the plant guy threw that car with his vines." Rafael continued when no one answered him. "Dad, how come you couldn't cut the plant? Do you think they were mad that you trashed the booths?"
Rex sighed. "Look Raffy, let's just say don't do drugs. Ever. And Uncle Six will take care of all the damages."
"Oh yeah, Uncle Six showing up was cool. He just dropped right out of the sky with his swords and then… wham, bam!" Rafael started to imitate what he saw.
"Yeah, it was pretty cool." Violeta agreed.
"Well, let's forget all about that and try to enjoy the rest of our vacation." Circe said loudly when she saw that Rex was getting annoyed.
"Are we there yet?" Rafael asked.
"Almost." Circe replied.
"Oh boy, I can't wait. Do you think Federico will be there? I want him to show me some more soccer moves." Rafael said excitedly.
"I hope not." Rex muttered. Because if Federico was there, then so would Annie, which meant he would spend the vacation dodging falling objects.
"Look, we're passing through the town." Circe pointed outside.
The kids pressed their faces against the window to stare at the sights.
"Oh, can we go to the gift shop while we're here?" Violeta asked.
"Of course." Circe agreed.
"Girls, always shopping. Am I right?" Rex joked. He held out his fist for Rafael to bump. Rafael looked at his father curiously. "You always shop for those plastic dolls that you won't let me play with." He reminded his father.
"Those are action figures and they are collectables." Rex said indignantly.
"And you shop for those black Frisbees." Violeta added.
"First of all those are vinyl records and those are also collectables."
"Don't forget shopping for comic books." Circe chimed in.
"Ok, first of all I am not shopping. I am investing my money." Rex explained.
"You can invest the money in me." Rafael said innocently.
Everyone laughed as they headed to abuela's.
Soon they could see the compound rise over the horizon.
"Look! There it is!" Rafael said excitedly.
"Yup." Rex said with relief.
The minivan drove through the open gates. The kids jumped out as soon as the car pulled to a stop.
"Abuela!" They ran into the old woman's waiting arms.
"Hey, guys easy on abuela." Circe admonish.
Abuela laughed. "It's okay. I still have strength left for hugs. Is that mi cabeza de trapo?"
Rex blushed. "Hello abuela."
Circe snickered as she walked passed him.
"Hey, I don't remember that, okay?" Rex mumbled to her.
"Abuela made a small snack for you before dinner. Come in and enjoy." She motioned for them to enter the house.
"Good grief, she probably made enough tamales to circle the earth… twice." Circe whispered to Rex."
"That's how you know they love you." Rex replied draping his arm around Circe. "And that road trip wasn't that bad.
"I suppose if you don't count the accidents, destruction of property, yelling, screaming, crying, whining, and EVO attack… then, yeah, it wasn't so bad." Circe replied.
"Right. It will be something they will remember years from now." Rex nodded.
"In coming!" Someone yelled.
Rex looked up just in time to get a soccer ball straight in the face. He was knocked flat on his back.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. The ball just jumped right out of my hands." A woman's voice fretted.
Rex sighed still with eyes shut. "Hello, Annie. I guess Federico is here too."
"Well of course he is, silly. Why would I come down here without him… although abuela's burritos are to die for. You want to try some?"
Rex felt something wet on his face.
"Oops, clumsy me. I didn't mean to drip that…"
"Hot sauce!" Rex jumped up and ran to the well. He dunked his head into the bucket of water trying to stop the burn from the infamous sauce.
"Yup, we definitely won't forget this anytime soon." Circe shook her head and went to see if she could help Rex.
pies fríos = cold feet
mi cabeza de trapo=my rag head (Rex's nick name when he was young because he wore underwear on his heat and acted out luchadores movies.)