Friday May 13th
"I don't feel good" says Sakura
"things will get worse before they get better Sakura, you're on a high dose, I just wish we could have saved your eyes" says Hanna
"is my head supposed to feel like it's about to explode" asks Sakura
"which part of your head" asks Chase hugging Sakura
"both sides" says Sakura
"the pressure is building, that's a good thing, Agatha is going to have to drill to lower the pressure" says Hanna
"isn't increased pressure bad" asks Chase
"no, it's actually a good sign, it's the same path my sister's ocular cancer took when it started remission, the cancer didn't have a firm hold on the brain, the pressure is caused by the cancer disintegrating, the eyes were it's host, without that there can't be a hold" says Hanna
"is paralysis still possible" asks Chase
"it is likely yes, though depending on the damage we won't know to what extent, it could be she needs a wheelchair or it might paralyze different parts of her body, it presents differently in different people, she will almost certainly survive this, the question is how long will it take to recover and will paralysis be permanent, it wasn't for my sister, one-third of every ocular cancer to brain metastasis patients I have treated as a graduating cancer treatment nurse have had what I call early onset remission paralysis, the other two-thirds are one extreme or the other with no obvious links with treatment order or medications prescribed, all but two are still alive, the chances of her being completely paralyzed is slim" says Hanna as Agatha walks in
"how's it going Sakura" asks Agatha
"painful" says Sakura as her eyes waver
"she's not looking good doc" says Chase
"pressure and eye wonkiness" asks Agatha
"yeah, for about the last ten minutes" says Chase
"Hanna get her to the OR right now, I'll prep" says Agatha
After the operation
"what happened, why does she look ashen" asks Chase as Sakura is laid back in her hospital bed
"I've got good news and bad news chase" says Hanna
"is she dying" asks Chase
"no but she is in a coma, the pressure was too much and caused a bleed, we should have caught it sooner, her heartrate is fine, actually a little high for a coma but not her oxygen levels, the good news is she won't need a full dose of chemo anymore, we did a scan while we had her and its completely gone, no sign anywhere that she'd even had cancer" says Hanna
"did she cause this by waiting so long" asks Chase
"in a way yes, honestly though this likely would have happened any time they attempted to treat it, I'm the in the world when it comes to cancer treatments, to be honest no surgeon or doctor would have been able to handle her case, unfortunately her doctor has been vastly under diagnosing her, she has six verifiable conditions that are genuinely life threatening, she's diabetic, she has a seizure disorder, she has severe iron and magnesium deficiencies and she has three broken ribs, it is a genuine miracle she's even alive, any one of these SHOULD have killed her Chase, there is legitimately no logical reason that she could have all six of these and be alive, the only thing that makes sense to me is the cancer, the cancer could have saved her life" says Agatha
"is that possible" asks Chase
"with cancer anything is possible, for all we know she had an eye infection that somehow seeded the cancer, it is not known how most cancers start, only that they exist and the victims can't ever be predicted, not even a detailed family history of cancer could lead to any inkling, Sakura's family has next to no family history of illness, cancer or anything more than a bad cold, nothing like this, you want to create a family around her correct" says Hanna
"yeah, why is there going to be a problem that stops her because she seemed very intent on having a family with me" says Chase
"I'm not saying she doesn't want a family Chase, if I've learned anything from my sister's relationship with one of the most famous musicians in the world it's that when you're afraid of hurting someone you lie, to protect yourself" says Hanna
"so what you're saying is she was afraid to love me" asks Chase
"absolutely not, what I'm saying is she loves you to death, the hard part for her is that death part, she was told that she had less than a year to live, she was afraid that if you and her hit it off that she'd die before she realized just how in love with you she was, in short she was afraid of traumatizing you if she suddenly passed away, she was attempting to save you not protect herself" says Hanna
"so you're saying she wouldn't want a family with me" asks Chase
"oh quite the opposite actually but she will deny herself that happiness so long as she has the spectre of death hanging over her, she'd rather be remembered as your girlfriend, not as the girl who died leaving you to raise your guy's children alone" says Hanna
"Quinn said Lacy and Breanna would be here today, are they arriving today or do I not get to know that" asks Chase
"I don't care what Nicole tells you but I will protect my little sister with my life, Lacy latched onto Bre after our parents died in a plane crash a few years back that made national headlines, Lacy loves Bre to her core but her fans hate Bre, and her and her sister do everything together, it's been a hard few years for Bre and that concert bombing made it ten times harder for her" says Hanna
"are they in a poly relationship" asks Chase
"no, though not for lack of Bre trying, she loves them more than her own family, that concert bombing was designed to get Bre to somehow confirm one of the many conspiracy theories surrounding her cancer hospital stay when she was six, people would rather convince themselves she's gay because either our parents groomed her to be such or that I did the grooming, neither is true but Lacy and Sabrina's fans don't believe in the truth, they were basically brainwashed into believing that being gay at SIX is impossible, that Bre being sub five foot at twenty-seven is an attempt to sexualize children, they have extremely toxic fans, as such they're bringing all their important belongings and having their mansion basically destroyed, they've requested to live here on the property and have essentially killed their careers to get away from the toxicity" says Hanna
"do you think Quinn will let them" asks Chase
"I don't know, letting them live here wouldn't allow the current security to be lowered, not exactly enticing when there is a hospital on the property" says Hanna
"Quinn also said Sakura said there was a 'girl' out there for her somewhere, how can Sakura love me if she's looking for a girl" says Chase
"you weren't on the property when she said that, why would she possibly admit she loved you in front of Zoey, she's low key terrified and in awe of her, think about it Chase, you were in New York, to her that's a billion miles away, in her eyes there was no point in admitting she had feelings for you, it wouldn't have done her any good, confidence is everything to her, if she's not confident in her choices she doesn't sleep well, it ruins her appetite, by lying to herself and the others in the room she makes herself comfortable" says Hanna
"how long will she be in a coma" asks Chase
"at minimum a few hours, though it's likely to be a few days, there was quite a bit of blood, being vulnerable around you is hard for her, it adds to the issue, she might even try and fake it so you cuddle her close, technically it's against protocol for you to be cuddling her and to have the tiny bed you sleep in connected to hers, I'm almost certain you will try to have sex with her, she is as well" says Hanna
"why would you say that, what kind of person does that" says Chase offended
"because she asked us not to stop you from trying, even if she's in a coma, she's literally risking her father walking in on that, she literally doesn't care, if you want to, she said as long as you wear a 'sleeve' and properly warm that area up she could care less, she wants you that badly, I caught her trying last night while you were asleep, which is why she told us not to stop you" says Hanna
"so if it happened she wouldn't let her father call the cops on me" asks Chase
"I'm almost certain he knows her intentions, yesterday he gave me the official family medical record and made a point of saying 'she's different, you might not like or agree with what she does', basically implying he's caught her accidentally in scenarios a father should never see his daughter in" says Hanna
"ok can I just cuddle her for a bit, alone" says Chase
"let us know if anything happens with her heartrate" says Hanna as they leave
25 minutes later as Kazu walks in
"are you nervous too" asks Chase
"no, she's strong, she will make it through this, you should know something about her" says Kazu
"is this something she would tell me herself" asks Chase
"no but not for the reason you think, when she was little she had a crush on this boy named Arron, aside from his hair he was very traditional Japanese, it was sixth grade and she'd gotten the courage to ask him out, this bully saw and assumed he made her ask him out, the bully protected the girls from creeps, the bully destroyed his confidence and a few days later he was dead, she said that when she died she'd die single so she could marry him in heaven, then she met you and everything changed" says Kazu
"what's the point of telling me this" asks Chase
"it scares her to love someone as much as she loved Arron, she's afraid she can't love someone like that again, that someone will take you from her too, she's always been top of her class, both mentally and physically, she only started wearing dresses because of you" says Kazu
"she'd asked Hanna, her nurse, to not stop me from making love to her if she was in a coma, even though it's against protocol, would you try and have me arrested if I did that" says Chase
"it's her body Chase, all that matters to me is consent, her telling her nurse to not intervene is consent in and of itself, she's not conventional Chase, don't expect her to conform to any standards or views you have of her based on knowing her as a friend, being her boyfriend is a totally different world, she will expect you to have desires" says Kazu
"have you seen her naked" asks Chase seriously
"not because I wanted to, much like a child, being noisy is normal for her, one day she was quiet, she's only quiet when she's trying to hide something, she can be clumsy and has broken plates in the past, likely due to her seizures but she didn't understand them, she thought it was her fault, anyway I'd walked in on her making out with pillow you, she was naked, it was never my intention to see my grown daughter that way, I'd said her name and she squealed, I'd given her guidelines, like texting me or putting a note on the door, I have never hit her nor have I ever touched her inappropriately, the only reason I opened her door without knocking is because like I said, when she's quiet she's usually hiding something" says Kazu
"she has a pillow of me" asks Chase mortified
"complete with toy male organs, she made it herself, along with clothes for it, like I said she's not normal" says Kazu
"so she's not a virgin" asks Chase
"that depends on your point of view, from hers toys don't count and that a girl only looses their virginity after another human makes love to them, again she's not normal, she's quite open with me about her views, the only other time she's been with anyone is Nicole a few years back, the first month or so that girls were allowed here, Sakura says it never went far, mostly making out and touching, not inside her like she wants with you, They'd used each other as preparation, Nicole for Dana and Sakura for you if it happened" says Kazu
"so you seriously won't be mad if I do Sakura while she's in a coma like she clearly wants" asks Chase
"it's her body Chase, it's not up to me, consent is all that matters in my eyes, though it's a shame she won't be able to see you do her, honestly she'd worked herself up quite a bit about looking into your eyes the first time you made love to her and I hate to see her sad" says Kazu
"Quinn said she's working on some sort of audio/video thing that would allow Sakura to see as if she had her eyes, it got Sakura excited when Quinn said she had a working first prototype" says Chase
"what like a computer eye or something" asks Kazu
"all I know is Sakura was excited and Quinn loves helping people" says Chase