Chapter 12

When Darcy awakes at dawn his beloved is still asleep, and he watches her sleep with intense happiness, feeling his heart swell just seeing her in total relaxation, her body spread out over the bed in boneless grace. The knowledge that from now on, they can be together like this every single morning and evening gives him a little thrill. He restrains himself from stroking her bare breast, it looks so tantalizing, so warm, so soft.

As he leaves the bed, forced by his need to use the privy, her hand reaches out after him, but he really needs to go, he will be right back. When he returns, she is waiting for him, wide awake, smiling. He crawls in beside her, and they relish their togetherness, unable to refrain from touching each other, starting slowly, but with rising ardour. Elizabeth excuses herself to visit the privy herself, and when she comes back there is no stopping them, before long they are exploring their new field of education again, with gusto.

This time, Darcy doesn't fall asleep instantly.

Realising they are in their wedding bed, he says: 'Good morning, Mrs Darcy.'

Apparently she is not sated at all, yet, for she doesn't just smile at him, but nuzzles him as well, stroking his naked body with leftover heat, saying: 'Good morning to you too, Mr Darcy.'

Oh, that still has his attention instantly, or is it her hand on his thigh? No, nothing happens down there, this excitement is purely in his mind, he's a total slave to that perky tone of hers.

'You really do react to that,' she observes with a fond smile, 'that's just so endearing! Like seeing you sleep, I thought I'd melt on the spot, you looked so tranquil. I hope I'm not the one putting such strain on you by day.'

He shakes his head, and says: 'I'm sure I'll look as relaxed as that all day when we've been married for six months. Unless Georgiana really starts dating an Italian pianist.

I owe you an apology for falling asleep on you like that yesterday night. That was very un-gentleman like.'

'Apology accepted, I was worn out myself, I didn't look at you very long before I fell asleep with an arm and a leg around you. What's this about Georgiana dating an Italian pianist?'

Her heat seems to have waned now, his own is totally gone, but he nonetheless feels like stroking her hair, running his hand through her long straight tresses, the first time he has actually looked at her with her hair down. It is a magnificent sight.

Languidly he replies: 'It's a joke between us, she asked me whether I would be mad if she didn't marry at all, or someone below her, and I told her she could marry a Russian pianist if he really cared about her. She was certainly interested in marrying a pianist, but preferred an Italian.'

'And her current master isn't an Italian?'

Darcy shakes his head: 'Nor a Russian, he's a young and rather good-looking Englishman, but very mild tempered, and Georgie entrusted me with the knowledge that she didn't like docile men. She said she was a true Darcy, and needed a man with backbone. I haven't given up hope that she'll meet a nice gentleman, though.'

'Imagine her saying that,' Elizabeth says fondly, 'I thought she was shy, but she had firm opinions on Miss Bingley as well, and on several more interesting subjects. That must be a real comfort to you, having your sister turn out observant and rather assertive.'

'It is now, but she wasn't docile for nothing, I'm afraid I was too strict with her. I liked her easy to handle, but after Hunsford I looked at her with other eyes, and became afraid she might be easy to take advantage of, having so little will of her own.'

Elizabeth squeezes him tightly and says: 'Don't take everything upon yourself, Fitzwilliam! You cannot suppress someone's spirit like that, it would come out one way or the other. She most likely was naturally docile, and is now growing up with self-confidence, and that is because she trusts you. You are a good and loving brother, not some kind of tyrant.'

Then she looks him straight in the eye and adds: 'Stop berating yourself so, you really weren't as bad as you say, you just were reserved among strangers. Those Hertfordshire people can silence me in a minute, too. My father never goes out because of them. Actually, he's worse than you in being disdainful, but I was always his favourite so it never bothered me. You slighted me, and I felt insulted. My reproofs were very personal, Fitzwilliam, and mostly hurt pride.'

'I just hope you are right, Elizabeth. I have been so very sorry for having slighted you, I have regretted the first impression I made on you for such a very long time. I love you so much.'

It is so good to fondle her and kiss her without his ardour getting in the way.

'And I just hope Mrs Reynolds will approve of me, she was very determined that no lady was good enough for her master.'

Darcy nibbles her earlobe, and says: 'Once she sees me totally smitten and always fondling you, she'll wonder how I managed to act so normal for all those years, and feel sorry for you.'

Shaking her head at this totally different Darcy, Elizabeth first takes her time to stroke his face, his hair, and his chest once more, then asks: 'Will we see Georgiana before we leave? I feel bad for having driven her out of her own home.'

'We will, I've arranged to have breakfast together, a very late breakfast, and then we can talk a little until the diamonds have been fetched by the banker. Plenty of time to talk, I'd say.'

Then on impulse he asks: 'Will you help me dress? I'm used to having a valet.'

She looks at him intently, not sure whether he is serious or joking at her expense, and replies: 'I'm going to take every opportunity to touch you, so yes. But you're not going to wear one of those strangler coats today, or during our entire honeymoon, are you? I thought we were going to be alone, mostly?'

'I thought you liked seeing me well-dressed?' he replies, stoking up the fire a little.

Oh, I like seeing you dressed like a dandy,' she replies, still serious, 'and I like dressing you, and I like undressing you even more, but when we are alone I want to put my hand under your shirt whenever I feel like it. And that won't work if your coat is so tight I have to sit on your chest to get the buttons closed.'

Then she looks at him with her eyes narrowed: 'You're not serious, you're having me on!'

'Of course I am, how can I climb hills with you, or catch trout with you or teach you how to ride a horse if I cannot move my arms or even breathe?'

'I can ride,' Elizabeth observes, 'I just don't like horses. Or riding.'

'You'll like riding with me,' Darcy states, 'I have good horses.'

Does Elizabeth look positively afraid now? 'I'm not going to force you to ride, Elizabeth,' he says quickly, 'not if you're afraid to. I thought you merely found them annoying, or smelly.'

'If I objected to the smell of horse, I would certainly not have married you, Fitzwilliam. You always smell slightly of horse. Well, not now, but when you're in the country. I like it when you have horse in your personal scent. And anyway, do your horses smell less than my father's?'

She's right, his horses do smell the same as anyone else's, but it's good to know she doesn't object to him having a whiff of horse about him. But now she's about to tell him what really bothers her about riding.

'I just hate being stuck on such a big, strong animal without the slightest chance of controlling it or saving myself if it were to shy or bolt.'

Just as he is about to protest that a horse can be controlled nearly at all times, and that he has several very even-tempered riding horses in his stable, he gets it. Of course! As a lady, Elizabeth is expected to ride on a sidesaddle, and Darcy can certainly understand she doesn't like doing that at all. He certainly wouldn't.

A bit disappointed, he was so looking forward to riding together, he admits: 'I just realised you've learned to ride on a sidesaddle. I can imagine that didn't work out for you, you're too independent for that.'

Almost ready to give up on one of his fondest wishes, an idea strikes him, but it is very indecent, and Elizabeth will probably not agree to it: 'Would you dare to have me teach you to ride astride?'

'I would dare, but you wouldn't,' she throws at him, she honestly cannot believe he would dare thwart decency and tradition by letting his wife straddle a horse. 'Mrs Reynolds would certainly catch us at it. And I'd have to wear trousers.'

Picturing Elizabeth in trousers, Darcy finds his ardour building up again, that is just incredible, so quickly?

'It would be very indecent, wouldn't it?' he asks, almost whispering.

'Very much so. Your connections would censure, slight and despise you for it,' Elizabeth teases him. He has to laugh at her expression and what she says, but he can feel the result of his imagination getting stronger.

'The ideas springing up in my mind thinking of you wearing trousers and straddling a horse are fit for one of those lewd books,' he breathes, truthfully.

'Then we won't do it,' she replies, eyeing him critically. 'If you really want me to, I'll borrow a riding dress your sister has outgrown, and try out the most docile horse in your stables to accompany you.'

She would do that for him? Unfortunately, it is not going to be possible: 'Georgiana doesn't ride, so there is no riding dress, sidesaddle or horse suitable to carry one on the entire estate.' For just a second, he cannot hide his disappointment.

Elizabeth now smiles sweetly, but also cheekily, and says: 'Then I'll have to practise straddling things, starting with...you.' And she's on top of him, still under the blankets, but totally nude, that is not going to help getting the idea of her riding a horse astride disconnected from lewd thoughts.

But he is not going to tell her that, if his wish of riding together is always going to stay a wish, he will learn to live with it. Soon, any disappointment he still feels is fading rapidly under her loving hands and her ardent kisses. And when she sits up a little and down again, right on top of his manhood, he loses any capacity to think.

They are in time for their late breakfast, with enough time to spare to dress. Darcy needs no help to get into his hunting gear, which Elizabeth insists on him wearing for their long journey. 'I bet you have plenty of good clothes on your estate, just wear something comfortable on the road. And anything looks good on you anyway.'

Why do her matter-of-fact compliments make him feel so warm, so pleased, when Miss Bingley's outrageous flatteries only managed to irritate him? Is it just love? Or is it the contrast with her teasing? It cannot be, he loves to be teased by his Elizabeth, the way she looks at him as she delivers one of her saucy comments.

Suddenly he realises he will change even more, having all one's follies mirrored right back, but with humour, can only make a person wish to get more, by acting more foolish all the time. Mrs Reynolds will be scandalized, but that cannot be helped, he cannot go back to who he was, Mrs Darcy will never allow that. That sounds so good, and he had so nearly given up hope.

Never has a man been more fortunate than himself, look how pretty she is, lost in thought for a moment, though she seems almost earnest somehow, he will have to kiss her to get her to smile at him again.

Elizabeth wonders if she pushed him too far this time, bossing him around like that, he's used to having his own way, have others jump for him, not to having someone so much his junior, a woman at that, telling him what to wear. Maybe she should check herself a little, this isn't Jane after all, or even her father. She's with her husband now, and he's only developed a sense of humour very recently.

She did get the impression that he liked her taking charge yesterday night, very much so, and this morning, but Charlotte warned her that men are totally different creatures in the bedroom, not a thought to elaborate on in her cousin's case, but anyway, better take a little time to see how far she can go with Fitzwilliam.

He seems lost in thought, though he has a little smile on his face, and now he's looking at her and he doesn't seem put out, rather the opposite. The way he looks at her sometimes, like just now, for instance, it's breathtaking, he'll want to kiss her next, and that is fine, but Elizabeth can hear the house come to life with a activity, it must be the servants preparing breakfast, or maybe Georgiana is already here. Shouldn't they spend some time with her after banishing her from the house all night and leaving her alone for nearly three weeks in an hour or so?

Elizabeth seems to enjoy the kiss, and she answers it readily enough, but it doesn't make her smile, she seems distracted. Darcy remembers reading about ladies not liking being intimate all the time, that cannot be true for his beloved, can it? She was forward enough yesterday evening, the very thought of that night makes his knees weak, that must have been real, she must have enjoyed that, she did tell him she enjoyed it.

And this morning, straddling him, a lady doesn't do that from a sense of duty to her husband, it must have pleased her to do that.

'That might be your sister, Fitzwilliam, aren't you afraid to leave her waiting all by herself?'

It has nothing to do with him, she's afraid Georgiana is waiting! 'I don't expect her yet, my love, and if it was her and she was bored, we'd hear the piano. It's probably the staff come back.'

That seems to settle her, and now he does get his smile, a large, ravishing one, and a kiss that causes the rest of his doubt to vanish. Elizabeth has no problem at all being intimate, she loves it. He can't wait for the coming weeks, just the two of them, no duties, no visitors, no friends, no family.

After that kiss they really have to go downstairs for breakfast, and indeed spend some time with Georgiana. She has weathered a night in Bingley's town-house pretty well. 'When we got home it was time to go to bed, though Mrs Hurst did have a few tears to help dry in Miss Bingley's case,' Georgiana says, 'I don't know whether they were real or for my benefit, you know, to tell you about them, Fitzwilliam. But since you're married now telling you that she cried about it will not give her another chance at you, so I guess they must have been real.'

Since Elizabeth can easily believe Miss Bingley to be truly in love with Fitzwilliam, she even manages to feel a bit sorry for her erstwhile rival. Miss Bingley must be pretty disappointed to have witnessed the man of her dreams getting married, after seeing him fall in love with someone other than herself slowly, tiny bit by tiny bit, her rival someone she herself never judged worthy of any notice, helpless to do anything about it at all. Miss Bingley never had a chance, but was too confident to realise it.

Of course at sixteen, Georgiana has no such finer feelings, and she says bluntly: 'If I were Miss Bingley, I would have said she looked a fright the next morning, haggard face, dark circles beneath her eyes, blowsy hair and I 'wouldn't even mention her dress, as if she just didn't care'. But I'm not, so I'll just tell you breakfast was not very entertaining, with Bingley off to escort Miss Bennet and her family back to Hertfortshire, Miss Hurst away to visit a friend, Miss Bingley pushing about her food on her plate and sighing, and me wishing their piano was in better tune.'

Elizabeth already feels guilty for Georgiana having been forced to spend another morning with Miss Bingley, and this doesn't make it any better, until Fitzwilliam sees her expression and gives her a big wink. Georgiana continues with gusto: 'After breakfast I played her some consoling opera pieces, and that did work, for she soon improved enough to want to discuss all our relations' clothes at the wedding, and all the young men she'd danced with.

And with her brother engaged she was eager to marry me off, I think that is her next goal in life. She'd better marry herself off first, she's waited for you so long, Fitzwilliam, she is in danger of getting left behind.'

Now Elizabeth can see that Georgiana is not put out but in fact relishes to talk that way. Her sister-in-law truly dislikes Miss Bingley, but she is a bit like Elizabeth's father, very clever at making the most of an unpleasant situation.

Though it will be hard to leave her behind once again, it will only be for three weeks, including travel to and from Pemberley, and after that she will have the near constant companionship of her brother, a pleasure she has never really had before. And she will also be spared the irksome company of Miss Bingley, for Elizabeth will not accept that lady's presence in her house outside the occasional week's visit.

So now it is almost time to leave, and Elizabeth chats with Georgiana as Fitzwilliam takes an immaculately dressed gentleman to his study to hand over his family's diamonds. And Mrs Annesley arrives, Elizabeth has no clue where she stayed the night, she may have family in London, she is a misses after all. Elizabeth guessed she was a widow, but maybe she does have a husband yet living.

When Fitzwilliam returns from seeing the gentleman out, they take leave and Elizabeth is handed into the carriage by her doting husband. They wave at Georgiana through the window until they can no longer see her. And their honeymoon has begun.