A/N: The prompt was "hammer and nail". Thank you, lamje! But all I could think of was "If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail", since the Dwarves are so narrow-minded and judgemental. And it's smut! Enjoy, my lovelies!
"Riley, that's my Uncle John." "It's Wren, and nice to meet." You shake a large solid hand, and it is like sticking a fork into an electric socket. "Likewise," the voice is sinful, a hot wave licks your nape, "Are you joining us?" "Sure, she is," Phil grabs your cup from the counter, and you follow them to the table.
The girl's name is Bri, and you feel like asking where she lost the "anne" part. Then you mentally kick yourself, you are the last person to joke about people's names. She has complicated makeup and a lilting voice. She also definitely does not have a major in Geography. You silently drink your coffee through her musings on "the funny names of the coffee sizes". "So is venti very large?" "It's twenty, ounces that is," John's eyes are on you, and you smile to him over the rim of the cup. He licks the cappuccino foam off his bottom lips, and damn, you just imagine nibbling on it. "But then why is grande grande? It is big, right? Shouldn't it be ten, like a half of it?" Phil is patting her hand, way too condescendingly to your taste. "They are just being pretentious in three languages," John murmurs and leans back on his chair. "Maybe they think that their clients are too stupid to know better." The insult is veiled, but it is there.
Bri gets it too. She bites her lip and stares into her cup. You get up. "You know what, I think I should go. Bri, are you coming?" You look at her and smile encouragingly. She looks at Phil, who is obviously uncomfortable, but you don't feel sorry for him. It is your girlfriend, grow a pair and stand up to your uncle. "Yes," she decisively picks up her purse. "Bri," Phil mutters but he doesn't get up. Pillock!
You two step outside and then John's voice is behind. "Hey wait!" That's just great. Apparently hinting and getting a hint are not affiliated skills for him. You spin and give him a stare. Bri sees a cab, and you wave to her. She has a nice smile, when she doesn't care what she looks like. Habitual body monitoring, you brain supplies a term.
"What's that all about?" What? What wasn't clear in your getting up and leaving? "It's about you two being chauvinistic arses." He smirks disdainfully. "Well, common, let's not pretend she was not a bint." You just can't believe it!.. "You don't know her!" "I know the type." Arsehole, arrogant arsehole. "She is your nephew's girlfriend!" "This week, yes." Why are you even talking to him?
You turn away from him and look for a cab. "Listen, it was a bit out of line, but I'm sure she gets it all the time. Common, can we go back inside and finish the coffee?" Bloody hell, he is still trying! "Why do you bother? Following your judgemental logic, I'm probably a lesbian anyways, with the nose ring and the hair," you snap. "Not with the way you are looking at me."
You clench your teeth and fists, honestly surprised you still haven't punched him. "Why don't you go back to your macho of a nephew and leave me alone?" If he touches you, you will definitely kick him in the bollocks. You guess you are that angry because you liked him so much at the beginning. Let's be honest, you got a thing for dominating men.
His back disappears in the coffee shop, and you get in a cab. You are shaking and regret having that venti. When you get home, you realize you left the wallet in the coffee shop. Your neighbour pays for your trip back there, no luck, and back home. You fall in your bed. It is noon, but you just couldn't bother.
The phone rings in an hour and you recognize the voice immediately. "I have your wallet, do you want me to drop it off?" At least, not "when do you want me to drop it off"!.. You give the address of a sandwich shop in the next block. "I'll be in twenty." You borrow more money from the neighbour, and here you are, drinking your tea. He pushes the door with his broad shoulder, and hot damn!.. If you could be a guy for once and shag a body, no matter the brain, but alas, that usually doesn't work for you this way…
He places the wallet in front of you and asks, "Can I sit?" "No," he sits anyways. You regret not wearing your "no means no" tee, but then again he would stare at your tits. "I just want to apologize." "Apologize to Bri." "I already did, Phil called her." Hm, maybe not so spineless... "She dumped him anyways." He picks up a crisp off your plate, and shoves it into his mouth. He is crunching with gusto, and that neck… Shite!
"You apologised, I forgive you. You are a chauvinistic arse, but you know when to back off. Bye!" "Are we friends again?" "We never were friends." "We could be," he leans closer and smiles. "Are you always so direct?" "I'm never that direct, but something tells me honesty is the best policy with you. Probably the nose ring and the hair." He is laughing at you!.. Why are you still sitting in front of him?
Because you want to shag him. Plain and simple. Six ways to Sunday, until your voice is raspy from screaming. And you are certain he is so good!
You get up and pay for your tea. He is sitting and staring at you. "Are you clean?" He hikes up his brows. "What?" "Are you clean?" He smirks, "Just like that?" "Just like that. You did say honesty is the best policy with me. You want a shag, I'm inviting you over." He rises on his feet and you are not sure what is playing on his face. Randy, yes, angry, that too… But what else? Disappointment? Too easy? Someone likes the hunt.
"I'm clean," he submits, and you head to the exit. He silently follows you outside, and you are opening your front door. You are still getting the condoms, hopefully haven't expired. It's been awhile… You come in and flip the switch. His hands are suddenly on your waist and he pins you to the wall. His lips are greedy, and he smells of coffee and the crisp he stole. You scrape his neck with your nails and push your tongue into his mouth. He bends his knee, presses it up between your legs and lifts you off the floor. Then he gently but firmly takes your chin in a hot palm and turns your head to get to your throat. You push the cardigan off his shoulders and jerk the collar of the shirt.
Clothes are off in a few seconds, and you tumble into your bed. Your first climax comes quickly from his busy lips and fingers, then he flips you on your stomach, and you claw on the sheets. He is pounding into you, clutching your hip. Bruises, you prat!... His large palm grabs a handful of your longer hair on the top of your head, and you lift your arse, bending your back further. The next round he slips under you while you are kneeling on the bed, and you lower yourself on his mouth. A beard does add a lot!.. You come with a scream, and he carefully lies you down on the bed. After a few minutes, you scratch his chest with your nails, and he is ready again… God, it's like a jack-in-the-box, couple circular movements of your hand, and it springs to life! His hands are under your buttocks and he lifts your pelvis… Good thing you have no back problems… And for the final round, you straddle him and come twice more. Well I never…
You fall into the sheets and you are not sure you haven't lost consciousness there, for a second… Time to back up your words with your actions. You roll on your stomach and look at him. His eyes are closed. He really is a very handsome specimen… "Well, that was nice..." Your voice is as raspy as you wanted. "Kicking me out already?" He smirks and, damn it, don't swoon. The crow's feet, he is older than you thought, closer to fifty… Well, the stamina though… "I have some work to do." "What kind of work?" "No, we are not doing that," the fluffy black eyelashes fly up, "we shagged, it was brill, now back to our separate ways. You machoing around, me back to..." That's a very vague waving. Good, nothing to talk to him about. "What if I don't want to macho around anymore? Maybe I have seen the light?" He is plain mocking you. "Congratulation on your satori, now get out of my bed. And flat for that matter." He sits up in a fluid motion, and you jump away from him and on the floor. The shirt, the pants, the denim… He is not even trying to catch them. Here you go, a sock is hanging on his head, and he is laughing! An unbounded guffaw! "You didn't think I'll just leave like that?" That's exactly what you thought. "What do you expect, a cuppa?" "Can I?" "NO."
"Listen," you feel like a git, are you actually going to articulate it? "We had a one night stand..." "It's day time." Seriously? "We shagged, we are done, I don't even know your surname." "Thorington." Posh! What's wrong with you? "Whatever," oh stop making yourself comfortable. He bunches up your favourite pillow and snuggles into it. "Are you comfortable there? The floor is probably cold," that's plain purring, and yes it is, you twat. Get out of my bed! He pats the sheet near him. Is he bonkers? "Common, come back to bed. Tell me about the empowerment, male gaze, and Octavia Butler." You start boiling up but then pause. "What?" His eyes are laughing, and he looks delicious. Did he just say Octavia Butler?! Sod it all!