Chapter 20

The effect of Fitzwilliam's question is most extraordinary. Simon has to swallow very distinctly, then hides his face in his hands in what seems to be shame. Why should he be ashamed of being bullied and not telling his master about it? Fitzwilliam doesn't hurry him, he sits quietly, waiting until Simon has his control back.

When the young valet starts to speak it becomes obvious that he is indeed very much ashamed, and his halting words soon explain: 'I'm sorry master, you know I've never kept anything from you before. But what they are imposing on me with is so intimate, and has such potential to harm me forever if it gets out, there is nothing I can do. If they talk, I will never work again, and I may be in danger from the law and everyone around me. They can reduce me to become a beggar with what they have the power to disclose. If I had told you before or even told you now, you would have me thrown out without references, I'd be ruined.

I've not done anything wrong, master, you know I wouldn't. This is just who I am, I've tried to get cured but nothing works. Can't you just ignore it? I can bear a little teasing, I'm used to it, I have older brothers.'

'It's not just you, Simon,' Fitzwilliam replies soothingly, 'they have been tormenting Bob as well, and he clearly cannot bear it, I could see he had something on his liver, though I had to push him to tell me. But you, Simon, I didn't even notice anything was wrong, you kept it from me.'

'Please don't make me tell now, master, please. I thought I might just find another situation, then pray they forget about me. You're married now, there is no place in your household anymore for a valet. I'll have to leave you anyway!'

Elizabeth just cannot believe her eyes, another one of them, Simon is very close to tears at the very thought of leaving Fitzwilliam!

'I know what they use to hurt you, Simon, why do you think I let you help my sister dress all by yourself? Don't you think I would have insisted on a chaperone otherwise?'

That was obviously the wrong thing to say, for Simon now collapses, hugging his own knees, crying softly. Whatever can be so bad that it reduces a grown man to crying, after having withstood months, maybe even years of torment from his closest colleagues? Elizabeth feels really countrified, it is as if they are talking in city code, something she cannot understand.

Fitzwilliam looks at her and asks: 'Do you mind?'

Well, apparently she's not totally stupid or thick after all, just countrified, for she can still take a hint and recognise he wants to comfort his valet. Comfort a servant? Is this Mr Darcy? Feeling quite soft inside, she nods her assent, and sees her beautiful husband stand next to his young servant and lay an hand on his shoulder.

Fitzwilliam is very proper, this is nothing Elizabeth wouldn't do if she saw someone in such distress.

'Never mind, Simon, you trust me, don't you?'

Now looking more like a boy, the handsome young man gazes up at him and replies: 'More than anyone I know, master.'

'Can you believe me if I say you will be safe here? I need Bob to enjoy his work, we trust our lives to him, he cannot be unhappy or distracted. And I need you to feel welcome and useful here, and you will be. I don't suppose I'll need a valet that often anymore, but Mrs Darcy and Miss Darcy will make good use of your insights in London society, and I have a feeling there will be a vacancy in my household staff very soon that you may be able to fill with your talents.

There is a slight risk that your secret will come out when that happens, but if it does, I will stand by you and keep you from ruin with the means I have at my disposal. Please trust me, Simon, and be brave for a few more days until the matter is resolved. Just pretend nothing has changed, I'm going to be haunting this house the coming days and especially the servant's quarters and stables, I want to know what they're doing and what measures are pertinent. That depends on the nature of the offence, which I want to find out for myself.'

The young valet does take heart at Fitzwilliam's speech, though Elizabeth still doesn't understand, but she supposes her beloved will explain later. First he ruffles Simon's hair, and the poor lad looks up at him in adulation. Worse than that actually, in worship. But Simon's not a boy anymore, he's a man, at least her own age. Then that look must be...

Elizabeth cuts that thought short, it would explain a lot, but she has never heard of it. Better wait what Fitzwilliam has to say before jumping to conclusions.

Her beloved must be absolutely torn in two, stalking the halls of his own home to catch his trusted servants red-handed, dismissing Janine and most likely Theo as well will be very hard on Fitzwilliam, he has lived with them for years. Elizabeth kind of hopes he will catch them at something really bad, to make it easier on him, but also so that she herself does not have to convince him to let at least Janine go. There is no way in which Elizabeth is going to share a house with a maid who looks at her with undisguised hatred!

Soon Simon has calmed down, and Fitzwilliam leaves the two of them to take a short stroll to the stables, quietly and unobtrusively.

Elizabeth and Simon stay behind.

'I'm so sorry, Mrs Darcy, to let myself go before you, the first time we meet you see me lose it. That cannot make a good impression.'

His voice is back to normal, but his mind isn't, Elizabeth can see that easily. He's still almost in shock, having his trouble exposed, and realising the master knows his secret. It must be bad to cause a grown up man such intense fear and shame.

'I don't doubt your fear is very real, Simon, and living in one house with people out to hurt you is unacceptable. I'm sure your master will make everything right. I like his suggestion of you helping both Miss Georgiana and myself to get a little more world-wise, I know she has lived in town at least half her life, but I suppose she has been very sheltered. She may be of an age now to want to change that. I've lived in the country all my life, I may be a lost cause. I'm very certain we can use the help.'

She has decided to make some conversation, they hardly know each other and Simon still seems a bit upset, better not set him off again by the wrong remark. And he indeed thankfully observes: 'If the master sees fit to keep me in his service I will be delighted. And I do trust him, in fact I'm starting to feel very relieved he knows. He'll tell you I'm sure. The master would never marry a woman he couldn't share everything with, and I'm sure you will settle in town really quickly.'

When Fitzwilliam returns, Simon asks leave to retire, and of course is allowed to go. 'Remember, Simon, you'll be free again soon. And I've asked Bob to hang out in the staff-room more often, he doesn't mind playing bait, he's got everything to gain by exposing whoever keeps taunting him, maybe we won't even need to use your testimony.'

And to Elizabeth he says: 'Shall we retire to our bedroom for an half an hour, my love, where we will not be disturbed?'

As they sit on the bed, Fitzwilliam says: 'I cannot believe I'm stalking my own staff, the people I thought were loyal to me above all else. I feel betrayed and even a bit sad.'

Elizabeth takes him in her arms, and observes: 'They are loyal to you, in fact I think they are mostly very jealous of Simon. I observed those two when you took Simon to the sitting-room, and Theo looked more than a bit envious of your preference of Simon over him. Janine threw me a decidedly unfriendly look, there was nothing subtle about that. Then when she came in with the coffee she was the complete opposite, friendly, almost demure. What is she thinking, that she can make me leave? That I will accept insolence from a servant?'

For a very short moment, Fitzwilliam almost smiles at her decided tone, then his face becomes serious once more and he states: 'In our marriage it will not work, but there must be plenty of places where a cunning servant manages to sow discord between a husband and wife. Suppose I wouldn't believe you? She was perfectly polite before me.'

'But what is the gain? What is in it for her? Does she like making people unhappy? We cannot unmarry, and even if we could, you could never marry her. There would be another mistress of the house sooner or later.'

'There you may have the point, she felt she could handle Georgie and thus be the mistress of the house, being the highest-ranked female of the staff. To keep that position she needs to get the better of you as well.'

Elizabeth still thinks the stakes too high: 'But it will cost her a job she has had for how many years?'

'Ten, I think. She started as a very young woman, I don't think she has ever served someone else, she must have lost perspective. Do you want her gone?'

'I'm sorry my love, but I do. I've never disliked someone at first sight, and since my dislike of you turned out to be so wholly undeserved, I have become even more careful disliking them on second sight. But the look she threw me, it was pure hatred. I do not want to live in a house where someone hates me, and since I promised to stay with you until death do us part, I'm afraid she will have to be the one to go. But it need not be tonight, and if you want to see her hatred of me with your own eyes I will bear with her a little longer.'

'Please don't ever leave me, dearest, don't even joke about it. The very idea of living without you makes my heart falter.' Fitzwilliam squeezes Elizabeth to his chest so firmly that she cannot move a limb, but she doesn't want to, whenever he shows his love for her so strongly she feels wanted, and safe. Her beloved is still musing.

'Maybe my staff has grown too close to me after all these years, maybe it is time they find some other position, where they will have to earn the respect of their employers again. But I still need to see with my own eyes how bad their bullying is, to decide whether they will get references from me.'

Then he seems to realise something else, and observes: 'Do you really think I treat Simon differently than Theo? Simon may be too close to me as well, but I like him. I appreciate Theo's work here, but I don't feel a bond to him. Nor to Janine, frankly.'

'You certainly did treat Simon differently just now, you took him to the sitting-room chatting, and left Theo with your coat and Janine to serve the coffee. And frankly, both Simon and Theo looked as if they adore you a bit much for grown men, I mean, if they had been ladies I would have been jealous myself.'

Something falls into place for Fitzwilliam, but not for Elizabeth, so this time she looks her question.

'I see I have some explaining to do. I told you when we were still at Pemberley, but I suppose you didn't understand. You know some things are just not talked about in the country, not even at Pemberley.

Simon does not fall in love with women, he falls in love with men. That of course is not something he can have other people know, he is doomed to live in loneliness forever. But he is a good valet, and he has other talents, so he can at least make a good income for himself and his parents and siblings. But if word gets out, no-one will hire him, and even his own family may refuse to acknowledge him any longer.

I don't mind what he is, I know I can trust him with Georgiana and that means a lot to me, but others would throw him out or even beat him. He said just now that Theo had found out and bullied him with the knowledge, threatening to expose him if he complained to me. And what would he complain about? Them bullying him with preferences that would most likely get him dismissed instantly?

Except that I already knew, I don't remember how, I guess it must have been those yearning looks at me, and his total lack of interest in Georgie. Despite being a servant and a low one at that, Bruce always looks at her in a certain way, well, like a man, another man recognises that look. Except Simon never had it.

And now you are telling me Theo also looks at me that way? Why would he pick on Simon then?'

Elizabeth is not exactly stunned with what Fitzwilliam tells her, it confirms that thought she suppressed for not ever heaving heard of this existing. Instead of shock she feels a bit of shame, to be so naïve and countrified. But that doesn't mean she is stupid, and she replies: 'To cover up his own secret. Hating someone who has that will throw people off his own trail. Very low if you ask me.'

'You're not shocked? Disgusted? You're not going to have me kick Simon out for having a bit of a fancy for me?

'Of course not, as you said, it's their problem, not ours. Though Theo is making his problem Simon's as well, and that's not fair. My problem is, I'm just realising how naïve I am. I need Simon badly, I need to be brought up in the ways of the city fast, before I make a total fool of myself.'

'My dearest Elizabeth, have I told you recently how much I admire and love you?'

He's doing it again, looking at her in that special way that makes her heart skip a beat. They are already in a tight embrace, they cannot hold each other closer. With a cry of feeling she kisses him, and he answers that kiss with all the love he feels. It is so special to love someone so much and know that love is returned.

As soon as she gets her breath back, she replies: 'You have, beloved, and I'm glad, for I feel kind of stupid right now.'

'You have been in this house for less than an hour, and you've found the reason why Theo is bullying Simon. He must indeed be jealous, I'm not sure about hiding his true nature, but you may be right, I've never caught him checking out women, but I thought it was professional pride or respect. I didn't catch him checking out men either, and once I suspected I did notice Simon doing that, very covertly, it may have been when Nathan came to London on business, he's very good-looking after all.

Of course I felt Simon react whenever I touched him, and a touch sometimes does happen when someone is wrenching you in a coat that seems at least a size too small. But both of us ignored that and just horsed around a little. That familiarity must have made Theo livid. I'm sorry I never caught on to that, but of course there was trouble with Georgiana before this. It's time to make tough decisions.

Will you let me spy a little in the kitchen while you explore? I expect Georgiana to come home any minute now, I wonder what she has seen of all this.'

And so it happens that Elizabeth checks out the rooms of this house, there are very many of them, and all perfectly decorated. Fitzwilliam does have excellent taste, but Georgiana needs some space to develop her own preferences, and some rooms can use a bit of a feminine touch, maybe she can convince her sister to exchange some thoughts on that soon.

Coming across the library of course she gets distracted, so many books, it must be one third the size of the Pemberley library but that is large enough to provide a medium sized city with books. This is still very large for a private owner, and Elizabeth wonders how many books are doubles, and how many are adding to the sum of his collection.

As she browses the shelves, picking up a volume now and then to take a closer look at its contents, she feels a presence behind her in the room.

Thinking it to be Fitzwilliam about to surprise her, she turns around to see Janine standing there, looking even more hostile now she's alone with her mistress. Except she doesn't seem to recognise Elizabeth as such, which strangely causes Elizabeth to feel curious rather than angry or affected. Why does she act like this, what is the gain the woman expects to come of it?

As Elizabeth just looks at her curiously, the maid isn't affected at all by her scrutiny, she just stands there and stares back. Elizabeth is not going to start a staring-match with a dependent, or speak to her if there is nothing she wants from her, so she turns back to the rows of books and ignores Janine entirely. Feeling a bit of discomfort to turn her back on someone so hostile towards her, she soon dismisses the feeling and finds interest in the books around her, until Fitzwilliam seeks her out to tell her Georgiana is back from her lesson and lunch is ready.

After leaving Elizabeth to explore, Darcy moves quietly towards the kitchen, something he is surprisingly good at for a man of his size and bearing. Of course being a sportsman he has learned to keep absolutely still, or he'd never shoot anything.

He supposes few members of his staff ever enter the kitchen, it is the cook's domain and anyone except his helpers would be in the way. The kitchen has a door to the staff-room which is usually closed but can be opened, to allow the cook's helpers to serve meals and coffee, and Darcy plans to spy on what is going on in the staff-room from the kitchen.

Entering the kitchen through the door that is used to serve meals to the family, he explains to the cook why he wants to stay in the kitchen unobtrusively for half an hour, and though the cook is surprised to hear it, he also admits he is usually too busy and his place in the kitchen is too noisy to hear much of what is going on in the staff-room.

Preparations for lunch and dinner tonight go on, the kitchen staff ignores him, and Darcy peeks through a knothole in the door at what is going on in the room itself.

Bob is indeed sitting there, chatting with one of the hired maids, a pretty young woman with a fresh face. She must be hired especially for their return to the household. After a short talk, the maid excuses herself to go back to her duties, and the cook brings Bob his lunch, and stays for a while to catch up on the Pemberley news.

Then Theo comes in, and one of the cook's helpers brings him his lunch, which he eats at the same table as the two others. Everything seems completely normal, just three men, one of whom has just arrived after a long absence, exchanging news.

The cook comes back into the kitchen with a question written in his face, and Darcy starts to doubt whether Bob hasn't read the situation in the wrong way. But when the cook has closed the door behind him, Darcy having made way for him for a moment, the latter goes back to the knothole and sees a totally different scene.

Theo is sitting menacingly close to Bob and asks calmly why Bob doesn't eat his lunch in the stables, where he belongs being the country bumpkin he is. Considering the smell he carries around him all day, there is only one place suitable for him, doesn't he agree? With the other horses? They might be better company, too, same long nose, same big teeth, same level of intelligence.

When Bob doesn't react, Theo shoves him once, hard, Bob nearly falls but he manages to keep himself upright. Devilishly clever, for if he were to fall someone would certainly come running from the kitchen and ask for an explanation.

As Bob rights himself, Theo spills the contents of his cup of coffee in Bob's plate, ruining the food on it, then starts to eat his own lunch, totally ignoring Darcy's trusted driver, forcing him to either complain to the cook and hope his word will be believed against the highest-ranking servant in the house, or do without lunch.

Bob seemingly chooses the last option, and makes himself scarce, undoubtedly to the stables. Seeing the pleased expression on Theo's face is truly painful. How can he have kept such a sadistic nature from his master for so long? How can anyone enjoy torturing someone weaker than themselves?

Darcy decides not to confront Theo with what he did just yet, Theo might warn Janine something is up, and that is not useful at all. Instead, Darcy tells the cook he has seen enough, and suggests the cook might want to peep through that hole himself sometimes when the room is almost empty, see what is really happening in the servant's quarters. Then he swears the man to silence about the master's presence in the kitchen, and he does the same with the helpers. Last thing he does is claim another lunch for Bob, and Darcy is off to the stables to deliver his driver a well-earned meal and commend him for his bravery in facing an abusive superior.

In the stables he can hear a loud voice, and hoping to clear up this business quickly, he quietly peeks around a rough wooden door. And incredibly he can see Bruce, the much younger stable-boy, giving Bob another dose of humiliation. Bob outweighs and outranks Bruce, but apparently he dares not resist this much more physical abuse either. He merely shrinks into himself and takes what he seems to think he cannot avoid getting.

Darcy's anger has been rising steadily, and now it reaches a boiling point, and since the house-staff never comes into the stables he can do something about this situation straight away. He barges in and steps in front of Bruce, face livid undoubtedly.

Seeing his master in a fit of rage, the young man positively blanches, struck dumb, but having been caught red-handed striking a higher ranked colleague who has not lifted a finger to resist, there is not much to say.

Bruce's reaction takes the worst heat out of Darcy's anger, and the latter quietly turns around to hand Bob his lunch, saying: 'I thought you might like some edible food after all, you must be hungry after driving the team through town. I always feel very safe with you on the box, Bob, know that you are not invisible to me.'

Realising his master saw everything that happened, not just here, but in the kitchen, too, his relief is just incredible. He only manages to whisper: 'Thank you master. For your kindness and for the lunch. With your permission I'll go sit on the box now to eat my lunch, so you can finish your conversation with Bruce in peace.'

So he does have some spirit left in him, good. Darcy almost thought it might be too late for poor Bob.

As Bob moves away slowly, Darcy merely observes Bruce. Will he have to be dismissed, too? He is still so very young and impressionable, but he did seem to enjoy poking and slapping Bob a shade too much. No-one can see them here, no-one could have forced him to do that. What he has to say now is very important for his future, as far as Darcy knows Bruce is not married yet, but his mother does depend on his income, as well as his younger siblings.

Finally able to speak, the young man falls to his knees and begs: 'Master, please have mercy on me, my mother and little sisters cannot do without my income. If you throw me out it'll be the poorhouse for them.'

So he does realise the magnitude of what he has done.

'Do you know what you have done, Bruce? You seem to realise that molesting a superior deserves the severe consequence of dismissal, but do you truly realise what you have done to a fellow human?' Darcy feels his anger rise again, he would really like to kick this hypocrite heap of snivelling humanity out on his ear, right now, but Bruce is a human too.

'I do know what I have done master, I was brutal and he didn't even try to defend himself. He was always nice to me, he never did anything to hurt me. I admire him, for he knows horses so well, and he can drive the fast horses through that narrow street around the corner. I truly don't know why I started to pick on him, I must have been mad.'

Darcy raises himself to his full height and speaks with authority: 'Bruce, look up at me.'

As the young man obeys instantly, there is a semblance of true repentance in his attitude, but the decision will be up to Bob.

'I caught you molesting your superior, your position in this household is forfeit, I can dismiss you with a bad recommendation. That means you'll be lugging bags of grain in the harbour, if they'll take you.

Since you are not the only one in this house preying on the weak, I am inclined to think you are not bad by nature, just impressionable. Your fate is in the hands of your victim now, for only he decides whether you may stay despite what you did to him. If he allows it, you will work as the lowest stable boy on my estate, three days away from here. You will be able to support your family, but you will not be able to see them for a year, and you will get acquainted with hard work under a strict master. But only if Bob can still bear the sight of you after what happened.

You will not talk to him on this matter until I give you leave, on punishment of instant dismissal. You will not go into the house for meals or coffee or at all until I give you leave, again on punishment of instant dismissal.

Do you understand?'

'Yes master, I understand. I did a despicable thing and I deserve punishment.'

He has not pointed the finger at Theo or anyone else, he takes full responsibility, which in Darcy's opinion speaks for him. But he is capable of a deed Darcy finds unimaginable, and it will take some hefty recommendations from his dependable staff at Pemberley to regain his trust in this boy.

'Better get back to work then, I'll get back to you as soon as my other business is finished.'