Chapter 23

Georgiana hails another cab, and as they drive towards home she says: 'You won't tell Fitzwilliam he's in love with me, will you? You know he said I could marry a pianist, but since I'm not even in love with Eric I would rather not test the truth of that statement. I feel a bit sorry for Eric, though I suppose it's the same feeling I have when he plays, only since he's older it's more serious.

If he sticks it out until I'm eighteen I may take Fitzwilliam up on his promise, Eric's so beautiful, and so talented. Ánd nice, I think I could love him, if I can love anyone. That music he wrote, can you believe how good that was?'

Of course Georgiana knows, and knows Elizabeth knows. Again, she's way more subtle than anyone realises. 'I agree that it's better not to test your brother until you are serious about it, but I once promised him to tell him everything I had on my mind. I will try to keep this a secret, but I cannot promise you anything, Georgiana, I love him, and withholding something on purpose just feels wrong. I feel sorry for Mr Fielding, though, he seems very sweet.'

Since the cat is out of the bag anyway, Elizabeth asks: 'I would love to hear him play that entire piece, do you suppose he'd come and perform it for us? Your brother might help him find someone to teach him.'

'But then he'll leave London,' Georgiana nearly panics, 'and I'll be left without teacher!'

'Isn't there anyone in London then? Is he that good?'

'Vienna, or Prague, maybe some German city, maybe Paris or Rome, masters like that are very rare. It'd cost a fortune. Eric could do so much better as a composer, but he's stuck on becoming a performer in the prime venues. If he asked me, I'd tell him to perform in London to make a living, but to spend most of his time composing, not on practising for hours to get rid of one tiny mistake no-one but himself and three other people in the entire world can hear. Maybe Fitzwilliam can give him a push onto the stage, Eric'd find out soon enough that's not what he wants from life. Eric was made to compose.

Do you think he could control himself before Fitzwilliam? My brother is very observant, and he's so very much in love himself, don't you think he'd notice immediately?'

Elizabeth has to admit: 'I do, he'd know the moment Mr Fielding crossed the doorway. And I seriously don't know whether I could convince him there is no harm in continuing your lessons. We've only really known each other for maybe two months, Georgiana, before that we just exchanged politenesses, nothing more. You may know Mr Fielding better already than I knew Fitzwilliam when I accepted his offer. It was his love for me and Mrs Reynolds' testimony that convinced me we would be an excellent match.'

'His love for you is rather endearing, and he did suffer so much under your rejection and ill-opinion, though he knew it was his own fault. If Eric were to become so unhappy I might fall in love with him to stop his pain. That sounds like a bad reason to fall in love, but you just told me it worked for you.'

'Mr Fielding will not be so unhappy, for he knows his love is the result of admiration for your talent, and he will be able to bring that talent to bloom. And you like him, admire his talent, accept his affection as far as you can. How can he become unhappy spending time with you? He realises you're young and above his station, he promised to fight his inclination.

I just worry about Fitzwilliam, I don't like to keep things from him, but I don't want to risk him getting angry when I tell him, either. Have you ever seen him in a rage?'

'I haven't,' Georgiana replies, 'he was icy cold to Wickham. You know, I still don't understand how I could believe myself in love with Wickham, Eric is clearly in love with me and I think of him as nothing more than a teacher and possibly a friend.'

Elizabeth replies: 'I think you did love Wickham, as a brother, but since he was not your brother you might have mistaken that feeling for romantic love. I shudder to think what might have happened to you, Georgiana.'

'I didn't realise then, fortunately. I didn't warn Fitzwilliam out of fear, you know, I did it because I loved him more than I did Wickham, and was afraid to lose him. Was he very angry yesterday?'

'He was, Janine said some very offensive things, strangely enough he only became angry when she insulted me, though she accused him of some vile things. He wasn't in a rage though, he merely rubbed it in that he had spent six months chasing me and worshipped me, he said that literally, and that she'd better respect me or be very, very sorry. Didn't he do that to Miss Bingley as well? Except for the 'I'm important I can break you' threat?'

'He did, he merely said, very calmly, that you were one of the most beautiful women of his acquaintance. But it was the way in which he said it, his words were infused with his love for you, Miss Bingley was crushed. I don't think I'll ever meet a man who can compare to him, I'm just spoiled for other men.'

'He is not musically talented, though. Which reminds me, did you know your brother reads amazingly well? I mean, as good as Mr Fielding composes, like you're really there?'

'No I didn't. How did you find out? And will I get to hear it?'

Elizabeth decides to give a somewhat censored version of what happened, and all Georgiana says is: 'I hope he'll let us hear it, with a decent book of course. And Elizabeth...'

Elizabeth awaits her request.

'If the time ever comes, will you give me the book? To improve my mind as well?'

Giving up any attempt to keep a straight face, Elizabeth replies, laughing: 'I will, but we'll have to talk about it as well, if you believe all that's written there you'll never stop running.'

And with that, they have arrived, and again Georgiana gets out of the cab by herself and pays the driver, Elizabeth merely following.

Their arrival does not go unnoticed, for the door is held open for them, not by a new butler, not by any other servant, but by the master of the house himself. Fitzwilliam lets them in with a broad smile and as soon as the door is closed, he takes Elizabeth in his arms and lifts her to his chest, clutching her to him.

'I missed you, my dearest, I was very busy but still I felt an emptiness by my side where you should have been.'

Her face is covered in kisses, and her neck nuzzled and kissed, until he decides he has to act decently again and he puts her back on the ground. He does hold on to a hand, though. 'I'm not letting you go all day. Shall we check on Daisy? She arrived this morning, just after you left. We'll let her settle in today and you can try her tomorrow.'

Looking at her eagerly, his expression immediately changes to concern as he says: 'Never mind love, I'll stay with you of course, I won't ride myself, I'll walk beside you like a footman, and hold your ankle in worship.'

For yes, now the time is near that Elizabeth will have to ride in public, in thick traffic, she does get kind of unnerved. What if Daisy bolts?

Yes, or what if she grows wings and flies away? As if that solid horse would ever bolt, after having walked all the way from Pemberley to London, probably carrying Mr Hugo half the time, and he is not a small man. She will not work herself up to fear, there is nothing to be feared, Fitzwilliam will not risk her neck and his happiness.

'I'm looking forward to it, Fitzwilliam,' she says, and she does, kind of. Exploring the city is good, and on a horse is as good as on foot or in a carriage.

He's all over her again, until she says quietly: 'Fitzwilliam, you're embarrassing Georgiana. Besides, she wants a kiss, too.'

And she is right, Georgiana watches them with an expression half embarrassed, half bemused, and when both pairs of eyes are suddenly directed at her, she says cheekily, without flushing: 'Yes, Fitzwilliam, what kind of example is this for your little sister? Now I want my own admirer, to kiss indecently in front of my family. Or maybe I'll settle for a chaste kiss from you for now. But just this once.'

She embraces her brother lovingly, and gets her chaste kisses, and she observes: 'Oh Fitzwilliam, you're making it very hard for me to ever find a suitable husband. How can anyone ever measure up to my image of you as a man, as a lover, and as a father? How will I ever be able to settle for less? For there cannot be two men like you in England.'

'I'm not worried, Georgiana,' he replies with a grin, 'he needn't be half as rich, for you're rich yourself.' Then more seriously: 'Just make sure he loves you as much as I love you, and as I love Elizabeth.'

She leans against her brother and lets herself be hugged once more. Elizabeth cannot but find it a good thing that Georgiana can witness how much her brother and his wife love each other. It will give her a good example, make sure she will not settle for less. There must be plenty of deserving men in the city, though Georgiana does need one with at least an appreciation for music. And anyway, she's just sixteen!

It is much more difficult to find time for intimacies now their honeymoon is over, so much needs to be done and arranged. It has been just impossible to have a moment to themselves by day, so when they finally retire to their bedroom, they are both very ready for some loving. Despite their heat they manage to take plenty of time to caress every inch of the other's body, Darcy actually needs to restrain himself as he did the first times they were intimate.

Who could guess that making love so often was actually keeping him mellow and, well, patient might be the best word. He's impatient now, his urges are pushing him to be active, to go further more quickly, but he adamantly refuses, there are two people involved in this and they will both be totally sated afterwards.

Building up their excitement slowly, stroking ever more intimate places, kissing, tasting, it's so pleasant and so enticing, that they continue to stimulate each other with their tongues and hands until Elizabeth is gasping in ecstasy after several shuddering climaxes, and he himself is very close to his own release.

A bit surprised to have overcome his need to take his pleasure and instead let it be brought to him, he remembers to warn his beloved that his climax is imminent and to remove himself from her mouth. Not feeling guilty at all to spill his seed outside his lover's body, they clear it away quickly then lie on the bed together, feeling very fulfilled and pleased to finally be alone together, and free of desire.

This is the time to talk things over, of course he has brought Elizabeth up to speed about what they have decided in the morning, of Simon and Mrs Annesley taking to each other so well, and Mrs Annesley having such a talent for ciphering and finances, that they have decided that she will stay in their service after all to keep the accounts and manage the household affairs in general, living with her own family and coming to work three days a week.

Simon will see to the daily running of the household and assist Miss Darcy and Mrs Darcy whenever they need his expertise, as well as fulfil a butler's duties when Mrs Annesley is not in the house.

But now Darcy wants to know how Elizabeth's morning was, and he asks her to tell him about it. She describes how Georgiana hailed a cab and gave the directions, and Darcy is very proud of his sister, so self-reliant, she has grown up so quickly.

Then she tells him: 'Mr Fielding is a very handsome man, with excellent manners and incredibly well-dressed. Georgiana asked him to play for us and Fitzwilliam, he was so good I just couldn't believe it. Have you heard him play?'

'I haven't had the fortune, no. When we visited him he listened to Georgiana, he didn't offer to play for us. Do you think we can convince him to come over some evening, to play for us? Or do you think he won't like to play in a small setting, since he's planning to become a famous performer?'

Elizabeth replies: 'I don't think he feels above giving a private concert, no. He played a piece he wrote himself, and I would so love to hear the rest of that.'

But there is some doubt in her, Darcy can see it as if she has told him about it. There is something she doesn't want to tell him, something she thinks will upset him. But she promised to tell him if anything ever bothered her, she promised not to be afraid to share anything with him.

Concerning herself, what if this concerns Georgiana? That would make it entirely different. 'I can see something bothers you my dearest, won't you just tell me? I've never been angry at you, have I? I had a reason to be mad at Janine and Theo, you won't hold that against me, will you?'

That is clearly too much for Elizabeth, and she says: 'Of course not, you didn't scare me by getting mad at them, actually, I thought you remained pretty calm throughout. And I know you love me, but we've only been together for a few weeks, and Georgiana is your sister and your ward. You may have totally different ideas about raising her than I have, you know I grew up in total freedom, too much freedom actually.'

All right, what's with Georgiana, why doesn't Elizabeth just tell him and let him decide how bad whatever happened is? She seems to be seriously considering not to tell him why they might rather not invite Mr Fielding over.

'Don't look at me like that, Fitzwilliam,' she says, 'I know I promised to tell you everything, but this is not mine to tell, not really. Georgiana is my sister now, and if she tells me something in private, I cannot share it with you.'

Georgie must be in love with the teacher, he promised her she could, and he will not go back on his promise, but she's so young, the man may be taking advantage of her. 'Is she in love with him? I know I promised her she could marry a pianist, but I didn't mean she should fall in love with the first one she encountered, she's just sixteen! She may still meet a gentleman she really likes.'

'Fitzwilliam,' Elizabeth now breaks his train of thought, 'she's not in love with him. She just admires his talent, and he is a very good and patient teacher.

But he is thoroughly infatuated with your sister, and she is afraid that if you find out you will forbid her lessons.'

That silences him quite readily, and she continues.

'She isn't interested in him as a man, just as a teacher and a very talented composer. Actually, she told me she isn't interested in men at all, yet. She admires him a lot, and with good reason for he is a superb player and a gifted composer as well.

But his admiration for her talent has made him fall in love with her, he admitted it to me and told me in private he knows she is above him, knows she is not interested in men yet, and he assured me he will conquer his infatuation if only he may please stay her teacher.'

Still trying to refrain from forming an opinion until he has heard everything, Darcy stays perfectly still except for his hand, which gently explores his beloved's soft white skin and smooth curves.

An inquiring look from Elizabeth questions his silence, and he observes: 'There is more, I can see it, so please continue.'

His beloved nods and adds: 'Georgiana knows, she told me in the cab that if he's not over it by the time she's eighteen she may test your promise that she can marry a pianist, he is talented, handsome and kind, she thinks he might make a good husband. And she said that if he becomes as unhappy with an unrequited love as you were, she's going to fall in love with him to make him happy. Though being lovesick might make his music even better, I bet she didn't think of that.'

That is just so much like Elizabeth, to think of something like that when trying to convince him that nothing unsuitable is going on between Georgie and her teacher.

'But if he were to perform here, you would certainly notice his admiration of your sister, and they are both afraid you'd forbid the lessons. She wants to become as good as he is, and convince him to compose rather than spend all his energy on becoming a stage-pianist.

He wants to develop her natural gift, and hopes she will in time learn enough to improve his playing by pointing out the tiny mistakes even he makes. He should be taking lessons from other masters, but at his level it is expensive and difficult to find someone, Georgiana says they can be found in Vienna and Prague and maybe in Paris, not in England.'

'So if I offer to set him up with a foreign master he'll leave my sister to further his career?'

Darcy makes his voice sound dry.

'He probably would, but it would break her heart to lose her teacher, and according to your sister the world would gain a fabulous performer but lose an even better composer.'

'What do you think?'

Why does it surprise Elizabeth that he would ask her opinion? He first flaunted all he held dear to propose to her, then spent months in a state of acute dejection and changed his whole life for her without having the slightest hope to even see her again. Why would he not want to hear her opinion? How can she still think he would decide anything truly important without consulting her first?

'I think we should trust him and let your sister have her lessons. He is handsome, he is talented, he is sensitive and he admires your sister for her talent and her resolution, not for her breeding and her thirty thousand pounds. And he may even get over his infatuation before she falls for him. But then he may not, she is an admirable young woman. Separating them now may harm his talent and make her love for him bloom. But of course I'm a hopeless romantic.'

'Do you think she will fall in love with him?' Darcy asks his beloved.

'She very well might, he has everything she wants in a man, except that she doesn't want a man yet. She wants to learn to play the piano better than anyone, and he can help her do that. I don't know, I think so, I guess. And I can't even blame her, I fell for a man who loved me, and I truly never considered your fortune. When I started to realise you were a human being with true feelings, your love became valuable to me, and I started to see our characters would be a great match. I never even desired to marry a rich or important man, I just wanted someone whom I could live with.'

'And have I lived up to your expectations so far?' Darcy has always dared ask pertinent questions, and now is no exception.

She looks at him with a soft expression, runs her hand through his hair, her movement sending a whiff of her feminine scent his way. As he relishes it, she then strokes his cheek, rather rough with stubble for he needs a shave. Still, she seems to enjoy it. Catching his eye, he can see her studying his face, until, still touching his rough jaw, she kisses him with a passion that sends a shiver through him despite having just made love. In her eyes he can see the answer to his question before she speaks: 'You have exceeded every expectation I ever had of being loved. The only image I formed of love was of the spiritual part, you know, talking things over, experiencing books and music together, being in company together. It makes me very happy just to be with you, to share everything with you, to see how much you love me and feel the same love for you inside myself, that part is everything I imagined and more.

But I had no idea there was a physical side to love as well, you have awakened something I didn't know was in me. And that something makes me feel incredible, especially when we make love, but also on other moments, when I feel your arms around me, or when you look at me in a certain way. Yes, that way, exactly as you look now. It makes me feel safe and wanted, and want to kiss you, and touch you, feel your touch on me, smell you. I love it.'

'Elizabeth, my love, how do you manage to put things like that into plain English?' Her words make his heart swell, she loves him as much as he loves her, and it makes him so blissfully happy. As usual, the thing he expresses, the main reason he fell hopelessly in love with her in the first place, is his admiration for the way her mind works. But though he doesn't express the depth of his love for her this time, she must be able to read it in his very being, he is love on moments like these. How could she not feel that?

And she does: 'It's just telling you what I feel, Fitzwilliam, the moment I feel it. It doesn't feel special to me. Well, what I feel for you is special of course, but the way I put it into words isn't special to me. You're looking at me like that again, I find it hard to breathe suddenly. Will you kiss me again?'

Of course he will, how could he not? Is it wrong to love a person so?

After a few more kisses they remember they were talking about Georgiana and the master who is supposed to teach her how to perfect her playing, and Darcy can only suggest: 'What if I accompany her next time? That is not extraordinary, is it? She's my sister after all. And I'll invite Mr Fielding to come and play his entire work for us.'

'He'll be very nervous that he is found out, but I suppose he'll get over it if you haven't called him out after half an hour. I really like him, I trust him with your sister, with a chaperone of course, it wouldn't do to invite gossips. I'll miss you, though.'

'I will miss you, too. And I won't let them know you told me about his infatuation, don't worry.'

Elizabeth feels a bit bad for Georgiana and Mr Fielding, but for herself she is relieved she will not have to keep a secret from the man she has come to love so much. And even if Fitzwilliam doesn't want to continue the lessons for fear of his sister falling in love with a commoner, Elizabeth may still be able to convince him to let Georgiana have her lessons.

With that comforting thought she falls asleep against the warm shape of her loving husband, forgetting any apprehension she might have over Fitzwilliam chaperoning Georgiana during her piano-lesson, or riding Daisy through town tomorrow on a lady's saddle.