Chapter Five

Before I went down to join the Ottavi's for breakfast I paused at the top of the staircase. I was still disappointed in myself that hours earlier I had awaken the couple with a terrifying scream from a nightmare that I couldn't fully recall. Even though the older couple was gracious in forgiving me and calming me down I was still embarrassed.

Dressed in my Sunday clothes I quietly descended the stairs. I stopped once more in the hallway to check my image in the mirror before I continued on to the kitchen. I walked into the room to find Mr. Ottavi sitting at the kitchen table, sipping coffee and reading the Sunday paper. Mrs. Ottavi was sitting next to him. She looked up from buttering her piece of toast. "Good morning, Scout."

Mr. Ottavi lowered and folded the newspaper he was reading. "Good morning."

"Good morning." I walked over to the table and sat down. "Listen, I want to apologize again for…"

"No need to apologize." Mr. Ottavi raised his hand to encourage me to cease my apology.

"But…" I tried to plead my case to be able to share my regret.

"Scout, you are not the first person to have a nightmare in this house. Plus, Dorothy and I are not foolish. We are both aware of the trauma you have gone through, and don't forget, I have seen firsthand how trauma can affect you. We knew what we were getting into." Mr. Ottavi said with a wink and a smile.

I lowered my head in shame and thought about the night Dally was shot dead in the streets of my neighborhood, and my mind played tricks on me.

"Young lady, there will be none of that!" Dorothy sweetly directed me.

I looked up to get a clarification of what I should not have done.

"There will be no sadness for the things you cannot control. What you have seen and been through may take years to fix. You are not going to get better overnight, and that's okay." Dorothy reached over and grabbed my hand to comfort me. "My brother struggled with similar nightmares after the war in Europe. Trust me, time will heal you."

"And you are not alone." Arthur told me. "We want to help you, so let us. Okay?"

"Okay," I answered and smiled gently even though I had no idea how they could help me if I couldn't seem to help myself.

Mrs. Ottavi declared with a grin. "Good! Step one in getting better is to be social! This morning we are meeting up with your brothers to see the new home, and then we are going shopping! We have a big day, so help yourself to whatever you'd like for breakfast."

"Thank you, I will." I said as I grabbed a knife and a piece of toast. "Owen and I drove by the house yesterday. It looked real nice."

"You are going to love the inside. It is an adorable home." Mrs. Ottavi said with excitement.

"Are you excited about moving?" Arthur asked me.

I paused a moment before sharing my thoughts. "I love the new house, and I am super happy for Darry and Kathryn. They deserve a home like that… I suppose I am happy for everyone. It's just ... strange to think about not living in my home. I have a lot of memories there. It's the only home I have ever known, and I won't ever spend the night there again."

"I am sure I can arrange for an overnight or two before the move." Mr. Ottavi assured me.

I smiled in relief. "That would be wonderful. I know it's not that fancy of a house, but it meant everything to my mom and dad."

"You know we've met them before." Dorothy said.

I perked up. "You have?"

"Yes, on a few occasions. We've sat next to them during a few football games, and then at the football banquet during Ryn and Darry's senior year. Your parents were a lovely couple, and we could tell that they loved all of you very much."

Arthur added, "As I recall, you kids were all they talked about. I remembered when I asked them if they had any more children and they said, Sodapop, Ponyboy and Scout. After hearing your names I didn't know what to say next, but now that we know you, your names seem much more normal then they did that day."

Mrs. Ottavi told me, "They said you were their only daughter, and they called you their bonus baby."

I laughed at the memory and proudly told my story. "By the time my mom was pregnant with Ponyboy she figured she knew everything she'd need to know about having a baby, so she didn't go to the doctor. She didn't know I was tagging along. My dad said they just thought Ponyboy was wild, and was gonna be a bigger handful than Soda the way he was always kicking and moving in the womb. In fact, That's how he got his name. One day my mom said the baby was acting like a racehorse waiting to be born and my dad, who said he always knew his baby's were boys, said she was going to give birth to a pony boy. They even called him that before he was born. Then seven minutes after my brother was born I showed up as a surprise. My dad named me Scout because he figured I had to be an adventurer to come to a crazy family with three boys."

Mrs. Ottavi inquired, "How about Sodapop? How did he get his name?"

I laughed. "When my mom was pregnant with him the only thing she craved was Sodapop. So dad would bring her a bottle every evening after work and pat her belly and say 'here ya go, Sodapop'. The name just stuck."

"And Darry?" Mrs. Ottavi asked.

"That's an easy one. Since my parents were both orphans they decided their first son would be a junior that way if they ever got separated he would be able to find them again."

"I didn't know your parents were orphans." Mrs. Ottavi said with empathy in her voice.

"Yeah. That's how they met. My dad lived in a children's home in Missouri. When he was born his mother wasn't married. She tried to keep him, but when he was about three she died of a fever. He was sent to the home and never adopted. He said it was because the ladies who worked there loved him so much they wouldn't let him go. Then when he was seventeen my mom showed up from another children's home in Iowa. Her home had burned to the ground leaving all the orphans orphaned again. Everyone from that home was separated so she was shipped of by bus to Missouri with just the clothes she was wearing and her hair still smelled like smoke."

"How old was she?" Dorothy asked.

"Sixteen. That's when they met. My dad drove the head lady to the bus stop to pick my mom up and it was love at first sight. My mom got off the bus and my dad asked her if he could take her bag. She said she had no bag to take, so then dad says, 'then I'll take your hand instead'. He held her hand and walked her to the car. A year later my parents were married in the backyard of that children's home. A few months after that Darry was born and a few weeks after that my dad got a job at the steel mill, and my parents moved to Tulsa."

Arthur told me, "So they were survivors, just like you."

I sat back in my chair. "I hadn't ever thought about it that way, but yeah ... maybe."

"Well, it sure sounds like it." Mr. Ottavi said before he sipped his coffee.

Dorothy interjected, "Now that you're with, us your days of having to be tough to survive are over. My daughters were right. I do plan to spoil you while you are here."

I grew a little embarrassed by the promise of attention. "Thank you, but you don't have to do that."

"You are so cute. You think being spoiled is optional." Mrs. Ottavi stood up, and patted me on the top of the head before walking out of the room. "Let's get going. We have to meet your brothers then I have at least two boutiques I want to take you to today."

I looked over at Mr. Ottavi who was grinning at me before he said, "She's persistent, so you best just let her do what she wants."

I kindly smiled back then drank up all of my milk. "Mr. Ottavi? If you don't mind me asking, how did you get Judge Carlson to change his mind so quickly about me moving back home?"

Mr. Ottavi smiled and replied, "If you want to lead a happy life, you need to be sure you have a happy wife!"

"I beg your pardon?"

"When we knew about the baby and that Kathryn wanted to be married this weekend, Dorothy shared the good news with all the ladies in her Bridge Club. Everyone was very happy for us, but then Dorothy reminded everyone that Kathryn was still struggling emotionally, and it was traumatic for her to have to deal with you being sent away. So, the woman all began to offer advice and ask what they could do to help. Now, you don't know Dorothy well enough yet, but you will soon learn that when she wants something for her daughters she fights hard, and maybe a little dirty to get it. So, she pipes up and starts telling the girls that the best way for Ryn to recover is to be able to be with you and Darry every day, but it's impossible because Judge Carlson sent you away and won't allow you to return."

My mouth dropped open in surprise. "Oh my, she actually said that?"

"Yes ma'am! Then the brood of ladies insist that Maureen go straight home and make her husband change his mind and let you move back home for Kathryn's sake … and here you are."

"Wow!" I looked away in thought then asked, "Do you think it's true that Kathryn will begin to feel better if she sees me every day?"

"Absolutely! She worries about you horribly. You know she feels responsible for breaking apart your family, and the only thing to fix that is to return it all to normal."

"I think the last thing she's gonna want to see is my family acting their normal selves."

Arthur laughed with me. "That may be true, but then what family isn't that way. Come on, let's pick up these breakfast dishes, then we need to get going."

I rode in the backseat of the Ottavi's Cadillac and listened to Dorothy gush about the new home she had selected for her daughter. She raved about the honey colored oak trim, and built in buffet in the dining room. She mentioned that the floors matched the trim and were in pristine condition, which is apparently uncommon in a home of this age. I heard that the house had been freshly painted, inside and out, and she believed I was going to love one particular feature just off the kitchen.

As the car pulled into the driveway of the new home I noticed the newlyweds' happily sitting together on the front porch swing. I smiled to myself as Mr. Ottavi parked the car, and opened my car door. I slid off the leather car seat and quickly walked up to the front porch. I giggled at Darry who had his Ray Ban sunglasses on to shade the bright morning sunlight from his bloodshot eyes.

Kathryn joined me in giggling at my brother's condition. "Someone had more champagne then he could handle yesterday."

Darry grinned and spoke up in his defense. "I used to be able to handle it just fine. I just need to get back into shape like I was before I party like that again."

I frowned, and the vision of Darry lying motionless on the floor of the laundry mat flooded into my mind.

Darry quickly noticed. "Stop it, Scout!"

I stepped back and leaned against the white porch railing. I wanted to tell him about the nightmare, and how sorry I was for what happened to him, but I knew it wasn't the right time and he wouldn't want to hear my apology again. Instead, I let the familiar sound of our pickup truck turning onto the street be the distraction. "Here comes trouble."

"You mean more trouble! Trouble is already here." Arthur joked and pointed at me as he and his wife came to join us on the porch

"The whole group of'ems trouble." Darry joined in the teasing.

"I hear we take after our older brother!" I teased.

Darry smiled slyly, "At least one of you does."

"Gee, I wonder which one of 'you' that is?" Mr. Ottavi questioned in quest as he looked at me.

"In the stubborn department, no doubt!" Kathryn added with her quick wit.

"I'm not stubborn!" Darry joked as he stood up from the swing then helped his new bride to her feet.

"Did you two remember to bring the keys?" Mrs. Ottavi asked, and Darry reached into his pocket and pulled out the house key for her to see.

Ponyboy and Sodapop ascended the porch stairs together. Ponyboy looked at me and asked with a grin, "Scout! How was the dance?"

"It was great, but it was a long day. I'm pretty sure during one of the slow songs I rested my head on Owen's shoulder and fell asleep while we were dancing."

"Long day, but a great day! We hadn't had one of those in a mighty long time." Sodapop added with a smile then tusseled my hair to purposely mess it up.

"Yes it was." Mr. Ottavi agreed then gestured towards the front door. "As the kids say, let's keep the good times rolling. Ryn, why don't you unlock your new home and show everyone around?"

Kathryn smiled and took the key from her husband. She excitedly unlocked the wooden front door and opened it. The door slowly swung all the way open. Kathryn gasped at the first sight of the interior. "Oh, it's so charming!" She took a step closer to the door, and Darry grabbed ahold of her arm to hold her back.

"Hold on," Darry said as he took off his sunglasses. "Let's at least do this part the traditional way." Then he bent down, lifted his bride into his arms and carried her across the threshold of the new home.

Mrs. Ottavi joyfully warned my brother, "Don't drop them!"

"I won't, Mother. I may not be as strong as I was, but I'm still strong enough to carry these two." Darry said with a grunt just before he set Kathryn back on her feet inside the living room.

Sodapop followed the Ottavi's through the front door, and I took the time alone on the front porch to be with my twin.

"So, what do you think today?" I asked.

Pony looked out at the new scenery from the front porch and sighed. "I think this is all gonna take some getting used to."

"Story of our lives for the past year."

"Yeah," he agreed, "just another change in our lives that we can't do anything about."

I thought a moment about my twin's observation. "Maybe this change will have a happier ending then all the others. I'm ready for that!" I looked over at my brother and asked, "how'bout you?"

"After the last year, I'm pretty much ready for anything better."

I squinted in the sun and quietly asked, "Pon, did you have a nightmare last night?"

Pony thought for a second. "No, I take it you did."

"Uh huh, and it was a bad one. Mrs. Ottavi said I was screaming for Dallas and when they came into the room to wake me I was shaking and sweaty."

"When's the last time you had one that bad?"

"I don't know for sure, but I only had a few of them the whole time I was at Ashford, now I'm back here and I have one of my worst ones yet."

"Don't sweat it. Maybe it was just a fluke thing."

"Or maybe the closer I get to James the worst they become."

"That could be part of it. You're probably just worried about nothing. Everything's gonna be just fine." Ponyboy smiled and pulled at my sleeve. "Let's get on inside, so we don't miss the tour."

"I hope you're right," I sighed and walked into the home. Immediately, I echoed Kathryn's reaction. "It is charming!"

Mrs. Ottavi called out from the kitchen area. "Scout, come see!"

Pony and I followed the lady's voice and walked into the kitchen. I was amazed to see new appliances in harvest gold color and solid wood maple cabinets.

Mrs. Ottavi stood by a closed door on the other side of the room. "Come, stand by Kathryn."

I crossed the room and stood next to my new sister-in-law. The two of us faced the closed door as Mrs. Ottavi announced, "One less worry for the two of you!" The lady opened the door to reveal a new washer and dryer inside the side porch. "No more trips to the laundry mat!"

Kathryn gasped then she stepped into the room with a wide grin. She ran her hand across the appliances as tears began to form in her eyes.

I stood outside the room and silently marveled at the extreme thoughtfulness of Mr. and Mrs. Ottavi. Sodapop noticed my lack of reaction and questioned me quietly, "you, okay?"

I stood frozen thinking about not having to return to that laundry mat or any other. I wouldn't have to be alarmed and jump out of my skin when the doorbells rang or a dryer buzzed. In some odd way, the presence of this amenity freed me a little from the horrors of the past. Soda wrapped his arm around my shoulder and gave me a little squeeze, "hey?"

"I'm good." I quietly told him then I took in a deep breath and addressed Darry's in-laws. "This is wonderful to have…thank you for this. This is probably my favorite part of the house. I don't have to see anymore."

Dorothy smiled proudly, "you are so very welcome. I knew right away this was something you and Ryn would both need to help you heal and we are happy to be able to give it to you."

I joked with my brothers, "and by heal, she means you can each start doing your own laundry!"

"I don't know," Pony joked, "those machines look way too fancy for me to be able to learn how to use."

"You're a smart boy, you'll learn." I assured my brother.

Inside the laundry room Kathryn broke out into tears. Darry pushed past me to be at her side. He asked her if she was going to be okay. Kathryn nodded yes, but continued to sob.

"Come on kids," Arthur said to Pony, Soda and me. "Let's go see what else this house has to offer."

The four of us walked away. As we went down the back hall to see the two bedrooms and bathroom on the main floor I thought about Kathryn constantly falling apart whenever she thought of seeing me in shambles or Darry laying on the floor in a puddle of his own blood. Why did these memories seem to bring her to tears, but not me?

Mr. Ottavi's voice broke into my thoughts, "Those two rooms are for the baby and the baby's parent's and these two upstairs are for you three." Mr. Ottavi led us up the stairs as he explained, "one is large enough for Soda and Pony to share, and the other is tiny, but Scout will do fine in there." At the top of the stairs I peeked in to find my room to be just large enough for my dresser and my bed.

"What do you think?" Arthur asked.

Sodapop nodded in agreement, "It'll do. Now let's go check out the important part, the garage!"

Soda and Art headed back down the stairs. I tugged at Ponyboy's sleeve to quietly trigger him to stay behind with me. "Now what do you think?" I asked hesitantly as the two of us sat down side by side on the top stair.

"I don't know. I mean … I know I am supposed to be happy for Darry, and I am! It's just, now it's real. You know… really real." Pony paused for a moment then continued. "Mom and Dad are really gone. I know that seems weird to say after all this time, but somehow at our house it seemed like ... maybe they'd walk back through the door at any time. You know? But once we move, them being gone is permanent. No more wishful thinking, nothing to trigger a memory or a thought."

"I agree with you, but no matter what, they will always be with us."

"I know that," Pony said, "I'm just belly achin'."

I leaned up against my brother to snuggle his side. "It's okay to feel sad, Pony. I miss them too, all the time." I sighed heavily then to lighten the mood I asked, "Could you imagine how excited mom would be for Darry right now?"

"She's think this place was the bee's knees!"

"Yeah… let's give it some time, Ponyboy and we might think it is too."