Summary: It was an outrage. Lyanna's son being banished to the wall. Fucking Ned. Her son didn't deserve this. His did- but not hers. Never Lyanna's- even if he was half-dragon. Robert couldn't let her son be treated like this. The son that should have been his. So Robert would take the boy as his own squire. Robert would see him happy and whole. For Lyanna, the woman who should have been his wife. He would protect the son that should have been his own.
A/N: I'm sure everyone reading this has read a fanfiction where Jamie or Barristan or Olenna or Oberyn or Ser Alliser or anyone really recognizes that Jon is Rhaegar's son and takes them under their wing. But Jon has two parents not one. So what if someone recognizes Jon as Lyanna's son because of similarities to her instead of similarities to Rhaegar? What if that someone is the one person who Ned wants to find out the least?
The fandom has this twisted idea that Robert didn't actually love Lyanna and only loved the idea of her or that she was supposed to be his. Just because Lyanna didn't love him doesn't mean that this is at all the case. There is no evidence in the books to support that theory and actual evidence to the contrary.
In Eddard I, of the first book it literally says and I quote: "Ned had loved her with all his heart. Robert had loved her even more." Ned might've been mistaken on how much she loved Robert or whatever, but he holds no doubt that Robert truly loved Lyanna.
I'm choosing to view Robert and Lyanna's relationship as a Snape/Lily Potter thing. Snape hates James and loves Lily despite her probably hating him. Snape hates Harry because he is James' son but doesn't want him dead. He still helps him survive and even succeed while also being excessively cruel to him and taking out his hatred for his father on him. It's that kind of dynamic that Jon and Robert will have in this. He'll flip back and forth between being sweet on Jon and protecting him and threatening to take his head and wanting nothing to do with him. Those mood swings are even more extreme because he's a raging alcoholic.
This is not a Good King Robert story. Robert is not the hero of the story. He's a shit King and a shit person. He just cares about one person and it changes some of his actions. Only some. He's not a villain either, however, and this won't bash him needlessly as most fanfictions do. He's a complicated human who exists in shades of gray like most people.
This will probably be Jon/Myrcella because that's a criminally underused pairing and makes some sense in the parameters of this story but no promises on that front.
Robert I
Robert pulled a serving girl onto his lap greedily as she refilled his wine. She wasn't the prettiest thing but apparently, the North didn't have the same selection of whores as the south. Dark hair and gray eyes with soft features with a generous bust. If he was drunk enough, he might be able to pretend it was Lyanna later tonight.
He greedily groped at her chest with his left hand as she ground her ass against him and drank with his right straight from the bottle. He ignored the thinly veiled looks of disgust sent his way by Ned and the much less hidden one from his wife.
Robert took another drink. Damn the both of them. He had needs and without Lyanna this was the only way he could meet them. They didn't understand his grief and pain. No one did. He loved her more than life itself and she was ripped away from him by that fucking Dragon Prince. He wished he could crush his skull again.
The girl on his lap let out a yelp in pain as Robert in his anger squeezed to hard and Robert quickly relaxed his grip. He turned his attention back to the girl on his lap and bit down on her neck. It was all wrong.
Lyanna had a scar there- a small cut in the shape of a crescent moon. Her hair usually covered it but when it was tied back it was proudly displayed. Robert had only seen it a few times himself but he had longed to kiss it- trace it with his tongue and find all the other signs of how tough the woman he loved was. A chance that the bastard had taken from him when he raped and killed Robert's love.
Robert shoved the whore off of his lap roughly and took another long gulp of his wine. "More wine!" He shouted loudly at her. Robert hated the North. He hated that it reminded him of what should have been. He hated the guilt he felt betraying her memory with a whore in her home. He hated that he couldn't drown in his sorrows and forget her as much as he tried. More than anything he hated seeing her son.
His eyes drank in the sight of him against his will. He was dragonspawn but he was hers and should have been his. In King's Landing, Robert had allowed himself to forget she had a son. That wasn't possible here where it was impossible for Robert to not notice him.
He had suspected that the boy was Lyanna's when Ned had returned to King's Landing with the corpse of his love and a newborn babe. When he had heard of how the three Kingsguard had been left to guard Lyanna and stayed after the death of Rhaegar and Aerys even more so. When Ned had done his best to keep the boy away from Robert and refused to name his mother he was all but certain.
Jon Arryn had suspected the same and Robert knew Varys knew as well. Ned was a horrible liar and Robert knew his brother well enough to tell when he was hiding something. But Robert had let it be, not having the heart to crush the last bit of Lyanna even if it was also dragonspawn. He had given Ned leave to raise the bastard and not had any plan of seeing her son ever again as he drowned himself in whores and wine.
His wine was refilled and Robert turned back to it, hoping to forget that her son was in this very room. Yet, he found himself unable and unwilling to remove his eyes from her boy. A busty wench walked by him but he found himself oddly disinterested as he watched the lad converse with his uncle in black.
"I will never father a bastard!" He heard her boy roar from the squire's table and saw the fire in his eyes as he stared down his uncle. "Never!" He repeated.
If there had ever been any doubt in Robert's mind that Jon Snow was truly Lyanna's bastard and not Ned's then it was removed then and there. That fire was so much hers- the way his grey eyes shone with tears that would never fall. The nose had always been hers even if the cheekbones and chin were all the monsters.
The way he shot to his feet with his right shoulder turned defensively to the man who had offended him so and the way his jaw clenched. Unlike most men, his Lyanna had opened her hands and spread her fingers when she was angry. Her son did the same instead of clenching his fists as Ned does.
Even his words brought him back to Lyanna- when he had elicited the same reaction from her. She had found out about Mya and lashed out angrily at him for having a bastard while betrothed to her. For dishonoring her so- and Robert had fallen in love all over again right then. He had vowed to change his ways but she had been taken from him before he had the chance.
For a brief moment, Robert wanted to have Benjen executed for daring to upset Lyanna's boy before he remembered where he was and who Benjen was. Who the boy's father was. Yet, even his hatred for his father didn't outweigh the great love he held for Lyanna.
Robert watched mutely without wine or a whore in hand as her boy slammed into a serving girl and sent a pitcher of wine crashing to the floor. He growled quietly as laughter rose up around the room as her son fell to the floor. He watched closely as he stood up and ran out of the great hall.
He could hear Lyanna's voice in his ear- urging him to go to her son and comfort him. To be the father he should have had but he squashed it down and drank more wine. The boy was Ned's and not his concern. He would not comfort dragonspawn even if it was Lyanna's.
"I apologize for the bastard's errant behavior." Lady Stark apologized. "He'll be punished for his disturbance."
Robert glared at her without thinking about it. "You'll do no such thing!" He snapped before remembering where he was and who he was defending. Dragonspawn. "He's a young lad and drunk. He meant no harm and nothing he did was worse than what Ned and I got up to at his age."
Robert didn't wait for a response as he went back to his cup and pulled another wench greedily onto his lap. Ned turned from him with a frown and Lady Stark pursed her lips but didn't offer a response.
"I'm most pleased to hear that you've accepted this honor, my Lord Hand," Cersei simpered. "May I ask who all you are taking back with us to the capital?"
Ned cleared his throat awkwardly. "My eldest, Robb will remain in Winterfell as it's Lord in my absence. My wife will remain behind with him to help him learn to rule the North and take care of Bran after…" he trailed off solemnly.
Ned coughed and shook his head lightly before resuming without any joy. "Rickon will likewise remain behind with his mother for a few years at least. I might send for him once he's older but for now, I won't part him from his mother."
"Sansa and Arya will obviously be joining me in King's Landing. Sansa is to be betrothed to your son, and Arya will need to learn the ways of a southern court eventually." Ned continued as Robert listened with half a hear while more focused on his wine. "I'll also be taking Jory- the captain of my guard-"
"What about the bastard?" Robert interrupted gruffly.
"Who?" His bitch of a wife laughed. "Obviously, a bastard would never come to court."
"Hold your tongue, woman," Robert snarled. "I was asking Ned not you."
"Jon will join the Night's Watch," Ned spoke with steel in his tone.
"He'll what?" Robert roared spittle flying everywhere. "You would send your son to freeze his balls off on a block of ice!" He sneered "your son" with obvious sarcasm. He knew Ned wouldn't do that to his son. But Lyanna's? Apparently so.
Ned didn't pick up on the sarcasm. "The watch is an honorable calling, Your Grace," He explained defensively. "My brother serves faithfully and Jon is most eager to join him."
Robert snorted. "Maybe it was a hundred years ago but not anymore. The wall is full of rapists, thieves, murderers, and traitors."
"Then he can restore honor to the watch. It is what he wishes so it is what he will do." Ned declared firmly.
"Not if I have anything to say about it," Robert muttered softly. He refused to let Lyanna's only son- the last piece of her on this earth wilt on the wall. She didn't deserve that. She wouldn't have wanted that. Robert couldn't let that happen to her son.
It didn't matter if he was also the thieving rapist's son. Lyanna would have loved him all the same. Robert was sure of that. She had cared for his bastard even while condemning Robert for the bastards existing.
She had treated them with more respect and love than Robert himself and not blamed them for being born. She had never judged anyone based on their family but who they were. She would have loved her son because he was an innocent child and her son even if it was also a reminder of how they were ripped apart.
That was who Lyanna was. She wasn't like his bitch of a wife. She was perfect and kind of gentle and beautiful and wise. She should have been his. Her son should have been his. Robert wouldn't betray her memory by spitting on her son's face.
"With all due respect, Your Grace," Ned interjected firmly. "It is not your decision. I am the Lord of Winterfell and he is my blood," The Not yours went unspoken but Robert heard it loud and clear.
Robert should have just let things lie. He had every intention of following Ned's lead and trusting in his brother in all but blood that Lyanna's son truly wanted to throw his life away. Except then he saw him.
Lyanna's son was standing there talking to his cousin- the eldest one, Robert's namesake. He looked weary and as if he might cry even if he forced those tears back. The smile plastered onto his face was obviously fake and so like the fake ones Lyanna had always used when in formal settings. It was only when she thought she was alone or with people she trusted that she smiled honestly.
Her son was not happy about leaving. He was broken over it. Ned had lied to him. The boy didn't want to join the watch- not truly. He just wanted to belong. He had seen the distaste with which Lady Stark had treated him. Lyanna's boy was no longer welcome in Winterfell without his uncle acting as a buffer and thought the wall was his only choice.
Robert could give him another one. It might infuriate Ned and would infurtiate his wife even more. It might infuriate Robert's wife most of all. But he could do right by Lyanna. He could be there for his son even if he hadn't been there for her. The last thing he wanted was to be closer to the dragonspawn but he was still Lyanna's son and it was what she would have wanted.
"Boy!" He called out gruffly across the courtyard- his decision made.
"Not you Stark," Robert scowled. "The bastard!"
Lyanna's boy stepped away from his cousin shakily. "Me?" He asked nervously.
"Yes, you!" Robert barked. "Come here!"
"Your Grace?" Lyanna's boy asked nervously once he stood a few paces from Robert.
"Come with me boy," Robert demanded before trotting off towards the stables.
He reveled in his frown that mirrored Rhaegar's own. Stupid bastard didn't deserve happiness. His wife glared heatedly at him as they walked off and Robert's resolve only grew. If it made his wife unhappy then all the better for it.
"If this is about the feast, Your Grace, I apologize for the disturbance. I was in the cups, and not thinking clearly. I can assure you it will not be repeated, Your Grace," Lyanna's son apologized contritely.
Robert laughed. "I don't give a shit about that."
"Then may I ask why you wished to speak to me, Your Grace?" Her son asked nervously.
"Ned says you're joining the watch?" Robert asked in lieu of a real response.
The bastard looked taken aback by the question but after a moment he nodded. "It's an honourable calling, even a bastard can rise high in the Night's Watch."
Robert couldn't help but laugh at how stupid the dragonspawn was. Clearly he had inherited his father's brains. "The Night's Watch is a place for criminals not the son of the person I love."
Lyanna's son looked at him queerly but didn't question it. "What would you suggest then, Your Grace? There is no place for me in Winterfell without my Lord Father here. I can make something of myself in the watch."
"Have you met Lancel Lannister?" Robert asked instead of answering.
Her son blinked owlishly at the question. "I can't say that I've had the pleasure, Your Grace," he replied waringly.
"It's no pleasure," Robert snorted. "The boy is an idiot. A simpleton. He's incompetent at everything and cares more about pleasing my wife then me. He can't fight and he can't even do the straps of my armor. He's a weak lad with no spirit."
The bastard made to speak before shutting his mouth and then repeated the motion for a second time as he bounced on the balls of his feet. After a moment he finally spoke impatiently and in a rush. "Why does this concern me, Your Grace?" Lyanna was the same way. Impatient and incapable of holding her tongue even when she obviously should have. The complete opposite of the always respectful Ned.
"The boy is my squire," Robert explained. He was really going to bring a dragon back into King's Landing after fighting a war to remove them. He was going to save Lyanna's son from a wasted lifetime at the wall. He was going to make her proud from beyond the grave. Do right by her even if it meant doing the rapist a favor as well. She was more important than his hate.
"I apologize for your misfortune, Your Grace," He replied nervously with a half grin as he tried to weakly crack a joke. He then looked horrified when he realized who he was speaking to. The look was unnatural on him, he had never seen a look of horror on Lyanna before but it was very much not Rhaegar.
Robert guffawed openly and loudly which drew eyes all around the courtyard towards them. "I knew I liked you boy," he chortled. "I plan on dismissing Lancel, I'm surrounded by enough Lannisters as is. I would like for you to take his place."
"You want me to be your squire?" Lyanna's son questioned with obvious shock.
"Are you daft boy?" Robert asked. "That is what I said. I don't like repeating myself."
"It's just- just… why me?" Her son wondered. "I'm just a bastard."
"Yes, your just a bastard," Robert agreed. "But you are also the son of someone I love and I won't see her son waste away at the wall if I can help it. That's not what they would want for you."
"That is exactly what father wants," the boy muttered under his breath but Robert pretended he didn't hear.
"Out with it boy!" Robert grumbled impatiently. "Do you accept or not?"
Lyanna's son jumped at the tone. "I accept, Your Grace. You honor me. I won't let you down." He bowed his head to him in deference and Robert frowned. Lyanna would have never bowed in respect or reverence like this.
Robert snorted. "I'm not trying to honor you, bastard." He hated how he relished in the way that her son flinched at the form of address. "I'm trying to get myself an actually competent bitch boy to service me."
Lyanna's son met his eyes and Robert's heart melted. They were her perfect grey orbs to the most minute detail. The specs of green on the outer edge and the vibrant iris. They were the eyes he had fallen in love with. "It is still an honor, Your Grace. I thank you for this opportunity."
"I'll give the day to get your shit in order," Robert promised. "I want you outside my chambers and waiting on me starting at the crack of dawn tomorrow."
"Thank you again, Your Grace," Her son replied reverently as Robert stalked off.
A/N: It's been eight months since I took down JSTLD, and since then I've published nothing. Part of that is due to me having less free time for writing but more of that is a lack of ability to finish anything. My general rule of thumb is I don't publish something until I have at least 30K words written of it. I haven't come close to that threshold despite having hundreds of ideas I really like. I have general plot ideas but no idea of how to write them or to get from plot point A to B in a logical manner.
JSTLD was doomed because I planned too much. I had plot points I needed to happen and I adapted the way my characters behaved to make those plot points happen and ruined all consistency and personality my story had before then. That story was a mess and my efforts to avoid those pitfalls again have made actually writing out these ideas impossible.
I've been lacking in inspiration and partially out of desperation for some sort of direction and feedback, I'm going to break my rule of having a solid foundation before publishing. In the next few weeks, I'll be releasing the first chapter of a few more stories in this fandom and some others. I have no clue if any of them will ever be finished or even get a second chapter.
So please let me know which ones you like best and want to be continued. Where you think I can go with the plot and how to connect plot points while keeping it character-based instead of plot-centric. I can't promise I'll continue your favorites but I'll make an effort and as much as I hate relying on others especially in writing, positive reinforcement makes it a lot easier to find motivation and write.