Chapter 38

After dinner, Elizabeth is really tired, but she supposes Jane will want to have a nice, long chat.

'You look very tired, dear Lizzy, I suppose you'll want to turn in early? Don't feel obliged to stay up for me, we'll have plenty of time to catch up tomorrow, when you return from your visit to Longbourn. Will you be going on horseback?'

Visit to Longbourn? Whatever for? Papa did say 'See you tomorrow' when he rode off towards home, but surely he was planning to visit Netherfield the next day, to play billiards with the men and escape from Wickham?

'Lizzy, don't tell me you weren't planning to visit mama! She'll feel very much neglected if you don't visit, you know. It's bad enough that Mr Darcy won't want to come, but you have to wait on her, you're an adult now, you know, you should mind your manners.'

She's right of course, her father was alluding to the two of them coming to visit. Fitzwilliam not coming will be a terrible offence to his mother-in-law, but Elizabeth has to go, despite her having not the faintest inclination to see either her mother, or Lydia or Wickham.

'Thank you for reminding me of my duties, once again, dear Jane. I'll never have your natural sensibility for these matters, I'll admit it never occurred to me mama would be expecting a visit from us. Fitzwilliam will not be pleased, and I cannot expect him to come, but I'll have to go of course. How will I ever measure up to my status as a lady, Jane, if I cannot think of these things myself?'

'Oh, dear Lizzy, now don't be so hard on yourself, you'll learn. I'll help you along as long as you're here, and after that? Well, your husband is very rich, so I guess he can hire you a governess.'

Dear Jane! Telling her it isn't all her fault for never having had a proper education. But Elizabeth cannot forgive herself so easily, and they do already employ someone in their town house who is as good as a governess, or better. Some of Elizabeth's time will have to be spent with Mrs Annesley, to learn the finer points of proper behaviour, something Jane has always instinctively understood, but Elizabeth apparently needs to be taught.

'Thank you once again for reminding me, Jane, and for excusing me tonight, I am tired and would prefer to get a good night's sleep, especially if I have to face Lydia and Wickham tomorrow. I suppose you'll take good care of Fitzwilliam and Georgiana when I'm away?'

'Of your sister I will, but your husband can take care of himself very well, dear Lizzy. You know that as well as I do.'

A penetrating look from Jane.

'You don't? That's ludicrous, Lizzy, he was a respectable gentleman when you still played with dolls, he'll be perfectly fine. If you insist, I'll keep an eye on him as well, but I'm certain you are mistaken.'

'I suppose you're right, I just feel very protective of him around Miss Bingley. She has been imposing on him for years.'

Jane is very understanding, as usual, and proves she can observe people, too.

'I think your Mr Darcy is not going to allow that to happen anymore, dear Lizzy, he has already set a few very clear boundaries and he will stick to them. He seems to love you even more than Bingley loves me.'

That last is said almost in a whisper.

'Bingley always knew you returned his affection, dear Jane, though some tried to convince him otherwise I think his subconscious was stubborn and kept faith in you. But there was a time I truly hated Fitzwilliam, and I think that realisation made him love me more than anything.'

By now, Fitzwilliam is approaching, and he is obviously ready for some sleep.

'You look as tired as I feel, my love, shall we turn in? I'll need my wits about me if we're to ride to your parents tomorrow, though in fact I prefer to meet Wickham at Longbourn for the first time. The fewer people present, the better.

I wouldn't want to spoil your wedding after all, Jane, by publicly strangling my brother-in-law.'

Does everybody understand these conventions better than Elizabeth? She has always been so proud of her quick mind and intelligence, but apparently they are of no use at all when it comes to good manners.

'You plan to go along?'

Jane cannot hide her surprise, and Fitzwilliam delights in having caused her to betray an emotion, he smiles at her with distinct charm.

'What else can I do? Mrs Bennet is due a visit from her daughter and son-in-law. Besides, she has ever disliked me, and if I slight her even more not even my riches will be able to make up for that.

I mean to win her, to get her to like me, and though I am at a disadvantage for earning her dislike at the start of our acquaintance, and marrying her least favourite daughter, I have one huge advantage, and I intend to exploit it to its utmost.

I've had my valet choose her an impressive gift, and I'll be wearing my very best coat but one. I'm saving the best one for your wedding, of course.'

'I told you so, Lizzy. Darcy can take care of himself.'

Jane rubbing it in? This must be the effect of fatigue, it cannot be happening.

'Thank you for your confidence, Jane,' Fitzwilliam replies, 'but I'm very relieved to have your sister along all the same. I'm not looking forward to being nice to George Wickham, not at all. I still want to smack him in the face for what he did to Georgie, and for the lies he told about me. But there was a time when we were good friends, and he depended on me. I'm going to remember those in order to restrain myself and even treat him nicely to his face.

You will be proud of me, Elizabeth. And you, too, Jane.'

With a laugh, they part, leaving Georgiana in the care of Jane and Kitty, she is not ready to go to bed yet.

But they will not find sleep, yet, for when they get upstairs, Fanny and Simon are waiting to help them get ready for the night.

Resigned by now, Elizabeth allows Fanny to help her out of her dress and into her dressing-gown, while Darcy of course has Simon to attend to his fashionable outfit. Elizabeth asks Fanny how she has been received by the Netherfield staff, and the girl replies readily.

'Mrs Nicholls is very nice, ma'am, as are the other regular staff. I'm not a girl to idle, I've not been your maid for very long and I find it hard to just sit and chat while others work, so I offered to help out wherever help was wanted, and I made myself useful polishing some silver and removing some nasty stains from the table-cloths and mending a few frayed seams.

Of course the other lady's maids and the valets didn't appreciate that, but I can chat and keep my hands busy at the same time. They didn't dare scorn me for it, somehow being your personal maid gives a lot of standing, even Miss Bingley's maid let me be, despite her being my senior and quite accomplished at her work.

They had all kinds of questions for me, personal questions, impertinent actually, but I managed to evade answering them quite easily. Mrs Annesley prepared me really well for just this, I never used to talk so much, I never had the time, if she hadn't taught me how to talk entertainingly but not say anything pertinent I might have inadvertently given them something to gossip about.

Simon is very popular, that may have helped, too, he introduced me as you asked, and made sure I was comfortable. He seems to be some kind of leader among the personal servants, he even looks like a prince in his livery, he wears it so proudly. He's been giving me some advice as well, but so far I haven't needed it, being a city girl and good-looking is apparently plenty of reason to gain respect.

Well, besides being Mrs Darcy's maid of course, they all wanted to know where you got the necklace, and whether you had any more treasures like that. I didn't tell them we found them in a drawer, Simon told them they were priceless family-pieces, which I suppose is true enough.

Shall I brush your hair before you go to sleep? It's nice and relaxing.'

Mrs Annesley was right, if Elizabeth is to have a maid, Fanny is the best choice for being unlikely to gossip. What if she had described yesterday's scene, with Simon scolding his master, and Fitzwilliam not even taking him to task about it?

'And did you get to see Bob? Was he comfortable as well?'

'Yes, ma'am, thank you so much for asking, he'll be pleased to hear you thought of him. He knows the stable-hands here, and he seems to be as respected as Simon among his own group, and even among the other servants, excepting the personal servants, they look down upon the rest for some reason. The ladies' maids and the valets both, maybe because they tend to be city-bred. Well, I'm not going to be part of that, not even if I can stay a personal maid from now on.

There now, ma'am, your hair is as soft and shiny as ever, your dress is airing out, and your riding dress is clean and will be dry tomorrow morning.'

'Thank you, Fanny, I'd like to wear it first thing tomorrow morning, but the master or I will ring for you, no need to wait for us at the door.'

Being helped to undress is not an unfamiliar occurrence to Darcy, and Simon and himself soon fall back into their old routine.

'How are things for you at Netherfield, Simon? Are you being treated well?'

'Certainly, master, the staff know me of course, and have ever treated me with great respect. Miss Ragwort very much appreciated the extra attention I lavished on her, she didn't even snub Fanny, apparently being Mrs Darcy's maid is quite something.

Bob was pretty comfortable, though a little less cosy with his Fanny than Cook allows in our communal quarters at home. He's a smart fellow, and he gets more respect than one would expect from a homely country boy, I gather it's because you own the best team they know of and Bob gets to drive them.

Tomorrow I'll give you a report on the gossip Mrs Darcy's first appearance generated. Violet, that's Miss Ragwort's first name, her mother must have loved flowers but I think it's a mean thing to do to one's daughter, Violet brags Miss Bingley tells her everything. So be prepared for tomorrow, master.

Oh, and Fanny really knows how to keep her thoughts to herself, the other servants tried to milk her for information, you know, personal things, but she artfully distracted them from their quest for knowledge.

And how was your day, master?'

Just like the old times, it's not exactly as if Darcy has missed talking to Simon just before turning in, but there is no harm in indulging him for now, Fanny is still busy and Simon is so anxious not to overstep his new role.

'It was fine. Miss Darcy settled well, Caroline Bingley behaved well to Mrs Darcy on their first encounter, and Miss Bennet truly is an excellent lady of the house, even before the marriage.

I'm going on a morning visit with Mrs Darcy, and I want to look my very best. Can you take care of that tomorrow, Simon?'

'Of course master, will you ring the bell?'

When both servants have left, Elizabeth is eager to lie in his arms under their lovely warm blanket, just enjoying each other's presence, stroking and kissing a little, but very lazily.

'Dear Jane,' Elizabeth says softly, 'she's just perfect for this, such a gracious lady of the house. You know I never thought of visiting my mother.'

'Then it's lucky I did,' Darcy teases her.

'Why didn't you tell me?'

'Well, I didn't know you had forgotten, did I?'

'No, you didn't, my love, it's not your fault I didn't think of it. I just feel awful to lack a sense of propriety, somehow Jane understands these things naturally, but I don't. How can I be a worthy Mrs Darcy if I just don't seem to get it? Did you really get my mother a present?'

He was just teasing her and now she feels bad. That was not his intent, he doesn't care three straws about propriety, he wants his beloved and nothing else.

'Actually, Simon did that, but I asked him to. It's a beautiful little mantle-clock with gold-leaf ornamentation. He assures me she'll love it.

And my dearest, loveliest Elizabeth, I love you and no other. Suppose you did have Jane's innate sense of propriety, what part of you would have been lost in exchange? You might have been someone completely different, someone I couldn't love. You just stay who you are, and let me love you. Preferably right now.'

The next morning they are on their way to Longbourn just after breakfast, the horses full of energy once more, and Elizabeth not stiff at all, she has really gotten used to riding.

Of course, Fitzwilliam knows the road well.

'I keep being surprised actually having you by my side, love. I used to ride this with Bingley, the morning you accepted me I was so nervous, my horse felt it and started to fidget.'

'I was nervous, too. Are you nervous now?'

'I'm not. When I'm not in a large crowd I'm fine meeting Wickham, and anyway, with you by my side I can face anything.'

Before they know it they arrive, the stable-boy takes their horses and Elizabeth knocks. Their butler opens, and greets Elizabeth heartily, 'Miss Elizabeth, of course I should say Mrs Darcy now! You are expected.'

Darcy gets a very polite bow.

'Mr Darcy, please follow me to the drawing-room.'

Even with Lydia and Wickham staying over, the family-party seems much reduced, and Darcy greets his father-in-law with a hearty handshake, his mother-in-law with a handshake and a charming observation.

'Mrs Bennet, I don't need to inquire after your health for you look fantastic! I have brought you a little something from London, I hope you'll like it.'

He hands Mrs Bennet the little clock in its colourful wrapping, then kisses Lydia's hand, knowing he looks like a veritable prince with his tall figure, handsome face, and stunning coat.

'Mrs Wickham, you are trying to out-glow Mrs Bennet, marriage clearly agrees with you.'

Stunned by his open friendliness, Lydia returns the compliment, still eyeing him with admiration.

'You don't look half bad yourself, Mr Darcy, you must be as happy in your marriage as I am.'

Lydia clearly is very happy, but Wickham, though well-mannered as always, isn't as insincerely friendly as usual. He actually looks rather downhearted, though he tries to make an effort to be lively. Darcy forces himself to meet Wickham's eye, he just cannot manage to shake his hand.

'Mr Wickham,' is all Darcy can think of. He still has nothing to say to this man.

'Mr Darcy,' of course Wickham cannot treat Darcy with familiarity after such a greeting, his brother-in-law is way above him, but somehow it seems as if he doesn't even want to be familiar. They both bow, then Darcy greets Miss Mary with grave politeness, just as she would prefer it, which she even notices.

'Miss Mary, you will visit us at Pemberley this summer, won't you? You'll love the library there.'

Mary thanks him for the offer and promises she will come, she is very curious.

'Papa told me about your library in London, Mr Darcy, and he said the one at Pemberley is three times the size?'

'It is, Miss Mary, we have a special bell in the library to announce dinner, since people tend to lose track of time there.'

Having greeted her daughter and undoubtedly admired her beautiful riding dress, Mrs Bennet is now opening the present and she exclaims in delight at her first sight of the little clock. Simon was spot on once again.

It is a nice piece, white lacquered wood ornamented with curls of gold leaf, with a gold-worked white dial and gold-plated hands and Roman numerals. It looks stunning.

Mrs Bennet is actually speechless for once.

Darcy smiles ingratiatingly and observes, 'I'm certain you have a mantle that can use a little ornament like that, and of course it runs very well, too.'

'It is just beautiful, Mr Darcy, thank you very much.'

Points scored.

Darcy merely bows to his mother-in-law, it is a trifle after all, and takes a quick look at what Elizabeth is doing at the moment.

She is just shaking hands with Wickham, and he holds on to hers a tiny bit longer than strictly appropriate, but of course they're brother and sister now. Now he is talking to her, and first she smiles and her face goes soft, but that is not the end of their interaction. Elizabeth clearly doesn't like the rest of what he says, but Darcy can see that because he knows her so well, to Wickham she must look politely interested.

'You are more beautiful than ever, my dear sister, as your esteemed husband just told Mrs Wickham, marriage clearly agrees with you.'

Wickham's address is as gentle and polite as ever, and he has a certain melancholy air that becomes him really well, but Elizabeth is not fooled by her former favourite. This man is manipulative, and though she smiles at his compliments, she is constantly aware of that.

'Thank you, Mr Wickham, you look fine yourself.'

'We used to be rather close, my dear sister, and though I realise I've lost the right to your compassion, can I implore you to take a turn in the garden together after tea? We shared so many thoughts in the past, and I would impose on you for half an hour to do so once again. Please?'

Elizabeth would dare call his expression not so much melancholy anymore, but rather tortured. Something is bothering Wickham very much, and though Elizabeth cannot justify his way of life and his actions, she cannot mercilessly deny him what he asks for either. It is not that much, she, and Fitzwilliam, will get over it.

'All right, Mr Wickham, I'll lend you my ear for half an hour. But first I have duties to my mother and father, and husband.'

That seems to be painful to him, husband, and Elizabeth cannot help trying to narrow it down a bit more. Is it the term 'husband' in general, doesn't Wickham like being a husband? Or does this concern Fitzwilliam, doesn't he like Elizabeth being married to Mr Darcy?

'You know, Mr Wickham, that I didn't have a clue my beloved was going to give my mother a present? It was such a pleasant surprise.'

It's Fitzwilliam, no doubt about it, hearing Elizabeth talk about him with sincere affection is agony to Wickham. There is nothing he dares say at the present, though, so he merely bows in acknowledgement and turns towards the rest of the party, to receive the rather indecent affections of his wife, who runs towards him like the girl she still is, and embraces him, kissing him full on the lips.

Wickham accepts her caresses with indifference and even a bit of embarrassment, Fitzwilliam may indeed congratulate himself on having shackled the shameless philanderer to the woman he tempted into sin, a woman who will not make him happy. Since that woman is her own sister, Elizabeth should feel some fear at Lydia's fate, but for now Lydia seems very happy with her husband, Elizabeth is certain she would marry Wickham again even if she could be made to realise he will never love her.

Observing her sister and her sister's husband, Elizabeth suddenly feels a hand take her own, and a bit of warm breath in her hair. Looking up she can see Fitzwilliam bending over her with a loving smile, and tightly controlled merriment in his eyes.

'I want to kiss you right now, but that would be very indecent, and injurious to my dignity,' he says softly, 'so please consider yourself embraced and kissed.'

Smiling infatuatedly, Elizabeth cannot see herself but she is pretty sure she must look totally smitten, she imagines Fitzwilliam taking her in his arms, his nice, manly scent enveloping her, then his lips on hers, the taste of his mouth, the feel of his tongue against hers. With a bit of difficulty she dismisses the image, she's in company.

'Done! Thank you so much for the kiss, love, it was great, as ever.'

Now his face clearly shows his happiness, and they walk to the drawing-room together, where the familiar servants serve familiar tea with familiar treats.

While Mary, Lydia and her mother still admire the little clock, the latter two loudly discussing where to place it, her father sits with the two of them, obviously very glad to have his favourite daughter back into her parental house, be it just for a few hours.

'This place hasn't been the same without you, dearest Lizzy. And you seem as spry as ever, no sore muscles from our trip yesterday?'

'No, papa, I had a warm bath and a great massage by my faithful husband as soon as we arrived, and I woke up right as rain.'

'Oh, to be young again,' her father remarks with mock-melancholia.

'You don't seem to be suffering from the long ride, Mr Bennet.'

Fitzwilliam either didn't get it, or doesn't want to spoil his father-in-law's joke.

'I'll have you know I can still spend a whole day in the saddle, young man, I'm not that old! It's the massage and what undoubtedly happened after, that I was referring to.'

That does shock Fitzwilliam a little, such an impertinent remark from someone he thought was a gentleman, but he recovers quickly and joins Elizabeth and her father in a hearty laugh. As Elizabeth checks whether her sisters have heard papa's indecency, she can see Wickham sitting alone, not interested in his wife's and her mother's chatting, but not daring to join the other three in their conversation.

Again, she feels sorry for him, and she immediately asks Fitzwilliam, 'Beloved, Mr Wickham asked me to take a stroll in the garden with him, I think he has something on his liver and no-one to show him some sympathy. Would you mind very much if I indulged him? He seems rather forlorn somehow.'

'Do you want to?'

That is not exactly the right expression.

'I don't actually want to, but I don't want to bluntly refuse him either. Let's say I feel I ought to, and I don't really mind talking to him. I have to confess to being quite curious how things are between them.'

'Well, you are brother and sister after all, and I know for a certainty he has no family left in this world to confide in.'

'Let the girl do her duty to my favourite son-in-law, Darcy, can't have him moping about on a wedding after all, and we'll retreat to my library and compare notes on a certain disease that is ravaging the less fortunate in the part of this world I feel responsible for. It's supposed to have come from the north, have you heard of it?'

That has Fitzwilliam's attention instantly, Elizabeth can remember Mrs Annesley talking about such a disease when Elizabeth visited Pemberley with her aunt Gardiner, if this is the same sickness, it is serious, and Fitzwilliam knows how to prevent more people from dying, the landowners in Derbyshire successfully combated it with clean water and better disposal of human waste.

'Didn't Bingley tell you about that? He was there when we discussed it one whole evening.'

They are already in deep conversation, and moving towards the library, Fitzwilliam kissing Elizabeth absently as Mr Bennet replies.

'Bingley only heard of this neighbourhood being struck less than a week ago, remember, he doesn't have any villages or poor among his dependants, he just leases the house and the hunting grounds. He told me to ask you, but somehow London caused me to forget.'

As they leave the room, talking with animation, Elizabeth throws Wickham a significant look, and he gets up and starts to excuse himself to his wife and mother-in-law.

Elizabeth acts as if she is still living here, not a visitor, for she merely announces, 'I'm in the garden,' then leaves the room, has her coat fetched and waits in the hall for Wickham.

He doesn't take much longer to get there, and without giving him the chance to take her arm, she steps outside, into the winter cold. Apparently he can take a hint, for even here he doesn't try to walk arm in arm, as they used to, but he does walk as close to her as is still decent.

Elizabeth has learned to be silent and just enjoy the moment, and despite being with Wickham there is plenty to enjoy, it is so good to be back at Longbourn, the garden and the house look as if they are made of sugar with their coating of snow, the sky is blue now, though it feels like more snow may be coming soon. Never mind, Fitzwilliam's black probably knows the way to Netherfield, and Daisy follows him everywhere.

How long has it been since she was here last? Two months? Nearly three?

'Are you happy, Elizabeth?'

Wickham obviously cannot bear the silence anymore, of course he did have something he wanted to talk about.