Ok this is an idea I've had since around July, and I FINALLY finished it after almost five months. The initial idea was just Roldric (Cedric x Roland) during Cedric's teen years, but over the time I was writing it, Cedrelei (Cedric x Lorelei) and Rolelei (Roland x Cedric) got added in as well. So yeah, welcome to my Cedric/Lorelei/Roland love triangle story that is actually a triangle. Enjoy!
TW for suicidal thoughts & referenced bullying.
Even four years following the Sorcerers' Ball Incident, Cedric still bends behind corners, lurks in the shadows, flinches at his father's bark. In his dreams, faint visions swim up before his eyes: Cordelia's ruined hair, Father glaring at him from across the workshop, Roland as he turns his back, striding swiftly away down an endless corridor. In his waking hours, Cedric's world smolders at the edges; he sees everything through a haze of ashes — a remnant from when his world burst into flames that one day.
In contrast, Roland stalks through the halls as if he were a god, crushing flowers and people alike under his heel. It would only be a matter of time before he would grind Lorelei down to dust, cocoon her in layers of silk and jewels, teach her to hide her smile behind the graceful flutter of a fan. And one day, the son would replace the father, and Roland II would be ordained king. The crown would become his halo, and Cedric would prostrate himself at Roland's feet, chain himself to the throne, cursed forever to serve a tyrant.
As children, he and Roland used to sneak out into the hallways late at night, the stars sparking above them, Enchancia resting below. Back then, when they'd played tag, hide and seek, built forts out of blankets in the darkness. Cedric had been the excellent hider out of the two of them, even then, his skills honed from ducking under desks, cloaking himself behind shadows, cowering in school bathrooms. Roland had never been good at hiding, but hiding was never a skill he'd needed to learn. Giving orders was his forte; all he knew was how to run, to command.
Lorelei was the only one who didn't treat him any differently following the Incident. Some nights, they climbed up onto the roof of his tower to watch the castle grounds in companionable silence. He sat with his legs dangling over the edge, her with her arms pleated over her dress. From up there, the guards marching on patrol could have been ants, the lights from their torches candleglow.
Don't you ever want to get away from this place? he once asked her, breaking the silence for the first time in days.
Not particularly, she answered, hand twisting through her hair, no. I would much rather stay here with you.
I mean if we could do it together. Beyond them, village lights glowed invitingly. Because I do. I think about it all the time.
I don't mind the loneliness, he could have told her, but that would have been a lie. Loneliness was like black poison in his mind, gashing and twisting and straining his thoughts darker.
Your family will come around. They always do. Lorelei turned her face toward him, moonlight reflecting in her eyes. And you must know that we both have a duty to serve our kingdom.
He breathed out deeply and shifted his gaze upward, staring into the stars. Someday, he said, someday I want to build a flying machine. If I had one, do you imagine the places I would visit? I could leap right off this tower and it would catch me — I'll soar right out of their reach. Nobody would be able to make fun of me again.
Once, during one of their nighttime adventures, Cedric had woken just as the sun was dawning. Roland's head rested on his shoulder, the early morning sun dappling his cheeks. He'd looked like an angel then, and for one moment, all Cedric had wanted to do was kiss him. Touch his lips to the skin like a fly drawn to buttermilk.
It was a wonder he didn't burst into flames then and there.
He pretended to be asleep when his father found them, two bodies tangled together in the blankets, but really his heart was hammering, mind fixated on the possibility that Father could hear his sinful thoughts. The shame burned hot in his chest as Father carried him back to their tower and tucked him gently into bed, smoothing down the comforter while muttering heavily, You foolish boys, thinking you could ever be equals.
Following the proposal, Cedric met Lorelei on the roof one final time. She was dressed in silk, a ruby ring glinting on her finger.
Come with me, he urged her, desperation flooding his voice.
Cedric. She paused, eyes flicking downward to focus on the bright lights of the village. After a few moments, she opened her mouth. I know how you feel about Roland — and truly I understand your situation — but he isn't terrible, isn't as bad as he seems.
He looked away miserably. Of course you don't see him the same way. His eyes traced the streets in the village, counted each light on the horizon. You could never understand. My family — they think — everyone thinks I'm nobody. His eyes broke off from the ground, drifting back up to her face. While you — you're perfect, Lorelei.
She interrupted him with a kiss, lips ladybug red pressed to his cheek.
When they disengaged, she grabbed his hand, clasping it to her chest. I wish things could have been different, but this is the path life has given us. Duty calls. She stepped back, shoe scraping the roof. Goodbye, Cedric.
With that, she headed toward the ladder, leaving him on the roof. Wind swept through the air, and across the castle's moat, the lights from the village winked alluringly. His foot toed the line of the roof, and for a moment he could imagine himself leaping off to glide in search of a paradise, winged just like in his childhood fantasies.
He doesn't know why he does it, but Father always did say that he was born wrong. The moment I set my eyes on him, Cedric once heard him say during an argument between his parents, I knew that boy was strange, knew he was trouble.
What was one more wrong in his father's eyes?
Roland perches on his seat next to his father's empty throne, jewels gleaming on his vest. His hand caresses Cedric's face, pulling him closer.
You're beautiful, you know? Roland whispers. If only your talent was comparable to your looks. The hand on Cedric's face twitches. Now kneel at my feet.
Cedric kisses him to burn away the memories. Whenever he closes his eyes, he sees the ballroom filled with ashes, grey as his sister's ruined hair, his father's eyes smoldering through like embers, a certain death looming at the edge of a drop. And so he keeps his eyes open, staring endlessly into the void of Roland's godly eyes, searing the image into his brain, wondering if this could be his salvation at last —
He kisses him; it feels like immolation. He finally understands now, why someone would want this. When his world burst into flames, burned down to ashes that one evening, he's felt cold ever since. He would give anything to feel the fire again. Roland's mouth is a kiln, and he is left cauterized. He feels like a dragon that could breathe fire, even if only for a moment, but really, he is a charred dead thing roasting over the coals.
He'll let Roland take him up to the roof, just like he and Lorelei used to do. Dusky skies above them, the kingdom below. It was a secret that only the two of them had shared. Look at Cedric now; the shame could kill him.
He always wanted to build a flying machine as a child. He dreamed of leaping off of buildings and towers, taking flight right before hitting the ground, soaring into the horizon in search of a warm enticing glow. But now, if he looks down, if he lets go, there wouldn't be anything to catch him. The heat of his breath would ignite his wings. He'd spiral off the tower, sent down in a blaze of glory.
He'd land in the moat, the water extinguishing his flames. The lights of the village would be nothing but pinpricks far in the distance, growing ever distant as his body sinks further downward.
You can find me on tumblr at tenapricots.