Chapter 50

When Darcy returns to the drawing-room, expecting to find Georgie deep in conversation with Mr Fielding, he is greeted by unabashedly romantic music, obviously played by Mr Fielding since he has never heard the likes of it, but no Georgie in sight.

Mr Fielding is lost in his playing, so Darcy merely picks up a newspaper to catch up on the local news. Why would Georgiana have left? They cannot have quarrelled, he is convinced this manner of informal playing reflects Mr Fielding's mood directly, and it exudes hope, and higher feelings.

Georgie must have retired for a nap after their long hours of travel and a demanding lesson almost immediately following up on it.

'Mr Darcy! Have you been here long? I'm sorry to have intruded on your privacy with my constant playing, you should have warned me when you came in!'

'If constant playing bothered me, Mr Fielding, I would have had a music-room furnished in my house years ago. I have a near-boundless tolerance for music, Miss Darcy spends whole days at the piano as well. The reason why I have arranged for your piano to be moved tomorrow is not that I want to banish you to your own room for practise, it's because you'd get into a fight with Georgiana over who gets to use it.'

And now Mr Fielding betrays his feelings for the very first time in Darcy's presence, his face goes positively soft and he says dreamily, 'I could never fight with Miss Darcy over anything.'

'Then you'll never get any time on the piano, for she may have be a meek pupil so far, but you're on her turf now, and she'll defend her piano vehemently.'

Mr Fielding clearly doesn't believe such a description of his obedient student, his next words clearly prove he thinks Georgie must be an innocent angel.

'Thank you so much for helping me, Mr Darcy, imagine where I'd be if you hadn't. I'm afraid I may have frightened Miss Darcy somewhat, sir, in our talk and afterwards when I played in her presence. I'm afraid some of my shock and my feelings of betrayal and guilt came through, and she left in a hurry.

She's still so young, I should have controlled myself better. We've hardly ever spoken before, and she did tell me she looked up to me as her instructor.'

'I wouldn't worry too much over that, Mr Fielding, she's had a long day and a demanding lesson. And she does admire you, to have you around all the time is going to be a bit intense at first.

And anyway, don't expect to be able to hide anything from Miss Darcy, she may be quiet, but she is very observant, and very subtle, I don't even think you could hide these feelings from her. She'd read them in your face or your posture, and hear them in your music.

I tried to hide something from her once, and I never knew she had seen right through me until she confronted me with the exact problem I was facing. She'd worked it out all by herself.

So don't worry about my sister, she's almost grown, she can handle your feelings.'

Georgiana is indeed upset, but by her own feelings, not Eric's. To have behaved like that, so indecently, and totally on impulse. And the strange feeling that caused it, that spark of tenderness towards Eric, was that love?

If it was, it will grow stronger no doubt, making her feel flushed around him all the time, not just when he is playing, and she'll want to touch him all the time, and be with him. It will be very interesting to finally be in love, but also disconcerting, in each other's company constantly, and even worse, with Mr Manners around, too.

She has told Mr Manners she has never loved, and now she may be falling in love after all, and not with him.

An hour's quiet contemplation settles her feelings reasonably well, though she still feels rather bad about touching him so very indecently. But if he hadn't told her he loved her in such heart-rending music, she would never have felt like touching him at all.

It was partly her own lack of control, but his music touched her so deeply, who could have resisted it?

Well, it can't be helped now, what's done is done, and she'll have to face him over dinner. Better go back to the drawing-room right away, then they can both find some occupation to hide the embarrassment Georgiana has caused them.

Still, she feels some reluctance walking down the stairs, crossing the hall she can hear music again, she must have died and gone to heaven, for she realises just now that she can ask Eric advice any time she likes, he will not refuse her, he loves her.

He'll sit right beside her and look at her in a certain way, and she'll smell his cologne. Her hand still feels the softness of his hair, and she vaguely remembers he smelled differently when she kissed him.

That's it, now she knows. She's smitten. It this what love truly is? The constant urge to touch someone, to catch a hint of their scent, to relive those moments of intimacy over and over again without a single thought of reluctance or shame?

Is Eric struggling to keep from touching her every time they sit on that stool together? Is he aching to touch her hair, how did he lean over a piano with her without brushing his hand against hers?

Easily enough, she guesses. Had he done such a thing, she would have been shocked, and he would have lost his job as teacher and his chance to ever see her again. And Georgiana knows she can show the same discipline, isn't that what being a pianist is all about? Practising for hours each day, not allowing yourself a single mistake, playing it over and over again until you do it right.

If he can do it, she can do it.

By the time she dares enter the room, she has made the resolution to hide her feelings as well as Eric does, at least until she has an idea of what life would be like as a pianist's wife. And until he has proven beyond doubt that he has a mild side, not just the driving ambition that has characterized him as a person so far.

And she wants to learn to play what he plays now, it must be horrendously difficult, and it lacks the feeling his own compositions exude, but boy do those Mozart sonatas sound impressive!

Apparently, sonatas don't even require Eric to concentrate to the exclusion of everything else, for he looks up at her entrance, and smiles sweetly, but without infatuation. Good, it won't do to rile up Fitzwilliam before anything is certain.

Her brother looks up from a newspaper and also smiles. Two such handsome men smiling at her, how can a girl stay out of sorts for any stretch of time?

'Georgie! You're back. Did you take a nap? You must have been exhausted after the trip and your lesson. Mr Fielding was afraid he'd frightened you off by talking about his feelings over his falling out with his patron. But I told him you are not that easily impressed, are you?'

Not by those feelings her brother mentions, no. And not by mere talk either.

'I guess it was a bit tiring, the trip and the lesson, but I'm fine again and eager to learn more about the sonata you were just playing, Mr Fielding. And my brother is right, Mr Fielding, you do not have to hide your feelings from me, I can handle them, I'm as good as grown up.'

Eric looks at Fitzwilliam helplessly, and her brother laughs out loud and observes, 'Well, there's at least half an hour left before dinner is served. Are you up to some entertainment tonight, Georgie? Or do you prefer to stay in tonight and listen to Mr Fielding play?

I thought we could go to the theatre tonight, all three of us, if we let ourselves be entertained I may be spared from missing my dear lady too much.'

Oh yes, poor Fitzwilliam! His first night without his beloved, and Georgiana has been totally self-involved.

'Of course I don't mind going to the theatre, but can we choose a comedy? I will probably get pretty tired tonight, and I'd prefer not to have to think too much. You will come with us, won't you, Mr Fielding?'

Eric cannot seem to believe that they want him along.

'Won't I be in your way? I cannot believe you'd truly want me to come with you, I'm sorry, I don't want to seem rude or ungrateful.'

This is getting pretty tiring, and rather difficult, to keep wanting to touch him, and make him smile again, yet having to stop herself from doing just that. Georgiana fervently hopes it will get easier in a few days, most things become routine, why is she so afraid this will not? If only Elizabeth were here, Georgiana knows she cannot keep this a secret from the entire world, she has to talk to someone, and Elizabeth will understand.

'I actually think we need you to come, Mr Fielding, not only are you very welcome to join us in enjoying the entertainment London has to offer, Georgie and I are both the silent type, we can spend a whole night in each other's company without saying a single word. Happily, I may add.

But that will not keep my thoughts from my beloved wife, so I'm begging you to come with us and force us to keep some conversation going, or I will not be able to sleep a wink tonight. Elizabeth is worth a sleepless night, I know, I've spend dozens of them before she accepted my offer of marriage, but why suffer when one can be entertained?'

'In that case, Mr Darcy, I'll join you and gladly so. I love seeing other people perform, and I enjoy both your company very much indeed.

I'm looking forward to it.'

And since Fitzwilliam's interest is soon back to the paper, Georgiana accepts Eric's unspoken invitation to sit beside him at the piano, where her urge to snuggle a bit closer than usual is easily overcome by her eagerness to learn to play the sonata.

Of course one cannot learn to play a sonata in three quarters of an hour, but they spend that time in such a comfortable manner, talking more than usual during a formal lesson, Eric almost gay and playful, though very correct, Georgiana secretly relishing their closeness and his occasional touch.

She no longer resists the exultant feeling she gets from this, she decides to save her energy to not let it show too much, and to resist her impulse to reciprocate. The feeling of his lips on hers, actually the reverse, but the feeling is the same, isn't it?, it lingers, but she finds she can quite easily resist the temptation to do it again.

Long before she tires of their interaction, dinner is served, and they move to the dining-room together.

'Miss Darcy, your eagerness to soak up knowledge has totally made my day,' Eric announces happily.

'I feel so much lighter than the last week, I have never lived in the past or contemplated it much, but I've felt such doubt about spending every minute of my life on music, and now I'm totally convinced once again it is what I was born to do. I don't particularly like playing sonatas, I think they're soulless pieces written to brag technical prowess, but teaching them is an entirely different matter. It's great fun!'

He eats well, again, though he is rather slim, and Georgiana finds herself wondering whether he is a sportsman at all.

'Do you ride and hunt, Mr Fielding?'

'I wish I did, Miss Darcy, but unfortunately I never got to learn. I wrestled and fenced in college, and I wasn't at all bad at team sports like cricket, but my patron preferred I'd steer clear of any activity that might induce serious physical harm, so I never got to play football either.'

Fitzwilliam obviously thinks that a shame, riding and hunting used to be his life's pleasures, before he met Elizabeth, that is. Of course she has adapted magnificently, learning to ride herself, and Georgiana is resolute to try herself next spring.

'Are you afraid to get hurt, Mr Fielding?'

Is there a measure of challenge in her brother's voice? As most other gentlemen, Fitzwilliam does measure manliness on a scale heavily weighed with physical prowess, and though Eric can probably break her brother's hands with the strength in those slim fingers, he'd never risk any hurt to them.

To Georgiana that doesn't make him less a man, but to her brother it may.

But Eric takes the challenge frankly.

'I cannot guarantee I wouldn't feel afraid the first time I mounted a horse or heard a gun go off next to my ear, sir, but I'd sure like to test myself.'

'In that case, Mr Fielding, you'd better come with us to Pemberley this spring, I have a stable-boy who can teach you the principles of riding a horse in a few weeks. I can instruct you on the use of a gun myself, in fact, Mrs Darcy is planning to join the hunt next season, I cannot see why you wouldn't as well, unless you are otherwise engaged by then, of course.

Your ambitions must not be hindered by a gentleman's amusements, if he opportunity to develop your talent abroad should arise, you should of course take it. Though knowing how to ride and hunt will recommend you to the good graces of most influential people of standing, I'm sure.'

'Please, come, Mr Fielding, you can play my Clementi if you do.'

Georgiana can hardly control her excitement, to have her lessons even when residing at Pemberley. And to learn to ride together, and maybe Fitzwilliam will allow his sister to learn to shoot.

And to be with Eric.

If he doesn't find a mentor in Vienna, or Geneva, or Paris.

Eric bows gracefully and acknowledges, 'If I am at liberty at that time to accept your hospitality, I will surely do so very gladly. Thank you so much for your kind offer, Mr Darcy, in a way I think I'd like to learn things not connected to music, I'm feeling a distinct lack of worldly knowledge. I've been raised very sheltered, to be very good at just one thing, playing a piano. But my current situation has reminded me I know nothing else.

Of course it would be great fun as well, to spend time with your family at your estate. It is reputedly one of the most beautiful places in England.'

'So you'll come?'

'Yes, please, if circumstances allow.'

Fitzwilliam now thinks for a moment, then asks, 'Mr Fielding, I do not want to push you towards anything, but would you appreciate learning some of those other skills? Like handling money, running a household, directing servants, doing accounts? All sorts of useful stuff, should you need to manage your affairs at some time in your life?

Frankly, enabling you to take charge of your own life?

I've learned them, though few of my class have, most employ a steward for those tasks, but my father urged me to learn anyway. Not all stewards are dependable after all.'

That is a veritable eye-opener to Eric, and nothing less to Georgiana. Wouldn't that be the perfect way to start her exploration of possibly living with a pianist? Knowing what things cost? Knowing where to get them? Knowing how to run a household, at least in theory?

If she finds out she cannot do it, she may be in time to crush her fancy for Eric and choose a rich, dominant man like Mr Manners. For the trouble with Mr Grenfell has not only proven her estimation of that gentleman to have been rather astute, it has also given her some added insight in Mr Manners' nature.

He may be a true gentleman and very well-bred, he is also a very strong character and used to being obeyed. Even by Fitzwilliam Darcy, apparently.

'I cannot think of one reason why I didn't even consider learning those things earlier, Mr Darcy. If I'm to ever be self-reliant, I need to know. I'll never be able to afford a steward.'

Fitzwilliam laughs, and replies, 'I know only too well how easy it is to let others take care of the tedious stuff. Mr Zumpe kept them far away from you and urged you to improve your musical skills, because they were worth more to him.

I don't need to get my money's worth from you, Mr Fielding, I'm not a business man, I'm a land-owner, my duties lie with my people.

Let me think on this tonight, and maybe tomorrow on the road back to Hertfordshire, and when we return I will help you acquire those skills you'll need to arrange your own affairs and possibly start a business of your own.'

'I want to participate, Fitzwilliam.'

Georgiana can see surprise on both faces.

'Yes, why should I not need to be able to know when I'm being cheated, or when I'm spending too much money? Who says I'll always be rich, or in the care of a man? Why should I not know how to run a household?'

To her delight, both faces nod, and her brother offers, 'Elizabeth told me she knows how to do these things, she said she had no reason to expect she'd ever marry into an independent income, so she thought she had to learn.

Though you have your own fortune, Georgie, or maybe because you have your own fortune, you are right, you should know, too.

Well then, I suppose I'll explain the theory, but you'll get your practical education from the people who do the actual work around here, Simon and Mrs Annesley, and at Pemberley there will be Mrs Reynolds and my steward. Though all of these people are busy, I suppose they can spare both of you half an hour now and then.

Though Mrs Reynolds will look at me in a certain way to show me her disapproval in Georgie's case. Still, that cannot be helped.'

Satisfied with a good idea to build upon, they spend some time planning the rest of their evening until it is time to dress for the theatre, checking the paper which comedies are running at the moment.

'Let's do something mad, and go to this one,' Fitzwilliam suggests.

'But Mr Darcy, that is in a terrible part of town, you cannot possibly take Miss Darcy there, can you?'

Her brother merely smiles cheekily and offers, 'Why not? We'll have ourselves dropped off at the doors, and picked up straight after the show. Frankly, I've been to worse theatres, and a terribly run down side-show that I'm planning to take all of you to once the weather turns a bit more forgiving.

This show will be great fun, with buckets of tears, and streams of blood. No-one will bother us, people tend to leave me be even in the worst neighbourhoods. Maybe they remember my father.'

Georgiana knows she must look like a fish.

'That's right, Georgie, according to Mr Wickham, our father often took him to these parts of town to enjoy themselves with all kinds of baser pleasures.

We're not going to try any of those, just a terrible play in a terrible neighbourhood. It'll be fun. If it indeed is, we'll have to take Elizabeth there, and her father.'

Well, Georgiana never knew her father very well, just a vague figure from her early past, and she cannot deny her brother anything, especially not when he must be feeling rather lonely, so she nods her assent. Eric does voice his affirmation.

'I kind of like the idea. If I'm indeed destined to bring music to the lower classes, as your lovely wife seems to think, maybe I should see what moves them first. They may surprise me yet.'

'Not in this show, Mr Fielding, I'm pretty sure it will confirm your worst expectations. But it will be fun nonetheless, we'll take a box and watch them from a safe distance.'

In fact Darcy is a bit apprehensive as they get out of the carriage in front of a large building with elaborate decorations on the outside. They are wearing their usual finery, and it attracts a little more attention than he expected.

But he merely acts as he did when looking for Wickham in a place much like this, and apparently it works, for people make way for him. It helps that Georgie and Mr Fielding are not impressed, or openly disdainful of their surroundings, but merely very interested.

At the ticket-window, Darcy asks for a private box, and he chooses the best one from several that are still available. Then he waves at Bob, who heads back to the stables, to fetch them at eleven.

After having paid for the box, they are led straight through the theatre by a pretty young girl in a gaudy uniform, fortunately one that covers her body, though clearly showing her feminine curves.

His size and demeanour still have the useful effect of people making way for him, and soon they are seated in a spacious private area on the balcony, on luxurious plush seats, with a terrific view on the stage and the hall below.

The girl takes their orders for drinks, then leaves, and they check out the theatre.

It is rather large, and must have been glorious once, and though it has fallen into a certain state of disrepair, it is still rather impressive, and starting to fill up nicely with working-class people and some rather noisy young gentlemen in more expensive suits.

The title of the play was none either of them knew when they read it in the paper, but it sounded like bloody mayhem, which the scenery seems to confirm, it looks like a rickety pirate vessel under a menacing blood red moon, ropes actually flapping constantly against a very real looking mast, and wooden planking creaking, as if the vessel is indeed floating in a secretive inlet of some smuggler's coast, though the play hasn't even started yet.

Someone is paying a lot of attention to the special effects of the whole, and Darcy loves it already.

Since there is no curtain to raise, the start of the actual play is signified by the dimming of the lights in the hall, and the lights on the stage getting a good deal brighter.

The action starts with an exciting night-scene, in which someone is freed from the ship in secret, after which the whole ship disappears from the stage! The scenery is changed into a beautiful room, using a few large pieces of scenery lowered from the ceiling. The work involved in building and painting this, and all the cunning machines and the people operating it! There must be a whole separate cast working behind the scenes! Darcy loves it, he barely looks up when their drinks arrive, he pays and tips the girl for her trouble, still keeping an eye on the action.

Now the plot is revealed, some general's lady has been kidnapped from a ship that was to take her to the colonies, the vile deed apparently done by pirates in the service of some other country.

A hero is sent to get her out, but when he has left the room to fulfil his assignment or die trying, the mourning general shows himself to be the true villain, having set up the kidnapping himself to keep a profitable war going despite efforts to make peace, and get rid of his barren young wife into the bargain.

The whole room disappears once more, and a native village descends in its entirety.

The rest of the play is exciting, drenched in blood, of course the lady and her rescuer fall in love and almost die in a trap of the general's making, find out the true plot and turn the tables on the hero's villainous superior.

In a heart-rending scene the wife watches her lover fight her faithless husband and prevail, but at great cost to himself.

But of course all ends well as the second-in-command discovers his boss' treason and makes everything all right.

By then they have seen the ship several times, from the outside but also stripped to see inside. The village with natives has been the scene of many a fight and an attempted dinner with the hero as main course. And there is a scene in a city, with lots of fights on the ramparts, and men dying to the hero's sword in droves and gallons of blood.

When it is done, Georgie has bright cheeks with excitement, and Mr Fielding, on Darcy's other side, is as flushed as she is.

'That sure was exciting!' is his heartfelt comment. 'I guess they like their entertainment as life-like as possible, no subtleties required or even wanted, just plain action. Even if the action is rather far-fetched, it looks as if it is totally real.

And anyway, I say they, but I liked it, too!'

Georgie is as honest in her praise, 'I loved it, Fitzwilliam, and I think most people would. Thank you for convincing us to go.'

They decide to leave straight away, Bob will be waiting already for it is past eleven, and Georgiana must be very tired, since she takes his arm gladly as he offers it.

'I'm certain we'll have to take all the others to see this, don't you think, Georgie?'

'Yes, Kitty would love it, and so would Elizabeth, I'm sure. Maybe you can make reservations for a large party during their visit? It will be a great hit, I'm sure.'

Before long they are back at the house, and ready to turn in.

'Have you any idea what time you are leaving tomorrow, Mr Darcy?' Mr Fielding wants to know.

'I'd like to be back at Netherfield by dinnertime tomorrow, or Elizabeth will worry, so I guess we'll have to leave just before lunch. Plenty of time to play the piano together, Mr Fielding, and I may even still be here when your piano is delivered, but if I'm not, Mrs Annesley will take care of everything.

Next time, you will be able to arrange such a thing all by yourself.

We will be back in four days if all goes well, and two days after that our family and friends will join us for our Christmas celebrations. You are invited to participate in everything, but not obliged to anything, if you need a little time to yourself do not hesitate to retreat.

There will be a lot of bustle going on in the house, with preparations for our party, I'm afraid that cannot be helped.

If there is any trouble, anything you cannot handle yourself, with your former patron or anyone else, do not hesitate to send for me. I want you to feel safe and at home, so just tell Mrs Annesley, and she'll send for me. It's a mere four hour journey on my horse.

Good night, Mr Fielding, I'm glad we all get along so well.'

And Darcy leaves for his bedroom, to spend an hour on thinking of his beloved before he finally falls asleep.