Chapter 51

Georgiana is left with Mr Fielding, and he looks as if he wants to tell her a thousand things, and ask her a thousand questions. But he doesn't.

Neither does he take her hand and press it to his lips, as she guesses he must be wanting to, judging on her own feelings at the very moment.

But he does look happy and eager for what the future will bring, which was not the case when they first arrived, something that matters a lot to her. Somehow, her rash action of this afternoon has given him some hope, and rightfully so, or maybe it was Fitzwilliam's easy acceptance of his addition to their household. Or maybe both.

They will have a glorious morning together, Georgiana is sure of that, and when they come back Eric will be more more at ease with their presence.

'You're not a great talker, are you, Georgiana?'

'No, I'm sorry. Fitzwilliam and I can easily be silent for a whole morning and not mind one bit.'

'I don't mind either, though I'm not used to people not talking incessantly. But I'm sure I will get used to it very quickly, especially since whenever the two of you do speak, it makes terrific sense.'

'Sooner or later one of us is going to slip with the Mr and the Miss, you do realise that, don't you, Eric?'

'I do. You're not suggesting I should call you Miss Darcy again, are you?'

'No, I guess we'll take what's coming when we do bungle. But Elizabeth knows, so I suppose my brother also knows, and still he leaves us by ourselves all the time.

Eric, I'm sorry for what I did this afternoon. It was indecent, and if I gave you any pain or embarrassed you in any way, I apologise.'

He swallows hard, and his beautiful eyes catch her in an intense gaze.

'Please don't feel bad, Georgiana, it is I who should apologise. Most people around me don't experience music as I do, I'm used to being among those who feel its beauty but don't understand it literally. You understand my music word for word, exactly as it springs from my mind, and this afternoon I told you something that may be an incredible burden for you to know.'

Georgiana has to clasp her hands behind her back firmly, for the urge to stroke his cheek and kiss him is getting stronger and stronger. Eric doesn't seem to notice at all, he's blaming himself for what happened.

'What you did, Georgiana, was a reaction to my confession and my earlier despair. Had you been able to refrain from trying to comfort me, after what you had just heard, you would have proven yourself totally heartless, which you certainly aren't.

I don't blame you, I don't even blame myself for what happened. From now on I just need to be careful what part of myself I burden you with through my music, and I promise you, I will be more careful in the future. I have no right to force my feelings on you, even in the shape of the most beautiful music I've ever made.'

But, he has it all wrong! She wasn't just trying to comfort him, that was a profound moment to her, the awakening of her best feelings. He has to know, she cannot leave tomorrow with him thinking she was merely trying to make up for his depressed state.

'Eric, that wasn't just empathy. Your music woke something inside me, and it's been stirring ever since. It's not totally aware yet, it's still taking measure of its surroundings, feeling its way in the dark carefully before it finally shows itself.'

He understands what she is saying, but he cannot believe it.

'What I did to you, Eric, was the result of that spark bursting into life, I hadn't felt that before and the strength of it overcame me for a few moments. But it hasn't extinguished since, it's making itself felt every time I am in your presence.

Since it is so new, I will keep it in check, and give myself time to adjust to its stirrings before I act on them.

But I very much want to get to know the real you, for you were right, I did think you were a taskmaster and though I liked you as a teacher, I looked up to you too much to really want to know you as a person. Today has changed that, but I need to know you even better, and for you to know me better.

I want to be with you, though it presents new challenges because of that thing stirring inside me, wanting to repeat this afternoon again and again. If you have one of those things pushing you to act as it tells you, I admire you even more than I already did, for I see nothing of it.

Well, now you know. Please have patience with me, I'm still so very young, and I've been raised to expect a certain life after my childhood. Like being married to a wealthy man and play piano for him and raise his children. If I am to change my future, I need time to come to terms with that, same as you do moving to this house, facing uncertainty about your continuing development as a pianist, and your future as a composer.'

She can even look at him as she says this, it's not exactly a declaration of love, more of the possibility of love. He is still moved almost to tears.

'Georgiana, you give me hope. Let's stick with that for now, get to know one another and have fun together. And learn a lot together, about life.

And yes, I have one of those things, too, it's very insistent. But if you keep it in check tightly, as you rule your piano when you play, it will get easier, I promise.

And I promise not to play such things for you as will make it stronger and more insistent, until you ask me to.'

Seeing her disappointment, he shakes his head, 'It cannot be, Georgiana, I dare not risk spoiling this, too much is riding on it for me. You're only at the brink, but I'm in over my head, if I have to face the possibility of the dreams I have worked towards since my childhood coming to nothing, I would at least want to dream another beautiful dream.

Let's turn in quickly, mine is now urging me to acknowledge how much you've changed in the short time we've know each other, and how beautiful and mature you have become. I cannot let it win, for it would ruin everything, now more than ever.

Do you agree to tackle that sonata tomorrow, so you can work on it until your return to London? It'll keep your mind and your hands busy, and stun your rivals.'

'Let's do that, Eric. Good night!'

'Good night, Georgiana!'

He nearly runs off, but now she knows why, it doesn't matter. Life is beautiful, so much to learn, and so many possibilities to explore. Dare she confide in Elizabeth, or will that be an unfair confidence to put upon her sister?

Is is really necessary to keep these things from Fitzwilliam? Hasn't he virtually given her permission to fall in love with Eric by treating him as a visiting gentleman, and by allowing the two of them to be alone together?

There is so much to think of, how will she ever find sleep tonight?

But after the excitement and the events of the day, of course she is asleep almost before her head touches her pillow.

Darcy expects to lie awake for at least an hour, but apparently the day has taken more out of him than he expects. It is lonely, being in a bed all by himself, but he can feel his eyes become heavy, and soon he is fast asleep as well.

The next morning he does wake early, and since there is no use in staying in bed all by himself, he gets up and dresses, eager for this day to move on so he can go back to his beloved.

As he moves downstairs to read the paper until the others are ready for breakfast, he is amazed to hear the piano. At this hour already? And he thought Georgie was single-minded, but Mr Fielding really beats all, if that's what is needed for true excellence, Georgiana can only learn a lot from his presence in their household.

But one doesn't live in one house with a pianist for years and not learn their style, and this sounds like Georgie playing, though it's the sonata Mr Fielding introduced him to yesterday. They're already working!

As if to prove it, the music stops, then starts again, the same bit as before. It's really not bad at all, Georgie is still improving so much.

And indeed he finds his sister and his guest together at the piano, they do make a good couple, both tall and beautiful, he is dark, she fair, both are young and obviously completely obsessed with a piece of music.

The paper can wait a few moments, Darcy observes the interaction between the two young people, and is struck by the way they seem to complement each other, Mr Fielding doesn't so much correct Georgie's stance as sit up a little straighter himself and she follows suit. They communicate with body-language rather than words, sensible when making a lot of sound they both need to follow accurately, but somehow also an inevitable consequence of a new intimacy between them, a familiarity they didn't use to have.

As Georgie plays the same sequence for the third time, Darcy hearing improvement each time, incredible since he didn't hear any mistakes in the first place, the fourth time apparently can bear Mr Fielding's approval, for he smiles and adds a subtle accompaniment to what Georgie is playing.

There is no sheet music to that, Darcy is sure, the man is making that up on the spot, and as far as he can hear it's possibly even more complicated than the original, and still both match perfectly.

When the sequence is done, Georgie doesn't stop, apparently she cannot let go of this perfect harmony yet, and she plays until Mr Fielding stops her.

Now he does speak, softly, and Darcy wonders whether they know he's here.

'That was very good, Miss Darcy, if we keep practising together like this you'll soon start catching up on my skills. Shall we have breakfast with Mr Darcy first? And then I'd like to try something, if you don't mind. I'd very much like to test if you can hear my mistakes.

If you do, it would make my own efforts to improve a lot less futile, plus you'd get to slap my fingers.'

Of course Georgie is flattered, who wouldn't be?

'I'd love to be able to help you, Mr Fielding.'

'Thank you so much, Miss Darcy. We'll start with one I know I have but cannot get the better of. But now I can no longer hear the music for the sound of my stomach rumbling.'

During breakfast, Georgie wants to know, 'Did you sleep well, Fitzwilliam? Or did you lie awake half the night yearning for Elizabeth?'

'I'm ashamed to admit I fell asleep straight away. Please don't tell her, she'll think I don't love her enough.'

'As if anyone would ever believe that. Whenever you think of her your expression changes. I love seeing you so happy, Fitzwilliam.

Tonight you'll have her in your arms again.'

'And you, Mr Fielding,' he asks their guest, a bit embarrassed to have Georgie tease him with his infatuation before a virtual stranger, 'did we manage to lay your doubts to rest a little bit, to enable you to sleep well?'

That actually startles the young man, and he colours a little as he replies, 'You certainly did give me some hope for the future, both of you, to have such in faith in me.

But somehow that kept me awake a long time, imagining what such a future might be like. Having said that, I must admit it was a pleasant kind of lying awake, more like savouring the moment than a lack of rest.'

And he truly means it, his ambition is back full swing, he's looking positively glad. Good.

After breakfast, Darcy allows himself half an hour to watch his sister and Mr Fielding pick up a new challenge. As Georgiana plays that sonata again, Mr Fielding rummages in a large leather case filled with papers, taking a few sheets of music out with great purpose, he obviously has them well-sorted.

He sits next to Georgiana, who stops playing instantly, then exchanges the music sheets.

'I thought I'd play this, will you do me the honour of listening, not to enjoy, but to find fault. I'll play it once in its entirety, then again, and the second time I want you to stop me if you hear something amiss.

Then I'll tell you what bothers me, and you can nudge me every time I do that, so I become aware of it. And then I'll hope you will start to recognise that mistake and nudge me in everything I play for a few days. As I did for you with all of your little habits so far.

Let me just start.'

And before Georgie can give him an answer, he plays a sequence of about a minute, very intricate and not at all as feeling as his own work. That is probably to make it easier on Georgie, it would be impossible to find fault in those compositions, they have too much impact on the mind.

From where he is sitting, Darcy can see his sister watching and listening intently, and when Mr Fielding is done, she asks, 'Were you by any chance born left-handed?'

He looks more than a little impressed, then smiles broadly.

'I was, I was taught to write right-handed at public school, mercilessly I might say. You found my fatal flaw, Miss Darcy, my left little finger is a fraction weaker and slower than it should be. When I concentrate, I can make it keep up, but as soon as my attention goes to other difficulties it falls behind again.

Can you keep me alert? I hope that I can make it a habit that way.'

Georgie shakes her head decidedly and contradicts herself.

'Of course I can, but it won't work. You little finger is weaker because you have never trained it properly. I'm right-handed, and I need to exercise my left hand constantly or it will weaken altogether. Because you are left-handed naturally but using your right you probably never had that problem, your hands have developed similarly. You probably use left for as many things as right, am I correct?'

'That is true, I do as many things left-handed as I do right. And I've never had to exercise one hand more than the other, no.'

'But how can it be that your master in Prague never corrected this?'

'I suppose it only surfaces in these technical pieces, we studied a different form of music. Also, I concentrated really hard whenever I played for him, I can make it obey me, but I hoped to get rid of the problem altogether.

Where did you learn those exercises?'

'My first teacher showed me, he had arthritis and his fingers needed time to warm up for him to be able to play, and he thought that since I was a little girl with little hands I might benefit, too. I've used them ever since.

Here, let me show you.'

And Georgie shows him some rhythmic movement of her hand which he emulates, and this time it's her turn to gently take his hand and show him exactly how it's done.

Darcy cannot resist this opportunity to check what her touch does to Mr Fielding, and his ladies are right, the young man relishes Georgie holding his hand in her own.

But he can also see that Mr Fielding really wants to learn this, while his feelings probably make it more difficult to understand what she is trying to explain, he makes a serious effort to imitate the exercise, and two more involving the lower arm and the hand, and when Georgie is satisfied with his efforts, he can't wait to try the effect.

Of course Darcy cannot hear any difference, but Georgie doesn't nudge Mr Fielding even once. Either he's doing better, or she doesn't see the use in poking him.

'That was better, not perfect, but it felt different already. I'm going to do those exercises every day, and when you return from Hertfordshire maybe you'll hear the difference already. Thank you so much, Miss Darcy!'

'Thank you, Mr Fielding, for spending so much time on me. I'm glad I can return the favour. I wish I could stay to practise all day, but I suppose that would be unforgivably rude towards our friends and relatives.'

They will wear that piano down together, that much is clear. But Georgie wants nothing more than to play, and with Mr Fielding it is obviously much more fun. And he's very correct towards her, he doesn't show any sign of affection at all, just normal friendship and a lot of goodwill.

Of course they continue with the sonata, if Georgie wants to have something to practise for four days, they'll have to go through all of it. Time for the paper, or maybe even a visit to the library to get a book.

But before Darcy can leave the room, Mrs Annesley enters and announces, 'The piano has arrived, Mr Darcy.'

They all get up and file out, eager to see how Mr Fielding's large piano will be taken inside and up the stairs.

And the solution isn't genius, it's all a matter of effort and plenty of men.

The owner of the company is carrying the broad stool, as four squarely built men lift the large piano inside. He then leaves the stool in the hall for a few moments and directs the men up the stairs, as the three of them follow, Mr Fielding carrying his own stool.

As Darcy calls out the directions to Mr Fielding's room, he is surprised how efficiently this all goes, and in half an hour the piano is safely resting on its own feet, on the spot Mr Fielding has chosen for it.

As the men file out, the owner of the company asks, 'Shall I send over the tuner this afternoon, Mr Darcy?'

'Thank you Mr Roofer, that will not be needed, Mr Fielding here tunes his own instruments.'

'Mr Eric Fielding?'

'Yes, that's him. Have you heard of him?'

'I've never met him myself, but I've heard he's very talented. Actually, I heard just yesterday from one of my best customers that his patron dismissed him. Said Mr Fielding probably had enough of being fettered to Mr Zumpe's pet projects. About time, he added. You may have guessed by now he doesn't like Mr Zumpe much.

Actually, Mr Zumpe is his most important competitor, and he does sell quite a lot of those modern piano's.

My customer will be glad to hear Mr Fielding is not in the poorhouse or back to his parents. I should really attend one of his concerts, it's my job to know all the major pianists in town.'

'In that case, Mr Roofer, maybe I should introduce you two?'

Darcy finds a certain humour in the situation, and apparently Mr Fielding does, too. Mr Roofer may be nothing more than a piano-mover, but he knows everyone who matters in the business, so it cannot hurt for him to actually know who Mr Eric Fielding is.

'You mean, that gentleman over there is actually Mr Fielding? I had heard he was born a cowherd, I suppose I expected him...'

'To look like one? I'm sorry to disappoint you, Mr Roofer, but that young gentleman over there is indeed Mr Fielding himself.'

They shake hands, and Mr Fielding says politely, 'Thank you for handling my piano with care, Mr Roofer.'

'My pleasure, Mr Fielding, it will need a thorough tuning though, with the weather being as cold as this, and all the cobbles between the two houses.

I've heard good things of you, Mr Fielding, and I'm sorry you got into trouble with your patron. Though Mr Darcy has an excellent taste in piano's, he had me deliver a Clementi all the way to Derbyshire to his beautiful estate.'

'I am very thankful to Mr Darcy for saving me from the streets, Mr Roofer, I don't know what would have become of me if he hadn't. I truly hope to meet you in an audience one day and prove my skills to you, though I don't know when I will be playing in public again. Once again, thank you very much.'

Mr Roofer bows in acknowledgement, his constant association with the gentry has given him excellent manners, and he follows Darcy to Mrs Annesley for his pay, leaving Georgiana and Eric behind.

Eric sits down on the broad stool and plays a scale. It's indeed horrible, the instrument needs to be entirely retuned before he can play anything. It will take hours.

'I'm glad word is out that I was dismissed, I would have hated it if anyone thought I'd traded houses to better myself.'

Of course Eric is a bit affected by all this, tuning his piano will settle him quickly enough.

'Do you have your tuning materials at hand?' she asks gaily, hoping to cheer him up.

'I have, but I'm not going to tune her yet. I can do that when you are on your way back to Hertfordshire, I'll have days to bring her to the utmost perfection. Now, I'm going to rush you through that sonata, and when you get back we'll play it together in its entirety. Will you come with me?'

He offers her a hand instinctively, and she takes it just as spontaneously.

The physical touch gives both of them a shock, it was so natural, how are they going to keep from doing this in front of a witness?

This morning was a close call, Georgiana hadn't even noticed Fitzwilliam coming in until Eric called her Miss Darcy.

Her hand is squeezed just the tiniest bit.

'We'll manage, Georgiana, we will. Let's just take it easy, and enjoy our time together, and hope everything will work out in the end. Once the house is filled with people, we'll become a lot more careful.

Come, let's make the most of the time we have left to study.'

And he leads her by the hand until they leave the room. Then he reluctantly releases her hand and turns towards the drawing-room, to play together until Georgiana has to leave.