Chapter 3

I woke with a start the next morning. Sweat beaded down my face as I sat up, rubbing my tired eyes. Because I went to bed so early, I woke up twice last night; both times I thought I'd stay up the remainder of the night, but for the most part I didn't.

The nightmares that plagued my sleep were swift with details but did not make much sense. It was the absence of something that made it worse after I woke each time.

I glanced at the clock and was shocked to find it so early. The sky outside showed little light that filtered through the ever omnipresent clouds that held promise of rain throughout the day. I sighed.

I wished for sunshine for this day. Thankfully I didn't have any classes today. Yesterday's class wasn't so hard, but still it put my future college life in perspective. If I was to have a college degree, I'd have to spare my whole free time in studying. Four years of this? Was I even prepared? Two classes seemed hard this semester, but what about next when I had to take harder classes.

These were just remedial, and next semester I was to try my hand at one real class. My advisor had given me good, solid advice on what to do. But, by the time I really finished college, it would be five years, if I were to do as she suggested. So, I'd have to suck it up and try for as many as I could. I could always ask Mamo to transfer from his job in Juuban to here in Bunkyo to help me study. I know he'd do it in a heartbeat, though my family would have unrestrained annoyance about it. I was an adult though, at least in my eyes. I could do what I pleased. But, I know that he would be more of a distraction than a help because I'd not want to study. I'd just want to spend as much time with him as was allowed.

I found it disarming to think about this so early in the morning. As always, I felt a pang in my chest thinking about the time lost away from Mamo. I heard distance made the heart grow fonder, but in my case, it made it sick with apprehension. I trusted Mamo with all my heart, but I still did not trust his female coworkers.

I had to laugh at my own unjustifiable thoughts that crept up on me in my own tired mind. His female coworkers were all happily married and had children. They were also older and far wiser in not wanting to touch a younger man. Besides, I had met them and they were more like grandmothers; sweet and encouraging.

I snorted at my own stupidity and stood up from the bed. I really still could use growing up. Heaven forbid if I went back to that whiny stage again. I rolled my eyes and felt better at thinking this way.

I had to also think about Ami. Though she was going to be very busy the next few years with her eye on getting a degree to be a doctor, I knew I could ask her if I needed help. But, I wanted to try on my own to see if I had the ability. I was a slacker in everything I did. Training, school work, being punctual and even writing.

I was to be Queen in the next Millennia… how the hell was I to do that if I slacked in everything I did.

I cringed. I'd have to work harder. I'd have to surprise everyone. I would have to be brave and suck it up. I wanted to marry my Prince, but I wanted to be in tune with him in everything; that would require me to push ahead and grow some balls as my dad would say.

Yawning, I made my way to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

I was glad that Ami was free from her classes today just like me. Rei had a class, so she couldn't come meet us at the little café we found near the school. It was a nice little place with the feel of older times. Japanese lanterns were suspended by wires over the long purple and deep green awning. Each were at least a few meters away. As it was still daylight, they were unlit until dusk. I stared across the wooden table, and ran my fingers through my bangs with a huff.

"It's still hot," I complained, fanning my face dramatically with my hands.

Ami looked up from her thick volume she had brought with her to study after we had our brunch together. I admired her tenacity to keep a harsh regime to study so much. I wished I could have what she had, even if it was five percent of it. Her determination was refreshing rather than annoying now.

"We can go back to our apartment if you'd like." Ami suggested, taking off her glasses with a sigh.

I got the impression she really wanted to go alone back to her apartment she shared with Rei so she could study. I felt a bit bummed at how her actions told me that I was unwanted. I put on a fake smile and shook my head.

"No, it's nice outside," I said, sipping my tea and sitting back, "I should really go anyway. Prepare myself for tomorrow's onslaught of classes."

"You only have two, right?" Ami said with a preoccupied air.

I felt my cheeks flush from her conceited perception. I let out a whoosh of breath that caused her to look back up from her constant fidgeting. I knew she was ready to go, her blue eyes hosting a brief annoyance.

"I do." I said, quickly averting my eyes from hers. I picked up my bag and slung it over my shoulders, pulling out a few bills to lay next to the dirty dishes. "Thanks for coming out here." I saw in her eyes the realization of hurt that cooled my tone.

"Usa, I'm sorry I—"

"Don't worry about it," I said, putting my hand up to stop her. I didn't want to discuss it at this time, especially when my emotions were a bit delicate after seeing how I was a burden to Ami now. I knew she wanted to study, but if I knew how desperately she wanted to study even though this was our first week, I'd not ever have asked her out of her hideaway.

I smiled as big as I could and put my hand on her shoulder, "I'll see you later. Have a good night." I turned around to walk back to my apartment. I didn't even stop when I heard Ami call my name. I rounded the corner and felt sadness. A heavy blanket of confusion hit me like a sword through the gut. I didn't know why, but today felt like a step further away to what I thought was a bright future.

Maybe I was just being foolish and my hormones were unbalanced. I didn't quite understand all what was happening or the shift that was starting, but – for some unexplainable reason, in my heart I knew that this was just the beginning.

I came to the conclusion that my chapters for this story will be short. Some will possibly be longer than others for the plot. The beginning ones are always hard to write because it's always the introductory that's so boring until the plot really appears and thickens. I hope you enjoy this chapter and all feedback is appreciated! :) Chapter 4 is of course being written slowly as you read this!