Chapter 60

And indeed, Eric does come down for dinner, looking only slightly the worse for wear.

Georgiana doesn't even need to include him in their group, for Mr Manners immediately invites him to join them, and asks questions with such interest that Georgiana almost feels guilty he hasn't a clue that Eric has already won her heart.

Sitting between the two of them she feels very comfortable and almost happy, though she does worry whether she is succeeding in not spending more attention on one or the other.

But even with her between them they manage to talk to each other very well, Mr Manners really treating Eric no differently from his own friends, he is such a good man, and such excellent company.

'Mr Fielding, I missed you just now, before dinner. I was hoping you'd tell me more about your travels and your ambitions.'

Eric swallows visibly, but answers readily, his voice quite normal.

'I was in my own apartment, practising. True excellence comes with a steep price, Mr Manners, one I've learned to pay when it's due, or suffer the consequences. You may have noticed I don't drink wine with dinner, I hardly ever do, and I never use any other spirits, it influences my application, so I steer clear of its use.

I practise at least three hours every day, but usually more, not counting the time I teach or amuse myself or others with music, nor the time I spend composing.

Actually, composing is very bad for my virtuosity, stopping, writing things down, mind directed inward instead of at my hands, after an hour of composing I need to practise an extra half hour at the very least, to get the flow back.

But I never have to force myself to practise, I love to forget the world around me and become music.'

'I suspect that will make finding a life's partner rather difficult for you, Mr Fielding, few women will accept being in second place for their husband.'

Eric doesn't even colour or start, he merely makes a sad face and observes, 'Frankly, Mr Manners, you are totally right, it will take a woman with a strong will to separate me from my instrument on a regular basis.

And on top of that I find myself in another challenging situation, having been raised a gentleman I have an appreciation for highly intelligent, self-assured ladies, but I have neither the name, nor the fortune to attract one of those.

The very thought of marrying a sweet, but uninformed girl got me into my current situation, my patron took offence at my refusing to marry his daughter and asked me to leave.'

Changing his expression forcibly to a happy one, he adds, 'But maybe I should be glad, for now I am truly among a class where I hope my efforts at achieving excellence will be appreciated, even if I will be beneath the ladies' notice as a consequence of my birth.'

'I'm afraid you are gravely mistaking our ladies, Mr Fielding,' Manners observes with humour, 'I'll bet you they will be adoring you in droves once you've made a name for yourself.

Would it be too much for me to hope you will do us the honour of playing for us tonight, Mr Fielding?

And I'd like you to consider a proposal for a public appearance. I am the patron of a charity here in London, and we traditionally organise a benefit each year, the New Year's Eve Ball, a large event that most of the upper layers of society choose to attend.

We offer plenty of opportunity to dance, of course, with a respectable orchestra, but I was thinking of hiring your services to provide us with some more elevated entertainment just before we take leave of the old year. It will be a magnificent opportunity for you to make an indelible impression on the upper-class, for nearly everyone in the habit of going out will be there.

Of course I'll invite Mr Darcy and his family as well, so you'll have some familiar faces to support you.'

Eric is stunned.

'But Mr Manners, you forget you haven't heard me play, yet! Wouldn't it be more sensible to postpone your kind invitation to the moment you know my playing is any good?'

'Your modesty does you service, Mr Fielding, but Miss Darcy's praise is enough for me. I have heard her playing, if you are even better, as she says herself, I am convinced I will admire your performance, as will all the people I expect to attend this event. Will you at least consider it?'

'Of course I will be honoured to accept your invitation, Mr Manners, you offer me a way into your own society, I would be a fool not to accept, and very ungrateful and impolite besides. But I beg you, should my playing not be to your satisfaction, please do not hesitate to let me know, it's important for me to know what people really think.

With our host's permission I'll play for you right after we join the ladies in the drawing-room.'

And with a particular look at herself, 'Will you do your share of the entertaining, Miss Darcy? I'd like to play that sonata together, you've worked so hard to master it.'

'I always feel such a bungler after you've played, Mr Fielding,' Georgiana says truthfully, it always makes her feel clumsy in public, when they are together it doesn't matter, he has worked hard for years to acquire his greater proficiency.

'Miss Darcy! How can you say such a shocking thing?' Mr Manners exclaims, 'you're the best pianist I know!'

Georgiana sees no reason to be astonished by what she said, and Eric doesn't either. It's the truth, isn't it? As Mary didn't want to play with Georgiana present, so Georgiana feels Eric's superiority.

'So far, Mr Manners, so far,' she calmly replies, 'in an hour or so you'll know a much better one. I'm not ashamed of my own skills, in fact I'm very proud of myself. But to play in one session with a master is a certain way to disappoint oneself. But since we're going to play together, I will join you, Mr Fielding.

And I'm sure my brother will heartily consent, he knows Mrs Darcy adores you, and he'll not risk another quarrel.'

Let them contemplate that!

The ladies soon retreat, Georgiana and Kitty catching up for half an hour until the gentlemen join them in the drawing-room. Though the gentlemen may have discussed the possibility of an informal concert, the ladies haven't, but nevertheless an expectant silence descends on the whole group, centring around Eric.

Somehow this kind of undivided attention doesn't bother him, he's obviously a performer, relishing the anticipation of his audience.

This is Georgiana's moment, before he starts to play she will find a way to hearten him, show him she loves him, give him hope as Simon advised.

Since he asked her to join in at a certain point, and he may need someone to change the music sheets for him, she sits on the chair that is placed very close to the piano, they use it together so often the chair has become a fixture, and it is a very cosy place, and most important of all, very private.

Now, what to say or do to cheer him up but not make him swoon?

His face lights up as he sees her sitting right beside the piano, and on impulse she reaches out for him with her right hand.

With a quick look about him, the drawing room is rather filled-up with people after all, all looking his way in expectation, he notices how the piano hides Georgiana from view completely, and he dares take it in a two handed clasp.

His hands are so strong and muscular, and warm, no, do not imagine them running through your hair right now, you're supposed to say something heartening.

'It's still there, Eric, ever more awake, please don't doubt me when I spend time with our visitors.'

For a moment, his face shows the mixture of love, hope and agony he must have been feeling all day.

'Thank you so much, Georgiana. I'm ashamed to say I did feel some doubt today, he's so damned eligible, and so nice!'

Then he releases her hand, and since no-one can see her here, and Eric is busy placing his music-sheets on the stand, she touches it to her face as if his hands are still holding it.

As soon as he starts playing, she knows Simon's advice was sound, and her judgement accurate. His music exudes hope without becoming sentimental, and Georgiana just knows everything will turn out all right.

That night, lying in her beloved's arms, Elizabeth looks back on a pleasant Christmas Eve.

While the adults were enjoying their coffee, the little Gardiners and their nanny helped decorate the house with Christmas greens, freeing aunt and uncle Gardiner to attend Mr Fielding's concert for an hour.

'You're rather quiet, beloved, is that a good sign?'

Ever since their first quarrel, Fitzwilliam has been even more considerate of her, and she has found it as hard to tease him. That is not as it should be, but she supposes their usual comfortable intimacy will soon return.

'It is, my love, just this morning I was thinking we didn't really need a large party of friends to enjoy Christmas, just the four of us were enough company to be very cosy together.

But I really enjoyed the evening, and I'm looking forward to tomorrow. Weren't my little cousins well-behaved? When I asked Fanny to help me dress tomorrow, she praised them, and their nanny, for helping with the decorating. She has several younger siblings, I believe.'

'They are indeed very nice children, but I hardly even noticed they were absent, I was very pleasantly engaged observing your family and our new friends during Mr Fielding's performance. Even your mother was totally taken, especially with his own composition, she really seemed to feel it. Poor Mary, too, I really felt for her, though I suppose hearing a true master cannot be as humiliating as hearing a girl her own age excel. Georgie did so well.'

'Did you see anything of jealousy in Mr Manners when they played together like that? I was of course staring at Mr Fielding in rapture, I never thought of watching his audience instead.'

'I did not. I watched him regularly, he can be an important connection to Mr Fielding so I really wanted to know how he experienced Mr Fielding's own work especially, but I saw nothing but stunned surprise and sincere admiration during the virtuous pieces, and outright exaltation when Mr Fielding played his own work. Even when Georgie joined in for the sonata, Manners showed no sign of envy at the two of them being so close and so attuned to one another.

That did affect me, Elizabeth, I think I'm fast coming to terms with matters as they are. I can see it in everything now, I suppose they were meant for each other, though they weren't all that close the rest of the evening, they behaved very decently. I almost thought Mr Fielding fled the room at a certain point, when Mr Manners claimed Georgiana just after his arrival.'

'That is because he doesn't know, my love. I asked your sister how things were, and she said nothing had changed between them, yet, and wouldn't until our visitors were gone away. So I guess he'll have a difficult time for a few more days. She's taking your request very seriously.

'He won't be truly unhappy, will he?'

Poor Fitzwilliam, still remembering his own months in the clutches of love-sickness. Rather heartlessly, Elizabeth replies, 'It's just a week, maybe two. If he cannot handle that, he is too sensitive anyway, his first bad review will kill him.'

All at once his hold on her tightens, and he nuzzles her throat and neck and breathes in her ear.

'Oh Elizabeth, did I tell you lately how much I love you? I get all weak inside when you're having me on, I just cannot resist it.'

'I thought I was rather mean, actually.'

'You could never be mean, beloved, believe me, I know, I was very closely acquainted with Miss Bingley for years, and most other ladies I knew weren't much better.

I know you like Mr Fielding a great deal, my love, and the better I get to know him, the more I agree.

Do you think Mr Lascelles is serious in his attentions towards your sister?'

'I do hope so, it certainly seems that way, and I like him a lot, too. Imagine Kitty possibly marrying so well, and with such a superior character. Do you think we're just lucky as a family?'

'I suppose there must be more to it than that, but of course we're all connected to Bingley somehow.'

'It's that easy?'

'Not entirely, no, or I would have married Miss Bingley or one of those other ladies who kept chasing me. There must be something special about the three of you...'

'Our utter lack of education must indeed have made us irresistible.'

'Maybe a formal education does raise most girls to be affected and arrogant, Elizabeth, without developing true depth of knowledge or character. There is a certain realness to you that I suppose Jane and Kitty also possess. And being pretty also helps, of course.'

Soon afterwards their attentions to each other take on a totally different character, and they forget all about their sisters and guests in passion.

Neither Georgiana nor Eric find sleep quickly in their lonely beds.

Eric is torn between triumph and doubt, if he hadn't seen for himself that his entire audience was totally absorbed by his composition, he would have found out afterwards, for literally every person present complimented him on his virtuosity and his ability to make them feel the music as well as hear it.

None more so than Mr Manners, of all people. Eric just cannot help liking him, it's not merely his undisguised admiration of Eric's abilities, it's also the way he treats him as a complete equal, without the slightest hint of disdain or envy.

'Mr Fielding, you are going to make the entire population cry with emotion over your music. It is so incredibly beautiful and so powerful. First you'll win the upper class, and once they are at your feet, the middle class will be demanding to hear you play.

And after that the working people, they will flock to your concerts, for I'm sure they will understand your music, it's so real!

May I please help you reach the top? I have connections everywhere. It would be an honour to me!'

Mrs Bennet raved to him, 'Mr Fielding, your beautiful music made me cry, just like that. I've never cried over music before.'

And Mr Bingley and his beautiful lady, professing they finally understood why he was called a master.

'I never did believe Georgiana when she said you were much better than her. Now I do.'

And dearest, sweetest Georgiana, to let him know virtually under her brother's eyes that her feelings for him were still stirring.

This night, he will forget his doubts, and go to sleep with the image of himself playing in a beautiful hall, laden with people, bringing his audience to exultation, and being tenderly embraced by his talented beautiful lady afterwards. Though frankly, the image of sitting at the piano together and playing pleases him even more. Thus sleep takes him.

Georgiana merely remembers the touch of Eric's hands on her own, his fabulous accompaniment of the already virtuous sonata, and his sweet smile after his concert. The rest of the evening he is claimed by relatives and friends wanting to rave over his remarkable gift.

Well, if she wants to spend her life with him, she'll have to get used to sharing him with an audience.

But when they play together, it will be worth it, for they will be more one than any couple who cannot share a passion that all-consuming.

On Christmas Day they all share presents. Mr and Mrs Gardiner arrive just after lunch, bearing lots of gifts. Their children are ecstatic with anticipation, of course, challenging even their superbly competent nanny to keep them quiet.

Mr and Mrs Bennet have their goodies brought into the drawing-room by Johnson, and Jane and Bingley seem to have their own secrets. Darcy has had Simon do some last minute shopping for their three young male guests, a trip to Darcy's favourite London store for the gentlemen, and for Mr Fielding a gift of Simon's own choosing.

Of course the boxes for the staff for tomorrow have been hidden well in one of the dusty abandoned chambers on the top-floor for several weeks already. There is just the chocolate to add to each box, a bottle of wine and a cured ham will not spoil in three weeks in an unheated room in winter, they been carefully stowed on top of useful gifts Simon knows the servant in question will appreciate.

Similar boxes have been shipped off to Pemberley, too, the servants there expect their yearly box of gifts as much as the staff in London.

Darcy's cousin Fitzwilliam is expected today, they have not seen each other since Darcy's wedding, and have written only rarely, they used to see each other for weeks at a time and Darcy feels a bit guilty for neglecting his favourite relative.

But when Johnson announces Colonel Fitzwilliam, and he enters the room with cheeks flushed from riding through the still-freezing weather, it is clear he doesn't hold that against his own favourite cousin at all.

'Darcy!' he calls out as their eyes meet, and they hug heartily.

'Fitzwilliam, you look great!'

Darcy cannot wait for the two of them to find an hour to chat privately, his cousin looks well, though he seems a bit less self-assured than usual, but of course there are few people he knows in this group, just Georgiana and Elizabeth actually, even Bingley and Darcy's cousin have never met in person before.

The next person the Colonel greets is of course Mrs Darcy, and he obviously has trouble finding the right level of familiarity towards her. They used to be very casual, though always correct, in Hunsford, but he can hardly call Elizabeth Miss Eliza any longer.

Being a very well-bred and open person, he merely laughs at his discomfort, then just tries.

'Mrs Darcy, that sounds so formal, when I remember chatting with Miss Eliza as if it was yesterday. Oh well, I'll get used to it, in fact I've had months already to do so.

You look very well, Mrs Darcy, married life agrees with you, I'm glad to see both of you so happy.'

'Colonel, it's been too long since we last met. I hope you will not let so much time pass by before you visit us again.'

Elizabeth liked his cousin, and it's clear she wishes him well.

'I suppose I had my reasons for that, but I'll do my very best to enjoy my visit. Do you still play the piano?'

'Hardly ever, Colonel, we've two much more accomplished pianists in our midst. Maybe I'll dare tackle some folk songs later, if you all sing along no-one will hear my bungling.'

In Hunsford, Darcy would have contested that remark vehemently, but though he still loves Elizabeth's playing, he can well imagine she no longer likes to do so. Though Georgiana says Elizabeth could be very proficient, if she practised more often, and more seriously.

'I have messages from my father and our aunt, Darcy, maybe we can exchange news for a bit tomorrow, or late tonight?'

'Sure, Fitzwilliam, we may squeeze in an hour between the gifting and dressing for dinner. I suppose Elizabeth won't begrudge us the time to catch up. I'm so glad to see you, it's been such a long time!'

'Fitzwilliam, love, will you do the honours introducing the Colonel to my family, while I fetch our gifts? I think everything else is ready, and the children look fit to explode with anticipation and nervousness.'

That is a great idea, but what's up with his cousin? He seems flustered, and more than a little our of sorts. Still, he gains control over posture and voice quickly enough, and merely observes dryly, 'I see I have some work to do, yet. I thought I was ready for this visit, but it seems I'm not quite.'

What does he mean? Did he forget to bring gifts? That is no problem, is it? None of Elizabeth's family will have counted on him, which is why Darcy has asked Simon to pick an especially nice gift for his cousin. And besides, there are obviously plenty of gifts to go around.

'Did you forget to bring gifts? That's no problem, Fitzwilliam, you know that, don't you? You don't even know any of them personally beside Georgiana and Elizabeth.'

'It is of no great concern, Darcy, I'm fine once again, and looking forward to meeting Mrs Darcy's family and you other guests. I've asked your butler to hold on to a few trinkets I got those of you I know, they're right in the hall.

Maybe you can bring them in with your own gifts, Mrs Darcy? I presume you will have someone help you carry your own?'

'You are spot on, Colonel, I was planning to let Fitzwilliam's valet do the hard work for me, and we can certainly bring in your presents as well.'

And with that, she leaves the drawing-room without even saying goodbye.