Fall Into Me: Merry Pitchmas 2021

by FerretBoy74

Beca Mitchell is a junior music producer living in New York City. Thanks to her past, she has lost all sense of enjoyment of the holiday season. Chloe Beale is a vet technician also in The Big Apple. Despite all the love she gives, she has never found someone to love her the same. Can love thaw a frozen damaged heart and bring both women what they need?

Monday, November 29

Beca Mitchell exhaled a long, loud breath as she dropped into the chair at her desk. It wasn't even December, but she already was over Christmas. She peeled her puffy jacket off and tossed it in the direction of the coat rack. Then she waggled the mouse to wake her computer up, taking advantage of the delay to sip from her cup of coffee. Her email account indicated that she had over 650 messages. The four day Thanksgiving weekend had given ample opportunity for the messages to pile up. She shook her head and groaned, knowing most of them were ads from companies she had bought one thing from in the past. As much as she dreaded it, she would have to deal with the messages or they would take over her account - making it impossible to locate any messages she actually deemed important. Like many people, she had tried to keep the advertisers at bay by giving out a separate email address. But sometimes she actually needed to know when something was being shipped, so she ended up using her work email. And she had long since sacrificed both a gmail and a yahoo account to the spam overlords. As a result, her work email was starting to get infected with unsolicited garbage.

She just couldn't bring herself to do it. She already was agitated, and email sifting wouldn't help with that. She had been dreading coming in today anyway. The energy in the office would be weird, and it wouldn't improve for at least a month. The weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year's were so bizarre. It was like work was a secondary priority for the entire company. There were decorations to be hung, parties to be planned, vacations to be taken, embarrassing behavior to be excused. Beca didn't mind slacking at work; slacking was a time-honored tradition she firmly supported. And she was by no means a Scrooge or Schrute when it came to the season seeping into her workplace. It was just the overall assumption that everybody was equally excited by the concept of "the holidays." Saying that she didn't actually enjoy the holidays would get her the same response as if she said she didn't like puppies or ice cream. "What's wrong with you? How can you not like (holidays, puppies, ice cream)?"

It wasn't an intentional decision. Beca always found herself drawn to the more melancholy side. She knew she could be grumpy. She was aware she had resting bitch face. Despite all of that, she still partook of holiday festivities for most of her life. She had fond memories of Christmases past. But, as life rolled forward, the allure of the season diminished. The gleam in her eyes at the sight of trees and lights darkened. The merry and bright days turned into gloomy and grey ones instead.

Beca was 28 years old and lived in New York City. She had been living in the Big Apple for almost six years - ever since she graduated from college and moved to work for a record label as a junior producer. Residual Heat. Her internship in college had blossomed into a full career. It wasn't exactly where she wanted to be at this point in her life, but she didn't want to complain. She lived comfortably. Even after paying the exorbitant cost of housing in NYC, she had plenty of money left over. She just wasn't setting the world on fire. And her own fire had cooled considerably. The job had become routine. She worked with artists and produced their albums, but there wasn't really much satisfaction in it. She had given up creating her own music several years prior - around the same time that her general malaise had begun. So now she just kept running on the merry go round, hoping that some day things might change.

"There's my favorite elf!" The throaty joking comment caused Beca to scowl and turn to the person who delivered it. "Wow. Already in a grumpy mood?"

Beca sighed. "Hey C." Cynthia Rose, aka CR, aka C was Beca's best friend at work. Both women were on the more solemn side of the spectrum, but CR could be boisterous when the mood struck. She and Beca were hired within weeks of each other and hit it off right away. They worked together on several projects - Beca as producer, Cynthia Rose as talent development. They made a good team, and they made good music. They also both had hidden vocal talent that was reserved for karaoke nights and secretive insertion into albums desperately needing fixed. All in all, they made for an interesting pair. Beca was short, pale, and tiny; CR was taller, black, and curvy. But they got each other and meshed well.

"So why are you already all gloomy and shit?" CR asked as she strolled into Beca's office.

The small brunette shrugged. "I don't know. I'm just not ready for the season already."

"Ah," the other woman replied, dropping into the chair across the desk from Beca. "That's understandable … and normal."

Beca nodded silently. "As soon as Thanksgiving ended, a switch flipped and Christmas came running in to take over everything." She sighed and scratched her face. "You know the bell ringer is already out?"

"What bell ringer?"

"You know, the one with the red bucket."

"Oh, yeah, that makes sense …" CR replied casually.

"Right outside of the coffee shop next door. So I have to walk right by. 'CLANG CLANG CLANG' It's loud and obnoxious." Beca frowned and mindlessly wiggled her cursor around the screen.

CR chuckled. "I'm always excited when Grumpy Beca comes out to play." Beca flicked her off. Both ladies sat quietly for a few moments before CR continued. "We didn't see you on Thanksgiving… Were you okay?"

"Hmmm?" Beca didn't want to get into it, but she knew CR was just looking out for her. "I was fine."

"You could have come over."

"I didn't want to intrude."

CR leaned forward in her seat and groaned. She rubbed her face with her hands, frustrated at having to have this conversation … again. "Beca, I have told you a hundred times … you are not an intrusion. You can come over any time. Denise agrees. We had a big dinner with friends and family - which you are BOTH to us."

Beca smiled weakly and nodded. "I know." She chewed at her lip. "I just wanted to be alone."

"I know…" CR softly answered. "Did you at least eat and take care of yourself this weekend?"

Beca shrugged. "I heated up some frozen dinner. Read. Sat around."

CR studied her friend carefully. Beca's face was downcast. It was clear that she was wrestling with a lot of emotion in that moment, and she wouldn't appreciate being pushed too much. "Well, the invitation is always open. We are finishing up the last of the leftovers tonight if you want to come over." She stood up and began walking to the door.

Beca stared with unfocused eyes at her computer. "I'll let you know. Thanks." CR nodded and stepped out of the office, halting when Beca called her name. "CR?" The woman turned to look at the small figure at the desk, who seemed smaller than last week. "Does this ever get any easier?"

CR frowned sympathetically. "I think it gets … different." Beca nodded silently. CR waited for a beat before knocking on the door jamb and saying, "Let me know about tonight." Then she headed to her office.

Beca sat quietly at her desk, staring at her computer without really seeing it. She could feel the emotions building, which she couldn't afford to have happen. She took in a deep breath and shook her head to clear the cobwebs. Then she decided to tackle her email box before opening her editing software. Everyone else may be running on half power this month, but she couldn't afford to. She needed to have something to distract her brain. She saw a message from Emily Junk - one of her assigned artists. Perfect. She soon found herself lost in the music from Emily's upcoming album.

Tuesday, November 30

The alarm buzzed loudly, and a slender arm snaked out from under the blankets to slap at the clock. "5:30am" shone brightly from the screen, casting a scarlet glow across the room. Even though many people had moved to using their phones as alarms, Chloe Beale still counted on the same cheap clock she had been using since high school. She groaned slightly at the thought of emerging from her toasty blanket cocoon, but she forced herself to get up and make her way to the bathroom to start getting ready. She stood for a few extra minutes under a warm shower, humming Sia's"Underneaththe Christmas Lights" to herself, unable to force it out of her head. She padded into her closet and selected a warm outfit: a grey sweater over a long white tee, a green and brown plaid skirt, black tights, and boots. A holiday pair of scrubs were pulled off a shelf and pushed into her bag.. Her red coat, cream wool beanie, and cream scarf were hanging next to the front door. After a quick glance in the mirror to make sure her makeup was still in shape, she quietly made her way to the kitchen - trying to keep from waking her roommates. She prepared the coffee pot so she could grab a cup, while leaving enough for the other ladies to partake as well. Searching through the pantry for the bagels, she startled when she heard someone speak.

Why are you up so early?" Her roommate Aubrey whisper hissed from the door of the kitchen.

"OH, hey Bree." Chloe smiled at her best friend before a concerned look crossed her face. "Did I wake you?"

The blonde woman shook her head. "No, I had to get up to get ready for work. You're not usually up when I get up."

"Yeah, I have the bell thing." Chloe smiled, grabbed a travel mug from the cabinet, and began preparing her coffee. She dumped an obnoxious level of chocolate peppermint creamer before she snapped the lid in place.

Aubrey wrinkled up her face. "Again? Didn't you do that yesterday?"

Chloe nodded. "Yup." She popped the "p" in the word and bounced on her heels. "I am doing it every weekday."

"What about work?" The blonde frowned and studied her friend's face. She didn't think Chloe would really blow off work for ringing a bell, but her friend had done some crazy things.

Chloe brushed some of her red hair out of her face as she responded. "I'm going in later. I'm ringing from 7 to 10, then I work 10 to 6."

"You're doing this every day?!" Aubrey stared in shock.

Chloe frowned and replied. "Yeah, they have trouble finding people for the early morning shifts. But that's prime foot traffic time. So I said I would do it. It's right near the office, so it works out fine."

Aubrey shook her head. "You're too nice, Chloe."

The redhead shrugged her shoulders. "It is for a good cause. And it isn't like I have anyone at home to miss me if I'm gone more."

"We miss you," Aubrey replied softly with a frown and wrinkled forehead.

"You know what I mean…" Chloe answered.

"Yeah," the blonde took a step forward and clasped Chloe's shoulder. "I just don't want you think you aren't important to anyone. You're awesome and special."

"A single thirty year old vet tech with no prospects who lives with her college friends who are all in serious relationships? Sounds awesome and special. Short bus special" Chloe scrunched up her face. She fiddled with her coffee and went to grab her keys off the counter.

"Chlo…" Aubrey hated to see her friend start the day off down, and she regretted opening the door for that. "Don't do that…"

Chloe breathed in and exhaled deeply before putting a smile on her face. "I'm not doing anything, Bree. It was just a moment. They happen this time of year." She changed the subject and asked, "You all have anything big going on tonight?"

"Nope," Aubrey shook her head. "I think Stacie is making dinner tonight. Not sure what she has planned."

Chloe fake gasped. "Whaaaaat? You and your girlfriend don't discuss dinner ideas while cuddling in bed?"

"Shut it." The blonde crossed her arms and scowled at her friend. "I'll have her aim for seven so you'll be back."

"Seven? You're being optimistic again, Bree." Chloe poked her in the side as the redhead moved towards the door. "Be careful, people won't recognize you."

"Go ring your bell," Aubrey replied as she swatted at Chloe's rear end.

"Bye, Bree." Chloe laughed. Aubrey gracefully went back to her room as the redhead put on her coat, hat, and scarf. She rode down the elevator to the bottom floor of her apartment building and strolled towards the subway. The cold wind bit at her cheeks and nose, but she didn't mind. It helped to further wake her up. Leaving earlier than normal meant that the traffic patterns were different. There was a smaller number of people crushing her. Her journey took less time, also. Those benefits did not make up for the lost hour of sleep, in her mind. While she was committed to helping with the bell ringing for the next few weeks, she would be more than happy to put up with an uglier commute for extra time in bed.

Chloe took her spot in front of Larry's Bagels and Coffee after retrieving the red bucket and bell from inside. Larry had proudly allowed bell ringers to set up outside of his store for over twenty years. It was a premium location with the amount of food traffic. The store itself was set back a few feet from the other buildings on the street, creating a little alcove for Chloe to stand out of the path of the bustling pedestrians. She loved this spot. Her office was situated just a few buildings away, so she could quickly get to work after her shift. She got everything set up and started ringing the bell. Most of the time, people ignored her. They were distracted by their phones or their music. The stream of humans flowed by, occasionally broken up by someone veering into Larry's shop. Those were usually the ones who would drop money in the bucket - people who found it easier to get rid of their change from their purchase that way.

People watching was one of Chloe's favorite pastimes, which is a reason she loved volunteering each year to work the bucket. She got to see all kinds of people hurrying by. Once in a while, she would get to interact with someone. But just observing was fun enough. She also took joy in the chance that she would be making someone's day a little bit better. Chloe was generally a joyful person. She tried to be positive and friendly. She didn't dwell on negative things if she could help it. She loved deeply and felt strongly. When someone was important to her, she gave them her all. That is how she found herself still close to her college friends eight years after graduation. Aubrey, Stacie, Amy, and Chloe all had attended Barden University together in Georgia. They graduated at the same time, and they decided to relocate to New York to strike out on their own. Aubrey attended Columbia Law School and now worked in family law at a small firm in the city. Stacie recently finished her Ph.D. in Chemistry at Columbia, and she now worked at Pfizer. Amy … well Amy was unique. An international student from Australia, she never went home after graduating. She apparently had a degree in Communications, but nobody was sure. She told so many stories about so many things, it was hard to know what was the truth. It wasn't until after college that her friends realized that she was stupid rich thanks to her shady father, which put an end to her freeloading. The four girls were part of a nationally known a cappella group in college - the first all-female group to win nationals. So they had been friends for over twelve years. That was until Aubrey and Stacie realized that they had the hots for each other a few years ago. Now the apartment housed that couple, Amy and her never-ending stream of boy toys, and Chloe.

While Chloe was lovable and loving, she also was still alone. People were drawn to her all the time. She had her share of meaningless hookups and short-term dating situations. But she just had never been able to find a long-term partner. It always ended up that she felt TOO much, cared TOO deeply, fell TOO fast. That meant that she had become very accustomed to being ghosted, hearing "it's not you; it's me," and discovering that her boyfriend or girlfriend was "seeingother people" without sharing that information. Now out of her twenties, she wondered if she was ever going to find someone. She had begun to pick up on the fact that her parents were disappointed in her. They still loved her, but they figured she would be settled by now. They didn't see vet tech as a legitimate enough career. They hoped she would be married, or on the road to it. They were wrapped up in their grandchildren from Chloe's brothers. Which meant that as Christmas rolled around, Chloe found herself shockingly alone. She couldn't dwell on that now, though. She needed to be joyful and happy as she ran her bell. People were counting on her. So she kept on smiling and wishing people well. She watched countless men and women walk by. She snickered to herself when she saw a small woman in the same hat and scarf that Chloe had on. And she hummed Christmas songs to herself, passing the time until she went to hang out with dogs and cats for a few hours. She loved her friends and her job, the city, the season. Things could be worse.

Wednesday, December 1

"What the hell happened in here?"

The blonde woman seated at the front desk popped her head up from behind her computer with a confused look. "I'msorry? What do you mean?"

Beca scanned the front lobby, overwhelmed by the amount of red and green and gold hanging from every surface. "It looks like Christmas threw up all over the place." Her displeasure clearly came through with her words as the blonde winced at the comments.

"Does it look … bad?" She asked in a panicked whisper, looking around.

"What?" Beca jerked herself out of the winter wonderland lobby and looked at the woman now freaking out in front of her. "Uh, no … no not at all." The brunette tried to level her voice out, so as to calm the other woman. "I was just … surprised. It didn't look this way when I left yesterday."

Sheepishly, the blonde answered. "I stayed late last night to finish it…"

"Oh." Now Beca felt like an ass. "Look, uh, Ahhh … Jehh…"

"Jessica," the other woman offered with a frown.

"Right … Jessica," Beca corrected herself. "It looks very … festive. I was just caught off guard. Doesn't really fit the whole … " she waved her hand around at the room "vibe of a record label."

Jessica's face fell. "But Sammy said he liked it."

Of course he did. Beca forced a weak smile on her face. "Well that's all that matters! He's the big boss. I'm just a little peon. Ignore me." At that moment, the phone rang and Jessica answered. Beca took the opportunity to sneak away off to the elevators. She rode up to the seventh floor. She exited and walked towards her office, passing the desk of her assistant. Well, the assistant for the pod of four junior producer offices that included Beca's. If Jessica is downstairs, this must be…

"Good morning Miss Mitchell."

"Umm good morning, Ashley." The woman lit up at the acknowledgment. Nailed it. Taking a quick look around, Beca noticed the decorations in the outer office had multiplied over night. "Any chance you stayed late with Jessica decorating?"

Ashley beamed. "Yes! Do you like?" Beca held her mouth shut and nodded. "Oh Miss Adams was looking for you earlier. Do you want me to let her know you're in?"

"Um, yes please," Beca replied. Then she entered her office and flopped into her chair. She spotted the desk calendar and groaned. It was officially December. There was no holding back the flood of holiday atoricities. Her email indicated over 100 messages had piled up overnight - mostly spam, she was sure. Every radio station had started playing mediocre holiday music. Without fail, stores were covered with bows and tinsel and sales promotions. Even her beloved coffee shops were ruining perfectly good coffee by dumping boatloads of sugar and peppermint and chestnuts into it. Gross. She looked around her own sparsely decorated office space. She didn't have much cluttering up her office in the first place. She had her desk that housed her computer. Then she had her music station (a table scavenged during a conference room upgrade) where she kept her keyboard, mixing board, and laptop docking station. It faced away from the door, so Beca could disappear into her music without any distractions. People had learned by this point that if they walked by her office and saw the back of her head through the window, they should keep walking. She didn't have any photos set up anywhere in her office. She had a few frames gold records hanging on the wall, but that was it.

The general impression was that Beca was a prickly, grumpy, alternative little malcontent. She didn't fight the image; she knew she could be all of those things. But she also felt like life had pushed her in that direction. Growing up in Georgia, she believed as so many people do that if you are good and kind and do what's right that good things will come to you. That was what she heard in school. That's what was taught by her parents. That was what was preached in church. And she did her best to be the best little girl she could be. She was nice to new kids and kids that were ignored at school. She always tried to help her parents around the house. She said please and thank you. When her dad would come home from a rough day teaching, she would crawl up into his lap and cuddle him until he felt better. When her mom felt overwhelmed by taking care of the house and running errands and dealing with a child and working part time at a day care, Beca would sing to her until her mom would smile. Christmas was the very best day of them all. The whole message of Christmas was that if you're good, Santa brings you toys. If you aren't, he brings coal. And, since Beca was always good (well, as good as a kid can be), she knew she would be getting the things on her list. She never was greedy. She didn't ask for extravagant presents. And she usually got everything she wanted. It made her feel extra special, knowing that she had made her parents and Santa happy.

As the years went by, Beca began to notice that it wasn't so easy to make things better for her parents. Sometimes, her dad would stay upset after he got home from work. Sometimes, her mom wouldn't smile, no matter how many songs Beca sang. And sometimes - these were the worst - her mom and dad would BOTH be upset at the same time. Beca couldn't be in both places - cuddling her dad and singing to her mom. So she sat in her room and listened to the harsh voices and unkind words. She worried about what it meant, the fact that these fights happened more often. There were days when her dad didn't come home at all; there were days when her mom stayed in her room and cried for a long time. Around third grade, Beca heard a boy in her class talking about his parents getting a divorce. Beca didn't know what that was, but the boy seemed really sad - so it probably wasn't a good thing. She asked her dad about it. He explained that sometimes married people realize that they can't be together any more. It may be that they outgrow each other, like when Beca outgrew her favorite dress. She loved that dress. It was light blue with cherries on it. She wore it as often as she could. Eventually, even though she was tiny, it was way too short for her to wear it to school. So she started wearing leggings under it and used it as a long shirt. One day, though, it just didn't fit at all. She was very sad that day. And her dad reminded her that even though she loved the dress, it just didn't fit. And that married people sometimes don't fit. Beca worried that her parents would outgrow her some day, but her dad said that would never happen. She would be his little girl forever, even when she was all grown and he was old. This was very confusing to Beca. Her parents seemed to fit just fine. So she asked her mom about it. Her mom nodded at what Beca's dad had said, but she added on that sometimes one of the people does something bad - so bad that the other person can't forgive it. Beca's eyes went wide at that. How could anything be unforgivable? She started to worry that maybe she had done something like that. Her mom comforted her and said that Beca had never done anything like that. She was a good girl, and good girls didn't do bad things like that. And her mom would love and forgive her forever, no matter what.

The Christmas of seventh grade was unlike anything that Beca had experienced before. Her parents had been fighting more and more. Beca knew a lot more now and was fairly sure that she was going to join the list of classmates whose parents were divorced. She stayed in her room a lot more. She didn't cuddle her dad very much. She wasn't a little girl, and he didn't seem to be around as much. Even when he was home, he was off sulking in his office or puttering around in the garage. She didn't sing much for her mom, either. Her mom's face was always tight and tense. More often than not, Beca felt like she was a nuisance to her mom - that if she made any noise that her mom would snap. So she dove into her music on her own. She listened to everything she could find - which, with the rise of digital music options, was a lot. She asked for some music software for her birthday, which she got - along with some nice headphones and a turntable. She felt like her parents went a little overboard with the gifts, maybe to make up for all of the fighting. For Christmas, she asked for a mixing board. That was all she wanted - from her parents. In her room, she offered up another wish to anyone listening. She prayed every day, asking God to help her parents stay together. She knew Santa wasn't real by this point, but she considered asking him too. She kept being good. She worked extra hard in everything she did, hoping to prove to God that she meant what she prayed. When the family all got together for presents, she noticed that her mom and dad sat together on the couch. That rarely happened any more. She smiled to herself. Her mom brought her dad coffee. They had gotten presents for each other. Maybe her wish and prayers had worked. She opened her presents and saw the mixing board she had asked for. There also was a nice microphone, some CD-ROMs, and iTunes cards. She was so excited. She ran and hugged both of her parents and snuggled down in between them on the couch. Maybe she had gotten everything she wanted.

She sat in her room after setting up her new equipment. She was fiddling around with everything, trying out the different components. Her headphones blocked a lot of the noise in the house, for which she was immensely grateful. This afternoon, though, the screaming pierced the cocoon of her room. It was angrier than before. This wasn't bickering or arguing. This was a full scale explosion.

"How dare she? Call HERE?! On Christmas?"

"I have every right to receive calls at MY HOME!"

"Not from HER. Not after everything!"

Beca turned the dials up louder, trying to drown out the voices. It wasn't long, though, before pounding footsteps echoed from the stairway and down the hall.

"Where the HELL do you think you're going?!"

"I'm leaving. I've taken enough of this BULL SHIT!"

"It is CHRISTMAS! You can't wait to make your grand exit until tomorrow?"

Beca scrambled up from her seat and pulled her headphones off. She crept to her door and pulled it open slightly. She could hear things being thrown about in her parents' room. The words disappeared and were replaced by an angry icy silence. She knew what was happening. She couldn't believe it. Her prayer had not been answered. She clicked her door shut and crawled onto her bed, pulling the blanket over here and deeply sobbing.

That kind of thing does a number on Christmas spirit. The holiday had been shattered to the whole family. The day couldn't be separated from that ugly split. Dr. Mitchell went on to move out and in with his girlfriend - who was also his secretary and the mother of his unborn child. Mrs. Mitchell broke down, emerging from her shell a shadow of her former self. They both tried to assure Beca that they would still be there for her. Parents didn't outgrow their children. They loved them forever. But her dad contacted her less and less as he got wrapped up into his new family. Her mom did her best to be there, until she got sick and the tables were turned. Now Beca had to take care of her mom. Christmas became another painful reminder of her shattered family. She had to shuttle between two houses during break. She was responsible for any decorations or festivities at her home. She awkwardly sat there watching her step-siblings discover the joys of the holiday, all while she was hurting inside at the rejection she felt. She knew she was collapsing onto herself, becoming darker and sharper - less willing to let people in. Less likely to hope for good things to happen. Her mom passed away in her junior year of high school. She went to her the college where her father served as a professor. By the time she set foot on that campus, she was a hardened shadow of that little girl who loved Christmas and wanted to make everyone happy. The only thing she had left was her music, because that was the only thing that had never left her.

As Beca scrolled through her Wednesday onslaught of emails, she noticed two messages in particular. One was from her father, inviting her to spend Christmas with him and his family in Georgia. The other was a company wide email containing all the details of the Holiday Party. 7pm, Monday, December 20. Grand Ballroom of the Hilton on 3rd Avenue. White Elephant Gift Exchange. Open bar. Karaoke. Beca groaned and dropped her face into her hands. She couldn't decide which invitation she wanted less. There was no way she was going to Georgia for the holidays. She already would have to ward off CR's invites, trying to make sure Beca was okay. The last thing she wanted was to have her dad and Shiela hovering all around her. The company party, though. She thought for a moment about how she could get out of that. It wouldn't be easy. Even though it wasn't mandatory, it was pretty much mandatory. Sammy, the head of the studio, was a huge Christmas nut. He went bonkers the whole month of December. He wore new ugly sweaters and stupid hats every day. He would roam around the offices, dropping off little presents and demanding sing alongs. It was hard to believe this was the same driven crazy guy as the rest of the year. But he felt he worked his people hard for eleven months, so they deserved a lighter month to celebrate. Beca knew that it was actually very sweet and caring. It just meant that she was forced to fake a festive attitude all the time. She didn't know how she was supposed to make it through the whole party. She would probably just park at the open bar. Unless she could fake being sick. That would be something she had to think about. She noticed the time; there was a meeting about a new artist she would be working with. She grabbed her stuff and headed to the conference room, pushing the thoughts of the annoying party to the back of her mind.

Thursday, December 2

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you

Chloe decided to spice up her shift at the red kettle this morning. She loved music and loved singing. Usually, she just rang her bell and greeted people as they walked by. But today was kind of overcast, there was a chill in the air, and the people passing by came across as a little grumpy. So she sang. She couldn't keep this up for her whole shift, but maybe she could brighten some people's days here and there. And if they decided to toss some money in the pail, even better. More people would get helped.

From when she was a young child, Chloe loved singing. Her parents frequently talked about how they would find the little redhead quietly singing to herself in her room. She would sit on the floor, playing with her toys, singing songs she had learned in school or picked up places. She would sing herself to sleep during nap time and at night. As she got older, the music kept flowing out of her. She would hum to herself while she was working, which led to several showdowns with teachers who needed her to be quiet during a test or desk work time. She didn't even realize she was doing it; the tune would be running in her head and, without thinking, she would let it climb out. Her first roommate in college complained about the constant singing and got switched to a different room. Her second roommate also got swapped out. Her third roommate was deaf, so that worked out well for everyone.

Chloe usually was described with terms like sunny or bubbly or effervescent. She just had that kind of personality. She also was extremely beautiful. She had wavy red hair that shimmered in the sun, reflecting a spectrum of golden and amber highlights. Her eyes were insanely blue. They were so bright they almost glowed. She was blessed genetically with curves in all the right places and a high metabolism and love of exercise that translated into toned arms and legs and a taut abdomen. She was one of the most sought after girls in her high school and college. People loved her for her personality, her looks, her positive attitude, and her love for people. That didn't mean she never had dark days. She did, especially as she moved into her teen years. But she also learned that those days didn't sit well with the people around her. They were used to bright and uplifting Chloe, not dark and down Chloe. So she forced herself to keep showing that desirous side to the world and bury the struggles.

In college, she got into a cappella. It provided her with an outlet for her singing, and it allowed her to hang out with some other great women. Or at least she thought it would. Most of the other girls were snotty and judgmental. They criticized her positive outlook, her singing, her breath. The only person who didn't do that was another freshman named Aubrey. The two of them forged a tight friendship through the trials of their time in the group. When the mean girls finally graduated, Aubrey and Chloe formed their own collection of women who supported each other and appreciated each other's uniqueness. That was where they met Stacie and Amy. Not everything ran smoothly. Chloe had vocal nodes surgery, which still caused her issues from time to time. Aubrey stressed out so much she threw up on a regular basis. But the experiences created lifelong friendships. Chloe, especially, valued those friendships more than anyone knew.

One of the things that Chloe had to come to accept was that people didn't stick around. She could attract anyone she wanted. She always had people wanting to be her friend. And she always had suitors. She never had to spend a weekend alone if she didn't want to. She could have had partners every night, if that was what she desired. After all, everyone loved the sweet, funny, cheerful, bright, gorgeous girl. Who wouldn't want to spend the night or the weekend with someone like her? The problem would come when things stretched much beyond a few days. Chloe couldn't keep the act up forever. At some point, she needed down time to recharge her batteries. She needed to be able to feel disappointment and sadness and loss. But when that happened, people would tend to vanish. "I didn't sign up for drama." "This isn't who I thought you were." "What's wrong with you? Why are you so moody?" She couldn't hold onto a partner for very long. At first, it didn't matter. It was high school - relationships aren't supposed to last. It was college - it's just about having fun. It was singleness in the big city - explore your options. But she had outgrown those mentalities. She wanted what Aubrey and Stacie had, what Chloe's brothers had, what her parents had. She wanted someone who loved her unconditionally, who would stay.

I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you

Chloe just sang her heart out as she stood there. She noticed a lot of people smiling as they walked by. More people than usual diverted from the stream of humans on the sidewalk to toss some money into the pail. And most people who exited Larry's Bagels veered her direction with a smile and a deposit of change. Knowing that she was making a difference - no matter how small - make Chloe smile. She kept singing and watching people.

Oh-oh, all the lights are shining so brightly everywhere (so brightly, baby)
And the sound of children's laughter fills the air (oh, oh, yeah)
And everyone is singing (oh, yeah)
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa, won't you bring me the one I really need? (Yeah, oh)
Won't you please bring my baby to me?

Chloe noticed a small brunette woman walk by. The redhead had seen the other woman several times that week. They both wore the same cream colored knit cap and scarf a couple of times. The woman was walking with a determined gait until she pulled up short. She turned towards Chloe, as if to see where the singing was coming from. Chloe smiled widely as she continued the song. The other woman nodded and grinned. Then she kept walking. The moment sent a zing of excitement through Chloe's chest. She was thrilled to know that the woman responded so positively to the song. But there was something more. There seemed to be a connection of sorts. Chloe decided she would try to interact with the woman at some point. She still had several weeks of shifts at the bucket, and the woman seemed to work somewhere close.

Friday, December 3

Beca couldn't shake the funk she was in. She knew how hard things had been last year over the holidays, but she hoped that maybe things would have gotten a little better. She found herself irritated at everybody. She growled at people on the subway. She ignored the bell ringing woman, despite being impressed with her singing the day before. She gruffly responded to Jessica's greeting at the front door. She glared at Ashley when the woman tried to say hello outside of Beca's office. She knew she was being unfair and unreasonable, but she just couldn't pull herself out of the gloomy cloud that had settled over her.

CR waltzed into Beca's office uninvited and dropped into a chair across the desk.

"Is this now going to be a daily occurrence?" Beca grumbled as she looked up from her computer.

"Well, it seems I'm the only person who either doesn't get snapped at or doesn't care when I do," CR explained. "They sent me in to see what is wrong."

Beca groaned. "There's nothing wrong."

"You were mean to Jessica AND to Ashley," CR replied. "That is like kicking TWO puppies."

"That isn't … the same thing," Beca mumbled with her cheeks coloring.

"But it is, short stuff." CR leaned forward in her seat. "Those two are some of the nicest weirdos on the planet. They couldn't possibly have done anything to deserve it." Sensing that something was off with her friend, CR leaned back and waited patiently for her to speak up.

"I just …" Beca ran her fingers through her long chocolate colored hair. Her face tensed, and a pained look crossed her eyes. "I don't know how to keep doing this, C."

"Doing what exactly?" CR knew what, but she wanted Beca to verbalize it.

Beca's eyes grew shiny with tears. "It hurts so bad." She stared at the wall without focusing, to avoid her friend's face. "I hoped that things would be a LITTLE better. It's been two years."

Softly, CR responded, "Yeah, it's ONLY been two years." She offered a small smile. "Nobody here expects you to be okay. This time of year is always hard for people who lost someone."

"I remember when he first found out that I didn't celebrate Christmas. He lost his mind! He showed up at my dorm with a stack of movies and a container of cookies. Said he wasn't leaving until I stopped being a Grinch." Beca laughed to herself. "He was such a dork."

"That is true. He was indeed a dork," CR answered with a smile. "But he was a good dork."

"He was my dork," Beca choked out. She allowed the tears to fall for a moment. Then she lifted her face and connected eyes across the desk with her friend. "He said he'd be there forever. Six years isn't forever."

CR frowned, her heart aching for the woman across the room. "Sweetie, I know. He loved you so much. He would have stayed forever."

Beca nodded, wiping her eyes with a tissue. "I know. I just wish that everyone didn't leave."

"I'm not going anywhere, short stuff," CR replied with a grin. "You can't get rid of me. We still have to take over the industry."

Beca laughed. "Thanks, C."

"Hey, why don't you go take a little walk to clear your head," CR suggested as she stood up. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a twenty dollar bill. "Go over to Larry's and get yourself a coffee. Get me one too."

"You don't have to pay for my coffee. I can afford coffee," Beca replied, rolling her eyes.

"I owed you from lunch the other day," CR answered with a smirk. "So it's really like YOU are buying ME coffee."

"Dork," Beca snarked as she grabbed the bill. "Do you want one of those disgusting fake coffee drinks?"

CR batted her eyelashes and sweetly squeaked, "Yes please. Peppermint mocha."

"Gross." Beca pulled on her jacket and shuffled out of her office, avoiding Ashley's eyes. She hoped nobody would notice that she had been crying, although it was fairly obvious. She wrapped herself up in her scarf and pulled her hat on. Riding the elevator gave her a chance to take some deep breaths and collect herself. She knew her eyes were still red, but she couldn't do anything about that. Maybe people would just think it was from the cold. She looked at the ground and headed towards the coffee place.

"Hey! Hat twin!"

Beca jerked up at the words, not sure if they were directed at her or not. She was in the alcove that housed Larry's shop. People were wandering back and forth, so it took her a moment to notice the red haired woman at the red kettle who was grinning widely at Beca. The brunette looked confused for a moment and then looked around, seeing if someone else was involved in the conversation.

"I was talking to you," the redhead offered, still smiling. "We have the same hat! Hat twins." She laughed at her comment.

Beca was frozen again, but this time for a different reason. The sound of the woman's laughter caused a warmth to spark in her chest. It was one of the cutest sounds she had ever heard. Then Beca noticed the woman's eyes. They were a blue unlike anything Beca could remember seeing. She realized she had been staring for waaaaay too long. "Uh, yeah, I guess so." She offered up a weak chuckle. The other woman didn't seem to mind. "I'm … just heading … in there." Beca pointed at Larry's while internally slapping herself.

"Cool," the redhead answered. "They have good stuff. Try the peppermint mocha."

Beca couldn't help but scowl at the recommendation, shaking her head as she walked to the door. She tried to keep herself facing the front, but she ended up looking over her shoulder a few times through the window at the woman with the bell. It seemed like each time, the woman was looking back at her. Beca was pretty sure that the woman winked during one visual exchange. The whole interaction was making Beca blush like crazy, which did help to camouflage the redness around her eyes. She ordered her coffee and CR's abomination and waited at the counter for the drinks. She kept clandestinely looking out the window. The woman had resumed her greetings of people and bell ringing, but she did glance into Larry's a few times - each time catching Beca studying her. Beca was sure she was coming across as a grade three creeper.

She got her drinks and headed back outside. She tried to suavely walk back to the office, but she heard a voice call "ByeHat Twin!"

Beca turned and saw the redhead grinning at her and waving. The brunette found herself drawn over to the bucket. She balanced the two drinks on top of each other and grabbed the change she had received out of her pocket. She tossed it into the bucket. "Awes, thanks!" The redhead was smiling even wider, if that was possible.

Before she could stop herself, Beca stammered, "I … uh heard … I heard you singing yesterday. You're really pretty." Her eyes flew wide as she realized what she said, "No, I mean … your voice was pretty." Now she felt like an idiot. "Imean … you're pretty, too, but your voice …" She stopped talking when she heard the woman laughing again.

"You think I'm pretty?" The question was delivered in a flirty voice that made Beca turn bright red. "You're not so bad yourself."

"I gotta go." Beca grabbed her drinks and hustled back to the office, mortified by the entire conversation. As she turned the corner, she heard the other woman call out.

"See ya later, Hat Twin!"

Ugh. Well at least she wasn't crying any more.

Monday, December 6

Chloe hopped out of bed when her alarm went off on Monday morning. She had an extra level of excitement today about ringing her bell. She was hoping to see the cute brunette she had dubbed "Hat Twin." As she went through her morning routine, she thought about their interaction on Friday. It hadn't been much, but Chloe had loved every second of it. Something about the woman brought a smile to Chloe's face. She knew that she was probably being silly. They had barely spoken, and the woman had been flustered most of the time. But, still…

The fact was that Chloe tried to be alive every moment of her day. She knew that people would zone out and disengage during routine activities. Riding the subway, walking to work, filling out paperwork. Those things could become rote and mundane. But Chloe didn't want to see life that way. She tried to experience everything to its fullest. She never knew when something that appeared small would turn out to be life-changing. It had happened before. A simple walk across her college campus had led her to her a cappella group, which brought her the three best friends she had ever had. Noticing a small abandoned kitten outside of the grocery store had lit the fire about working with animals. There were just some small moments that she knew were going to turn out to be enormous. For some reason, that is how she felt about meeting the small brunette.

She hummed and smiled to herself as she showered and got ready. She decided to wear her red jacket and cream hat and scarf again. Maybe that was because she figured the mystery woman would notice them and recognize her. Yeah, that was the reason. Once she got her station set up, Chloe started ringing the bell, singing a song here and there. She kept an eye on the crowd for the brunette woman, wondering how she could get her attention without making a fool of herself. Well, more of a fool of herself than standing and ringing a bell in the Cole already made her. She needn't have worried about getting the woman's attention. When she popped into view, the woman was already glancing over towards Chloe. Their eyes met, and Chloe got a huge smile on her face. She called out, "Happy Monday, Hat Twin!"

The other woman blushed, but she returned the smile and offered up a small wave. The sea of people kept pushing her along. She would have to step out of the human river towards Larry's if she planned on actually interacting much with Chloe. It didn't happen, and in a few moments she was gone. Chloe frowned that they didn't get to talk at all, but she soon returned to smiling when she thought about how adorable the woman had been blushing. She definitely worked somewhere close by, so Chloe knew that she would have more opportunities. She started singing "Let It Snow" and rang her bell merrily.

---

Chloe yawned and stretched as she opened her locker. Her daily routine of bell ringing followed by a full shift at work definitely took a toll on her. By six, she was ready to go home and collapse on the couch. She and her roommates had a dinner rotation, though, and tonight was her night to get something ready. Monday was her night, Stacie covered Tuesday, Amy had Wednesday, and Aubrey ran Thursday. They didn't have a rotation for the weekend, since there would be other events to pull them away from the house. They didn't have to actually cook dinner on their night; they just had to provide it. It was cheaper to cook, clearly, so Chloe usually opted for that. Stacie and Aubrey mostly cooked, but sometimes they would order food. Amy didn't have any money concerns, so she just about always had food delivered. Tonight, Chloe was exhausted, so she decided she would pick up something that just required heating up.

After changing and getting her stuff together, Chloe ventured out into the cold New York night. The sun set so early in December, which was a frustration. Chloe basically went to work in the dark and then came home in the dark. That wasn't the best thing for someone who loved being in the sun. At least she had the morning shift at the bucket to give her some sunlight. She made her way down to a bodega that she frequented on her trip home. When she walked in, she smiled at the man behind the counter and waved. "Hi Eduardo. How's the family?"

"Good, Miss Chloe."

"Is Hector excited for Christmas?"

"Of course! The boy has changed his list three times since Thanksgiving." The man shook his head and frowned.

"He better get that solid if he wants Santa to know what to get!" Chloe laughed as she spoke.

"That's what I told him," Eduardo chuckled.

Chloe wandered around the store, trying to come up with a dinner option. She knew that the bodega always had some good cooked chicken options, so she grabbed enough for everyone. She also picked out a container of rice and some fresh zucchini and squash. She could cobble something together pretty easily from that. She made her way to the counter to pay. As she waited for Eduardo to ring up the items, she heard the bell over the door ring. A small figure entered the shop, looking down at the ground. Chloe smiled when she realized who it was.

"Hat Twin! What is it with us and bells?"

The woman stopped and looked up. The surprise on her face soon morphed into a small smile. "Hey. What can I say? I must have a thing for them."

The two women stood smiling at each other until a slight cough from behind the counter drew their attention. "I'm sorry, Chloe. It will be twenty seven eighty two."

"OH," Chloe answered. She fished into her bag and got her card to pay. She noticed that the other woman still was standing in place. The redhead turned towards her and smiled again. "It's nice to see you again. I gotta go feed my roommates, but I'll see you in the morning?"

The brunette nodded and continued smiling. "Looking forward to it." Her face reddened as she realized what she said. Then she shook her head and shuffled off into the store.

"Adorable," Chloe mumbled to herself as she grabbed her bags.

---

Chloe burst into her apartment in a whirlwind of bags. Her roommates looked up at her with startled looks. With a large smile, she loudly greeted them. "Good evening, ladies! How are we tonight?"

"Chloe, are you drunk?" Aubrey asked cautiously. "It's kind of early for that."

"Nope," Chloe answered, popping the "p" sounds. "Just had a good day."

"Who is he?" Stacie asked suspiciously from the sofa.

"What do you mean?" The redhead replied.

"The only reason to be that happy sober is if you met someone," the tall brunette explained. "So who is he?"

"He isn't anyone," Chloe answered. But the blush on her face gave her away.

"Wait! She said he isn't anyone," Amy loudly commented, pointing at Chloe. "Who is she?"

"OOooooooo, busted," Stacie commented with a smirk. Knowing her as long as they did, Chloe's friends knew that she was bisexual. They had watched her as she dated both men and women over the last ten plus years.

"I … don't … know," Chloe sheepishly answered as she put the groceries away and prepped the vegetables.

"You don't know who it is?" Amy asked. "Or you don't know her name? Or you don't know what we are talking about?"

"I don't … know her name."

"Chloooeeee," Aubrey whined. "Again? You can't keep doing this, getting crushes on people you don't even know."

"I know, Bree." Chloe answered. "But she is really cute. We have the same hat! I call her Hat Twin. And we've talked a few times. I see her when I'm working the kettle. And I saw her at the bodega tonight. And she is adorable. And I felt this spark. And…" She paused her ramblings enough to see the looks on the faces of the other women. Stacie had a knowing smile on her face. Amy smirked at her. Aubrey was scowling. "I haven't done anything about it," the redhead protested.

"Not yet," Aubrey answered. "Give it time."

Chloe glared from the kitchen. "That isn't fair, Aubrey Posen." She frowned and started to tear up as she worked on getting dinner ready.

Aubrey felt her girlfriend kick her in the leg. She looked down at Stacie who made faces at her, gesturing at Chloe.

"Ugh, again with the silent talking," Amy complained. "It's bad enough that you guys are all gross with the cuddling and the doing it, do you have to use the telepathetic stuff too?"

Stacie glared at Amy before turning her head back towards Aubrey. With a final jerk of her head, Aubrey sighed and spoke up. "Look, Chloe. I … we … just don't want you to get hurt. And you get attached so quickly, that it … happens. You know we just care about you, right?"

Chloe nodded and sniffled. "I know." She kept looking into the pan while stirring the vegetables. "Just because I am quicker to feel things doesn't mean the feelings aren't valid, though."

Aubrey moved into the kitchen and hugged Chloe from behind. "I know Chloe. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. I just don't want you getting hurt. That's all."

Chloe nodded. But she hurt inside. She had been excited about her interactions with the small brunette, and it felt like the air had been taken out of her balloon. Aubrey had always been more cautious than Chloe. Even after she and Stacie realized they liked each other, it took Aubrey months to do anything out of fear. Chloe wasn't like that. She didn't want to lose her natural excitement about things just because her friends didn't understand it. Sometimes, Chloe felt like no one really got her. Her parents thought she could be flighty. Her friends thought she was too impetuous and naive. Her exes thought she was too much to handle. Just once, she wanted someone to love her as she was. She just kept hoping that somewhere there was someone like that.

Tuesday, December 7

"I hate stupid Secret Santa," Beca grumbled.

"Why?" CR chuckled. "It is fun. And then you don't have to get presents for everyone."

"Yeah, but I don't know anybody here," the brunette whined. "Except you."

"Which I am thankful for every day," the other woman deadpanned. Beca flicked her off in response. "Come on, you know people." Beca shook her head while scowling. "There's Jessica downstairs…"

"She hates me," Beca replied. "I insulted her decorations."

"You did what?" CR laughed. "Only you would criticize decorations. You also know Ashley - you know, your assistant." Beca shrugged.

"She's weird. I don't know anything about her." the producer countered. Her face lit up a moment later. "I know Emily!"

"Beca, she doesn't count. She's an artist, not an employee here." Beca grimaced at the words. CR offered, "Just tell me who you have."

"It's supposed to be a secret, C."

"Yeah, not a secret present, though," CR answered. "You're supposed to get the person an actual present. Just tell me who you have."

Beca pulled a slip of paper out of her drawer. "Gail Abernathy." She looked up at CR. "Who is that?"

"Really?!" Her friend replied with a chuckle. "You don't know Gail? The head of HR? The woman who issues and signs your checks?"

"I mean, yeah, I know her … I guess," Beca replied with a shrug. "I don't know anything about her, though."

"Think about her office," Cynthia Rose suggested. "What do you notice in there?"

Beca thought for minute. She really didn't like Gail, so she tried to move as quickly as possible out of her office when she had to go in there. She closed her eyes and tried to picture the office. There was the smell of perfume. Too much stinky perfume. Gail's stupid smiling face. Diplomas on the wall. And lots of pictures of … what were they? Cats? Definitely cats. Beca remembered how weirded out she had been by the sheer number of cats. Different cats. Not just ten pictures of one cat, but pictures of ten different cats. She opened her eyes and looked over at CR. "Cats? She likes cats?"

"Bingo," her friend answered with a smirk. "She is a certified 'cat lady.' She has tons of cats. So, get her something cat related."

"But what if she already has it?" Beca asked with a confused look. "If she's that into cats, she may already have whatever I pick."

"Seriously, girl, do you never buy people presents?" The woman glared at her tiny friend. "I mean, I know you have had people in your life? Didn't you buy them crap?"

Beca shrugged again. "Yeah, but they were usually prettier easy to buy for. It's different with someone I don't know. Plus, Jesse did a lot of the present shopping…" Her voice trailed off as she said the last sentence.

CR frowned and took a deep breath. "Look, Beca. I know this can be challenging. And it may not be something you are super comfortable with. But it is part of interacting with people. You can do this. Just go down to that pet store down the street during lunch. Look for something cat related. Treats or toys or something."

"Which pet store?"

"You're kidding, right?" Beca shook her head. "You pass it literally every day on your way to work." At the confused look sent her way, CR continued with a sigh. "You go past Larry's and it is like two buildings down. Pet and Vet or something like that. Just walk down there at lunch."

"You could come with me…" Beca stated hopefully.

"Nooooo," CR chided. "You can do this yourself. Plus I have a meeting to go to."

"Well, maybe I'm supposed to go to that meeting too," Beca challenged with a scowl.

"It's with my gynecologist," CR drolly commented.

"Oh," Beca answered. Covering for herself, she continued. "Yeah, you should probably go to that on your own."

"Thanks for your permission," CR snarked. She stood up to leave. "Go to the pet store. You'll find a good gift there."

---

At lunchtime, Beca decked herself out in her puffy jacket, hat, and scarf. She then dragged her feet as she walked out of the office. She rode the elevator down to the lobby and wandered out into the crowd of people. The crushing mass wasn't as heavy as during the morning commute, but Beca still didn't like it. She was so tiny that she often got jostled all over the place. She figured that she couldn't afford to be too far away from the left side of the sidewalk, since she would need to pop into the pet store. So she moved as far left as she could without getting in the way of the pedestrians heading the other way. She still got a few dirty looks as people had to adjust their walking trajectory. Beca noticed Larry's on the left - with an older black gentleman ringing the bell. Then she took notice of the storefronts she passed. She was a little surprised that she hadn't noticed any of the places before. Just like CR said, the pet shop appeared on the left. As Good As It Gets Pets and Vets. Beca snorted at the goofy name. She opened the door and entered the small shop. There were table loaded with fancy looking pet treats, shelves with toys and leashes, and piles of food options. There appeared to be a section devoted to grooming to the left of the register. A small spiral staircase went up to the second floor from behind the counter. A sign indicated that the veterinarian rooms were upstairs. No employees were out on the floor, so Beca started looking around. She identified what she thought was the cat section and started examining the choices. She heard someone coming down the metal stairs and started to turn to face them when she heard, "Hey. Sorry I was upstairs … HAT TWIN!"

Beca froze for a moment before turning to see a brightly smiling red haired woman. It was indeed the bell ringing woman that she had interacted with the last couple of days. She was wearing an adorable set of blue scrubs with dogs wearing Santa hats. The lighting of the shop, along with the outfit, made the woman's bright blue eyes pop even more. Her red hair stood out against the backdrop of the stairs. Beca felt her heart clench in her chest. She didn't know exactly what was going on with her, but she felt herself ferociously blushing. She couldn't be sure how long she had been staring, when she heard the woman approaching from the counter. "Wow, what a surprise. We are making this a holiday tradition." She smiled and winked. "Not that I'm complaining." The redhead now was right in front of her. "Maybe now we can officially meet. I'm Chloe Beale."

It took a few moments for Beca's mind to catch up with her body. She saw that Chloe had her hand extended, waiting for Beca to reply. "Oh, I'm Beca. Beca Mitchell." She grasped the offered hand and felt a jolt.

"Beca, that is better than Hat Twin," Chloe commented and chuckled.

"It kind of had grown on me," the brunette answered, wondering what her mouth was doing talking without permission.

"Good to know," the redhead answered, nodding and smirking. "As much as I would love to believe that you are here as part of your continuing efforts to woo me, I'm guessing you have other motives for visiting?"

Beca coughed at the comment, turning bright red. "Uh, yes, I need … um … I need to get a cat present."

Chloe tilted her head in confusion. "You're getting a present for a cat? Or a cat as a present?"

Get a grip, Mitchell . "No, uh," Beca cleared her throat and tried to get her brain in gear. "I am getting a Secret Santa present for a co-worker who loves cats."

"OOOhhhhh, gotcha," Chloe said, nodding in agreement. "Any ideas?"

"Nope," Beca answered. "I barely know this woman. She signs my paychecks, so I don't want to piss her off. I've never had a cat and I don't know. I don't want to get her something stupid or that she has." She felt embarrassed about her word vomit.

Chloe laughed. The sound affected Beca much like it had the other day, giving her flutters in her stomach. "Well, I can help. What is the price point?"

"Ummm," Beca pulled her phone out and skimmed through her emails, finding the message about Secret Santa. "Twenty five dollars max." She glanced up at the bright blue eyes. "Is that going to be enough to get anything?"

"Totes."

"Totes?" Beca asked with a questioning look.

"Oh, sorry. That's something we used to say in college. I was in an a cappella group."

"Really? Ha, what a dork!" Beca's eyes flew open when she realized what she had said out loud.

"Hey!" Chloe protested. She slapped at Beca's arm. "We were the tits. We were the first all female a cappella group to win Nationals."

Beca giggled. "Sorry. I actually am a music producer. The image of a cappella singers doesn't bring up the coolest people."

"There are definitely some weirdos, but not everyone is like that," Chloe explained.

"I'll take your word for it," Beca laughed.

"You're a producer, you said? Have you worked with anyone I know?" Chloe asked.

"Maybe," Beca answered. "I work down the street at Residual Heat. Mostly smaller artists, but I worked on a Christmas track with Snoop Dogg. And I've done all of Emily Junk's albums."

"Oh. My. God," Chloe exclaimed. "You're like a big shot."

Beca shook her head. "Not quite. Sorry to disappoint. Otherwise I would have somebody buying this cat gift for me." She was shocked how easy it was to talk with this woman. She never shared this much. But for some reason, Chloe made Beca feel so comfortable.

Chloe laughed. "Well, I'm glad you aren't too big to be here for yourself." The redhead smiled as the brunette blushed again. "I have some ideas. We actually have some nice gift packs for cat owners that discount the price. So your twenty five dollars goes further. You'll impress the cat lady."

"Sounds perfect!" Beca replied.

Chloe walked Beca around the store, showing her some different gift packs. Other customers wandered into the store who were helped by other employees, but Chloe stuck right by Beca's side for a sizable chunk of time. They kept getting off topic talking about music and animals and the weather. Finally a short Hispanic woman leaned down the stairs and called out. "Chloe, our next patient is here."

Startled, Chloe looked at her watch. "Oh goodness, I didn't realize what time it was." She called back to the stairs. "Thanks, Flo!" Then she turned to Beca. "I hate to leave, but I have to go back to work." She frowned at the comment.

Beca stammered as she realized how much time she had taken of Chloe's time. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to take so long."

"Not at all!" Chloe grasped Beca's arm, which made both women feel all tingly. "I loved actually getting to talk to you." She smiled widely, causing Beca to respond similarly.

"Me too," Beca answered. "I think I've figured out what I want to buy. Go do your amazing vet stuff."

Chloe blushed at that comment. "Thanks, Beca." Without thinking, she leaned forward and placed a kiss on the brunette's cheek. "I'll see you in the morning." Then she scampered back up the stairs.

Beca stood frozen to the spot. Her hand drifted up to her face, touching the spot that still burned from Chloe's lips. Her heart pounded as she tried to wrap her mind around what was going on. After a few moments, she forced herself to move. She grabbed one of the cat gift packs and went to pay. Her mind ran furiously, thinking about the redhead woman who was having a very unexpected effect on Beca's heart.

Wednesday, December 8

Chloe had trouble sleeping, so she was up before her alarm. The thought of seeing Beca today at the kettle invigorated the redhead. After their time at the pet store yesterday, Chloe was even more convinced that the small brunette was going to be a part of her life for a long time. The redhead couldn't wait to get to her kettle station. She knew that was kind of silly, since Beca usually walked by at the same time each morning. But sitting around the apartment waiting wasn't really a great option either. Finally she just headed out from her apartment. No one would be upset if she started her shift early. Larry's store was open by 5:30, so she could easily get her gear.

Once she was set up and ringing her bell, Chloe thought through her time hanging out with Beca at the store. The brunette woman seemed to loosen up the longer they talked. She was genuinely funny. Obviously, she was talented. And she was so adorable that Chloe had to keep herself from pinching Beca's cheeks. There were even a few moment where Beca appeared to awkwardly flirt with Chloe. The redhead had no idea if Beca even was interested in women, but those moments made Chloe hopeful.

The time soon arrived when Beca would be appearing. The brunette had been fairly consistent in her arrival time for work. She showed up within a fifteen minute window between 8:30 and 8:45. So Chloe started to pay more attention to the mass of people on the sidewalk around 8:15 - just in case Beca decided to come early. Chloe certainly hoped she would but figured that would be a lot to ask. So she was pleasantly surprised when Beca popped into view at 8:20. Instead of allowing the stream of people to push her to her building, the small woman veered out of the crowd and into the alcove housing Chloe and her kettle. She stopped in front of the redhead and grinned. "Hey."

"Hi Hat Twin!"

Beca frowned. "It's Beca, remember?"

"Yeah, but I also like Hat Twin," Chloe said with a smile. "That's how we first met."

"Ah, gotcha," Beca replied with a nod. They stood quietly for a few moments before Beca spoke up again. "Thanks again for helping me yesterday. I hope you didn't get in trouble or anything."

Chloe shook her head. "Nope. It was all good. Did you get what you needed?"

"Yup!" The brunette nodded and smiled. "It's all ready to go."

"So, do you have any big projects you're working on? That you're allowed to talk about?" Chloe looked at Beca with an excited look on her face. It made her eyes appear even larger and more blue, which melted Beca even more.

"Uh, no. The label really slows down over the holidays. The big boss wants everyone to be able to celebrate the holidays without big deadlines."

"Well, that's nice!" Chloe beamed.

"Yeah, I guess," Beca shrugged. "I kind of miss the work, though. Too much free time lets my mind wander."

"Does it go anywhere interesting?" Chloe smiled a dirty grin and waggled her eyebrows.

"What?" Beca's eyes flew open at the question. "No, I was just…"

Before she could complete her sentence, Beca felt herself rammed into by a large body. A man running out of Larry's shop didn't slow down as he ran right over the small brunette. She flew backwards and slammed onto the ground. The impact knocked the breath out of her, but the man never even hesitate to look back. He just raced into the moving crowd and zipped away.

"Oh, my God! Beca!" Chloe yelled as she observed the woman in front of her get knocked over. She tossed the bell into the bucket and quickly moved over to check on the smaller woman. "Are you okay?"

Beca struggled to breathe, coughing and wheezing. She started to panic, wondering what was wrong with her. She felt her hands being grabbed by someone. A voice worked its way past the hazy feeling. "You're okay, Becs. Breathe with me. Breathe. In two three four five. Out two three four five." Beca allowed herself to match the breaths and soon found herself calming down. She was sitting on the cold sidewalk. A small circle of people stood around, watching the scene. Chloe was squatted down holding Beca's hands, whispering to her. Beca locked eyes with the redhead who smiled. "You okay?"

Beca nodded and struggled to stand. She felt Chloe pull her up and then clasp her around her waist to steady her. Beca shook her head. Her neck and back both protested the movement, and she grimaced. She saw Chloe take on a concerned look. "Beca, are you okay? Do you need to see a doctor?"

The brunette closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She shook her head. "No, I think it just jarred me." She looked around before asking, "What happened?"

"Some guy came flying out of Larry's and just ran you over!" Chloe agitatedly explained. "He didn't even stop! Just kept going!" The redhead's forehead wrinkled in concern. "I was so worried! Are you sure you're okay?"

Beca studied the face in front of her. This woman had only interacted with her a few times, but she looked genuinely concerned. The brunette felt her heart warm at the realization. "I am okay. Just shaken up." She added a small smile at the end. It was only then that Beca realized Chloe still had her grasped around the waist, pulling her tight to herself. Truth be told, Beca didn't really want to move.

Chloe didn't either. So she kept Beca clutched to her side. The two ladies studied each other for a few moments. There bubble popped when they heard a rough voice from the door of Larry's. "Hey Chloe? Is she okay? That guy was a real jerk. Sorry about that."

"She's okay, Larry. Thanks," Chloe called back. She adjusted her position to let go of Beca, both women immediately missing the closeness. "Listen, I'm going to stress all day that you're actually not okay. Can I give you my number so you can at least let me know you're fine?"

In a brief moment of boldness, Beca smirked and replied, "If you had wanted to give me your number so badly, you could have just asked. You didn't need to have someone run me over."

Chloe's mouth fell open in surprise at the comment before her face changed into a bright smile. "I see how it is. Get knocked on your ass and then suddenly think you have game." She placed her hand out. "Phone." Beca handed her phone over and watched as the redhead typed her numbers in. Then Chloe texted herself from it. "There. Now we have each other's numbers. And you can tell me you're okay."

"Okay, fiiiiine," Beca grumbled and rolled her eyes.

"Or you can tell me you can't stop thinking about me," Chloe whispered and winked. Beca turned red at the comment. Chloe laughed. "Now I believe that you're okay. Back to blushing."

"Shut up. Go ring your bell," Beca retorted.

"Go make your music," Chloe tossed over her shoulder as she walked back to her kettle.

"Hey, Chloe!" Beca called. The redhead turned to look at the brunette. "Thanks for caring."

"Of course, Becs," Chloe answered. "You're worth it."

Beca smiled to herself as she walked to the office. For the first time in forever, she felt like she mattered to someone. And it felt really good.

Thursday, December 9

By Wednesday afternoon, Beca had begun second-guessing giving her number to Chloe. It wasn't because the other woman was annoying. She just really liked to text. Beca was used to being fairly isolated in her office; people knew to leave her alone while she working. It had been years since somebody regularly texted her during the day. She would get occasional messages from CR or Sammy or the other producers. But she just wasn't really big into texting. Chloe was. Despite the distractions they caused, Beca found herself smiling each time that a message came in. She also found herself replying and getting more invested in the ongoing conversation.

Chloe My Hat Twin (10:15am): Hey, Beca. I'm walking to work and wanted to check on you. You still doing okay?
Me (10:16am): Hey.
Me (10:16am): Yes, I'm good.
Me (10:16am): Thanks for checking
Chloe My Hat Twin (10:17am): Awes. Glad you're okay. Didn't want anything to happen to your cute self. )
Me (10:20am): Yeah

Chloe My Hat Twin (11:15am): Good thing you came in yesterday. The place is packed today!
Me (11:20am): Oh really?
Me (11:22am): Yeah, I don't like crowds.
Chloe My Hat Twin (11:23am): Too easy for you to get lost in them.
Me (11:25am): :(
Chloe My Hat Twin (11:26am): Haha. :P

Chloe My Hat Twin (1:25pm): OMG! You should see this dog that just came in. It is the cutest thing ever.
Chloe My Hat Twin (1:27pm): image sent
Me (1:30pm): That is a very cute dog.
Chloe My Hat Twin (1:32pm): You should be more excited, Becs.
Me (1:34pm): That is a very cute dog!
Chloe My Hat Twin (1:35pm): HA! Much better

All afternoon that was how it went. Beca expected the interactions to stop after work, assuming that Chloe would have more important things to do. She was surprised (somewhat pleasantly) to discover that Chloe actually texted MORE once she was home.

Chloe My Hat Twin (7:20pm): Whew! Finally home.
Me (7:22pm): Yeah, me too.
Chloe My Hat Twin (7:25pm): Any big plans tonight?
Me (7:30pm): Yep. I have a hot date with a Lean Cuisine.
Chloe My Hat Twin (7:32pm): Ooooh, what flavor?!
Me (7:35pm): Are you actually excited about Lean Cuisine?
Chloe My Hat Twin (7:36pm): Food is food, Becs. It's always exciting.
Me (7:38pm): Well, in that case, it is Apple Cranberry Chicken.
Chloe My Hat Twin (7:39pm): Very nice. Festive.
Me (7:42pm): I suppose. The most festive I'll probably get.
Chloe My Hat Twin (7:45pm): Really? Do you not celebrate Christmas?
Me (7:50pm): It isn't that I don't celebrate … It's just a much bigger discussion than texting.
Chloe My Hat Twin (7:52pm): Gotcha.
Chloe My Hat Twin (7:55pm): In case you were wondering, we are having spicy chicken pasta that my roommate Amy ordered. She never cooks anything. It is sooooo gooooood.
Me (8:00pm): Bragging doesn't look good on you, Chlo.
Chloe My Hat Twin (8:02pm): Everything looks good on me.
Me (8:03pm): …
Chloe My Hat Twin (8:03pm): Or off of me. ;)
Me (8:05pm): Oh my God…

They chatted off and on until falling asleep. Beca wasn't sure what to expect on Thursday as she headed to work. But she should have known that Chloe had no intention of quitting the text chain.

Chloe My Hat Twin (8:00am): Hey Hat Twin! Looking forward to seeing you in a few minutes. Stop by and say hi if you have time.

Maybe Beca left a little bit earlier that morning, to make sure she had time to stop by to see the redhead at her kettle. And maybe her heart leapt a bit at the text. And maybe it started pounding when the alcove in front of Larry's came into view. Not that Beca would admit that to anyone. The women greeted each other and chatted for a couple of minutes. Beca kept one eye on the door of Larry's so she didn't repeat yesterday's incident. Nothing awful happened, and eventually Beca headed to her office. The day went much the same as the day before. She worked in her office, interrupted here and there by more texts from the cheery woman Beca was finding herself drawn to. After exchanging messages about what they were having for lunch, Beca was surprised to read Chloe's next comment.

Chloe My Hat Twin (1:15pm): So are most of your meals just frozen entrees?
Me (1:18pm): Um, yeah. I guess. Unless everyone is ordering something. It doesn't make sense to make a whole bunch of food just for one person.
Chloe My Hat Twin (1:20pm): :(
Chloe My Hat Twin (1:22pm): Hey, do you want to go grab something to eat after work?
Chloe My Hat Twin (1:25pm): We don't have to if you have plans … or if you had a special Lean Cuisine planned. )
Chloe My Hat Twin (1:30pm): Beca?
Me (1:32pm): Sorry. Someone came in my office.
Chloe My Hat Twin (1:33pm): Oh, good. I worried I freaked you out.
Me (1:35pm): No, I'm good. That sounds fun.

The truth was that Beca was freaking out just a little bit. The invite sent a thrill through her and brought a smile to her face. Which was the exact moment that CR had walked through her office door. "What's this?!" The black woman smirked as she observed the look on Beca's face as she read the text message. "Beca - are you … texting? And smiling?"

Beca blushed immediately and set the phone down. "What are you talking about? I was just checking my phone during lunch."

"Bull shit, shortie," CR responded with a laugh. "I recognize that face. That was the face of a woman who is smitten." She grabbed at the phone, which Beca snatched and hid behind her back. "Who is it? How come I didn't know?"

"It's nobody," Beca mumbled.

"Mmmm hmmmm," CR replied, crossing her arms across her chest. "Nobody. Nobody doesn't make you all giggly like that."

"I wasn't giggling," the brunette protested.

"Might as well have been." CR didn't want to push too much, especially if Beca was actually attempting to interact with someone outside of the office. "Well, either way, I'm happy for you." She then headed back out of the office. "Don't forget the meeting at 2 about that new rapper. Bring the song I know you've already been working on."

Beca and Chloe agreed to meet outside Larry's around 6:30, since it was in between their workplaces. They both arrived within a few minutes of each other. Beca didn't really know what was around, which caused Chloe to stare at her in shock. "How can you work here and not know that there are a half dozen amazing restaurants within a couple of blocks?"

Beca shrugged. "I guess I just don't get out much."

Chloe suggested a pizza place, which sounded great to Beca. They decided to split a whole pie, knowing they would have leftovers to heat up later. As they drank their beers and ate, the conversation flowed easily.

"So you're telling me that you get up at the ass crack of dawn to go and work the kettle EVERY DAY?" Beca was still trying to process this information.

"Well, Monday through Friday. They have trouble staffing that early morning shift," Chloe answered with a smile.

"That's because people aren't crazy enough to work it!" Beca responded, shaking her head.

Chloe shrugged and picked at her pizza crust. "I have worked it for years. I like knowing I'm making a difference."

"Do you … get paid?" Beca had always wondered what the deal was with the bell ringers.

"No," Chloe answered as she took a sip of beer. "Some people do, but I don't. I just volunteer. I have enough money to do what I need to and want to, so I would rather that all of what we bring in goes to helping people."

Beca stared in disbelief. "So … you're one of those …. nice people?"

Chloe laughed. "I guess so." She looked fondly across the table. "I'm sure you're nice too."

Barking a laugh, Beca scoffed. "Ha. I have a long list of co-workers, former classmates, and exes who will be thrilled to argue that point with you."

"You've always been nice to me," Chloe observed with raised eyebrows.

"Or you haven't recognized my inherent mean-ness," Beca countered with a smirk.

"Mmmm," Chloe pursed her lips. "No, I think you are actually an adorable softie."

"Hey!" Beca argued. "Those are fighting words. I'm not adorable. I'm a badass." She pouted as she made her point.

"Sure, Becs," Chloe said in a patronizing voice. "Whatever you say." She patted the brunette's hand and snickered at the blush racing up her face.

Beca was amazed at how comfortable she felt with Chloe. She still had some big walls up - things that she never revealed to anyone. But she shared about work, artists she had worked with, places she had been, her favorite animals, her favorite foods, and even some about her upbringing. Chloe, in turn, shared anything and everything. The woman was an open book. Beca learned about how Chloe came from a very tight family. She had three brothers and was the second youngest child. The boys were all married with kids and doing well for themselves. She was kind of the "wild child" of the group. Her parents often seemed exasperated that she didn't "have a career" yet or wasn't married yet or didn't have kids yet. They would make little remarks about how she was still living with her college friends in an apartment. Chloe had some great friends who she loved. She told Beca all about Aubrey and Stacie and Fat Amy, their adventures in college, their a cappella travels, and their fun experiences in New York. She talked about how Aubrey and Stacie realized they were in love with each other after being friends for years. Beca could have listened all night to Chloe talking. Everything that the redhead shared about got her so excited. Her eyes would sparkle. Her nose would crinkle up. Her laugh would erupt out and just spread warmth all over. Beca had never met anyone like Chloe - someone so open and honest, accepting, loving, thoughtful. The more they talked, the more that Beca felt wrapped up in Chloe's caring personality. She felt honored to learn all about the woman. She was never judged when she didn't share stories to match Chloe's. Before she realized it, her watch showed 10:00. The women reluctantly decided they should go home. When the exited the restaurant, Chloe wrapped Beca up in a big hug. At first, the brunette tensed up like usual with physical contact. But she found herself relaxing into the embrace and returning it. She felt colder and sadder when Chloe pulled away. The redhead again kissed her on the cheek as she big her farewells. Beca stood frozen on the sidewalk, watching Chloe walk away - a goofy smile on her face.

---

Beca jolted awake and saw a man sitting on the edge of her bed. Panic flooded her heart. She looked around frantically, hoping to find a weapon of some sort. As her eyes adjusted to the low light, she recognized the face. The wavy brown hair. The dark brown puppy dog eyes. The sad turn to his mouth. Her eyes went wide as she whispered, "Jesse?"

The sad look remained as he lifted his eyes towards Beca. The reflection of the light made it look like his eyes were watering. "Hey Becaw," he muttered softly.

Beca scrambled from under the covers to reach for him. "How … how are you here?"

With a sad smile, he replied, "I had to come and check on my best girl." His face fell and grew dark. "But I guess I didn't need to worry about that."

Tears flowed from Beca's eyes at the words. "Jesse … what … what do you mean?"

"Who is she, Beca?" The brown eyes were dull and lifeless, devoid of joy. "Who is she?"

"She … I … I just met her …" Beca stammered as she tried to explain. "Nothing happened, I swear." She reached for the man, only to see him pull his hand away. "Jesse, I promise."

"Don't forget me, Beca," he pled. "You're the only one who can keep me alive."

"Jesse…" Beca cried out. "Jesse, don't go. Please!"

"You're the only one who can keep me alive," he said before he vanished.

Beca awoke with a start, jerking to sitting position and wildly scanning the room. There was no one there. The door to the bedroom was still shut. The bedding showed no sign of disruption. It was a dream. He wasn't here; it was just a dream. The reality set in and Beca burst into tears, wrapping herself into a ball under the covers.

Friday, December 10

When the alarm buzzed, Chloe leapt out of bed, ready to start the new day. She couldn't wait to get to her kettle. She couldn't wait to see Beca. The dinner last night had proven everything that Chloe had been feeling. She hadn't connected with anyone like she had with the tiny brunette in a long time - maybe ever. Chloe had fallen asleep replaying their conversation, smiling at the memories of each thing she had learned about Beca. The redhead couldn't get over just how incredible the evening had been. How incredible Beca was. Chloe was free to be herself. She shared stories, expressed her feelings, frequently touched Beca's hand. They had flirted and joked and laughed. Never for a moment had Chloe worried that Beca was going to run because the redhead had been "too much" to deal with. In fact, it appeared that Beca got more comfortable and more engaged the more Chloe shared. It was like the brunette was coming alive through their time together.

Chloe stood in the warm shower, thinking about the other woman. She knew that she had a crush on her - that had been true from the very beginning. But this was becoming more than some passing frivolity. She was feeling things that went beyond the typical fast attraction. Plus, Beca was beautiful - even though she pushed away compliments. She was tiny - a few inches shorter than Chloe. But she still had a great figure. Every time Chloe had seen her, Beca had either been wearing a tight sweater or a tight t-shirt under a flannel. The girl loved her tight shirts, Chloe remembered. And Chloe appreciated them too. Beca's hair usually spilled out from beneath her knit hat, falling over her jacket or shirt. Once she had shed her winter outerwear, Chloe had noticed how soft and wavy the chocolate tresses looked. She was able to observe better the dark blue eyes, the heavily - but perfectly - applied eye liner. The ivory skin contrasted with the darker features. Chloe was completely taken by the woman. She soon realized that if she didn't stop her thoughts from getting away from her that she would need to find a way to release some of the tension - and inevitably be late to her shift. So she shifted the shower to ice cold, effectively stopping the tantalizing sensual thoughts of her crush.

The station was up and ready a few minutes before 7:00. Chloe had splurged on a large peppermint mocha when she got there, feeling so good about the day. She alternated between singing and ringing the bell. She greeted people as they walked to and from Larry's. She wore a bright smile the whole morning. Soon, 8:00 had rolled around. It was still early for Beca to arrive, but Chloe hoped that the brunette would come early to spend a few minutes together. The redhead was slightly disappointed when 8:30 hit, but she knew that she would still at least be able to see Beca. She got concerned when 8:45 passed and Beca hadn't walked by. 9:00 soon followed with no sight of the brunette. Chloe fished out her phone and texted Beca when it hit 9:15.

Me (9:15am): Hey Becs. I didn't see you go by this morning. :( I hope everything is okay.

Chloe worked the rest of her shift, but she definitely had lost some of her bright energy. She didn't hear back from Beca at all. The redhead didn't want to be pushy, so she tried to stop herself from sending any more messages. She couldn't stop herself, though. Especially once she started to get into her own head.

Me (10:20am): Hiya! I'm at work now. Hope you have a great day.

The longer the day stretched on, the more Chloe worried that she had misread things. Maybe she had overwhelmed the other woman the night before. She ran through all of their conversations again, picking them apart, looking for anything that could have been offensive. She nearly sent a dozen apology texts before stopping herself. She kept attempting to calm down, reminding herself that she and Beca weren't in a relationship. They had just met. She didn't know if the brunette had certain times when she couldn't get to the phone at work. Maybe her phone died. Maybe she died. Maybe she was lying somewhere dying, nobody willing to help her just like the other day when she got trampled. Chloe grabbed at her phone, wanting to reach out. She stopped herself again. Finally, she just returned her phone to her locker so it wouldn't keep tormenting her.

Me (1:45pm): Hey. I hope everything is okay. I'm putting my phone in my locker - if you try to reach me. I'll check it after work.

At the end of her shift, Chloe quickly scampered to her locker, fumbling with the combination lock. She got her phone out, only to find nothing from Beca. The only messages she had received had been from Amy, telling the girls she would be out with yet another piece of man candy that weekend. And going into too much detail about what exactly that meant. Aubrey and Stacie had both expressed their displeasure at the mental pictures generated by the texts.

Chloe slowly made her way home. She had fought her own brain all day, but, now that work was over for the weekend, her mind had free rein to go nuts. She imagined all kinds of horrible things happening to Beca. She pictured her ranting to her coworkers about the smothering redhead she had been stuck with the night before. She replayed all of the awful comments that past partners had tossed at her. How she was too emotional. How she was too invested. How she was too needy. How she needed to dial it back. She thought about the comments her friends had said, trying to be helpful. She was too quick to open up, too quick to love, too quick to get involved. She cared too much, fell too deep. She was flighty. By the time she got home, she felt as down as she could remember. She slowly shuffled to her room and changed her clothes, slipping into some sweats and crawling into bed.

She must have dozed off, since she never heard Aubrey or Stacie come home. When she finally blinked her eyes open, it was dark in the apartment. She reached for her phone to check the time. It was close to 11:00. No messages had come in from Beca. Aubrey and Stacie had both texted, wondering where she was. Chloe sighed deeply. Her stomach grumbled, since she hadn't eaten since lunchtime. She dragged herself out of bed and mindlessly wandered to the kitchen. She didn't even notice Aubrey sitting on the sofa, scrolling through her phone. The blonde looked up at her roommate, surprised to see her. She smiled, but Chloe didn't even acknowledge her.

As Chloe opened the refrigerator and surveyed the options, Aubrey got up and padded into the kitchen. "Hey Chloe. I didn't know you were home." The redhead popped her head out of the fridge and looked over at her friend. Aubrey's face registered shock at how down Chloe looked. "Oh my gosh, honey, are you okay?" Chloe shook her head and reached back into the fridge. She brought out a plastic bag with leftover pizza in it from the night before. At the sight of it, Chloe started to cry. Aubrey walked close and wrapped her up in a hug. "Want to tell me what happened?"

Chloe cried into Aubrey's shoulder for several moments. She allowed the blonde to direct her to a chair, where she sat down. With shuddering voice, Chloe tried to explain. "You know … that girl? Beca?" Aubrey nodded. "You know … we had dinner … last night." She lifted up the bag of pizza. "Pizza…" Tears ran down her face in earnest. "We had a great time." Chloe looked at the floor and her face darkened. "At least I thought we did…" She glanced back up at Aubrey. "She never walked by today. She never answered my texts. I don't know what I did, but it is like she's ghosting me."

It was far too common of a situation for Aubrey to watch her friend melt down over yet another insensitive douche canoe who had blown her off. Each time, it was like someone had kicked a puppy. Aubrey knew how precious Chloe was. They had been friends for their entire adult lives. And Aubrey had never had a truer, kinder, more thoughtful friend than the redhead. If allowed to, Chloe would give her friends the world. Aubrey felt her anger boiling. She had tried to warn Chloe about this Beca person, but now wasn't the time for "I told you so." Now was the time to rip that little piece of shit a new one.

"Chloe, I'm so sorry. That little hobbit didn't deserve you. She is clearly an awful excuse for a person. Who does that? Who goes out with someone and then ignores them? Especially someone like you?"

Chloe wanted to defend Beca, but she honestly didn't know what to say. She was confused as to what had happened. "Maybe she was really busy, or got hurt…"

"NO!" Aubrey retorted, a little harsher than she should have. "You always want to defend them. But SHE is in the wrong. There is nothing that could have happened where she couldn't at least tell you what was going on." Chloe nodded sadly. Aubrey rubbed her back and continued, "You need to make sure that you don't let her apologize her way back to you. She's just another trouble maker who doesn't know a good thing when she sees it."

Aubrey continued to comfort Chloe (and trash Beca) for a while longer until both women decided to go to bed. The blonde didn't want Chloe alone all weekend to stew, so she suggested that they got Stacie and had a fun weekend of holiday baking together. The redhead cheered up a little at that idea. Once she was back in her bed, Chloe looked at her phone again. She wanted to delete Beca's contact, to just erase her. But something stopped her. She just couldn't believe that Beca was just like everyone else. She sent one last text and then swore to leave it alone over the weekend.

Me (11:57pm): I'm really sorry if I did anything to offend you. I really thought we had a good time together. Hopefully you are okay. And I hope there is a reason why you are ignoring me. Maybe I'll see you Monday.

Monday, December 13

Beca had been a wreck since Thursday night. She called out sick on Friday and went dark all weekend. She didn't check her phone; she even let its battery die so she wasn't tempted. She didn't look at her email, even though it would pile up to disgusting levels by the time she returned to work on Monday. The whole weekend kind of ran together. She barely ate, didn't shower, and mostly just laid on the couch alternating between crying and watching mindless crap on television. She couldn't shake the dream she had on Thursday night. Every time she thought of it, she felt sick inside. Every time she thought of the reason for the dream - Chloe - she felt horrible. She felt like she was betraying Jesse. She knew that she had hurt Chloe by ignoring her, and that she had cost herself a chance at anything with the redhead. She knew she was in a bad place.

When Sunday night rolled around, Beca knew she had to make a decision. Was she going to go to work the next day? Was she going to contact her therapist, who she hadn't seen in several months? She didn't have those answers. The only thing she knew for sure was that she couldn't stay in this apartment any longer. She had to do something. Fishing around in the couch cushions, she located her dead phone and plugged it in by her bed so it could charge overnight. Then took a long shower, trying to wash the ick of the weekend off of her. She pulled some long flannel pajamas on and crawled into bed. Tomorrow would be the day she got back on track.

The phone rang loudly, ripping Beca from her sleep. She slapped around her nightstand to find the offending device. Tapping on the answer button, she croaked in her sleep-altered voice, "Hello?"

"Short stack, is that you?"

"Who the hell else would it be?" Nothing better than awakening to an angry accusing CR.

"Well, I didn't know if you were off on some sexual bender or something. You didn't come in on Friday. Ignored my calls all weekend. I was hoping that you were busy getting some, and not just moping around." CR sounded peeved, but the concern was definitely leaking through.

Beca groaned. "I wasn't feeling well. I told Jessica that."

"Ashley," CR countered.

"What?"

"You told Ashley that. Jessica works downstairs. Good God, woman. Are you ever going to get that right?"

Beca huffed at her friend. "Is this really why you called me? To quiz me on the staff's names?"

Now CR huffed. "NO! I called you to see where your skinny ass was because it isn't where it is supposed to be at 10:15 on a Monday morning."

With a start, Beca pulled the phone off of her ear. Sure enough, it was 10:15. "Shit! I guess I didn't set my alarm. I'll get ready and be in. Did I miss any meetings?"

Laughing, CR replied, "No, chill girl. We are in the last week before Christmas. Sammy does his best to avoid meetings this close to the big day. Most of the work seems to be getting the Christmas party in order. It's only a week away."

Beca was now hopping around the room, trying to get her jeans on, with her phone set on speaker and laying on her bed. "Don't remind me." She rooted through her pile of shirts to find something that wasn't too dirty. "I'm almost ready. I'll be there as soon as I can get there. I'll even take a taxi."

"Ok, whatever," CR casually replied. "Hey, when you get here, you know we are gonna talk, right?"

"Yeaaaaah," Beca replied mournfully. "I figured as much."

"Cool. I'll be in your office. Get your ass up here."

When Beca raced into her office past a surprised Ashley, CR was indeed already there. The black woman was sitting in one of the visitor chairs, kicked back with her feet on Beca's desk. "Ahhh, Tiny Terror in the house. Finally."

"Shut it, C," Beca grumbled as she scowled. "How pissed is Sammy that I'm late?"

"I doubt he even knows … or cares," CR replied offhandedly.

Beca's eyes bugged and steam would have come out of her ears if she was a cartoon. "Then why did you make me race down here?"

"I knew you were probably in a spiral and needed someone to jerk you out of it."

"And you're just the jerk to do it," Beca retorted.

"Yup," CR replied with a grin. "So tell me what's going on."

Beca was nervous to talk about this to anyone. CR was her best friend and would be the best person to listen. She had been there for Beca through all of the horror of the last few years, and she knew everything that the producer had been through. Still, it didn't make it easy for Beca to open up. She clenched her teeth and decided she needed to do it, though.

"So, you know that … woman … that I had been texting with?" Beca started.

"The hot redhead bell ringer?" CR asked.

"Wha… What? How did…?" Beca stammered.

"Girl, you are as subtle as a dump truck," CR laughed. "I've had a half dozen people ask me what the deal is with you two. They see you talking at the kettle when they are coming to work. I saw her picture pop up with the texts. And you two were sitting two tables over from Ashley and Jessica at the pizza place on Thursday."

Beca's jaw dropped. "I … what?" CR just nodded and grinned. "Okaaaaaay. Yeah, well her." Her friend gestured for Beca to continue. "We have been chatting some. She works at the pet store vet place you sent me? And she was there when I got run over by that asshole the other day? And we … went out … for pizza, which you apparently knew."

"Good for you," CR said with a confident nod. "It's about time."

"No," Beca replied with a frown. "Not good for me."

"Why not?" CR asked with a confused look.

"I had a dream on Thursday … about Jesse. He was there … and he told me that I was the only … the only one who could keep him alive." Beca felt tears springing to her eyes as she spoke. She felt hot all over and choked up.

"Oh, shit," CR softly commented, dropping her feet to the floor. "You haven't had one of those for a while." Both ladies sat quietly for a moment. "When was the last one? Was it … when that Kommissar chick was in here doing that recording with us?" Beca nodded sheepishly. Her friend studied her saddened face. "Have you talked to Michelle about this?"

"No," Beca whispered.

"When was the last time you saw her?"

Beca shrugged, "Maybe four months ago? I don't know."

CR sighed. "Beca, listen to me. Look at me." The smaller woman lifted her eyes to look at her friend. "I'm not a therapist. Michelle is. You need to see her and talk about this stuff. But, as your friend, I think it is pretty obvious what is happening."

Beca lifted her eyebrows. "Oh yeah? What's that?"

"Every time you start to feel … feelings … for someone, you get wracked by guilt. You think you are betraying Jesse by finding someone else." Beca nodded lightly. "That isn't true, you know? Jesse is gone. He isn't coming back. You're 28. You aren't expected to sit there alone for fifty years just to honor him."

Through the tears, Beca choked out, "But, I'm the only one to keep him alive. If I forget him, then he'll be completely gone again."

"Sweetie, I know what you're saying. But keeping Jesse alive doesn't mean that you can't live," CR urged. "You keep him alive by remembering the awesome things that he did, the person he was. You share that. You keep his work alive. But you can't do that if you keep yourself locked up."

Beca listened to her friend's words. They rang true in her heart, but she was still torn. She didn't know how to move on without feeling guilty. But on the other hand, she had not felt alive for years - until she met Chloe. Their time together had made Beca feel more alive than she had been in so long. "I just don't know what to do," she murmured.

"You like this girl?" CR asked.

Beca nodded. "So much. She is beautiful and full of life. And she makes me … feel. I felt happy, C. I felt whole. I haven't in so long."

"That's awesome, girl." CR smiled as she thought of a lighter, less tortured Beca. "Then tell her."

"I think I ruined it, though," Beca acknowledged. "I haven't talked to her since our dinner. She thinks she did something wrong."

CR pursed her lips and thought for a minute. "This is part of your story, Beca. If there is going to be something with this girl, she needs to accept that. Just be honest about what happened. If she is the person you described, then she will understand and forgive you."

"I hope so," Beca answered softly.

"Call Michelle." The black woman stood up and clapped her hands onto her legs. "That's an order."

"Yes ma'am," Beca replied with a smirk. "Will do, sir."

"And get in touch with your redhead. Happy is a good look on you," CR announced on her way to the door.

Me (3:27pm): I'm sorry. Don't give up on me. I want to fix this.

Tuesday, December 14

Chloe didn't hear from Beca all weekend. She tried to keep her broken heart under wraps as she hung out with Aubrey and Stacie. Her roommates even tried to keep their own canoodling under control so as to not make Chloe feel bad. She made it through, even though she was still sad. She kept finding herself zoning out and thinking through her dinner with Beca. She couldn't help herself from looking for things she did wrong, messages that she missed that Beca was sending. Her confusion never settled, and she ended up going to bed on Sunday dreading Monday's shift at the kettle. She didn't know if she would see Beca or not. She couldn't' decide which was worse: seeing Beca and having the brunette ignore her or not seeing Beca at all and just worrying that avoidance was happening.

Monday's shift came and went without a Beca sighting. Chloe decided that not seeing the woman at all was worse. The fear that something bad had happened to Beca still wormed itself into Chloe's mind. It was one thing if Beca just didn't want to be around her. It was another thing if Beca was hurt or worse. Now, Aubrey kind of hoped that Beca was hurt - or would soon be hurt - for wounding Chloe. But the redhead had never been a vindictive person. Chloe moped around the store and office on Monday, dealing with customers and patients. Even the cute puppies couldn't bring a smile to her face. She hated how down she felt. She was responsible for making dinner tonight, but she had no desire to do anything. She thought back to last Monday when she stopped into the bodega and saw Beca. So much had happened in the last week. She had felt higher than she had in years, and now she felt the lowest she had been in even longer. She trudged to her locker at the end of her shift and pulled out her phone. She saw several messages from her roommates, but it was one solitary message that caused her heart to leap.

Cutie Hat Twin Beca (3:27pm): I'm sorry. Don't give up on me. I want to fix this.

Chloe stared wordlessly at the text for what seemed like hours. It wasn't that long, but it was long enough to warm her insides. She couldn't quite describe it. One sentence shouldn't have erased a weekend of pain and suffering. It shouldn't have overcome all of the doubts and fears that had taken up residence in her mind. It shouldn't have sparked such a fire in her soul. But it did. That one sentence banished the clouds and storms that had been crushing Chloe all weekend. She didn't know what Beca had been going through, or what exactly was going on. But she knew that she was still invested, still interested. And she was at least reaching out. And that was something to hold onto. That was hope.

Tuesday morning, Chloe got up and ready like usual. But she was cautiously optimistic that she just may see Beca. She didn't want to get too excited. And she sure wasn't going to tell Aubrey anything for now. She went through her usual routine, traveled her usual route, and walked at the usual speed to Larry's alcove. But the simmering hope in her heart provided just a bit of an extra spark. Chloe smiled to herself as she stepped into the area in front of Larry's. As she headed towards the door, she pulled up short when she saw a small woman standing in front of the door with two steaming cups in her hands.

"Beca! Hi!" Chloe did her best to keep her emotions in check.

"Hey," Beca answered. She gestured with the coffee cup. "I know this doesn't fix anything, but I got you … one of your disgusting peppermint drinks." She noticed that the kettle wasn't set up. "I'll hold on to them while you get set up."

Chloe smiled and replied, "Good plan." She quickly got the materials from inside of Larry's and got herself set up. Once she was done, she turned to Beca and made "gimme hands" about the drink. Beca grinned and handed it over. Chloe took a long sip and groaned, "Mmmmmm. So good." She smiled at Beca, waiting to see if the brunette had anything to say.

"So, um ….," Beca started. "I want to explain … well … a lot of things." She kicked at the ground with her hands in her pockets. Chloe thought she was so adorable in that moment that she wanted to just grab her and give her a big hug. But she didn't. She kept smiling, listening, and waiting. "I am sorry … that I looked like … I was avoiding you." Beca bit her lip, thinking about what to say next. "I have a lot of things I want to … need to say … to you. Would you like to go to dinner tomorrow night? I have some stuff tonight to make up for … missing Friday at work."

"You missed Friday?" Chloe asked with a concerned look on her face. "Were you sick? Was it the pizza?"

Beca pursed her lips before answering. "No, not the pizza. I wasn't sick. It was…" She sighed before continuing. "It is kind of in the realm of things I wanted to explain at dinner." She scratched the back of her neck. "I'm not trying to be difficult. It's just … this is a pretty big conversation … and it isn't really easy to say … and I know that this may make you want to avoid me, which I get…"

"Beca, sssshhhh," Chloe said as she patted Beca's shoulder. "You're okay. I would love to go with you tomorrow. And I want to hear what you have to share." She smiled with a reassuring look. "Thank you for coming today … and for the coffee." She raised her cup to Beca in a toasting manner.

"You know it pained me to order that disgusting concoction," Beca grumbled.

"Oh, please," Chloe laughed. "You probably have a secret fixation with some gross drink … like a raspberry white chocolate mocha."

"How dare you, Chloe," Beca replied with mock offense. "You have cut me to the quick."

"We all have secret fetishes, Becs," Chloe answered with a wink. "You don't have to be ashamed."

Beca blushed, but she also felt a lot better. She was thrilled that Chloe was open to meeting for dinner, although the meeting itself terrified her. She was also excited that things seemed to feel somewhat normal - back to their flirty banter. She couldn't keep up with Chloe on that front, but it showed Beca that there was a chance things could get back to where they were at their pizza night.

Since Beca had arrived so early to get Chloe her drink, she hung around for the next hour and a half as the redhead worked her shift at the kettle. They chatted about all sorts of things. They each would make fun of people that walked by. They came up with the background stories for individuals. Chloe would sing occasionally, to which Beca would smile and hum along. Without thinking at one point, Beca started singing while Chloe was singing "Winter Wonderland." At first, Chloe didn't say anything because she didn't want to startle the brunette. But after a verse and a chorus, she couldn't hold it in. She cut the song off and exclaimed, "Beca! Your voice is incredible."

Beca blushed deeply when she realized she had been singing out loud. "Uhhhh… thanks?"

"You can sing really well !" Chloe continued. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Beca shrugged. "I usually am behind the scenes. I used to sing more, but …. I kind of gave that up."

Chloe's eyes went wide. "No, no, no. Don't give it up. Your voice is too good to not let people hear it." Beca demurred at the comment, but Chloe persisted. "I know you know it's good. And I know it's good. My word, Beca. Beautiful, talented, adorable, AND a great singer? You are quite the find." The redhead waggled her eyebrows at the comment, which caused Beca to blush even harder. Eventually it came time for Beca to head to work. They departed with a hug and the standard kiss by Chloe to Beca's cheek. They quickly resumed their text conversation during the day on Tuesday, which made both ladies happy.

When Chloe returned home, there was a noticeable bounce in her step. Aubrey noticed the difference right away. "Chloe! Nice to see you're doing better today."

"Yup!" The redhead smiled widely as she hung up her coat.

"What happened?"

"Beca showed up this morning with coffee for me and asked me to dinner tomorrow so she could explain what happened this past weekend."

"Chloe," Aubrey groaned. "Are you kidding me? She's just jerking you around."

Chloe froze at the comment. She knew that her friend would respond in that manner. And she understood why Aubrey felt that way. There had been so many people in Chloe's past who had mistreated her. But Chloe had a feeling that Beca was different, so she wasn't going to let Aubrey kill her excitement. "Aubrey, I appreciate your concern for my wellbeing, but Beca isn't like that."

"How do you know?" Aubrey cast an exasperated look at the redhead. She turned towards Stacie for backup, but the brunette was busy ignoring the discussion. "Chloe, this girl ignored you for what? Four days? Who does that?"

"Bree, just stop," Chloe sternly responded. "You don't know her. You don't know anything about her."

"You're right, but I know you! And you were sitting there bawling your eyes out for days," Aubrey countered.

"That's not fair, Aubrey," the redhead replied. "She said she had some things she wanted to share. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt."

"It's your life, Chloe," Aubrey answered. "Don't expect me to pick up the pieces this time."

"Don't be a bitch, Aubrey," Stacie commented from the couch without lifting up her eyes from her phone. Both women spun their heads towards the tall brunette in shock at her comment. "Let her be excited. Chloe has the right to try for happiness too."

They all stood in silence for a minute before Chloe softly spoke up. "Thanks Stacie, that's all I want."

Aubrey cleared her throat. "I'm sorry, Chlo. I hope things go well tomorrow night."

"Thanks Aubrey," Chloe replied with a smile and tears in her eyes.

"But if she breaks your heart again, I'm going to beat her ass," Aubrey commented.

"And I'll help," Stacie agreed.

Chloe couldn't help but smile at the ferocious support from her friends.

Wednesday, December 15

To say that it was hard for Beca to focus today was the understatement of the year. She found herself frequently zoning out, thinking ahead to her dinner with Chloe. She was going to share some very personal and intimate information - things that very few people knew about her. Beca had always been a very private person, but that desire for privacy had grown exponentially over the last few years. People at work knew some of the details of what Beca had been through, but she had been purposefully vague about details. Now she was about to bare her soul to someone who she had known for less than three weeks.

Beca knew that this was the right path. Chloe had been very forthcoming at their dinner the week before, sharing without hesitation. It was something that Beca had really appreciated about the redhead. Being open and vulnerable was never something that Beca had felt comfortable with. Her parents had modeled a tumultuous environment, which Beca had often run away from. She kept her distance from everybody she could. So the plan for the evening was definitely stressing Beca out.

She had chosen not to tell CR about the dinner. Even though her friend often gave her great advice, it was usually dished out with a dose of sarcasm and joking. Beca was already worried enough without her brash friend poking at her. The producer spent her day working on a few tracks, but a lot of her time was actually spent staring blankly at the computer and exchanging texts with Chloe. Beca felt a quivering excitement in her chest thinking of the impending dinner. She and Chloe kept the texts light and flirty. Both of them seemed to be leaving most of the real conversation for dinner.

Once the workday wrapped up, the two ladies met up in the alcove outside of Larry's again. They greeted each other with a hug. Beca earnestly commented, "Thank you so much for agreeing to come tonight. I know that I didn't deserve a second chance."

Chloe offered a soft smile. "Well, my roommates tried to talk me out of it, but I'm kind of stubborn." She continued, matching Beca's sincerity. "I think you're worth it."

"Thanks," Beca shyly responded. Then she led Chloe to a small Italian cafe a few blocks away. "I'm impressed, Beca. I thought you didn't know the restaurants in the area."

Beca dipped her head and quietly said, "I asked my assistant for some suggestions."

"Well, I'm impressed that you researched it," Chloe replied with a smile.

"If it sucks, she's fired," Beca joked. Both women chuckled at the comment. They chatted as they waiting on their food, and also while they ate. The food was delicious, and they had a great time together. Soon, though, the evening reached the point where Beca knew that she needed to explain what was happening. "So, I promised you an explanation," Beca started.

"Beca, you don't need to say anything that you aren't ready to share," Chloe explained as she placed her hand on top of the brunette's.

"No, I need to do this," Beca answered. She looked up at Chloe and smiled softly, "I want to do this. It is important."

"Ok," Chloe replied. "I'm ready to hear what you have to say."

Beca took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. She explained about her family and her parents, about their split and how it deeply affected her. She had become guarded and withdrawn. Her father disconnected from their family, leaving her alone with her mom. Then her mom passed away when Beca was a junior. She ended up having to move in with her father and step monster to finish high school. She went to the local college, fully intending to keep her head down and run out the clock. She didn't account for Jesse.

"This guy wouldn't leave me alone. He kept on trying to be my friend. Made me go places, watch movies, share my feelings." Beca looked up at Chloe and smiled. "He was a real pain in the ass."

"The nerve of him," Chloe answered with a smirk.

"I know, right?" Beca replied. "Anyway, we got to be pretty close. Then we started dating. He pushed me to be more open. I really credit him for helping me to kind of emerge from that dark place I had been in for so long. We stayed together throughout college, and then we moved to New York. He scored music for television shows and commercials. He wanted to move up to movies. Things weren't perfect, but we were making it. We got married two years after we moved here. We had gotten into a rhythm. I was happy. We were happy." Beca started to tear up and hesitated her story. Chloe grasped Beca's hand. "This is the hard part…. So we were married about two years. It was December two years ago. I had a really bad day at the label. I was working with some dumbass rapper who thought he was God's gift to music and women. He kept hitting on everyone, demanding things with the album. I worked with him, but nothing was going right. The recording dragged into December. We don't do a lot of work at the label in December. Sammy, the head of the label, loves Christmas. He tries to keep things low-key at the end of the year. But this ass-clown kept us busy leading up to Christmas. So I was really struggling. I had been texting Jesse all day about it. When I got home, he wasn't there. He had gone to find me some of my favorite ice cream."

"That was sweet," Chloe said.

"It was," Beca replied, nodding her head. "He never made it there. A garbage truck ran a red light and hit his car. He died on impact."

"Oh my God," Chloe gasped. "I'm so sorry, Beca." Tears had sprung to the redhead's eyes. Beca also was crying. Both women sat there for a few moments. Chloe held Beca's hand, rubbing her knuckles gently with her thumb.

"He's been gone for two years. I was hoping that things would be easier by now, but they aren't. I just feel like I can't get past it."

"That's perfectly normal, Beca," Chloe reassured the other woman. "Loss is tough. There isn't a right way to grieve."

"So much of who I became was because of him. He helped me to become more open to people. He encouraged me to try new things. Since he's been gone, things are just … weird, off. I haven't written any songs since Jesse died. I haven't celebrated Christmas, really. It brings back too many bad memories."

"Becs, I'm so sorry honey." Chloe couldn't believe what she was hearing. She kept rubbing Beca's knuckles and felt her heart breaking for the brunette.

"Last week, when we went to dinner …. I loved it. I had such a good time. I hadn't felt that happy or that free for … well, two years." Beca looked up at Chloe and smiled. "I had a nightmare that night. Jesse showed up and told me I was forgetting him. It freaked me out so much. That's why I missed work Friday and went into a spiral. I didn't know what to do. I felt so guilty."

"That's completely understandable," Chloe softly commented. "I get it if you aren't ready to … whatever."

"That's the thing," Beca replied. "I DO want to … whatever. Hang out. Get to know each other." She swallowed down the anxiety. "I think you're really special. You're amazing, and I can't even believe that you want to be around me. I think I'm ready. I just needed you to know what you were getting into. So you could run for the hills if this," she waved her hand around at her body, "is too much for you."

Chloe laughed lightly. "I can't tell you how much it means that you told me all of that. I am soooo sorry that you have been through so much pain. And I really think you're special too. I'm willing to wait, to go slow, whatever. I want to see where this goes." She offered up a wide smile to the woman next to her. "See if we can help you rediscover the music, the joy."

Beca locked into the bright blue eyes next to her. "I would like that. I'd like it a lot."

Thursday, December 16

Chloe was flying high on Thursday after her dinner with Beca. She appreciated how open and vulnerable the other woman had been. The way they left things was that they were going to explore what this thing between them was. That was great news to Chloe. She knew that Beca had a lot of baggage, but most people do. The brunette may have had more painful thing in her past than others. However she was strong and kind, and Chloe was drawn to her like nobody she could remember.

The two women met up at the kettle in the morning, with Beca arriving about fifteen minutes earlier than normal. They chatted and drank their coffees, watching the people hustle by. They texted off and on all day. Beca grew more comfortable the more they exchanged messages. She would vent about people at work, which made Chloe laugh. Usually the redhead kept her phone in her locker during the workday, but she made an exception today. She was having too much fun. Her coworkers noticed she was more distracted than usual, and they brought it up to her.

"Yo, Chloe," Flo called out a little after lunch. "What has you so attached to your phone?"

"Hmm?" Chloe queried, looking up from her screen. "What did you need?"

Flo laughed and elbowed the other vet tech Lily. "Red is whipped, I think." She turned her attention back to the redhead. "What are you looking at so much? You've been attached to the phone all day."

"Oh, it's a … friend … that I met," Chloe bashfully answered.

"A friend?" Flo repeated with a snort. "I have lots of friends, but none that make me go all gooey like that."

"It IS a friend," Chloe protested. "It may be something else later, but for now …"

"Wait…" The diminutive tech snapped her fingers. "Is this that little brunette I saw you talking to the other day in here?"

Chloe's face reddened. "Little? Like either of you should talk." She scowled at Flor before continuing. "And, yes, it is her … Beca, if you must know."

Lily said something that Chloe couldn't hear. She looked at Flo for an explanation. "Lily asked if she needed to check up on this … Beca … friend person."

A shocked look crossed Chloe's face. "No, not at all. Lily, stay out of this."

"She said too late," Flo relayed. An evil grin crossed her face. "I'm sure she'll let you know what she finds."

"Lily! Lily!" Chloe let out an exasperated huff. "She better not scare her off like that one guy."

"That guy was an ass, and Lily saved you a big headache."

"Yeah, but still…" Chloe whined. She thought for moment. "Do you think it is too late to add someone to the party list tomorrow night?"

"I'm not sure," Flo replied, raising her eyebrow. "You're thinking of bringing her? To meet these maniacs?"

Chloe shrugged. "I was thinking about it. She'll meet you all at some point. Might as well be at something fun and festive."

"I'm sure it will be okay. Just ask Benji. He's over in exam room five."

---

When Chloe got home, Stacie was lounging on the sofa. She looked up at her friend and smiled. "Hey Chloe. How was your day?" Her brow furrowed for a moment. "Actually, I haven't seen you since Wednesday. How was your date the other night?"

Chloe lit up, thinking about her night out with Beca. "It wasn't really a date. Beca wanted to explain some things about her that … could affect … us."

"Us?" Stacie asked with a coy smile. "There's an … us?"

A blush rose up Chloe's face and she bit her lip. "I hope so."

"So," Stacie asked, sitting up on the sofa and patting the cushion next to her to get Chloe to sit. "What did she have to share? Is she married or something?" The innocent question caused the redhead's face to pale. "Oh, no, Chloe. Is she?"

"No … not now," the redhead stammered, flustered.

"Going through a divorce?" Stacie offered.

"No … her husband died two years ago," Chloe quietly explained. "I don't know what she is comfortable with me sharing. Just know it was a very sad story."

"Oh, God, Chloe," the tall brunette replied. She leaned forward and clasped her friend's knee. "That's awful. She's pretty young, isn't she?"

"Yeah, like 28," Chloe answered. "We had such a nice time, Stace. I really like her."

"That's awesome, Chlo," her friend repsonded. "You deserve to have happiness."

"Thanks, Stacie." The redhead smiled widely. Her face fell moments later. "I know Bree doesn't approve of her."

Stacie waved off the comment. "She'll get over it. She didn't approve of me either at first. She warmed up to me. And now look at us." She waggled her eyebrows at the statement.

"I don't really want her to warm up to Beca THAT much," Chloe laughed. "I'm thinking of asking her to come to the Christmas party at work with me."

"Asking who to the party?" Came a question from the door of the apartment. Aubrey had entered and started walking to the sofa.

Chloe felt panic rise up her chest. She answered with hesitation. "Uh … Beca?"

"Ugh, her," Aubrey groaned as she leaned over to give Stacie a kiss. "You let her back in the picture. What did she say to convince you? Some sob story?" Chloe gasped at the comment. Stacie pinched Aubrey's upper arm. "Ow! What the hell, Stacie?"

"You should probably stop talking, honey," Stacie warned. "You are missing out on some important information."

"I'm sure I am," the blonde snapped back. "There's always a good story. 'I'm married, but I'm getting a divorce.' 'Mycat was sick.' 'There was a death in the family.' 'I had playoff tickets.' What was it this time?"

Chloe's eyes flashed with anger. "You need to shut up, Aubrey. Right now."

"Yeah, Bree. Back off," Stacie agreed.

Aubrey looked at both women with confusion. "How am I the bad guy here? Beca was the one who ghosted Chloe and then magically came up with a good explanation."

"Why do you have to be such a bitch, Aubrey?!" Chloe exploded as she jumped off the sofa. "You don't know ANYTHING about Beca. God, you make me so mad sometimes." The redhead stomped to her room and slammed the door.

Aubrey spun to look at Stacie, opening her mouth to complain. Before she could say anything, her girlfriend stuck her finger in her face. "Shut it. You crossed a line. I tried to warn you."

"What did I do?" Aubrey asked incredulously.

"Beca's husband died two years ago," Stacie firmly stated. "And then you start tossing around those fake excuses…"

"Shit," Aubrey hissed, rubbing her face.

"Yeah, shit. That's what you're in. Deep shit," Stacie coldly stated.

---

Chloe laid in her bed for a while, keeping the door locked and ignoring Aubrey's pleas to talk to her. She just couldn't deal with the blonde right now. It didn't help that some of the examples she had tossed out during rant had hit too close to home. Chloe knew in her heart that Beca wasn't lying or coming up with excuses. She wasn't like that. What kind of sicko would invent a story about a dead husband? The redhead wasn't naive about the world. She knew that people had the potential to be awful. But she could tell Beca wasn't one of those people. She was a good person who had been through hell. And she deserved to have someone care for her.

Me (7:27pm): Hey. Are you available to chat?
Cute Hat Twin Beca (7:30pm): When have you asked first before? :)
Me (7:31pm): I just needed to talk to you. Can I call?
Cute Hat Twin Beca (7:32pm): Surrrre. Everything okay?
Me (7:33pm): Totes. I'm calling now.

Beca picked up as soon as the phone started ringing. "Hey Chloe. You okay?"

"Yeah. My roommate was being a bitch. I just needed to hear your voice."

"Well, here I am. Hi."

"Hi" Chloe smiled and relaxed as she listened to Beca's attempt at levity. They chatted a little bit about their days, even though they had already been texting all day. After about ten minutes, Chloe decided to venture forward. "So, Beca, I had a question."

"Okaaaaay," the brunette replied hesitantly. "You know you can just ask a question. You don't have to announce it."

"I know. I guess I was saying it so I couldn't chicken out."

"Mmmm," Beca hummed. "Gotcha."

"So, at work, at the vet place," Chloe nervously began.

"Yes, you work at the vet place," the brunette confirmed.

"Right. Well, we are having our Christmas party on Saturday. It's going to be a lot of fun. There is music and really good food. Everyone brings stuff to share."

"That sounds awesome. We have one at work too," Beca casually replied.

"So I was wondering, if you might want to, maybe, go with me?" Chloe's voice got high and squeaky at the end of the question. She quickly added, "If that wouldn't be too much holiday exposure. I know you said that you aren't a big fan. Which I totally get…"

"Chlo…"

"I understand. I mean, it makes perfect sense…"

"Chloe…"

"I just said I wanted to help you find joy and festive … stuff."

"CHLOE!"

"What?" Chloe was startled by the force of her name on the other end of the phone. "Why did you yell?"

Beca laughed. "You weren't listening to me! And you just kept on talking."

"Oh," Chloe sighed. "Sorry. I was a little nervous."

"I could tell." A brief silence passed. "You're right, ordinarily I wouldn't want to go to anything like that. I don't really even want to go to the one at my office."

"I get it…" Chloe sadly responded.

"Can you let me finish please?" Beca asked, slightly agitated.

"Sorry, continue."

"Ordinarily I wouldn't go, but … I think I would love to go with you," Beca calmly stated.

"You … would?" Chloe inquired in a surprised tone.

"Sure," the brunette confirmed. "I meant what I said the other night. I want to give this a chance. And I like how I feel when I'm with you."

"Awww, thanks Becs," Chloe replied. "I feel the same way."

"Just as long as you are okay with me leaving if things get tough." Beca was scared to mention this, but she wasn't sure how things would go with so many new people and all the holiday trappings.

"Of course," Chloe reassured the brunette. "We will leave whenever you need to."

"You don't have to leave just because I do," Beca countered. "I don't want you to miss…."

"Beca, if we are going together, we are leaving together," Chloe protested. "That's how this works." Beca didn't say anything for a few moments. The redhead waited to see what was happening, but then she spoke up. "You okay Beca?"

A slight sniffle came through from the other end of the phone. "Yeah. I just … I just don't really know how THIS works, you know?"

"Not really," Chloe replied honestly. "What do you mean?"

Beca sighed before explaining. "I never had any boyfriends … or girlfriends … in high school. Jesse was my first … everything. And we didn't do the normal dating thing. We just … kind of … were together. It just … happened."

Chloe smiled as she listened to Beca explaining the situation. The woman was adorable. That couldn't be stated enough. The more that the redhead found about the brunette, the more she liked her. "I get it, Beca. That's fine."

"And, I never have been … with a woman." Realizing what she said, Beca gasped and tried to explain. "I didn't mean like … THAT. Although I haven't done … THAT either. Not that I was thinking about … THAT. God, I'm saying a lot of words."

"Ha ha, Beca, you're fine," Chloe assured. She couldn't help herself, though. "You haven't thought about … THAT? Cause I have."

"You have?!" Beca squeaked.

"Oh yeah," Chloe cooed. "You better believe it." She could hear the audible gulp from the other side of the line. "HAHA, Beca you're adorable."

"No I'm not. I'm badass."

"You keep telling yourself that," Chloe answered.

Beca breathed out loudly through her nose. "ANYWAY, as I was TRYING to say…"

"Sorry, continue."

"My life has felt it was always in upheaval. Nothing was stable. I didn't have anything to hold onto. Once Jesse was gone, everything was chaotic. Things just started to feel somewhat stable. And now,…"

"Now what?"

"Now … I feel off kilter. Like I'm falling. Not in a bad way. I like it, but it still makes me nervous that I'm … doing it wrong." The vulnerability of the confession melted Chloe's heart even more than it had been for this woman.

"Then fall into me," Chloe offered.

"What do you mean?"

"You said you feel like you're falling. Fall into me. I'll catch you. I'll keep you safe. You aren't doing this alone. I'm tough enough to help. So fall into me." Chloe's heart pounded at what she had just said. She worried that she was again being too much, pushing too ast.

"Damn, Beale." Beca replied after a moment, a loud sniffle accompanying the words. "You have no idea what you're doing to me."

"If it's anything like what you're doing to me, then, yeah, I have an idea." Chloe felt shivers all over her body at the exchange. She hoped that Beca felt the same way, and she was fairly confident she did.

Friday, December 17

After spending about a half hour with Chloe at the kettle, Beca bounced into the lobby of Residual Heat. She walked up to the information desk with a wide smile. "Good morning, Jessica. I got you a hot chocolate. I wasn't sure what kind of coffee you liked, so I went ahead and got you this instead. If you don't like it, that's okay." She handed over the cup to the startled woman behind the counter.

"Uhhhh, thanks?" Jessica nervously replied.

"Do you like hot chocolate?" Beca asked. "It can be pretty good. I think Larry's does a good job."

"Yes, yes I like it," the blonde answered. She smiled as she realized that there was no ulterior motives in the drink. "I actually prefer it to coffee."

"Awesome, glad to hear it," Beca replied with a wide smile. "Well have a great Friday. I'll see you later." The tiny brunette bounded to the elevator, juggling a tray of drinks and her bags. Jessica leaned forward, watching the woman, confused as to what was going on.

After Beca exited the elevator, she approached her office and greeted her assistant. "Gooood morning, Ashley!" She set her bag down and grabbed a cup out of the beverage tray. "I think that I heard that you liked caramel macchiatos? Is that right?"

Ashley's eye widened in surprise. "Yes. That's … that's my favorite."

"Perfect!" Beca grinned widely. "So, how is your day going? Excited that it's Friday?"

The assistant nodded wordlessly, studying Beca's unusually bright and smiley face. "Yeah, it should be a good weekend."

"Super!" The producer bent over to get her bags. "So, things are pretty slow this week and next. Hopefully you won't have too much to do. I'm not expecting to give you much. I'm just gonna head in." She pointed at her office. "I'm guessing CR will be here in a couple of minutes. Just tell her to head on in."

"Ok, Miss Mitchell," Ashely responded cautiously.

Pausing at the door, the small brunette turned and looked over her shoulder. "Ashley, please call me Beca. We've worked together a long time."

"Sure, … Beca." The assistant smiled awkwardly and picked up her phone as the producer went into her office.

---

Beca sat at her computer, humming to herself as she checked her emails. Two cups of hot beverages sat on the desk. Her humming switched to a song that had been running through her head.

" Fall into me and I'll catch you darling…"

Her door flew open and CR entered. "Why are you being weird?"

"Hey C," Beca replied without turning her head. She pointed at the cups on the desk. "I got you one of your drink monstrosities."

The talent developer stared at her friend with a baffled look on her face. "Uhhh, thanks. So why are you being weird?"

Beca turned to look at CR. "What do you mean that I'm being weird?"

"I got called by both Jessica and Ashley saying you were acting weird."

"Pssssh, no I'm not," Beca countered as she turned back to her computer. "I just got them drinks."

"Yeah, that's weird."

"It's not like I never do anything nice for anyone," Beca observed.

"Yeah, it is just like that," CR replied. At the glare delivered by Beca, her friend explained. "It's not like you're mean. You just kind of live in your own bubble most of the time."

"Mmm hmmmm," Beca answered as she scowled. "Are you going to take your drink? Or is that too weeeeiird?" She smirked to herself and started scrolling on the computer. CR just stared for a moment. Beca started singing quietly to herself again.

" Fall into me and I'll catch you darling…"

"What song is that?" CR asked.

"Hmmm? What now?"

"The song you were singing. What is it? I don't think I've heard it before. Is it a new one by Emily?"

Beca frowned and shook her head. "I don't know. I guess I didn't realize I was singing." CR raised her eyebrows and grinned. The brunette saw the grin and huffed. "What is that look for?"

"Nothing, I just haven't seen you like this in a while," CR responded.

"Like what? What am I doing?" Beca asked with frustration.

"You're singing. Making up songs. Interacting with people." The black woman grinned widely. "If I didn't know any better, I would think you were in looooooove."

"Oh, shut up, C," Beca snapped.

"No, no, I'm happy for you. This bell ringer is good for you."

"Her name is Chloe, and, yes, she makes me very happy," Beca responded, still scrolling and clicking with her mouse.

"In all seriousness," CR said after watching the serene look on her friend's usually stressed face, "I am thrilled for you. I'm guessing you guys talked?"

Beca sighed and turned to face her friend, pushing away from the computer. "Yes. We went to dinner on Wednesday, and I told her what was going on. I told her about Jesse and the nightmare. I explained about a lot of things. She was awesome about it. And now, we … are just … seeing where things go."

"I'm proud of you, Beca," CR responded sincerely. "I may joke and pick on you, but I really just want to see you happy. You know that, right?"

"Yep," Beca answered, nodding her head. She thought for a moment before adding. "You know you're my best friend, right? I really appreciate all you've done for me, sticking by me through all this mess."

"Ok, now you're really weirding me out," CR laughed. She straightened her features when she saw Beca scowl. "Thank you for saying that. I care about you. We all do. I'm happy to see you happy. And making music."

"I'm not making music!" Beca retorted, turning back to her computer.

"Sure you aren't. 'Fall into me. I'll catch you darling,'" CR sang with her throaty voice.

Beca's eyes flew open. "What? What did you just say?"

"I sang what you were singing when I came in, and just a few minutes ago."

"Noooo, really?" Beca asked sheepishly.

"Like I said, you're making music again," CR grinned. She stood up. "I'll leave you too it."

Beca bit her lip for a moment. She stopped her friend as she neared the door, "Hey, C. I want to get Chloe something for Christmas. I know it is late, but any ideas?"

CR shook her head. "I'm sure you'll figure out something. Maybe finish that song. That would be the best thing she could get."

Saturday, December 18

"Are you sure I'm dressed okay?" Beca asked for the fifth time.

"Yes, Becs," Chloe answered with a smile. "You look great. Don't worry so much."

"You don't know me very well if you think I won't worry just because you said that," Beca mumbled.

"I know. I figured if I keep saying it, eventually it will stick." The two women were standing outside of As Good As It Gets Pets and Vets. Chloe looked predictably amazing in her red velvet dress and candy cane striped tights. Beca nervously tugged at her own gold sweater, worried that it was too tight. It was paired with her nicest black skinny jeans and ankle boots. "You look great. Stop pulling on your sweater. It will stretch it out." Chloe grabbed Beca's hand to stop her from the nervous tic.

"It's too tight," Beca complained.

"No," Chloe answered. "It's the perfect amount of tight. You have a rocking body, Becs. You should show it off." She winked as she said it, causing Beca to blush ferociously. "Now let's go in. They'll love you."

Chloe yanked the door open and the two women stepped into the office. It had been transformed from what Beca remembered from her previous trip there. The display tables were now decorated with festive paper and covered with food. Christmas lights ran down the stairway and wrapped around the table legs. Holiday music played loudly in the wide open space. People milled about, talking and eating. Holiday themed shapes projected onto the walls from strategically placed lamps. "Wow. They really went all out," Beca commented. "I barely recognize the place."

"Yeah," Chloe acknowledged. "Benji pays a couple of us to come in and decorate in the morning to make it look like this. Tomorrow afternoon a different group will change it back for Monday."

"That's a lot of work!" Beca observed. "He must really enjoy the holidays."

Chloe shrugged. "Maybe. He really does it because he cares so much about his employees. He wants them to have something special for working so hard."

"Sammy is the same way," Beca agreed and nodded. "He goes all out for our party." Beca thought for a moment, biting her lip. "Hey, that reminds me. I know it is late notice, and I don't want to overload you with … well, me. But our party is Monday. Would you maybe … want to come?"

Chloe grasped Beca's arm tight and smiled, kissing her on the cheek. "Totes! I would love to go with you to your party." She pulled back a bit and dialed down the excitement. "I mean, that's a big step. If you aren't ready to do that, it's fine. You don't have to invite me just because I brought you."

Beca nodded. "I know, and thanks for being careful with me. But I really do want you to. It would make it much more tolerable." She offered up a smile as she finished.

"Then I'll be there. Just give me the deets."

"The deets?" Beca laughed. "Does anyone still say 'the deets'?"

"Everyone does," Chloe huffed. "Stop picking on me and let's get some food."

The two women wandered through the room. Chloe introduced Beca to her coworkers. All of them seemed very nice. Beca's eyes lit up as she surveyed the food spread across the tables. For a small person, she could put away a serious amount of food. And she loved eating. Her friends were usually shocked at just how much such a tiny woman thought about and partook of food. There were several kinds of crock-pot meatballs, little smokies, pigs in blankets, tiny quiches, deviled eggs, sausage cheese balls. There was a whole table devoted to dips: spinach artichoke, queso con carne, guacamole, hummus, seven layer dip. Beca loaded up her plate with Scotch eggs and buffalo chicken dip. She decided to make a second run later to attack the desserts. She already had spied numerous cookie types, pecan tarts, cheesecake, brownies, chocolate torte, truffles, and at least four kinds of pie. The fourth table was covered with drinks. In addition to soda, beer, and wine, bowls of punch and egg nog lined the table. The women found two seats along the back wall and started to dig in.

"I feel like a pig for taking all of this," Beca whispered as she looked around at the amount of food on other people's plates. "These people know how to throw a party." With an impressed look around, she attacked her plate.

"You're funny," Chloe said over a mouthful of dip. "And I'm impressed that you didn't hold back on getting food. Most people would be really restrained with their choices at their first party."

Beca looked up with a straight face. "I was being restrained," she announced. She tossed a half a deviled egg in her mouth. "You should see me uncontrolled." She grinned like a chipmunk, which caused Chloe to burst into laughter. The rest of the night went much the same. The two women talked, ate, drank, laughed, and sang along with the group caroling. Benji talked about how happy he was with the way the year had gone. Then he passed out Christmas bonuses in red envelopes. By the end of the party, Beca and Chloe found themselves slightly buzzed and definitely beyond full. "Ugh," Beca groaned. "I ate way too much."

"Better than frozen entrees?" Chloe teased.

With her eyes closed and her head tilted back, Beca answered, "Most of them. The chicken parm is pretty dang good." She grinned and rolled her head to face Chloe, who was beaming at her. "Yes, this was much better. Thank you for bringing me."

"Thank you for coming," Chloe replied. She grasped Beca's arm and leaned her head onto her shoulder. "I'm not ready to head home yet. Do you want to go for a walk first? Burn off some of this food."

Beca pouted. "It's cold out there. And it's warm in here."

"Yes, but they are going to be closing up in here pretty soon," Chloe commented, booping Beca's nose.

"Fiiiiine," Beca whined. "Let's go walk around." She started to stand up. "Should we help clean first?"

"Nope," Chloe replied as she shook her head. "Benji hires a cleaning crew to come in and take care of it. We'll come in on Monday to a stack of washed containers for us to take home."

"He's pretty thoughtful," Beca said.

"Yeah, he's a great boss," Chloe agreed.

The duo bid their farewells and stepped out into the chilly night. They were bundled up with coats, scarves, and hats. Chloe clutched Beca's arm in both of her hands. The brunettes kept her hands in her pockets. They both had their cream colored knit caps on. The redhead chuckled lightly to herself. "What's so funny?" Beca asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You know, I own like … twenty hats," the redhead announced, looking at the other woman's face. "I kept wearing this one hoping that I would get to talk to you."

"Really?" Beca asked. Chloe nodded. "Huh. Interesting." They walked in silence for a few moments. "I bought this hat last winter. I liked it, and I thought it looked cute. Jesse never liked me in hats. I mean, I wore them in the winter. But he didn't think they looked great on me. I think it was my first attempt to … I don't know … pick up the pieces? Discover what my life looked like on my own." They walked for a bit more. "I remember picking it up and trying it on. I thought, Jesse would hate this hat. Then I thought, He isn't here . And I didn't cry at that thought. And so I got the hat."

They kept walking, enjoying the easy silence. Chloe finally quietly commented, "I'm glad you got the hat. Because … you're really cute in it. And that kind of brought us together." Beca smiled at the comment.

As they kept walking, they observed the many holiday lights along the way. "You know, I always loved going out as a kid, riding in the car and looking at lights," Beca ruminated. "We did it every year. There were some really cool neighborhoods around, where all the houses would decorate. I looked forward to it." She thought for a few moments before continuing. "We never did it again after my dad left. Once I got to college, Jesse dragged me out to look at lights. We did that every year. Our first year up here? Damn, there is no prettier place to be for Christmas than New York. I couldn't bring myself to go out since he died."

Chloe could feel tears running down her cheek. She hurt for Beca, for all the pain she had been through. But she also loved that the woman trusted her enough to be open. She had learned enough about her to know this wasn't something everyone got to see. So Chloe cherished it. "I'm really honored to be doing it with you."

They realized they had circled back to the pet shop, where they had met up hours before. Neither of them wanted the night to end, but it was getting late … and cold. Beca turned to face Chloe and held her hands tightly. She looked intently at her face. "Thank you."

"For what?" Chloe asked

"For finding me and bringing me back. I just …" Beca swallowed and fought off the tears that wanted to spill out. "I had forgotten what it felt like to be happy." She leaned forward nervously and kissed Chloe gently on the lips. The redhead didn't move and just stood there dazed. "Was that okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, definitely… definitely okay. More than okay." The tables had turned. Chloe felt herself falling this time, pressing her fingertips to the burning place where Beca's lips had been.

Monday, December 20

Beca stood outside of Chloe's apartment, pulling at the hem of her jacket. She had gone home to change earlier in the afternoon then headed over to Chloe's. They actually lived fairly close to each other - which made sense, since they worked in the same area. Sammy had given everyone at Residual Heat a half day off to go home and get ready for the party. That allowed the caterers the room to maneuver and get the party facility ready. The label rented out eight floors of a high rise. There were recording studios, offices, conference rooms, and large meeting rooms peppered throughout the levels. For the party, they were using one of the big ballrooms on the ground level. Chloe also had taken a half-day off from work. That allowed her to get ready and also get dinner started for her roommates - since it was her day to cook.

The tiny brunette now stood in the hallway outside of Chloe's place. She was wearing skinny jeans with a black silk shirt and a purple velvet jacket. She also held a small bouquet of flowers in her hand. She had actually debated with herself more about the flowers than her outfit. After steadying herself with a few deep breaths, she knocked on the door. She heard movement and muffled voices coming from inside. A few moment later, a pretty thin blonde opened the door. She looked Beca up and down with a critical look on her face. "You must be Beca," she stated.

"Uhhhh, yeah," Beca answered nervously. "Are you Aubrey?"

"Yep," the blonde answered in a clipped tone. "Chloe will be ready in a few minutes. You can wait inside." She then turned and walked away, leaving the brunette to close the door.

Beca walked in and looked around. It was a pretty spacious apartment for New York City. The producer seemed to remember that Chloe mentioned one of her roommates was independently wealthy, which would definitely help with the payments. A gorgeous tall brunette approached Beca and extended her hand. "Hi! I'm Stacie."

"Beca."

"Chloe has told us a lot about you," Stacie said with a smile. "It's good to meet you."

"Oh, cool," Beca answered awkwardly, noticing that the blonde was glaring at her from the kitchen. "Isn't there a fourth roommate? Amy or something?"

Stacie laughed. "Yeah, we rarely see her. She's always out doing her own thing. I think she may be home for Christmas."

"Best kind of roommate," Beca commented. She could feel eyes glaring from the kitchen, but tried to focus on the nicer woman talking to her. "So Chloe said you're a scientist, Stacie?"

"Yep!" The tall brunette smiled at the question. "I work with Pfizer. Developing pharmaceuticals." She leaned in and whispered, "I can't share much. Privacy issues. You get it, right?"

"Yup. Definitely," Beca nodded. "I'm in the same boat when I'm working with artists."

"And Aubrey is the same way with her court cases!" Stacie offered, hoping her girlfriend would jump into the conversation - which she didn't. "I guess Chloe is the only one who can talk about work here." Beca raised her eyebrow, so Stacie explained, "We don't WANT to know anything about Amy's day. Trust me."

"I'm readyyyyy," Chloe announced as she popped into out of the hallway into the living area. Beca's hung spun to see her date and her jaw fell open. Stacie giggled at the look on Beca's face. Chloe was wearing an electric blue dress with silver sparkly crystals embedded in it. Her shapely legs led to silver heels. The dress highlighted Chloe's cleavage with its low neckline and cap sleeves. A diamond pendant hung down tantalizingly low. She had her auburn hair pulled up into a intricate bun and wore dangling diamond earrings which drew attention to her neck. She had a navy wool coat draped over her arm for when they went outside.

"Uhhhh, damn," Beca mumbled. "You … you … look … amazing."

"Smooth," Stacie commented at Beca's stuttering. "Seriously, Chloe. You look fricking hot."

Chloe coyly tilted her head and bit her lip. "Thanks." She looked Beca up and down. "You are gorgeous, Beca." The brunette blushed at the comment. "Should we head out?"

Beca nodded and grabbed Chloe's coat to help her get it on. Aubrey walked up to the duo and made eye contact with Chloe. "You look great, Chloe. I hope you have a good time." Then she turned her attention to Beca. "Take care of her. If you hurt her, I'll fucking kill you."

Stacie swatted her girlfriend's arm. "Lighten up Bree." She then looked at Chloe and the now terrified Beca. "You two have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Is there anything you wouldn't do?" Chloe asked with a smirk.

"Haven't found it yet," Stacie answered with a laugh and a wink at Beca. That caused the tiny brunette's eyes to widen even more. She then led the couple to the door. She leaned forward to Beca and leaned towards her, whispering loud enough for Chloe to hear as well. "Don't worry about Aubrey. She never was completely taken out of the packaging. I'll get her to get the stick out of her butt." She smiled kindly and ushered them out.

Chloe turned to Beca and smiled widely. "You ready?"

Beca nodded. "Yup. Let's do it."

---

When they walked into the party, Chloe gasped in awe. "Oh my God, Becs. This is amazing!" The room was a winter wonderland. Long sparkly ribbons hung down from the ceiling, which glowed blue. Tables dotted the floor and were covered with white cloths. Ice sculptures rose up from multiple locations. Piles of what looked like snow were scattered around the room. The dance floor looked like an ice skating rink. A large Christmas tree sat in the corner with white and blue lights. It looked like something out of Narnia.

"Sammy outdid himself this year," Beca breathed. "This is incredible. To think I didn't want to come to this two weeks ago." The ladies looked at each other fondly. Beca was holding Chloe's hand and tightened her grasp. They walked into the room and headed towards the bar.

The night was magical. Beca chatted with her coworkers, introducing Chloe each time. They sipped their icy cocktails as they mingled. The head of the label, Sammy, came by with his wife and greeted Beca fondly, gushing over Chloe. Ashley and Jessica came by to talk for a while. Beca kept her arm around Chloe's waist, pulling her close every time someone walked up. Chloe loved the cuddles that she was getting from Beca. She was seeing a completely different side of the woman. Beca was in her element, and that gave her a higher level of confidence - which was VERY attractive to the redhead. She felt herself drawn even more to the tiny brunette.

After thirty minutes or so of mingling and chatting, the crowd was directed to their assigned tables for their dinner. Beca and Chloe found themselves sitting along with Ashley and Jessica and CR and her wife Denise. There were two other empty seats at the table for eight. When CR walked up, she grinned widely and greeted Chloe. "Well well. I finally get to meet the woman who turned my grumpy Grinch into a smiley softie."

Beca turned bright red and scowled at CR. Chloe beamed at the greeting. "Really? Oooh, I can't wait to hear more about this transformation." She turned to face Beca and batted her eyelashes.

"I'm doomed," Beca groaned. The dinner was incredible, which was no surprise with how the rest of the evening had already gone. They had chilled shrimp cocktails, iceberg lettuce salads, and cool strawberry soup. For dinner they had snow crab and Alaskan King crab, Snow Hill Farms pork chops, and chicken fettuccine Alfredo. The tables were cleared and of desserts of all kinds were wheeled out on decorated carts. Beca excused herself to survey the options for Chloe and herself. Just after she left, a tall whirlwind of brown hair and emerald satin whizzed by into the seat next to Chloe.

"I'm sooooo sorry I'm late guys," the winded woman gasped. "My flight got delayed like three times. I need a drink." She turned to look at the redhead next to her. "I don't know you."

"Holy shit, you're Emily Junk," Chloe said.

Emily smiled widely. "Yep!"

"Oh my God. I'm a huge fan," Chloe gushed. She extended her hand. "I'm Chloe. I'm here with Beca Mitchell."

The tall singer's eyes flew open. "You're … here … with Beca? You're here WITH Beca?" She looked over at CR who nodded knowingly back. "O-M-G!" She launched herself to hug the redhead. "You're here with Beca! Oh, I'm so happy."

"I am too!" Chloe beamed. "She is awesome. I'm having a great time."

"Oh, I love Beca," Emily sighed. "She is one of my best friends. She is the reason I'm even in music."

"Really?!" The redhead asked with a surprised face. "I knew she worked with you, but…"

"Oh totally," Emily continued. She grabbed a glass of water and drained half of it in no time. "So, she came in one day when I was waiting tables. I was singing to myself, and she told me that I had an amazing voice and needed to get into music. I gave a bunch of excuses. So she came every single day to Antonelli's Eatery to try to convince me. Finally we put a song together, and she sent it out. Now we are here." At the end of the story, Emily smiled widely at the memories.

"That's incredible," Chloe breathed, her eyes wide at the story. "She was persistent." She laughed as she added, "We had an Antonelli's Eatery at our college too. We ate there all the time."

"Fun!" Emily slapped her thighs. "Yep. I spent a year there until Beca graduated from Barden. Then we both saw our careers take off."

"Wait," Chloe said. Her brow furrowed, and she looked thoughtful. "Beca went to Barden?"

Emily looked around the table, confused. The other women shrugged. "Yeah, she graduated like … six years ago?"

"So they have like fifty desserts. I gave up trying to remember them all," Beca announced as she approached the table. "I brought a plate with several things we can share … oh hey Emily, you're here!" Her face lit up at the sight of the singer.

"You went to Barden?" Chloe asked excitedly.

"Uhhh, yes?" Beca replied as she sat down. "Why?"

"I went to Barden!" Chloe exclaimed. All of us - Aubrey, Stacie, Amy - we all did. We were in the Bellas!"

"You were a Bella?!" Emily squeaked. "My mom was a Bella!"

"WHAT?!" Chloe exclaimed a little too loudly. She looked around and smiled at the people staring at her. "Who was she?"

"Katherine Purdy," Emily responded. "She married my dad after she graduated and became Katherine Junk."

"Wait," Beca stated, flustered by the wealth of information. "I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that you went to Barden."

"I know!" Chloe agreed. "This is nuts! We must have been there for a couple of years at the same time!" She sat for a moment and then her mouth dropped open. "Mitchell. Is your dad … THAT Mitchell?" Beca's head dropped. "Monster Mitchell? Mind Numbing Mitchell? Miserable Mitchell?"

Beca quietly answered, "He wasn't always that bad." She sheepishly added, "Things kind of went off the rails after he left my mom."

Everyone sat silently staring into space, processing the information. Finally Emily whispered, "This is crazy." The table of ladies all nodded their heads. Slowly the party reclaimed the women. Ashley and Jessica went to check out the desserts. CR and Denise drifted away to chat with some other guest. Emily began to make the rounds like an artist needed to do. Beca and Chloe sat quietly, still a little shellshocked by the revelations.

Beca whispered, "Does this change anything between us? It feels like it did."

Chloe shook her head. "It doesn't have to. It was just surprising." Beca nodded and reached for Chloe's hand, needing the connection and reassurance. The redhead readily met the request and squeezed Beca's hand tightly. They sat for a moment before Chloe spoke up. "Beca, your dad … he … he said some really awful stuff … He seemed really unhappy and said stuff …"

"Trust me, I know," Beca nodded. "I heard the whole time I was there. He … that's one of the reasons we aren't close." She sighed heavily. "I haven't talked to him in years. He reached out after Jesse died, but it didn't lead to anything. He needs therapy." Beca laughed softly at the comment. It seemed so simple, but it carried great truth.

"How did you make it through all of that and end up so incredible?" Chloe earnestly questioned.

Beca scoffed. "You, my dear, are clearly drunk. Or just incredibly misguided."

"Stop, Becs," Chloe countered softly. She placed her hand on the other woman's knee. "You are amazing. And the more I find out about you, the more convinced of that I am." Beca tried to brush off the comment, but Chloe continued. "You discovered Emily? And pushed her to record, and launched her career? I thought you told me you aren't nice."

"I guess I have a soft spot for women with big puppy dog eyes," Beca joked. She looked up to see Chloe sitting mimicking that exact pose. "Yeah, something like that."

"Lucky me," Chloe murmured as she pushed closer to Beca and placed a soft kiss to the brunette's lips. Beca returned the kiss. The couple softly leaned into each other for a few moments. They then pressed their foreheads together and caught their breaths.

"I've got that falling feeling again, Chlo," Beca breathed.

"That's okay. I do too," Chloe softly responded.

"Doesn't it scare you?" The brunette asked with raised eyebrows.

"It's terrifying," Chloe replied with a smile. "Isn't it great?"

Tuesday, December 21

"It's my last day working the kettle," Chloe stated sadly.

"Hey, that isn't all bad, is it?" Beca asked. "You get to sleep in a little, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose," the redhead sighed. "But I'll miss being out here."

"You're one weird chick, Beale," Beca laughed. "I would be thrilled to get two extra hours of sleep in my warm cozy bed."

"Yeah, but you're out here," Chloe pouted. "Not in my warm cozy bed." Her face morphed into a wicked smile. "Unless you want to be there instead." She waggled her eyebrows, drawing the desired blush on the brunette's face. "Seriously though, when will I see you if we don't have these morning meetups?"

Beca pursed her lips and wrinkled her brow, thinking of her schedule. "I'm not sure. I am off after tomorrow. We could hang out at some point, maybe? Do you have any ideas?"

"What are you doing tonight?" Chloe asked. "You could come over. We were going to watch some Christmas movies. I would love to have you there. I'm getting used to spending evenings with you."

"Would Aubrey be okay with that?" The brunette's face was etched with concern. "She seems to kind of hate me."

Chloe frowned. "I hate that she made you feel like that. She can be kind of a jerk sometimes, but she is still my friend. I think she's being protective." Chloe grabbed Beca's hand and squeezed. "But I want you there. And so that means you should come."

"Ok, sounds good," Beca smiled. "Can I bring anything?"

"Just your cute butt, Mitchell."

"I'll be there, Beale."

---

"Beca's going to join us for movie night," Chloe announced once the four women were all home and changed into cozy outfits. Amy was actually home for once. She said she needed time to recharge before the holiday push. None of the others really wanted to know what that meant, so they didn't follow up with any questions.

"Cool," Stacie commented as she stirred something on the stove. "The more the merrier."

"Who is Beca?" Amy asked. "I can't keep track of the ginger's conquests."

"Don't be gross, Amy," Chloe countered. "She's a woman I've been seeing for a few weeks. We went to each other's work parties."

"Oh, how did that go?" Stacie inquired, looking up at her roommate.

"It was amazing," the redhead responded with a giant grin. "Emily Junk was there!" The other women buzzed at that news. "Beca actually produced her albums - discovered her actually." Then she remembered the big news. "OH! I found this out. Beca went to Barden! She graduated two years after us."

"Are you serious?" The tall brunette's mouth fell open at the news. "You just found that out?" Chloe nodded.

"Or so she says," Aubrey mumbled.

"What?" Chloe snapped. "What are you implying?"

"It's just … She always seems to have something to keep you engaged," Aubrey explained. Both Amy and Stacie groaned at the comment. Chloe's eyes flashed. "It just seems convenient."

"Are you saying that she got Grammy winning artist Emily Junk to lie for her?" Chloe barked. "I would wager that she didn't find having her parents split up … convenient. And I would guess she didn't think her mom dying was convenient. And I sure as hell know she didn't find her husband dying … convenient ."

"Chloe…" Aubrey whined.

"NO!" Chloe exploded. "You listen to me, Aubrey. I really like Beca. And she has been through more than you could imagine. Do you know who her dad is?!"

"How would I…" Aubrey started.

"DR. MITCHELL - remember him? The lit professor? The one who always used to say that awful stuff about his ex wife and daughter?" Aubrey stared open mouthed. "THAT was her dad. THAT is what she dealt with. She is sweet and kind and wonderful. And you are going to be nice to her, Posen. Or else," Chloe ranted. Silence fell over the apartment.

After a few moments, Amy quietly asked, "Or else what?"

"Amy!" Stacie yelled. The larger blonde woman cowered, mumbling about this being why she stayed away. "Let's just dial this back. Chloe, Beca is welcome here. She's important to you, and I want to get to know her. Aubrey, my dear, you need to chill the hell out. I don't want you to be mean to her, or else … and you don't need to ask what I mean." She glared at her girlfriend, who uncharacteristically shrunk back. Their dinner together was a little tense, but eventually everyone relaxed until they were enjoying each other's company. They cleared the table and started to move to the living room when there was a knock at the door.

Chloe bounded over and opened the door to greet Beca. "Hi! I missed you." She leaned in for a hug and a soft kiss to the cheek.

"I missed you too," Beca whispered.

"You don't need to whisper!" Amy called from the living room. "We can't hear you in here."

"Aaaaand, that's Amy," Chloe explained, laughing and pulling Beca inside the apartment.

---

The five women had taken their places in the living room. Aubrey and Stacie cuddled up on the love seat. Amy lounged on the large accent chair. Beca and Chloe sat close together on the sofa - the redhead had her legs pulled up underneath her, and she curled up into Beca's side. They each had bowls of popcorn and mugs of hot chocolate. Aubrey spoke up,"So what are we watching, ladies?"

"Beca is the guest," Amy stated. "She should get to pick." Aubrey scowled on the loveseat, but she got an elbow from her girlfriend and stayed quiet.

"That's a great idea, Becs," Chloe said with a smile. "What's your favorite Christmas movie?"

The small brunette stayed quiet. Everyone looked at her and noticed the uncomfortable look on her face. "Uhhh … I … uhhh don't really like movies." The other four woman just stared in disbelief.

Aubrey mumbled under her breath, "Oh sweet Jesus. It figures." She got another elbow to the ribs.

Chloe looked at Beca with confusion. "I thought you said … you watched movies with …"

Beca explained, "Yeah, uh, Jesse," she looked over to the other women, "He was my husband. He … passed away two years ago."

Stacie nodded with a sad smile. "Chloe told us. We're so sorry."

"Thanks," Beca acknowledged. "So he would get me to watch movies, but I mostly watched them to make him happy. I never really liked them. I don't think I've watched any since … you know."

Chloe wrapped Beca up in her arms. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"It's okay," Beca responded. "I want to watch one. Any suggestions?"

" Elf ," all four women replied without hesitation. Beca laughed at the unanimity.

"Well, then I guess it's Elf," she announced.

The movie played through much to the delight of the women. Beca found herself surprisingly enjoying the film. Sure, she could probably predict everything that was going to happen, but the movie was more about fun. Chloe, obviously, sang along with much of the music. Beca chuckled to herself, thinking of how the redhead kind of matched Buddy's energy. At one point, all four former Bellas were singing together - and for a moment, Beca thought that maybe a cappella wasn't so dorky after all.

As the movie headed towards its finale, Chloe leaned over to see how Beca felt about what was going on. One of the redhead's favorite scenes was when Santa and Buddy took off to John Debny's beautiful score. She couldn't help but smiling, though, when she saw that Beca was curled up asleep - snoring softly while clutching the hem of Chloe's shirt. The redhead leaned over and kissed the brunette on the top of her head. Then she looked over at her roommates, all of whom were staring at the scene. She looked like someone who was holding a puppy. They all smiled at her - even Aubrey. Chloe just cuddled up with Beca and watched the end of the film.

She hated to wake the sleeping brunette up, but she knew Beca still had to get home and work the next day. She offered to let her stay at the apartment, but the brunette insisted on heading home. She said she needed to make sure she had everything ready for tomorrow, since it was their last day of the year. Chloe insisted on getting an Uber for Beca, though. When it came, the redhead escorts the brunette down to the street to meet her driver.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep," Beca said. "That happens with movies a lot."

"It's fine," Chloe reassured her. "I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to doze off. That is a compliment." She beamed at the brunette.

"You are … amazing," Beca earnestly commented, while searching Chloe's face. "You just … always know what to say. You make me feel so … cared for." The honesty of the moment made Chloe's heart bubble over.

"I love caring for you," Chloe remarked. "You're worth having someone care for you that way."

Beca shook her head and breathed out heavily. "I have a hard time accepting that. But I'm glad you believe it. You're helping me to maybe believe it too."

"Good," Chloe breathed as she gave Beca a sweet goodbye kiss. "Let me know when you get home."

"I will. Talk with you tomorrow." Beca kissed Chloe one more time and climbed into the car for the ride back home.

Wednesday, December 22

When Jesse died, Beca had the unpleasant task of figuring out the burial details. At the age of 26, she clearly had not expected this to be something that she would have to deal with. In addition, she had grown up in Georgia. Things like cemeteries and funerals are different in the South and the North. Up North, burials will sometimes have to be delayed for months for the ground to thaw. There aren't as many locations available in big cities for burials. Plus, Beca and Jesse were both from Georgia, and their families still lived there. Beca was at a loss as to what to do.

Jesse's parents were also dealing with the grief of losing their only child. They didn't blame Beca - she didn't do anything to bring his death to pass. But they were hurting, so they kind of took it out on her. They demanded that he be buried in Georgia. They wanted to control the funeral, with their pastor at their church. Beca was almost completely cut out of the process. She knew that practically it was better to do everything in Georgia. Most of the people who would want to be present lived there. Most of the people who would visit the cemetery lived there. It just meant that his wife had to not only deal with her own grief and guilt, but also take care of the logistics of shipping her husband's body to Georgia AND travel there for the memorial and burial. Resident Heat was beyond supportive. She was granted as much time off as needed without losing pay - part of their standard bereavement clause in employee contracts. In addition, Sammy offered to fly anyone who wanted to attend the service down on the company jet. CR, Denise, Sammy, Emily and a couple of other producers and sound people took him up on the offer.

Sometimes Beca wished that she had been stronger in the moments after Jesse's death. That she had demanded that he be buried close to her. She knew that she would never move back to Georgia. Her life was always going to keep her in New York or Los Angeles. She convinced herself that it was more important to meet the needs of the larger group of people rather than just her needs. But that didn't make it any easier for her. She didn't have a place to visit. No, Jesse wasn't there in the cemetery. But for someone mourning, sometimes just the close proximity to SOMETHING helps. Beca didn't have anything. That's why she found herself at the corner where the accident happened multiple times over the passing months. It was the closest thing she had to connect to him. On the first anniversary of his death, Beca went to that corner. It wasn't anything special. There was an apartment building on two corners, a bodega on another. But there was a small park on the final corner. It was there that Beca sat down on an empty bench. She had brought a bottle of Mountain Dew - Jesse's favorite soda - and a bag of popcorn - his favorite snack. She also brought a single red rose, which she kept next to her. She just sat and watched the cars go by, the people cross the streets. Nobody had any clue that she was a grieving widow, looking out at the intersection where her husband was killed by a speeding garbage truck. Nobody who went past her on the bench had any clue that her heart was shredded beyond belief, that she was barely holding on. To them, it was just a unseasonably mild day in late December. She laid the rose down on the ground before she left. Then she went home and drank too much and passed out on the sofa.

On the second anniversary of Jesse's death, Beca again found herself on that same street corner. She sat on the same bench. She had the same soda and snack, the same rose. This time, the weather was chilly - much more appropriate for late December. She again stared at the intersection, thought about what she had lost there two years before. Again, nobody had any idea what she had been through or what she had lost in that spot.

This time, though, things were much different. She had met Chloe less than a month before, and her whole life felt different. She felt alive again. She felt hope and love - was it too soon to label what she felt as love ? She wasn't sure. It was different than what she felt with Jesse. She had no doubt that Jesse loved her and that she loved him. But she never felt as cherished or as cared for as she did with Chloe. This confused her. It worried her. Jesse was the only experience she had when it came to relationships. He was her first boyfriend, first sexual partner, her husband. As far as she knew, that was how things were supposed to go. He treated her light years better than her dad treated her mom, so she figured she was making out well in the deal. But things were not ideal. Jesse always wanted Beca to go along with his ideas, his likes, his hobbies, his plans. He made her watch movies and go to sports games. He dragged her to nerd conventions. He never wanted to go to concerts or music festivals. He got irritated when she fell asleep during a movie. He hated it when she was awkward at a get together with his friends or co-workers. But, Beca didn't know any better. She thought this was how things went.

Chloe was completely different. In just the short time they had been together (were they together?), Beca had felt more loved for being herself than she ever did before. She didn't know what to do with that feeling. She didn't know what she should be feeling or doing in this moment. So she decided to talk to Jesse. Because she didn't know what else to do.

"Hey, Jesse. It's been two years. I can't believe it, honestly. I still miss you so much. This wasn't how things were supposed to be. I still want to call you when something great happens. I want to text you when I have to work with some idiot rapper. I still almost order your General Tso's chicken whenever I get Chinese food." She laughed to herself and wiped a teary eye. "God, I miss you." She sat quietly for a few moments, letting the tears fall. She took a swig of the Mountain Dew and then grimaced. "God, that stuff is terrible. How did you drink that?" She thought a bit more, watching the light slowly dissipate as afternoon turned to evening. "I met someone. I don't know if you would want to know that or not. I would say you would like her, but you probably wouldn't. You would feel threatened by her, probably. She's unlike anyone I've ever met. And I find myself falling deeper and deeper each time I see her. I love you, and I always will. But, I think I may love her too. And I hope that's okay. I mean, there really isn't anything you can do to stop me. What are you going to do? Haunt me?" A horrified look passed over Beca's face as her own words registered. "I'm going to Hell." She laughed quietly. "Well, that's just me, I suppose. I never did know what to say or do." She sighed and looked around again. "I wish you were here. You were my best friend. I'm beginning to wonder if maybe that was what we were supposed to be all along. Not that I regret marrying you, cause I don't. I just … I don't know if I would have ever been what you needed … or wanted." She shivered as the cold intensified in the deepening shadows. "I hope I'm doing the right thing. I'm just trying to figure it out as I go along. But I really like Chloe. And I hope that you're okay with this. I think she's good for me." Beca stood up and grabbed the soda and popcorn and tossed them into a nearby trash can. She picked up the rose and kissed it before laying it on the ground. "Merry Christmas, Jesse." Then she slowly walked away.

---

The women had just finished Aubrey's soup and were clearing the table when they heard a knock at the door. "Anyoneexpecting guests?" Stacie asked, looking pointedly at Amy.

"Not me," Amy announced. "Like I give out my address to the blokes." Aubrey and Chloe shook their heads - both at Stacie's question and Amy's response.

Stacie walked to the door and opened it to reveal a shivering and blotchy faced Beca. "Oh my God, Beca. Are you okay?" The smaller brunette nodded her head and waited outside the door.

"Did you say Beca?" Chloe asked as she hurriedly approached the door. "Beca! Come in! You're freezing." She ushered the brunette into the apartment and rubbed her arms. "Bree, can you get her a bowl of soup, please? That will help warm her up." Chloe bustled Beca into the dining room where Stacie met her with a blanket. They draped the cloth over Beca's shoulders as Aubrey brought a bowl of soup to the table. "Eat some of this, Becs," Chloe said. The other women exchanged worried glances, wondering what was going on.

After several silent minutes where Aubrey and Amy finished cleaning up from dinner and Stacie sat with Chloe at the table with Beca, the small woman had stopped shivering. She looked much better, even though she appeared quite tired. Chloe spoke up. "Do you want to go sit on the sofa?" Beca nodded. Stacie and Chloe guided her into the living room where they bundled her up on the couch. The redhead cuddled up close and wrapped her arms around Beca. Everyone patiently waited for her to be ready to talk.

Quietly she eventually explained. "I went to see Jesse today. It's been two years." Chloe clutched her tighter as the other women sat respectfully. "I can't actually go visit him because his parents insisted he be buried in Georgia, so I went to the place where he … died." She leaned her head back onto the back of the sofa and looked up at the ceiling. Tears began streaming down her cheeks again. She choked out, "I'm sorry I didn't call or anything first. I just didn't want to go home and be alone."

"Sweetie…" Chloe pulled Beca tight against her chest. "I'm glad you came." She just held Beca and let her cry. Thirty minutes passed as they sat wrapped up in each other's arms. Amy went to her room after a few minutes. Aubrey and Stacie quietly shared the loveseat.

Chloe thought Beca might have fallen asleep until she heard a soft voice in her ear. "Do you think … I could stay here tonight?" The brunette breathed in and out. "I swear this isn't just a trick to get into your bed."

Chloe quietly chuckled. "I wouldn't care if it was." She kissed the top of Beca's head. "Of course you can."

The four women spent a quiet calm evening in the living room. They would occasionally get up to use the restroom or get a drink. Stacie and Aubrey had both brought tins of cookies home that they had received as gifts from work. Everyone munched on the treats. Eventually it was time for bed. Aubrey and Stacie bid everyone good night. Chloe grabbed Beca's hand and led her into the bedroom. Beca was clearly nervous, although she was also more clingy than usual. Chloe fished through her drawers to find a spare set of night clothes for Beca - a large t-shirt and a pair of sleep shorts. She directed Beca to the restroom so she could change. Beca washed her face and got into the borrowed clothes, folding up her own outfit before returning to Chloe's room. She was moving a little slower than normal, weighed down by the heaviness of the day. As she opened the door, she squeaked in surprise when she saw Chloe standing in just her underwear. "I'm so sorry!" Beca covered her eyes with her hand and turned around, trying to find the doorknob so she could go back out.

"Becs! You're fine. Come back in here," Chloe called from across the room. Beca could hear rustling around. "There, I have a shirt on, you can open your eyes." Beca cautiously dropped her hand and opened her eyes. Chloe was standing next to the bed with a bemused look on her face. She was wearing a t-shirt that barely reached mid-thigh. "You act like you've never seen a naked woman before."

"Uhhh, I haven't," Beca sputtered.

"Oh come on," Chloe teased. "You've seen yourself. And I'm sure you were in gym in school. And you've seen movies."

"Yeah, but not … you know … you!" Beca exclaimed.

Chloe advanced with a smirk on her face. "Oh, is there something special about me?"

Beca was bright red. She stammered, "Yes … I mean … yeah. We are … you know…"

Chloe was only a few inches away now. She had a devilish look on her face. "We are … what?"

"I don't know … we … " Beca's brain was completely short-circuited.

The redhead took pity on the brunette. She laughed and put her hand on Beca's shoulder. "I'm just messing with you. You ready for bed?"

Beca gulped, the image of a topless Chloe still burned in her mind. "Yup."

The two women climbed into bed. Beca tried to stay as far over as possible, but Chloe pulled her closer. "C'mon Becs, I don't bite." In a whisper she added, "Unless you want me to." Beca tensed up as Chloe again started giggling. "Sorry, I couldn't help it." She slid up behind Beca and wrapped her arms around the brunette. Chloe fit up tight against Beca's back. The brunette could feel Chloe's breasts firmly pushed into her, their legs tangled up together. She wondered how she was going to get any sleep at all with the fire raging in her body. But Chloe softly hummed into her ear, rubbing Beca's forearms. Slowly Beca's breathing began to even out. She felt wrapped up in a cocoon of love. She felt comforted and safe. She felt cared for and cherished. She felt like she could relax. It was the most incredible feeling.

Beca softly whispered into the darkness, "Thank you, Chloe. I'm so glad I met you."

Chloe softly kissed her hair and whispered back, "Thank you for letting me love you." Both women stilled at what Chloe had said, but they soon slipped into sleep - wrapped up together beneath the covers.

Thursday, December 23

Chloe awoke to an all-too-familiar empty bed. At first, it didn't register that anything was off. Then her brain kicked in, and she remembered that she didn't go to bed alone. She sat up and looked around, hoping that Beca was just in the restroom or kitchen. The apartment was eerily quiet. The redhead flopped back onto her pillow and wanted to cry. The evening came back to her - it had been lovely. She and Beca had laid in each other's arms for hours. They spooned when they climbed into bed. But, as human brains are wont to do, Chloe's brain brought back in vivid Technicolor the possible missteps. Beca walking in on Chloe topless. Aubrey's abrasive approach to Beca. And - probably the biggest problem - Chloe's final statement of the night. Thank you for letting me love you. The dreaded L word. It had just fallen out. Chloe couldn't help but panic that she had freaked Beca out. It wouldn't be the first time that the redhead had accelerated down the affection superhighway faster than her partner. She didn't want to jump to conclusions, but this felt all too familiar. An internal debate waged between her experience-based fears and her logical explanations. Beca had come over on her own last night. She had never expressed a distaste for Chloe's affectionate nature. If anything, she had sought it out. Yet, a history of abandonment was very loud and hard to ignore.

Looking around the room, Chloe didn't see a note. Her phone showed that it was 9:00, and there were no messages from Beca. The redhead crawled out of bed. She shivered in the cool morning air, so she slipped into a robe and pulled on a pair of fuzzy socks. Padding out into the kitchen, she noticed the dark apartment. She startled when she saw Stacie leaning against the kitchen counter with the lights off, sipping a mug of coffee. "Oh, hey Stace. I didn't know you were up."

The tall brunette nodded sleepily. "I've been up for a little while. The door closing woke me up."

Chloe's face fell. "Oh…. That must have been Beca."

"Yeah," Stacie confirmed. "She was trying to be quiet, but she didn't know about the beep."

Biting her lip, Chloe tried to tamp down the building concern. She controlled herself as best she could and asked, "Didshe say anything? Before she left?"

Stacie quirked an eyebrow. "She didn't tell you she was leaving?"

Chloe shook her head. "I woke up, and she wasn't there." Her head fell and she stared at the floor. "I think I may have scared her off."

"Chloe…" Stacie whispered. "What happened?"

"I might have said that … I loved her … sort of," Chloe mumbled.

Stacie looked at her friend calmly. She reached over onto the counter and picked up a folded piece of paper. "She left this for you." She reached her long arm out towards the redhead. Chloe grabbed the note and swallowed down the growing lump in her throat. As she opened it to read it, Stacie offhandedly commented, "It doesn't sound like she's upset."

Chloe stopped reading and looked at her friend in shock. "You read it?!"

"It wasn't taped shut or anything," the tall brunette said, shrugging her shoulders.

"You knew I was freaking out!" Chloe squeaked. "Why didn't you stop me from overreacting?"

"Hey, don't attack me, red. I have my own high maintenance girlfriend. Don't need another."

Chloe glared and then read what Beca had written.

Hey Chloe,
Sorry to sneak out like that. You looked so adorable sleeping that I didn't want to wake you. I had to run home for a bit, but I wondered if you wanted to come over around lunchtime. We could bake some cookies and hang out. I will text you later. Didn't want the beep to wake you up.
Beca
PS - Thank you for loving me so well
PPS - You probably need my address. Haha.

The note ended with Beca's address. Chloe's eyes filled with tears at the note. Beca wasn't upset at her. She wanted to see her today. And she even acknowledged what Chloe said the night before - and in a positive way. The redhead looked up at her friend with a wide grin and watery eyes. "She wants me to come over today."

Stacie nodded. "I saw that. Read the note. Remember?" She smirked at her friend. "I think you may have found the one you've been waiting for, sweetie."

"Yeah," Chloe thickly murmured. "I think so too."

---

Beca pulled the door open and greeted Chloe with a big smile on her face. "Hey! Thanks for coming over." The women embraced and held each other for a good minute before breaking the hug. "You ready to make some cookies?" The redhead excitedly nodded. She entered the apartment and looked around.

"Good Lord, Becs. This apartment is beautiful." The place was huge by New York standards. There was a large open living room with a nice sized kitchen. It was all decorated sparsely but tastefully. A newer living room set circled around a large mounted flatscreen. A well kept upright piano rested against the wall. Large windows looked out onto the city. A hallway led off to what Chloe assumed was the bedroom and bathroom. It was quintessential Beca.

Beca watched the redhead taking in every detail before speaking. "Yeah, uh … so I couldn't stay where Jesse and I lived … It was too much. We got a settlement from the city, and Jesse had a small life insurance policy. So I put the money into a new place. I figured I would be here for a while, so it was a good way to get on my feet."

Chloe offered a sad smile. "It is perfect." She toed off her shoes and headed into the kitchen to meet up with Beca. "What are we cooking?"

The brunette responded eagerly, "I had three recipes that I used to make every year. I haven't baked in two years … much like everything else. But I do sour cream cookies, cool whip cookies, and pecan pickups."

"I bake … nothing," the redhead said with a giggle. "So those all sound wonderful to me."

The couple moved around the kitchen, exchanging meaningful glances and soft touches. Beca directed Chloe in how to measure and mix. They made the sugar cookie batter and placed it in the refrigerator to chill. Then they mixed chocolate cake batter, eggs, and cool whip together - rolling balls of the mixture in powdered sugar before sliding them into the oven to bake. The cookies baked fairly quickly, so they had to stay attentive to switch baking sheets around. Beca kept offering helpful tips she had learned over the years. "Line the cookie sheets with parchment paper, so you don't have to wash the pans between batches." Once the chewy chocolate treats were finished and laying on cooling racks, Beca moved on to getting the pecan pickups. "This is my grandmother's recipe. They are like tiny pecan pies, but with a flaky crust. Just … oh man. They are my favorite." Chloe was so taken with this version of Beca. The brunette was just so adorable as she bustled around in her apron, giving gentle encouragements. The redhead could picture herself doing this every year, one day helping their kids up on a stool to help out.

The afternoon passed by in a delightful swirl of sweets and conversation. They took a break at one point, sharing some of the cookies while sitting at the table. Chloe's eyes fell on the piano. "So, do you play often?"

Beca glanced over to the instrument. "I do at work a lot … but not so much any more at the house." She paused for a moment. "That was actually Jesse's piano from when he was growing up. I insisted on keeping it. It was something we shared - music."

"That makes sense," Chloe agreed. She softly asked, "Would you mind playing me something?"

The brunette chewed her lip for a minute before getting up and walking over to sit on the stool. "I hope that it is in tune. I haven't had it checked after it got moved here." She allowed her fingers to dance over the keys. There was a slightly sour sound, but nothing too disruptive. "I'll need to have a tuner come out next year." She took a deep breath and exhaled. "This is something I learned a long time ago. It has been … coming to mind … quite a bit lately." Chloe sat on the sofa, nearly vibrating in excitement. Beca played the opening bars before breaking into song.

Contact is all it takes
To change your life to lose your place in time
Contact, asleep or awake
Coming around you may wake up to find
Questions deep within your eyes
Now more than ever you realize

And then you sense a change
Nothing feels the same
All your dreams are strange
Love comes walkin' in
Some kind of alien
Waits for the opening
Then simply pulls a string

Another world, some other time
You lay your sanity on the line
Familiar faces familiar sights
Reach back remember with all your might
Oh there she stands in a silken gown
Silver lights shining down

So when you sense a change
Nothing feels the same
All your dreams are strange
Love comes walkin' in
Some kind of alien
Waits for the opening
Then simply pulls a string
Love comes walkin' in

Oh, sleep and dream is all I crave
I travel far across the milky way
To my master I become a slave
Till we meet again some other day
Where silence speaks as loud as war
Earth returns to what it was before

And then you sense a change
Nothing feels the same
All your dreams are strange
Love comes walkin' in
Some kind of alien
Waits for the opening
Then simply pulls a string

Love comes walkin' in
Love comes walkin' in
Baby, pull the string
Love comes walkin' in
Love comes walkin' in yeah

Silence infiltrated the apartment. Beca sat quietly on the bench while Chloe willed her heart to calm down. She cleared her throat before she choked out a question. "You … um … that song … has been coming to mind?" Her big blue eyes twinkled as she stared at the brunette.

"Yeah," Beca bashfully responded. "It has been." She shyly looked up at Chloe, meeting her eyes. "Recent developments and all…" The two women studied each other for a few moments, smiling at the crackling connection between them. Beca nervously spoke up and broke the silence. "You know, last night … was the best sleep I've had in a really long time." She smiled at Chloe and let a smirk creep onto her face. "I was wondering if you might want to spend the night here this evening. Only if you want…"

Chloe grinned widely. "I would love to." Her eyes sparkled as she beamed at Beca. "But it's your turn to put on the topless show." Beca's face turned bright red, and Chloe cackled and swished her way into the kitchen to grab another cookie - letting her hips sway in a devilish manner.

Song used in this chapter: "Love Comes Walking In" by Van Halen There is a stripped down version at this link: /8n2BamvYIvA
It is just Eddie Van Halen on the piano and Sammy Hagar. I would love to hear a slowed down version by someone like Ingrid Michaelson

Friday, December 24

After a glorious night of sleep cuddling in Beca's bed, the women sadly said their goodbyes. Chloe had plans with her roommates for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and Beca didn't want to intrude. The redhead tried to convince her that she was welcome, but Aubrey's pissy attitude scared the brunette. The couple wrapped each other up in a long embrace at Beca's door, exchanging sweet soft kisses. Finally Chloe pulled herself away and they parted ways with the promise of keeping in touch and planning a get together after the holidays.

Once Chloe departed, Beca shuffled back into her room and sat silently on the bed. She could still smell Chloe's perfume on the sheets. The apartment felt lonely. For the last two years she had slept alone in this room. The pain had just about dissipated by this point. She had grown used to being by herself. She didn't LIKE it, but it was a familiar feeling by now. But, now … her world had been turned upside down. She found herself missing Chloe in their moments apart. The thought of not seeing the redhead for two days actually pained her. She still felt off kilter, like she was losing her balance. But she found it didn't bother her nearly as much now. In fact, she much preferred the unsteady swooping feeling. It was the result of Chloe, and that was always a good thing.

Beca padded into the bathroom and got her shower. She dressed and aimlessly wandered into the living room. She grabbed a sour cream cookie and munched on it, reminiscing about the wonderful day before. A knock on the door startled her out of her daydream. Beca walked to answer, shock registering on her face as she saw a blonde standing on the other side. Aubrey had her hands clasped behind her back. She was dressed impeccably as always in a Christmas sweater and blue jeans. "Aubrey? What are you… How did you know…"

"Hello, Beca. Your address was on the note you left the other day," she explained. "Can I come in?"

"Oh, yes, I'm sorry," Beca replied. She stood off to the side as the blonde walked in.

"This is a gorgeous apartment," the blonde commented. "I'm impressed."

"Thanks," the brunette murmured. "Can I get you some … water … or coffee. I have cookies." She pointed at the containers in the kitchen. "Chloe and I made them yesterday," she added meekly.

"She told me," the blonde replied stiffly with a tight smile. "Look, Beca, let me get to why I'm here." Beca nodded with a concerned look on her face. "I know that I have been … less than welcoming … to you thus far."

"That's a generous way to describe it," Beca mumbled before she could stop herself.

Aubrey's lips twitched. "I deserved that." She took a breath and continued. "I want to apologize. You haven't deserved any of it. I've always been protective of Chloe. She puts her heart out there so easily, and she gets hurt. A lot. She can't help herself. And I just was looking out for her."

"I know it isn't my place," Beca hesitantly replied. "But is that really your job?"

"No," Aubrey responded. "I am realizing that. You are … very special to her. And you really make her happy. And you seem to get her and appreciate her."

"I really do. I think I might love her," Beca startled herself with the admission. "I haven't told her that, so it kind of weird telling you that first."

"It's kind of obvious," the blonde commented with a smirk.

"It … is?" Beca gulped.

"Yup," Aubrey answered. "Not as obvious as how much Chloe loves you, but…." She then looked pointedly at Beca.

The brunette's eyes flew wide. "Oh." A big grin crawled onto her face.

"So, back to why I'm here," Aubrey resumed. "I wanted to invite you to come over and spend the holiday with us. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I think Chloe wants you there. And Stacie and Amy kind of like you. And, truthfully, I do too." Beca smirked at the comment. "Don't let it go to your head."

"I won't."

"Would you come? We go to church tonight. Then we watch Christmas Vacation and drink wine. We do presents in the morning and a big dinner."

Beca scratched the back of her neck. "That sounds … lovely." She smiled at the blonde. "I know it probably was difficult for you to come here. I appreciate it. When should I come over?"

"Whenever you are ready to," Aubrey answered. "We'll be there all day. And there's a redhead waiting who isn't as sparkly as the season dictates who will be glad to see you."

---

Chloe was indeed glad to see Beca. She squealed in excitement when the brunette showed up on her doorstep. Then she launched herself at her blonde friend for a hug when the brunette shared about the morning's surprise visit. The day passed with the five women comfortably interacting. It felt perfect. Around four in the afternoon, they all started getting ready for the Christmas Eve service. They bundled up and trudged through the cold weather to a small church a few blocks away. The sanctuary was warm and inviting. The five women picked a pew in the middle of the room, removing their coats and hats and piling them all up next to them. The service began. It felt like the countless services Beca had attended back in Georgia, but also altogether different. There was a palpable feeling of joy permeating the entire place. Familiar carols rang from the rafters. A soloist performed a special rendition of Faith Hill's A Baby Changes Everything. Then the pastor stepped forward.

He shared the typical story of the birth of Jesus, reading the familiar passage in Luke. He covered some of the common details. Then he began to espouse on some thoughts he had. "We have gotten so used to hearing this story. If you've been in church on Christmas, or seen the Charlie Brown Christmas show, you have heard all the details before. It is easy to get so caught up the repetitive elements that we miss the bigger picture. We don't forget that there were real people feeling real things. At that time, the people were oppressed. They were miserable. They were ruled by people who didn't share their values. They were dominated by religious leaders and their insane collection of rules. They struggled financially. They were desperate and hurting and suffering and lost. Does that seem familiar to anyone here?" The congregation murmured their agreement. "That was the scene when a tiny baby arrived on the scene. A little insignificant child born in a non-distinct barn at a nameless inn in a meaningless town came into a world dominated by one of the most powerful empires of all time. And he brought something that the people had just about forgotten existed. He brought them hope. Hope is one of the most powerful and dangerous things that exists in the world. In the great theological work Hunger Games…" - the crowd laughed at the comment - "President Snow talked about how dangerous Katniss was because she brought the spark of hope. And that was the same thing that Jesus brought in his day. And the same thing he brings today. Hope. Hope that things can change. Hope that sadness and evil can be overcome. Hope that the pain of today doesn't have to last until tomorrow. Hope that love is real and present and available. And that is my Christmas wish for all of you. That you can experience the miracle of hope."

Tears streamed down Beca's face as she listened to the message. It was exactly what she needed to hear and exactly what she was experiencing. For years, she had lived in a wasteland of pain, loss, and despair. And now this incredible creature next to her, this beautiful bubbly redhead, had brought her the greatest gifts of all. Love and hope. She turned to Chloe, surprised to find similar tears in her sparkling blue eyes. For Chloe was feeling the same things as Beca. For years she had felt like she wasn't good enough, actually that she was too much. That she was going to overwhelm anyone she dared to be close to. She believed that she didn't fit into the cynical and dark world. Her light shone too bright. But now she had found someone who she could pour into who actually appreciated it, needed it, loved her for it. Never would either of them expected to find their soulmate this Christmas. They both had received the best gift they could imagine.

Saturday, December 25

Beca felt a nudge against her ribs. She pushed the offending object away, but it returned again with a higher intensity. The brunette swatted at the intruder to no avail. Her eyes flickered open, trying to see what was so rudely interrupting her sleep. She was met by a set of sparkling blue eyes dancing with merriment. Red hair spilled onto the pillow and a big grin covered the beautiful face. "Merry Christmas, Beca," Chloe whispered with glee.

"Ugh, you're one of THOSE people, aren't you?" Beca groaned.

"Yup!" The redhead shook with giggles. "I let you sleep in until seven. That's a big deal."

"Do you do this every year?"

"Oh yes. Usually I'm up by six, though," the cheery redhead chirped.

"And when did you wake up this year?" Beca inquired.

Sheepishly, Chloe answered, "Five thirty…"

"Well, I guess we should get up, then," Beca responded. She yawned and stretched, then jerked to attention. "Wait!" Chloe stopped sliding out of bed to look at the brunette questioningly. "Can I watch you wake up Aubrey?" Beca wore an evil grin as she asked, which Chloe soon matched.

"Come on," Chloe whispered conspiratorially. "Let's go jump on their bed!"

The two women snuck into Aubrey and Stacie's room. They stood quietly on opposite sides of the foot of the bed - Chloe lined up with Aubrey while Beca was on Stacie's side. The redhead counted down silently from three. Then both women yelled and cannonballed onto the sleeping women. Stacie jerked up screaming and Aubrey began wildly swinging her arms at the intruder. When they realized what was happening, the blonde yelled, "Chloe! What the hell!"

Stacie groaned loudly, "Awww shit, there's two of them."

Soon all five women were congregated in the living room, nursing mugs of coffee and trying to wake up. Except Chloe, who was vibrating in her seat, waiting for present time. They exchanged gifts. None of them were extravagant, but they all were thoughtful. Beca had purchased something for each woman and several things for Chloe - scarves, necklaces, tickets to events. She laughed when she opened Chloe's gift of a new red knit cap - almost identical to the one Beca had gifted the redhead. They were all resting in the afterglow of the exchange when Beca spoke up. "I actually had one other thing for Chloe. I wasn't sure if I could make it through in front of everyone, so I put it on here." She lifted up a small USB drive. "Do you have somewhere I can play this?"

Aubrey nodded and jumped up, plugged the USB into her computer. She pulled up the menu and readied the cursor to hit play when Beca told her to. Chloe sat wide-eyed a she realized what was happening. She softly asked in wonder, "Didyou … did you write a song?!"

"Yes," Beca quietly responded. "I did. I wrote you a song."

"Oh my gosh," Chloe gasped, her hands covering her mouth. Beca nodded to Aubrey, who started the file. Beca's voice streamed, full of emotion and love, from the computer speakers.

The day that I met you
The world had just spit me out
On my way to the bottom
Sure I'd never be found
Then you saw me for me
Made me believe in myself
On the day that I met you
It all turned around

You said close your eyes
Don't look down

Fall into me and I'll catch you, darlin
We'll dance in the street like nobody's watching
It's just you and me and the song on repeat in my head
Playing over and over
I'm drunk on your voice high on the moment
I'd fall for you twice if that's what you wanted
I'd give you my life from now till forever
I'm falling in love with you
Over and over again

Until I had met you
There was no sun in my sky
No mirrors for monsters
And no love in sight
Then you walked down those stairs
And I knew my heart wasn't mine
On the day that I met you
My whole world came alive

You said close your eyes
I got you now

Fall into me and I'll catch you, darlin
We'll dance in the street like nobody's watching
It's just you and me and the song on repeat in my head
Playing over and over
I'm drunk on your voice high on the moment
I'd fall for you twice if that's what you wanted
I'd give you my life from now till forever
I'm falling in love with you
Over and over again

I'm falling in love with you
I'm falling in love with you
I'm falling in love with you over and over
I'm falling in love with you over and over

Fall into me and I'll catch you, darlin
Let's dance in the streets like nobody's watching
It's just you and me and the song on repeat in my head
Playing over and over
I'm drunk on your voice high on the moment
I'd fall for you twice if that's what you wanted
I'd give you my life from now till forever
I'm falling in love with you
Over and over again

Fall into me and I'll catch you, darlin
Let's dance in the streets like nobody's watching
It's just you and me and the song on repeat in our heads

The apartment fell silent, except for sniffles from each woman. Amy finally broke the quiet by bawling, "Holy shit, if you don't kiss her, you soulless ginger, I'm going to!" The ladies laughed in response. Chloe jumped onto Beca's lap and smothered her with kisses all over her face. Then she pulled the brunette into an intense kiss that quickly grew. "Oi, okay let's not get carried away," Amy groaned. Laughter again rang out.

Chloe leaned her forehead against Beca's. "I love you, Beca."

Beca softly grinned back, "I love you, Chlo."

"Do I get to go with you when you win a Grammy for that?" Chloe asked with a wry smile.

"Totes," Beca replied. "I wouldn't want to go with anyone else."

Song used in this chapter: "Fall Into Me" by Forest Blakk

One Year Later

Beca sat on a park bench, bundled up against the biting wind. She watched cars zipping through the intersection. A bottle of Mountain Dew and a bag of popcorn laid on the seat next to her, along with two red roses. She sighed and sat peacefully.

"Hey," a voice called over her shoulder.

Beca turned and lit up at the approaching figure. "Hey babe. Thanks for coming."

"Of course, Beca. Always," Chloe replied. She leaned down and kissed her girlfriend and then dropped onto the bench. "This is a pretty park," she commented.

"Mmm hmmm," Beca hummed. She picked up one of the roses and handed it to the woman next to her. "This is for you."

"Oh, thank you!" Chloe gushed. She sniffed at it and held it tightly to her chest. The women sat quietly. Chloe leaned against Beca with her head resting on the smaller woman's shoulder. They rested in comfortable silence.

Beca finally spoke up. "Hey Jesse. It's been three years. I can't believe it. I still miss you. I think I always will." She swallowed deeply. Chloe grabbed her hand and squeezed. "I want you to meet someone. This is Chloe." They looked at each other and exchanged soft smiles. "She is … the most amazing person. She rescued me." A tear dropped down from Beca's face. "I know you never wanted to leave me, but … you don't have to worry. I'm in good hands." They sat quietly as the sun began to set. Chloe wanted to follow Beca's lead; the brunette was content to sit with her girlfriend and soak in the moment. Eventually, she indicated she was ready to go. They stood up. Beca went to toss the soda and popcorn, but Chloe stopped her.

"Seriously? You're throwing this away?" Her face reflected surprise. "This is great stuff." She grabbed the soda and cracked it open, taking a swig.

Beca laughed a hearty guffaw. "That's awesome," she announced. "Jesse!" she called out. "Maybe you would like her after all." She kissed the second rose and laid it on the ground. Then she grabbed Chloe's hand. "C'mon sweetie. We have a party to get to."