In this chapter; Shinichi gets a good idea, Heiji faces the troubles of childhood, Hakuba is annoyed by Kaito, Kaito has fun in Hakuba's body
Disclaimer: If I owned it then the story wouldn't be near as good.
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Looking in the mirror again I couldn't help but notice just how much Kuroba really did look similar to me, if I just fixed his hair a little bit and put in some colored contacts (he's bound to have some around here, with all the disguises he's used) I could easily pass for 'Kudo Shinichi', even Ran probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
Of course Kaito probably wouldn't like it if I did that... but what does it matter anyway, we can just say that he went to travel around the world with his mother for a little bit or something like that.
I figured it would be best to run the idea by Kaito first (mostly because I have no idea where he keeps his colored contacts) so I asked him about it at lunch the next day.
"Can you at least keep being me a little bit longer?" He asked, he obviously had some ulterior motive, but I wasn't sure exactly what it was.
"Why should I?" I asked, "The longer I stay here the more likely someone is to realize you're acting weird, it's only a matter of time before someone suspects I'm not really you and just a look alike instead. Wouldn't it be better if I'm not here?"
He sighed, "I'm going to pull a heist. I wanted you to be there so that there could be undeniable proof that 'Kuroba Kaito' is not Kaitou Kid."
So he admits it?
"But you are Kaitou Kid, why should I help you with your alibi?" I asked, "perhaps you've forgotten, but I'm one of the people that was trying to get you caught. You know maybe I should go up to Nakamori-keibu and turn myself in, you'll be in jail for life as soon as this fiasco is over."
"Don't do that!" He said, his usual 'poker face' slipped for just a moment revealing a desperate 'I'll do anything, just don't do that' kind of expression, "I have my reason's for becoming a thief. Um... have you ever heard of Kuroba Touchi? He was my father, and also the original Kaitou Kid, you see eight years ago..."
He told the entire story. His dad was killed... evil organization... revenge... mystical gem Pandora... moonlight... blah blah blah. It was almost as crazy as my whole - shrank by an evil organization that dresses only in black and controls crime from the underworld - story. Actually thinking about it now they could be the same organization, if that's the case I have to help him.
"Fine, but I'll only stick around for long enough to appear as you at the heist..." I sighed.
He smiled, but I couldn't tell if it was real or not. After a moment of silence he suddenly asked, "So what color was it today?"
"White," I replied, "Probably in response to what I said about it suiting her yesterday. You know... she really likes you... a lot."
"Yeah I know that."
Silence.
"...White really does suit her best doesn't it?"
...
The mad scientist had made an expression like she wanted to dissect me when I told her the truth about what happened, fortunately she didn't.
It was now the third day after becoming Conan, and I was happily sleeping in class. Suddenly I had a nightmare and woke up shouting "I Don't Want None Of Yer Soba Noodles, Kudo!"
Yeah... Don't. Even. Ask.
It was because I'd shouted like that during class that the shonen tantei dan (that group of kids that Kudo's always hanging out with even though their a pain) realized that I didn't really lose my voice and they also realized that I was speaking strangely -for 'Conan' that is. Thankfully they didn't confront me about it until after class, but man being around Kudo all the time really trained those kids they're starting to actually be pretty good detectives for their age.
"What's wrong Conan-kun? Why were you pretending you couldn't talk?" The little girl called 'Ayumi-chan' asked.
The largest (and thereby most intimidating) one 'Genta' backed her up with his stupidity, "Yeah, what's the big idea, Conan?"
"No reason... really," I replied, making sure to use words that were the same in Osaka-ben and Tokyo-ben.
"Oh? But there must be some reason. Otherwise you wouldn't be doing it, Conan-kun," The creepy mad scientist girl said, clearly enjoying my suffering.
I wanted to shout some choice words at her (particularly ones children should not be hearing) but I settled for mentally yelling at her: You. Are. Not. Helpful.
"Um... that's... it's 'cause of a bet. Ya see... a friend of mine bet me a buncha money I couldn't speak Osaka-ben fer an entire week. An' since I dunno much Osaka-ben I've jus' been pretendin' I couldn' talk," I explained, desperately hoping they would fall for such a stupid lie.
"What friend?" The smart-looking 'Mitsuhiko' asked. Clearly he isn't quite as smart as he appears to be.
"Hatt..." I started then I remembered that Kudo doesn't call me 'Hattori' when he's acting like a little kid so I corrected myself, "It was Heiji-niichan."
"Heiji-oniisan must be really stupid then," The little girl Ayumi-chan said, she was blushing, "Because Conan can do anything."
Sure he can do anythin'... I couldn't help but roll my eyes. He can't speak Osaka-ben, he can't sing ta save his life (it'll happen some day, just ya wait, Kudo 'll be forced ta sing and he'll die 'cause he can't), an' de stuff he cooks is barely edible. Other dan dat he can do jus' about anythin'.
Mitsuhiko was the first to be suspicious, "Wait... Conan-kun isn't stupid enough to take a bet like that."
Well excuse me fer being stupid! I replied, "But I did, I did make da bet, why else would I be talkin' like dis?"
"Maybe he's some person that just looks like Conan-kun and is trying to take his place, that's what I've deduced," Mitsuhiko said in a very proud tone, "You may have fooled other people, but you can't fool the Shonen Tantei!"
...
It was already my third day being Hattori, I was actually getting used to it -still completely creeped out by the whole ordeal- but getting used to it.
I looked at the newspaper and saw the absolute last thing I'd been expecting to see until after we'd gotten this situation sorted out. Kaitou Kid had sent out a heist notice.
What on Earth was Kuroba planning to do with my body? That dirty thief! I'm not letting him get away this time... Even if Hattori gets the credit for this, I will catch Kuroba!
Wait... maybe he's blackmailed Kudo-kun into doing the heist by saying he'd reveal 'Conan's' identity if he didn't... that would make things difficult. Kudo-kun is very intelligent -almost too intelligent- He could probably do Kaitou Kid's usual work while he's in Kuroba's body, he'd probably do a better job of it too...
No, no. Kuroba wouldn't have Kudo-kun do the heist, Kudo-kun has no experience as a thief (at least I hope he doesn't), Kuroba would make him stand in the crowd so he could get a further alibi that 'Kuroba Kaito' isn't Kaitou Kid. In other words Kuroba himself will be doing the heist... in my body...
Dear God! If he get's caught then I'll be in jail for crimes I didn't (really) commit! That's identity theft! Kind of...
Regretfully I decided that it was better if Kaitou Kid didn't get caught... just this once.
I'd much rather not be stuck in jail for life after I return to my original body.
...
Hakuba was slightly taller than me and his features were not quite as thin so the Kaitou Kid costume didn't fit him quite as comfortably as it had fit me, but it would work well enough that no one would realize that tonight's Kaitou Kid wasn't quite the same as the usual one.
Really, I was just happy that Shinichi had agreed to hang out with Aoko as me during the heist. Although, naturally without any pursuers the heist went off without a hitch, such success was so dull there would be no merit in describing it to you wonderful readers, it's not as if what I took -excuse me, 'what Hakuba took'- was Pandora anyway.
Really, so lets just ignore the details of the heist for now. The next day at school was really much more eventful.
It was sudden, for reasons that I didn't understand at first Aoko had made Shinichi (of course still stuck as me, he intended to announce that he would be traveling with mom in class today before he went off to be himself) a bento. I briefly wondered if he'd done something suspicious and was trying to confirm whether or not he was really me or if he'd gone a bit to far in his acting and flirted a bit to much at the last heist, but I put that thought aside and diligently acted as Hakuba.
A few moments after she'd given him the bento box and he was acting as me while he happily ate it's contents I looked over and out of the corner of my eyes I could see a surprised but determined expression on Aoko's face. Upon closer inspection of exactly what he was about to eat I understood why she seemed surprised.
I walked over to the desk they were sitting at with an unnaturally rushed pace.
"Kuroba," I said in a somewhat intimidating tone, making sure to use Hakuba's usual British accent, "...A word with you in private."
"Um... sure," He seemed confused but went along with me, clearly wondering what it was he'd done wrong.
Once we'd safely left the classroom I managed to calm down, slipping back into my usual poker face.
"Aoko's going to know you aren't me now..." I sighed.
He seemed surprised, "Eh? What did I do?"
"That bento... there was f-f-fish in it wasn't there?" I asked, hoping I'd just seen wrong.
"Fish? Yes. There was, but that hardly constitutes my identity being revealed..."
I couldn't stop myself from shouting a little bit, "Ugh! It had to be f-f-fish! What did you do last night to make her hate me? ! Fi-fish are..."
"You're ichthyophobic?" He asked, I could only nod defeated, he continued with a laugh that sounded all too natural coming out of my own mouth, "The great phantom thief Kaitou Kid, who can best the police and do mind-boggling stunts with ease, is afraid of fish?"
"Yes. I have my reason," I replied, only to be given a look that seemed to ask 'and pray tell, what are those reasons?' but when I said nothing he seemed to give up on the matter.
"That's too bad... I already ate some of the sushi that was in the bento..."
Just the thought that there were little chewed up bits of sushi- of fish -inside my body disgusted me to the point that I almost fainted, however I managed to stay conscious and we returned to the classroom.
Once in the classrom Shinichi continued to eat the contents of the bento (he would look at me with an exagerated smile whenever he was about to eat anything with fish in it) because it was too late now, his cover had already been blown, we'd have to explain everything to Aoko later.