Back At the Job:
Kakashi breathed out in pleasure as the warm water soaked his sore muscles, massaging the knots of stress that had accumulated over time. He couldn't deny it; after a few days of bathing in the dingy hospital bathroom, a nice, toasty shower at home felt amazing.
After spending the whole previous day at Gai's apartment, either catching up on sleep, reading his rather graphic novels together, or playing intense games of rock, paper, scissors, the copy nin had finally returned to his own home, and was currently getting ready to attend training for the first time in three days.
He massaged a dollop of scentless shampoo through his silver hair, working it into a frothy lather. As he washed his unruly mane, he wondered what his students had been doing for the past week. Had they been training on their own, or did they just stop coming, period? Would they be angry with him when he finally showed up?
With a sigh, he squirted an ample amount of soap onto a wet sponge and started rubbing it across the pale flesh of his shoulder, still deep in thought.
What would he tell them if they asked why he had ceased to appear? Would they start to piece things together?
He told Naruto that he had a "stomach bug", so whatever he said had to be something along the lines of that...Maybe uncontrollable diarrhea, that had caused him to be admitted to the hospital? Nope, that didn't sound too believable, not to mention that it was unnecessarily gross.
What about...food poisoning?
If he told them that in a certain way, then it might just pass.
Kakashi's eyes closed in contentment as the frothy soap rinsed off of his skin and dribbled into the drain. After deeming himself clean enough, he turned off the faucet and wrapped himself in an oversized, gray towel, exiting the shower, and padding into his connected bedroom.
Hm…what should I wear? Kakashi thought, standing before his opened closet, and stroking his exposed chin.
Oh, who am I kidding, I wear the same thing every day.
Kakashi pulled out his standard shinobi uniform and quickly got dressed, hastily pulling on his shoes after he was done, and taking his prescribed headache medicine.
"Shunshin no jutsu!" he said, making the familiar hand signs.
One of the perks of taking the new medication was that he could finally use the body flickering technique without losing his breakfast—However, he still did feel his ever present headache worsen noticeably.
POOF*
Kakashi reappeared at his training grounds, immediately feeling the dull ache spike in intensity. Ignoring the familiar pain, he couldn't help but smile as he noticed that his students were still training, even though he hadn't been there.
Sakura and Naruto were sparring with each other using only Taijutsu, the latter having the upper hand due to his abundant amount of shadow clones. Sasuke was casually practicing with his shuriken, and as expected of a prodigy, he got them right on target every single time.
Three heads snapped up from their training at the noise that they had been missing for the past week. Naruto and Sakura stopped mid fight and ran towards him, not sure if they were angry or overjoyed. Sasuke tucked the ninja stars back into his pouch and sauntered over; although his gait was relaxed, and not in a hurry, the surprise was evident on his pale visage.
"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Sakura cried, immediately tackling him into an embrace. He retracted his hands, eyes widening.
"Hn. Someone finally decided to show up."
"Hey! How come you're giving sensei a hug! He hasn't even been showing up to training!" Naruto screeched in exasperation, a bit jealous, because Sakura wouldn't even think to jump on him like that. She quickly pulled away, smoothing the wrinkles in her red dress.
"Naruto's actually right this time! Where have you been, Kakashi-Sensei?!"
"Um…well, you see…I wasn't able to come. Actually, I was stuck in the hospital this whole time," Kakashi revealed, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.
"Hospital?! How come?" Sakura inquired worriedly, her hands clasped in front of her chest.
"Ah, nothing too serious…Just a bit of food poisoning," the silver-haired ninja lied swiftly, waving off her concern. He stared at them awkwardly as he waited for a response, noticing that they were all inspecting him up and down, with similar suspicious looks, though some were more concerned than others.
He sweatdropped under the heat of their scrutiny, chuckling nervously, and closing his eyes into crescents.
"I guess that makes sense, Kakashi-sensei. You do look like you lost some weight," Naruto spoke finally, eyeing his thinner frame, and his slightly looser clothing.
Wow, they believe me…This was way easier than I expected-
"How did you get it?" Sasuke questioned tersely, his dark eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"Hm?"
"What did you eat to get food poisoning?" The Uchiha elaborated, crossing his arms and waiting for a response, "You stopped showing up after that day that we ate barbecue together. I remember it clearly: Sakura was the one who prepared the meat for you, and it wasn't undercooked either."
But then there's Sasuke…
"You're right. Sakura didn't undercook the meat strips, so it's impossible that they could've made me sick," Kakashi drawled calmly, "But later that night, I went out to eat steak with the other sensei. Unfortunately, mine was a tad bit underdone."
"Hn," Sasuke grunted after a few moments of staring at his teacher, finally accepting the excuse.
"Just shut up already, Sasuke! You're taking up time that could've been spent training with Sensei!" Naruto shouted accusingly, glaring at his raven haired teammate.
"Tch. It's not like training with Kakashi can make the likes of you any stronger, loser," Sasuke retorted smugly, his lips pulled into a condescending smirk.
Kakashi easily grabbed Naruto before he could lunge at the Uchiha, a gloved hand clamped over the orange clad ninja's mouth to muffle his provoking insults.
"Now, now, we still have plenty of time to train, so there's really no need to fight…" Kakashi chastised lightly, letting the wriggling, angry form escape out of his hold.
"What are we doing today anyway?" Sakura asked, looking up at Kakashi expectantly.
"Since I wasn't able to get you guys a mission for today, we'll just spend our time reinforcing the basics, maybe chakra control," he answered, his bored gaze settling somewhere above their heads.
"What? The basics?! You still don't have any missions for us, even after a whole week?" Naruto questioned in disbelief.
"Sorry…" Kakashi started softly. Naruto just shook his head, eyes narrowed in frustration.
"It's not fair! You never take us on REAL missions anymore, Kakashi sensei!" Naruto shouted loudly, throwing his hands into the air in exasperation, his voice taking on a childish whine.
"Naruto…" the jonin drawled tiredly, letting a small sigh escape from his masked lips.
Would I even be able to hold out for a whole mission? The copy ninja pondered, his face darkening upon thinking of his current predicament.
"Please, please, PLEASE get us a mission, Kakashi sensei! There's no point in being shinobi if we can't do actual missions!" Naruto pleaded, sporting a puppy dog look to lure Kakashi in.
The man just sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
It's not fair to them…What kind of sensei doesn't take their students on missions?!
"Fine…I'll go and check with the hokage later if there are any available, alright?" he uttered in defeat, massaging his aching temples.
"YEAH! I didn't even have to use my sexy jutsu!" Naruto shouted triumphantly, only to earn himself a stern bonk on the head from Sakura.
"Hey! That hurts, you know!" The blond screeched, rubbing the freshly formed bump on his head.
"That's what you get for being such a perv! You can't blackmail sensei with your dirty tricks!" the kunoichi rebuked angrily, her hands resting on her hips. Naruto crossed his arms, turning away to pout.
"He's always reading porn in public, so I thought it would work…" the Uzumaki muttered under his breath.
"Huh?! Did you say something, idiot?!" Sakura cried, immediately assuming that Naruto had uttered an insult, probably one about her huge forehead, or her freakishly pink hair.
"Yeah, I said-"
"Let's start training now, shall we?" Kakashi cut in with an uneasy chuckle, the visible portion of his masked face tinged a slight red.
He's just saying that because he doesn't want anyone to find out that he's a second-class pervert, Naruto thought with an annoyed huff.
"Tch. Hurry up, you guys, you're wasting time that could've been spent training…" Sasuke grumbled, crossing his arms.
"Hey, I was not wasting time, you bastard! I was asking for a mission that we could go on as a team!" Naruto exclaimed heatedly, glaring at the Uchiha.
"Mission? I don't consider the D rank crap that Kakashi brings us all the time as actual missions," Sasuke stated snidely, not bothering to return the dirty look.
Naruto quickly turned to face Kakashi, eyes widening in disbelief.
"Is it true, sensei?! Are you getting us a D RANK?!" Naruto exclaimed loudly.
"Y-you know, that isn't really for me to decide…Lady Tsunade is the one who appoints the missions," Kakashi started nervously, his hands held out protectively in front of him.
"Please, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura added, stepping forward from her position by Sasuke to stand next to Naruto, "Even civilians can pull weeds or rescue a cat…We want something that actually tests our skills as ninja!"
Kakashi sighed. Again. His students were definitely giving him a hard time on his first day back at the job.
"Hm…Fine, because you guys aren't really giving me a choice anyway. But understand that all I can do is ask," Kakashi told them with a small smile after a long pause, ruffling Sakura's pink locks with a gloved palm.
She immediately jumped back, hands hovering over her precious pink hair.
"Hey, I blow dried it today, you know!" the kunoichi cried in irritation, using her fingers to frantically comb through her thick, and now tangled, mane.
"I LOVE YOU, KAKASHI-SENSEI! THANK YOU!" Naruto exclaimed in excitement, tackling his sensei into an incredibly tight hug. Kakashi's silver eyebrows rose in surprise, his hands unsure what to do in return.
"The idiot gets so excited about everything…" Sasuke muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes.
Kakashi gently peeled the young genin off of his lanky form, setting his jumpy feet onto the dirt of the training grounds. Although Naruto would rather go on something along the lines of an S rank, he had been so deprived of ANY kind of mission that he would gladly accept a C rank. At least it wasn't a D rank.
"We really need to get started now. I have to catch you guys up," Kakashi prompted sternly, the look on his face meaning business, "Ready?"
"Ready, Kakashi-sensei!"
"OF COURSE I AM!"
"...Whatever. Just hurry up."
And with that, Kakashi returned to training with his three pupils, pretending like everything was completely normal, although he had noticed that he was actually tired afterward.
"May I enter, Lady Tsunade?"
"Come in," she replied after a pause.
Kakashi clicked open the door to the hokage's office and strolled over to her desk, stopping in front of it to give her a respectful bow.
"Oh, it's just you, Kakashi," Tsunade said, looking up from her abundant pile of paperwork, and recognizing the characteristic shock of silver hair, "What's the matter?"
Kakashi straightened up from his bowed position, looking into the hokage's eyes. He noticed that she was observing him with a certain apprehension in her steely gaze; before his diagnosis, she'd never looked at him like that.
"Everything's fine. I just came here to ask…Are there any missions that Team 7 could take on?" the jonin questioned intently, a hint of hesitation in his baritone voice.
Tsunade sighed, her eyebrows furrowing.
"Kakashi…someone in your condition shouldn't even be thinking about doing missions… you know that, right?" The Godaime told him tiredly, wanting to preserve his good health for as long as she could. She didn't want him to have any serious health scares before the surgery.
"Please, Lady Tsunade…If I don't get them a mission soon, then I'll never hear the end of it, especially from Naruto…" Kakashi stressed, his mask shifting as he moved his lips to speak. She sighed again, her henge looking as if it had just aged ten more years.
"…Fine, then. But only the easier ones, alright?" she told him reluctantly, looking back down at her papers.
"Wait…if it isn't too much to ask…can you give us a C rank mission instead of a D rank?" he continued cautiously, nervously shifting his weight.
Kakashi fought the urge to reflexively jump back when she slammed a palm onto her desk, papers flying off of the wooden surface. He was rather puzzled by her reaction; a ninja of his caliber could obviously take on a simple C rank mission.
"That is absolutely out of the question, Kakashi! I thought you were smart enough to actually think before talking so irrationally!" she exclaimed forcibly. The copy ninja stood his ground, although his eyes had widened slightly at her sudden show of violence.
"We both know very well that my students are capable enough for this. After all, they have survived a B rank, possibly an A rank, mission before," he calmly started in defense, thinking back to the fight against Haku and Zabuza.
"...And if I'm being honest…." he continued straightforwardly, stuffing his hands into his pockets, and meeting her angry gaze, "I don't see what the big deal is."
Tsunade just shook her head, sitting back down with a huff and rearranging the scattered documents.
"You just don't get it, do you? It's about you, not your genin. If something happens because of your tumor, then you, or your students, will not be able to do anything! What if you have a headache? A seizure? I seriously doubt there'll be any doctors to help you out," Tsunade firmly tried explaining to him, hoping that he would understand, "You really shouldn't even be on active duty right now. It's too risky…"
"Look, I haven't had any seizures since the one at the hospital…and the headaches? They're just everyday occurrences that I can deal with easily…" he retorted with mock confidence, hiding his renewed uneasiness.
"You could have a seizure at any time, Kakashi. Trust me, you will not be ready. Besides, you need to remember that you haven't been on a mission in weeks. Your headaches will worsen when—I mean if—you do go on one," Tsunade stated emphatically, "Without proper medical care during an emergency, there's a very real possibility that you could lose your life."
His fingernails dug into his palms from how tightly he was clenching his fists inside his pockets, his head lowering in a way that obscured his eyes from view.
Did I go too far? Tsunade thought, her expression softening.
"Hey…" the hokage started gently upon seeing his closed off, silent demeanor, her voice quieter than before, and laced with guilt, "I know it might sound a little harsh, but I'm just telling you the truth-"
"So what if it is the truth?" he began in a dangerously low tone, cutting her off before she could finish her sentence, "What do you expect me to do? Completely upturn my life, and abandon my duties as a shinobi?...O-Or stay in a hospital room, so that you guys can keep an eye on my brain?"
His head snapped up abruptly, his shaggy, silver hair flopping back to reveal an agitated, angry expression on the visible portion of his face. The hokage's hazel orbs enlarged in surprise at his uncharacteristically coarse tone, but she let him continue, feeling that his reaction was warranted.
"I only have a year left, right? Then I'm not going to waste it…If I do die during a mission, then so be it. It's better than just fading away, without any honor…" he finished with wide eyes, and furrowed brows, feeling as if he were short of breath.
One more year…
The copy ninja ran a trembling hand through his messy hair, inhaling sharply, and suddenly averting his gaze.
"Kakashi…" Tsunade started worriedly upon noticing his crumbling composure, starting to get up from her seat.
He rubbed his eyes vigorously. "I'm fine," the jonin reassured her dully, his hands quickly falling back to his sides.
She nodded in understanding, able to discern that he didn't want to touch upon the topic.
"I…I'll give you a mission…" Tsunade uttered finally, sitting back down and starting to sift through the countless documents on her desk. He waited quietly, frustrated that it was getting harder to control his emotions.
First, he'd cried in front of Gai, and now, he had basically just snapped at the hokage. Frankly, he was appalled by his behavior, suddenly feeling intensely ashamed.
"I found you a C rank," she said after a few awkward moments of tense silence, "An escort mission to the Land of Waves."
Well, that certainly sounds familiar.
"…Who are we escorting?" he inquired curiously.
"He's a carpenter called Tazuna," the hokage clarified, "He helped us rebuild after the Chunin exams, so as a token of our gratitude, we're giving him a free escort team to help him get back home safely."
"Okay…Well, if that's all, then I suppose I should take my leave," Kakashi said quietly, his gaze fixed on the carpeted floor. He slowly turned around, trudging away from her desk.
"Wait," Tsunade called out before he could leave, "Since you're here anyway, would you like to know the date of your surgery?"
"...When is it?" Kakashi looked back at her hesitantly, not particularly wanting to hear the information. He secretly wished that he could go on as long as possible without any more talk of his cancer, or his impending brain surgery.
"About a week and a half from now, so essentially in ten days," she explained to him professionally,"We'll send you a letter explaining all of the protocol by tomorrow."
"Lady Tsunade...what if I don't want to do the surgery? What happens then?" Kakashi asked uneasily, gulping deeply, and internally trying to vanquish away all of his anxieties. Admittedly, he wasn't prepared to have a craniotomy in 10 days—that was just way too soon.
"Well, the surgery is to take out your tumor, and reduce your intracranial pressure...so if you don't go through with it, then your symptoms will worsen quickly... and you could die within two or three months…" Tsunade said solemnly, talking in a mere whisper by the end of her sentence.
Kakashi blinked, clearing his throat loudly as he tried to dispel the growing lump in his gullet.
"So I don't have a choice, then..." The copy ninja brought out with difficulty, his voice cracking.
"Kakashi..." Tsunade whispered, her forehead scrunched up in concern at the fear in his voice.
He turned away from her entirely and faced the door with a deep exhale, his heart beginning to beat faster in his chest.
"Kakashi!" Tsunade called out once his fingers were around the door handle, standing up abruptly and placing her palms on her desk.
She wanted him to stay, so that she could ask him about his thoughts on the operation, and perhaps more importantly, how he was handling the immense stress that had suddenly been put on his plate. Tsunade was worried that he didn't have an outlet, or anyone to talk to, and would soon crack under the pressure of his diagnosis.
"Goodbye, Lady Tsunade."
The hokage watched, dumbfounded, as the Hatake ignored her and walked out, not bothering to glance back even once. She slowly sat back down in her seat and put her head in her hands, heaving a sigh.
She'd informed many people of bad news before, so why did her heart ache so much whenever she told Kakashi?
The Next Morning:
Kakashi stood under the shade of a large tree planted on the training grounds, protected from the harsh light of the rising sun.
He was slumped against the gnarly bark of the trunk, his arms crossed leisurely. His half lidded, glossed over gaze was focused on the empty field, scanning the grounds for his absent students.
The copy ninja hadn't been able to get even a wink of sleep the previous night, as he'd been wide awake, thinking about how his life would turn out after the impending craniotomy. It felt like everything was about to change dramatically.
He heaved a sigh and tilted his head back, allowing his watery, burning eyes to close. Before Kakashi could completely fall asleep though, a very familiar Uchiha sauntered across the field, heading under the cool shade to take a spot next to his sensei.
"Yo," Kakashi said simply upon noticing his presence, not even bothering to make eye contact.
Sasuke looked over at his sensei's slouched, visibly fatigued form, a skeptical expression plastered onto his face.
"Why are you here so early?" he asked curiously.
The jonin tilted his head down slightly to look at Sasuke, granting him a partial view of his masked face.
"...I got you guys a mission for today. So I came here early to inform you," Kakashi spoke slowly in response, too exhausted to make up the usual unbelievable excuses.
In truth, since he hadn't been able to sleep, he'd ventured out to the memorial stone in the middle of the night, standing there for several hours, before deciding to walk over to the training grounds. There was no particular reason for him arriving early, besides the fact that he was already in the area.
Gazing up at his teacher's face, Sasuke frowned. The visible portion of his visage was as pale as a sheet, almost the same color as his hair. His uncovered, bloodshot eye was ringed with dark circles, that had certainly not been there before.
"Did you spend the whole night looking for that one mission?" Sasuke asked sarcastically.
"Huh?" Kakashi replied, feigning innocence. Sasuke's scowl only deepened.
"You look terrible, Kakashi," The Uchiha told him honestly, narrowing his eyes in question.
"Why, thank you for telling me that I'm ugly, Sasuke," Kakashi drawled indifferently, his worn out gaze drifting to the three familiar logs he'd used during the bell test.
"That's not what I meant," Sasuke said quickly, crossing his arms, "Don't put words in my mouth."
"So…what you're saying is…I'm handsome?" Kakashi asked his student in mock confusion, raising a silver eyebrow to sell the act. In reality, he was trying to get Sasuke to stop asking questions by making him feel uncomfortable.
"NO!" Sasuke stressed, his cheeks tinged red in embarrassment. Kakashi chuckled lowly, enjoying how flustered the usually impassive Uchiha was.
"Geez...I was just trying to ask why you looked so…tired," Sasuke muttered under his breath with an annoyed frown, averting his dark gaze, and deciding to drop the topic.
"Wow, Sasuke. Thanks for worrying about me, I really appreciate it," Kakashi said sarcastically, closing his bloodshot eyes as he gave his student a fake smile.
"H-hey! I never said tha-"
"I'M HERE, BELIEVE IT!" shouted a familiar voice.
Both sensei and student turned their heads toward the source of the rather obnoxious sound, met with the sight of Naruto running toward them, with Sakura following closely behind him.
"Good morning, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto greeted cheerfully, full of bubbling energy, just as usual.
Both him and Sakura had come to a stop in front of their Sensei, eagerly looking up at him.
"Good morning, Sasuke!" Sakura exclaimed, focusing solely on the Uchiha, "Wait...why are you here early, Kakashi-sensei?!"
"Yeah, yeah, you aren't late today!" Naruto added without hesitation.
"Why is everyone saying that…" Kakashi mumbled with a sigh, placing a cool palm on his clammy forehead.
"You guys have a mission today. Pack enough for two days and meet me at the gates," he informed them seriously, not bothering to give a proper explanation for his early arrival.
"A MISSION?!" Naruto questioned, not sure if his sensei was playing a practical joke.
"Yup. I'll explain everything at the gates," he said blandly, his visible eye only half open.
"Wow, a mission! What kind of mission, sensei?! What RANK?! What are we going to do?" The Uzumaki continued excitedly, bombarding him with questions.
Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, exhaling deeply. "I already told you...I'll explain everything when we meet..." he said tiredly, unable to keep up with the hyperactive blonde's energy.
"Well...see you guys soon. Be sure to pack enough," he reminded them lazily, before making the familiar hand signs and vanishing in a puff of smoke.