Okay, I apologize, I know that chapter nine was crappy. In any case I will be updating much less often than I was before, because I'm an amazingly busy person, but I intend to update every now and then now that I've got something of a vague plot going... actually it's starting to seem like a soap opera, I wonder how that happened- I don't even like soap operas- but all this weird 'actually, I'm not so-and-so's going around it's getting weirdly dramatic...

In this chapter: Hakuba continues his mental breakdown , Heiji faces an obstacle we've all been expecting, Shinichi is back to playing multiple roles, and Kaito is leading a boring British life

Please review or else~ ~

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Why did I say that? Why the Bloody Hell did I tell Kazuha that I'm not Hattori! ? And why in the world did I run away afterward! Now she'll believe I was telling the truth, or at least part of the truth! What am I going to say to her? !

Having left Kazuha on that unbelievable note I'd headed straight for Hattori's house and was now laying on his bed with the door locked as I debated with myself what the correct course of action would be from here on out.

I had already decided that I didn't want to lie anymore but there were some measures that had to be taken to protect Kudo-kun's identity as Edogawa-kun and possibly Kuroba's identity as Kaitou Kid so the full truth was not an option. Between not wanting to lie and being unable to tell the truth what option does that leave me?

I couldn't keep myself from sighing, "What did I ever do to deserve being dragged into this ridiculous mess..."

Suddenly there was a knock on the bedroom door, "Heiji! or ... not-Heiji! Er, whoever ya are open up! Ya've got some explainin' ta do!"

Right, Kazuha is Hattori's childhood friend, it wouldn't be questioned if she came over here to talk to him. For the time being I had no choice but to open the door before she decided to break it down and at least offer her part of the truth.

"Alright, ya better tell me jus' what's goin' on! Who're ya an' where's Heiji? Why've ya been pretendin' ta be Heiji fer so long?"

"This is going to sound really weird, okay? Please, just calm down, I'll tell you everything you want to know..." I replied trying not to sound as panicked as I was on the inside, when she nodded I continued, "I'm the high school detective Hakuba Saguru, and for whatever reason Hattori and I as well as a few other individuals have all been stuck inside each others bodies after a recent Kaitou Kid heist. To answer your question Hattori is Edogawa Conan right now..."

The moment that I'd mentioned Edogawa-kun she seemed shocked she took out her cellphone and started dialing as though the world was going to end if she didn't make this call.

I grabbed her hand just as she was about to press the send button and start the call, looking at her with a gaze of the utmost seriousness I said, "Please, don't tell anyone about this."

Hesitantly she nodded as she pressed the call button, after a few moments the person on the other end seemed to have picked up because she began talking, "Hello Ran-chan, if it's not ne' trouble I was wonderin' if I could talk ta Conan-kun fer jus' a bit."

...

"Conan-kun, it's been more than a week already," Neechan said, her tone almost accusing, "I'm sure your cold has healed enough that you can talk by now."

Not good. If I talk I'll be found out!

I tried just motioning with my hands, hoping I could get a message like 'my throat hurts' or something similar across.

"Conan-kun... no Shinichi, if there's something wrong just tell me, ok?" Neechan said, she seemed genuinely worried though I suppose I was the one at fault for that, "Just tell me so I can help you..."

"I'm... fine..." I replied, finding it extremely difficult to talk in a childish tone and sound somewhat hoarse at the same time while speaking in Tokyo-ben. I really hoped I hadn't said anything that would tip her off that I wasn't Kudo.

Wait... did she jus' call me... 'Shinichi'? Kuso! She's suspectin' dat 'Conan' might be 'Kudo' again. What'd I do ta make 'er suspicious? Was it somethin' I did... somethin' I said? How am I supposed ta do ta make 'er stop thinkin' dat Conan's Kudo... right now I'm Conan an' I'm not Kudo! Kuso, kuso, kuso...

"Shinichi?" She said, clearly questioning that I'd replied to that name moments before, leaving me almost no way out of the situation; that is to say no way out but the truth, and maybe a little lie.

I sighed, giving up the annoying primary schooler facade and the phoney 'I have a cold and can't talk well' act, and not even bothering to try speaking Tokyo-ben, "No, ya've got da wrong guy, I ain't Kudo."

She was taken aback, "O- Osaka-ben? !"

"I kin explain."

...

Hattori called me, I really had a bad feeling about answering it but did anyway despite my misgivings, "Hello?"

"Kudo, I had ta tell Neechan 'bout da whole body swappin' thin' she would'a started thinkin' ya were Conan, sorry I know ya didn't want 'er ta worry 'bout ya," he responded, his wording made it obvious that she was in the room listening to him but from the sounds of it he'd managed to convince her for the time being that Conan and I were separate people. He was probably calling now so he could discretely clue me in on whatever lie he'd told.

I sighed, somewhat annoyed that he'd had to tell her what he had, "So, what happened Hattori?"

Before he had the chance to reply my phone -the phone I used as Conan to talk to Ran as Shinichi, I still kept it with me because there was no way that Hattori could play the part of me and Conan both especially with his accent- started ringing, the caller ID told me it was Ran.

Crap! What did he tell her?

"Ah, I've got to go Hattori, I've got another call coming."

"Wait! Kudo! Don-" Hattori managed to say in the time before I hung up, making me worry even more about what he might have told her but I was fairly confident that I could just play it by ear.

"Oh, Hello Ran," I answered the phone.

Her response was definitely not within the range of what I was expecting, "Drop the act Conan-kun, Hattori-kun told me everything."

Oh, so that's how it is... he told her about the body swapping but to make it seem like Conan and I were separate people he told her that Conan had wound up in my body and then left everything else the same...

It was going to be pretty tough to act appropriately, "A-re-re he did? But Heiji-niichan promised that he wouldn't tell anybody!"

...

The four of us got together for a meeting of sorts. Really it seemed as if the three detectives lives had descended into chaos leaving me the only one with any illusion of a normal life. I mean it, I stop watching them for one day while I worry that I might be becoming British and look what's happened:

Hakuba told Kazuha about the body swapping- though he was vague about the details, Hattori told the entire Shonen Tantei dan about who he really was and then he managed to get Ran Mouri to be suspicious about Shinichi again and covered it with a ridiculous lie, and luckily Shinichi is so busy playing two roles because of Hattori's lie that he hasn't had the chance to really mess anything up himself.

Honestly though, how is it that I'm the only one that's managed to keep my situation free of chaos, typically I'd be the one at the center of all the chaos... I am a magician after all. Maybe it's just their crappy detective luck that's making everything so much worse for them.

It's a miracle that all the lies we've told so far actually fit together, or maybe it's just a miracle that Aoko, Ran, and Kazuha haven't all met each other.

In any case everything was settled once we got it straightened out who knew what and what lies were being used to cover up which secrets. All we had to do was wait for Akako's cold to heal so we could get back to normal before everything starts getting out of hand...

...well before I'm stuck as a boring British person forever.