Chapter 80

Meanwhile, Elizabeth feels rather overwhelmed by the importance of all the people around her.

Actually, the opposite is true. Observing the cream of London high society she is nothing so much as disappointed, they all seem rather dull. Dull in their behaviour and conversation that is, for the colours all around her are positively gaudy.

She has taken Simon's advice and has had Fanny dress her in the least exuberant of her new ensembles, and she is happy to have listened to him or she would have stood out like, well, like Fitzwilliam, actually. He absolutely refused to wear breeches and a colourful coat, and now he not only tops the few present males by at least a head, and the ladies by even more, his dress proclaims him a dangerous, progressive radical.

And he doesn't seem to care one bit.

For someone who used to hate society he seems to have taken to it above Elizabeth's wildest expectations. He does get a lot of admiring looks and even a few stares, maybe they make him feel attractive. But somehow she cannot imagine that's it, in fact, he seems almost lost in thought.

Darcy has no clue of Elizabeth's train of thoughts, he is enjoying the attention but for an entirely different reason: he is especially aware of his beloved, comparing all the ladies he sees to her, as he did at the Ball. None can measure up to his Elizabeth, in his eyes she is the most beautiful, the smartest, and loveliest of all, and she loves him and no other. To be the one walking beside her is the best thing that ever happened to him.

And there is no way she'll ever see him in breeches again, better have everyone stare at him than have Elizabeth look at him as she looked at Manners when she spied their guest in those foppish clothes. The garish colours, the shoes, Darcy cannot imagine how he once wore coats and buckles like that himself. Never again!

Tomorrow, they'll be among the middle-class, and Darcy is really curious how that will turn out. Elizabeth will be wearing one of the more spectacular dresses, Mr Goodfellow will probably attend since it's a public affair, and undoubtedly the gossipers of the society pages will also look their fill of Mr Fielding and his new in-laws. But Darcy mostly wonders whether his soon to be brother-in-law will be chased as determinedly as he is here.

He expects not, and he turns out to be almost right.

As they share Manners' carriage to the hall, Eric feels a certain anticipation rise inside him. This is the world that he came from, where he often performed, where he is already known. The higher classes have accepted him above his expectation, he really needed a quiet day at the piano with Georgiana to process the adulation and possessiveness of the ladies the night before, but what will his former patron's peers say?

Will they adore his music, now officially known as his, and as romantic? Or will they hate it as much as Mr Zumpe did? Tonight he will find out.

The hall is magnificent, they are let in through a veritable artists' entrance at the side of the building, into a comfortable room where they can sit and chat, or where Eric can take his time to find his inner quiet and prepare for the show. At the request of the owner they have come two hours before opening, the stage is located in a public part of the hall, so Eric will have to test the piano before the audience arrives.

'We are nearly sold out, Mr Fielding,' the owner states, he has come to introduce himself to the artist and see whether he is pleased with the accommodation.

'I expect the rest of the seats to be taken within ten minutes after opening. Shall I give you and your entourage a little tour of the building, to give you a feel for it? After that you can try the instrument, I'm so glad you agreed to use our own, I would have loved to have you before now, but Mr Zumpe... well, the less said about that the better. Will you follow me?'

The stage is the highest he has seen so far and there are not one, but two instruments placed on it. One actually seems to be a harpsichord!

'I can see you've noticed our dear little harpsichord. When I read in the papers that you'd found one in your new patron's attic I thought to myself, what Mr Fielding can do, I can do. So I sent someone to the basement of this building, and had my pick from three. I consulted an expert, actually I asked Mr Goodfellow, and he said this one was the best, so I had it fixed up and tuned. I thought you might want to try it, and if it's good enough, we hoped you'd play it, to give the audience what they read about in the papers. If you don't want to use it, we'll have it removed before the show, no-one will even know it was there. Well, except Mr Goodfellow, but he's your biggest admirer, he'll not publish anything you might not like to read about yourself.'

Eric nods, he likes being treated with respect, he really likes that. And he still wishes to meet Mr Goodfellow in private, pick his brain for knowledge on modern music.

Looking around, he realises why the stage is so high, the hall is very large, there are two balconies all around the large middle section, and Eric gets a little nervous thinking of the number of people that will fit in here.

'Won't the sound of the piano drown in the size of this hall?' he asks.

The man smiles proudly, and replies, 'Performers often fear that, but the hall is built in such a way that a single piano will reach the furthest seat without trouble. If the audience is quiet, which I have to admit they sometimes aren't.'

He doesn't seem too care very much about that possibility, so Eric decides he won't either. So far, his audiences have been very attentive.

After leading them through the great hall into a kind of foyer, then up to one of the balconies, and back behind the scenes, the owner leaves them in the backstage room, offering to send someone in with drinks and to help with the preparations. Eric accepts gratefully and takes his beloved and his materials with him to the stage, while Darcy, Mrs Darcy and Manners take a seat in the hall.

The piano can use a little adjustment but the harpsichord is in perfect tune, and soon Eric is playing scales and his practice piece in happy concentration, while Georgiana watches him from the side of the stage.

It's another Italian instrument, had Mr Zumpe allowed Eric to play it before he would have been shocked to hear how much better it sounds than a Zumpe when playing virtuous works. Maybe it's for the best he never did. Strangely enough, Eric is starting to feel the advantage of a more versatile instrument, to him the depth such a piano adds to his own compositions is by now exceeding the drawbacks when playing virtuous works. He only plays those to improve himself, well, and to prove himself, but his real love lies with the feeling music, and that sounds so much better on his own instrument, and Georgiana's.

But again, this is a hall filled with people eager to be entertained, not music-lovers splitting hairs, so it will probably be fine.

An hour passes quickly with a new instrument to explore, two in fact, for he loves the idea of playing a few works on the harpsichord.

'Will you try the folk-songs, Mr Fielding?' Mrs Darcy calls out as he sits down at the little beauty, and tries a few chords to get the feel of it.

A good idea, and he plays her favourites, Mrs Darcy has been his most steady advocate from the moment they first met, no matter how famous he may become he will never forget her certainty that he was going to make it to the top, and how she even managed to make him believe her. Of course he is not even close to the top, yet, but he feels he is well on his way towards independence, and at this moment taking care of himself and his beloved is more important than fame everlasting.

When he finishes he hears applause, but not from the first row, from all the way back, and he looks up to see who is clapping. A little group of people wearing aprons is standing in the entrance, they must have been drawn to the music from their jobs elsewhere in the building, it looks as if they are kitchen workers, or serving-staff. Apparently they really can hear whatever he is playing from up there, which heartens Eric more than a little.

Of course they do not comment or approach, they are at work and need to return to their duties, but the fact that his music tempted them away from their jobs is a compliment in itself.

When he is done they retreat to the room backstage and talk away half an hour. Then, a member of the staff comes along and shows the others their seats, after which Georgiana stays with Eric, and Manners and Darcy and Mrs Darcy move towards the main hall, to have a look at the audience of this night.

The seclusion of this room and the number of people expected to attend remind him of the Ball, and when Georgiana takes his left hand in hers and starts to massage it gently, the picture is complete. His feelings rise until they threaten to overwhelm him, a state he relishes because it will make his performance stronger, and he allows himself to remember that fateful night, and how he said his farewells through his music.

This time, his beloved need not keep a decent distance from him and he takes her on his lap while she continues her massage until the left hand feels totally activated, then switches to his right. After that, she straddles him and kisses him deeply, rather naughty but since there is no-one to see it, Eric indulges her and himself by returning her kiss as it is offered.

By the time they are both out of breath, and more than a little excited, someone enters the room and says, 'It's time, Mr Fielding.'

It's the man who led the others to their seats earlier, and he does not look shocked or outraged by their intimacy. He is probably used to artists using their last few minutes before a show to get a bit of heart put into them. Georgiana gets up, she doesn't even blush at having been caught in a very indecent posture, and once Eric is also standing on his two feet they kiss one last time, and walk towards the stage-entrance hand in hand.

'Go get them, Eric,' she whispers, and, still affected and excited, he lets go of her hand and steps onto the stage.

The hall is filled to the brim, and as the lights are turned up to illuminate him a hushed silence falls over the audience, who were chatting freely moments before. He walks to the front of the stage and bows, applause now breaking the silence. Making an entrance is so gratifying, though playing while the people were finding their seats was also great fun, yesterday.

Then he sits down at the piano and starts to play, and everything around him ceases to exist for the duration of his first piece. When he is done the applause dwarfs any he has heard before, and for some reason he feels an urge to acknowledge this crowd and address them.

'Thank you so much, all of you, for coming here to listen to my playing,' he says, 'I'm glad you liked it so far. First I'm going to play some more of these incredibly difficult pieces for you, to prove I'm really a very good pianist.'

A laugh murmurs through the hall, they like it.

'Then I'm going to entertain you with some folk-songs, and take you back a few decades, when the piano-forte was still a rarity and the common man played a harpsichord.

And finally I'm going to become very personal, taking all of you on a journey, with a concerto I wrote myself. Enjoy!'

Then he walks back to the piano and launches into another sonata, relishing the speed and the clarity of this instrument. As fas as he can tell the folk-songs, especially those he plays on the harpsichord, are received well, and the Bach, though very different, is appreciated no less.

Back to the piano for another hour of music, but totally different, and much more intimate.

Remembering Georgiana's touch on his hands, and her kiss, he gives his all, this instrument needs a little extra to give the emotions their due but he feels he manages well. Then it's done, and in a storm of applause he moves back to the front of the stage and bows, looking for Georgiana in the first row and finding her, her eyes sparkling and her cheeks flushed, as usual.

When the applause starts to die down a little, the lights in the hall brighten and he moves towards the back for a hug from his beloved and a drink. After that he will speak to as many of his listeners as he can, of course with such numbers he cannot manage to talk to them all, but he expects to see Mr Goodfellow at the very least, and countless strangers.

After nearly two hours of playing it is exhausting to be polite to dozens of people he has never seen before, and answer the same questions again and again. Did he really write those beautiful compositions? Are his parents really humble cow-herds? Is his engagement to Miss Darcy really definitive?

What do they think? That it will last until he is famous, and then he'll marry a girl from the audience?

Of course there are some interesting conversations as well, and doing this is very good for his reputation, he can see and hear that for himself, even if Manners hadn't convinced him before he even played his first concert as a free artist.

'You're done for, Fielding, better call it quits for the day.'

His brother-in-law is right, Eric is fagged, there are only a few people left in the hall and the owner wants to start cleaning up the venue, it's time to gather their stuff and leave. Hearing Darcy's comment, Manners looks at Eric and takes charge, as usual.

'All right people, I'm sorry, but it's closing time, besides, Mr Fielding is worn out, as you can see. We're going to take him home for some well-deserved rest. Thank you for coming, and until next time!'

It is still incredible how people obey Manners and not even feel disgruntled to do so. It's as if he hypnotises them, they leave satisfied, chatting to their friends.

Their host comes by, shakes hands with Eric and says, 'Though we're clearing this hall, you need not leave instantly, there is a complimentary bottle to enjoy together in the backstage room, so you can catch your breath before you return home.

Thank you so much, Mr Fielding, not just for your fabulous music, but also for treating the crowd with such consideration. You're my new example of what a star should be like.

I'm so glad I asked you to play here, it was a certain risk, not having heard your work myself, but Mr Goodfellow generally knows about music, I'm glad I decided to trust his taste. What did you think of the piano? Would you have preferred to have a Zumpe here, do you think this is the wrong choice of instrument for a place like this?'

Eric gives the man his honest opinion, 'I suppose you usually have light entertainment here, not opera or other deeply emotional music?'

The man nods, 'We bring entertainment to people who earn a good wage, but work hard to do so. They want to be diverted, with singing, dancing, not too difficult you know.'

'In that case, you have the perfect instrument, it's perfect for virtuous, glad music. I would only prefer a Zumpe for the most feeling compositions, like the ones I closed with.'

Showing some insight in what is his livelihood, after all, the owner comments, 'I see, now you mention it, I can imagine how that would work, this instrument emphasises the brightness, the vivacity. And here I thought those works were perfect already. You say they're even better when played on Zumpe?'

'They are, though the difference may not be obvious to everyone.'

'I wish I could hear you play them on a Zumpe, to find out if I'm one of those. I liked them tremendously, even here. I'll talk to Mr Goodfellow about organising a meeting of true depth, not in this hall though, somewhere smaller and more intimate. You know he has a circle of friends who study music from overseas? I saw you talking to him, I suppose you know him at least a little?'

That makes Eric feel hungry, and yes, envious. He wants to be part of that, he wants to learn more, know more about all music. Mr Goodfellow talked to him for a good while tonight, but he did not mention a circle of music adepts, of course Eric doesn't qualify at all to be part of such a group, he can play anything he sets his mind to, and he can compose, but as he found out talking to the scruffy little journalist, he actually knows very little about music in itself.

But he controls his feelings, he is tired, that makes everything larger than it really is, and says calmly, 'I know him, despite being a journalist he is an admirable character. He has impressed me before with his knowledge of music.'

'You're tired, Mr Fielding, I can see it. Thank you again for playing for us, I suppose Mr Manners will arrange the financial details? I'll let you go to take some rest with your new fiancée, and I hope to meet you again soon! Good night!'

And he is gone, off the stage through some inconspicuous door on the far left side. Eric follows Georgiana to the room backstage, she has done her share of the talking and socialising, as have Darcy and Mrs Darcy, and Manners. They all share a bottle of wine, an excellent vintage indeed, and as Manners leaves for a moment, taking Georgiana to the manager to deal with the financial side of the evening, Mrs Darcy shares her observations of the crowd with Eric.

'They were all totally absorbed, Mr Fielding, even through the lively bits. I do believe they loved the folk-songs as much as I do, I'm glad you incorporated them in your show.'

As they talk a little more about the public and the hall, the door on the other side of the room opens, the side that the staff uses, and an elderly lady in an apron and a cap appears, very hesitantly. When she is still mostly in the doorway, she speaks humbly.

'Mr Fielding, sir, I'm sorry to disturb you after your hard work, and if the manager finds out I bothered you here my job is on the line. But I found this girl crying her eyes out in the lobby, and said she needed to speak with you urgently, said she knew you before. I felt so sorry for her I thought I'd try. Will you please see her for a moment?'

'Louise?'

It has to be her, Eric never knew any other girls. Unaware he has spoken her name out loud, he can see a dark shape separating itself from the elderly lady, who retreats back into the main building quickly.

'Erich! Mein Herz, mein Liebling! I've missed you so much!'

She runs at him, and before he has gathered his wits about him, she is in his arms, crying on his black coat. Eric's first sensible thought is to be glad Darcy and Mrs Darcy are present, or the possibilities for misunderstandings would be infinite.

Louise is still crying stormily, and as Mrs Darcy pours a glass of wine for the girl and waters it well, Eric holds Louise for a short moment, it's not indecent, Eric has seen Darcy hold his sister countless times after all. When Louise's crying lets up a tiny bit he directs her to a chair, and Eric catches his companions' eyes and shakes his head at them, they look on the verge of leaving them by themselves, but he needs to keep them in the room. Eric has no idea how Louise came here all by herself, but he knows his former patron. Mr Zumpe is not above slyness and trickery, and Eric is not risking his future and his engagement by being alone with an unmarried girl who is in love with him.

Sitting in a chair, glass of wine and Mrs Darcy's handkerchief in her hand, Louise is still looking desperately unhappy, but no longer out of control.

Gently, Eric asks, 'How did you get here, Louise, whom are you with? Is Mr Zumpe here as well? Or your mother?'

'He would never have let me go to one of your concerts, I heard of it from Mr Wilbur, you know, who runs the showroom, and I decided I'd sneak out of the house and just attend. I needed to see you again, Eric, I love you so much, and papa said you'd been taken against your will, lured in by promises of fame and fortune by some noble. Your pupil's brother, he said.

But the maid said that wasn't true, she said papa had thrown you out, she had heard him threaten you, and tell you to pack your things and go. She said the papers wrote Mr Darcy had saved you from the streets. Why would papa throw you out, Eric, he knew I loved you, didn't he? And why would he lie to me? I'm his daughter!

I've been so unhappy, I needed to see you, and hear the truth, from the only person who can truly know, and the only man I can ever love.'

And here he thought he had earned a nice, quiet evening. Poor Louise. This was going to be hard on her, and then they'd have to get her home without Mr Zumpe catching her.

'Louise, I'm sorry, but your maid was right. Your father did throw me out, mostly because I had started to write my own music, and was determined to play it on stage, and he didn't like it at all. He hated my music, and forbade me to play it in front of anyone.'

'But Eric, it was beautiful! Your music is beautiful, I heard it just now and I couldn't believe you had made that all by yourself! How could papa not be proud of your talent, Eric? I don't understand. He loves you, and I love you, what happened to make him do that?'

She is going to get horribly hurt, and there is nothing Eric can do for her to make it better, his poor sister, poor Louise. He will not even be able to keep an eye on her, once Mr Zumpe finds out she's been to Eric's concert he'll keep her behind lock and key.

'My insisting on playing my own music and my determination to follow my ambitions were not the only reasons he asked me to leave, Louise. He wanted you and me to get married, and I told him I could never love you that way. I love you like a sister, Louise, I could never marry you, nor make you happy if I did.'

He cannot say anything more than that, for Louise has started to cry again, heartrendingly, and she pleads, 'Bitte, Erich, sage das nicht, don't tell me you cannot love me! How do you know? Sometimes love takes a little longer to grow, mama said that, she said she didn't love papa when they got married but love came later.'

Helpless against such unwillingness to accept the truth Eric tries to stay mild and friendly.

'So you knew I didn't want to marry you. Why don't you accept it, Louise? It would be so much better for both of us if you did.'

The poor girl must have something of her father's stubbornness, for she does not relent.

'I'm sure papa will let you come back now you're famous, Eric, he'll come to love your music as much as I do.'

Now Eric is running out of patience.

'Louise, did Mr Zumpe send you over to try and get me to come back?'

But it is clear that is not the case, for the girl breaks down, and cries, 'No, he didn't, if he knows I'm here he'll be so mad, but I had to know. Can't I stay with you, then, if you like it better where you are now?'

'Louise, I don't love you like that. I cannot marry you, not ever. I'm so sorry your father didn't see fit to tell you, for I certainly told him, repeatedly. I'm sorry to hurt you, but I'm in love with someone else, I'm engaged, Louise. To Miss Darcy. I've been in love with her for months, even when I still lived with all of you.'

Harsh as it is, that finally does the trick, Louise's face clearly shows she believes him now, and here she proves she is not entirely like her father for she does not turn to rage, but merely sits in total silence for as much as five minutes.

Then she whispers, 'So the maid was right in that as well. You are engaged to another, a noble girl, a beautiful, smart girl with accomplishments. I never knew the paper did write the truth so often. I hoped papa had not been lying to me. I prayed there was still hope. Now I know. I'm sorry to have bothered you, I won't bother you again. Can I still buy a ticket now and then, to see you perform?'

'Do you think your father will allow you, Louise? I think I have a right to give some tickets away for every show. If you send word I'll make sure you get in, to me you're still my sister, Louise, we had such great times together.'

'We had, Eric. Until I ruined things by falling in love with you. I'm sorry. Also for papa treating you badly, and kicking you out. Though you seem happy now. I guess I will have to make papa allow me to go, it's time I stood up for myself. The thought scares me, but he did lie to me, and not just once.

I think I'll be going now, I've taken up enough of your time. I wish you all the best, Eric, you and Miss Darcy.'

Then she addresses the others, 'Mr Darcy, Mrs Darcy, I'm glad you saved Eric from the streets, my father should not have deserted him. You look very handsome together, like the paper said.'

'You're not going back all by yourself, in the dark, are you, Miss Zumpe?'

Trust Mrs Darcy to think of a practical thing at a time like this.

'I see no other way to get home, Mrs Darcy. I snuck out, and I'm going to sneak right back in.'

'Mrs Darcy is right, Miss Zumpe, it is not safe for a girl to be out on the streets all by herself, it's dark by now. We're leaving as soon as Mr Manners and Miss Darcy have returned, we'll take you home.'

Darcy's calm authority nearly sways Louise, but she clearly means to stand up for herself starting immediately.

'Thank you for your kind offer, Mr Darcy, but I cannot take it: if a carriage pulls up before our house, my father will certainly notice my absence. I will have to go on foot.'

Not to mention the discomfort that travelling with the man she loves, and his fiancée, would give her. But before anyone can make an issue, Georgiana returns, with Manners.

It is rather embarrassing for Louise to meet Eric's fiancée, though apparently she knew of his engagement before she even came over. Still, with Manners present to smooth things over, the introduction of both ladies goes rather well. Georgiana obviously knows who this girl with red-rimmed eyes is as soon as she has heard a family name, and pities Louise more than she can feel jealous of Eric's foster-sister.

Louise is quite impressed by Georgiana, she is tall, beautiful and incredibly well-dressed. And self-assured, Eric suddenly realises, she has grown so much since their engagement! Of course Manners' taking her along to arrange Eric's business has done a great deal to make her feel useful, Manners is promoting their independence steadily and Georgiana thrives under his efforts, even more than Eric himself.

As soon as the situation has been explained to the newcomers, Manners offers to take Louise home.

'She should not walk the streets alone in the dark, she is a gentle maiden and not used to the rough folk out there. I can take her to her door without raising questions, somehow people never look at me twice, they merely assume I have a reason to be wherever I am at a given moment. Will you trust me to bring you home safely, Miss Zumpe?'

'Strangely enough, I do, Mr Manners, though I've never met you before and you look very strong. I suppose that merely affirms what you just told us. Well then, I do admit I feel safer with a companion, I was planning to use the side door, but if it's locked I'll have to go to the front and face my father straight away.'

For some reason, Manners is in a magnanimous mood, for he bows to Louise and asks, 'Do you perchance have a sturdy metal hairpin on you, Miss Zumpe?'

Her look is worth millions, as she replies with great surprise, 'I do, Mr Manners. Why do you ask, if I may inquire?'

He looks so steady and minister-like, of course the existence of his clique already belies that image, but what Manners proposes next really beats all.

'Should the door be locked, if you'll lend me a hairpin such as I described, I think I can open it for you, with no-one the wiser. Advantages of a misspent youth, my lady.'

Louise is stunned by his attitude, that's very easy to see, but also just a tiny bit interested. If Eric didn't know for a fact she'll be safe with him, he would have distrusted the charmer with what he regards as his sister. But since his energy is fading rapidly he is glad to know Louise to be in excellent hands, she'll most probably even get away with sneaking out of the house to go to a concert.

'Ladies, gentlemen, I will return to fetch you with my carriage in, half an hour?'

This last with a look at Louise, who offers, 'It's not even ten minutes to my home. I know the way.'

Of course she does, she lives there.

'Be brave, my dear sister.' He gives her one last, well-meant hug.

'I will, Eric, I will make you proud. Thank you for being so kind to me, and I hope you become really famous.'

As Manners leads the girl towards the artists' entrance, Eric sits down, now truly exhausted, and Georgiana drags one of the chairs to his side and sits down right next to him, too bad she cannot straddle him in the presence of her brother and sister as she did before the concert. But it's very pleasant to have her sitting by his side, holding his hand, giving him as much love as she is allowed to, his beloved, his smart, ambitious girl, who catches his eye, then puts her other hand in the pocket of her dress, and shows him a wad of cash, just a hint of it.

His payment for the concert! Manners gave it to Georgiana for safe-keeping, it looks like a lot of money. Of course he knows exactly how much it is, but still he is impressed, such pay for just two hours of work. And Georgiana isn't at all afraid to keep it for him, that is obvious.

Before long, Manners returns to tell them their carriage is ready, and that Miss Zumpe has been safely returned to her parental abode and helped to re-enter it with utter stealth and as such, unnoticed. He really did it, break into Mr Zumpe's place to help Louise get away with sneaking out to visit a concert!

'So you found the door locked, Mr Manners?' Mrs Darcy asks, obviously diverted.

'What will you say if I tell you we did indeed, Mrs Darcy? Will you be outraged? I hope not, for Miss Zumpe was really quite scared to be taken to task for her boldness to meet Mr Fielding. Though I guess she will develop some backbone yet, she said she would work on that, she was rather angry to have been lied to by her father. I delivered her to her bedroom, and it did seem undisturbed, so I guess she will get away with it.'

Of course there is no way to find out whether that's true.