Comrades:

As humans, we often find ourselves stuck at a crossroads, torn between two deceivingly similar paths. But because we can be a species that quickly gets carried away, we decide based on the outcome, the final destination of the whole journey, rather than the journey itself.

And since Kakashi is also a human, he found himself stuck in one of these particularly difficult situations.

"You have two choices, Kakashi. The first option is an oral medication called temozolomide, or temodar," Tsunade started practically, gesticulating with her hands as if she were talking to a child, making sure to hold her gaze with the shinobi seated before her desk. "You would take it once a day, with a meal, and the good thing about it is that there aren't many side effects."

He leaned forward with a deep gulp, his palms sweating underneath the table, brows knitted in apprehension. "And the second option? What is it?"

The hokage cleared her throat and looked down for a fleeting second, breaking the firm connection that they'd shared through the eye contact. However short, that mere moment of insecurity on Tsunade's part was enough to worry Kakashi, who was already anxious enough.

"Well, after years of careful research, we came up with an intravenous clinical trial," she said finally, making her voice as professional as she could manage, "But it isn't a fairly established procedure, Kakashi. As a consequence, you'd have to stay in the hospital for about a month, inpatient, so we can observe you. And there are...many side effects, if you're comparing it to the temodar."

He narrowed his eyes, taking in the new information. It certainly didn't sound pleasant, to say the least.

"What are the side effects, Lady Tsunade?" Kakashi questioned with a sigh, crossing his arms and reclining back into a more comfortable position. It seemed as if nothing was easy these days, so he might as well accept it, and endure it.

"Loss of appetite, nausea, weight loss...You'll probably throw up a lot, and lose a few more pounds. Diarrhea, or conversely constipation could affect you. However, the medication interacts differently with each individual, so it's hard to tell you exactly what to expect," she started hesitantly, reluctant to reveal the whole truth to him.

But no, she knew she had to, because he had cancer, and it was her responsibility as a doctor to tell him everything, just as it was. There was simply no time to sugarcoat.

"I can assure you that you'll be in such debilitating pain, you'll need help walking to the bathroom. Your immune system will become weakened, and as a consequence, we'll have to regulate whatever you eat and who goes into your room. You will feel like crap, Kakashi."

"I don't understand..." he started huskily, voice gravelly with fatigue. He ran a hand through his messy mop of hair, as his overgrown bangs were starting to become uncomfortably long. "How can there possibly be any benefits at all to the clinical trial?"

Frankly, it sounded like it would harm him more than help him.

"You would recover significantly faster. We're betting on a year until remission with the temodar, whereas the clinical trial would take a month to work, ideally," she explained, then added, to sound like less of a robot and more of a human, "Look, I'm not telling you to pick the latter, although it would be more convenient in the long run. Whichever you choose, it's always your decision, Kakashi. You're an adult and you can make choices for yourself—never forget that."

There was no doubt in his genius mind that she was wrong. His decisions were always, always influenced by someone who wasn't him, by a precious person that he cared far too much about.

"I..." he started softly, after a contemplative pause, staring somewhere into the blue morning sky outside the window behind her head, "I'll..."

He envisioned two bright, ear to ear grins, and one smirk, hearing nothing but a gaggle of childish giggles, and the occasional dispute which, of course, he would have to break up.

"...I'll go with the clinical trial."

"Kurenai?" Kakashi said confusedly, slowly setting down his book.

"Hey, Kakashi," The kunoichi greeted with a small, casual wave from the door, proceeding to stride over to his hospital bed and plop right down, after carefully placing an overnight bag on the tile next to her feet.

"Um...What are you doing here?" he asked finally, subconsciously sitting up straighter, and pulling the blanket over his legs. If he was being completely honest, he was a little perturbed by her sudden arrival, finding it somewhat awkward that she was there alone.

He wasn't very close to Kurenai—they were comrades, but he'd never gone out of his way to talk to her regularly. Well, he didn't really talk to anyone regularly, so maybe that wasn't fair.

She punched him on the shoulder lightly at his lack of a proper greeting. He flinched in discomfort, as the impact of the hit was a little too close to the fresh incision on his chest. He didn't blame her though, as it was secure underneath the cotton of his T-shirt, hidden from any watching eyes.

They had implanted a port into his chest, so that they would be able to give him the chemotherapy more efficiently, directly through his central vein. This way, the need for a needle was also eliminated.

"Wow, thanks for the warm welcome," Kurenai uttered sarcastically, face clearly unimpressed, "I'm staying overnight. Thought you'd want someone here for your first day."

Kakashi shifted uneasily, his gaze drifting towards the window, not focused at the moon, but instead at the infinite darkness. "You didn't have to do that..."

He wasn't sure how she'd even found out-- he hadn't told anyone about his chemotherapy.

"Look, I know you'd rather have Gai, or maybe Asuma here...but they're both away on missions...and I'm also your friend, Kakashi," she interrupted with a sigh, starting to stand up, "Anyways, I'm going to go to the bathroom. Can't sleep in this, can I?."

His bored eyes followed her as she picked up her backpack and made her way to the door, his brows furrowed, mouth unsure of what it would say when it finally did open up.

Obviously, she was going out of her way to be there for him, and basically declaring that she was his friend. He felt as if he was socially obligated to let her know that he appreciated her gesture of comradery.

"...Hey," he stopped her, "Thanks, Kurenai. It...means a lot."

She froze mid step, her hand on the door knob, red lips lighting up into a smile. "Of course, Kakashi. We're comrades after all."

"Breathe in, Mr. Hatake," said the nurse, a plump, old woman, with laughing creases lining her wise eyes. He inhaled deeply, expecting the worst.

When she pushed the large needle into the surgically implanted port in his chest, which connected to a central vein under his skin, a pained gasp didn't fail to escape past his parted lips, his eyes reflexively watering with burning tears.

"You did well," the nurse encouraged with a voice aged by time, her pruney fingers dexterously working to cover the access site under his collarbone with bandages. "You did very well, Kakashi."

He pulled the left sleeve of his T-shirt back on with wide eyes and tiredly confined himself to the mattress, leaning his aching head back into the white, utilitarian pillows. Kakashi watched as she messed with the tube coming out of his chest, attaching it to a pouch with a frighteningly unusual amber looking substance in it.

He could only watch as the clinical trial began to drip into him.

"You know, someone's movin' a bed in here, right next to your own. Saw the hospital staff lugging it up in the elevator," the nurse started, finally turning to face him, "I'm sure a handsome boy like you has a wife to support you on your first day..."

Kakashi shook his head slightly to quell off her thoughts, eyes closed, as he was starting to feel a bit drowsy. "She's a friend, and only that. Besides, I'm not into marriage. Too much commitment."

"I see...Well, press the call button if anything goes wrong. There's a bucket at your bedside just in case, alright? Good luck, I really do hope that everything goes well," the nurse said with a genuine smile, before she started to walk away, her heels making clapping sounds on the hard tile as she exited the room.

It was somewhere between midnight and dawn when he woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for breath, his stomach sore and churning horribly with food that he didn't remember eating.

Gripping his pained abdomen, Kakashi reached over the side of the bed, fumbling for a bucket, his eyes blurring and his mind foggy. He made a conscious effort to stay as silent as possible, as Kurenai was fast asleep right next to him, her breaths even, and her eyes closed.

His trembling hands knocked the bucket to the floor with a loud clang.

"...Kakashi?" Kurenai mumbled with a yawn, starting to sit up in bed.

He had been too loud.

"What are you doing? Is something wro—"

Somehow, with the aid of adrenaline, he swiped the container off the ground and removed his mask with a flick of the wrist, before heaving violently into it, his face practically hidden in the deep opening.

Kurenai jumped out of bed and bolted to his side, placing a hand on his hunched back, all the sleep driven from her eyes. Face twisting grotesquely in agony, Kakashi continued to vomit, barely having time to breathe before another strong wave of nausea wracked his form.

"Should I call the nurse?" she questioned worriedly, rubbing firm circles on his back in an attempt to alleviate his audible pain. Her eyes were wide, and her lips were pulled down into a worried frown.

"No," he gasped pleadingly, jerking away from her touch, a pale, shaky hand held up to stop her from coming any closer. "No...J-just leave. Go away."

He was disgusted with himself, completely mortified, set off by any voice, sound, or touch. It certainly didn't help that she was invading his personal space, and seeing him when he was most vulnerable.

Kakashi genuinely wanted to be alone. This was precisely the reason he hadn't told anyone about the clinical trial.

"How could I leave you like this? What do you take me for?!" Kurenai seethed, angry that he would even think to say such a thing.

Kakashi groaned in response and squinted his eyes shut, feeling acid streaming up his gullet again. With a pained gulp, he ducked his head into the bucket and threw up once more, his throat on fire.

Her features softened with empathy. "Oh, Kakashi..." she whispered, taking a seat next to him on the mattress, holding his heaving frame with both hands. "Just let me help you. Just let me."

His face sickeningly pale and beaded with sweat, sticky hair matted to his forehead, Kakashi stared at the ceiling, stiffly allowing her to embrace him. Gradually the fight began to leave him, and he slumped back against the headrest of his bed, his lips chapped and quivering under his mask.

Kakashi's adam's apple bobbed up and down as he struggled to push the bile back down his burning throat. His forehead was creased with the weight of his troubles, and his eyes were glazed over and distant.

Wordlessly, Kurenai set his head against her shoulder, her fingers starting to soothingly stroke his damp hair out of his traumatized eyes.

Gai stood by Kakashi's bedside with a deep frown, his thick brows drawn together in both rampant apprehension, and the feeling of being betrayed. He was staring at his friend's sleeping form with gaping eyes, wondering how the chemotherapy had been going, and also why he hadn't been informed that it was happening.

Shizune had mentioned the grueling inpatient treatment to Kurenai, who'd then told Gai—the Hatake hadn't told anyone directly. It wasn't very surprising that he'd kept it to himself; he was the type of person who was horrible at accepting help, and tended to want to go through the tough things alone.

However, even knowing the man's nature, Gai had expected different treatment. After all, he was the first person that Kakashi had told about his cancer. That had to mean something, didn't it?

As Gai gazed at Kakashi's visage, he found that it was shockingly ashen, with a thick sheen of perspiration coating it. In addition to that, his thin, silver eyebrows were unconsciously furrowed, as if he were in a great amount of discomfort. He was sleeping on his side in somewhat of a fetal position, and tightly clutching a pillow to his abdomen, a tube running from the IV pole on his left, into what seemed to be an area on his chest, bandaged and hidden underneath his shirt.

A steady beeping from the heart monitor rang throughout the room, cutting through the thick, tense silence.

To his utter humiliation, Gai hadn't been aware of how his rival had been doing as of late—he'd checked in on him religiously after the craniotomy, but steadily started to visit less and less as time went on. After coming back from his mission, he'd been caught by surprise upon learning that Kakashi was in the hospital for his cancer treatment.

He didn't really know how to sift through his intense, overlapping feelings, especially the frustration and hurt he had at not being kept in the loop. Nevertheless, he still had the strong desire to stay by Kakashi's side.

"So, how is he?" Gai asked Kurenai, who was still there, after having supported Kakashi through his first night of the difficult clinical trial, "Is he…doing okay?"

Kurenai sighed, shifting her weight nervously, and averting her eyes from Kakashi's unconscious form in the bed. Her mind was overwhelmed with memories from last night; she couldn't possibly forget how much pain he'd been in, and how violently he'd been throwing up. She had never seen Kakashi so vulnerable before.

"Gai…I can't lie to you. It has not been easy for him," Kurenai responded finally, her voice quiet with a somber worry, "He threw up quite a lot last night…I really don't think he should be alone right now, as much as he may insist that he wants to be…"

"He needs us...He can't do this alone, Gai...Well, even if he can, he shouldn't ."

Gai nodded slowly, taking in the information with an expression of unfiltered concern on his tanned visage.

"Thanks, Kurenai…for being there for Kakashi," he said with a tone full of regret, looking back at her with a watery gaze that openly displayed his heavy guilt at not being there.

"From now on, I won't let him be alone…"

"Yeah, of course," she told him in response, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder and giving it a squeeze, her lips turning up into a sad, strained smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

Kurenai still wasn't sure how to feel. The distinctly weakened condition that she'd seen Kakashi in, had been a completely new sight for her, and admittedly, it was taking longer than expected for her to adjust.

After watching him thoroughly vomit at 3 AM, off and on, she'd coaxed him back to sleep around dawn—it was now approaching 12:00 in the afternoon, and he still hadn't woken up. Although it was to be expected, Kurenai couldn't help but feel the anxious need to see him awake.

Crossing her arms, she let her gaze drift back to the copy ninja, her eyes narrowing in deep thought as she glanced at his closed lids, and the sweat soaking through the front of his thin tank top. It was hard for her to understand how the chemotherapy could already be affecting him so intensely.

"Should I wake him up?" Gai wondered aloud. He knew his rival very well, and found it strange that he was sleeping into noon, as he was usually an early riser.

"No, Gai," Kurenai responded quickly, shaking her head in disagreement, "Maybe it's best to just let him rest…His body probably needs the sleep."

She'd seen first hand how rough the Hatake's night had been, and didn't feel that it would be kind to force him awake. Gai stared at her dubiously, before looking back at Kakashi, his thick brows furrowed together as he weighed his options. He really wanted to talk to Kakashi—no, he needed to talk to him.

"I'm gonna wake him up," he said decidedly, already moving to place a palm on Kakashi's shoulder. He shook it lightly, much gentler than he would've been normally.

"Kakashi? Wake up…"

"Gai," Kurenai hissed, "What's wrong with you? Did you not hear a word I just said?"

He ignored her and continued to shake Kakashi's arm, using his free hand to push back the damp, matted silver bangs off of his clammy forehead. When Gai saw that his attempts were futile, he tried a different approach—-he bent down, putting his face right next to his friend's head.

"Please, wake up, my rival…I'll bring you miso soup," he whispered into Kakashi's ear, unaware of the intense glare directed at his back, "I'll buy you anything you want, even if it wipes out my wallet—Just open your eyes, Kakashi…"

With a frustrated huff, Kurenai facepalmed at Gai's behavior. She wondered what kind of idiot would bribe someone who'd just thrown up all night, with food. Then again, Gai had never really possessed great social cues, so the way he was acting wasn't entirely surprising.

Kakashi released a stifled, wavering breath in response to the obnoxious voice, groaning lightly, and shifting away from Gai with a deep crease between his eyebrows. Still barely conscious, he parted his chapped lips, and gulped dryly, in a way that seemed difficult, and visibly painful.

The beeping from the monitor grew faster as Kakashi's heart rate increased, a clear indication that his sleep had been disturbed.

The eager, awaiting smile on Gai's face slowly faded away as he watched Kakashi curl into himself, and bury his chin further into the blankets. His body had started to tremble under the sheets, and he was making breathy, sniveling noises of discontentment, as if he were cold, or in pain, or both.

"…Kakashi?" Gai began tentatively, coming to the solemn realization that his friend had seemed more comfortable before he'd urged him to wake up.

Kurenai immediately came forward to Kakashi's side upon noticing his visible shivering, her eyes glistening with worry as she placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Are you feeling alright?"

"…'s…c-cold," he mumbled incoherently, with slightly chattering teeth, barely able to bring any words past his raw, burning throat. His eyelids fluttered momentarily, but then closed just as quickly, as if opening them took too much effort.

Nodding silently, she tugged the thin, hospital-issued sheets all the way up to his neck, and reached down into her duffel bag, fervently rummaging around for something. From it, she procured a dark blue, crocheted blanket that she'd bought for him as a present, readily draping it over his frail form.

"Does that help, Kakashi?" she asked him once she'd finished, staring at him with a wide, expectant look. "Hey, talk to me...How are you feeling?"

When she didn't get a response, she reached out a hand and briefly cupped his warm, trembling cheek, moving to comfortingly tuck a few askew strands of hair behind his ear.

"Hm…" he grunted, with his eyes still closed, not having the heart, nor the energy to tell her that he was still very much cold.

Somehow sensing how he was feeling, Kurenai knelt down and unzipped Kakashi's luggage, quickly finding a pair of gray, fuzzy socks. Standing up, she gingerly peeled back the sheets at the end of the bed, and rolled the socks up over his bare feet, frowning at how he'd flinched in response to her touch.

Next, she proceeded to tuck the blankets into the crevices of his body, so that no heat could escape.

If that doesn't help, I don't know what else will… she thought, standing back with her hands on her hips, and observing his condition.

With crossed arms, and a petulant scowl, Gai watched as she tended to him, feeling left out, a little jealous, and even more regretful of the fact that he hadn't been there last night.

Kurenai placed a cool palm on Kakashi's forehead, checking for a fever. When she saw that there was no heat perfusing from the damp skin, she pulled back her moist hand, and wiped it on her dress.

"He doesn't have a temperature…I don't know why he's so cold, Gai…" she said quietly, confused, and unsettled by the new symptom, "I'm going to ask Tsunade-sama, or Shizune, when I get the chance."

Gai acknowledged her apprehension with brief eye contact, and then focused his gaze back on Kakashi, noticing how he was still shaking, even with the extra blanket, the socks, and after being tucked in. He had scrunched into himself further, somehow, clinging tightly to the pillow at his side, as if his life depended on it.

Noticing his continued distress, Kurenai began to rub back and forth across his quivering arm, hoping that the gesture would at least reassure him a bit, if not make him feel slightly warmer.

"You're okay, Kakashi…just go back to sleep…" she told him with a quiet, soothing tone, noticing that he'd actually begun to shiver a little less. "That's it…go to sleep…"

With the continued touch, his pained breathing started to even out, and the deep furrow in his brow gradually began to lessen, his heart rate slowing down in tandem.

Gradually, Kakashi began to relax, drifting off once more.

Although Kurenai and Gai weren't sure what the coming weeks held for their friend, in that brief moment, at least, they knew he was safe, and not in an unbearable amount of discomfort.