Chapter 92

When Darcy leads his beloved into the concert hall that evening, he cannot find his cousin in her friends' party. Worried that she may have overstrained herself that afternoon, he saunters towards the gaggle of girls and finds them indeed escorted solely by three young liveried servants, no chaperones. The girls are chatting to the exclusion of the outside world, but one of the servants, a rather sturdy chap with a friendly face, addresses him respectfully.

'Begging your pardon, Mr Darcy, for imposing on you like this, but Miss de Bourgh asked me to tell anyone of your party who enquired after her that she decided to stay with Mr and Mrs Blackwood tonight. She needed some time to order her thoughts.'

Darcy must have shown his worry clearly, and this fellow must be one of Simon's ilk, for he adds, 'Miss de Bourgh wasn't indisposed, sir, she ate really well of a dish our cook prepared at her request. She told me to assure all of you she will be a little better tomorrow and every day after that.'

He bows beautifully, he is trying to show Darcy the respect a gentleman is entitled to, which is more than Simon does for anyone. As far as Darcy knows, Simon even treated Lady Catherine like any other person. Politely, of course, but without undue deference.

'Thank you...' Darcy starts out.

'Fowler, sir. But most people call me Nick.'

'Thank you Nick. I'll tell the rest. Will you give her my best wishes?'

The man, not that much younger than Darcy himself, bows deeply.

'Of course, Mr Darcy, thank you for your kindness.'

Does the fellow presume to speak for Anne, or is he glad not to be chewed out for talking to his better? His posture suggests the latter, and Darcy acknowledges it with a nod, then walks back to their own seats. The girls haven't even spotted him. Elizabeth has told him there is something going on with those girls, and both Manners and Anne seem to know it and want to do something about it. Maybe Manners sent Anne in to save their...yes, what? It seems as if their manservant is doing an excellent job of keeping them out of trouble, he seems able enough. What can Anne do that the fellow cannot? Darcy decides to spend this concert observing them, Fielding is a handsome fellow but Darcy can look at him all day, though arguably not in this fabulous outfit.

Darcy knows Manners by now, he is a complicated man, and as such may have hatched a convoluted plan. But Anne is Darcy's cousin, and he feels guilty about what was done to her without his ever noticing something was terribly amiss. He merely ignored his poor cousin, made crude remarks about her to Fitzwilliam. It's time to make up to her.

Watching the little group of girls is not that hard, he is seated perfectly to do so unnoticed. And is Elizabeth doing exactly the same thing? It surely seems that way, not that there is anything really remarkable to be seen. The girls keep chatting until the show starts, watch the concert in stunned silence, then try to make their way to the front to talk to Eric. He recognises them and greets them with a hearty handshake. The servant, Nick, the others stay back and wait for their leader, herds his charges out of the fray before their presence becomes a nuisance. It's the first time he intervenes, he seems to have them well-trained otherwise. For it certainly looks as if he is in charge, no matter how servile he acts. Of course Anne will never stand such treatment, something strange is indeed going on, and tonight they are having the truth of it from Manners.

Back home, Eric and Georgie immediately take Eric's fee to the study, the sealed envelopes are piling up steadily, it's time for them to decide what to do with it, invest or save up. They know most available options by now, though suddenly Darcy thinks of one extra, not exactly suitable for a landed gentleman, but possibly very profitable: invest in Mr Gardiner's enterprises. Darcy is convinced Elizabeth's uncle makes a tidy profit on his business, and tradesmen are always looking for investors. Maybe he should talk to him as well, invest some of the money he has reserved for Elizabeth. Times are changing, and Mr Gardiner is very careful to keep his trade respectable.

But first, Manners. It's time for him to come clear about what he is getting Anne into, he promised to protect her, whatever is going on? Darcy wants to enjoy his trip to Newcastle, not worry about his cousin being herded towards trouble by some family-retainer.

Well, if there is one thing one can call Manners, it's observant. As soon as Georgie and Eric are out of the room, he offers, 'The confidence room? I can explain, really.'

Maybe, just maybe, Georgie and Fielding will not go straight to the piano, but Darcy won't bet on it. Still, if Manners wants to sit somewhere really secluded and especially, quiet, it's fine. Elizabeth does not wait for an invitation, though Anne is no relative of hers she did beg Elizabeth to accompany her to the doctor, a visit she turned out to dread beyond all else.

As soon as they are sitting together, Simon brings a bottle of wine and three glasses. On impulse, Darcy says calmly, 'Please stay, Simon. Maybe get yourself a glass first?'

He will be very useful to gauge this Nick's motives.

Darcy uses Simon's absence to pour wine in the three glasses, the silence in the room starting to get positively noisy. When Simon returns with a fourth glass, Darcy nods at him to fill it himself and is instantly obeyed. Suddenly regretting his lack of courtesy towards his trusted man he realises that paying someone a wage does not give him ownership of that person's dignity.

'I'm sorry, Simon. I should have asked politely. Common courtesy never hurt anyone.'

Simon throws his master and former idol a mild look, they used to be so close, and he still understands Darcy better than anyone except Elizabeth.

'I'm very glad to have a chance to drink this quality wine, sir,' he replies cheekily, taking most of the discomfort out of the situation as well as letting Darcy know he's forgiven, even before he has asked. Simon is still very fond of his master.

They toast, and Manners waits for Darcy to speak first. He can be considerate of another man's status.

'What is going on, Manners?' Darcy blurts out, 'I see things and hear things but I have no idea what to think. Is my cousin in danger? Will she be herded from concert to concert by a Blackwood retainer? I thought those girls would be excellent company for Anne?'

It's obvious Manners expected things to work out totally differently, and he carefully replies.

'I think I made a grave error of judgement, Darcy. I thought the Blackwood girls were proper, ladylike girls from an excellent family. I admit there were rumours that they were a bit wild, and I guessed Miss de Bourgh would like that, since her life has been rather the opposite so far. I thought she might enjoy herself and do a bit of spying for me, I was really curious what those girls were up to.

But now I've heard things from Simon that worry me, and yet Elizabeth tells me I cannot pull her out. It's obvious you've been watching their little group closely tonight, as have I, as, no doubt, has Elizabeth. Can you tell us what you've heard, Simon?'

'Sure, Frederick. Don't beat yourself up over it, you couldn't have known. Besides, I still doubt there is reason to worry. Nick knows those girls and he will not let them do anything really bad. But I'll tell you what he told me.'

This is a Simon Darcy has never seen before, an adult man who admonishes his partner not to make a fuss. He has truly grown because of his relationship with Manners, who is instantly moonstruck. Darcy feels the tension leave him, if Simon thinks it's not that bad, he seems to have the best information and he knows servants.

'You know I often hear things from other servants, and when those girls visited yesterday Frederick asked me to go talk with their retainer, so I did.

He seemed a bit edgy until I addressed him nicely, and then he got talkative, he was very pleased the girls liked Mr Fielding so much, it made it easy to keep them out of trouble. They usually wanted to seek more exciting entertainment, like watching a hanging, or go dancing in a lower-class establishment. When I showed an interest he described how that went about, how the girls kept the nature of their entertainments from their parents, and how he and his colleagues tried to keep the girls safe by being a kind of older brother.

They always go out one-on-one, a servant for each girl, his master hires an extra hand and the girls' friends bring their own men. Usually, they dress in livery and Nick has a nasty weapon hidden under it, I'm sure he knows how to handle a slapjack, he's a burly chap like Frederick here, only toughened on the streets. I like him. He mentioned Miss de Bourgh, said he had high hopes for her talking some sense into the girls.'

'I saw him herding them out after the concert. Imagine Anne being browbeat by a servant!'

Simon sounds a lot more respectful to Darcy than to Manners, but he does manage to make a difference between Darcy's twenty-five year old cousin and those eighteen or nineteen year old spoiled girls.

'Nick has a lot of respect for Miss de Bourgh, sir. He'd never herd her, in fact he hopes she'll lead them towards more suitable entertainment. Though I did not get the impression he disliked going to those dances or even a rancid theatre with his girls. He likes to see them enjoy themselves, and if it can be done without real risk, he will do it.'

Darcy remembers visiting a rundown carnival with Mrs Younge, it was very entertaining, he'd have taken her to any establishment she wanted, as long as there was no chance of being caught at it by his connections. These days, he'd have to fear running into the press.

'Remember that blood-soaked show in the old theatre, Elizabeth?'

'I do, it was great fun. Fitzwilliam, it doesn't sound as if Anne is in real danger, so I suggest we leave it up to her what she wants to do. You're just her cousin, you know. You're entitled to worry about her, but not to patronise her. I'm sure she will be just fine, she's an adult woman. Why don't you go see her tomorrow, Frederick, tell her what Simon told us, listen to what she has heard from the girls, then let her make an informed decision. I've let Simon teach me all about city life, so I don't see why Anne shouldn't listen to an informed servant when she wants to learn about society. She's terribly naïve, and she knows it.'

Simon nods, he agrees with Elizabeth, and Darcy is very proud of his beloved. Manners seems a lot less frantic already.

'Well, if you two say so, I cannot but have faith in your judgement and stop worrying so much. He did get those girls out at exactly the right moment, just before they made a nuisance of themselves.'

'And do not be mistaken in the trouble four or five self-assured spoiled ladies can give, Frederick,' Elizabeth adds pertly, 'it takes quite a strong will to deal with that. Remember, I have four sisters, and my father never managed to control the youngest two of them. Frankly, make that three, I'm positive I chose to behave, or maybe Jane's excellent example forced me to adapt a veneer of civilisation. London society and the press finally managed to tame me.'

'Please let that be untrue, my beloved. I love your impertinence and it would gravely disappoint me if you continued wearing the latest fashion and make-up once we're back at Pemberley.'

'I can't wait to be back on a horse astride and in breeches,' Elizabeth retorts gaily.

Darcy knows he must clearly show his anticipation, but he doesn't care. The others know he adores her, as they adore each other.

As if in some silent agreement they do not retreat to the drawing-room, not yet. They finish the bottle of wine in a close companionship that Simon can share. And though they discuss all kinds of issues, politics, art, literature, never once does Darcy feel as if Simon is not part of this little group.

Anne wakes up in her own guestroom at the Blackwood town-house. It was not that she was in pain or too tired to go out with Angelina and Sophie last night, it was just their age, and their insatiable lust for amusement, it reminded her of her own best years spent in a deathlike state. This morning she feels much better, the past is the past, today she will start working on her health, and a place in London society, either from this house or her cousin Darcy's. Marriage will probably be best, but she's not going to wait for Prince Charming to drop by. She is still prepared to make compromises, undying love is not required, respect and kindness is. Her name and fortune, as well as her status as heir to Rosings, practically guarantee an abundance of suitors, and Anne is planning to choose the one who will allow her the most freedom.

Mr Manners is still very much in the running.

She dresses quickly but carefully, her maid is used to the hours Angelina and Sophie keep, no matter, she'll need to change anyway after a brisk walk, let Dora do her other duties now and not be the wiser what her mistress does before breakfast. Maybe she should send her back to Kent, she may be a spy for maman. Servants gossip, she can ask Nick what Dora is like with her peers.

Once in the parlour, a pleasant surprise awaits her. A steaming cup of tea and a delectable treat pull her in by their lovely scent, and she can feel her stomach growl in response. Though the room is empty, there is no doubt they are meant for her, and she practically devours the light pastry with a spicy meat filling. Someone in this house already knows she is not partial to sweets, not even in the morning. The tea is also perfect, plenty of cream and no sugar.

Before she has finished the tea, Nick comes in with her coat.

'Good morning, Miss de Bourgh. I can see you slept well, and you've finished your pastry. The cook suggested you might like a light treat before exercising. He really lives for food, which is probably not surprising.'

He does not sit down but waits for her to finish her tea standing attentively, he's in livery, with a matching overcoat. Anne wonders whether he is carrying a cudgel for her protection. Surely not, they're not going to any questionable neighbourhoods, are they?'

She does not tarry but she does drink all the tea, she's thirsty, and the cream will help her gain weight quickly. As soon as she gets up Nick holds out her coat, and she lets him help her put it on. It's no more than one expects from a servant.

'I've notified the butler of our absence, Miss de Bourgh, in case you are missed. Shall we go?'

Of course he holds both doors for her, it is a lovely winter day, not frosty but dry, and the air is still relatively clear of smoke. He clearly knows where they are going, and since Anne has only seen this neighbourhood from a carriage window, she is happy to follow him.

'I thought you might like to see a few trees and breathe some fresh air, Miss, so I've taken the liberty of planning an hour's walk to a beautiful park that is rather close-by. I hope you don't mind, Miss.'

They are walking side by side, and Anne is very happy to be walking again, it feels so invigorating to be active, and the air is so clean here, almost as if she's back in the countryside.

'Of course I don't mind, Nick. I'd get lost in a minute if I tried to lead the way. I'm going to use my energy to enjoy the walk and look at the people and the houses. Do you know why the air is so much cleaner here than elsewhere in town?'

'I guess it's because there was quite a lot of wind last night, Miss. It usually stinks as bad as the rest of London. The park doesn't, though. Does it trouble you, the smell of smoke?'

'I'm not used to it, I've lived in the country all my life. But frankly, I didn't get out much, except for little rides in the neighbourhood. But they didn't help to improve my health. My problem was not with my breathing, so smoke doesn't bother me more than you or anyone else. It's part of life in a big city I guess.'

He merely nods, he's too polite to ask what did ail her. But she is going to tell him, she actually wants to, see what a total stranger thinks. Should she have stood up for herself? That question has plagued her all evening, she's twenty-five and she has an independent fortune. She could have left home any time she liked.

'I promised to tell you about my visit to the doctor yesterday, and I want to. I heard some things that shocked me, and talking about them will hopefully help me to come to terms with what happened.'

'You can tell me anything, Miss. I like spreading news, but I can keep my mouth shut if needed.'

She tells him about her visit to the doctor and of her life at Rosings. He is a good listener, he doesn't say much himself, he nods and keeps his attention on her, though they are still walking at a goodly pace.

When she gets to the last part, where the doctor answered her question, why her mother never seemed to suffer from the bloodlettings, and Anne relates his reply, Nick reacts as vehemently as the doctor did, with a heartfelt curse. Anne dares ask him why, she knows she has missed something, Elizabeth was put out as much as the doctor, and she clearly told Darcy. There must be something else, something much worse.

Nick falls silent instantly, he is clearly thinking hard and fast.

'I don't know you very well, Miss de Bourgh, so I have no idea how you will take it if I tell you what made your doctor and relatives angry. They chose not to tell you. This concerns your mother, whom you love. I'm a mere servant, I'm in your power, I don't want to be the proverbial bringer of bad news. Can't you ask Mrs Darcy?'

This must be very bad, and Anne needs to know.

'So it's something my mother did. And it's really bad, worse than letting your doctor half-kill your daughter.'

'All right, Miss de Bourgh. I cannot deny your distressed face anything, you have been through hell for ten years, you deserve to be treated fairly. Against better judgement, I will tell you, though it will be very embarrassing as well as dangerous to me for it will probably make you very angry. But you have to know, and your relatives may find it even harder to tell you this. It's a connection you couldn't have made, since you have no experience with what goes on between a man and a woman. I recommend myself to your charity.'

And with quite some effort he manages to tell Anne the horrific truth.

'While your life was trickling away into a bleeding bowl, your mother had carnal relations with the doctor. Once a week, like clockwork.'

It's true, Anne knows that instantly. Maman, with that gross man. Who bled out Anne's life, not for her health, but to satisfy his own lust. Walking on doggedly though she's gasping for breath, Anne cannot feel anger, or hurt, it's even worse than she thought, no wonder Elizabeth didn't dare tell her. How could she have? They hardly know each other. Her voice sounds dry as she forces herself to speak to her anxious attendant.

'Thank you Nick, for being honest with me. I don't think Mrs Darcy could ever have told me such a terrible thing. But I'm glad I know, I would have given my mother the benefit of the doubt, the lame excuse of being ignorant. Not now. Not anymore. I am an orphan.'

Dry-eyed and numb she looks up at the servant walking next to her. Strangely enough she is very aware of the beautiful scenery around them, they are in a lovely park, a wild park, not the cultured perfection of Rosing's Park, but a true wilderness, in the largest city in England. But Nick has no eye for the beauty around him, he's used to it, of course. He is in agony over what he feels he has done to her, when in fact it was her mother who did it. The doctor, too, but he is no relative, her mother should have protected her daughter, not sacrificed her for a chance to fornicate.

'Oh Miss, what have I done? You look like you've seen your own death! I wish I could hold you for a moment, to prove to you you are worthy of being held, of being loved. I was angry at what they did to you, Miss, but I didn't fully realise that you actually lived through all those lost years, all ten of them, day in day out. You should have been told among loved ones, who are permitted to comfort you as you have the right to be comforted.'

Frankly, Anne doesn't care. She wants to be comforted, right here and right now.

'Do it, Nick, hold me. If you dare, that is, I do not want to make trouble for you. I'd rather it was you, I couldn't stand the looks and the compassion of my relatives. This time, they're too close.'

He dares. As his strong arms close around her, she lets her head rest on his liveried chest, avoiding the brass buttons poking her cheek. He holds her firmly and even strokes her hair gently, this is good, no need to talk, just a bit of comfort for her shattered feelings. For however much Anne disliked her mother's dominant nature, and her overbearing ways, she was her mother and she did love her. But that feeling is fading rapidly.

The calm presence seemingly all around her does take some of the immediate sting out of the situation, and she starts to become aware of the man holding her. He may be a servant, but he is a man like all others, and a good deal more human than some. His breath is warm in her hair, and she can feel his chest move up and down with his breathing. Inside her, some long-neglected part of her stirs to life, though not without the sarcastic thought that her mother certainly didn't neglect that part of herself.

Anne resolutely wipes out the thought, and relishes the feeling of excitement Nick's nearness causes her. She looks up at him again, his face is calm but concerned, and rather soft.

'You're such a kind man, Nick. Will you kiss me? After all these years, I want to feel like a woman.'

He looks back at her with a sudden fire in his eyes, but his reply is as frank as he has shown himself to be.

'I'd love to kiss you, Miss, but I don't want you to get hurt even worse. Before I kiss you, I have to warn you that I've kissed a lot of women, ladies, actually. And more than just kiss them. I'm a kind man, but I'm kind to everyone, somehow women like me a lot and I've made love to many.'

'So you don't want a girl of your own, to settle with?'

He still sounds very respectful, but he has taken her into a little path between the trees, arm across her shoulder.

'No Miss. I love my job, but it takes a lot of time and dedication. I cannot see myself struggling to keep a wife and a family, have those I love live on the edge of poverty and see me only in my rare spare time, in a state of fatigue. And then go to work and see others live in opulence and indolence. I'd rather enjoy what my professional life has to offer me.

I find you very attractive, Miss, and your plight has touched me deeply. But before I can kiss you I need you to understand that though I want to give you the love you crave, I cannot be claimed. I cannot guarantee there will not be others, the opposite actually.'

Frankly, that only makes him more attractive. The feeling Anne has now, the heat, the thrill, she can so easily imagine experiencing that with other men as well. She doesn't want to be claimed either, this suits her excellently!

His voice is husky as he proves he has read her expression perfectly once again.

'Your strength surprises me, Miss, and after hearing such a terrible thing. But I can see you're different from most ladies. They generally want to bind a man to them, want him to promise to be faithful to them forever. Unless I am greatly mistaken you, Miss, see a whole new world opening before your mind's eye, and it bears a close resemblance to mine.'

By now, they have arrived in a very quiet glade in the middle of a thick patch of brush. Did he take her on this particular walk on purpose? Did he know she'd want to kiss him? Did he make her want to kiss him?

He laughs heartily, he knows women.

'I know places like this one in every part of town, as I said, I do this a lot. I even have a cosy little spot in the Blackwood mansion. None of the family know, but I may give you a tour some day. If you want to.'

Well, for now Anne only wants to know one thing.

'Do you, you know, make love to Angelina and Sophie, too?'

His abhorrence seems genuine.

'No, Miss! They're children! I could never do that with them, they are my responsibility! And the mistress is out of bounds, too. But her friends all like me very much. It's the livery, you see.'

Well, the livery is very becoming, but Anne is certain that's not it. She's never felt attracted to Darcy's valet, though he is much more handsome than Nick, and generally dressed in a livery that is better designed and cut to perfection. Almost as if it's tailored to him, actually.

No, Nick's attraction is similar to Mr Manners', it's a kind of sympathy with mankind, they are friendly to everyone regardless of stature, everyone's concern is theirs, they want to see people happy.

She lets him take her in his arms again, feeling no need to be comforted this time. And then he bends his face down to hers, he smells good, masculine but not overpoweringly so, and his lips touch hers. Anne experiences a physical shock, and a strange feeling of excitement almost overcomes her physical strength. Her knees buckle, but he is strong and she is slight. He looks at her to see whether she is still enjoying it, and she manages to whisper, 'I want this very much.'

Then he seems overcome by some form of eagerness himself, and he crushes her against his body and intensifies the kiss manifold. At first she is a bit overcome by the intimacy of it, but he tastes as good as he smells, and the softness and closeness of it are so good she gives herself up to him with all her heart.

It seems to last forever, that fabulous kiss, but even the best things in life have to come to an end. Panting a little with heat and lack of breath, Anne looks up at him. He is not unaffected, it's not as if doing this often has made him take exchanging intimacies in stride. Still in a tight embrace, she wants him to do it again, and this time she knows what to expect and is not overcome. This time she gives as good as she gets, a hand in his neck to keep him close, the other firmly around his waist, and he seems pleased by her brashness.

'Again your strength belies your appearance, my dear lady. Small wonder your new doctor praised your constitution.'

They kiss one more time, then turn back towards the path through the park. Nick is instantly back to her retainer, a proper distance between the two of them, matching his stride to hers. His face doesn't show pleasure or triumph, he is his usual self. He must do this very often, he is obviously very good at it.

But an hour's walk turns out a bit too long for Anne, when they leave the park and return to the nice part of the city where the Blackwoods live she is on her last legs with fatigue. She does not want to slow down, she wants to be strong, as strong as she used to be, running through the woods with her cousins, climbing trees and rocks they couldn't get a good hold on.

'Give it time, Miss de Bourgh, a few weeks, a month at most. Will you please take my arm? We need you in a good shape today, you may expect a visitor, Mr Manners sent word this morning to announce he would call on you this afternoon.'

And without the slightest sign of envy he adds cheekily, 'He rarely honours ladies with afternoon visits, though most ladies would love to receive him. I cannot think of a more desirable bachelor, not since your cousin got married.

Who, by the way, was rather civil to me when I presumed to give him your message last night. He did keep a very close eye on me all through the concert. I tried to keep a low profile, but I really had to keep Miss Sophie and Miss Angelina from smothering Mr Fielding with kisses. The world was watching, you know.'

'You really care about them, don't you?'

'Yes, Miss, I do. I was raised in a large family, with three younger sisters and two brothers. My parents were always busy providing, and my younger brother and I took care of our sisters and our littlest brother. I have no desire to sire children myself, but I cannot help feeling responsible for young people. Miss Angelina and Miss Sophie are polite girls, but they are used to getting their way. I do what I can to curb their enthusiasm, but if I displease them I will be replaced. They love me and allow me to keep them out of trouble, but I walk a narrow line. I'm very afraid to fail them, have one of them get hurt or shamed, but they will not stand for enjoying the usual amusements of girls in their situation in life. I'm afraid I inadvertently contributed to their constant drive for more exotic pleasures, by indulging them and merely keeping them safe.'

Hearing about someone else's cares makes it easier to bear her own, and frankly, it seems hers are over whilst Nick's may just be starting.

'When all is said and done, Nick, you know they are not your responsibility, do you? Their parents should really keep a closer eye on them.'

'But they trust me to notify them when their daughters do things they shouldn't. Yet if I do, those girls will have me fired, and if their parents find out what I have already allowed them to do, I'm certain I will not get any references. So I keep walking the line, trying to dissuade them from the most outrageous enterprises, checking them and their friends with the help of the other staff. Their infatuation with Mr Fielding has given me some respite, and I am not above begging you to not agree to their more absurd schemes.'

'No need to beg, Nick, I like them, too, and I do not want to see them shamed. Their exploits are not as unnoticed as they think, you know. I'd almost say they need a husband.'

Poor Nick, he seems really upset hearing they have been seen. He is in a difficult position, Anne understands that perfectly. The taste of his kiss lingers in her mouth, and she can still feel the moist softness of his tongue, the solid mass of his chest against her slight form. Well, despite Nick's suggestive comments, Anne thinks she knows why Mr Manners is coming to visit her. Darcy must have seen something he disliked when he was keeping an eye on Nick and his girls yesterday evening. Anne knows how protective Darcy can be of those he loves, which means he loves her, and though not as she once hoped, it's very encouraging that he does. If she has lost a mother, at least she has gained the love of both her cousins and her uncle.

Since she is holding Nick's arm to support her, it's not very strange to put her free hand on his arm as well, in a reassuring gesture. She can even use the extra support, since she is very tired indeed. A small squeeze has him looking at her, and she decides to tell him the truth.

'Mr Manners is not coming to woo me, Nick. He introduced me to Sophie and Angelina because there had been rumours that he wanted me to look into.'

'He sent you as a spy? Mr Manners? Oh my god, I'm done for. If he finds out where we've been I'll never find another job.'

'He will not hold you responsible, Nick. I'm his source of information, and the girls have told me they think up these mad plans themselves, and trust to you to make them possible. I will not let you be blamed. Do you want to talk to him yourself? He may have an idea of how to stop this, how to turn things around.'

'What does Mr Manners care about a lowly manservant? People say he is on intimate footing with the King!'

Servants really gossip too much.

'I'm reasonably sure that is not true, Nick, and Mr Manners is a very friendly man, who heard a rumour and decided to investigate first, not cry wolf. Though some might rightfully say this is none of his business.'

By now, Anne starts to recognise the neighbourhood, they are nearly returned to the house.

'Don't upset yourself about Mr Manners and rumours, Nick. I'm pretty sure we'll find a solution that will make your life easier and still keep those girls amused. And thank you for the kisses, they were wonderful.'

'I will do anything you want, Miss de Bourgh, if only you can keep me from becoming the scapegoat when this all gets out.'

Another squeeze, they are almost at the door by now, but Anne really needs the support of a strong arm, so she just leaves her hand where it is.

'Do try to stop worrying so much, Nick. Mr Manners is the most subtle man I know, and I don't even know him that well. Sophie and Angelina are just girls, he'll outthink them with no-one the wiser.'

He is so distraught he doesn't even hear her say something really absurd, though Anne is truly convinced that Mr Manners is even more complicated than she realises. If Anne can convince him that Nick is a victim of his dependency on the Blackwood establishment, Mr Manners will help the poor man.

Anne does not have to exaggerate her fatigue to give herself an excuse to cling to a manservant, she is totally exhausted, and the butler does not spare the two of them together a second glance. He lets Nick take her coat, but finally seeing the state Anne is in he offers to take it from his colleague.

'You support Miss de Bourgh into the breakfast-parlour, Fowler, or better yet, help her to her room to take a breather before the master sees her, you should know better than to let a young lady walk herself to exhaustion.'

What? Is that how things work in this household? No wonder poor Nick is deadly afraid the girls' escapades will come out. She will straighten that out right away, sounding at her haughtiest.

'The young lady would prefer not to be treated like a child, Wellesley,' she says, 'I asked Fowler to accompany me on a walk my doctor proscribed me, and he was kind enough to help me return when I misjudged my strength.'

And, knowing the butler usually is the highest ranking member of a town staff, not wanting him to vent his disgruntlement on Nick, she refrains from being much kinder to the latter, rather addressing him as formally.

'But Wellesley is right, Fowler, I'd better not stumble into the presence of your master and mistress looking grey with fatigue. They may see things differently than myself, and I'm merely visiting. Will you take me to my room? I need to change anyway, and let Dora do my hair.'

'I'm sorry, Miss de Bourgh,' the butler says, 'I overstepped myself. Please forgive me, for a moment there you looked in a really bad way.'

'Please don't mention it, Wellesley. I may be a bit overinclined to feel patronised. If you forgive me, I'll forgive you. Agreed?'

'Yes, Miss. Thank you, Miss.'

The butler bows and leaves with her coat, and Nick lets out an audible sigh of relief.

'You're not too bad a hand yourself at subtleties, Miss. I really thought I was in for it, but now he'll most likely let me get away unscathed. Wellesley does not like my influence with the girls, Miss, nor my popularity with other highborn ladies. He's waiting for me to slip.

Do you want me to carry you upstairs, Miss? I can do that easily, you know, I'm very strong.'

Anne doesn't doubt he is, but she likes to keep whatever dignity she has left after missing her mother's sin and misjudging her walk so badly. Better shorten it for tomorrow, she's not up to an hour yet, not at the pace she wants to keep.

'I've had a few moments to catch my breath, Nick, I'll be fine with your arm for support. I'm sorry I almost got you in trouble. Tell me if he pesters you with it, I'll talk to Mr Blackwood to exonerate you.'

Mr Blackwood likes Anne, as does Mrs Blackwood, when she notices any of the girls. Anne suspects the lady of the house of having a slight problem with spirits, she's often very distracted and drinks wine surreptitiously, from an early hour. Sophie and Angelina know, but they do not mind very much, since their mother's negligence affords them a lot of freedom.

'Will you be all right, Miss?'

Nick has helped Anne right into her own bedroom, where she sits down in an easy chair with obvious relief.

'Yes, Nick, I'll be fine. I've been tired like this more often than not, and I'm very glad I have to walk for an hour nowadays to reach this state of exhaustion. A month ago I got up like this and went to bed like this, and while the servants probably wouldn't have let me burn in my bed, none offered to assist either. Except my own lady, but she treated me like a child in return.

Will you send Dora up, please? And before you go please tell me, do you think she reports to my mother? I guess you see her all the time, she probably likes you. I need to know, for if she does I need to send her back to Kent.'

'I haven't talked to Dora much, Miss, she's really shy. I do think she is very loyal to you, not to your mother. I will find out for you, Miss, get her to talk to me. Will we go out again tomorrow?'

'Yes, please, Nick! I need to exercise, maybe less than an hour, but I really need it. And I liked having you along, and not just for, well you know what. I like to talk, too, I want to hear more about your youth, and where your siblings ended up.'

He bows deeply, and retreats from her room, turning towards her one last time.

'I'll send Dora, and have Wellesley plan a walk with you into my work schedule for tomorrow morning.'

Another bow, and he is gone.

She kissed a man without being married to him. And still she is not dying of shame, on the contrary, she wants more, and soon. Examining her feelings, she has to conclude that though she likes Nick more than she ever thought she could like a servant, she is not infatuated with him. His easy assurance that he sleeps with a lot of different women, preferable noble ones, and has no wish to marry and have children, does not hurt her. It doesn't even shock her.

Instead, she tries to remember that moment in the little patch of brush, and finds the memory very vivid indeed.

A knock on the door pulls her out of her thoughts, and she gives Dora permission to enter. Fifteen minutes later she is dressed for company, and her hair is done up beautifully instead of practically. Anne is overjoyed to find her body recuperated from the morning's fatigue, she can get up easily without feeling dizzy, and she almost skips down the staircase to join the family at the breakfast table.