Gai sat on Kakashi's dining table with a plate of cold food in front of him, a deep frown adorning his features. It was well into the afternoon, and Kakashi had failed to get up.

This had been happening consecutively throughout the week, and although it wasn't entirely unusual, relative to everyone else's behavior, he knew that for his rival, it was an abnormal occurrence.

Sighing, he padded to the bedroom once more, willing himself to become more patient, as this was the fifth time he'd attempted to wake the man up.

However, as he came closer, he began to notice that the Hatake was rather pale, with a sheen of sweat coating his forehead.

"Kakashi?" Gai began worriedly, jostling his shoulders harder than he'd intended to, "Kakashi, wake up!"

In his sleep, he was breathing erratically, and murmuring words incoherently, his brows furrowed as his head subconsciously shook from side to side. Gai paled, wondering if he was in pain, because from the looks of it, Kakashi seemed like he was in a great amount of discomfort.

He shook him again, taken aback in shock when his friend shot up and looked around with wide, flitting eyes, his back heaving up and down to accommodate his heavy breathing.

"Kakashi?" Gai spoke worriedly, placing a palm on his trembling shoulders, "Are you okay? Are you in pain?"

The said man shook his head with an audible gulp, shrugging away from his touch. "N-no. Just a bad dream."

Kakashi discreetly put a hand to his chest, desperately trying to slow his breathing. "I have to pee," he said suddenly.

The bed creaked as the Hatake slowly slid off, his hand sliding around one of the posts as he pushed himself up. He stumbled to the restroom, his heart fluttering with that all too familiar panic.

Gai watched confusedly, wondering just what his friend's dream must've been to scare him so badly. When the bathroom door closed in his face, he stood next to it in silence, dread putting his stomach into knots.

Kakashi placed his palms on the sink, trying his absolute hardest to calm down. However, no matter what he did, all he could think of was the flames engulfing his mottled corpse, and the heart wrenching cries that followed his cremation.

Sweat dripped down his visage, the rate of his breathing increasing by the second, until he felt as if there was absolutely no way he could bring it back to normal. In the back of his head, he knew he was just hyperventilating in response to a nightmare, but at that moment, he thought he was dying.

That was exactly when he realized that there was no way he could entertain a relationship in his current state. As much as he wanted to cling onto something that would make him so happy, he knew he was nearing his end, and couldn't do that to Shizune.

"Kakashi?" Gai questioned anxiously once a few minutes had passed, hearing faint sounds of choking and sputtering, "Are you alright? Ok, I'm coming in!"

He was met with the sight of Kakashi sitting on the edge of the tub, his hands grabbing at his heaving throat, his eyes glazed over and distant. Cursing audibly, Gai leaped forward, prying his tremulous fingers away from his neck.

Kakashi fought him, the spaces between his inhales and exhales becoming smaller and smaller, a feeling of desperation stemming from the feeling of not wanting to be touched.

"Calm down," Gai coaxed, gripping both sides of the Hatake's face, "Just breathe...just breathe.."

Blinking in recognition, Kakashi tried to actively slow his breathing, gulping as he realized his worst nightmares had come true. Someone had seen him in his most vulnerable state.

"P-please...let go," the Hakake stuttered between rapid breaths, refusing to make eye contact, "I'm sorry...j-just give me a minute."

"Don't apologize," Gai told him, brows furrowed dramatically, "Calm down. Breathe."

Panic bloomed anew in Kakashi's chest, his heart pounding against his ribcage.

"I-I don't...I don't," he brought out with difficulty, shaking like a leaf, "I don't want to die..."

He clutched the front of his shirt, struggling to bring air into his lungs.

Gai's face fell, his eyes glistening with empathy. What could he tell Kakashi now? He couldn't lie to him and say that he just needed to hold on, and that he was strong enough to survive. Things were different now.

He stared at the copy nin quietly, his lips parted as if he was going to say something.

A subtle tremor overtook Kakashi as he noticed Gai's silence—he began to shiver, although he wasn't cold. His gaze became pained, his body suddenly wracking with panicked sobs.

The Hatake stumbled toward the door, quickly quieting himself, his vision blurred with tears that hadn't fallen yet. He just wanted to go back to bed.

"Wait!" Gai called after him, feeling guilty, although he still really didn't know what to say.

Kakashi got into bed, feeling stiff, still struggling to catch his breath. He turned away from his friend, burying himself under the blanket.

"Kakashi…"

"Go away."

Gai's face twisted with hurt at his cold tone.

"Look...I'm sorry that you have cancer," he started roughly, keeping in mind that he still had to be there for him,"I-it sucks! And I can't even begin to imagine how shitty it feels...But you can't live with the fear of dying, Kakashi! It'll make you miserable!"

The man shifted uncomfortably in the bed, squinting his eyes tightly as his breath started to quicken again. Gai wasn't helping him at all. He didn't get it.

"G-go…" he choked out, hiding his whole form under the covers, "Please go."

Gai stood by his bedside for a few moments, feeling like a piece of crap for not being there for him properly. Lowering his eyes, he started to leave the room, aware that he was being of no help.

Kakashi slid out of his window and straight down three stories, keeping his feet slightly above the ground with chakra as he descended. His heels hitched themselves up against gravity before he landed, a few inches away from cracking on the cement.

It was 8:00 at night, and he wanted to train. He'd been stuck in his room all day, avoiding Gai, and dodging the meals that he came to place on his nightstand. He was frustrated. Angered even.

Gai didn't know how to talk about the fact that Kakashi was dying. And that pissed him off greatly, because he needed at least one person who he could speak to about his impending death.

Maybe he'd just have to deal with it alone.

The Hatake hurried towards the training grounds, adrenaline pumping through his veins at the thought of being able to apply his skills for the first time in months. A wind nipped at the sleeves of his sweatshirt, and the air was bitingly cold, but he didn't care.

His feet brought him there within minutes. Looking around as he walked further inside, he saw that a lone figure was training, only they were several spaces away, and he couldn't really make them out that well.

Sighing, he began to wrap his hands, having a desire to punch something as hard as he could. He steadily walked to the tree after he was done, his fists trembling with anticipation. Without warning, he jolted forward, pummeling the trunk with a power he didn't know he had.

He felt his anger sizzle and pop as he repeatedly pounded the rough bark, never wearing out. Kakashi continued on until he felt a sharp pain in both of his hands, quickly finding that his bandages had become bloodied and red. Pausing, he began to remove them from his fists, biting his lip at the stinging sensation.

Looking down at his trembling arms, he saw that his knuckles were badly bruised, a mixture of green and purple, with deep, circular wounds on the parts of his hands that he'd used to punch the tree. Clicking his tongue in annoyance, he wiped his bloodied hand with the relatively clean parts of the soiled bandage that he was training with earlier.

Kakashi felt less upset, but he needed more than that to feel completely resolved. Making a few familiar signs with his fingers, he surprisingly began to procure a cascade of icy, blue electricity from his palms.

"Chidori!"

Unbeknownst to him, the figure that had been training turned to look, having heard something that sounded like a hundred birds chirping at once.

Charging at the poor tree, Kakashi cried out, smashing his gushing ball of lightning into the thick wood. The trunk cracked and splintered, splitting violently at the impact. Chunks of wood tore into the grass, and the tall trunk moaned as it tilted to the side, falling to the ground with a deafening thud.

Kakashi stumbled backwards, feeling as if there was an earthquake that had made him lose his balance. It seemed like his palms were singed, and he was breathing heavily, suddenly exhausted. The ninja on the other side of the training grounds was now looking directly at the Hatake, and had begun heading there, a blurred green color.

The ailing man felt himself drop to his knees, hugging his torso with aching hands as the cold overwhelmed his body. He felt lightheaded and weak, and that made sense, as he hadn't eaten that whole day, and then proceeded to expend huge amounts of non existent energy. A nauseous sensation brewed in his gut, paling his visage to an ashy green tint.

Gripping the grass on his left side, Kakashi turned to throw up, his mouth salivating grossly as he pulled down his mask. He retched onto the ground, gasping in pain as he strained his stomach muscles with the awkward position on the ground.

When he was done, he let himself collapse backward, not possessing the strength to drag himself back home, at least at the current moment. He soon became numb to the frigid temperature, his eyes fluttering closed, consciousness drifting.

Rock Lee arrived at the scene a few minutes after having seen the tree fall, his pace quickening when he saw the angry man collapse suddenly. Sprinting towards him, the genin realized that it was Kakashi-sensei who he'd seen before, and that he was now out cold on the ground.

"Kakashi-sensei!" The boy yelled as he got on his knees, his face turned downward into a blatant frown. The man was a ghastly white, his breathing shallow and wet.

Noticing Kakashi's swollen, bleeding knuckles, Rock Lee gently picked up one of his tremulous hands, examining it with a pained look. Flinching at the stinging touch, Kakashi cracked an eye open, squirming away slightly.

"Kakashi-Sensei?!" Rock Lee started again, carefully putting down his wounded appendage, "Are you okay? Do you need help?"

"I need to...get up," he responded after a few long moments of quiet, feeling the kid bore a hole into him with his worry. He was just like Gai.

"What happened!" Lee asked him loudly, placing a hand on his shoulders to help him peel his back off the ground. They got up slowly, the teen making sure to let Kakashi take his time. He could tell that moving was hard for the adult, and that only made him wonder about his question even more.

"Oh, nothing," Kakashi grunted, readily getting used to the standing position, but not adjusting as quickly to the way that Lee had taken his arm and wrapped it over his own shoulders for support, "I trained too much."

The rest of the trip was silent, except for when the genin felt the need to commend Kakashi for his "fiery will to train and grow stronger", never getting a response back. They did stop a few times, as Kakashi often needed moments to catch his quickened breath, or abate his nausea.

In the middle of a dark, empty street, Kakashi paused abruptly, unraveling himself from Rock Lee's tight grasp on his forearm. Feeling bile in the back of his throat, Kakashi staggered to the brick wall adjacent to him, resting one hand on the enclosure while the other clutched his shirt in a sign of weakness. He heaved up stomach acid repeatedly, feeling thick phlegm rising up his throat at the act of coughing and gagging.

For once, Lee didn't talk, his wide orbs glowing with concern, as he'd never seen Gai-sensei's eternal rival look so seriously ill. He observed how Kakashi's hacks were from deep within his chest and how alarmingly wet they were, coming to the conclusion that the freezing weather might be affecting him.

Before the man could collapse in the street as well, Lee came over and hooked his limp arm around his neck once more, feeling the urgency penetrating the atmosphere.

Kakashi felt himself being ushered through a door. He vaguely heard worried voices, but didn't feel present enough to discern what they were saying. His breathing was thready and weak, and he didn't think he would be able to stay afoot for much longer.

"What the hell happened, Lee?! He's bleeding!"

"He was training, a-and after using the chidori, the tree fell and he fainted!"

With a stifled release of breath, his trembling legs gave out, vision blurring dramatically as he fell forward and out of Lee's hold. His body made rough contact with the wooden floor, his cheekbone colliding against the ground. He groaned incoherently, his face twisted into a pained expression.

Kakashi heard panicky cursing through his ringing ears, feeling himself being hoisted up into someone's arms. Barely conscious, he didn't fully register that he was being carried.

He was unmoving in Gai's hold, worryingly silent.

"Just hang in there, my rival. I know you're tired."

Familiar, gentle hands placed him in his bed, covering his cold, shivering form with his comforter, and then another blanket that Kurenai had gifted him months ago. He sighed into the mattress, his back relaxing with a slight popping sound. Wincing, Kakashi felt his bruised hands being lifted up to be examined, hearing someone click their tongue at the extent of his injury.

His droopy eyes closing, he focused on his uneven breathing, trying to push back his nausea, and counter the uncomfortable lightheaded-ness he was experiencing.

For a few minutes, everything went black. Then Gai re-entered the room with a steaming bowl of miso soup, shaking his shoulder to wake him up. Kakashi gasped into some solace of lucidity, his chest rapidly rising up and down, lungs drawing in sticky, painful breaths with each miserable exhale that they let out.

"Hey," Gai started guiltily, rubbing Kakashi's arm comfortingly, looking straight into his steely, unfocused gaze, "You're not doing so well...we might need to go back to the hospital."

Kakashi shook his head desperately, letting out a tiny, sniveling noise that sounded somewhat like a whimper. Glancing down, he noticed that his hands were cleaned and bandaged, but he didn't remember when that had happened.

"...depending on how you are in the morning," Gai added hastily, noticing how stressed he'd made his friend with the idea of going back. Turning to Lee, who was sitting on the floor behind him patiently, Gai told him it was okay to leave, quietly thanking him for all of his help with a forced smile.

"You made miso soup…" Kakashi whispered, his voice cracking. His eyes had gotten slightly wider with interest, because the meal was one of his favorites, and for once, he felt his stomach rumbling with hunger.

Gai pulled his mask down without asking, bringing a piping hot spoon to his mouth. Kakashi slurped it eagerly, the hot liquid thoroughly soothing his scratchy throat upon contact.

Sighing as he chewed the juicy meat in the broth, Kakashi remembered his fight with Gai, not nearly as angry as he'd been before. Looking at how he was taking care of him, the Hatake realized that he did support him in his own way, and would probably always be there, more than anyone else.

He accepted another spoon silently, pondering on whether or not he should strike up a conversation, and finally try to put an end to their day long feud.

"I'm sorry, Kakashi," Gai said before he could, looking at his downcast reflection in the bowl of soup, before staring back at him dolefully, "I was being a bad friend earlier."

Disagreeing, Kakashi shook his head weakly. "Don't apologize. It's okay if you don't understand my feelings."

"I was being insensitive…and I didn't know what to s—"

"You've always been there, Gai, since the beginning," he interrupted softly, feeling sleepy and somewhat content, "You're a good person... Thank you for everything."

He didn't want his bushy-browed friend to hurt anymore, and if he was quite honest, he didn't have the strength to hold onto such a draining emotion. Also that was some damn good soup.

Gai's mouth stretched into a wide smile, his eyes glossing over with both relief, and memories of his childhood rivalry with Kakashi.

a/n: as always, leave reviews! I'm very excited to post in the future, I've already started writing the ending of this story. btw, there's a little more to go before the ending just lyk. this story sucks but it means a lot to me! I started it in ninth grade, and now I'm in college. I have to finish it, or else imma always be thinking about it. will post soon :)