Chapter 97

Their last night in London for quite some time is very enjoyable. Darcy can't even regret the unfortunate incident of this morning, for it has cleared the air like nothing else. And it hasn't just removed that shade of distrust he still felt towards Manners, no matter how much he liked him, it has also done wonders for Bingley and Jane. For they had indeed fallen out over what happened, the men had never told Jane about the hour Manners spent with Miss Bingley, telling her about Grenfell's misdeeds and personal weaknesses. She still thought they were going to lure Caroline into a doomed marriage unknowingly. Of course most of them still think the others are deluding themselves over the chance for happiness such a marriage entails, but frankly that is none of their business. If Miss Bingley wants to marry a rapist, as Georgie summed up so bluntly, she's welcome to him.

And Elizabeth described how Bingley and Jane fell into each other's arms, kissed and made up. Even the description was enough to put tears in his eyes, but that may have been because seeing Elizabeth totally distraught that morning tore him up inside, and it will take some time to blot that image out of his mind.

But now they're on their way to an obscure little hall with Georgie, Manners and uncle Spencer. Eric left right after lunch, and Fitzwilliam refused, he prefers to go to the officers' club. Maybe Darcy does, too, this will be boring. But Fielding needs his patron to be there, and his future brother-in-law has proven himself again this morning, so Darcy will make himself agreeable for his benefit.

To think that Manners took Fielding to Grenfell's place to entertain his friends. With ladies of sin! It's funny now, but Darcy is certain Fielding must have been shocked at the time, he was even more naïve than Elizabeth despite having gone to school. Well, both of them may exceed Darcy in worldly experience by now, and Darcy is not sorry, he infinitely prefers life in the country.

'You haven't invited me to enjoy a ride behind your thoroughbreds, Darcy,' Manners observes.

'You're not still mad at me, are you?'

His eyes sparkle, he sure got over his fright quickly. Elizabeth is still rather withdrawn, shaken by the morning's events, when a rift between Manners and their family seemed inescapable. Her obvious attachment to Manners is almost enough to make him slightly envious, but jealousy of Manners is truly the limit. Wait a second, that should give Darcy an insight in the nature of his jealousy. Maybe it's not aimed at romantic love, they're married after all, and he knows she loves him. Maybe Darcy is just jealous of her affections towards anyone who may be more interesting than himself. He knows he is a handsome man, and physically attractive to Elizabeth. But he also knows she is highly intelligent, and as easily bored as her father. Suppose he fears she'll get tired of him?

'No, I love you like a brother. I just want to keep my carriage tidy. If you wet yourself in fear, you'll ruin the seats of Elizabeth's beautiful carriage.'

Manners laughs heartily, but he looks hungry, he wants their friendship so badly, Darcy never realised that. He thought Manners merely tolerated them, to be close to Simon. But it seems he truly loves them, enough to plead for forgiveness in a most poignant way.

'Anne seemed to have enjoyed her ride tremendously, Darcy,' his uncle observes.

'Her cheeks were blushing, and she looked so happy, despite having heard those terrible things of her mother. My dear sister won't know what is happening come Saturday, I'm almost looking forward to it.'

'Frankly, uncle, Anne was like that before we left. Blushing, excited. And her night hadn't been particularly quiet either. I guess she thrives on excitement, as she used to when we were children.'

Now why does Manners look like a cat in the cream? Another plot? Well, Darcy will get the truth of it, this is his cousin they're talking about and she is just starting to enjoy life. She is not a pawn for Manners to play with.

'I'm afraid we don't have time to make you weep with fear before we leave tomorrow, Manners. But I think we'll keep the team in town until we move to Pemberley, so there will plenty of time for a nice little ride before that. And then we'll chase the clouds over the hills of Derbyshire, I can't wait to show you the sights. Will you come shooting or fishing for a few weeks, uncle? I've invited Elizabeth's uncle and father, they're great company. Mr Bennet is a real outdoorsman, with even sharper wit than Elizabeth, and his brother-in-law is city born and raised, and very mild and well-informed. We won't have a dull moment.'

'I haven't left home for a long time, Darcy. But this trip was a great start, and I've missed Pemberley. We used to have some good times there, when Alice and Anne and your father were still alive. You know your father's steward and his wife often joined us, and it was less awkward than you might think, in some ways. Of course Catherine didn't approve but we didn't miss her much, she already tended to rule the conversation back then. We often pitied poor Lewis, though he was happy enough with his little daughter. Little Anne was such a doll, and the only girl among the children for years.

You know, I'll see what I can do, you still have Reynolds keeping house, don't you? There'll be at least one familiar face, and someone who remembers Alice.'

'I remember aunt Alice well, uncle. She was so nice, she understood boys so well. She never warned us to be safe, she knew boys had to do some wild and foolish things, like playing with knives and stoking fires. Not that Anne didn't do her share of tomfoolery. She reminded me of her old self this morning, except she is obviously a woman now.'

Elizabeth is enjoying the conversation, and uncle Spencer gives her a significant look as he mentions the steward joining them in the evenings. Maybe they discussed Wickham before, Fitzwilliam and his uncle and the Colonel, that's almost inevitable, since they got him his commission. She does not speak much, though, and uncle Spencer does seem to find that odd and a bit disappointing. Since Bob has the night off to take leave of Fanny's parents, she is coming with them despite the discomfort, they are all sharing Manners' carriage. Well, Elizabeth and Georgie might as well not be there, they're slim and quiet, and while Manners is a large man, uncle Spencer is built on a slimmer scale than aunt Catherine.

The hall is older, smaller and less busy outside than the usual venue where Eric plays. The place is lovely though, it may be an old building but it's perfectly preserved. It seems some kind of academy, with magnificent large hallways clad in aged cream-coloured marble, high ceilings beautifully lighted, and stately doors with intricate carvings. There are many doors, and some of them are open, revealing large spaces like classrooms in a school, but mostly without the furnishings expected in those; no chairs, no tables. These rooms have easels with paintings, carvings in various stages of progress, and all kinds of instruments being played or polished or tuned. Apparently, artists of any kind can rent these rooms to practise with others of the same discipline.

The lecture is to take place in the most beautiful room of the building, a large library with a painted-glass ceiling at least two stories up. The books are displayed in cases from top to bottom, with large wooden ladders to access the top shelves, and a balcony all around the first floor to access the books on that level. And ladders on that floor as well. The librarian is probably in his prime and certainly has no fear of heights.

The middle space is large, the floor is plain wood dark with age. There are seats lined up, no more than forty is his guess, facing a raised floor with a beautiful piano and an elaborately carved lectern.

Eric is playing for a very select audience of six members of the music club, to kill time, for it's not Renaissance music at all. It's the latest addition to his own work, and it sounds just perfect in this rather unexpected place. Darcy would expect a library to be totally unsuitable for a recitation, but of course Mr Goodfellow is a connoisseur, he would not hire a place riddled with echoes.

The introductions take a very long time, but it is very interesting to finally meet the people who have made Fielding come to life musically. Elizabeth is her usual charming self, and only those who love her will notice her heart is not truly in it, she's still upset over their near falling out with Manners this morning.

It's a treat to see Fielding with people who don't admire him mindlessly, but who value his talent and expand his mind. They're not as adverse to young ladies as Fielding seemed to think, chatting with Georgiana with eagerness. She is looking her best tonight, Darcy can't help noticing with some brotherly pride. When they take their places, Elizabeth is back at his side, and Manners begs her to be allowed to sit on her other side. She takes his hand and squeezes it familiarly.

'Of course you may, Frederick. As long as you don't expect me to say anything sensible about Renaissance music, and promise to kick me if I fall asleep.'

He bows and smiles whimsically. 'I promise.'

Good, he feels it. That means Darcy won't have to rub it in. Poor Elizabeth. And he can't sympathise with her, for then she'd surely cry and she would hate showing weakness in public. Fortunately, the audience is arriving and they can watch people going by. It's a distinctive advantage to have Manners close for he knows absolutely everyone, and has an anecdote or interesting fact to relate besides. As the seats fill up, Manners starts to look positively gleeful, Mr Goodfellow may be a scruffy little commoner, but his audience most certainly isn't. Darcy's uncle is spotted by several other men of his age, and acquaintances are renewed with broad smiles and hearty slaps on backs and knees as they chat as lively as Anne's friends.

Darcy sees two ladies whom he knows he should recognise, accompanied by a distinguished gentleman who looks positively ancient. He is pointed towards a single easy chair, though the chairs aren't bad at all in this library. Ancient, but comfortable.

'Aren't those the Queen's ladies, Frederick?' Elizabeth asks. That's it, he should have known, they were introduced!

'Yes, they are, and the old fellow is the chancellor. How does Goodfellow do it? I'll introduce you later, I know him. If Goodfellow doesn't send them all to sleep this will be a triumph without compare for Fielding. Even if he does, they'll thank Fielding for waking them up with some music! I can sense a Royal audience taking shape for our dear friend.'

Then the lecture starts. Mr Goodfellow has a fine, strong voice, and he is an excellent speaker. But he knows so many facts about early Renaissance music, and late Renaissance music, that Darcy's head soon starts to spin with dates and Italian terms and sources. Then it's Fielding's turn, and he quickly captivates this audience with the music Darcy has heard him play for weeks now. He plays ten minutes, and after the applause he explains the difference between a modern piano and its equivalent in those days, then relates how he has adapted the music. His voice is as clearly accented and as sophisticated as Mr Goodfellow's.

Fielding steps down and the lecture continues, more facts, more dates, more terms, and then, more Fielding. He plays for another half hour, Mr Goodfellow introducing each separate piece. Then Darcy can see two men walking in from the back of the library, carrying a harpsichord. They place it on the dais, opposite the piano. But Fielding doesn't take his place at the little instrument, he remains exactly where he is, as Mr Goodfellow introduces his special guest of the night, Miss Georgiana Darcy. Georgie? She is going to play in public? In front of the Queen's ladies-in-waiting and a chancellor? And every music adept in London? Talk about ambition.

She doesn't seem nervous at all, and slowly glides towards the little dais. As she sits down at the keyboard of the harpsichord, Darcy realises the two pianists face each other. They smile with infatuation, and Georgie's smile seems real, not pure nerves. No wonder she was quiet in the carriage!

With iron self control, she plays a variegated scale, always good for few open mouthed stares, and then she speaks! She speaks in public, with a clear and articulated voice.

'Of course harpsichord and modern pianoforte have never been heard together, not in the Renaissance. But musicians often played harmonies on two harpsichords, and we are going to try to reconstruct what that may have sounded like. Whereas all the other pieces played tonight were originals, carefully reconstructed from old music sheets by Mr Fielding, this piece was written by him in the Renaissance style. Please enjoy!'

She starts with the intro, Darcy can't believe she is so cool about it, his little sister, who used to be called haughty because she was afraid to speak. Then Fielding joins in and thinking is no longer possible. There is only music, incredibly complicated, but that seems mostly his part, the harpsichord forms a sweet central theme around which the blusterous piano winds its fuller melody. It's very clearly the male, trying to impress his dainty beloved.

Darcy recognises the melody, they have been practising this on the two instruments, but separately.

And then Fielding crushes the audience by raising his voice in song, in a language Darcy does not know, but guesses is Italian by the sound of it. He should sing more often, it's hard to imagine he chose the piano over his magnificent voice.

By the time Georgiana starts her counterpoint in her still-girlish voice, nobody has any surprise left in them. They all merely relish this unique experience, the performers' love made tangible, the depth of it enough to cause a twinge of envy in all those who are not so lucky as to have found their true love. Then it's over, and a deep silence falls.

'Mr Fielding and Miss Darcy!' Mr Goodfellow exclaims in a thick voice.

The applause is deafening.

After the concert Darcy's real work starts. He talks to everyone and anyone, Manners supplying him with names and ranks, he was right, this has made Fielding's name among those who matter. Mr Goodfellow's ability to reach people of rank is amazing. Worrying about Elizabeth, he notices with relief that uncle Spencer has taken her under his wing, introducing her to his acquaintance, and also, engaging her in a little head-to-head in the middle of the seating area. Her former beaten attitude is gone, she is all ears over what his uncle is telling her. He feels his jealousy stirring, but his mind can now reason that an old man is no competition for him, this must be some other feeling, though as contemptible and weak as jealousy. But there is no time to dwell on it, for now Manners is greeting Lady Harrington as familiarly as he did before.

'I do prefer you in your usual attire, Frederick, those muted colours somehow fit your physique much better than bright ones. You are smart and serious, and we love you for it.'

'Thank you, Jane, I'm glad we agree on the subject of colours. I hate wearing them. How did you like the evening's entertainment?'

'I cried like a baby, Frederick. That man has the voice of an angel, and Miss Darcy is an angel. Though I didn't understand a word of what they sang, I was brought back instantly to the time when I was still so much in love myself. Oh, to be young and convinced there is but one true love.'

The chancellor and the other lady, dressed in blue once again, are talking to Fielding and Georgie, and Elizabeth is still with uncle Spencer, but talking to Mr Goodfellow by now. People are already leaving in small groups, another half hour and they will be ready to leave as well.

In the carriage, Darcy asks Elizabeth curiously, 'What was uncle Spencer telling you just now, Elizabeth?'

She smiles fondly, and replies, 'He told me about the shocking things he had done as a student, love. They were quite bad. I'm quite sure you never did anything like that, fortunately.'

Her low mood seems to have miraculously improved, making Darcy very happy, and eager to be home.

Having heard about the turnabout in the servants' quarters of the Blackwood mansion, Maria and Leonora are eager to accept an invitation for a sleepover with their friends. The new butler is a temporary help, elderly and kind, and Sophie and Angelina discover their friends didn't want to come over anymore because their maids were afraid to stay anywhere near Wellesley. Besides, the twins expect the offending butler to be hauled in any day now, in chains, to be sued by Mr Blackwood for molesting their favourite servant. They hope he will hang for it, but deportation to His Majesty's penal colony will be fine, too. Imagine the excitement that will bring, their friends are eager to partake in that joy, even if going out would be more fun. Still, Sophie and Angelina refuse to leave the house without Nick, and the other girls' parents aren't as eager to let them go either, without the sturdy Blackwood retainer leading the expedition.

Anne loves being part of this little group, even without brothers and cousins they play and sing very pleasantly and dance with each other, teaching Anne new steps, also explaining the signals the young people use to let one another know they are interested in dancing together. Or other things. This last said with plenty of giggles. She supposes they mean kissing. The scheme to visit the army camp is greeted with enthusiasm, and Anne describes the mad ride with Mr Darcy's thoroughbreds for the third time.

With great pleasure Anne offers to sleep in her own room so the girls can share the one large bedroom, resolved to wait until the girls are done chatting before she joins Nick in his tiny servant's cubicle. But girls can chat for a very long time, and by the time the happy sounds from their room cease, Anne has succumbed to fatigue and is fast asleep.

To be awoken once again by a very meek, delirious ghost-like shape in a strange-looking gown.

'I waited for hours, Miss, but you never came.'

Still sleepy, she feels awful, she must have dozed off while waiting for the girls to quiet down next door.

'I'm so sorry, Nick, those girls wouldn't go to sleep, I didn't dare go downstairs, and then you woke me. Shall I come with you now, or do you want to stay here?'

'Don't think I can make it downstairs right now, Miss. I took a pill just now and it's hit me hard, I feel a bit dizzy. Can I please stay? I felt so bad, I thought you were angry because I said some improper things and called you by your first name. I just couldn't sleep.'

'Take off your shirt, I want to feel your naked skin against mine.'

She has already taken off her own nightgown.

'Can't do it, Miss, my fingers don't work right, I'm clumsy.'

'Never mind, I'll do it. Just sit down on the bed.'

He is positively sweaty and he trembles. That doesn't seem right, maybe those pills are as good for him as bloodletting was for Anne. She pulls the shirt over his head without opening the buttons, and takes him in her arms, covering both of them with the blanket. Oh, this must be sinful because it's so good. The feel of him, and the smell of him. This time he takes one of her nipples in his mouth and sucks on it. A flash of heat feels like lightning striking, centred right between her legs, where the strength flows out of her each month.

His trembling recedes, and he sighs deeply and nestles against her side, still holding her breast with his mouth. He releases it only to take the other one, causing another lightning strike, and a moan escapes her lips. Suddenly he tenses.

'Oh thank God, you've saved my life again, Miss.'

As he kisses her, she suddenly understands what he means. Down there, very close to where her own heat still makes itself felt, she can feel something pressing against her thigh. Something that wasn't there yesterday, or moments ago. No-one has ever told her about the things that happen between a man and a woman, but they must be lodged in her brain somewhere, for she instantly understands this is his manhood come back to life, his biggest fear averted. The sinfulness of being here with him has just increased manifold. But that doesn't concern Nick, of course. His relief is tangible, his meekness vanishes though his delirium may still be there. He rubs himself against her in blunt disregard of his horrible bruising down there, and strokes her naked skin with intense ardour. They kiss, and that kiss cannot be compared to those of yesterday, this is the man unleashed, the ardent lover. This is the moment that Anne will lose her virginity in the deepest shame.

He is in control now, he is strong despite his injuries, and so very passionate. But he doesn't just rule her, he also rules his lust, for as she stiffens with fear and shame he releases her altogether.

'I'm sorry, Miss. That is not how it should be done, my ardour got away with me but it's back under my control. Please forgive me for scaring you. I will not do anything you don't want me to. Men are in a constant battle to control their urges, and the pills and my joy overcame mine for a second there. It will not happen again. Now, may I lie against you as I did yesterday and stroke you a tiny bit? I can't make it lie down, but it will not touch you otherwise, I swear.'

Crisis over, Anne has to admit that feeling his primordial strength did make the heat inside her burn even stronger. Apparently something inside her likes being overcome. It's just the shame that holds her back.

'You may touch me anywhere, Nick, I trust you.'

'I will not betray your trust, Miss. Here, doesn't this feel good?'

And his hand traces circles on her belly and her thighs, making her shiver with pleasure. He strokes her everywhere, and encourages her to stroke him, too.

'Just be gentle, Miss, then it can't hurt me.'

She does, and he shivers as she did before, apparently this is good no matter how often one has done it before. They stroke each other tenderly, and his manhood still touches her but does nothing else.

Then they kiss, and the heat inside her becomes almost unbearable.

'There's a heat inside me, Nick,' she observes, 'and it's getting painful.'

She can feel him nod, and his voice, now calm and almost hypnotic, says, 'It's your body wanting to couple. It doesn't care about decency and society and all. It knows what it wants.'

He kisses her, gently now, his ardour seems to have cooled down a lot.

'I can't help you with it, Miss, not until you accept the shame. If I coupled with you before you can accept the idea of making love to a man you're not married to, you'll come to hate me. Besides, I'm in no shape to couple. But I can let you feel what it would be like, if you want to. Just a tiny bit.'

Anne loves him more than ever, but indeed she is not ready to let him take her virginity. She'd die of shame. But it's so good to have the self-assured Nick back.

'Will you, please?'

They both keep stroking, and the burning feeling flares up again. Nick strokes her legs now, and his hand slowly moves towards the most private parts, gently massaging certain sensitive bits that give her flashes of heat and more burning. Then one of his fingers slides inside her, and indeed touches the burn. It's incredibly good, and she knows his manhood will feel even better. But he stops touching her there, and moves his hand back up to stroke less intimate places.

'Tomorrow I will stop taking those pills, Miss, I don't like losing myself. I cannot tell you how much it means to me to have you in my arms like this. I must admit, Miss, I've never made love to a virgin lady before. Never even to an unmarried lady. I have no idea how to do that, and whether I should. Maybe we'd better stick to a bit of cuddling, it's nice too, isn't it?'

It is.

Well before they are ready to go to sleep, Nick feels able to tackle the stairs, and they move to his little room in total silence, wearing their night clothes. Once there, she removes them and they lie in his narrow cot together, limbs entwined. Nothing has ever felt better than to lie on his chest, in his arms, hearing his heartbeat and smelling his already-familiar scent.

After exchanging some more caresses they fall into a deep sleep, to indeed be woken up by the crowing of a cock in the backyard. It's still dark and the house is quiet, and Anne puts her nightgown back on, kisses Nick one last time, then sneaks back to her own room and her own bed. It's easy to go back to sleep, her clock says it's five, plenty of time before daybreak. Her dreams are sweet, but when she awakes at dawn, the first thing she tells herself is: he will not be claimed. He likes ladies. In plural.

Still she visits him before breakfast, finding him in some pain but back to his confident self.

'Good morning, Miss, I hope you slept well. I certainly did, I feel much better.'

'You look like you're in pain, Nick. And you still have a high colour, but no penny-sized pupils.'

'True, Miss. I didn't take the pills, they make me feel strange, I prefer to be in control of my own actions. And I'm not going to risk my you know what. Excuse me for the image, you understand, I'd rather be in pain.'

'A lot of pain?'

'Not too bad, Miss, I think I can accompany you on your walk tomorrow. Everything is still tender, but the stiffness is gone and the wounds are closed. I'll be every shade of black and blue for weeks, though, my eyes too.'

'It's a badge of honour, Nick. Wear them with pride. Why don't you take a normal painkiller then, the powder you had me fetch that first night?'

He looks staggered, and more than a little put out with himself.

'I forgot. The master came by to tell me they've caught Wellesley. There will be a hearing, the girls will have to testify again, Dora too. And myself, of course. I won't have to see him unless I want to, they're keeping him at the courthouse.'

'The young ladies will be disappointed, they were hoping to see him dragged in in manacles, I think. But they'll get their excitement yet, going to court and being interviewed. I'm going to get you that powder, and then I want to hear what it feels like for you, to have him caught. Do you want him hanged?'

The cook is pleased to give her the powder, 'You're such a caring young lady, Miss de Bourgh. Few would have spent so much time on a mere retainer, your presence has been such a comfort to poor Nick. Look, Miss, this vat is the water for cooking, don't drink that, it can make you sick. And this glass container holds the water for drinking, it's been boiled and strained. Please pour it out, dipping in a cup can soil it again. Thank you, Miss, I forgot all about the powder in this morning's upheaval, Nick will be so relieved, he didn't want to take those pills and I don't blame him, they muddle the mind. But he was in more pain than he wanted to admit, especially to a pretty young lady like yourself. He has an eye for beauty, our Nick has, and despite his looks, they like him, too.'

Yes, yes, she knows, and he cannot be claimed. She'll be out of this house as soon as he is back to work.

He's really feeling better, he does not look or sound meek anymore, though he does stroke her face as she hands him the powder and the cup of water and asks for a kiss. She wants to kiss him, so she does. It's good, and she no longer feels ashamed to kiss a man. She wants him to hold her, but she does not want to seem too eager, it would be demeaning now he's no longer begging her for her affection.

So she asks him again whether he wants Wellesley to hang, and he replies with a steady, 'No, of course not. I just want him to leave me alone. But it's out of my hands now. I will testify against him, but I will not watch the trial, I do not want him to suffer too much. I could have beaten the stuffing out of him, I just didn't because I didn't want to risk being punished. I feel sorry for him.'

Well, he may be a ladies' man, at least he has a heart.

When she gets up to leave for breakfast, he looks at her with hurt in his eyes.

'Don't you want to hold me anymore? Are you mad about last night? It was the pills, Miss, I promise you I'm in control now, it will not happen again.'

Strangely, she wants him to be less in control, and more loving. But she does want him to hold her, so she enters the outstretched arms and relishes his touch and his scent as if it's the last time. Each time can be the last time he holds her, but Anne vows it will not be the last time she is held by a man. The world is full of men, and most of them like ladies.

He nuzzles her throat and licks behind one ear, causing her to feel that burn again. But then he presses her against his chest tenderly, and strokes her hair and her face. His kisses are small and loving, not heated. Anne does not understand at all, it almost seems as is he feels love for her. But then he routinely checks her hair and her collar for signs of jumbling, and she walks towards the breakfast parlour in total confusion.

But Anne may be young and inexperienced, her improved health has given her back her will, and she finds it as strong as Nick's self control. She will not have her heart broken, she is using Nick to experience physical loving for the first time. She will conquer her shame, and take the plunge, and then she will discover the world he has laid open for her. By the time she is back in company, the confusion is replaced with determination. She will enjoy what Nick has to offer, and then she will move on just as much as he will.

'Anne, you'll never guess what happened!' Angelina calls out as soon as she enters. 'They caught him, they caught Wellesley. We're going to testify, and then he's going to hang.'

'Well, now, Angelina my dear, isn't that a bit bloodthirsty for a young lady like yourself?'

Is that Mr Blackwood taking notice of something his daughter says? Miracles do happen.

'But you said so yourself, papa, you said he had to hang.'

'But Nick doesn't think so. I asked him, and he said losing his job and his status was enough punishment for Wellesley. I'm going for everything he owns, too, to compensate Nick for what he is suffering. Still, death is a harsh punishment for a moment of anger, my dear.'

Angelina is not convinced, but it's not in her hands either.

'Did you manage to find a new guard, Mr Blackwood?' Anne asks.

'Alas, no, none were suitable. We've been spoiled by having a man like Nick. Didn't you offer to ask your cousin, a Colonel?'

'I did, but unfortunately he is expected back at the camp soon, I cannot ask him to sacrifice his last free evenings. I'm sorry if you miss out on concerts.'

'Never mind, Miss de Bourgh, never mind. I'll take you girls over myself. I've a mind to hear this Fielding play, since the girls are senseless about him. Though I suppose that's mostly his looks?'

'He is very handsome, sir,' Anne replies, her host is starting to become a real father!

'But he is a superb pianist as well. And his own composition made me cry two nights ago. I was not the only one in tears, people love his music.'

The old butler comes in and announces, 'Mr Manners to see Miss de Bourgh.'

Anne is startled, Mr Manners, again? What for?

He bows to Mr Blackwood and Mrs Blackwood, then addresses the girls, 'You missed a great concert last night, Miss Angelina, Miss Sophie. Mr Fielding sang for his audience, and Miss Darcy played a duet with him. Unfortunately, the lecture was a lot longer than the concert and supremely boring, though the rest of the audience loved it.'

'They've caught him, Mr Manners! They caught Wellesley, who tried to murder Nick!' Angelina is first to see the opportunity. But Sophie will not be outdone this time, 'And we are going to testify. In the courthouse.'

'That is good, I heard your servant was badly injured. I hope he is on the mend?'

he addresses the master of the house, but his eyes are on Anne most of the time. Somehow he knows. Nick may think he is a master of deception with his secret liaisons, but compared to Mr Manners' subtlety Nick is a babe in arms.

'He is improving daily, Mr Manners, he tells me he will be back on the job by Saturday, but I find that hard to believe. I can't find a replacement that suits the girls, that's the disadvantage of having the perfect man for the job.'

'So we'll have to do without you at the concerts tonight and Friday?'

'No, can't have the girls miss out on their outings. I'll go myself if I can't find someone by then.'

'What would you say if I accompanied the girls to the concerts, sir? I'm going anyway, and Miss Darcy has Mr and Mrs Gardiner to accompany her. Just until your man is back to work, or until you've found a replacement. You can send me a message if you want to accept my offer.

Now, Miss de Bourgh, I've come here on impulse because I thought you might want to send off your cousin Mr Darcy, since he is going away for several weeks. If you do, I'm afraid you will have to come with me straight away, or we'll miss them. Those horses are so fast, there will be no lingering for them.'

Actually, she wants to. And he wants to talk about something, probably catch up on the news. Or maybe he wants to warn her against sleeping with a servant. Or falling hopelessly in love with a servant.

'I'd love to. I'll just need my coat and I'll be ready to leave.'

'But you haven't eaten anything yet, Miss de Bourgh.' Mr Blackwood bends over the table and wraps a couple of her favourite pastries in a napkin. 'Here, take these with you. Can't have you fainting at your cousin's send-off.'

'Thank you, sir. I'll be back before lunch. I guess?'

'That should be no problem,' says Mr Manners.

In the carriage, she tries to eat those pastries slowly, but she is ravenous. Mr Manners watches her eat with pleasure.

'I should offer you one,' she says between bites, 'but I'm not going to. I'm very hungry most of the time, and I won't share.'

'You are a treasure, Miss de Bourgh. I'm not going to beat about the bush, Miss, you knew all the time I was not really coming to fetch you for Darcy's departure, though we are certainly going to wave at them flashing by. I have enjoyed our, shall we call it joint venture, tremendously, Miss Anne. You have a sharp mind and you don't frighten easily. And you know when to keep silent and when to talk. You still show your feelings a bit too clearly on your face, but that can be trained. In short, I like you. I don't love you, and I never will, but I have a feeling you're not looking for undying love either.'

He offers her a moment to comment, but she's stunned. Is he planning to do what she thinks he is planning to do? She manages to say, 'I'm not,' but it sounds decidedly squeaky.

'I think we are a great match in characters, and I would like to ask you to consider a proposal. You don't have to decide for ever so long yet, but nonetheless I want to propose a marriage. To unite our families and estates for the eyes of the world, and gain respectability, but to leave each other free to pursue other interests. Discreetly, of course, thus the need to be silent. We'd seek out society, play the game of intrigue, and find love where we want it. What do you say, are you willing to consider this? If you move in with Darcy, we can get to know one another really well, and see whether we are in fact compatible.'

Anne's heart surges, this is just perfect, she can decide at her leisure, but she need never fear to become a burden on anyone.

'Yes, Mr Manners, I will consider your offer seriously. And I will move to Darcy's place when I have finished a certain business at the Blackwoods' residence.'

'You want to discover love at the hands of a sturdy retainer, who is even now awaiting your return in a haze of drugged pain?'

'You are astute, Mr Manners,..'

He interrupts her. 'If we're considering an engagement, you should call me Frederick. Or at least Manners.'

'Frederick in private, and Manners in public. Will you do the same for me? We need to keep them in suspense if we want to make the most of this. But you are right, Frederick, I'm waiting for Nick to get better before I can leave him. Whether we make love depends on me. I am still fighting the shame and I don't know whether I'll manage to conquer it.'

'You will need to, to be married to me. You will not find physical love with me. Not because I find you repulsive, you are a very beautiful young lady, and as yet few realise how much more beautiful you will yet become. Every head will turn when we enter a room.'

'You cannot love me because you are in love with Simon. A man. A servant. Which is why you do not mind my planning to bed Nick. For you I will conquer my shame, Frederick, I admire you.'

He is not in shock, but it's hard to acknowledge nonetheless. Slowly, a sly smile wins over his original seriousness.

'And you are even more astute than I. I admire you, but I also need to ask you: do you know what happens if anyone finds out?'

'You will be shunned or worse. And the game is over for both of us.'

'How did you find out?'

She tells him how the pieces of the puzzle were all there, but unconnected, his being single, his travel plans with Simon, his using him as spy, his tolerance of liking servants. Until she remembered the admiring look he sent her way, while Simon was standing right next to her, helping her find accessories. The love in that look, so deep.

'I would have dismissed the very thought of a man loving a man, had you not made a flippant comment on Nick's hair. Even then, I wouldn't have believed it possible. And then Dora repeated a piece of gossip, dismissed it as vile trash-talking by a first maid from Darcy's household reduced to washing woman because of bullying. She accused Simon of loving men. That is when I knew. I thought you were setting me up to find out, giving clues and hints. I'm actually very proud of myself to know you did no such thing. But it is sobering to know how tiny things can give you away. I will not breathe a hint of this to anyone, I'll tell my lovers you are a ladies' man but very discrete. But you will have to be even more careful, I can understand why you are planning a trip to the continent. If we get married, will you leave me behind? Can you do that, for the public eye I mean? Does Simon know you're planning to get married?'

'We'll use our time well, Anne, and find a solution for everything. Travellers can take liberties because they move around, and Simon knows I'll probably have to marry, but not that I am proposing to you. I hope you won't mind getting to know him better, even though he is a servant. Rank is just an accident of birth, you know, he is a better man than I am. Handsomer, too. Which is why I like your Nick, he looks like me a few years ago.'

'I don't expect to settle with him, Frederick. He told me before he kissed me for the first time that he cannot be claimed, that he spreads his love around. I'm not going to fall for him, it'll only get my heart broken.'

'He did not look at you like that. But be careful by all means. It'll be hard enough to put shame aside, dear Anne, believe me, I know. Thank you, Anne, for considering me.'

'The pleasure is all mine, Frederick. I've had my sights on you since the day we met. You're my ideal of a husband, kind, protective, excellent dancer, not too possessive or too dependent. Perfect.'