Dear Naruto,

It's Sakura.

Things aren't the same without you here. I can't talk to Sasuke that much, can I? He just stays quiet for most of the day, and usually trains on his own, except for occasionally...I really miss you.

Your absence makes me realize how badly I treated you. I was being stupid and bratty to you, and quite frankly, a bitch. I'm sorry. We could've been great friends already. But Naruto, I actually have something important to tell you.

Kakashi-sensei isn't doing so well. He's very sick. So sick that there's no point of him doing treatments anymore. He has lung cancer now, too. Fate was really hard on him.

I'm sorry I had to tell you like this. I know it must be hard to hear when you're so far away. You need to come back. He's getting worse everyday. It's getting harder for him to breathe, and he's always in so much pain. He's always sleeping, and I can tell he's just not all there.

It's hard to watch. I've never seen him weak like this—it's different, Naruto. I can tell Sensei's trying his best, but it's like it's not enough. You should come see him before it's too late. I'm sorry I had to tell you this way; I know it's a horribly blunt letter. Take a second, breathe, cry if you need to. Then leave as soon as you can. I'll be waiting for you, and I can't wait to see you.

Love,

Sakura

Naruto stood at Jiraiya's bedside, shaking profusely, fat tears rolling down his cheeks. He held Sakura's letter tightly in his trembling grasp.

"H-hey…" he managed to say, "Wake up."

The old man continued to snore, muttering and itching his head in his sleep.

"Wake UP!" Naruto choked out, holding back a sob. Jiraiya jolted up, looking around wildly for the source of the loud noise. It quickly became clear to him that Naruto was visibly, and deeply upset.

"What happened, kid?! Is something wrong?"

Naruto nodded numbly, practically falling into sitting position, his shoulders drooping dramatically.

Jiraiya was now fully awake, his blooming worry driving the leftover sleep out of him.

"Naruto?" he questioned worriedly, placing a palm on his shoulder.

"It's Kakashi-sensei...he doesn't have a lot of time," Naruto said through tears, shaking his head as if he couldn't believe what was coming out of his mouth, "W-we have to go...we have to leave now."

Though he was quivering like a leaf, Naruto started to get up, ready to depart for Konoha.

"Wait a minute...what?" Jiraiya asked confusedly, his brows scrunched up dramatically at the sudden news.

"Sakura said he has lung cancer! He can't live with two..." Naruto cried out shrilly, clutching the letter to his heaving chest, his eyes wide and glossy as he tried to breathe. But no matter how much he inhaled, he could never get enough oxygen.

Jiraiya sat frozen for a few seconds, before releasing a heavy breath that he didn't know he'd been holding. His attention quickly went back to Naruto, who was hyperventilating, a panicked, despairing look in his watery, cerulean eyes.

"Naruto! Hey, are you okay?" the old man said in concern. He didn't get a response, but he could hear the kid's labored breathing.

Jiraiya stood, making his way over to him, and quickly embracing him in a tight hug. He had to put his own pain aside. The Uzumaki wept into his shirt through quickened breaths, feeling as though he shouldn't have left in the first place, a deep regret weighing down on his chest.

"...We need to go," Naruto said suddenly, pulling away and wiping furiously at his eyes.

Jiraiya nodded, crossing his arms. He sighed deeply, a forlorn ache beginning to settle in his heart.

"Let's pack."

Naruto passed through Konoha's gates with a debilitating anxiety that kept him from thinking straight, a stressed look on his visage. He was going to visit Kakashi first thing, even before he returned to his apartment.

His mentor wasn't any less worried- Jiraiya's brows were in a constant, deep furrow, adding to his already present wrinkles. The old man was scared for the Hatake's life, and couldn't find any hope to latch onto, especially since they'd received news of his lung cancer.

The walk to the hospital was tense and silent- as was most of the journey to the hidden leaf. The duo had no idea what to expect, and prepared for the worst as best as they could.

"Now remember, Naruto…" Jiraiya started as they walked away from the receptionist who'd given them Kakashi's room number, "He's really sick, so go easy on the talking."

The Uzumaki punched the button outside of the elevator, fisting his other hand tightly, away from Jiraiya's line of sight.

"I'm not stupid," he responded with a glare that could kill, stepping inside the open lift. Naruto didn't want to hear it.

Jiraiya sighed discreetly, following him inside and making a mental note to keep his mouth shut. The kid was going through quite a lot; you could see it in his face.

When they got off on the fourth floor, Naruto pushed past his mentor and hurried to room 421, his heart in his mouth. The fear that came with seeing his sensei in such a dire state almost clouded his excitement at reuniting with him after several long months.

Without warning, he turned the doorknob and scrambled into the hospital room, not even aware of how his breath was coming in pants. His eyes quickly found the bed, and a familiar form ensconced in the blankets.

Kakashi was laying on his side, facing the window, and clearly hugging a pillow. Naruto timidly made his way over to the left of the bed to get a better glimpse of the man's face, which was hidden by a mess of silver hair, and a clear mask strapped around his head.

Naruto exhaled shakily, noticing the purple, almost red shadows under Kakashi's closed eyes, which definitely weren't there before. His shoulders were sharp and angular, and he looked blatantly fragile, like a pale china doll that you kept locked away in a display shelf, out of fear that it would fall and shatter.

His wrists were thin and veiny, and even his fingers were skinny, unmoving on top of the pillow. The genin's brows furrowed and rose painfully, a lump in his throat as he observed his sensei's ghastly skin, which had always been pale, but now had an unhealthy, corpse-like quality to it.

Jiraiya, who'd been several paces behind, stepped in and closed the door with a small clicking sound, quietly padding up to Naruto's side. With a grim silence, he observed Sakumo's son. He couldn't help but feel shocked at his rather cadaverous appearance, an ache blooming in his heart as he recalled how Sayaka, the boy's late mother, had looked exactly the same, prior to her death.

The sennin doggedly walked to Kakashi's bedside, and placed a calloused hand on his spindly arm, gently urging him to awaken from his slumber.

"Kakashi…" He began, his gruff voice cracking slightly, "Sorry to bother, but...we came to see you, kid."

Behind him, Naruto wiped at his eyes furiously, struggling to deal with the deep hurt that came with visiting him in such a deteriorating state. He looked awful- this wasn't Kakashi-sensei. No, this was a dying man.

"Kakashi?" Jiraiya spoke again, rubbing his bony shoulder when he didn't get a response, or any indication of him waking up.

At this, Kakashi stirred slowly, releasing an audible huff that fogged up his mask, and blinking as he adjusted to the light. His rheumy, bloodshot eyes focused on the large figure in front of him, and even in his drowsy condition, he knew exactly who it was.

His gaze widened in astonishment, and he summoned the strength to sit up, using the handrails on his sides for support.

"Easy, now...easy," Jiraiya mumbled, moving to help him up. He almost flinched when his palm brushed against the prominent knobs of Kakashi's spine, that were jutting out against the skin of his back.

The Hatake took off his oxygen mask and sputtered, coughing acutely as he processed the shock of seeing him.

"Master Jiraiya…" he rasped, his unmasked lips twisting into a smile, cracked, and bloody in the center, "Did you bring Naruto?"

Nodding, the old man moved to the side, revealing the blonde boy behind him, a slight smile tugging at his lips as he noticed the charming twinkle in Kakashi's eyes.

"S-sensei…" Naruto stammered, making his way over stiffly, his bright, blue eyes uncharacteristically dull, a roll of coins ever present in his gullet. He knew he had to be strong and keep it in, because Kakashi didn't need his tears right now.

Folding the railing down with a grunt, the copy nin patted the space on the mattress next to himself, gesturing for his former student to take a seat. Naruto sat down timidly, looking down at his lap as fresh tears began to swim in his vision.

All of a sudden, he threw his arms around Kakashi's torso, burying his head in the man's chest. Staring unblinkingly at the IV pole on the right of them, Naruto felt wetness streaming out of his eyes, a familiar touch tentatively embracing him, and then, stroking his hair backward comfortingly. He shut his eyelids and squeezed his sensei tighter, as if to make up for lost time, unaware of how obvious it was that he was crying.

Naruto could feel how bony he was through the embrace, astonished at how much weight Kakashi had lost. He looked significantly different than he had before his diagnosis, and even since Naruto had last seen him, just a few months ago.

Kakashi sighed shakily, his brows furrowing as the Uzumaki wept- there was a rampant, deceitfully quiet mix of nostalgia, guilt, and sorrow swirling within him. He felt directly responsible for the kid not being loud and cheerful like usual.

Naruto pulled away slowly, wiping the wetness on his whiskered cheeks, and getting a good look at Kakashi's face.

"You look so different without a mask," he chuckled lightly, the happiness of seeing his sensei again gradually filling his chest with warmth,"You're actually kinda handsome, Kakashi-sensei, we thought you had buck teeth, ya know. Or blimp lips."

His eyes crinkled into crescents at the statement, and for once, Naruto could see that his lips were actually turning up into a smile.

"You've grown, Naruto," Kakashi told him dazedly, noticing how his voice had lowered a few octaves, and the peach fuzz dusting his jaw and upper lip, "Looks like you need to shave."

Naruto scowled, blushing and feeling his face for hair. "What?! What are you talking about!"

"Your voice just cracked."

"STOP IT!"

Jiraiya laughed heartily at their antics. Kakashi still knew how to make people uncomfortable, even in his ailing state- that wasn't new at all. The Hatake leaned back into his pillows, feeling an ever present pounding in his head, but still sensing a distinct contentment within himself.

"So, how did Naruto's training go?" Kakashi questioned, looking at Jiraiya and discreetly pulling the hospital sheets over the lower half of his face. It was starting to feel a little weird to not have a mask on- if he was completely sober, which he wasn't, thanks to the pain medication, he wouldn't have exposed such a vulnerable part of his identity to begin with.

Jiraiya shifted his weight, opting to sit down on the window sill. "He's gotten way stronger. But I gotta say, Kakashi, I had my work cut out for me, what did you even teach him? He also learned a new jutsu, thanks to me."

A tickling sensation began to build up along the scratchy insides of his throat. The more he tried to stuff it down and listen, the harder he found it to ignore.

"I did get stronger!" Naruto started, locking eyes with his sensei's droopy ones exaltedly, "I know the rasengan now...it's really cool! It's so powerful, Kakashi-sensei, I-"

Kakashi began to hack, wetness working it's way up his chest and causing him to wheeze audibly.

Oh, great.

Jiraiya began to come forward to help, radiating worry, but Kakashi held out a hand to stop him, facing away from Naruto as he tried to ride out the coughing fit. When he was done, he quickly strapped his oxygen mask back on, finding that breathing had become a task again. Panting, he shut his eyes and rubbed his sore chest, feeling the pain clawing away at his excitement.

Naruto frowned, shifting on the mattress, not really knowing what to say. He could see what Sakura meant now.

"Should I get someone?" the sennin asked him, observing how shakily his chest rose and fell, and how he'd just gone quiet to focus on his breathing, "Kakashi? Hey!"

Jiraiya had gone pale with concern, as it seemed like the Hatake was completely unreceptive to his voice. He glanced at Naruto, who shared his anxiety, judging by his furrowed brow, and the way he was fidgeting with his hands. The Uzumaki's stare bored into Kakashi's shaking form, his brain struggling to process the reality of his sensei's withering health.

"Kakashi-sensei?!"

"I'm fine...I'm fine, it's okay," Kakashi grunted, fogging up his mask, "Coughing is normal for me."

He felt their worry permeating through the stark air, adding to the stench of antiseptic and making him more uncomfortable than he already was. It was a bit disconcerting that he worried people constantly, just in his everyday existence.

Leaning back, he closed his eyes tightly, if not for just one second- it was almost as if sight was painful. With darkness came a certain sense of peace and quiet. When he used his vision, the world seemed invasive and cold, unwelcoming.

"Oi, Kakashi, I actually had something for you."

Looking up from his stupor, the said man eyed Jiraiya's pocket, finding that he was pulling out a manila envelope that he vaguely recognized. Jiraiya came forward and held it out, observing the copy nin for any reactions, because the last time he'd attempted to give him the letter had been disastrous.

"Is this…?" Kakashi started slowly, taking it from him gently, gripping it like it was a foreign object.

Jiraiya nodded. "Yeah. It's your Mother's letter."

Stunned, he blinked several times, eventually nodding. Tentatively, he opened the envelope, pulling out folded parchment paper, that had clearly been well preserved over the years. Right away, he could tell that her handwriting was obviously messy, much like his own.

"Uh...Sensei...Do you want us to leave and give you privacy?" Naruto questioned awkwardly, noticing how shaky the paper was in his hands, and the anxious energy he was exuding.

Kakashi's head snapped up from the letter, his eyes meeting Naruto's.

"No, you guys can stay," he reassured him through the oxygen mask, his voice muffled and quiet.

He quickly put his attention back to his mother's last message to him. An immense curiosity palpated in his chest, and he felt that he was at a point in his life, where he was completely ready to read her dying words.

Dear Kakashi,

You aren't yet born, but I know that when you are, I'll be too weak to write this. I'm trying, my son, everyday, to give us life. But sometimes it seems so hard. My stomach is round with you, but the rest of me is stick thin—it isn't a good look.

I love you so much, and to be completely honest, I wish to shield you from the true extent of my repulsive sickness. However, one day you must know, because I fear that you may share my fate. I hope you've had a fantastic childhood, and an amazing life, thus far. I know you're going to be a genius. You're my smart baby. I think a mother just knows, don't you think? If I'm wrong, you have nothing to lose—you'll be dumb and I'll love you just as much. Oops, I shouldn't say dumb.

Back to the point. In adulthood, my condition might randomly present itself in you. It doesn't usually show before that. I was treated for brain cancer, and eventually, even lung, and bone cancer. It sounds crazy, I know. I suppose a much better explanation would be that I never had cancer. I don't.

Back in my small village, the Mizumon tribe, my father, his mother, and my great, great grandfather all had this. Also, my aunt, my father's youngest sister, died from the same multiple cancers anomaly, if you may call it that. I was the eldest child, out of three, and the only one of all my siblings to get cancer, which didn't even show until I'd moved to Konoha and married your father. My younger sisters died when our village was invaded many years ago, in a fire, that perhaps saved them from another deadly fate. Sometimes, I think to myself, which one would be worse- dying in the fire that day, or dying from tumors?

No treatments worked, and whenever I tried any, I reacted horribly. I'm not sure if the doctors at Konoha know much about my disease. Due to the disastrous attempts at treatment, I've had multiple organ failure. Respiratory arrest. Cardiac arrest. You name it, I've had it. When I found out I was pregnant with you, I stopped everything, because I don't want to hurt you, or myself anymore. Although I've had so much bad fate in my 29 years of living, I don't hold any ill will towards the people treating me, because they truly are giving it their best effort.

When I met your Dad, it was both the happiest and saddest time of my life. He found me while he was on a mission. It was honestly a miracle- I was trapped under heavy, scorched pieces of wood that had toppled down from our little cottage, and ragged rubble that came with our fallen shingles, I think. If it weren't for the desperate screams I'd managed to get out after hearing his shuffling footsteps passing by, I would've been dead at 18. Perhaps it wasn't love at first sight (I hope you don't believe in that), but there was quick chemistry between your father and I. You see, we have very similar personalities. Both of us were determined, neither of us had families, and in some way, we had both been numbed to the world by our trauma. Befriending each other gave us a companionship built on solid, common ground, and eventually, we helped each other mend our wounded souls, warming up to a plethora of different perspectives, and navigating through life together to find reasons to live.

I like to think that I was one of the first women who actually understood his incessant need for alone time, because I'm rather reserved myself, and function the same way, needing privacy. I fell in love with him rather quickly. The way he used to come to my doorstep timidly asking me if I wanted to go out to eat, red as a tomato, was, for lack of better words, adorable. He was so awkward! And strangely, I liked it, because in a way, it showed he cared. He was scared to look at me, and when he did, his eyes literally sparkled, I swear—it was the most infinitely beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I agreed to the first date, and many more came after that, if you'd even call them dates. We became best friends as we gradually came to know everything about one another, and naturally, had to be together all the time.

Your father is an incredibly strong, caring man at his core, with feelings that run very, very deep. He would die for me, I know he would. I would die for him, too.

I suspect that you may possess the same, courageous heart as your dad. You know, I'd never considered my own parents to be "in love" and perfect for each other; their marriage was fruitful, but bland, in that they had kids, successfully reproducing three offspring. Their financial troubles are what I posit is what drove them apart- when you have mouths to feed, I suppose it's hard to work on your marriage. However, I can say with confidence that your parents were soulmates, Kakashi. Through and through.

I'd found a real life savior, but my small clan had been destroyed. We resided practically in the middle of nowhere, so no one even knew we existed, or that we were wiped out after that night. If they knew, they definitely didn't care to help us manage our land safely. We were bound to get looted, destined to pheasant, sickly deaths.

I fled with him when he found me, trying my best to forget my past, and the stigma that came with my lower class background. We led happy lives, and grew more in love every day. Sakumo is a caring, handsome, perfect man. I worry that he'll be in a horrible state after I'm gone...even my illness right now cripples his psyche, depressing him for days on end. He's already so sad. But I know it's just because he cares. I love him so much.

When we found out I was pregnant, it was a really happy occasion. Your father was scared because I kept throwing up everything he gave me, but when we went to the hospital, they told us we were going to have a baby. For a second, we forgot everything and relished in the joy of anticipating parenthood. We were going to be parents!

But then, we remembered that I was fresh out of a cancer treatment, and still had a tumor in my brain. You were, and still are, at risk Kakashi. It's my fault.

I was happy, of course, and still am. I'd gladly give up my life for you, okay? Sorry if that sounds scary...Kakashi, I'll love you more than you'll ever know, and it kills me that there's a possibility I won't see you grow up. My heart is heavy with pain and anticipation...however, I can't confide in anyone because they are already so worried. And I can't stress out now, can I ? I have to keep you healthy, and strong. I know I'll be fine. I have willpower, I always have- I've never been that smart, and I was never a great kunoichi, but I have strong will. I know how to bear pain for long periods, and part of me hopes that that is a skill you're good at, too. Also I hope you're an adult when you're reading this because I do not want you to have to deal with my burdens. Oh God, I said hope so many times, kinda redundant, I know. But I've written in ink, and I can't erase it.

Kakashi, the purpose of this was also to warn you of this genetic disease, and reassure you that if you do have it, I'm here. I will always watch over you. And I can tell you that I personally don't think it's cancer at all. But hey, what do I know right? Mother's intuition isn't seamless.

I don't know what the future holds, son. They weren't able to find a cure for me, and the rest of my family members that were stricken with it were just too poor to get treatment. Every doctor I went to ignored my mention of my clan's history with this illness. They just told me that 'cancer can be hereditary', and I couldn't argue. I know there's something weird about this, Kakashi. I can just feel it.

It's a horrible illness. It strips away your strength, your appearance, your appetite…everything. If you get it, find a reason to live, outlive it. Stay consistent with your surgeries, and careful with your treatments. You can manage it if you keep excising the tumors. But if you go about it the wrong way, it'll overtake you. I know you're strong like your father (and me), and you'll put up a fight.

If you lose, it's okay. I'll be waiting for you when you need me, regardless. Your father will be there in time, and you can even meet my family. And the Hatake Clan, if you want. They're kinda weird, but very rich. Money wise.

I love you, Kakashi. Giving birth to you will be the best thing I've ever done. And I know, I haven't been a good mother. How can I call myself that? When I'll probably never get a chance to see you take your first steps. I wish I could be there. But I can't focus on that right now. Just a few more months, and you'll be in the world. We need to live, Kakashi. Because I love you.

Goodbye Kakashi. I must go now. Remember to stay strong and remember that I'm always with you, and will even be there in your final moments, because I'm your mother. And of course, I hope that you haven't gotten any illness! I will see you in another lifetime, my pup.

With Love,

Sayaka Hatake

Kakashi stared at his mother's signature, feeling overwhelmed, but in a good way. She seemed as if she knew exactly what he was going through, and his attention couldn't help but focus on how doubtful she was about her diagnoses. What did she mean she didn't have cancer? And why did she also have lung cancer?

His throat felt constricted and pained with emotion, but he reached into the aged envelope again, catching sight of a collection of photos peeking out from the top.

There was a beautiful lady sitting on a worn bench in the first one, with icy blue-black hair down to her waist, and a pale, heart shaped visage, her complexion milky and fair. She was wearing a silk, red kimono, her eyes bright and luminous. Her irises were a honey brown shade that contrasted interestingly with her dark locks— Sayaka Hatake was clearly beautiful, and somehow looked as if she possessed a free, but wise spirit. Her orbs shone with a certain intelligence and sharpness that not many people possessed.

Jiraiya leaned over to take a look at the pictures, nostalgia settling into him as he took in the woman's beauty, remembering all the times he'd seen her latched onto Sakumo's arm. The old man smiled, his mind taking him back to their wedding, and even to when they'd told him Kakashi was going to be born. Life had passed by so quickly.

"She was beautiful," he murmured, glancing at Kakashi's expression. The kid was silent, with an awed, distant glossiness to his eyes. He failed to respond to Jiraiya's comment, flipping to the next picture.

The second one was of his parents sitting side by side on a stage, in a bustling, beautifully decorated room with red lanterns overhead. His eyes drifted to his father, who looked lively, refreshingly young, and clean-shaven, more so than he'd ever been. The man was gazing at Sayaka with shining eyes, and the widest, most genuine smile Kakashi had ever seen on him. Even through the photo, the Hatake could tell that he was overjoyed, and proud to have such an amazing wife.

"That was their wedding," Kakashi heard Jiraiya mention, his sight focusing on the ends of his mother's traditional wedding kimono, or Shiromuku, that draped majestically across the length of the floor. His fingers brushed against the hidden birthmark under his lip, as he noticed how under his mother's red, brightly painted lips, she had the same one.

The last picture was more solemn than the first two.

Sayaka was laying in a hospital bed similar to his own, a small creature swaddled carefully in her arms, Sakumo leaning down next to her and carefully peering into the baby's blankets. She was painfully thin, with twig-like arms, and a gaunt face that didn't quite shine as it did in the other pictures. Her hair was tied back in a matted bun, and her eyes were puffy and wet, the dark circles underneath them clashing horribly with her ashen complexion. Though she looked exhausted and teary, she was grinning, her lips stretched into a toothy smile as she gazed down at her baby, with a love that she knew he wouldn't be able to see or feel for that long.

Kakashi felt touched, like a missing part of himself had suddenly been brought back to him. He'd never thought that knowing his parents deeply cherished each other, and loved him till the end, would make him long so deeply for something he'd never known- His life could've been amazing.

A tear slipped out of Obito's eye without him realizing, but his expression was rather peaceful, not displaying the intense, confusing combination of curious fascination and aching contentment that felt like it was outpouring from somewhere in his heart. He flipped to the first page of the letter, ready to read it again, and again, and again.

"Sensei, are you okay?" Naruto asked cautiously, not entirely sure of how the man was feeling. There was a visible stream dripping from his left eye, but his brows were relaxed, and he was emanating an air of bittersweet relief.

Jiraiya and Naruto watched as he poured over her copious writing over and over again, a glaring interest in his wide eyes, as he observed the pictures, running his hand over his mother's face in an unusual gesture of affection. He ignored them, completely consumed with her final message.

"Kakashi…" Jiraiya started, understanding his distress beneath it all, "If you want to talk about anything, or have any questions regarding Sayaka, you can ask me."

At this, he looked up, his gaze steely, and somewhat unfocused.

"When did she die?" he asked lowly, "How old was I?"

"...She passed away when you were almost 4 months old, in her sleep. You know, she'd always said she wanted to live to see you take your first steps. I'm glad she did, because you were already walking by then."

He nodded mutely, registering, with a certain numbness, that his mother had gotten to spend at least some time with him, and didn't die right after he was born. A piece of him wished he could remember, even though it was only a few months.

Kakashi turned his neck slightly, gazing out of the window, at the sparse, but growing cherry blossoms littering the barren branches of a tall tree in the courtyard. Letting the sunlight wash over his face, he felt waves of melancholy sweep through him, and somehow, simultaneously, he perceived a distinct sensation of comfort. To have someone go through almost the same thing as him, and be so selflessly resilient and tough, almost made him feel like he could do the same.

But something told him it was too late for that.

a/n: hey guys. college started. sigh. also i should mention that some of the "tumor" is in Kakashi's temporal lobe, so his judgement, and even his emotions are affected. I know at times his emotions might seem out of character, but im just tryna portray another subtle symptom. sorry forgot to tell yall! i kinda did this early on in the story too. lmk anything u want to see, and as always, leave reviews!