Chapter 99

Anne wakes at the sound of the cock crowing. It's five, there is still time. Nick is curled up against her, he is awake, too. They kiss in the dark, and fondle a little more, reluctant to let go of the other. But it has to be done, and Anne gets up, dons her nightgown, then kisses him one last lingering time.

'Half an hour before breakfast this time, Miss?' he asks. 'I don't think I'll manage an hour, though I suppose you will by now. You've grown so strong in just a few days.'

'I should, I've been ravenous all this time. Next I'll grow fat.'

'You will be the most beautiful woman in the world if you do.'

It's a physical thrill to have him compliment her outrageously, almost as if he loves her. Another kiss, and she leaves to find her own room. She'll tell the girls she moved to her own room because she couldn't sleep.

Nick sees her go with intense regret. It's wrong to do this to a noble girl, a virgin, she should be worshipped from afar, not desecrated by his touch. But she wants it so badly, and he can't help himself. She is getting more beautiful every day, she was out of his league to start with but she's going to find out soon how men worship true beauty. With her name and fortune added, suitors will be thick as fleas on a street cur. Fortunately she is gaining confidence to match, no gentleman will find her an easy prey. For days now, Nick has been telling himself that he is doing her a favour by teaching her how to love, but in his heart he knows he's taking advantage of her innocence, of her desperate need for love. It's a despicable thing to do, but she has been so good to him and he does love her, however hopelessly. He is going to give her as much insight in men as he can, to have her make the best possible choice of husband when the proposals start coming in.

At least she's not falling for him, however painful the realisation is. Yesterday it seemed as if she was, but that must have been his imagination running wild, those damned pills. Now she is very business-like, taking step after step towards a goal of her own devising. She may be using him instead, he has no clue. Maybe she's not as innocent as he thinks, just starved for love.

It's drizzling when they step outside, Nick hasn't told anyone he was going out, no need with him being on sick-leave. Miss Anne may have told someone, but most likely no-one was up yet. Never mind, they'll be back in half an hour. The park is too far, but he knows a nice lane where people have large gardens. He heads in the opposite direction from last time, and she follows. At least she's happy to see him, her eyes are shining and her smile dazzling. Never mind, he tells himself, they're not for you anyway. But he remembers her in his arms, her hands stroking him everywhere, his ardour barely contained.

'I'm moving in with my cousin as soon as you are back to work, Nick. Mr Manners proposed to me yesterday, he wants me to consider a marriage of mutual interest.'

That's hard to hear before breakfast, and so casually mentioned. As if she plans to have eggs instead of toast. Good, his dismay doesn't show, for she continues, 'He's like you, not interested in a lasting relationship, but he wants to get married for propriety. I don't love him, but I like him a lot, I could do much worse, and my cousins and uncle will certainly approve of him. He knows everybody and wants me to join him in what he calls the society game. I'm interested, I'm eager to get to know him.'

So little time left. But she is right, Mr Manners is a good match, prudentially. No serenades from him, apparently, but he seems kind, and very likely to treat Miss Anne well, despite planning to continue his philandering and telling her outright. They walk on in silence, it feels good to just be together like this, the gardens are a bit dreary this time of the year but the houses are nice to watch. And she'll stay until he is back to work, she has been such a trooper, like the doctor said. At least he is certain she likes him.

Then suddenly a black buggy halts right in front of them and a man gets out. He is large, strong and he radiates aggression. Nick feels his body tense, his sturdy leather cudgel is back home where it will do him no good, but there is some resentment still smouldering inside him over just taking Wellesley's beating. He feels a certain need to strike back at someone, and doesn't need a weapon besides his own fists. His body may look battered, but that's the outside, the inside is ready for anything. Except for his broken ribs, but he can bear the pain, he'd kill himself defending Miss Anne.

'Miss de Bourgh?' the man says, deferentially. So he knows her name and respects it.

'Do I know you?' Miss Anne asks frostily, 'if you want to see me you can come to the house where I am staying. I am taking my daily exercise and I do not want to be disturbed.'

'Your mother has sent me to take you home. She is displeased with the report she has had, apparently you have been staying with people she doesn't approve of. If you get in the buggy, we will fetch your things and you can be home before lunch.'

She is even more beautiful when she is angry.

'You presume too much. I am an independent adult, my mother's displeasure has nothing to do with me. Off with you, and don't bother me again.'

'I'm sorry, Miss, but I have to insist. Your mother has ordered me to take you against your will if you refuse to obey.'

The man must be a maniac! Doesn't he know whom he's up against? But before Nick can say anything, Miss Anne hisses at him, 'If I'm not back by lunch, tell my uncle and Mr Manners.' And she runs away, fleet as a hare, disappearing around a corner. Nick so wants to run after her, to protect her, but there is no way he can keep up with his broken ribs. And he'll only lead this fellow to her, who has a fast buggy. Better distract him so she can get back home.

'You're a peculiar kind of guard for a young lady,' the fellow starts. 'How does your master expect you to protect someone when you cannot even protect yourself? Look at you, man, no wonder the lady ran off. But I'll get her in the end, I always do.'

Trying to stay calm and refrain from violence, words hurt more than blows after all, Nick faces the taller man fearlessly, moving inside in his personal space until they can smell each other's sweat. The fellow stinks of spirits and smoke besides, no way will Nick let him even come near Miss Anne. When he is so close that the taller man's superior reach is useless, Nick addresses him as the city boy he still is.

'You're not from here, are you?'

The fellow takes one step backwards, he says nothing but it's clear he isn't. He's a countryside bullyboy, no match for someone who grew up on the backstreets of London. Nick closes in again. 'But you must have heard of Earl Compton, and Mr Darcy of Pemberley.'

'Lady Catherine de Bourgh doesn't want her daughter to associate with her undutiful nephew.'

Another step back from him, and this time, Nick decides to spare himself the reek of old tobacco and stale beer.

'I don't know about your backwater, but in London, Mr Darcy is very influential. And Lord Compton has connections in Parliament. Miss de Bourgh is under their protection, and when they find out you have threatened their relative with abduction and violence they will scour the country to find you, and teach you a lesson you will never forget. And I believe her other cousin leads a regiment of soldiers? A thousand hard-bitten men, right here in London? If you start running now, you may be beyond their reach by the time I give them your exact description.'

And he dramatically takes a good look at the large man, as if he's committing his exterior to his memory, which in fact he is. The fellow now takes a step towards Nick, hands outstretched, as if he is planning to keep Nick from giving anyone anything. But Nick laughs at him, this man is used to intimidating farmers, and Nick is more than ready for a little brawl in a good cause. He wants the fellow to lay a hand on him, so he can finally hit back.

That is too much for the man, most of his victims will do anything to avoid violence, this black-patched brawler seems to seek it, the fellow who mangled him must look even worse. He beats a hasty retreat to his buggy and drives off. Nick is left standing without feeling of triumph, he's upset at having lost his charge, afraid she has walked herself lost. But he has no idea where she can be, better check the house first, and get more people on the streets if she's not there. He thinks he has scared the fellow right back to Kent, but one never knows.

Walking as fast as he can with his broken ribs, he is met by Mr Blackwood two blocks from the house. His master stops, takes Nick's arm to support his servant and gasps, 'Thank God you're all right, Nick! Miss de Bourgh came running into my study not five minutes ago, saying you were in danger from someone who was after her.'

'So she's safe? She must have run like the wind, and straight for the house.'

Wait a minute. 'You came to find me, master? Running?'

'Of course, you're hurt. Can't have you fighting. Did he leave you alone? Miss de Bourgh assumed he'd go after her and leave you be, but later she started to doubt that. Wait, don't tell me here, she'll want to hear, too, she was worried. Let's have coffee and a snack in the parlour and you can tell us all about it. Now be careful, you're still weak.'

Whatever has gotten into Mr Blackwood? He's not that bad, he can walk, he would have beaten that fellow to a pulp if the coward hadn't run.

'Thank you for your concern, master, but I feel fine. My ribs are still broken, of course, and that makes me short of breath, but I can walk, really. Just not too fast and not too far. I'm bored lying in bed, sir, I'd rather go back to work anyway.'

But that means she will go.

Nick Fowler, she will do that anyway, he berates himself silently. Even if you were a gentleman instead of a servant she'd leave you. You're plain, and she is more beautiful than anyone. You just enjoy your affairs, for that is all you are ever going to get.

Only when she is almost back to the house does Anne realise she may have thrown Nick to the wolves. He is still hurt, he cannot run or defend himself, and she just left him standing there! She thought only of her own danger, and never spent a single thought on his. Checking the narrow alley leading to the front of the house she decides to try the back door. The cook knows her and will open it for her.

'Miss de Bourgh! How did you get here? We thought you were still sleeping!'

But Anne doesn't hesitate, she thanks the cook for letting her in and for his concern, then runs to Mr Blackwood's study. Nick needs his help, he has to order a search. Still gasping, she knocks on her host's door and at his kind request to enter, does so. She manages to tell him what happened in two sentences, and he gets up immediately and asks, 'Where was this, my child? I will go out myself, immediately, if I can't find him we'll organise a search. But time is of the essence here.'

She describes the road they took, and her host assures her, 'I'll have him back in no time, Miss de Bourgh, do not worry,' then runs off.

But she does worry. She can't find rest anywhere, and merely paces the hall impatiently until the butler opens the front door and Nick stumbles in, accompanied but not supported by Mr Blackwood.

'Miss de Bourgh, are you all right?' He wants to embrace her, but he doesn't dare in the presence of his master. Anne doesn't care, she feared for him, he looks so vulnerable with his black-and-blue face, she has to hold him for a moment, Mr Blackwood won't even notice. Her face buried in his neck, she mumbles, 'I'm fine, Nick. Just very sorry I ran off like that. Are you hurt?'

A tiny sound of distress escapes him. 'I wasn't until you squeezed me so tightly, Miss, have mercy on my poor ribs.'

'I'm sorry Nick. You have a tough job.'

Now why does that make him smile so dazzlingly?

'All right, children,' Mr Blackwood says kindly, 'let's sit in the parlour and talk. This sounds serious, I have a duty to keep you safe, even though you are an adult, Miss de Bourgh. And Nick, I want to know how you escaped another thrashing. Will you start?'

As Nick tells them how he bullied her mother's henchman into flight, Anne is proud of him. He was never in any danger, fortunately. Then Anne relates how she used the streets at the back of the houses to escape, entering the house through the back door.

'You need a guard, Miss de Bourgh,' her host says. 'Nick, you say you are well, are you fit to do some light duties?'

'Yes, sir,' the faithful servant nods, 'I'm bored with lying in bed.'

'Well then, Nick, as long Miss de Bourgh stays with us, you will not leave her side. You will be excused from other duties, when you go out you will leave Miss Sophie and Miss Angelina to the other attendants, your sole duty is to keep an eye on Miss de Bourgh. Both eyes. Understood?'

'Very well, sir.'

'And now I want your uncle's address, I believe your cousin Mr Darcy is out of town? Do you want me to inform Mr Manners? He introduced you to us, I think he needs to know the danger you are in. You say this rogue came from your own mother?'

'That's what he told us. My uncle is seeing her this Saturday, Mr Blackwood. He will sort her out. But until then I will feel a lot safer with Nick by my side. Imagine him chasing off a taller man just by threatening him, broken ribs and all. If it gets too much for him, if he tires, I'll read while he rests. I've gotten used to that anyway. And I'd like Mr Manners to know, indeed. He would feel slighted if we were to keep him ignorant of this.'

Permission to be with Nick all the time, until she moves to Darcy's house. Anne almost wants to congratulate her mother for offering her a perfect opportunity to become intimate with a servant. Well, maybe she'll write her a note when uncle Spencer has secured Anne's inheritance. For now, she accompanies Nick to his room since it's clear he needs some rest. His face shows he's in pain, and he is still labouring for breath just the tiniest bit. Mr Blackwood accepts the excuse beautifully, and within minutes they are in each other's arms in Nick's room. 'I'm sorry I squeezed you, Nick, I'll get you one of those powders.'

'Please, Miss, it's not that bad. Won't you stay?'

'I'll be back in a minute, you're in pain and I feel responsible.'

He nuzzles her throat and covers her face in those tiny, loving kisses she likes so much.

'You're so sweet to me when I'm pain, Miss. I'll gladly suffer a little to get spoiled.'

That's not fair! He is the one who is much nicer when he's in pain! Or delirious. But she can't hurt him by telling him. He's kind of nice when he's bossy, too.

'A penny for your thoughts, Miss Anne. For you tightened up in my very arms just now. Tell me. Please, Miss Anne, we have so little time left together.'

They have, and the very though makes Anne sick to her stomach. But still she replies frankly.

'You're bossy, Nick. When you're less in control you're not, and it's easier to be really nice to you. Of course I'm sweet because I feel sorry for you, but it's mostly that I have been bossed around too much in my life so far. As much as I like you, it rankles.'

'Mr Manners will expect you to obey him once you're married.'

'I'm not married to you, Nick. And I won't marry him either if he won't respect me. That's why we are going to get to know each other very well before we do.'

'He'll hurt you by making love to others.'

'I guess I'll soon find out if that hurts me. We'll be living in the same house after all.'

'I'll try to be nicer, Miss. Mr Blackwood has allowed me a lot of freedom these past years, and it takes some authority to keep the young ladies in line. I'll bow and scrape to you until you fall in love with me.'

'May I please get that powder now?'

'Yes, Miss de Bourgh, if you insist I'll release you for a few heartbeats.'

'Message for you, sir, from Mr Blackwood.'

Simon hands Frederick a sealed envelope, indeed addressed to Mr Manners and sealed shut with the Blackwood crest. Looking up from his paper Frederick suffers a twinge of sadness to find himself addressed so formally by someone he loves so dearly. He looks about him, there is no-one here.

'Need you be so formal, Simon? There's no-one here, you might as well allow me to steal a kiss from you.'

Simon looks very disapproving, and Frederick suppresses an urge to get up from his lazy chair and tickle him until he smiles. He is right, of course, but it hurts to be strangers.

'Someone can enter at any time, sir, if Johnson catches us kissing it'll be all over the papers tonight.'

'If Johnson wanted to see me, wouldn't he have delivered this message himself?'

Good, his beloved can smile as well as look grave.

'He practically begged me to do it, sir.'

'Are we talking about the same man here? Young, conceited, dressed in livery but not nearly as handsome in it as a certain other chap in this household? He's not afraid of me, is he?'

'That's him, sir. I don't know who that other fellow is, but Johnson is most certainly a bit afraid of you. Says he has no idea what you're thinking at any given time, and that worries him.'

'Hmpf, as if he knows what Elizabeth or Darcy are thinking. And as if it's any of his business. But I guess it's a good thing, for it makes spending a few minutes talking to you a lot safer. Will you stay for a moment while I read it? I may want to send a reply.'

'Of course, sir, I'm very pleased to serve you in any way I can.'

'Splendid, then I'll be pleased to serve you tonight, my love.'

A very fleeting dark look is quickly replaced with one of love, he is so handsome, how is it possible that such a charming, stunning Adonis can love a plain fellow quite a few years older than himself? But he does, there is no question about that.

'Better open it, sir, it almost certainly concerns Miss de Bourgh and it may be important. Why else would Mr Blackwood send you a private message?'

He is right, of course, he's always right. Breaking the seal Frederick can see the note, it's a mere scribble of three or four lines. He quickly takes it out and reads it, then hands it to Simon to peruse, who does not complain that someone might see Frederick treating him unlike a servant. No, Simon is as fond of news as Frederick himself is. When his beloved looks up from the note, Frederick growls, 'Collins, that miserable boot-licker. I do indeed want to send a message, but not a reply. I'm not going to spend a favour that has been owed to me since my senior year on a slithering snake. It will just turn around and bite my hand. Hopefully Portman hasn't tracked Collins' persecutor down yet and delivered the warning. Let the chubby miser sweat it out a little.'

'I'll send it by express as soon as you've written it. Do you think Miss de Bourgh is in danger of being abducted, Frederick?'

Good, he has given up. Who is here to catch them? And what harm can a little conversation do? Frederick is familiar with all the servants.

'I don't think so, my love, do you?'

'According to Mr Blackwood, his retainer scared the fellow off despite being rather handicapped at the moment, so I guess that's Nick. If he guards Miss de Bourgh she will be perfectly safe. He told me about a kind of weapon he carries concealed when he feels the need, it sounded frightful and not entirely legal. Miss de Bourgh said her uncle will put a stop to his sister tomorrow, so it's just for one day. And you'll see her tonight. You like her, don't you?'

Is this the right moment?

'I do, very much so. Though I can easily withstand her beauty, I just cannot resist such a mind.'

'I thought so, you and I are much alike, and she strikes me as singularly perceptive. And I do appreciate her beauty, it's still growing and I'm wondering where it will yet lead her. I love looking at a beautiful woman.'

'And Nick? Do you like Nick?'

Simon nods.

'I know Nick a lot better than I do Miss de Bourgh, I actually talked to him for a few hours. I like him very much. He's a ladies' man of course, and he likes to sample lots of them, but still I think he's a truly good man. And he is also very bright.'

'I think they are in love, Simon. Miss de Bourgh and Nick. They've been messing around since he got hurt, but I think it goes a little further now than they planned.'

'Then they have gotten themselves in a nice mess, Frederick. Look at us, they'll be even worse off. And somehow I doubt Nick will stay true to a single woman, he's just not the kind.'

He looks at Frederick in a certain way, then proves he is most likely even smarter than the young lovers.

'She's the one. You want to marry her! Take Nick in as well to keep her happy in that other way. For she will be happy playing intrigues with you, and Nick will love doing what I do behind the scenes. Did you ask her?'

And without awaiting his reply, 'What did she say?'

'We'll both think about it. And get to know each other better.'

'Which she started doing right away by getting to know me. And Nick?'

'She denies that he loves her. But I told her I can't give her any love, she needs to find that elsewhere. I think she's aiming for Nick to do that, but not permanently.'

'Damn it, Frederick, that is quite a decision, getting married. We don't have that much time for each other as it is, if we have to share that with a girl as well...'

'I know, love, if you don't want to do it we won't. She knows that.'

'Oh I always knew you'd get married some day. But to actually have to choose, that's hard. That's very hard. If you're right and Nick's in love with her it's easier, I'd love to have him around, and he'll keep her amused. As long as she doesn't try to claim you or worse, falls in love with you...'

'She'd just as soon fall in love with you, Simon. You're more her age, you're handsome and you appreciate female beauty.'

'But you are the gentleman. Most girls from great families are very aware of rank.'

'If she is, the deal's off. Can't have her looking down on you. But mark my words, she's in love with a servant, she'll lose her sense of rank quickly.'

Simon nods, he has seen it happen before.

'Thinking about it, I can't think of anyone more suitable, Frederick, and she did find out about us. I still think that's incredible, imagine what she can do with the two of us behind her. And she didn't seem to mind us at all. Have you ever met her mother?'

'I haven't, no, and I suppose I won't, now.'

'Well I have, and she let me know she did not approve of my familiarity towards her nephew. Mr Darcy laughed when I told him, and offered to let me join him at playing cards that night. I respectfully declined, the back of the house at Rosings was a lot more fun than the front, I can assure you. You'd love it there. I think Mr Darcy was disappointed. And he was a lot stiffer then, though not to me. I sometimes miss those days, but for the camaraderie, not the senseless yearning.

Anyway, you can tell Miss de Bourgh I approve. Let me get your writing materials, I resent my fiancée being hunted by her own mother, we should at least punish the instigator.'

Well, that's it. Simon approves. Now they get acquainted. And Frederick gets to test Nick a little, Simon likes him, but he has to prove he is good enough for Miss de Bourgh.

That afternoon, Fitzwilliam pays Anne and the Blackwood family the promised visit, and uncle Spencer accompanies him.

'My dear child,' her uncle says as he embraces her lovingly, 'you must have been frightened. I really don't know what has gotten into Catherine, but I assure you, I will find out, and I will make sure this will not happen again. Until then I trust you will take precautions?'

'Mr Blackwood has assigned me his most trusted servant as a personal guard, uncle. I feel totally secure.'

'Excellent, then I am content, and I will be pleased to be introduced to your kind host and his lovely family.'

Fitzwilliam also embraces her, after which the usual introductions take place. The family makes the best possible impression, even Mrs Blackwood can be quite charming at this relatively early hour. Sophie seems taken by Fitzwilliam, and while Anne knows the poor girl cannot compare to the real object of his affections, Anne allows herself to think that a gentle, soft-spoken girl like Sophie might suit mild Fitzwilliam much better than Elizabeth ever could have. Darcy and Elizabeth are a perfect combination, and Anne is certain Elizabeth is a very sweet partner for her confident, almost overbearing cousin. But for the much more sensitive Fitzwilliam a less outgoing, less penetrating wife will be a true blessing. Of course he doesn't even notice the poor girl, she is shy and not a ravishing beauty, and if he doesn't care about her person he couldn't care less about her ten thousand. But Anne thinks she knows what is good for the both of them, and will not hesitate to give love a little helping hand.

But Anne is also in for a shock. She has come to know Mr Blackwood as an indulgent, fond parent, who does try to spend as much time as he can on his beloved daughters. But when Fitzwilliam outlines the entertainment he is planning at his camp, and the kind of officers he has in mind to invite, her host more or less confirms his daughters' fears to be disposed of by stating with satisfaction, 'Good, Colonel Compton, excellent! My daughters have a kind of fancy for baser forms of entertainment and I indulge them in it, but it's good for them to meet eligible men in the shape of your officers. The men will provide a good name, and my girls will set them up with a fortune.

Time is ticking away for them, too, you see. When they turned sixteen we made an agreement that they can amuse themselves as they see fit, as long as they obey their retainer and don't cause scandals. But if they haven't found a husband of their own choosing by the time they're of age, I get to choose their husband for them. And I'll choose someone to improve this family, not to make them swoon. Like your Mr Manners, Miss de Bourgh, though I guess he has been offered a pretty face and ten thousand before now. Too bad. But maybe you'll get him, Miss Anne, you were well-endowed with fortune and looks when we first met, and you're growing more and more beautiful every day. If he wants you, he'd better speak soon, for it won't be long now before you'll be looking for a prince!'

Anne is certain she blushes really prettily, and of course it's great to be considered beautiful. But at this very moment she is struggling not to fall in love with an average looking servant, and gathering courage to have him deflower her. She's very glad Frederick isn't here, he'd look at her in a certain knowing way and she'd want to find a hole to hide in from her caring and worried relatives.

And he indeed looks at her in exactly that way when he picks them up for the concert that night and finds out Anne's host has assigned her a personal guard: the very retainer he is supposed to replace until the man is back into action, who is obviously not going to leave her side for a single moment.

But he merely throws Anne a satirical look, and leaves his comments for the relative privacy of the carriage. Anne blushes furiously again, Mr Blackwood undoubtedly admiring her newly gained bloom and envying the man who will eventually win her hand.

Once seated, Frederick takes a careful look at Nick, sitting right next to Anne in his livery, his face still a terrific mess of blue and black, cuts now healed over but obviously fresh. No chance of Nick browbeating him, Frederick is a powerful man and obviously in prime shape. In fact, Anne thinks, the two men look very much alike. Their bearing is different at the moment, Frederick is very much in control and Nick is in his usual perfect-servant guise. But she knows he can be very forceful, though he is trying to control his attitude towards her since she mentioned it to him.

Their posture is very similar, though, and their hair is of the same colour and quality, Frederick's indeed thinning here and there, small wonder since he's Nick's senior by quite a few years. Even their faces look a bit alike, it's hard to see clearly with Nick's adornment of cuts and bruises, but their chin, cheekbones and nose are definitely similar, though not particularly clean-cut or handsome. Still, they both have a certain unconscious charm to make up for their lack of manly beauty.

'So, Fowler,' Frederick drawls, not pleased with the way Nick is claiming Anne, 'you still look a bit worse for wear, are you certain you are up to the task of guarding Miss de Bourgh?'

It's a bit petty to bait a servant, and Anne takes care to show her displeasure. He is merely doing what his master ordered him to do, after all. But Nick does not let Frederick draw him out, he frames a very polite and rather diffident reply.

'No, sir, I'm actually pretty sure I'm not, not in a crisis. But I am sure you are, so I am going to keep an eye on Miss de Bourgh, and if there is trouble I am going to call for help. Maybe my looks will favour me as well, they did this morning, I'm a good deal stronger than I look. For Miss de Bourgh I'd take on anyone.'

Now Anne realises Frederick is a lot softer than he presents himself, for his reply is much more appropriate than his initial question.

'I commend you on your loyalty, Fowler. I admit I was a bit put out with your unexpected presence, I hoped to have a few private moments with your charge which I will now have to forgo on. But it's unfair to hold that against you. We'll just have to find a subject that interests all of us. Will you start by telling me what happened this morning? I got Mr Blackwood's kind note, but I'd like to hear your own descriptions, I have friends in various places who may be able to find this character and teach him some respect.'

And so Frederick works his magic on his supposed rival, drawing him out, praising his descriptive talents, and his courage to face a taller man while suffering from broken ribs. Sophie and Angelina are totally speechless under Frederick's spell, and Anne is starting to consider a marriage to him with more and more satisfaction. Knowing from the first that he is taken she will certainly be able to keep from falling for him, he is very admirable but a bit too clever to Anne's taste. Fine for company, but maybe a bit too complicated to love, when one never knows exactly what he is thinking.

Nick is talking freely, forgetting his 'I'm hard at work' attitude, enjoying the clever conversation with a kind of hunger. He really is a servant by accident of birth, for he understands everything Frederick offers as possible reason for a hired bully to be so easily cowed, and readily compares it to his memory of the experience. Anne is relishing their clever talk, and the feel of Nick's strong body against hers. By the time they arrive at tonight's venue there is a kind of mutual respect, even liking, between the two men. Still Anne thinks Nick is not going to allow Frederick a moment of privacy with the woman he knows is seriously contemplating accepting the gentleman's proposal of marriage, not if he can prevent it. But Anne will not hesitate to force the issue. She is as safe with Frederick as she is with Nick, if not safer, and she is not subject to his master's commands. Not if Nick wants her to stay until he is back to all his duties.

Anne can see Frederick has some news, and she suspects it concerns Simon. She needs to give him chance to share it, and she really wants to know. To her, Simon hasn't just half the votes, to her Simon decides. If he doesn't want her in their relationship, it's not going to happen. To keep up the appearance of a marriage he will have to suffer quite a bit of intimacy between Anne and his lover, and she can imagine that must be quite a burden. She doesn't expect the same problem with her lovers, there will most likely not be a single, possibly jealous, partner for her. Even Nick is showing some signs of trying to rule her, Anne does not want to put up with that anymore. Equality, yes, she needs to look at him as a man instead of as a servant. But that goes both ways, she may be a woman, but she can make her own decisions.

And after the concert, when the hall empties towards the front, Anne enforces her own will. Nick has been at her side all evening, seeking as much physical contact as narrow seats can offer, but sitting on a hard chair all evening has taken its toll, he is in some discomfort.

'Nick,' she says quietly, 'you need to walk around a little, you're breathing sounds laboured, I can tell you're in pain. Why don't you mind the girls while they talk to Mr Fielding? I need to have a few words with Mr Manners in private, we'll be right here, and you know nothing can harm me with him by my side.'

He does not like it, but she asks his understanding, she does not command him. Nor is she a Blackwood child, she is not bound to obey him. He cannot but give in, and he does so graciously.

'You're very perceptive, Miss. I am in some pain, and walking a little will relieve it. Thank you for suggesting it.'

It hurts a bit to hear his formal reply, but there is little time to really feel it. As soon as he is off with the girls she gets to the point.

'You have news for me, Frederick.'

He grins broadly, it's good news. 'Simon approves of you. Of course he worries about sharing his life with someone he doesn't know, but that goes for all of us. I think things are getting down to testing each other's liveability. Your admirer does not approve of me, I'm afraid. Though I think I've made a little progress tonight. Did you tell him about my proposal?'

Anne is not pleased with the term, Nick does not claim her, and cannot be claimed.

'He is not my admirer, Frederick. He is my teacher, I'm using him to conquer my shame. And yes, I did tell him. He showed no envy, in case you were wondering.'

'Teach me how a man's mind works, Anne. I'm older than you and I have some experience with lovers, coincidentally all men. Believe me, Anne, that man is madly in love with you. Only his low status is keeping him from staking his claim to you, he is very carefully avoiding being possessive. I pity him, he must be in agony. Don't torture him, Anne, if you want him, you know you can have him, I like him and Simon does, too.'

'I will not be possessed by any man, Frederick. And I'm not torturing him, he's probably already planning his next liaison. He told me himself that he has any number of lovers, all of them noble ladies who dote on him. The cook confirmed it with a chance remark. You're a romantic, I bet you see love everywhere. I see what I see, a man trying to seduce a beautiful woman, and taking his time not to frighten her off. When he gets what he's after, he'll move on. And I will move on.'

Frederick shrugs and moves on, good, he can let go when faced with good arguments. He points out a scene in the front of the theatre.

'Look, seeing him do this had Darcy in a fit, he's herding them away from Fielding, poor chap is at his end again. Mr Gardiner is doing great, I told him he had to take my job tonight, clear the room when Fielding starts to wilt. I bet your man would be really good at it.'

If that gives Frederick satisfaction, Anne can live with it. She finds she is much like Darcy, she likes impertinence and ready wit. Teasing her with Nick's supposed affection is perfectly acceptable. She catches Nick's eye to let him know they are done with their private discussion, and ready to leave. Another hour, and she will be snuggled up against him, stroking his soft chest muscles and the dangly part of his manhood. She'd love to see him in the nude again, feeling is great, but seeing is another thing. The one time she did he was covered in blood and suffering intensely. She cannot remember much of it besides the fear she felt for him and the wild ache for intimacy he stirred up inside her.

'I'll think of you when I'm waiting for the house to quiet down before sneaking through the halls. And then I'll forget all about you for a few hours. Enjoy, Anne!'

The cheek of him, Anne cannot help but admire him enormously. Of all the people she knows, Frederick is the least bound by the rules of society. He pretends to honour them, but he does as suits him. As if to prove that to herself, Nick and the twins, he kisses her on both cheeks when they take leave that night. She returns those kisses gladly, he has trained her well by letting her stay with the Blackwoods. No...she will not believe he has set that up as well. He didn't know her at all, she is sure Darcy told him she was the most boring person alive. She has changed so much the last weeks.

When she joins Nick that night, eager for more loving, he asks, 'Will you please follow me somewhere special, Miss? There is a full moon tonight, and I have a little place of my own where we can see it in all its glory.'

He does not mention Frederick, marriage, or anything else. He does not love her, he is not jealous of Frederick. He is just eager to make love to her, which makes her very happy.

They sneak back up the stairs, hand in hand. Anne is not hurt by the thought that he has done this before, numerous times. Two sets of stairs, to a door she passes by each time she goes to her room. He opens it, its hinges are oiled to perfection, there is no noise. Another flight of stairs. He closes the door behind her before going up. The attic, if the musty smell is an indication. It is pitch black, except for a few squares of light overhead. Windows, with the full moon almost as bright as day. He leads her by the hand, takes her in his arms to kiss, the first time since leaving his room, he feels safe here. Anne wonders what room lies directly below, hopefully not his master's bedroom, but she does not voice her question, everyone is asleep.

A few more steps of faith, following her lover in the dark, and they reach a little nest more at home in a dream than a dusty attic. In the moon-lighted square, a beautiful if old fashioned bed is made up with shimmering sheets in the most wonderful bright colours. Black screens hide it from sight on all sides, and when she studies one it's lacquered to a high sheen and painted with exotic scenes. It must have come from the other side of the world, it reminds Anne of china ware, except the colours are different. They are standing in a narrow opening between the screens, and Nick holds her close instead of leading her to the bed.

'This is my tiny piece of heaven, and you are welcome to enter it. I will show you love to the best of my ability, though I may be a little hindered by my ribs. But, I can only let you in on one condition: in this place, there is no rank. In here, you will be Anne, and I will be Nick, two people making love. If you cannot accept that, we'll go back down to my room and make love there.'

He doesn't insult her by making her promise to keep quiet about this place even if they go back down, he knows she will.

'I took me a while to see it, Nick, but I know you are a man in exactly the same way that I am a woman. Rank is an accident of birth. Call me Anne here, and whenever we are alone.'

A crushing embrace proves he did have doubts about her, but Anne merely worries about his ribs. 'Nick, take care! You'll hurt yourself crushing me like that.'

He obviously doesn't care, for he lifts her bodily and places her on the bed with a reverence belying his speech about equality. But of course he does not kneel for her rank, he kneels for a beautiful woman. His kisses are loving, not greedy, and for a moment she allows herself to believe that Frederick was right, that this man is madly in love with her. But she just cannot keep it up. He has had scores of women, why should he fall for the most naïve and inexperienced one? Whom he doubts sees him as a human being instead of a mere servant?

They undress, the attic is less cold than one would expect without a fire, then kiss and fondle each other as Anne has been aching to do all day. After that he sits on the bed and strokes her thighs and inner legs, sending shivers up her spine, making her pant with ardour. He kisses every part of her he has just caressed, and when he whole body is tingling with excitement, he gently spreads her legs. His hands take hold of something down there, opening her up, then he bends over and makes her gasp with the soft touch of his tongue. But only very shortly, for he soon sits back up and gasps himself, excusing himself huskily.

'Oh my poor ribs, they're not up to this! That was painful and breathtaking, though very good otherwise. Please let me improvise.'

And he turns her whole body around until her legs fall off the bed. Kneeling beside it, he guides her legs onto his shoulders and proceeds with what he was doing, causing her to gasp, moan and shiver with pure lust. The ecstasy is climbing and climbing until she feels some kind of shuddering release. He looks up, smiles heartbreakingly sweet, then continues. This time, he uses one of his fingers to tickle her from the inside, making her want to cry out with ardour, which of course she doesn't. When he has taken her to another one of those heights she knows what is to come next, for the heat inside her is making her mad with lust.

But he does not give her what she wants, she can see his face by the light of the moon, he is as mad with desire, but he is not going to do it. 'I can't, Anne. I'm afraid I did something stupid just now, my chest hurts. It's pretty intense, and once I start, it's hard to stop, I could seriously damage my ribs that way. I'm sorry.'

No need to be sorry, she checks him to see how bad he is, he does look as if he is in pain, and she strokes him lovingly to show him she is not put out. Heated though, and he must be, too.

'Is there anything I can do for you? That was so good, now I want to spoil you.'

His face lights up, there is no help for it, she does love him. She will just have to suffer it then, but not yet. She kisses him, and they embrace, and if Anne is rubbing herself against him a little he doesn't seem to mind. Her hand finds its way to his manhood, and she caresses it until he is gasping with ardour. Then she moves down and does to it what he did to her, carefully checking his breathing. Gasping seems inevitable, but he should not really heave for breath.

Giving a clue to what coupling will be like, his hips start to move along with her hand and mouth, not too much, just a tiny bit. Then suddenly, he pulls back, grabbing himself firmly until he shudders and moans, then lies still.

'Most women don't like the taste of that, Anne. I thought I'd spare you the experience. Thank you, I think I needed the release, I feel very mellow all of a sudden. He picks up something from under the bed, and wipes his own stomach with it.

'It's my semen. When a man has a release, the semen spills out. It's what makes babies if it ends up inside a woman. I don't want babies, so I take precautions, I have some right here, also under the bed. I'm afraid you'll despise me for being so calculating, but I want to be honest with you. I've done this a lot. I also want you to know the dangers of making love to many different men. You will need to prevent the seed from getting into you, or you will get with child. And there are diseases...no. I'll tell you tomorrow, when I'm resting. Right now I just want to be with you, and relish this moment in the moonlight.'

They lie down on the bed, bathing in the moonlight. The next half hour is precious, touching and looking their fill of the other's body as they kiss and cuddle. Nick seems to be nodding off, strange since he is usually very awake when they are together.

'Nick, don't fall asleep. We can't stay here, can we?'

This is what Frederick does every night. Maybe he is thinking of Anne right now, sneaking through the hall back to Simon's little room. Or maybe Simon comes to him.

'Indeed we cannot. Shall we sleep in your room? Your bed is larger and more comfortable, and you have a clock. I can move easily now, and my presence upstairs is less strange than yours downstairs.'

It's fine by Anne, she wakes up at five and is not afraid to oversleep. And if she should, Dora doesn't wake her before ten. Plenty of time for Nick to sneak away.

Getting out of the attic isn't easy, Nick seems very tired and he still has to lead. Once in her room, she checks him out as carefully as she can by the light of her candle. Is he still in pain?

'I'm fine, Miss, just very sleepy. I'm sorry, but I'm going to fall asleep on you as soon as I hit the bed, I cannot help it.'

'We're by ourselves, Nick, it's Anne.'

She can feel him shake his head.

'Can't do that Miss, it'll cause me to blunder some day. Better stick to the Miss and be sure. Thank you, though. One last kiss?'

It's a wonderful kiss, but Anne suspects Nick is asleep even before his head touches the bed.