A/N: Here is the start of something I've been thinking about and working on for quite some time. Complete AU, all characters will have OOC traits, but I still managed to slip some actual Skip Beat! storyline in here! Thank you for reading!
Am I awake, am I asleep, or somewhere in between?
It all began with a dream. But didn't it always? Whether it be a dream to become someone, or a dream to have something, or a silly dream that happens while you sleep. They're common and nothing special. Ordinary. And the man who plagued… no, accompanied her dreams was entirely in her head, a fragment of her mind, something she wanted so badly that she had dreamt it up…
That's what Kyoko believed until she realized what was happening. It all seemed to dawn on her one evening while she lay in bed. Right before her eyelids got so heavy she couldn't fight to keep them open anymore. She must've been seventeen then, ten years after their original meeting, when she would go into her dreams at night and imagine a beautiful forest with a bubbling stream, water sprites smiling and splashing in the cool water, rainbow stones of varying shapes and sizes, and fairies that would flutter around her head with the wings of exotic butterflies, that's where she would cry all alone. Endlessly. Until one day when a beautiful boy showed up. One with shining tousled blonde hair and sparkling green eyes, a boy that made her laugh and would listened to her troubles. At first she had believed he was a fairy himself, of course one that she had created like all the others but this time one that would truly be her friend. Until time continued to pass and he just kept showing up, whether it was a few hours, all night long, or just a few moments, he was always there for her. He had become a constant person she could rely on, and gradually she came to realize that she hadn't made him up at all, he was visiting her dreams while in his own. They had begun to mesh minds, her forest became theirs, some nights they would dream up wonderful places, food, drinks, movies to watch together on a floating silver screen and they would cuddle in each others arms on a cozy sofa in the middle of a meadow while glowing balls of fae lights bobbed high in the sky, bathing them in a blue hue and the fragrant wildflowers surrounding them making the air sweet and intoxicating.
It came naturally, their connection was impossible to ignore, and as they got older it had became something more, it became painful to fight it any longer. A relationship of sorts was formed, their minds were their own mental palace to explore on occasional evenings, the outside world unable to ever penetrate their dreaming bliss, and they never expected that it ever would. Each night before bed, they would both hope that tonight would be another dream that they would spend together, no troubles, no worries, just Ren and Kyoko.
It had been awhile since she had seen Ren, well over two weeks, and thankfully tonight Kyoko was having one of her rarer dreams. The kind where she seemed to be more lucid, everything was lacking the usual sleepy fuzz and she was able to clearly have an in-depth conversation, she told him that she had decided to accept the new job she had been offered, and about how it entailed moving to the city tomorrow. Ren didn't realize it was happening so soon and had voiced some mild concerns about housing and other things that take awhile to sort out, but her company had secured her a supposedly nice apartment near public transportation options so he had let the worrying go and had moved on to fully supporting her and her decision, he was openly excited for her and the new step she was taking. Yet the entire time she talked about it Kyoko had felt insecure, a little scared, and worried. She couldn't help the fear that accompanied change, even the change she had accepted and chosen for herself still made her chest heavy with anxiety. She felt like a child again. Her whole life being uprooted and uncertain with no place to call home.
Ren could sense her reserve, her nerves were like an electric current keeping her muscles locked up and he hadn't felt her relax like she usually would when she was leaned up against his chest. And he knew, if he could see her face, she would have that worried crease between her brows and her eyes would be downcast, refusing to meet his even despite the upbeat way her voice was as she told him her big news.
"Hmmm…," He hummed. "So why do you seem so sad about it if it's a good thing?"
Her body stiffened even more against him, and he began to quickly weigh the pros and cons of poking at her when she was like this. Reminding himself that he was always there to comfort her, and that he had been doing a pretty good job at it for the past eighteen years, so he decided to keep on. He knew he was someone she could talk to, someone who would listen without judgment and wouldn't think her concerns were silly or invalid. And Kyoko knew that, too. So why was she putting on a brave face?
"I… um," she stalled. "I guess I'm just scared. I feel unsteady, like the ground is rushing underneath me and my feet can't keep up. If I don't keep racing ahead then I'll start stumbling, and I'm afraid while I'm so busy watching my feet and focusing on doing well at this new job, that I'll begin to lose myself, and my original reasons for taking it — and I'm afraid I'll lose something else too…"
Kyoko didn't want to have this conversation. She simply wanted to tell him the good news, then move on to him and what he had been doing the last couple weeks, or even just enjoy their time together in silence like they had done before. Her heart hurt, she already felt her eyes tearing up and she was glad he wasn't able to see them pooling and brimming her eyes. She knew she was overreacting and worrying for nothing. Ren shifted behind her, coming closer, and his long arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her tightly against him.
"Ah, I think I understand. But you've been working towards this promotion for a long time now, and you know that everyone you care about, cares about and supports you too," he said. "So, you might be moving away, and it might feel like you're moving away from everything you know, but that doesn't mean things won't move and change with you. In fact, things might become better than they have been."
"But what if things don't change for the better? What if I move to this new place, have the job I've always wanted, and I hate it? What if this new job takes up so much of my time that I gradually stop having time for the things I cherish most? They said it will be more difficult, that being the executive chef is a lot more time consuming than being a sous chef so I should prepare myself…" Her voice was exposing her insecurity more and more as she spoke, and she hoped he wouldn't see through her facade.
Kyoko knew the new job would be time consuming so that wasn't exactly why she was upset, truth be told she didn't have much else she did in her free time besides practice her cooking and perfect her plating styles, and from now on she would be the one creating the recipes and perfecting them before teaching them to the chefs that would be making and plating them — so if anything her usual work related hobbies would be swapped out with new ones. She felt confident in the job aspect, it was the moving away from everything she had ever known part, and now she had become worrying that her dreams would change with that. That she might not even dream at all because of the new exhaustion that came with running an entire kitchen three times the size of what she was used to. That his job would get in the way, too.
"Kyoko… what is it really? Are you scared to leave the home you've created here? Or are you scared that other things will begin to go badly when you do?" He sighed, she was being odd about all of it, and he'd never experienced the feeling that she was hiding her feelings from him.
She knew she couldn't avoid it any longer, and she was silent while she thought of the right way to articulate the feeling she was experiencing. The slow melody from a piano was playing around them, and a gentle cool breeze brushed across her face, cooling her warm wet eyes and cheeks. He was creating a comfortable place for them to talk, full of all her favorite things that would relax her. They were no longer in the forest they had enjoyed when they were younger, leaning against one of the largest trees trunks, but were now on the soft cushions of the sofa they had always snuggled on in the middle of the flowering meadow. Ren was showing her that he cared by doing what he could to make her feel better. So why was she hiding her worry from him? Didn't he make it apparent that he enjoyed being with her as well?
"I'm afraid I won't have the time to dream anymore. That I'll go to sleep too exhausted for my mind to create this place for us. And if I do dream, what if it's like those other times? We already haven't been able to see each other a lot lately, and I can't help but worry that after a new schedule it'll just get worse."
Feeling Ren's arms loosen around her until he actually let her go, Kyoko was worried she had somehow upset him, until he began to readjust them both so he was able to see her face. "Oh, Kyoko… I'm sorry. Work was especially busy, we had some new clients that I had been requested to work on and before long, two weeks had gone by. Time escaped me," his emerald eyes found her golden ones, and they were sincere as he spoke. "But you never have to worry about us. This is our special place, even if we don't get to see each other for a while."
His gaze seemed to stab into her, and she couldn't help but still wish that things were different, but she had accepted a long time ago that this was all they were ever going to be. After many talks, they always found good reason to keep things exclusively like this. Never sharing details about where the other lived, never sharing too much about their work or where it was. Somehow agreeing that the troubles that came with "real life" weren't something they were ready to deal with. That they were both still working on themselves, not willing to sacrifice their own personal goals, not wanting to jeopardize what they had if things got to be too much for the other.
"You're right. I guess I can't help worrying, even despite knowing that. Things probably won't change much, and if they do, they'll probably change for the better, just like you said." Kyoko replied, her eyes breaking contact with his.
Ren could see she was still upset, and before he could console her any longer, his bedside alarm began to ring, the sound far away and but not that distant at the same time, like it was on the other side of a wall — in another room, but also somehow far off in another dimension.
Kyoko sat up straighter, "Oh, you should get going!"
She knew from experience that he never stayed longer than his cursed alarm clock. She dreaded the impending sound of it during every meeting.
"You know I don't want to go, right?" he asked, while mentally cursing the existence of his alarm and wishing he could stay awhile longer. He couldn't help but feel that there was so much left unsaid, and he hated seeing her overthinking and assuming the worst.
"Of course? I don't think I don't matter to you right now, I worry that my value will inevitably drop as time goes on. That our lack of speaking will cause a divide between us and we'll just grow further apart," she admitted. "I'm afraid one day I'll wake up from this dream, and it'll turn out that that dream was the last for us, that the sweltering sun of a new day burned away any traces of you that I thought I knew or had."
"Are you kidding? Since when have I ever made you feel like you weren't a significant part of my life? If I ever have, I apologize for it, because that was never my intention. You're important to me and I have no plans to stop coming here to see you any time soon. I truly do look forward to our time together, and I was hopeful that my work would calm down and I would be able to spend more time with you." Ren sighed, he was able to understand her worry, because he himself often wondered if one day she would tell him she had had enough of their time together.
He hadn't been too aware of how she was feeling, so lost in his own work and issues, and of course right when she confesses her concerns, he has to go. Any luck in the world had been against him from the start. And that fact continued to be so.
She wouldn't meet his eyes, and he felt like something was becoming congealed in his chest.
"Kyoko, come on, I'll come back to see you in a few days. So please don't overthink so much about us," he said, reaching for her and pulling her back against him. "And please be safe and careful during your move, the traffic into the city won't be so bad since it's the weekend, but I'm going to worry anyway."
Ren breathed her in, the smell of her hair and how well she fit in his arms, it was intoxicating, and he wished that this night had been different for them; that she didn't have any of these worries. In fact, maybe he just wished things were different in general. He couldn't help but imagine what it would feel like to have her really pressed up against him in their real life and not in the dreamscape they had created.
"I think it's just a combination of everything. I'm overwhelmed and I'm worrying about all kinds of stuff that doesn't need worrying on. I think you're right. It's all going to be okay." Kyoko murmured against his chest.
Her arms circled up around his neck and she pushed herself impossibly closer to him, trying to will time to slow down so she could stay here just a bit longer, in the arms of her favorite person.
After a few moment of silence, Ren pulled back but kept both of his hands lightly on her hips, and gave her the breathtaking smile that he reserved just for her. "You're right, it's all gonna be okay. I'm not going anywhere, you're gonna do fantastic at your new job, and your new apartment will have everything you've been wanting that your old place didn't have, especially a bigger kitchen," he winked.
Leaning down, he brushed the tips of their noses together until she let out a small laugh. Happy to see her smile after feeling so down, and taking in the pink tinge blooming on her cheeks from his act of affection, he went for it and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, making her blush darken even more.
"Alright, I really gotta go." Ren said, straightening up.
"You're a playboy, you know." Kyoko huffed.
He laughed at the name she often called him, "Yeah, but only to you."
And just like that Ren was gone, his presence faded from her mind like a delicate wisp of mist and clouds and Kyoko was alone to think about their night together and everything that transpired.
Grabbing the packaging tape dispenser and taping up her last box of belongs — Kyoko stood and took in the watercolor wallpapers of her old bedroom. It was her last few moments in this place, and time had seemed to race for it. A small part of her felt an immeasurable sadness at the loss of this steady comfort she'd had for the last few years, and another part was eager to leave the key and head out. The house she had grown up in had been nothing special, but this apartment, the one she rented straight out of high school, had felt like her home for so long now that she was beginning to look forward to a change.
Doing one last check to make sure she had forgotten nothing, and finding she hadn't, she grabbed the car keys, the last box, and headed out to her awaiting car that was already packed with the few things she didn't want the movers handling. Full of gas and ready for the drive across the country, the car was maybe the only thing really ready to explore a new terrain.
"Well, that's the end of that chapter…" Kyoko said under her breath. Moving hadn't been in her plans, but her supervisor at work had said if the young woman wanted to climb the ladder of success, then moving for this position would be her best bet. So here she was, uprooting her life and leaving her home city in the cars rearview mirror.
The drive to Tokyo had been easy enough. Familiar with the traffic from occasional business trips, she was able to find her new building of residence relatively easily and began the trek of carrying the first box full of kitchen necessities to her flat on the 26th floor.
Struggling through the first set of doors, she couldn't help the breath of relief that the elevator was close by and she wouldn't have to walk too far back and forth to unload everything. Using her elbow to press the small button, she tapped her foot while waiting for the elevator to arrive.
"Do you need some help with that?"
Startled by the male voice behind her, Kyoko jumped, her grip loosened, and she nearly dropped the box in her arms until a long arm slipped behind her shoulders, restoring her footing while the other went under the box, taking it easily from her hands so she could steady herself.
"Oh! I didn't hear someone come up behind me! I'm so sorry about that, " the words were out of her mouth in seconds, she was accustom to apologizing for her clumsiness.
"It's alright. It was my fault for sneaking up on you." The stranger replied.
She turned around to face the smooth voice, and was somewhat surprised to find a… punk? Blue eyes stared back with curiosity that matched hers, his blonde choppy hair was gelled into stylish spikes, his ears had several studs in them, and his clothing… well, it was something. Kyoko shifted away from him, causing his arm to fall from her shoulder and took a step back to put space between them.
Not really wanting to be rude, but also not wanting this handsome but strange man to know what floor she was going to be living on, Kyoko began brainstorming her best course of action to reject his offer to help carry her things.
"So, you're moving into the flat on 26 right?" He asked.
Shit. Guess there's no hiding it or keeping a low profile then…
"Uh, yep! My name is Kyoko Mogami, it's nice to meet you." She bowed.
"Sho Fuwa. The offer stands if you'd like some help with these, the gentleman in me would hate to see a cute girl like yourself carry them all on your own." He smiled, bowing as much as he could with the moving box still in his arms.
"It's nice to meet you, Sho. Um..., thank you for the offer, but I think I can manage on my own since the elevator is so close by." She replied, realizing he was still holding her things, her cheeks flushed pink in embarrassment.
"Hmm, alright then. If you insist. I'm on floor 22, and I'll be around the rest of the day if you change your mind." He winked, and handed the box back over into her arms just as the elevator door opened.
Kyoko usually didn't have much trouble getting along with new people, though besides her few friends through work, she didn't have many people in her life to help her with things like moving. If it had been anyone else, she probably would have accepted their offer. But there was something about Sho Fuwa that was putting her on edge, she even felt like her heart was beating faster than usual, she was chalking it up to his attractive face and eccentric fashion sense. The tall man just looked like a bad boy, and she told herself that that was the last thing Kyoko needed in her life, especially a bad boy that lived a few floors below her.
Silence filled the four walls of the elevator on their way up and Kyoko was glad his floor was before hers. When he got off he had lifted his hand in a half wave and said, "See you around, Kyoko." She didn't really want to see him around.
Happy to have her own time to herself again, she hurriedly brought the other four boxes up to her place, glad they were all relatively light, and flew through unpacking everything. Her kitchen had all the necessities for cooking the basics but lacked the groceries, so she began compiling a list. Not knowing how long the walk would be to and from the grocery store in the summer heat, she didn't enjoy the idea of carrying too many bags home so she took longer than usual trying to figure out what items she absolutely needed, and what items she solely wanted. Like chocolate.
The walk to the store was as long as she feared, she spent the majority of it taking in her new surroundings. The street her apartment complex was on was rather busy, and yet a small and quaint park was situated right across the wide road, which she had to walk through to get to the shopping areas. It was a bright and sunny day, the temperature was comfortable, and she was able to take her time on the way to her destination. While she walked Kyoko's mind ran wild. Imagining what it would be like to walk this path with Ren, holding his hand like she often did in their dreams, being truly together in daily life like the couple she wished they were. She tried to remember every tree, and it's placement, the sounds of the songbirds that flew overhead and all the colors of their wings, the light quiet chatter from the few people also taking advantage of the nice day, the bright fuchsias and purples of the blooming azaleas. She was taking all the mental pictures she would need to later recreate the park in her dreams. Since Ren loved nature as much as Kyoko, she naturally expected that he would also like hearing about it and quite possibly enjoy her showing him the glimpses she was able to show him.
With such beautiful scenery, Kyoko was feeling grateful for her move. To have such a magical spot just across the way from her home, she couldn't wait to experience the changes in life that happened in the small woods that inevitably came with each season.