Chapter 110

Taking a cab feels very good, very courageous. It's easy enough to hail one, and to get in by herself, well, that's no problem anymore either, Anne is really strong these days. The driver's box is placed behind and above the passengers' seat, which is open to the front, making it really easy to get in and out of the cab. She tells the driver the name of the place where she wants to go, again, no different from her own little phaeton with Mrs Jenkinson driving. Why didn't she drive those ponies herself? It just never occurred to her. Besides, they were not exactly fast or anything, not like Darcy's thoroughbreds, not even like the single horse pulling this cab, a large white elderly horse, still handsome and with a long stride.

Before long the driver halts in front of a modern building and she hands him the fare he mentions plus a nice tip. He promptly jumps off the high box and offers to hand her out. She must ask Georgiana how much a normal tip is, she doesn't want to stand out after all. Since she does not want to seem arrogant she lets the driver help this time.

Lieutenant Talbot is already waiting for her, he looks more handsome than ever in a civilian coat with his hair done by someone who knows what he's doing.

'Miss de Bourgh, you came.'

He takes her hand and kisses it with elegance and, yes, feeling. He cannot be in love with her, can he? They've met just once before, he must have seen her dance with Frederick and heard the rumours.

'Of course, Lieutenant Talbot, I sent word I would, didn't you get my message?'

'I did, Miss, but I was afraid you wouldn't come. I just couldn't believe you'd come. Some part of me just couldn't believe a beautiful goddess like yourself could ever drink coffee with an ordinary fellow like me.'

Is he serious or is this just his way to flatter the girls he goes out with? What can she say? Anne can't think of anything, fortunately the lieutenant gets a hold of himself and shows her into a lovely modern cafe, to a seat he has apparently reserved for the two of them. They order coffee, and looking around at what other people are having she decides to go for a savoury treat, she's still not entirely comfortable eating sweets, not if her companion might be hurt if she doesn't like it. He is so cute and so shy all of a sudden, he wasn't like this at the camp, was he? He's staring at her as if he's drinking in the sight of her, expecting her to fly off any moment now. Still he manages to speak.

'I hoped to see you again at one of Mr Fielding's concerts, Miss, my friend Ensign Stockwood is seeing Miss Angelina Blackwood, and she told him you always attended the concerts because Mr Fielding is your cousin's fiancée. So I joined them one evening in the hopes of getting a glimpse of you, but you weren't there. I was disappointed.'

So was Anne, but she can't tell him why she hadn't been there.

'I'm sorry you came to see me and I wasn't there. I hope you enjoyed the concert anyway?'

'Oh I did, I did. It was very beautiful, Mr Fielding is very talented. And he and your cousin are such a lovely couple, I bet they cannot wait to be married.'

'Indeed, they cannot. They have so much in common, they practise together all day.'

'What do you expect from life, Miss de Bourgh?' the lieutenant asks lightly.

She replies frankly, 'I don't really know yet, Lieutenant Talbot, I've been ill for so long, I haven't really thought of it. I'm merely trying to have a little fun, like most of you did a few years ago.'

He nods and says, heartfelt, 'I can't imagine what it must be like to be ill for so long. I would be honoured to help you have a good time, Miss, maybe go to a theatre sometimes, or walk through a park. It's such a privilege to be allowed to look at you, Miss de Bourgh, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.'

It's getting rather embarrassing now, Anne knows she looks rather nice, but she still remembers the skinny pale woman in the mirror. She's not thát beautiful, is she?

'I'm sorry, Miss de Bourgh, you're displeased with me, have I offended you in some way?'

Where did the self-assured lieutenant with the easy manners and the badly shooting recruits go? Who replaced him with this adulating teenager? Frankness will have to do, if he cannot handle the truth Anne is out of patience with him.

'It's rather awkward to be praised so excessively, Lieutenant Talbot, I'm not used to such attentions, they make me want to find a place to hide. I liked your easy familiarity at the camp much better.'

'I'm sorry, Miss de Bourgh. I thought young ladies liked to be flattered, but though I can't stop admiring you, I can do it in silence if you prefer that.'

Oh, yes, that is much better, this is more like the real man. He smiles and looks just ravishing.

'I'm not that young anymore, Lieutenant, I'm your own age. And I'd appreciate it if you'd just be yourself.'

'Will you call me Ronald then, Miss de Bourgh?' he says impulsively, 'I'd prefer not to be a lieutenant to you.'

That is going a bit fast, but he is very charming when he is acting normal, and very handsome.

'I will, if you'll call me Anne.'

'Anne. That name always reminds me of royalty, somehow. Sorry, Anne, I promised not to flatter you excessively. Can you forgive me?'

She smiles at him and merely nods, it's very obvious he is smitten for her smile has a devastating effect on him. He manages to suppress it, though, an effort she values greatly, and he picks up their conversation effortlessly and very directly.

'Suppose you start to tire of having fun, do you want to get married and have children?'

Well, she did want to know what he thinks about marriage and it's a great opportunity to let him know she will not be someone's drawing-room ornament.

'I hoped to get married someday, but I've always thought I could never have children, I was so sickly I couldn't imagine ever being able to care for them. I just sat there all day, too tired to eat, too tired even to read or do needlework. I've had a sorry life so far, Ronald, if there is one thing I'm not ever going to do again, it's sit at home all by myself and do nothing. I want to explore the world, travel, maybe learn to ride a horse. Some girls may want to marry a rich man and sit in an expensively-furnished saloon all day, netting purses, drawing or pressing flowers, dreaming of babies, but I'm not one of them. I want to live.'

He nods in understanding but nonetheless replies frankly, 'I do want children, very much so. But I am planning to be a really good father, not a man they hardly see because he is out all day. And I can imagine you wouldn't want to sit inside all day, I've never liked that myself, which is why I chose the army as my profession. They say your cousin Mr Darcy rides out with his wife every day, even in London. I can imagine doing that, I'm not as fond of hunting as some gentlemen are. I prefer not to shoot in my spare time, which you can probably imagine.'

Is he telling her he would not expect her to sit inside and embroider if they were to get married? That he wouldn't leave her with the children? That is cute, but it's so serious! Anne doesn't want to think of marrying this man, she wants to get to know him better. So she asks him questions, about his youth, about his time in the army, and he asks her questions. After an hour, they feel as if they know each other much better, and everything she has learned makes her like the lieutenant more. She can really imagine meeting him more often. Simon's advice is very sensible, to not jump into anything but take a little time to make decisions. She'd like to kiss this man, but of course he would never do such an improper thing, which is kind of disappointing. As she considers what uncle Spencer said about adults and need for love, he catches her eye and asks, 'May I walk you home, Anne? Or do you prefer to take a cab back?'

So he does understand her a little better than she thought at first.

'I'd love to walk, I need to exercise a lot on doctor's orders. But I have to admit I do not know the way, I'd get lost after the first block.'

'Then I have my own admission to make. I do know the way, I explored in the hopes you'd let me walk you home. Angelina told me you liked to walk so I came prepared. Don't you have a chaperone?'

'I don't. I'm an adult, independent woman, and I'm not going to let anyone tell me what to do ever again. Does that shock you?'

'I don't think so, no. We're more or less the same age and you don't see me with a minder. But Angelina and Sophie have one, and my friend tells me he keeps a very close eye on those girls. No sneaking kisses for them, even though it's kind of uncommon to have a male chaperone.'

'I know him, he's like a very strict older brother. But I don't have a brother, nor a father to set me up with a young male attendant. My mother disapproves, no doubt, but she lost her right to rule me when she proved undeserving of my obedience, and now I am truly independent. If that upsets you, I'll take a cab.'

Poor Ronald, he didn't mean it that way at all!

'No, no, please, Anne. I like your spirit, it's what attracted me to you in the first place. Your cousin didn't set me up with you like he did the rest. I was just invited to keep you company, he values my conversation, he wanted me to entertain you. He told me frankly that he expected you to make a much more advantageous match. Which may have influenced my behaviour once I started to like you so much I wanted to see you again. Because you are above me and I realise that very much. I do think you're as beautiful and as intelligent as a goddess, but your story is obviously that of a human being, so sad, and yet it's so heartening to see you have regained your health in spite of the odds. Will you let me walk you home? And may I invite you some other time? I don't mean to claim you or control you, I just like you and want to be with you.'

She likes him even better now, and Fitzwilliam too. He didn't presume to choose a partner for her, well he did, but just for one day, to entertain her, but no more. That is so gratifying. Her lieutenant does know the way to Darcy's house, and since Anne rambles through that neighbourhood almost on a daily basis to get her much-needed exercise she starts to recognise the houses from a few blocks away. And when they near a certain alley she decides on impulse to take Simon's advice and test this man a little more thoroughly than she really should. As they pass the alley she takes his hand and asks, 'Do you want to kiss me?'

Her question staggers him, but Anne is deadly serious. She is still striving to conquer shame, she is serious in not planning to let a man rule her. Marrying a man means she will be legally his property, and she cannot see herself letting go of her independence that way. Not to anyone. Except Frederick. But to marry him, she will have to find her love casually, and kissing Ronald Talbot will only put herself at risk, not him. He can kiss whomever he likes, no-one will blame him for it.

'I can see you're not joking. And I really, really want to kiss you, it may be my only chance. So yes, Anne, I will.'

They enter the alley hand in hand, the houses on opposite sides nearly touch overhead, making the place very gloomy even in broad daylight. Where the alley takes a sharp turn to the right, they step around the corner, embrace and kiss, carefully at first, but more daring as they find each other's style and taste pleasurable.

And it's a very nice kiss, warm and intimate, Anne likes this man a lot. But somehow he cannot make her forget Nick, he's much more acceptable as a partner, and more handsome, his kiss is perfectly fine, he's respectful and even loving, but he's just not right. He doesn't smell right, he doesn't feel right, and she'd have to marry him to be with him. He'd own her.

Lieutenant Talbot doesn't notice her doubts, he relishes having the woman he adores in his arms, resting his head on her shoulder once they have finished their kissing, reluctant to let her leave his arms but not restraining her. She lets him enjoy a few minutes of close contact, then looks up at him, lays her hand in his neck to pull his face towards her, then kisses him on his forehead. He catches on immediately.

'You're not going to fall in love with me, are you, Anne?'

She doesn't see any reason to deny him an answer.

'I don't think so, Ronald, I don't think a traditional marriage is for me. I've been through too much to risk getting caught again.'

Somehow, she even thinks he understands. They leave the alley and walk on, and in front of the house they embrace like friends.

'Thank you for giving me what I never dreamed I'd get, Anne,' he says. 'Somehow I knew you weren't for me.'

'And thank you for your understanding, Ronald.'

'I know I wouldn't make you happy. I guess I have a traditional view on marriage, though you've certainly made me think. Will you be in town much longer?'

'I think another few weeks, until Mr Darcy's family moves to Pemberley.'

'Will you allow me to invite you out again?'

'That would be very pleasant, Ronald, if you don't mind my seeing others.'

'I'll take whatever time I can get with you. And next winter, will you be back in town?'

'Most likely, yes. Though there is a chance I'll be abroad.'

'With Mr Manners. And your cousin and her husband. Vienna, most likely, then. Don't go to France, Anne, it's dangerous.'

'I won't, my French is atrocious. See you around, Ronald.'

'I certainly hope so, Anne, as long as you're free and I'm stationed in London, I will be asking you out once in a while.'

It's only when he is gone, and Johnson is taking her coat, that she realises he may very well be going to France himself, to fight.

While Anne is drinking coffee with Lieutenant Talbot, Nick is being heard in the presence of a judge and jury. His situation is extraordinary in that he is the victim, but not actually the prosecutor in this attempted-murder case. For that is what Mr Blackwood is trying to get Wellesley condemned for, attempted murder, a non-clergyable offence with only one possible punishment should he be convicted: hanging.

As if life isn't difficult enough for Nick at this moment, feeling miserable and lovesick by day, his nights spent in fevered dreams of being with Miss Anne, walking out with her to places he hasn't even seen, visiting the opera in Milan together, riding spirited horses on what his fantasy conjures up as Rosings, the estate she is heiress to. As if he'd ever dare ride a horse. And the loving, they kiss and stroke and make love passionately, her soft white skin under his loving hands, her beautiful face looking at him with tenderness, heat and devotion alternately. The delirious bliss of his dreams makes waking up and realising it was all just a fantasy, a cruel trick of his subconscious, even more painful than merely losing someone you love. Every night his own mind gives him happiness and hope, which is then brutally dashed as soon as he regains his senses.

And now he has to describe everything Wellesley ever did to him to people he doesn't know, when to him the butler has already had his rightful punishment: losing his position and the chance to ever gain a similar one, and a few days in jail awaiting trial. Nick doesn't want him hanged or even sent abroad, though he realises that if the four girls hadn't caught Wellesley in the act of savaging Nick, he would most likely have been brutally murdered.

Mr Blackwood's barrister is very persistent, he wants to see his master triumph.

'So, Mr Fowler, you say the defendant beat you at least once a day for how many weeks?'

Nick sighs and replies, trying to make it all sound a little less dramatic.

'He did not beat me, he cuffed me, and yes, he did that nearly every day, sometimes several times a day, for I guess about a month.'

'And did you give him a reason to beat you? Did you refuse to do your job, or did you do it badly?'

'No, sir, I don't think so. The master and the rest of the staff seemed pleased with my work, and Mr Wellesley never actually complained to me.'

'Do you have any idea why he beat you then? Is he a sadist, an animal in a man's shape?'

This is the point at which Wellesley's barrister would complain that the prosecution is leading the jury, but Wellesley isn't present and Nick has heard he doesn't even have someone to help him defend against the charges. It doesn't seem to be a fair trial at all, since Nick and Wellesley are both commoners the court is of a different level than it would be judging a gentleman's case. But with the prosecutor a gentleman with plenty of money to pay for the best barrister, Mr Blackwood will most likely walk right over poor Wellesley.

'Will you answer my question, Mr Fowler? Are you all right? You seem rather affected.'

The barrister addresses the jury directly, 'Mr Fowler has been suffering some ill effects of the attempt on his life, I have several witnesses stating he hasn't been the same ever since. The numerous blows to the head that he has sustained seem to have lessened his strength.'

Damn him, the clever bastard. Taking advantage of Nick's love-sickness to make him seem feeble-minded and no longer suitable for his work. Better be a bit less distracted or he'll never find a new position when the mistresses get married. Nick makes sure to have his voice sound clear and articulated as he states, 'I am reasonably certain that Mr Wellesley hated me for being very popular with my charges, Miss Angelina Blackwood and Miss Sophie Blackwood, as well as being a favourite retainer to their father. Also, I seem to attract a lot of attention from ladies of every age and walk of life, from the maids to Mrs Blackwood's lady visitors. This may have built up some envy and anger in Mr Wellesley since it often resulted in preferential treatment for me, when he was in fact the highest-ranked servant in the house.'

A general laugh from the jury's side of the room proves they at least have caught onto Nick's hint that he often got proposals that the butler didn't. The barrister is not happy, he wanted Wellesley pictured as a ravening monster, not a mere man with a grudge. Still, he's a good one, and he saves the moment by asking an important question, preventing misconceptions of Nick misusing the power he had over his charges.

'Did your master's daughters also fall into the category of women expecting favours from you, Mr Fowler?'

'Oh, no, sir, they're just girls. They merely showed their appreciation by minding my instructions whenever we went out. You will find they were never alone with me, I have always been very careful to be like an older brother to them. But they wouldn't hear of going out without me, and they would have influenced their father to stand by me instead of the head of his household staff.'

'So you think he perceived you as a threat to his authority, even though you never challenged him directly?'

'Or indirectly, sir. I always minded his instructions and I never talked back or even tried to defend myself against his cuffs, though I am considered a strong man and a formidable fighter.'

'Let it be noted by everyone present that the defendant was proven to be without a single hurt upon his body, whereas according to an expert witness, a doctor unaffiliated with the family, Mr Fowler was beaten to within an inch of his life. Mr Fowler, you were very badly hurt, weren't you, with extensive bruising all over your body, numerous cuts, several broken ribs and a particularly vicious attack on your lower body. Does this to you prove your assailant's motive? Did he target you out of jealousy?'

'Only Mr Wellesley himself can enlighten you on his motives, sir. I would not presume to know them.'

'And if you are known as a competent fighter, Mr Fowler, why didn't you fight to save your life?'

'I merely expected my attacker to vent his anger on me, sir, as he had done numerous times before. I planned to take the resulting evidence of abuse on my body to the master to complain on behalf of the entire staff, it had come to my attention that several of the maids felt threatened as well. Beating up my attacker would have gotten me dismissed, leaving them exposed to their superior's lust for power. By the time I realised my attacker was not going to stop until I was permanently injured or dead, it was too late, I was too weak with the blows to my head and loss of blood to be able to defend myself.'

'And yet when you were saved by the entrance of the two Misses Blackwood and their maids, you did not ask for medical assistance.'

'I'm afraid I did not take my wounds seriously enough, nor did I think those genteel girls would be at all suited to attend to a lowly servant. No-one else was still awake, we had just returned from an evening concert.'

'Then when you woke up in pain later that night and roamed the halls of your master's house in search for help, a similarly genteel girl who was visiting her friends overnight came to your rescue. You didn't find her unsuited to attend to you, did you? For she did help you.'

'By then I was delirious and no longer aware who was helping me. Had I known it was her I would have begged her to wake the cook. I thought she was some angel come to fetch me to heaven, until I woke the next day in my own bed, alive, my whole body stiffened with pain but my wounds cleaned. Then I realised who had saved me.'

Nick doesn't understand, what is this man continuing to ask questions for? They're way past the assault, aren't they? Of what use is this? He's Mr Blackwood's barrister, not Wellesley's, isn't he?

'Was Miss de Bourgh one of the ladies expecting certain services from you, Mr Fowler?'

Well, though in a way this is true, Nick doesn't have to act his indignation.

'Miss de Bourgh was the young mistresses' visitor, sir, and as such my charge and inviolate. I resent your implications, I'm not being prosecuted here, it was I who was beaten half to death, remember?'

'Calm down, Mr Fowler, calm down. I apologise. I was merely trying to find a motive for the defendant's sudden rage, and several witnesses have stated she seemed to like you, asked you to accompany her on walks, to act as intermediary between herself and the cook. Please note that such a preferential treatment of a lower member of the staff by a lady of a renowned family can make a senior servant feel passed over.'

As Nick objects, 'As we discussed at the very start of this interview, Mr Wellesley cuffed me at least once a day before Miss de Bourgh was even introduced to the family,' he suddenly realises it is very possible her kind condescension towards him pushed Wellesley over the edge of reason. She even stood up for Nick once, and chewed Wellesley out right in front of Nick.

'Do you have anything to add, Mr Fowler?'

This barrister is very good, he can see Nick is in doubt.

'Yes, sir. I think you may be right after all. I'm certain Miss de Bourgh was kind to me because she is kind to everyone, and I saw it as my job to help her with anything I could since she was my mistresses' visitor. But we had never entertained a lady of such an exalted family before, and she regularly had a highly respectable gentleman visiting her on top of that. Mr Wellesley must have seen her as his charge, my voluntary services to her stacking insult upon injury in his eyes. I think you may be right that my interaction with her and Mr Manners may have escalated an already volatile situation. I hope you will be able to prove or disprove this with Mr Wellesley's statement, for I have indeed been wondering what drove him to do this, whether I did something to cause it. Thank you.'

'Thank you, Mr Fowler, for your clear and honest statement. As promised, you will not have to face your attacker, since you are not the prosecutor in this case but merely one of the main witnesses. I wish you all the best for your future, and I hope the remnants of your ordeal will soon heal. Does this witness have your permission to depart, gentlemen?'

A spokesperson of the jury now rises and declares, 'We want to thank you for your statement, Mr Fowler, and we want to join in Mr Proust's wish to see you returned to health soon. Please do not consider yourself at fault, no-one deserves to be beaten half to death. But few men have the courage to let themselves be marked to help their colleagues escape a dangerous situation. Good day, Mr Fowler.'

Nick bows deeply to both the jury and the judge, then shakes Mr Proust's offered hand and leaves the room with a sigh of relief. Tomorrow it's the girls' turn, and they will make their statements with Wellesley present. When he enters the hall of the courthouse, Mr Blackwood comes towards him and receives him with a hearty embrace.

'You did well, my son, I'm proud of you. But Proust was right, you do seem affected by all this, are you sure you are all right? You're not suffering from headaches or dizzy spells, are you? You seem so absent at times.'

He is such a kind man, Mr Blackwood. Spending so much money and going through such effort to seek justice for a mere servant. If only Nick could have loved Sophie, he could have been this man's son-in-law. But the very thought is repulsive, he could never have bedded his little sister. Not even before he lost his heart to the most beautiful woman in England.

'There you go again, Nick, you're miles away. I think you should see a doctor, you must have sustained some permanent damage to your brain. I'm so sorry this happened in my house, I feel so bad for you. I know it's very hard on you to relive everything, getting Wellesley convicted won't do you any good, but it needs to be done, people need to know they cannot just bully those below them.'

Nick wants to protest that he feels fine, of course he cannot mention being lovesick, he'll just deny anything is wrong. But before he can say anything, Mr Blackwood continues, 'And please don't worry, Nick, I won't take Sophie and Angelina from you, even if you never get well altogether you can stay with them until they are married, they mind you like they do no-one else. And when they do get married, I won't just let go of you, we'll find a place where you will be happy. You've done so much for us, have given everything, even your health. I will not forget that.'

This is going way too far! If he can't keep his mind from reminiscing and woolgathering, he must tell Mr Blackwood at least part of the truth, or his reputation will be ruined and he will never find a new job. For Nick expects to find another easy job like this without any trouble, Mr Blackwood will give him excellent references and there are girls to be kept safe everywhere. But not if they think he is damaged goods!

'Mr Blackwood, I'm fine, my ribs are still sore but there is nothing wrong with me, really. If I tell you why I've been a bit absent lately will you stop blaming it on trauma? I'll be fine again in a few weeks, this is not physical, I can handle my work, your girls will be as safe with me as ever.'

His master is watching him intently, as if he thinks Nick is lying to keep his reputation.

'I'm not hiding dizzy spells or loss of memory or concentration, sir, I'm a bit lost in love. I'm in love with a girl who doesn't love me, and that makes me feel low and worthless. I'll get over it, please don't tell everyone I'm damaged by getting beaten up, I'm not, I'll lose my reputation for being an alert guard. I need my reputation to find a new job once your girls get married, sir, please help me protect it.'

'You're in love? Without it being returned? You, Nick Fowler, ladies' man, philanderer, master seducer, in love? How can that be, my son? I thought you didn't want to marry my Sophie because you wouldn't be tied to one woman, and now you're in love? Do I know her? I suppose not, Agatha's friends are good for a tumble I guess, but nothing more, and anyway, they love you, more than they love their husbands.'

He knows? And he doesn't mind?

'Oh come on, Nick, I'm not blind, nor stupid. I know what is going on in my own house.'

If only he doesn't know about Miss Anne, then. Please let him not know.

'Staff talk, you know, Wellesley did complain about you every so often, of your giving this house a bad name with the philandering going on. And the cook, he is very proud of your prowess. Wait a second, is that why Agatha's friends are so upset? I had one at my desk just yesterday, crying. Said you broke her heart. I told her you'd been hurt and to come back in a month or so, but now I see. You want to be worthy of your sweetheart. Are you sure she doesn't love you? Everyone else does, Felicity, even Miss de Bourgh's maid. They said you told them you don't do that with colleague's.'

He knows, and he is proud of it? Proud to have a servant who tumbles anything with a skirt? Well, except his wife and daughters, and his female staff. It's almost as if he is disappointed to find Nick reformed, when he should be glad his soul is less in danger now.

'Is there anything I can do to help you win her, Nick? You know I love you like a son, if you'd been able to love Sophie I'd have made you my business partner, I can do that anyway. I suppose with my daughters both dating an officer there is not much chance of finding my successor there.'

Nick is stunned and cannot say anything at all for a whole minute. Why didn't his master ever say something? Now it's too late, too late for a partnership as well.

'Thank you so much for your kind offer, Mr Blackwood, I really appreciate it. But I'm not as good with figures as I am with ladies, I never went to school much, I'd be a hindrance to you instead of an asset, I'm afraid. And it wouldn't help, the girl I'm in love with is too good for me, I may be in love now but who says I'll stay that way? I've never felt this way before, what if she were to come to love me and I start philandering again? I love her too much to do that to her, it can never be. I think I'll get over it soon enough, and I'll mind your girls until they marry, then find myself another family with something precious to keep an eye on.'

'She doesn't even know you're in love with her?'

'She doesn't, and she never will. It's not meant to be, I'm not a man a girl should put her trust in. I'll try to hide it better, be more like myself.'

'Nick, you're making me sad. She may be in love with you already and you're ignoring her because you think you're no good? Look at you, you're young, strong and handsome. You're kind, and loving, and faithful. Who says you didn't just need to meet the right one? Why do you think you'll be back to your old habits? Please think about my offer, Nick, I wasn't planning to let you work with figures. I was planning to put you in sales, you're good with people, they trust you instantly, I think you can become my best salesman once you learn more about the goods I trade in.'

He's making it worse, though he means well. What if Nick never manages to forget Miss Anne, what if his love for her doesn't go away? Well, in that case a new job would be the perfect solution. Working hard learning a new trade, no time for regrets or vain wishes, no chance of meeting her by accident. Maybe he should consider it, no-one will be as lenient towards him as Mr Blackwood is, that is a certainty.

'Thank you for your kindness, Mr Blackwood. I will consider your offer since it may be what I need when your daughters marry, a change of scene, working days instead of evenings. Can we talk about it when either Miss Sophie or Miss Angelina has set a date for her wedding?'

'I'm glad about that, Nick, though I wish you'd give the girl a chance to have her say. Maybe she does love you. But it's your life, and I'm not your father or your mother. I'll keep my peace about your spells of absent-mindedness, and about your fall from philandering, and should you want to take that back up, don't mind us, just be as discrete as you always were. Are you certain you don't want to sit in tomorrow? See your tormentor get what he deserves? Never mind, I can see you don't. You must be a better man than I am, not to feel a need for retribution. If it makes you unhappy to have him hanged I'll see he gets pardoned, don't lie awake at night over Wellesley after what he did to you. But an example has to be set, Nick, so he will be judged. Lower-ranked staff have rights as well as butlers, though you will always be my favourite, no matter what happens.

Now, go home and take some rest, there's another concert tonight. Aren't the girls bored of them by now? Maybe you should plan some really spectacular outings, you know, before they settle. Then we'll invite Miss de Bourgh, I liked having her around, such a beautiful young woman. And I think very smart as well. It can't hurt to be friends with her amant either, Mr Manners knows everyone of any consequence. Though he may not appreciate her going to the places the girls like to visit. Well now, I'm waiting for Proust, you be off. See you soon, Nick.'

And Nick does as he is told, heading back to the Blackwood house on foot, eager to find a few moments by himself to contemplate everything that has happened.