Chapter 113

Something must have happened yesterday for Anne is more beautiful than ever. Georgiana can hardly believe how less than a month can make such a difference in her cousin's appearance, but it's undeniable. It's not merely that she has gained a lot of weight and in all the right places. There is more going on, she is wearing a dress Georgiana has never seen before but that's not it either, it's like her cheeks are blushing with more than just health, she looks happy, carefree. Her breakfast is disappearing rapidly, and she looks ready to burst with some news.

'Better tell us the good news, Anne, or you'll burst at the seams.'

Frederick treats Anne with such regard, if Georgiana didn't know better she'd think he was in love with her. Look at him beaming. But Georgiana wants to say something first.

'You're still growing more beautiful, Anne, if not by the day at least by the week. And you have a new dress I'm sure.'

The poor, love-starved Anne who came to stay with uncle Spencer has been relegated to the past, this is a fashionable, self-assured young woman ready to face the world.

'Thank you for telling me, Georgiana. Part of me still feels like the emaciated, tired girl I used to be, it's so nice to be reminded I'm alive now. And you are right, it is a new dress, I bought it a few days ago on a shopping expedition with Frederick, Simon and Dora. We went to Miss Filliger's place and chose some nice dresses, I've gained so much weight I had plenty to choose from. I bought Dora one, too, she's been so faithful to me, and she is learning to become a real lady's maid so fast. I thought it might help her give testimony if she could wear a pretty new dress.'

Right, the courthouse, they were going to testify for Mr Blackwood, who was prosecuting a former employee for assaulting another servant.

'And, did the dress work?' Georgiana asks.

'I guess it did, Dora was pleased with the proceedings. And Frederick, my big news is that Mr Blackwood sent word, he is calling this afternoon to give us the latest news on the case. He's bringing Fowler, who apparently wants to thank Dora and me for our testimony. You know I felt a bit guilty towards Fowler, I convinced him he had to stand up for himself to help the other staff, and then he nearly got killed. I'm glad he's all right.'

'Your reasoning is not sound, Anne. Standing up for the others didn't get him beaten up, had he stood up against the butler he would most likely have been the one on trial. You convinced him to take it to his master, which had nothing to do with the assault.'

Anne's reasoning unsound? That cannot be, something must be going on to make her cousin less than objective. Maybe Georgiana should contrive to be present, to take a good look at Anne when she meets this servant. Wait a minute, 'Is it the one with the shiners? Who always herds his charges away from Eric so expertly?'

'That's Fowler, yes.'

Georgiana nods, she remembers him well. Very capable, none too happy lately with his charges being obsessed by a couple of officers new to their party.

'Wasn't one of those girls of his here with cousin Fitzwilliam yesterday? What was her name, Miss Sophie? They seemed quite smitten, I was so happy to see cousin Fitzwilliam so interested in another woman. Your Mr Fowler will be looking for a new job soon, I guess.'

Does Anne blush the tiniest bit? It's difficult to see, her colour was already high. But Georgiana does not want to embarrass her cousin, so she quickly adds, 'I hope the news will be good, but Mr Blackwood's message suggests it.'

'I haven't seen those girls at my concerts for a few days now,' Eric observes. 'They weren't that interested in me anymore, I guess they grew up and fell in love with a more deserving man. But they sure were faithful fans while it lasted.'

It's his hurt expression that makes his remark hilarious, and they all laugh, Anne as well, and then she changes the subject with a question of her own.

'Speaking of dresses, Georgiana, have you already chosen one for the wedding?'

She certainly has, Miss Filliger is making one of Simon's 'not actually wearable in normal life' stack for her, of sky-blue silk.

'It's nearly done, Anne, and it's so elaborate I'm going to need some extra courage to dare wear it. It seemed like such a good idea, wear a real stunner of a gown then tell Mr Goodfellow, who is invited as Eric's friend of course, that it is not imported from France but made in a tiny shop in a large shopping centre in Cheapside. Everybody goes bonkers, and we go to Pemberley for a few months of well-deserved rest.'

'I'm sure you will survive the experience, Georgiana, you're used to being watched and judged by now. Are you planning a honeymoon?'

'Pemberley will be our honeymoon as much as it was Elizabeth's and Fitzwilliam's. We're saving our money to buy a new piano, I've fallen in love with one and I want to take it with me. Not just to Pemberley, but wherever we go. Even if we reach Vienna. But it's made of mahogany so I suspect it will be dreadfully expensive.'

'Are you really going to Vienna?'

'Sure,' Georgiana replies, 'if we get the chance. It will cost a fortune, even without the piano.'

Eric doesn't seem so sure anymore, the more likely it becomes they will be received well by one of Mr Clementi's many contacts, the less enthusiastic her beloved seems to become. Frederick has noticed, too.

'What's wrong, Eric? I thought it was your dream to go to Vienna?'

Her beloved's handsome face clearly shows his hesitation and he slowly explains, framing his words carefully.

'It was, Frederick. But that was before I met the love of my life and she turned out to be just sixteen, and as talented as myself. Crossing the channel and travelling long distances is extremely tiring both physically and mentally.'

Now he looks straight at Georgiana and adds, 'After seeing Mrs Collins I'm very afraid to find you in the same condition, my love, somewhere in the middle of Germany, or worse, in the Alps. It's enough to give me nightmares.'

Georgiana can see he is deadly serious, he's so sweet and concerned she just cannot be angry or upset, though she doesn't worry about it herself. There will be excellent midwives in Vienna as well as in London, and Eric's German is just perfect. She sits on his lap and puts an arm on his shoulder, and he rests his head on her chest.

'Babies announce themselves clearly, my love. It will be very easy to make sure we are near a good midwife and even a good doctor, we'll have months to prepare. Women give birth all the time, you know, it needn't be as bad as you imagine.'

She is not going to let fear rule her life. As soon as they are married they will love each other, and if getting with child is the consequence, so be it. The Gardiners have four children, but it has never withheld them from living their lives as pleases them.

'Georgiana, Eric,' Anne now offers, very much embarrassed to speak up. 'There are ways to prevent that, you know. Most people don't talk about it, but it can be done.'

She seems to suddenly realise how incongruous that sounds from her, blushes beet red and shuts up.

But that is too much for Eric, who blurts out, 'Please, Anne, I don't even want to know how and where you learned it, but we do need to know about those things, Georgiana and I. I don't mind having children, I love children, but not while we're travelling, it's just too dangerous.'

Anne relents, and still blushing furiously she tells them of ways to prevent conception and where to get them. It's impossible not to be curious who told her, and most importantly, why, but it's clear Eric will stick to his promise not to ask. In fact, he will probably not even speculate, he is so obviously relieved to know he will be able to give Georgiana what she insists on getting once they are married, and still greatly reduce the risk of finding her with child before they are safely settled. When Anne is done, she obviously feels very embarrassed about her slip of the tongue, but Eric takes her hand across the table and urges, 'Please don't feel bad about this, Anne, you've made me a very relieved and happy man. More young couples should know, it will make building up a future together so much easier. Thank you.'

And again, Frederick proves he is truly a people's person, and a lot closer to Anne than Georgiana imagined possible, for he observes without a single sign of embarrassment, as if he is discussing an article in the papers, 'Maybe you should tell Elizabeth, too, Anne. I've seen her look at Mrs Collins in horror and both her sisters are already with child. I suppose some families are very prolific, but take it from me that too many children are a very bad idea in a landowner's family; it breeds inequality and discontent.'

Well, cousin Fitzwilliam certainly has suffered from being a second son, and Georgiana cannot imagine Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth wanting more than two or three children.

'Since we're being rather forthright anyway,' Eric now starts, 'there is something on my mind that I haven't even dared tell my beloved yet. May I tell you now, and find out your opinion as well as hers?'

Whatever can Eric be troubling himself about that he cannot discuss with her? Georgiana can't think of a single thing, unless it is leaving her behind when he goes to Vienna. The others nod their assent, Anne undoubtedly glad to have the conversation turn to a different subject.

'I wonder whether we should invite Mr Zumpe to our wedding, my love. He and Mrs Zumpe were like parents to me, it was very painful for me to have fallen out, as it obviously was for them. It seems he has accepted the situation as it is now, and I'm sure Mrs Zumpe never lost faith in me. I'd like them to be there.'

'Then by all means let's invite them, my love!' Georgiana says, and straight from the heart. Mr Zumpe touched her greatly when they visited him, he seemed so very sorry for what had happened, and his wife apparently never had anything to do with the situation between her husband and the man she raised as a son.

'Shouldn't we ask your brother first? Mr Zumpe was not very respectful towards him, he may still hold it against my former patron. I won't invite him without Darcy's consent, but I wanted your opinion first on whether to even consider inviting him.'

'If you want them there, invite them. It's the most important day in your life, Eric.'

Frederick is clear enough. Anne adds, 'But if you feel better with Darcy's consent, I'd wait for him to return before you ask. A few days won't make a difference.'

Georgiana is sure Fitzwilliam won't mind, it's their wedding and they can have whoever pleases them. But she can imagine Eric feeling uncomfortable inviting such a character without consulting the man who is letting him wed his sister and who is paying for the wedding. Anne is right, if it makes Eric feel better, he'd better ask first.

'I'm sure Fitzwilliam won't mind, Eric, but you can ask him first. I'm sure Mr Zumpe will be pleased, he seems to have accepted reality.'

Darcy himself is not exactly thinking of weddings at that very moment. After another pleasant day of rambling and roving, and a night at the Theatre Royale with Mr and Mrs Kemble and all their friends, they have taken leave of their landlady and are now ready to take leave of Lydia as well. She is waiting for them outside, and blast if that isn't Wickham standing there beside her, Darcy wasn't expecting his brother-in-law to be there since he must be rather busy with his new position in the rifles.

Frankly, Elizabeth doesn't seem too pleased to see him either, and she takes care to let her husband hand her out of the carriage, not offering Wickham a glimmer of a chance to steal in. She does hug him familiarly, he is her brother after all, and kisses him goodbye. Then she embraces her sister with feeling.

'I'm sorry to leave you already, Lydia, but I'm very glad you have such good friends here. Will you keep us informed on how you are all doing?'

'Of course, Lizzy, thank you so much for being nice and buying all those beautiful things for me. And for taking me to Mr Blaze, I feel so much better now.'

Then Darcy can no longer listen in on his wife and her sister, for Wickham has approached him and says with some feeling, 'Thank you for what you did for me, Darcy, I know it was a lot, especially after what happened between us. It's exactly as I hoped, the Rifle Corps, and it seems we will be moving south towards Kent after our first six months of drill here. I'm glad, it's better for Lydia to be close to her family, we're certainly going to be deployed as soon as we're ready. We're needed. Though I don't think I'll tell her just yet, she's only just starting to get over her loss. I suppose I'm finally starting to get the feeling I belong somewhere, in the army, in the family. I know you're not pleased to see me, but I don't know whether I'll ever get to see any of you again, and I thought I'd like to thank you and say goodbye to your wife just in case. You're a lucky fellow, Darcy, but I suppose you know that.'

Darcy still has very little to say to Wickham, he merely pretends he is riding his sensitive black horse to stop himself from feeling jealous or irritated. And it seems to work, he even manages to formulate a few words.

'Good luck, George. Digging up memories with Anne I remembered we used to be good friends. I suppose I've been trying to honour those memories.'

And that will have to do, Wickham will get no more from him. But he is actually a bit affected, he looks as if he wants to ask after Anne, but seeing Darcy's face he merely bows and mumbles, 'Thank you.'

Then Darcy embraces his noisy sister-in-law, now a lot less obnoxious. Although? She clings to his neck and admonished him, 'Now you make sure you give my sister a baby soon, Mr Darcy. I want a nephew or niece as soon as possible, and Lizzy is ever so much older than I am.'

Wickham looks resigned at first, then throws Darcy a significant look, as if he wants to say, 'See, you won.'

And Darcy did, he is very much aware of that, enabling him to reply kindly, 'I will do my very best, Lydia. You take it easy and trust your friends and Mr Blaze. Will you give Abbey my regards?'

'I will, Mr Darcy. I'll miss both of you very much. Oh, I wish you could stay here for much longer! Give my love to Jane and Kitty and your sister, too, Mr Darcy.'

They kiss, and Lydia releases him.

Elizabeth is talking to Wickham now, he has his eyes cast down, something happened between those two and his beloved came out first. He's not even trying to call her by her Christian name anymore, it's Mrs Darcy for and after. No jealousy flares up in Darcy, though Wickham still obviously admires Elizabeth. Somehow it doesn't matter anymore, Wickham has finally accepted his loss, as if he ever had a chance at her, and now they will all move on.

Elizabeth actually ruffles Wickham's hair, as if he is a boy, then kisses her sister one last time and moves towards the carriage. Following her closely, Darcy hands his beloved into the carriage and signals Bob it's time to leave.

If Anne still feels shame over her slip of the tongue this morning, Frederick can't see it. They've talked it over by themselves, in Simon's cosy room in the servants' quarters, somehow Anne trusts Simon unconditionally, not that she has reserves towards himself, it's just that Simon seems to draw her out merely by his presence. It's almost enough to make a man jealous. Of Anne. Though the outside world knows nothing of their involvement, Frederick worships Simon and would prefer to keep him to himself for always.

Why marry, then? Why not move to a quiet place and be together all the time? It can be done, Frederick is sure. But he knows they would both go mad within weeks without company and liveliness. And hinting at getting married got him so much general approval, it has shown Frederick that his friends at least have been expecting him to make a match for some time now. A man of good fortune and acceptable looks has to get married, or suspicion will be his part forever.

Simon really approved of Nick telling Anne everything he knew about making love safely.

'I think it's so sweet, to face losing someone you love and still do your utmost to prepare her for the world outside. I can't wait to get to know him even better. So Miss Sophie Blackwood said he hadn't received any ladies since you left? That is amazing, Anne, he must really love you a lot. Usually his kind try to deny it first, increasing their conquests to prove themselves they still can. Until they find out loose contacts just don't do it for them anymore. Nick is a smart man. Do you want to see him alone?'

'I don't think that can be done, Simon, he is accompanying Mr Blackwood. But I'll be very glad to just look at him for an hour, maybe sit next to him.'

'We'll want to get Mr Blackwood to think the two of you good friends, Simon, to give Nick an excuse to visit.'

'I can't do anything, Frederick, I'm stuck behind the scenes. It's up to you, or Anne. Or maybe not, I'll make sure to serve the coffee, if that helps at all. But Anne, should you be able to steal away, be very careful of Johnson, he's still not above suspicion as a spy in our household. Better let Nick know, too, as soon as possible. Imagine the headlines if Johnson catches you two kissing. Welcome to our world, Anne, it's not that bad, but you have to be careful.'

Anne is in a flutter and she knows that is dangerous. Just this morning she let something slip that she shouldn't have, or at least should have given more thought before divulging, since it must have raised the question where she gained such knowledge. Besides being incredibly awkward. Of course Eric was so relieved to know that it was worth the embarrassment eventually, but she needs to realise it's that easy to give herself and Nick away. Or Frederick and Simon, which would be infinitely worse.

Trying to control her excitement she imagines what Mr Blackwood is coming to tell her. The trial was a success and Wellesley will hang. That's not a good thing, for it will make Nick very unhappy. Good, that sobers her mood instantly, and she can at least eat her lunch and pretend to be a normal person. Mr Blackwood must not see her making eyes at Nick, of course he'd mostly be very proud of Nick, but that is not the point: no-one must know, if only to protect Frederick. If she cannot see the challenge in keeping a secret, she cannot marry Frederick for the world and live with Nick for herself. Silence is golden and her duty to those she has come to love.

And when Nick enters the drawing-room in the company of his master she can see he has similar problems. A broad, infatuated smile is trying to form on his beloved face constantly, he has to keep wiping it off, even though Mr Blackwood soon gives his news and it isn't what would please Nick at all.

'Well, Miss de Bourgh, your testimony and especially your maid's really helped our case; Wellesley was found guilty and sentenced to hang for attempted premeditated murder. I've already appealed to have his sentence reduced, since Nick practically begged me not to let someone die for him.'

Mr Blackwood has settled in a comfortable chair, but Nick is looking rather forlorn now, he is not used to sitting down in company and has no clue whether he is allowed to. Anne feels his sad expression pulling on her heartstrings, he must feel very bad about Wellesley being convicted, and she cannot help catching his eye and inviting him to sit next to her on a sofa. The broad smile is back instantly, tugging on the corners of his mouth, making him forget his tormentor's fate.

'Mr Blackwood told me they gave you quite a hard time over me?' Nick asks, serious once more. 'Asked all kinds of impertinent questions?'

Well, she can't deny that, the barrister did.

'They did, yes, it was rather embarrassing. But it was to gain insight in your attacker's motive, wasn't it?'

'I'm sorry if you were put to inconvenience for me, Miss de Bourgh. You are right, though, I really needed to know why he did it, it's not a little thing when someone tries to beat you to death. I almost thought I had done something to deserve it. Then when he was heard he did say he hated me for being a favourite with everyone without having to work for it. He could not accept ladies wanting me and not him, even the maids spurned him and encouraged me. Then when even you, a true lady and miles above me as he said, were nice to me, protected me from his anger and from the master, he started to plan my downfall. He admitted to losing his control, to it being due to the girls' interruption that he did not kill me. Why, Miss? Why did he hate me so, and why did he admit it? Had he told the jury he planned to hurt me a little then leave me be they would have believed him and spared him.'

The smile is gone and Nick is truly upset, what can she do? She wants to hold him and comfort him but she shouldn't with Mr Blackwood present. But she has forgotten that gentleman's strange morals, for he says softly, 'He has been feeling so guilty, Miss de Bourgh, I am at my wits' end. Nothing I can say will convince him this had to be done and it was none of his fault. I hoped you might be able to calm him down a little, you were so good to him when he was hurt, when you left the heart just went out of him. Come Nick, you smiled when you came in, please take heart, I'll make sure they don't execute him. Mr Manners, can't you reason with him?'

Anne doesn't even dare touch Nick, for she knows one of them will break and they will be clutched together and kissing passionately. But Frederick gestures at her, he thinks it's all right to give Nick some attention. Apparently it's why Mr Blackwood decided to visit. So she dares to sit right next to Nick and put an arm around him. Her touch causes him to shudder and he settles against her shamelessly. Checking out Mr Blackwood, Anne can see he is pleased more than anything, is he onto them or is he just very naïve? Or maybe he doesn't care about propriety at all. If he doesn't care, she doesn't either, and she relishes holding the man she loves, until he looks up at her and smiles sweetly. He isn't feeling that bad at all, this is all mostly a ruse to get Anne to hold him.

Suppressing an impulse to let go of him to show him she will not be manipulated, she decides that will give him away to Mr Blackwood so she doesn't, but she does pinch him to let him know she is not amused. His smile changes to a pout, and he sits back up and says humbly, 'I'm sorry, Miss de Bourgh, I don't want to be a nuisance.'

He is so cute when he does that, now she wants to kiss him even more! But she has to prove herself to Frederick, she can pretend nothing is going on between them as well as he does with Simon, and Nick will learn.

'It's all right, Nick, we all have our moments of weakness. And you were in a very bad way, I do remember.'

'I've heard most convicts are in fact never hanged, Nick, only pirates and murderers. I suppose your attacker will be pardoned and either sent to a colony or released. If he is, aren't you afraid to meet him again on a dark night?'

'I hope I do, Mr Manners, I hope I do. Then I'll pay him back part of what he gave me, striving to control myself to not risk being hanged. I could have thrashed him, I held back too long for fear of being dismissed. You're good sir, no-one can feel sorry for himself with you around, I suspect. Thank you.'

And that's the court case. With Nick by her side, Anne hears Mr Blackwood's praise of Colonel Compton, such a polite and kind man. Apparently he has called on Sophie already, and listened to her playing Italian songs on the piano. Angelina is still seeing her ensign, but she has assured her father she is merely enjoying herself, and not to count on her marrying him. They're still looking for another kind of entertainment, now their admiration for Mr Fielding has waned a little.

'Will you join them when they find something new, Miss de Bourgh? If Mr Manners doesn't mind, that is?'

Frederick almost chokes, and Anne too, but not with laughter. As if Frederick can tell her what to do!

'I don't have a right to tell Miss de Bourgh what to do, Mr Blackwood,' he chortles, 'and will most certainly refrain from having an opinion on what she should not do. Miss Anne is an independent woman, and she decides for herself.'

'But, but...I thought you were engaged?'

'Unfortunately, Miss de Bourgh is keeping me in suspense, Mr Blackwood. If we were engaged I don't doubt it would be all over the papers. But even if I were to convince Miss Anne to accept my hand and my heart, I'd still not presume to tell her what to do. She has as much right to be free as I have. If she wants to join her friends in an outing, I'm sure she will be perfectly safe in the hands of Fowler and his colleagues.'

Simon has come in with the coffee, and Nick gets up and hands him a box which he was carrying when he came in and placed on the table before sitting down. He says something to Simon that Anne cannot understand, and Mr Blackwood asks, 'Is that your friend, Nick?'

Nick bows in acknowledgement and replies gladly, 'Yes, sir, this is Simon. He's Mr Darcy's valet and you're also housekeeper, aren't you, Simon?'

Simon bows for Mr Blackwood and replies, 'I keep house together with Mrs Annesley, yes. Pleased to meet you, Mr Blackwood.'

'And you, Simon. Nick has mentioned the two of you taking a liking to each other last time you met, and I've told him, if you want to go chase the ladies together sometimes, I'll make arrangements to have him dropped off here after my daughters' evening's entertainment. If he can stay overnight, that is. Of course you're welcome to come over to our place, if you can afford transport.'

Has anyone ever heard of a gentleman indulging his servant that way? Anne cannot imagine Darcy letting Simon go out all night to entertain himself. As Simon serves the coffee, Nick opens the box and starts sharing out slices of pie on plates Simon has taken from the buffet. Anne recognises it when Nick hands her a piece, it's the pie from the Old Rookery!

When they have finished their coffee and their fabulous treat, Anne thanks Mr Blackwood heartily for remembering. The gentleman smiles indulgently and observes, 'My pleasure, Miss de Bourgh, but it was Nick who came up with the idea when I asked him how we could thank you for your kind appearance at the courthouse. We've brought some for your maid as well, to share with the rest of the staff. I think Nick would like to bring it over in person, if you don't mind?'

Though Anne does mind, there is nothing she can do to keep Nick from leaving the room.

'I don't think Dora has ever had such a treat, she will be so pleased. Of course it's fine if Nick takes it out back himself. You know the way, don't you, Nick?'

'I do, Miss de Bourgh, and I'm glad you liked the pie. Do you want me to bring it now, sir?' Nick asks his master.

'That will be fine, my boy, and you need not hurry back. I'll be perfectly fine with Miss de Bourgh and Mr Manners.'

Is he leaving her just like that? She was looking forward to at least being able to watch him for the duration of the visit. That'll teach her to get so excited about something, it always turns out a disappointment.

'Remember our last conversation, Mr Blackwood?' Frederick now offers.

'I certainly do,' the kind man replies, 'you seem to have an extraordinary grasp of business for a landed gentleman, Mr Manners.'

'Thank you, Mr Blackwood,' Frederick replies. 'I'd like to continue that discussion, for I'm thinking of investing in your line of produce, but of course among my peers it's frowned upon to have one's own company. I thought maybe we could reach a mutually satisfying arrangement, Mr Blackwood. But that is no talk for a young lady, we do not want to bore Miss de Bourgh to death.'

Mr Blackwood really wants the connection to Mr Manners, that is obvious, and though Anne wonders whether Frederick really wants to do business with their guest, she also recognises the opportunity he is offering her.

'Don't mind me, gentlemen,' Anne offers. 'I've a mind for some music, and I think Mr Fielding and Miss Darcy are practising upstairs. Will you send for me before you leave, Mr Blackwood? I'd like to send my regards to Angelina and Sophie.'

'That is no problem at all, my dear child. I'll send Nick over to fetch you when he returns.'

Dear Frederick, to keep the old man busy so Anne can have an hour with Nick. Now to find him without alerting Johnson. But of course Nick and Simon are both adepts at this game. Anne hasn't even left the room altogether before running into Simon, who takes her to his own room, saying, 'I've work to do in the little study, I can spare you my room for the short time Nick can stay. It'll be easier if he can really come over in the evenings, for most of the staff will be out of the house at that time of the day. You wait here, I'll send him over. Be very careful leaving, let Nick go first to check out the hall. You shouldn't really be here, but Frederick has already confused the boundaries between front and back of the house, you've been seen here with him on plenty of occasions. Enjoy.'

And he kisses her on her forehead, as if giving her his blessing. He's about Anne's age, but somehow Simon seems so much more experienced with life.

Simon's room is really cosy, much larger than Nick's room, of course he's the resident housekeeper now, it's his duty to receive everyone coming to the house, front and back, whenever Johnson and Mrs Annesley are out, and he is in charge of a lot of the household's finances. Simon will certainly be missed when he leaves for the continent with Frederick, and not just because he does his work well. He also makes the house a safe and pleasant place to work for the rest of the staff, Dora is really fond of him. As Anne admires the way in which Simon has made his room comfortable and stylish without spending a fortune on fabrics and ornaments, she can hear the door open. She turns around and feels her heart skip a beat at the sight of the man who has been in her dreams for weeks now. Nick is almost shy now they're together once more, as if he cannot believe this is really happening.

'Miss,' he manages to say, the slick ladies' man speechless for once.

'It's Anne, Nick. I'm not your mistress.' And she offers him her hands. He takes both, and kisses them one by one, his voice back to normal by now.

'But I am your slave, Anne, you are so beautiful and I've missed you so much. I just couldn't believe it when you said you'd rather have me than a gentleman. Did Frederick set this up?'

'Actually, I think he just took advantage of your master letting you leave the room. I bet Mr Blackwood expects you to be having some fun with Dora.'

That surprises Nick, but he nods. 'You are right, of course. You're so beautiful, and so smart. How can it be that you say you love me? I'm nobody.'

Well, Anne is not that special either, she still isn't used to people calling her beautiful, though of course she can see the change in her looks in the mirror.

'You're just so nice, Nick. Like Frederick, he's the same, always friendly, always prepared to be kind or helpful. Though I lust for your body, too.'

That breaks some kind of spell, and they grab for each other and are soon kissing and groping with heat, no longer wondering about anything but relishing the moment. Buttons are undone, and garments are flying, and soon they are lying on the bed stark naked, stroking and kissing and tasting.

'We can't...you know, I didn't expect this so I didn't come prepared.'

That's too bad, but there must be plenty of other things they can do, and of course they find one suited to their mood of excited passion. Nick is very experienced and is soon making her pant and groan by lying between her legs and licking her most intimately. He has turned around to reach her, which makes it very easy to reciprocate, causing him to groan as well. It's very intimate and very good to be connected this way, and of course very exciting as well. It doesn't take long for her to reach a shuddering climax, and soon after that Nick signals her to let go of his manhood, just in time to spill his seed in her hand. It's a bit awkward to get rid of it in someone else's room, but fortunately Simon has the luxury of his own washstand, and Anne rinses off the sticky mess while Nick pours the water from the ewer. Their wild passion satisfied, they lie back on the bed for some serious snuggling and stroking, Anne almost ready to cry for joy at the feel of Nick's loving little kisses all over her face and throat.

She strokes his face, the bruises almost faded and the cuts healed, but still pink in colour. They'll always be there, reminding Anne of a very special night, though to Nick they'll probably signify pain and shock. Then she looks at his chest, it's as broad and muscular as ever, but she never did see any evidence of the broken ribs below it. Caressing it lightly she asks, ''How are your ribs, Nick? Do they still bother you?'

'A tiny bit, yes. But they are improving rapidly, I think they'll stop hurting pretty soon now. Remarkable, isn't it? I'll bear the scars of those cuts forever, but they didn't cause me half as much pain as those ribs. And the pain of them was nothing compared to the pain of being separated from you.'

'So what happened, Nick? I thought you didn't fall in love? I was ready to share you with anyone you liked, I had fallen in love with you against your warnings, against my better judgement. And now I hear you haven't had a lady over since I left?'

Oh, the look of adulation in those brown eyes, Anne fears to melt.

'I plead guilty, Miss de Bourgh,' he breathes in her ear, 'please do not punish me too harshly for lying to you. I didn't know myself, I expected life to just go on without you but it didn't. Those ladies had to leave without getting their due, one even bothered Mr Blackwood in his office, crying, complaining I'd broken her heart. I had to confess having fallen in love to him, Anne, he blamed my lowness and absence of mind on my brain having been damaged, I couldn't have my reputation ruined. I didn't know you still wanted me and besides, you can't marry a servant. I needed to secure my ability to make a living.'

'But you didn't tell him it was me you'd fallen for, did you?'

'Of course not, my love, he adores you, he'd have me flogged for my insolence!'

'He can't do that, can he? Have you flogged?'

'No my dear, he can't. He can fire me and withhold references, nothing worse. And don't worry, you've heard him, he considers you as good as engaged to Mr Manners. I suppose he does think it's Dora I'm in love with, which is why he probably sent me off to the back just now.'

'Do you mind, my getting engaged with Frederick?'

He does, she can see it.

'I don't understand why we can have an affair but not just get married. You have enough money to live on, don't you? And I don't mind working for a living.'

'We could marry, but it would mean losing my position in society. We'd have no social life, I'd lose my family, and Rosings, and worst of all Nick, from the moment of our marriage you'd legally own me and all my possessions. I'd deliver myself and my fortune to you to do with as pleased you. You're a philanderer, you said so yourself. I love you, but that is a lot of faith to have in someone who once told me he had no wish to marry, have children, or commit himself to one person. You know my past, I can't risk becoming a prisoner again.'

The brown eyes widen, he did not realise all that.

'I don't want to own you, Anne. But do you want Mr Manners to own you?'

'Marrying him means improving my position in society, being invited everywhere, having a partner in crime with whom to play the society game. I'd love that. Of course he'd own me, too, but he's not interested in that. He wants my name, my connections, and my company, but not my money or my estate, he has plenty of his own. And he needs me as much as I need him: he needs to marry for people are starting to wonder why he is still single. Soon they'll start to talk. Getting married to him would be great fun, though we'd both have to sneak around to find love. But should you find yourself bored with me, you can just leave, and I'd find someone else to love.'

'Can it be done? Keep one's love secret?'

'Frederick has been doing it for a little over three months, and only one person found out.'

She can't help the pride sounding in her voice.

'You. You found out he was seeing someone. She must be a very low woman, Anne, he could easily marry a servant or even a whore, she could never take his fortune from him.'

'But loving a servant would get him thrown out of society, Nick, and Frederick thrives on society. As do we, let's be honest. You love being around people as much as I do. Imagine him and me playing the game in the front of the house, among the rich and noble. And you moving among their servants, hearing the gossip and filtering out the bits of truth from among it, comparing notes with us.'

'Like Simon does for him now, you mean.'

'Tell me you wouldn't love doing that.'

'I can't, because I would love it. I thrive on gossip as much as the two of you.'

'And you would be a servant in name only, there would be no real work for you to do. And no more humility towards a master, and you'd get your share of the luxuries.'

'You make a very strong case, dear Anne. Have you made your decision already, then?'

'I have not, Nick. I thought I was going to try to forget you first, remember? Frederick kept telling me you loved me and all would be well, but I didn't believe him. Philanderers generally do not change their habits. My mother often complained about her younger sister's husband, who couldn't stop chasing the ladies. Simon advised me to take my time deciding. That seemed like a very sensible thing to do, I guess I'm still doing it.'

'You seem to know him well, Anne, and he is such a likeable man. Handsome, too. I think I'm jealous. I still cannot believe you really love me, when so many much more deserving men are vying for your attention. What if you're just feeling sorry for me?'

He is cute when he is like this, and she probably did fall in love with him because he had been so incredibly sweet when he was in pain. But does it matter? She cannot seem to forget him. Besides, he can't really be shy, he just told her how one of his ladies went to Mr Blackwood to complain that he had broken her heart, and he once warned Anne not to expect anything. He is used to women falling for him, she is sure.

'Don't talk nonsense, Nick. Ladies like you, you knew I'd fall for you. I admit having you in my arms bleeding and hurting made it unavoidable, but I think I would have fallen for you anyway, though I might have gotten over you quite soon if you had remained bossy.'

'Mr Manners is very bossy, Anne.'

'I know, but not to me. I think that's what I like about him. And about you. And there is no need to be jealous of Simon, he sees me as a kind of sister, like you do Sophie. We're of an age, I know, but to him I must seem a debutante, I'm so naïve. Smart, but naïve.'

They kiss and cuddle a lot more, Anne relishing the solid muscle of him, and the feel of his strong hands on her soft, creamy skin. When the clock shows them an hour has almost passed, they wash and dress and again, Nick carefully checks her for signs of mussing and advises her to redo her hair. This time, she checks him as well, but his livery is so practical it always looks tidy. Pushing a stray lock of hair out of his face, she can't help kissing him again, but then it's really time to go back to the drawing-room. Nick goes first, and after five whole minutes Anne follows. Fortunately she meets no-one, and when she enters the drawing-room she is received well, especially by Mr Blackwood.

'Miss de Bourgh, I'm sorry we haven't spoken much, but I truly hope you'll visit us soon. We'll have Nick plan all of you the most spectacular outing so far, then you'll come, won't you? You can bring Mr Manners along, if he doesn't trust Nick to guard you well.'

Anne smiles prettily and assures him she'll join them in any amusement Nick plans for them. Then their guests leave and Anne is in a state of utter joy. Two strong arms gather her towards a broad chest, and Frederick observes, 'So you had a good time. I'm glad. I did some business with your man's surrogate father, he is a shrewd negotiator, he'll make me a fortune. Did you two do any talking at all?'

'Surprisingly, yes. But only after we shamed ourselves thoroughly. Thank you so much for giving me the chance to be with him, Frederick.'

'Did he mention our forthcoming engagement?'

'I asked him. He didn't understand, thought we might as well marry since I've my own money. I explained, and he wasn't insulted to hear I didn't altogether trust a reputed philanderer to own both myself and my fortune. And he liked the idea of playing the game together, very much. He has no clue why you don't just marry your sweetheart, he thinks she must be a harlot or worse. We are going to take our time deciding, I told him Simon advised me to do that and he said he was jealous of our bond. I told him Simon sees me as his sister, like Nick does Sophie. That's it. We sinned terribly, but I don't feel bad. I feel fabulous.'

'Was he playing Mr Blackwood earlier to get close to you? For such a shrewd trader that good man seems rather gullible towards those he loves.'

'Nick was playing him, yes. And I suppose it seems as if his master is too nice towards those who depend on him, but I've heard him bluntly tell his daughters he'd marry them off to someone he considers a good connection for himself if they're still single when they turn twenty-one. I think he sees more than Nick gives him credit for. I'd be careful if I was Nick. Mr Blackwood is the person in charge, and he will make the final decision. Nick did hint his master would have him flogged if he knew he was sleeping with me, so maybe he is a little less complacent than we think.'

'You know he can't hurt his servants, don't you?'

'Yes, Nick told me. But I constantly forget how bad it is what we're doing. I don't seem to care anymore, I don't want to deliver myself to some man I hardly know, but I do want to be loved.'

What can Frederick do but shrug?

'I sympathise, Anne. As a gentleman I hold all the cards, but still I'm not free. I've had to let go of the concept of sin or I'd have gone barking mad. Once you're married you'll just be committing adultery, that's much less sinful.'

And since laughing seems the only thing Anne can do about it, that is what she does.