Chapter 115

Though she'd rather have stayed at Pemberley, Elizabeth is glad when Fitzwilliam hands her out of the carriage in front of their London house around noon. Georgiana is waiting for them, and she embraces both of them before they even get inside.

'How do you plan these trips so exactly, Fitzwilliam,' she exclaims, 'just enough time to exchange the news before lunch! I've missed you, both of you. There's a letter from Charlotte that came yesterday, and your sister sent word, Elizabeth, she wants to call on you this afternoon to hear about Lydia.'

As they enter the hall, Johnson closing the door behind them and taking their coats, they find Eric, Frederick and Anne waiting for them. After the usual warm greetings they all move towards the drawing-room, Eric and Georgiana of course holding hands, but Anne and Frederick almost as close, though in no way improper. Can the paper be right? But how? Simon catches up with his master and mistress just as they approach the elaborate staircase and asks politely, 'Do you want to freshen up first or do you want coffee to be served straight away, ma'am?'

Simon? Polite? Why?

'Definitely freshen up first, Simon, thank you. It's warm in the house compared to the carriage. How are things here?'

They have halted in front of the stairs and Simon replies, 'Everything went very well, as you may have concluded Miss de Bourgh has moved in and she has settled well, though she has suffered a minor monthly inconvenience that Mr Manners' doctor had foreseen and proscribed medicine for. Ma'am, sir, she found out about Frederick and myself, deduced it with no more than a few clues. She is very smart and very observant.'

Now Fitzwilliam cannot control himself any longer and asks outright, 'And engaged to Manners? You should know, Simon.'

He does know, and he bows and admits, 'Not engaged, sir, but he asked her to consider a union.'

'The paper suggested it was a definite thing.'

'I suppose you refer to the same paper that described Miss Darcy's coming nuptials as a dream wedding, strewn with lace and diamonds, when we all know her dress looks more like something from a French modiste's portfolio? Some London reporter is very fortunate to have writing down his fantasies rewarded with a salary.'

That is the Simon they all know and love. Whatever caused him to be so scrupulously polite before? Fitzwilliam accepts his valet's statement with a nod, but he does not sound happy as he mutters, 'But she is contemplating a union, knowing the truth.'

'She likes him, sir, and I dare flatter myself that she likes me as much. He offered her freedom and a role in his machinations, Miss de Bourgh is not a woman to sit at home with children and net purses while her husband hunts game or otherwise. She needs to be challenged.'

'And you like her as much as she likes you, I can hear that, Simon. Well, I'm not her father nor her guardian, she is an adult and of independent means, and I still feel rather guilty about what was done to her without my or anyone else's interference. Thank you for being straightforward, Simon.'

But Simon is not ready to let them leave.

'Sir, ma'am, I have a friend over, the Blackwood family retainer. His charges are both getting married, which means he will be looking for a new position soon. I offered to show him around my job, to help him find out if he can improve himself by applying for a similar position. I hope you don't mind, I assure you he will not get in your way.'

'That's the twins' guardian, isn't it?' Elizabeth remembers, 'it's very kind of you to help him, Simon, I'm certain we will not be bothered by his presence. So those girls are ready to settle, then?'

Simon suddenly realises something and is truly disconcerted.

'You didn't hear, yet?' and to himself, 'no, of course, they were out of town!'

Then back to formality in an instant, 'Miss Sophie Blackwood is on the verge of announcing her engagement to your cousin Colonel Compton, master. Didn't he write? Of course he wouldn't until they had an understanding. I'm sorry, sir, that you had to hear of it in this way, I know you dislike gossip.'

'Never mind, Simon,' Fitzwilliam says soothingly, 'I've come to realise gossip can be very entertaining, as long as one isn't the subject oneself. So cousin Fitzwilliam has found someone he can love. She did not strike me as a very penetrating young lady, but of course I don't know her at all.'

'No, sir, you are right, she is merely very sweet. And she has a voice like an angel. Nick says the colonel will not regret marrying Miss Sophie, she is truly as sweet as her voice. Nick is their retainer, sir, but he seems more like their older brother, he knows them better than anyone. I'm sorry, I should not keep you standing in the hall much longer, sir, ma'am. Please forgive me for intruding. Shall I bring coffee in half an hour?'

'Better make that ten minutes, Simon, we're not going to tarry this time, I want to hear all the news, from you, too.'

Simon merely bows deeply and leaves towards the kitchen.

As they go up the stairs, Elizabeth observes, 'I suppose the colonel may be much happier with a sweet girl. I kind of liked her, but I wouldn't have picked her as a possible wife for your cousin.'

'She doesn't compare to you, my love, I hope he won't be disappointed. But it is what I was planning to do after that night at Hunsford, find a sweet girl of good breeding to settle with. I'm so glad I didn't have to after all, and I do realise there is just one of you in all of England. Still, it's such a difference! I suppose I'll wait until we've seen them together before I pronounce him fortunate in his choice. But what about Anne, Elizabeth?'

'What about her, love?'

By now they have reached the top of the stairs and are strolling towards their own room, which undoubtedly already has a nice fire going in the hearth and a suitable dress ready for Elizabeth to wear laid out by Fanny, even after her maid's own tiring days of travel. But she will be free to rest later, or to retreat to that secret straw love-nest in the last stall for a few kisses and some snuggles from her devoted Bob.

'Do you think Anne should throw herself away on a man who doesn't love her? Who doesn't even know how to love a woman? Isn't this just another one of his conquests, a scheme gone right?'

They know! They know about their involvement, they know about his reputation, how can that be? Someone must have talked, Dora must have found out and told the master of the house as soon as he came back. Now Nick is in big trouble, and Anne as much so. And it's not even true, he can love a woman, his heart is burning with fear of losing her even now. But of course a gentleman like Mr Darcy would think of his cousin loving a servant like Nick as throwing herself away in the first place, even though Nick loves Anne more than life itself.

Why didn't he stay in Anne's room? He almost got caught by the master of the house, just because he insisted on going to the privy instead of using her chamberpot. Best that he leave straight away, no matter how fast Mr Manners talked that afternoon, there is no future for either Anne or himself in this doomed love. But how convincing Mr Manners sounded when he explained he would hire Nick to accompany his wife on the daily walks her health requires, and how they would travel the continent together. With Simon to become Mr Manners' valet, Nick would always have a true friend close, wouldn't it be rather entertaining to accompany the newly wedded couple together? But who was the mysterious love of Mr Manners' life? Where would she be all this time?

As Nick quickly fetches his coat from Anne's room and takes a few moments to relish the time he has spent here with her, the door opens without someone knocking. Nick's heart nearly stops and he almost dives under the bed, until he realises that would be too late anyway and it's Simon who has come in.

'Come along, Nick, no need to be a prisoner in this room, the master and his wife have returned and I've told them I have a friend over to show him the ropes of keeping house. I told them you're about to become redundant and are thinking of improving yourself by applying for a similar job. The mistress commended me for doing a friend a favour. We'll start with coffee and then I'll show you my study. Miss Anne will be busy for at least two more hours, and what is going on? Why are you wearing your coat? You're not leaving, are you? Without saying goodbye to Miss Anne?'

'I can't stay, Simon, I sneaked out to go to the privy and heard Mr Darcy talking to his wife. They know, someone must have told them. He was telling her Anne should not throw herself away on a man who couldn't love a woman. How could he know about my past, who told him?'

'Nick, think! If Dora told him he'd be angry, oh yes, but not because you've slept with a lot of women. Being a servant is bad enough, believe me! He does not know, and Dora did not tell him because she doesn't know either. Now pull yourself together and come with me until Miss Anne returns. If you still want to leave her then that's your choice, but you're not leaving in a panic. How will you get home? And do you really want to abandon her just like that? You'll break her heart!'

'I'll break her heart anyway. We'll both have our hearts broken. Your master will never accept me.'

'My master doesn't have to accept you, he has no authority over Miss Anne. He does not know you are here for Miss Anne, he thinks you are my friend. So come with me. I've promised to serve coffee in about five minutes, and you are going to help me.'

Though Nick can think of a hundred things he'd rather do than face Mr Darcy in the rich drawing-room of his house, he also knows servants are generally invisible to the people they work for, and he does trust Simon more than a little. Besides, he isn't a snivelling coward, though he realises it must seem that way to Simon. Better prove he does have some guts to speak of.

As soon as they are downstairs and on their way to the kitchen, Nick's anxiety drops, the servants' quarters here are very familiar and it's always nice to see Dora again. The coffee is already waiting, as well as a tray with slices of pie, a second server comes in quite handy. Dora is polishing silverware, she loves doing that, Nick remembers her doing it at the Blackwood house as well. As a personal maid she has few duties besides seeing to her mistress' needs, but since Anne has been keeping to her room poor Dora must have begged the cook for something to do. She exclaims when she spies Nick, drops her work and falls on his neck.

'Nick! So good to see you! Is Miss Sophie visiting?'

'Miss Sophie is seeing someone, Dora,' he replies, pleased with his reception, 'I'm here with Simon, to see if I can try for a little more exalted position if one is available somewhere. I'm not going to be a Blackwood retainer for very long anymore, I'm afraid.'

'Miss Angelina, too?'

Nick nods, 'Both officers, good men. Mr Blackwood offered me a different job, as salesman in his business, but I'm keeping my options open. You know I like living among the higher classes.'

Of course Simon beams his approval, it won't do to have Dora making calves' eyes at him, and thinking Nick wants to have new ladies to chase after won't do her any harm either. She does look a bit disappointed, but Nick would not date her even if he weren't in love with someone else. He did not make that up to get Felicity off his back, he really believes it doesn't work, not with him.

'You take the coffee, Nick, I'll take the treats. Come quickly, the mistress will be waiting.'

Of course Nick has done some serving before, it's not that difficult, though he'd prefer to wear a livery for jobs like this. But it's good to be doing something, he just hopes Anne won't be startled to have him appear in the open suddenly. As Simon opens the door to the drawing-room and Nick follows in his wake, balancing a full pot of coffee and a load of cups on his tray, Nick finds out that in this household, servants are not as overlooked as much as he expected. Since Simon is dealing out slices of pie on plates and handing them to the people present, Nick follows suit and pours coffee in cups, wondering how to share them out and still have cream and sugar ready for those who want to use it. Before he has figured it out, Mr Darcy approaches him and requests two cups, one black and one with a little cream.

'You're the Blackwood man, aren't you? Simon told us you were here, good work my man, making the best of a difficult situation.'

Nick can hardly keep his unease from showing, he can only hope Simon was right, that he misunderstood what this tall, dignified man said to his wife not even half an hour ago. He bows politely and manages to say, 'Thank you, sir.'

Before Mr Darcy has reached his other half with the two cups, Nick bets the black coffee is his, he looks like someone who drinks his coffee black, Miss Darcy and Mr Fielding approach him and ask for a cup each with plenty of sugar and cream.

'Your eyes look much better, Mr Fowler,' Miss Darcy says with humour. How does she know his name? And why does she give him an honorific? He's just a servant, isn't he?

'We all really admired the way you handled your charges, Mr Fowler. I'm glad to see you back to health, my cousin did worry about you, you know.'

And she offers him a big smile. Maybe Simon made a mistake taking him into the drawing-room with the family present, Miss Darcy seems a bit too perceptive for their safety. But Nick has no time to worry, for the adored Mr Fielding now remarks, 'The twin's shepherd. I admire you immensely, the way you got your mistresses to heed your instructions with so little effort and at exactly the right moment was just amazing, each and every night. We've been missing all of you, Georgiana tells me they're about to get engaged?'

'They are, Mr Fielding, both of them.'

'Congratulations, but also commiserations, for I suppose that means you will lose a job you were very good at.'

'Thank you, sir,' Nick replies, 'I suppose I'll find another position, but I will miss those girls.'

And then there are only Mr Manners and Miss Anne to serve, and he knows how they take their coffee, so he brings it where they stand talking to Mr and Mrs Darcy.

'Making yourself useful, I see?' Mr Manners observes dryly, causing Nick's heart to stop. How can he say such a thing? Next thing the others will know he has been in this house for days, hiding out in Miss Anne's room.

'Simon is showing me the ropes, sir.'

That is all he can think of, and only speaks because it would be incredibly rude to not reply. But it seems everyone, no exceptions, has a kind word for him, even Mrs Darcy, who looks him straight in the eye and says, 'Nick Fowler, right? So you're moving up in the world? I'm sure you can do it, I've seen you at the concerts, you have what it takes.'

She is much younger than he thought, though Anne did tell him, but her poise and dress make her seem his own age. 'Thank you, ma'am, I hope so.'

Then only Anne is left without coffee, and Nick hands her her cup, with plenty of cream and no sugar, she still doesn't like sweet things very much, though she has learned to eat them. She looks at him with her beautiful eyes and his heart stops, but he manages to refrain from showing it. At least he hopes he does.

'Oh, hello Nick,' she says, 'good to see you again, you look fine. I didn't expect to see you serving coffee in my cousin's house. Are you visiting Simon?'

'I am, Miss de Bourgh. He is helping me find out whether I'd be any good at what he does.'

'Well, you've got my coffee just right, thank you very much.'

And then she turns back to Mrs Darcy, but her eyes sparkle, promising him a much warmer reception later.

Having assured herself that everyone here is just fine, while enjoying their own superior brand of coffee and an exquisite piece of apricot pie, Elizabeth begs to be excused for half an hour to read Charlotte's letter. She can read it right here in the drawing-room, of course, but she knows it will contain Charlotte's announcement of her baby's birth, and Elizabeth is afraid to show a reaction to the news in front of her friends and relatives. Somehow, her own feelings on that matter have taken a sharp turn to the opposite side, and her fear of never being able to conceive is now starting to overcome her fear of losing her freedom.

Fortunately she is still able to keep her feelings from Fitzwilliam, he merely kisses her and observes, 'Of course you want to savour your friend's letter in peace, I'll bear the loneliness for an hour. Besides, I am very curious how Georgie's preparations for the wedding have progressed, it's their first project together. And Anne is planning to retreat to her room for a nap, I'd like to know how she has been. Falling out with aunt Catherine is not a minor thing, I've been there and I am only her nephew.'

'You were her favourite nephew, though, my love, and I wonder whether she wasn't as fond of you as she has ever been of Anne. But we'll have weeks and weeks to help her come to terms with her loss, if Frederick and Simon haven't done so quite adequately already, she seems fine, Fitzwilliam, happy even. And look at her dress, it's just amazing. Simon again, is my guess.'

'You are right, as ever, my love. Now go read your letter, and tell me what your friend has given her adoring husband: a future pianist, or an heir to his magnificence.'

They part with a laugh and yet another kiss, and Elizabeth takes the letter to the little confidence-room. Despite Elizabeth's tiny twinge of fear something may have gone wrong, it is a thoroughly frank and joyous communication, written by a Charlotte who must be happier than she has ever been.

My very dear friend Eliza,

I trust this letter finds you well, knowing how your kind family and lovely house make that a virtual certainty. Despite the hectic and thoroughly embarrassing sequence of events that transpired during our visit to your lovely home, I dare assure you my situation here at Hunsford has been much improved. I will tell you all the details later, but first I have excellent news.

Yesterday evening, at ten pm, my dear husband and I have been blessed with a healthy sturdy baby boy whom we named William Lucas Collins. I am tired but otherwise very well, the midwife said she had rarely seen a child make a quicker and less complicated entrance to this world. My dear little boy is the most perfect baby one has ever seen, so small and helpless and yet so perfect with all his little toes and fingers, and beautiful deep-blue eyes.

Will is also totally enamoured of his little son, though he so would have loved to have a little girl he said it was a great relief to him to have an heir to take care of me and any other children that may follow our dear, sweet baby.

Will? Will? Has Mr Collins acquired a Christian name all of a sudden? And Charlotte not only uses it, but shortened it to make it sound like a dashing young huntsman's name instead of the ungainly, sanctimonious clergyman Elizabeth knows her husband to be? Something must have changed indeed within the Collins' household! Or Charlotte has polished her account of her life's events, as she has always done before. But somehow Elizabeth knows that is not true, for 'Will' just doesn't fit in anywhere but the blessed truth. She continues reading, her contemplations will keep, they will undoubtedly occupy her thoughts for a very long time yet, but not now, news first. Jane will love to hear this, too.

I cannot but admit that I am greatly relieved to find our baby a boy, though I realise this may be a rather sensitive subject still lying between you and me. But dear Eliza, dare I say our being heir to your father's estate will not prevent Mr Bennet from leading a long and happy life? With yourself, Jane and Catherine so happily settled can we not put this behind us? Will and I are perfectly happy as we are, and we rejoice in Mr Bennet's excellent health.

Dare I hope you will bless my sweet baby and myself with a visit some time soon? I know it is a lot to ask, with Miss Darcy getting married and Miss de Bourgh soon to follow, but it would make me very happy indeed. And once you and Mr Darcy are settled back at Pemberley there will be such a distance stretching out between us, dear Eliza.

While I am still rather tired, I feel I owe it to you and to Mr Darcy to let you know how Lady Catherine has been faring under her daughter's absence, and I find I can write quite easily from my bed, my dear, innocent baby sleeping right beside me in his little crib. I gather Miss de Bourgh has broken off all ties to her mother, and that the rest of the family supports her in this action, including Mr Darcy, Colonel Fitzwilliam and even the latter's father, the esteemed Earl Compton.

After our return from London I was indisposed for several days with fatigue and shock over everything that had happened, as well as being rather afraid of Lady Catherine's reaction to her daughter's dining at your house and accompanying you to Mr Fielding's concerts. I knew she would not approve and Will, on top of his rightful suffering for his foolish actions at your London house, was rather oppressed by the prospect of having to own up his findings to his patroness. But there was no help for it, he had to go and face her as soon as we had arrived and he had settled me comfortably. Poor Will, he was actually trembling.

Despite her firm dislike of her cousin, Elizabeth feels for him, to face an outraged Lady Catherine when he is totally dependent on her. And he had just burned the only possible bridge for retreat behind him, by alienating his cousin's wealthy husband beyond likely reparation. But wait, Bingley or Lascelles may yet be willing to assist Mr Collins if the worst happens.

He walked over trembling and returned gibbering, Lady Catherine had not refrained from killing the messenger. Figuratively speaking, of course, poor Will was physically unharmed, but she had ranted and raved at him, almost beyond his endurance. He wanted to keep Miss de Bourgh's association with Mr Darcy from his patroness, but she stripped him of his will and forced him to confess everything, then tried to blame him for it. I'm afraid Will totally humiliated himself before her, pleading for mercy and begging her to stop thinking a man like him could ever influence someone as noble as Miss de Bourgh or Mr Darcy, let alone Lady Catherine's elder brother.

That stopped her rage towards him and he was dismissed, but he did hear her raving and ranting she'd teach them all a lesson and have her faithless daughter fetched home. When Will told me about that I wanted to write to you immediately, but Will said Mr Darcy and Mr Manners would handle anything she could think of. Frankly, Eliza, he was so anxious I just didn't dare, I needed him, you see, and he was close to breaking.

Will stayed with me for two days, I guess one might say he hid in my bedroom, where he waited upon me hand and foot. Then a request came from Rosings that he come over for tea, and he did. He had to go, of course, and Lady Catherine had calmed down and made a beautiful apology. As soon as I was back on my feet we went over for dinner as often as we used to, and she never once mentioned Miss de Bourgh, though everything at Rosings had changed: the chambers were colder for Lady Catherine kept them warm for her daughter, and of course Miss de Bourgh and Mrs Jenkinson were no longer there. She was all by herself. Will dared suggest she take in a lady companion for herself, but Mrs Jenkinson wouldn't come back and she wanted no-one else. So she sent her carriage for us almost every evening.

But when I couldn't go out to visit anymore Will didn't want to leave me by myself to dine with Lady Catherine and he wasn't even anxious to be dismissed. I guess something had broken inside him when she treated him so badly, he had given her his all and she betrayed his loyalty by blaming him and ranting at him after he had, in a way, forsaken his family for her. He told me about his youth and his miserly father and it was pretty bad, Lady Catherine had brought it all back. But he let me comfort him and our baby turned and kicked under his hands, and I told him I didn't want him humiliated even more, we could live with my parents if the worst happened.

Then one afternoon when Will went out to visit Lady Catherine her brother was there, Earl Compton, and he was scolding her like nothing Will had ever heard before from a gentleman of such high rank. Will couldn't hear what it was all about, it seemed to have to do with her doctor. Lady Catherine was in tears and pleaded forgiveness, but her brother was adamant. Will felt sorry and dared to go in to support her, and the Earl was really nice to him, told him he looked tired and worn and needed a rest, then asked whether the baby had already been born.

They sent word he was to dine with the Earl and Lady Catherine, and when he came back he was much relieved. Since that evening Lady Catherine has been very nice to Will, but she is not well, she used to have a doctor over to bleed her and Will thinks those bloodlettings kept her from becoming choleric. Though I find her quite the opposite these days, I think she was merely spoiled by everyone around her indulging her in every whim, and now she has found them not quite so compliant. Earl Compton clearly knows how to manage his sister.

Will sends his love and implores you to let Miss de Bourgh know her mother has been brought down to a formerly unknown level of disconsolation. Mr Darcy and Miss de Bourgh could easily be forgiven for their offences against her should they wish. He wishes them to know Lady Catherine de Bourgh is suffering and may fare badly if ignored or neglected by those she loves most in this world.

I think it's her duty to reach out for her relatives to forgive her, not the other way around. But of course poor Will was raised differently and has trouble expecting humane treatment from anybody whereas my parents truly loved me and taught me to always expect the best from the people around me.

Dear Eliza, this was a truthful account of events in Kent. I hope you do not fault me for standing up for my husband. He has been nothing but kind and even forthcoming towards me these last weeks. We share the care for our baby equally, frankly I don't know what I would have done without him, and he has really been through a lot from an early age, I cannot but forgive him for his quirks and strange moods. If you visit, I am certain he will behave quite nicely to you. But Mr Darcy would frighten him, bringing dear Fanny would be a much better idea.

Still, if you are busy you can see little William once he is grown a little, I suppose he will be very cute for a long time yet. Please give my regards to all your family, including Miss de Bourgh and Mr Darcy. Will sends his love but he knows he has transgressed and if you don't want to accept it he understands.

Charlotte then continues with a description of all the kind things Mr Collins has done since returning to Kent, and Elizabeth cannot not but rejoice for her friend. It is obvious that Charlotte is happy despite the circumstances, and that is the only thing she can wish for her friend. And a baby boy, exactly what she needs to cut off the entail, to prevent her from finding herself in the same predicament Mrs Bennet is in and Jane and herself had been in before they attracted the attention of wealthy gentlemen. Charlotte's daughters will be spared their mother's fate, having to make themselves agreeable to men they don't like or respect, just to gain an establishment.

Suddenly, Elizabeth feels an urge to be with her beloved, to let him kiss her and hold her, just to prove he really does love her, even if she never manages to give him a baby son. She does not think he will relent towards his aunt, Lady Catherine has really gone too far, and though Fitzwilliam might be capable of forgiving her, Lady Catherine will have to initiate their renewed contact.

Of course Elizabeth receives the welcome she hopes and expects, and without hesitation she hands the letter to her beloved and tells Georgiana and Anne about its contents. Georgiana cannot help but laugh at Mr Collins having been renamed 'Will' by his dearest Charlotte, though she also seems to find the whole thing rather romantic. And Anne says resolutely and dryly, 'I'm leaving my mother to Charlotte and Will for a few months at least. She will not get attention from me after nearly killing me and trying to have me abducted by a greasy local lowlife. Let her sweat it out, I'll risk her deeding parts of my inheritance to little William.'

Fitzwilliam looks up from the letter and asks, gravely, 'Do you think I should write to my aunt?' He looks at each of them in turn and Georgiana shakes her head as Anne says, 'Certainly not. She cast you off, she should seek reconciliation' and Elizabeth herself observes, 'I think you should let your own heart decide. You are well within your rights to leave her be, restoring contact with her will offer you no pleasure and undoubtedly more than a little outrage at first, but she is your aunt and apparently she is rather miserable at the moment. I will support you in whatever choice you make.'

'My love, you are too good for this world, really. After everything she said about you, to be so mild and forgiving.'

Well, he is quite mistaken there, Elizabeth is not forgiving towards Lady Catherine, and she Admits to her real feelings readily.

'Frankly, love, it's not a matter of forgiveness and higher feelings. I just don't care. Really. I'm sorry to be so blunt about your mother, Anne, but I don't know her very well and I never will. Her fate leaves me unaffected. If you want to seek a reconciliation, Fitzwilliam, I understand and I will even visit and be polite. But if you don't, it's fine by me. You decide.'

'Let me think on it,' he replies, 'I feel a bit sorry for her, but just a little. Do you worry, Anne, do you want me to seek her out?'

Anne doesn't even have to think about it and replies instantly, 'I'd rather have her suffer a little longer, maybe one can teach an old dog new tricks after all, maybe she will learn that treating people with arrogance and ordering them about will not gain her their friendship. I will not seek a reconciliation, what she did to me was unpardonable, she is no longer my mother.'

'Then I will not do anything, Anne. When you write to Charlotte will you let her know, my love? Or do you indeed want to go visit? As I remember saying to you once before, what's fifty miles of good road? Little more than half a day's journey. If you take the fast team Bob can have you there and back in two days with plenty of time to chat and hand over gifts, and Fanny will be thrilled to accompany you I'm sure. If you really want me to, I'll even come with you, we'll take rooms at the Hunsford Arms instead of staying with the family.'

'I'm tempted, I'd love to see the baby and Charlotte, and if I'm honest, I'm very curious about the new Mr Collins, too. It would have to be right after Georgie's wedding, wouldn't it?'

'Dora and I could come too, Elizabeth,' Anne offers, as if on impulse. 'We left in a hurry and expected to come back, I know Dora will want to see her family again before moving to Derbyshire, and I have left some things behind at Rosings that I'd like to have recovered.'

'Your mother tried to have you abducted, Anne, do you think it's safe for you to go that close to Rosings? Though I can imagine why you would want to go back this once, take leave of the neighbourhood as you couldn't before. Maybe I should come after all, provide some protection.'

'You are so right, Darcy, I didn't consider that, I thought uncle had settled mother rather firmly but why take a risk? Let us spend some thoughts on the matter, we don't have to decide straight away, do we?'

'No, there's Georgie's wedding first, and, according to the newspaper, yours as well.'

Anne blushes a deep scarlet and observes, 'Well, we have become very good friends, Frederick and I. It was bound to cause rumours.'

'A little bird told me he made you an offer and you're considering it?'

'A beautifully beplumed bird named Simon? He told you? But, yes, Frederick did make me an offer and I am considering it very seriously. He offered me freedom and a role in his society game. He does not want my money, he will not expect me to sit at home and crochet, he means to be equals, Darcy, and I must admit that is very tempting. Most men aren't like yourself and Eric and Frederick. Most men want their wives to know their place and be good mothers, but I'm not going to be ruled ever again. Frederick may be self-assured and even dominant at times, he has never been like that to me, I know he will stick to his promise and let me be myself. And I like Simon, a lot, and he likes me.'

'But Anne,' Fitzwilliam counters, 'they will love you, I'm certain, but only as brothers. Can you live without being loved? Don't you think you deserve to be loved as a woman? Maybe have children?'

Though she is trying to control her expression, Anne clearly did not expect her cousin to be so forthright, and she blushes again, looking incredibly pretty in the process.

'I thank you for your concern, Darcy,' she says with feeling, 'but I will have all the love I need. It will not be in a traditional way, which is the only reason I am still considering the offer instead of having already accepted.'

Elizabeth can see her beloved wanting to press the issue, it sounds as if Anne is already seeing someone, planning to take him into this strange marriage and of course Fitzwilliam will want to know what his cousin is up to. But Georgiana smoothly intervenes.

'I think you will have every chance of happiness with Frederick and Simon, Anne, though it will mean more than a little play-acting and secrecy for you as well as them. Though somehow I think you may find that an advantage of the match.'

And indeed, Anne beams and observes, 'I do. I've been stuck in a life of someone else's choosing for ten years, it's time to turn the tables, show the world a magnificent wedding and a couple fit to lead society. Then do whatever we like in private.'

And again Georgiana keeps her brother from digging deeper.

'Well, whatever happens, Anne, you will always have a friend in me. And Fitzwilliam, you don't need to burden yourself with visiting Mr Collins. There are people much better suited to guarding noble ladies, and Miss Anne de Bourgh can easily afford to hire a sturdy guard for her protection if she wants to go to Kent. She can even send such a man along with her maid, straight into the lion's den to fetch her personal effects, where you most certainly cannot go. Have Simon find him an impressive livery, Anne, and my aunt will watch him rifle through your childhood memories in stunned silence.'

Incredible, how Georgiana at almost seventeen can read a situation. Elizabeth wants to stay with Charlotte, not in an inn, and it would do Anne a world of good to do the same. Anne likes Charlotte, and may feel she owes her for having neglected her for such a long time. Fitzwilliam is too hot-tempered to be a really good guard, and he cannot step inside his aunt's house without making a statement. A servant invested with a certain authority will do much better, and of course they all happen to know one who will soon be looking for a new job. Mr Blackwood adores Anne, and Nick Fowler would challenge the three-headed hound of the Greek Hell for Miss de Bourgh, and possibly win. He did apparently chase off a tough sent by her mother to bring her back, while suffering from broken ribs and various other disabilities.

Meanwhile, Fitzwilliam bows before so much combined force.

'I still don't like it, but I'm not your father nor your keeper. You are very well-able to make your own decisions, and Manners will not risk the two of you getting involved in a scandal of some sort. He is very adept at these things. I'd rather see you married to a kind gentleman with a nice estate, but saying that I realise Manners counts as such. Still, I hope you will reconsider, but if you don't, I will be your friend, too.'

Poor Anne is having a difficult time controlling her feelings, it's almost as if Georgiana knows what is going on and is pushing Nick on her cousin. What was Simon thinking of, bringing him into the drawing-room? Though she realises it will make a perfect cover should he be caught in the house some time in the future. Everyone will associate him with Simon, not with Anne. With the possible exception of Georgiana, but she has made it clear it doesn't matter to her where Anne finds the love she needs, she will stand behind her cousin. And none of the others seemed to have even the slightest suspicion, which is good.

Suddenly Anne cannot imagine her own doubts that very morning. Isn't life great here? So many friends and relatives who love her, in fact Anne is enjoying herself hugely, her doubts about being with Nick must have been induced by her state. She will now let them go, and if Nick still feels them she will convince him to do the same. Nick makes her happy, and as long as their love lasts she will do everything in her power to be able to be with him. And if he resumes his philandering she will undoubtedly find another man she can love, and if she tires of Nick she will help him find a new position where he can access a steady stream of pretty ladies to entertain himself with. The thing to do is to learn to hide her lover from the rest of the world, enjoy public occasions without him, and take care he does the same. As long as they are both happy, freedom is much better than a union they may eventually come to regret.

And when she retreats to her room to take care of her rags and to be with Nick the rest of the day, she finds him waiting for her, as positive and as eager as she might wish him to be.