Chapter 116

When Johnson announces Mr and Mrs Bingley, Elizabeth feels a moment of disappointment. She hoped to see just Jane, ever since Bingley chose his friends over his wife in the matter of Grenfell's and Miss Bingley's marriage she has not been able to let go of a certain feeling of resentment towards him. Even though Jane has forgiven him and they are as close as ever. Even though Elizabeth did forgive Frederick, who was as deeply involved and probably the instigator of the whole scheme. But despite Jane being an adult, apparently Elizabeth feels inclined to protect her sister whether Jane wants it or not.

Fitzwilliam is obviously pleased to have his friend over, and if she wants to get away from Bingley she can always take Jane to the confidence room, Georgiana and Eric are very busy practising, Frederick is out, and Anne has retreated to her own room until dinner. She seemed well enough but Elizabeth can imagine her feeling uncomfortable with her affliction, Elizabeth tends to have the same vague sense of discomfort and shame at that time of the month, only on a different scale.

It is so good to see Jane again, they embrace and kiss and Elizabeth manages to kiss Bingley without showing her resentment. They chat for some time, Fitzwilliam telling Bingley about Colonel Drummond's plans to start breeding levelheaded hunters. Bingley seems very interested, then beams, 'I may be interested in one of those, can't risk my neck as I used to, Darcy, not once the baby is born. I'll have to become a sensible adult.'

In the face of such ingratiating enthusiasm Elizabeth's resentment starts to waver. He really is a dear man, and he will be such a great father. Jane looks at her husband with infatuation, she doesn't hold a grudge, she's glad to have her beloved back by her side. Fitzwilliam does not show any sign of longing for a child of his own, he merely smiles at Bingley with affection and says, 'You'll be the first with a baby after all, Bingley. But I did manage to get our brother-in-law a promotion.'

Then he tells them about his meeting with Wickham's superior officers, who all admired their ensign's bond with his men, and his resulting promotion to lieutenant on top of his transfer to the Rifle Core. Strangely enough, Jane doesn't appear to want to retreat to a more private room at all, when all has been said about the rest of their trip she merely asks, 'And Lydia, how was she, really?'

Bingley also seems to want to know, he shows every sign of sincere concern. As Elizabeth tells Jane about Lydia's fear of her loss having been a punishment from above, her sister shakes her head and observes, 'Poor Lydia, she never paid the slightest attention to Sunday school or the minister. And now she knew nothing to give her loss a proper place. Did you manage to resolve it?'

Elizabeth gives an account of maid Abbey and her family, and Lydia's friends advising to go to the camp's clergyman, and that man's excellent handling of poor Lydia's misinformation. She also mentions the little dresses Lydia had sewn and even embroidered, and their shopping expeditions and quiet afternoons together.

'I know being responsible for a new life will be a challenge for Lydia, but I really hope she will soon find herself with child again. Wickham will be in such danger in the Rifles, though I admire him for wanting to make a difference. I wish we could have a baby at the same time, Lizzy, you and I. But I know you don't really want a child already.'

Which of course makes no difference at all, children come as they will, maybe her own lack of power over these events caused Elizabeth to feel such objection against possibly finding herself with child. And now she would really like to know she can in fact have one, she is as helpless to influence the process. Small wonder it is so surrounded by old wives' tales and superstitions.

'So how was the big wedding?' Fitzwilliam asks, obviously to the confusion of his brother and sister.

'Your sister changed her name just after we left, didn't she? So how is Mrs Grenfell?'

The expression on both Jane and Bingley's faces is priceless, Fitzwilliam is obviously the last person in the world they expected to ask such a question, and he adds, 'We used to be good friends, you know, I'd like to know how she is.'

Jane recovers first.

'They seem to be really happy, both of them. We received them just yesterday for a morning visit, they are staying in town, avowedly to help his mother settle in her new London home, but Caroline told me later they have ordered the garden torn down and her Cuthbert couldn't face witnessing the destruction of his mother's great love. She said, 'I can't say I was loath to leave that dismal house, the decor is atrocious. And you know there will be mud and uncouth men all over the place for weeks, of course they wouldn't bother me, but Violet dislikes them violently, haha.'

She thought that was really funny. But her plans for the garden are quite nice, English landscaping instead of the formal French setup old Mrs Grenfell preferred. And she wants a ruin with a real hermit living in it. Apparently that is still quite a thing where they live, I thought a Chinese garden was the new fashion, I'd love to have one but Bingley and I are not going to spend much money on a leased house, we'll wait until we've purchased an estate of our own. Will you tell Fanny that Grenfell is in town? They live in an entirely different part of London, you know. Most of his friend are with them, only Bingley, Lascelles and Manners are lacking. They've taken Manners' defection very much to heart, he has been the heart and soul, and I suppose the conscience, of their group for so long. They blame the two of you.'

'And rightfully so,' Fitzwilliam observes with an air of contentment. 'It was almost entirely our fault.'

Bingley dares to gainsay his beloved friend, 'Not in our case, Darcy, not Lascelles and I, I guess we just grew up. And I think Manners, too, he finally found a lady worth attaching himself to, and he wants to be deserving of her. The things going on in Grenfell's house just before we went to bed, it is not something you want any lady to behold, let alone one you love. Maybe Grenfell will want to stop being part of those amusements, too, he has Caroline after all.'

'So they are happy together, that is for the best.'

'Caroline certainly is. She took me to the side and told me all about their intimate moments, until my cheeks must have blushed scarlet.'

In fact, Jane's cheeks are blushing vividly even with the memory.

'She wanted to know how our first night together had been, and described hers until even my ears burned. It all had to do with Cuthbert's superb musculature and his having a lot of experience with the action. Can you believe her telling me her husband had been a philanderer? Just like that? As if she was proud of it? I merely nodded and of course did not tell her anything about our private life, I couldn't get a word out anyway, I was so embarrassed.

Then she told me she was looking for a new maid to make her fit in with the London crowd and she started angling whether your maid might be convinced to leave you for a less ceremonious household, with a charming master and a flamboyant mistress. You did tell her about Fanny, didn't you, my love?'

Bingley, looking almost as embarrassed as his wife, asserts her, 'We certainly did, dear Jane. Though we wisely refrained from mentioning which maid had been his victim, Caroline can take an instant dislike to someone and we didn't want to prejudice her against poor Fanny. Besides, you know she talks to her maid and Mrs Hurst and who knows who else. Suppose all the servants in all the great houses knew Fanny had been attacked. What did you tell Caroline?'

'I wanted to tell her to stick to a plain maid her own age since her husband had proven to be a philanderer with a taste for young maidens. But I guessed you hadn't told her about Fanny, so I asked her whether she knew who Mrs Darcy's maid was. When she said she hadn't a clue, just wanted the maid who got her mistress all over the society pages as an icon of fashion, I told her my beloved sister's maid was as pretty as an angel and very young and innocent. It worked instantly, she does realise she should not have a maid better looking or younger than herself. I don't understand why she'd think I'd let her take Lizzy's maid away from her, she should understand I like my own sister better than herself. At any rate she changed the conversation to decorating, admiring your taste, Darcy, planning to have every single room of their estate made over. I have to admit it needs thorough refurbishing. I liked the grounds but they were his mother's great passion, I suppose Caroline wants to make the house and grounds more her own.'

Elizabeth would have liked to get more detail, but of course Jane would say nothing against Mrs Grenfell where her brother could hear it. Generally, Jane had become a lot less gullible towards her new sisters, especially Mrs Grenfell, and a lot less tolerant. Bingley also encouraged his sisters to stay elsewhere as much as he dared, but now Mrs Grenfell had a house in town they would mostly be staying there. Poor Mr Hurst, stuck with Grenfell as a companion, always being urged to join his brother in some sporting activity, and in the future maybe even in Grenfell's debaucheries, for Elizabeth did not think a philanderer could ever be cured. There would be parties again, if probably not in the new Mrs Grenfell's beautifully re-decorated house. Grenfell and his friends would find a way to stay amused.

'But Lizzy, Georgiana told me you had a letter from Charlotte, will you let me in on the news?'

Of course Elizabeth is pleased to do so, and even Bingley and Jane cannot help laughing out loud at Mr Collins' new nickname.

'Will? Seriously?' Bingley cries, 'imagine how jealous Bertie would be if he heard that some poor minister has a much better-sounding short name than he has. We all call him plain Grenfell, I wouldn't dare call him Bertie to his face, he is immensely strong and easy to anger. I think Caroline has dubbed him Cuthbert to imitate you, Lizzy, calling Darcy by his first name without shortening it, somehow it sounds very dignified while still expressing an endearing intimacy.'

Jane is glad to hear Charlotte has a perfectly healthy son, and indeed that Mr Collins is taking such an interest in mother and son to dare neglect his lonely patroness.

'He must have some better feelings after all, dear Lizzy. I suppose you're sorry now that you underestimated him and refused him.'

They all laugh at Jane making jokes, and Bingley is stunned to hear Mr Collins actually proposed to Elizabeth.

'I didn't even know that. I bet he didn't fall in love with you for your impertinence.'

'Indeed he did not,' Fitzwilliam remarks. 'Which is why I was the man to triumph. Though he still resents your rejection, Elizabeth, which I did only very shortly.'

'And I rejected him a lot more politely, so he had less reason to feel insulted. Still, Will is happy now, and so are we.'

'And of course you will visit Charlotte, won't you, Lizzy? If she wants it so badly? There is no reason you should not go, you have those fiery horses pining away in their stalls.'

'I may visit, I'm considering it. If Anne comes along it'll be a perfect chance to get to know my new cousin a little better. I like her so much more than I ever thought possible. She never even looked up when I entered their drawing-room at Rosings, she seemed devoid of all feelings, like the abominable Mr Darcy, I thought then. Wickham told me they were destined to get married and I thought they would make a great couple. I was very mean towards both of you, my love, I'm glad things changed between us.'

'Not half as glad as I am, dearest Elizabeth. Poor Anne didn't deserve our censure at all, I'm so ashamed I neglected her when I had known her as a bright, vivacious tomboy in our youths. You couldn't have known, but I blame myself for giving up on her, and I am going to make up for my negligence by being as good a friend to her as Georgie is. They have gotten really close during our absence, I'm glad those young people have such a good time together.'

Elizabeth is amazed, not that Anne and Georgiana have taken to each other, that was to be expected, but that her beloved only seems to feel the memory of poor Anne having been unable to enjoy a visit of lively young people to Rosings, not his own plight after one fateful night at the end of that visit. He seems to have come to terms with their past, which is of course a wonderful thing.

Their guests stay for dinner, and everything is very comfortable and pleasant. Frederick has returned from an afternoon of doing business and is eager to exchange news. Georgiana and Eric are ready for yet another concert that night, and they will be married within the week, Elizabeth is glad they decided to go for a special licence and show the world their love is forever. Of course Georgiana is still very young, but she is so sensible one would hardly notice. The way she called Fitzwilliam to order when he was being officious towards his cousin was as persuasive as it was subtle, Anne may not even have noticed, though she seemed to be thankful.

But after dinner their travels are starting to catch up with Elizabeth and she feels pretty tired and ready to turn in. The others are set to attend yet another one of Eric's concerts, Jane and Bingley chaperoning for Georgiana. Anne says good night, and retreats to her own room for the last time that day.

The next morning, Frederick feels it's a good thing to have his friends back, but disconcerting, too. Frankly, he is just a tiny bit anxious, not a common feeling to him, and usually associated with this family. But of course the people you love the most are the ones who can hurt you worst, and yes, vice versa. Frederick is not unaware of that last possibility, which is part of what makes him anxious. Darcy is obviously not pleased with the publicity around Anne's possible engagement to a man whose affections Darcy knows are taken. He may think the situation is the same as with Georgiana but it isn't. Anne is not in love with someone she can marry, not Nick with his background of philandering and his London accent. And she is not a sixteen-year-old girl, she is an adult, someone who knows what she wants of life.

But most disconcerting of all, there is some pain between him and Elizabeth. They did not have a chance to really talk before she left for Newcastle, and the memory of her look of loss still haunts him. Especially since he is once again doing things she may consider scheming, but which to him are of the greatest importance. And he can't even explain, for his friends must not find out about Nick. Not before Anne's marriage to Frederick is a fact.

Breakfast tastes like sawdust, his stomach complains, either with nerves or with the coffee he did manage to drink. Anne looks at him with concern, she takes good care of her fiancée. Nick is having breakfast with Simon in Anne's room, ready to leave as soon as Frederick is free to take him back to the Blackwood mansion. Nick's love makes him insecure, he has always been the one in charge, and trusting Frederick is still difficult for him. When will they dare tell him about Simon? Once he knows the truth he will accept Anne marrying Frederick much more readily, but it's not something to just tell a man you have known for a few weeks.

'Are you well, Frederick?' Elizabeth asks, 'you seem a bit less than spirited.'

Her kind voice breaks his musings, and his nerves resume their unfamiliar twinge.

'I seem a bit out of sorts, Elizabeth. I daresay it's nothing serious, though, just a touch of nerves.'

She looks him in the eye and asks, 'Do you want to sit in the boudoir for half an hour after breakfast? Maybe talk a little, see if that helps?'

The softness of her face actually worsens his anxiety, but he knows he has to face her if he wants to regain his peace of mind.

'Yes, please, Elizabeth. Do you want to go now?'

'Already? You haven't eaten a thing, no wonder you're nervous, drinking coffee on an empty stomach.'

'I'll eat something later, I have a friend among the servants, he lets me scrounge food between meals.'

'Come, Frederick, it's not that bad, is it?'

They both get up and Elizabeth kisses her husband, then walks around the table and catches Frederick's arm. A little squeeze is meant to hearten him but it reminds him of that moment when everything seemed to fall apart.

He sits down in a heap of cushions, and Elizabeth actually drops down right beside him, against him. She takes his hand and rests her head against his side. When he looks down on her in surprise she says dryly, 'I'm not going to scold you again, Frederick. Why are you so skittish? We made up beautifully, didn't we?'

'We did, but somehow I've not come to terms with what happened, not yet. I so nearly lost all of you. Even Simon. I understand now what Darcy went through when you rejected him.'

'I was a lot harder on him than I have been on you, Frederick. I resented him, threw his love right back into his face. And contrary to what he says now, he did not deserve that, he was not to blame. You didn't do that much wrong either, from what Jane said I have a feeling Mrs Grenfell is quite happy as she is.'

'But she had a choice, Elizabeth, I wouldn't have given her one. And I let Bingley quarrel with your sister. I'm still very sorry. I've cut my ties to the clique, I'm not going to see them again except separately, on occasion.'

'Jane told us. Said your friends blame us for losing you. We don't mind, if you don't mind.'

'No, it was time I did that, maybe it's best this way, together with Bingley and Lascelles. I can't help scheming, Elizabeth, it's who I am. I have never been able to truly be myself, I've always played a role, I'm really trying to be just me, and with Simon I can, but there is such fear in me of being found out. Please be patient with me, both of you.'

'We will, Frederick. It's just that I realised then how much I cared about you, and how little we actually knew you. But I think I've grown used to the feeling in the last three weeks.'

They sit together for a few more minutes, each with his own thoughts.

'I've always wanted a brother, and now it seems as if you're him. More than my brothers-in-law at any rate.' And she tells him a rather shocking story of George Wickham nearly assaulting her in some kind of frenzy of desire.

'Fitzwilliam must never know, Frederick, he'll call him out and get killed. Wickham is a soldier, there is no way Fitzwilliam can beat him in a duel. I got the better of Wickham, and that is where it all ends.'

Frederick agrees, there is nothing to be won by telling her beloved about this frightening experience.

'Should you need to talk about it, come to me. I'll be your older brother again and help you come to terms with it, though I suppose you did come out best. It's just incredible how some men adulate you, Elizabeth. Just when the colonel seems to have moved on, this happens. Fortunately you won't have to see him for months, maybe even years. To think he stopped Grenfell, then nearly did it himself. Incredible.'

Entirely in the spirit of their confidentiality, Elizabeth starts to explain to Frederick why she feels obliged to give Wickham the benefit of the doubt, time and time again.

'So you see, he may be Fitzwilliam's illegitimate brother, I don't even know what that would do with their relationship if it were true, but somehow Fitzwilliam seems to be coping a lot better with Wickham in general and I think it is important to keep it that way. Wickham will not bother me again. Half a year from now he may be in France, crossing the frontline with his men, looking for trouble.'

'And you say Darcy's uncle also suspects, but Darcy himself is totally unaware of the possibility?'

'Exactly. So we're going to try to find evidence at Pemberley and his own estate, apparently his sister's room is still more or less intact, but we've not decided what to do in case we find it.'

'It wouldn't change a thing, Elizabeth, second sons don't inherit, and besides, he would be illegitimate. Do you think Darcy would be devastated?'

'I don't. Somehow, he feels bound to help Wickham already, I don't want to dramatize the situation by stating he suspects something of this kind, but he does feel responsible for a man whom his father loved so dearly, and who was a constant companion in his youth, even a true friend. I think it would make things easier on Fitzwilliam if Wickham turned out to be his little brother. Keeping an eye on his children when Wickham is abroad on active duty, assisting him in his career, he would do that anyway, professing it is for me because of my sister, but I do think he does it as much for Wickham himself, no matter how much he dislikes him. For he does truly hate him, and yet he cannot cast him off.'

'But before Wickham eloped with your sister he avoided contact with Wickham, didn't he?'

Frederick can see Elizabeth did not consider this before now. Maybe Darcy does only spend time and money on Wickham because Elizabeth is involved.

'You are right. So maybe he will be put out if he finds out Wickham is his half-brother. Likely that isn't even true, apparently Wickham's father did manage to keep his wife away from old Mr Darcy's debaucheries, generally. Or we may never find proof. Even if we do, we can keep it to ourselves.'

'It will be an interesting mystery, Elizabeth, but if I may make a suggestion, you may want to involve Fitzwilliam and Georgiana in your search once you're at Pemberley.'

Her expression is so incredibly shocked that Frederick cannot help laughing heartily, which he didn't feel like at all so far, he was so anxious.

'Dear Elizabeth, I can see what you are thinking: the puppet master, weaving plot inside plot even though he promised us he would desist, urging me to be open? Admit, my dear friend, you are not the right person to be devious, and your beloved does not take well to being excluded from anything you do. If you are honest he will surprise you, I think you will have a great time together looking for secret compartments in pieces of furniture and hidden stashes of letters behind loose floorboards. In fact, I can't wait to join in such a search, and have Simon talk to the elderly staff, even some who have retired a long time ago. You'll be surprise how much they know. But do all this in secret and some of it will come out and make him feel excluded. It may even cause a rift between you.'

'I just wanted to protect him from something that might hurt him.'

'Then leave it be. No-one will profit from knowing, well, maybe Wickham. Of course it will be great fun to find out, but only if you are honest with your beloved. I have a suspicion you cannot even lie to him.'

And indeed, his beautiful companion bows her head and admits, 'I cannot. I don't want to, I love him too much. All right, you are the master of subtleties, if you say 'Be frank' I will. Either I let it go, or we'll all be in it together, Fitzwilliam did enjoy searching his library for something he knew his father had left there. Thank you, Frederick, I have enjoyed our time together, and I hope you feel more secure?'

'I do, dear friend. Thank you for your kindness, Elizabeth, yours and Darcy's.'

And while Elizabeth and Frederick have their intimate talk, Eric tells Darcy all about his visit to Mr Zumpe's showroom and the resulting conciliation. He then asks Darcy whether he can invite his former patron to his wedding. His soon-to-be brother-in-law's reaction is just as his beloved had foreseen.

'Of course you are welcome to invite whomever you want, Fielding. It's your wedding, your day. If Georgie agrees, but I'm certain you've talked to her first.'

'Your sister said exactly the same you just did: if you want him, have him. Mr Zumpe's plight affected her very much, he was so sad, so afflicted. And not just for the loss of his investment, he was sad about losing someone who had been like a son to him. I was thinking of inviting them over for coffee and a concert tomorrow, and if Mr Zumpe's view on events and his attitude towards Georgiana and myself have not changed, invite the family to our wedding. With your permission.'

Darcy lays a hand on Eric shoulder, still very much a familiarity from him since he is usually rather reticent, and observes kindly, 'Good thinking, Eric. You don't want him acting out on your wedding, if he has reverted to his old ways you will find out during a private call. And from what you have just told me, I think Mrs Zumpe will be thrilled to have you all to herself for an hour. She must be so proud of you, to see you in the newspapers all the time. And about to get married to the girl of your dreams. Do you want us to be present, or would you prefer to be all by yourselves?'

'No, please, Darcy, I'd like both you and Elizabeth to be present. I think Mrs Zumpe will be even happier knowing I am living with kind people who want nothing but the best for me.'

Sitting together in Mr Manners' ornate carriage, Nick feels relieved and sorry at the same time to be leaving the Darcy's' house. He is still rather afraid of Mr Darcy, though he kind of likes all the other people, and they seem to really love and admire their relative and host.

'You're mighty quiet, Fowler,' Mr Manners observes calmly, without even a hint of irony. It's just impossible to dislike this man, though he admits to ruthlessly manipulating people when he feels like it. Nick has felt his machinations personally, though so far they have been in his favour.

'I am, Mr Manners. I feel sad about leaving the woman I love, but at the same time I'm very much relieved to be away from under Mr Darcy's critical eye. I fear his anger when he finds out I'm seeing his cousin, I'm very certain he can break me. But everyone in his household really likes him, I guess he is a righteous man and I know I am guilty.'

'He was talking about me when you overheard him. He does not favour my match with Miss de Bourgh, he knows my affections are engaged elsewhere. So you are not the only person to fear his wrath, I do, too, and also because I am guilty. Guilty of trying to lead Miss de Bourgh astray.'

'And be with me. But he cannot break you, you're a rich and influential man.'

'Everyone can be broken, Fowler. Mr Darcy would never take your means of making a living from you, not for loving his cousin, he would never break you, as you say he is a righteous man. But I love him like a brother, and I love his wife, his sister and his cousin as if they are the sisters I never had. My greatest fear is losing their love, for that would surely break me more thoroughly than anything else, even losing my standing in society, would.'

Well, that doesn't help. Now Nick is more afraid than ever, and though the thought of losing Anne makes him desperate enough to risk everything, he still doesn't know how he will ever dare enter Mr Darcy's house again. But he is not going to prove himself a coward to Mr Manners.

'Simon told you about that? But wait...'

As Nick fumbles for words, Mr Manners blanches, as if his downfall has already come.

'..wasn't that supreme hurtful to you? Mr Darcy's words were quite severe, and you say you love him like a brother.'

Strangely enough, Mr Manners seems relieved rather than affected by Nick's blunt statement. Until he frames his reply, then his hurt comes through.

'It is. Simon did hesitate to tell me, but he decided I needed to know I was playing with fire. He advised me to let go of my plan to marry Miss de Bourgh, let sleeping dogs lie. Simon knows Mr Darcy better than I. But I want Miss de Bourgh to be happy, and I want you to be happy, and really, neither of you runs a large risk, if he finds out he will merely try to stop you, but nothing more. He will not expose his cousin. You can lose each other, which is bad enough, but I stand to lose everything, my love but also the regard of the people I love most in this world.'

'Why, Mr Manners, why would you take such a risk?'

'I suppose I cannot help it, I need to plot and scheme or I'm not alive.'

Now he is joking, Nick cannot believe it.

'I stand to gain a lot, Nick, a connection to a respectable family, a family of my own, children, I like Miss Anne and I like you.'

'Will we meet the love of your life before Anne makes a commitment?'

'Of course, my man, of course. But you must understand that I am taking a tremendous risk introducing the two of you. It would put me entirely in your power.'

'It can't be that bad, can it? Wait a minute, so Anne knows her already?'

'Oh yes, Anne knows my beloved. That is not what is keeping her from deciding.'

'What is, Mr Manners?'

'It's living in sin, Nick. She has sinned with you and is not sorry, but to go through life happy because one is sinning, you and I are used to it but she was raised differently. She still wonders whether marrying a gentleman would be so very bad. And of course her family would prefer to see her do that. Those who would certainly not accept her living in sin would never know, her mother, her uncle, Colonel Compton, they'd see her married to a gentleman and they would be very happy. But everyone in Darcy's house will know, and she has to accept their knowing. Miss Darcy will, I think Mrs Darcy will, but Darcy himself? I have no idea.

And even if they do object, she still has a choice: she doesn't need to live with them, she can live with me, I have a magnificent house in town as well as a nice estate. So you see, all is not lost even if you meet with disapproval. And right in time, Fowler, we're here, back at the Blackwood place. Sleep well and try not to worry too much.'

Which is easier said than done, but at least Nick has a few precious memories to cherish before his mind turns back to contemplations.