Chapter 121

Having spent the afternoon shopping with Mrs Bingley, Elizabeth and Simon, Anne is ready for a nice quiet evening at Eric's concert of that day. Frederick will be there, but he is not with their own party and Anne kind of misses him, though she looks forward to seeing him in the company of Mrs Grenfell senior. Apparently Frederick has arranged for uncle Spencer to be there, too, with a few friends of all sorts, men, women, married and widowed. All of them Mrs Grenfell's age and all of them year-round residents of London.

Fortunately Mr Bennet is in their own party, to stop Anne from feeling the odd one out among all the loving couples. Fitzwilliam and Spencer will not be present, apparently Spencer is making good use of his time in London by going to his brother's officer's club. Sophie is probably entertaining herself with her sister, carefully watched over by Nick and possibly Angelina's officer.

'You almost make me feel resigned about going out, Miss de Bourgh,' Mr Bennet observes, though he doesn't seem to mind that much. He is a queer personage, but very interesting to Anne. As long as he doesn't make fun of her, but so far he seems to have been able to refrain from being sarcastic, in fact he has been positively friendly, trying to talk to her about politics and the situation in the world, almost surprised at finding her interested and rather well-informed. Darcy has an excellent paper and Anne likes to stay ahead of the news.

'I'm very thankful to you, too, Mr Bennet, or I'd be on my own among all these happy couples, feeling abandoned by my own suitor. He is dating another lady tonight, I'll have to refrain from sending her nasty looks across the rows of people or the reporters will notice. Fortunately she is every day of fifty, a widow, and very outspoken. Apparently Frederick made a promise to take her to one of Mr Fielding's concerts as soon as she was in London.'

'Let me guess,' Mr Bennet offers, 'old Mrs Grenfell, also known as the old bat by the new Mrs Grenfell?'

'Exactly. You are well-informed, Mr Bennet.'

'I've spent some time with the latter, seeing as she and I seem to have quite some things in common. A certain disposition mostly, since she is ever so much prettier than I am.'

'And yet you look uncommonly fashionable, Mr Bennet, when did you start wearing pantaloons and shoes instead of breeches and boots?'

'Well, I'm going to make an admission to you which I will deny to anyone else. But I always feel a bit countryfied when in London, and with all these reporters lurking about the house and in these halls, I thought I'd better adapt to the latest style. I asked Simon to help me out, which he readily did. He even held his laughter until I was out of hearing. So you think it is not too youthful for someone my age?'

'First of all, I assure you I will not tell anyone what you just told me. And secondly, I think you have the perfect figure for pantaloons, I saw a pair on Mr Blackwood, you know, Sophie's father, just this morning and he did look a little portly in them. But they look very good on you, you look just a tiny bit villainous, like Darcy does when wearing black, very becoming.'

With such lively conversation half an hour flies by, and before Anne knows it she is seated in the front row of another large theatre, somewhere in London. Still chatting with Mr Bennet, but keeping an eye out for Frederick and especially his companion for the night, she is quite a bit rattled to see Lieutenant Talbot entering the hall, on the lookout from the very first, and of course for her. As he comes straight towards her, practically exuding admiration, Anne can see his companions approaching as well, Angelina and her fiancée Ensign Stockford, a friend of Lieutenant Talbot's. Which means that most likely...

'Miss de Bourgh, it's so good to see you again.'

No time to look for Nick, that would be uncommonly rude, he will be in her arms tomorrow evening, she can wait that long.

'Lieutenant Talbot, such a pleasure to see you! I thought the Misses Blackwood were over their admiration for Mr Fielding.'

'Oh they are, Miss de Bourgh. I asked my friend to come with me because I needed to see you again, and Miss Angelina asked to accompany us. Are these seats taken?'

Anne would prefer not to have the Lieutenant ogling her all night, but he is so disarming she cannot bluntly refuse him.

'No, they are still free. That is the advantage of arriving early.'

'Thank you, Miss de Bourgh. I can't seem to forget our afternoon together. One moment, please.'

And he waves at his friend, who approaches immediately with Angelina, and behind them, tagging along rather unhappily, is Nick. What a horrible way to spend an evening, accompanying an engaged couple who are undoubtedly wishing him away every single minute of their time together. Poor Nick! Anne catches his eye and tries to send him a heartening look, and he straightens and smiles, he usually doesn't care about these situations, maybe it's seeing Anne and not being able to talk to her.

'I'm so glad you're here, Miss de Bourgh, of course I like the music, Mr Fielding is a magnificent player, but I came here to see you.'

That's Nick's problem, he hates to see Lieutenant Talbot fawning over her. Well, there is nothing she can do about it now, they're early so it will be at least half an hour before the concert starts. It's not as if Anne likes to see the lieutenant like this. It's a bit embarrassing, she is with her own party and does not want to ignore Mr Bennet to spend time on an unasked-for admirer. And she wants to see Frederick and Mrs Grenfell meeting her uncle. What can she say? Well, she can start with acknowledging Angelina and Nick, so she gets up and greets her young friend heartily, and after that Angelina's rather average-looking fiancée, whom she remembers from their outing to the camp, of course. Frankly, he looked better in red. They shake hands, and then she looks straight at Nick and addresses him with as much warmth as she dares to put in her voice. They'll think she is still thankful for his saving her from that creepy fellow with the buggy.

'We meet again today, Nick. Has Miss Sophie gone out after all?'

His smile is enough to make her feel very warm and very much in love.

'No, the colonel went out to see his brother since he will stay in London only very shortly. She didn't want to come, said she'd rather stay at home. Reading or practising, most likely. Little Miss Sophie is changing, Miss de Bourgh, she is growing up rapidly.'

That is the Nick she knows. Now back to the lieutenant.

When she sits down, Mr Bennet raises one eyebrow to let her know he expects a full report once that is possible. At least he doesn't feel neglected, but of course he loves watching people and there is plenty of opportunity to do so. In fact he points out, 'Look, Miss de Bourgh, your uncle's party has arrived. And I guess that is Mr Manners with his companion.'

She thanks him for letting him know where they are, she'll seek them out after the show, and talks to the lieutenant a little longer, he is doing well but he says he cannot forget her. Why didn't he invite her to a café or a walk in the park? This is very uncomfortable. Fortunately there is enough to talk about until the music starts, and though Anne can see the lieutenant looking at her every so often, he does not try to touch her, as Nick tends to do when sitting next to her. The concert is beautiful, of course Eric and Georgiana will get married in two days, and a week later they will all be at Pemberley together, Eric must be filled with love at the moment.

Anne realises that if she accepts Frederick's proposal he will find a way to include Nick in their party. But if she hasn't decided by then, Nick will be left behind in London, and Anne will not even know what has happened to him and where he lives when she returns in fall. Unless she takes some action herself, hires him as her guard. But that means she needs to get a house of her own, with a staff to keep it. The hard truth hits her right as Eric starts on his most feeling work, and soon Anne's eyes and throat are burning with unshed tears.

'Let them fall, my dear, everyone is crying anyway,' Mr Bennet whispers for her ears only. He is right, they are. And Anne allows herself to shed a few tears, but then she reminds herself that six months ago she thought she was dying. She had been dying, and now she is healthy and strong, and beautiful. She has a right to be happy, and she need only reach out and take happiness. It is time to decide and let Frederick know what she will do: either marry him and be free, or live an independent life without husband, in a house of her own, with Nick as her footman. That will undoubtedly cause a lot of talk, and without Frederick she will not be as welcome in society as she will be with him, but she will be free. Lieutenant Talbot will just not do, nor will any other man she doesn't love and doesn't really trust.

Anne doesn't get the chance to go looking for her uncle and Frederick after the show, for the lieutenant pleads her to give him a moment of her time in a quiet corner of the hall. It is not what she wants at all, he knows she doesn't love him, why is he doing this to himself and to her? But to refuse him bluntly would be the death of him, really, she cannot believe how far gone he seems. While indulging him by seeking out a quiet spot by the far end of the stage, she does make sure it's in Nick's line of sight, hoping Angelina and Ensign Stockford will be content to stay in their seats until their friend returns. Anne is not going to risk the lieutenant trying to kiss her or worse, Nick will watch the two of them and intercede if needed.

'I'm so sorry to be bothering you with my feelings, Anne, I know you don't love me and I'm so very sorry about that. Won't you give me a chance, Anne? I'm a good man, you know I'd treat you well, I don't drink, I haven't had another woman since I met you. I'm not rich, but we'd have enough to live comfortably, and I can win a lot if it does come to war with the French. Or I'd quit the army if you prefer that. You don't know that you wouldn't come to love me, do you? I'd be the best husband ever.'

Oh my goodness, how is she going to get out of this situation without crushing a good man's heart? And she thought she had problems before. Suddenly she can understand how a woman might accept a man to keep him from being devastated like Ronald will be when she crushes his hope. She will never deliver herself to a man, she now knows that as surely as she feels the wooden boards of the stage under her hand, the paint peeling a little even at the edges. In desperation, she looks straight at Nick and sees him with a look similar to the lieutenant's, hopeless, lost in love, he has nothing to offer Anne and he knows it, he fears to lose her and to do so will break him as certainly as it will Ronald. Strangely enough that realisation hardens her resolve, and she gently takes the lieutenant's hand.

'I'm sorry, Ronald, I truly am. I cannot marry you, though I am convinced you will make someone the best husband ever. Just not me. I am not who you think I am, I am not the girl you dream about. You see my beauty, hear the gentleness years of education have given me. But that is not who I am, Ronald. I am restless, I want to see the world and live it to the full, I do not want to settle. Not even with a man I do love. No-one will ever own me again. Please forgive me.'

He looks at her, and though Anne is crushed by the grief she sees in his face, she is glad he is not angry. Though it would have been easier to forget him if he was resentful or unfair. His voice is husky as he says, 'No, it is I who am sorry. You told me you didn't love me, you told me before you were not looking to settle, and I forced you to hear it all again. I hope you can forgive me. Fare well, Anne, I won't bother you again.'

He kisses her hand and walks out of the hall, quite obviously devastated, leaving Anne on the verge of tears, again, but now she cannot let them fall without drawing attention to herself. She needs to talk to Nick, tell him the lieutenant is nothing to her, that she loves only him, but how? Ensign Stockford has undoubtedly seen his friend leave, and Nick cannot but follow his mistress. And here Anne is worrying about leading her own life, when Nick is doomed to follow orders all his life.

The realisation dries her tears instantly, and she straightens to find Nick in the crowd, she cannot run after him but she can look at him, he will recognise her feelings instantly. But he is nowhere to be found, they have left already, he will be in agony, he will have to ride home in a carriage with the man he thinks is his rival, a gentleman with a respectable name and a fortune of his own. But it will be clear she has refused him, won't it?

'Come, Miss de Bourgh, let's seek out your calm friend, that looked like something a fellow shouldn't do in a hall full of people, you need a strong shoulder, not an old man's.'

It's Mr Bennet, he has taken her arm and is leading her somewhere, talking in a low voice all this time, as if she is a horse about to bolt.

'If I'm not greatly mistaken, your Mr Manners will have a message for you from someone else who kept a very close eye on everything that was happening. A very humble fellow, but with the expression of a fierce predator. He had to follow his charge but managed to say something to Mr Manners on his way out. I'm quite sure it is meant for you, for what would a man like that have to do with the bachelor of bachelors? Come now, Miss Anne, it's not all that bad, you know, these fellows rant and rave but before you know it someone else catches their eye and they're happy all of a sudden. And you may look like someone's prize wife, beautiful and sweet, but like my Lizzy you have a set of teeth, you need to be with people who respect you, who can handle your having your own opinion. You need a man you can look up to, not one who grovels and begs. You'd walk right over him. You might be surprised how many sheep one can find in the army, whose courage is measured by the size of their regiment, who are merely obeying orders. Truly strong men don't need badges and stripes to prove their worth, they dare walk out of pace, like the fellow just now, like Mr Manners. Here you go, he is expecting you, he has kept an eye on you as well, you know, he is aware something is up. Now let's pretend everything is just jolly, all right? I'll start.

'Good evening, Mr Manners, will you do me the honour of introducing me to your lovely companion, so I can charm her while you talk to Miss de Bourgh?'

Anne cannot believe her ears, such a slick old man! How much does he know? He must be even smarter and more observant than his daughter, how else can he know what is going on behind the scenes in his daughter's household? He arrived just yesterday! As the introductions are made, Anne feels herself calming even more, Mrs Grenfell the older doesn't look like an old bat at all, she is rather pretty for her age and very polite and interested. Her dress is stunning though totally appropriate for her age.

'Now Mrs Grenfell, let's leave the young people to exchange some important news while you tell me whom you have met tonight and whom you feel is worth getting acquainted with.'

It is exactly the right question, for the lady is soon summing up names and titles and describing people, proving she has a sense of humour and, yes, respect. Frederick does not hold back and just takes Anne in his arms, right there in a public hall, of course he would do that with anyone who needed a hug, and Anne doesn't really care about propriety anymore, most of these people think they're engaged anyway.

'So tell me, was that what it looked like? In a hall full of people? When you told him before you didn't love him? Never mind, Anne, I'll shut up as soon as I've told you poor Nick's message. He merely said, 'Please beg her to marry you, for me.' And then he had to run to catch up.'

Anne couldn't speak, she just wanted to cry but couldn't.

'Don't say anything yet, dear Anne. Let me take you to Georgiana and Elizabeth to calm down a little, and tonight we'll talk. All right? I cannot leave Mrs Grenfell, but you're a strong woman, you just need a little peace and quiet to settle. Just tell them about the lieutenant, it's plenty of reason to indulge in a good cry behind the scenes if you still want to. One moment.'

He turns towards Mrs Grenfell and says, 'Will you please excuse me for ten minutes, Mrs Grenfell? My friend here is a bit disconcerted, I'm going to take her to Miss Darcy back stage, it will be quieter there.'

'Why don't you let me do the honours, Mr Manners? With Miss Anne's permission of course? Then you can stay with your charming companion.'

Yes, that is even better, let Mr Bennet bring her back stage.

'It's fine, Frederick. I'll see you tonight. Enjoy your evening, Mrs Grenfell!'

'Thank you child, I will. Best night of my life since years.'

This time, Mr Bennet doesn't say anything, he does have a perfect instinct for hysterical ladies. Anne is almost ashamed to have made a scene, but no-one looks at her except to admire her beauty. She is getting used to that, but slowly. Eric is still talking to someone from the audience but it is clear he cannot last much longer, he looks totally worn out once again. Georgiana is with him, and when she sees Anne she instantly understands something has happened, taking her arm and leading her behind the stage. Mr Bennet stays in the hall.

'Anne, you look as if you've seen a ghost, will you tell me what happened?'

At least she can tell the entire truth to Georgiana.

'A lieutenant from cousin Fitzwilliam's camp fell in love with me, and though I told him before I cannot love him he asked me to marry him. After claiming my attention all night, right in front of Nick, whose Miss Angelina dates this lieutenant's friend. Both were devastated, I feel awful. I had to break the lieutenant's heart and couldn't talk to Nick, he had to leave with him and sit in the carriage with him. Nick did leave a message with Frederick. Mr Bennet was really nice, I was really upset and he helped me to not make a scene. But he knows a lot more about what is going on in your house than it seems, he saw Nick watching me, and I think he suspects Frederick is up to something.'

'He won't talk, don't worry. Just sit down and enjoy the quiet, Eric will be along soon and I guess Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth and maybe Mr Bennet. I'll tell them about the lieutenant if they ask. We can talk later, if you want to, though I suppose Frederick already offered.'

And Georgiana pours a glass of water for Anne, which is very welcome, for all to soon the others enter the room and Anne needs to be a little more like herself. Eric looks totally worn out, how can he do this to himself every night? And then practise all day the next day, as if nothing happened?

'Only four to go this season, Fielding, you may yet survive,' Darcy says, and Eric smiles.

'I am going to miss playing for an audience, but I'm not going to miss the incessant talking afterwards. When those Blackwood girls found themselves a suitor, four others took their place! Still, they pay the rent and I thank them for it. But there is just one woman for me.'

However much he feels for Anne, and yes, for the lieutenant and Nick, too, still Frederick cannot help being in an excellent mood, a sense of triumph trying to take hold of him constantly as he leads Mrs Grenfell back to his carriage. She has had a fabulous time, and she has been fabulous company, sober, outgoing and very fashionably dressed. Earl Compton played his part with flair, attending the concert with a whole group of his London friends, introducing them to Mrs Grenfell before the show, then discussing it together afterwards. A scheme gone right, Elizabeth would call it, and not even she would object to Frederick using his host's connections to set up a lonely lady with a new group of friends. Young Mrs Grenfell better beware, by the time she joins society next fall her name will be known already among the beau monde of London, but it will be associated with a polite, lady-like widow, not a self-styled flamboyant young upstart.

But of course that is not the reason why Frederick can hardly control his excitement, he will have to do something about that, no-one likes to witness someone rubbing in a triumph, not when others are suffering for it. While Mrs Grenfell was making acquaintances by the dozen, Frederick watched Anne chatting with Mr Bennet, then being disturbed by Lieutenant Talbot, to this very day his most important rival for her affections because he could offer her a proper marriage with a handsome, loving, well-to-do man. You might say the lieutenant to Frederick symbolised the possibility of Anne finding true love among her own class. Then there was Nick trying not to watch her, in growing desperation. Even from across the hall it was clear to Frederick that Talbot was proposing to Anne, right there, and that Anne felt horrible about the whole thing. Her bad luck turned out to be Frederick's main triumph, for it drove home to Nick that his beloved might fall in love with an eligible man at any time. Unless she was married to someone who didn't love her. What Frederick didn't tell Anne was own his reply to Nick's hasty but profound message: wait for me outside your master's house at midnight.

Elizabeth and Darcy will be outraged at Frederick taking such direct action to almost force Anne's decision, but they don't realise how important this marriage is for all four of them. The only way Anne can be certain of leading a life of her own is being married to Frederick.

Mr Bennet's interference was a surprise, but Frederick has reason to believe the old man is not entirely averse to people taking their own lives firmly in hand, even if that counters propriety and even religion. The way Frederick is feeling now, not even the thought of one contrary old man can spoil his good humour, no matter how smart, discerning and influential the fellow is with Elizabeth, and Darcy as well. Anne will make the decision, and Frederick is convinced that those few who know this will not be the fairytale marriage from the papers but merely one of convenience will have to just accept it.

'You look mighty pleased, Frederick,' his companion observes, once they are settled in his carriage on their way back to her house. 'Was that young lady the one you are planning to wed? She is incredibly gorgeous, even in distress. And that nice gentleman was not her father, but who is he?'

'I am indeed pleased, Mrs Grenfell, pleased you have made so many new acquaintances, and such superior ones. Pleased that you have adapted so well to city life, look so fashionable and well-groomed, behave so perfectly genteel, and know how to enjoy yourself. But I'm mostly pleased because I think that after tonight, that young lady will finally decide to favour me with her hand and part of her heart. And the elderly gentleman is Mrs Darcy's father, not Miss de Bourgh's. He possesses the sharpest mind I know of, excepting perhaps his daughter and Miss de Bourgh, but of course they lack his life's experience.'

'You are the most interesting man I know, Frederick. I hope we can meet once in awhile whenever you are in London. I cannot wait to get to know your young lady and the rest of your friends. Though I am afraid my daughter-in-law will try to keep me away from them, and she has been intimate with Mr Darcy and his relatives and friends for years.'

Time for an explanation, Mrs Grenfell need not worry at all if she keeps up her current commendable behaviour.

'Caroline only knows Darcy and her own brother, Mr Bingley, who don't really have an interest in society. It was Mr Fielding's engagement to Miss Darcy that forced them out of hiding. Well, and me. After Fielding's marriage they will retreat to the country,where they feel more at home. And your daughter-in-law cannot influence the beau monde, for firstly, it decides for itself, and secondly, she is not part of it, yet. And while she is very self-assured and reasonably fashionable, she seems to lack the general politeness and niceness needed to become popular. Mrs Darcy has it, my very own Miss de Bourgh certainly has it, and of course there is me. While it sounds very much like bragging, Mrs Grenfell, there is one person who does have some influence on the beau monde: I have. I like you, and I know everybody who is somebody. Steer clear of the spirits, treat everybody nicely and according to their rank, dress fashionably and seek out the right people to associate with, and you will find yourself deeper in society than your daughter-in-law will ever manage to get. She is generally not nice enough and she lacks respect, is too self-confident.'

Mrs Grenfell nods happily and observes, 'I understand, Frederick, and you will not find me wanting. Fortunately Bertie is like Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley, he prefers the country. Maybe I'll have Caroline over next winter and show her around, if she promises faithfully to treat my connections nicely.'

'That is the spirit, Mrs Grenfell. Once I've taken you back to your lovely little house I am going to spend a few more hours on my own future. Please pray for me, Mrs Grenfell, this is going to be a very important night for me.'

'I will, my son, thank you for doing all this for me. I have really enjoyed the music, and the company and all the rest. I hope you get what you want, tonight.'

They part with an embrace and a kiss, and Frederick directs his driver to the Blackwood mansion, where indeed Nick is waiting outside, stepping from the shadow of a large bush as soon as he recognises the carriage. He opens the door of the carriage hesitantly, until Frederick calls out, 'Do come in, Nick, there is no need for formality after midnight.'

Nick sits down and observes, 'I did not ask for permission to leave, Mr Manners, there was no-one still awake to do so.'

'Please call me Frederick in private, Nick. I'm planning to return you before anyone notices, but if this evening proceeds as I hope you will no longer need to ask permission from anyone for anything you do. You'll pretend to be a servant, but you will be your own man, Nick.'

'I have no idea how that would come about, sir, but I trust you, and I will do whatever you think best.´

Frederick cannot help laughing, and retorts, 'I still think it's not too late to wean you away from servitude, Nick. I may use this summer at Pemberley to teach you how to be a gentleman, and then you can be my baby-brother when we go to the continent. But before we can make plans of any kind, Anne still has to accept my proposal, and there is something I need to tell you.'

'That is exactly what Simon said yesterday, just before he told me something very shocking.'

'And what did you think of the thing he told you?'

Nick shakes his head with energy and says, 'I cannot tell you, sir, that was very personal. I shouldn't have said what I did, I'm sorry.'

Better, even better.

'I know what Simon told you, Nick, it was about him not being attracted to women. Do you mind? And keep trying, my name is Frederick.'

'I'll try, Frederick, but you're the kind of man I tend to be a little cautious around, powerful, self-assured, you know. Anyway, since you seem to know about Simon already. I was shocked, but I couldn't think of a single thing that would change. I like him, I can imagine playing the servants' quarters together while you and Anne work on the front, it sounds exciting. Since I'm trying to be brave towards you, I'll admit I'm more worried about your girl, the one you can't marry. I cannot imagine someone you could not force your peers to accept, she'd have to be hideous or cheap or something other that is very bad. I don't know how she'd treat Anne, wouldn't she be very jealous of such a beautiful woman?'

'Nick, the love of my life is not hideous or nasty in any way, but stunningly beautiful, kind, smart and very good to me. Anne knows who it is and she doesn't share your fears, though I commend you for thinking of her before yourself. I have to tell you whom I love, but if you tell anyone else our lives will be ruined.'

'Of course I won't tell on you, who do you think I am? But wait a minute, are you suggesting it is someone I know? How can that be, Frederick? If you can turn me into a gentleman, you can use the same time to teach any serving girl to behave in the right way, can't you?'

This is not going well, Nick should have guessed by now, he really cannot face a man being with a man. Still, Frederick is in a confident mood.

'It's Simon, Nick. I can't marry a man, no matter how perfect he is.'

Silence. Nick is lost in thought, not shock or loathing, fortunately. After a full five minutes that seem like eternity to Frederick, he says in a tiny voice, 'I should have seen that one coming, shouldn't I? It's so obvious now. Doesn't he hate the very idea of you getting married? You don't need to, to be with him. You can just move to your estate with your new valet and be together most of the time. No-one would suspect, I certainly didn't.'

'People are starting to talk, Nick, they are wondering why I haven't married, yet. If I want to remain active in society I can't have that. Simon understands, he needs excitement in his life as much as I do. As much as Anne does.'

'As much as I do. It's just perfect, isn't it? You have a dream wedding, pretend to be a perfect couple, and no-one suspects. Anne knows, found out herself. Who else does? They'll know your marriage is a sham.'

That is it, he is thinking again, this is the experienced philanderer calculating what will and what won't be possible.

'Mr and Mrs Darcy, Miss Darcy and Mr Fielding, and now you. No-one else should know.'

'And Anne knows you can never rule her because you have this huge secret yourself. Damn you, Frederick, I just cannot imagine you and Simon, how can you not love a woman? I guess I just don't understand. Not yet.'

'Believe me, I tried to fit in, not as hard as Simon did, though, I've never been with a woman, never had much contact with them anyway since I have been at school all my youth. But I actually like children, I would have liked to start a family, kiss in public...'

That truly upsets Nick.

'So if Anne agrees you are going to get married with the two of us nowhere in sight. That is kind of brutal.' Another silence and then, 'You'll have to kiss her.'

'She is not going to marry you, Nick.'

'I know, I know, and I agree, she cannot live as my mother did. And more importantly, she cannot trust me, not after what I did for years and years. And she trusts you even without having your secret as security. But I don't have to like it, and I bet Simon doesn't either.'

'You can discuss it with him as soon as I have smuggled you inside, Nick, for I suppose Anne expects to see me in private first. Unless you cannot accept what I told you about Simon and myself, in which case I can take you to Miss Anne directly to discuss other ways you can be together.'

He is not going to plead with Nick, if the man doesn't want to be associated with sodomites no amount of begging is going to make him relent. But there is no need, though Nick does seem to have lost some of his almost fearful respect for Mr Manners, and shows his birth and upbringing more than ever before in Frederick's presence.

'Don't be an idiot, Frederick, you know as well as I do that Anne will never see me again if I refuse to accept the two of you. As long as I can have a sweet, soft lady in my arms, why should I care that the two of you prefer to hold something more solid?'

Such fun they'll have together, Frederick didn't know Nick was capable of such filthy thoughts! Despite the seriousness of the moment, dare he say momentousness?, he can't help laughing out loud.

'I love you, Nick, though I promise it's purely platonic. I cannot help it if you make comments like these, please keep doing that, I think even Anne will appreciate it. You know Simon can hide his upbringing like no-one else, but he can also talk filth like no-one else. You will be like peas in a pod. Again, platonic, though Simon does apparently fancy broad-shouldered, plain-faced fellows.'

'I know you don't fancy me or I would have found out much sooner. I feel a bit dumb and naïve, you've both been hitting me over the head with it for weeks and I never noticed. Anne never gave away a thing, I totally understand why you'd want her as your partner in crime. For the moment I just feel relief that you two will never be competition for me, and that there will not be some jealous street-waif waiting for a chance to stab Anne in the back.'

By now they have arrived at Darcy's town house, and Frederick's driver halts right in front, as usual. Despite Simon being the servant opening the door at this time of the night, Frederick bids Nick to stay in the carriage and enter the house through the back door, Anne may be waiting for Frederick in the hall for he did promise they'd have a long talk. Simon will lead Nick to his own room where they can discuss the consequences of their lovers getting married to one another. If Nick can get over the shock he has received just now.

Simon does open the door at the very moment Frederick approaches it, and he looks worried.

'Anne told me what happened, Frederick, she is waiting for you in the little confidence room, did you have to take Mrs Grenfell to a club when you knew Anne was in a state? That is no way to treat your wife, you know, you'll have to do better than that.'

Suddenly, Frederick gets very nervous, it sounds as if Anne is ready to commit herself to him, to them, actually, and Simon seems all right with that. But Elizabeth and Darcy will be angry at him, maybe too much to forgive him his meddling this time.

'You will come with me if they throw me out, won't you?'

That doesn't sound like the self-assured Mr Manners, but Simon knows him. And loves him, for he takes Frederick in his arms and kisses him sweetly.

'I will, my beloved. I love you and I will stick to your side for as long as you'll have me. What happened to make you so little like yourself?'

It is good to be held and comforted, and Frederick feels his optimistic mood returning, but Simon did say something that needs addressing first.

'I love you, Simon, and I will not tire of you then dump you. I know love doesn't always last, but that is other people's love, I'm sure I'll love you forever. And I assure you, you will not be left stranded should something happen to me. My lawyer has a document in his possession to make sure of that, just waiting to be signed and sealed.'

Thanks to Darcy giving him the perfect example of how to provide for a truly loved one. Maybe they'll need to make one of those for Nick, too. One cannot make a gentleman out of a man then kick him back on the streets if something doesn't work out. Meanwhile, Simon doesn't understand and Frederick has no time to explain, so he kisses his beloved and says, 'I'll explain later. I didn't take Mrs Grenfell to a club, I fetched Nick and told him about us. I suppose he'll get used to it, at least he was relieved there was no low woman attached to me. He's in the stables as we speak.'

Simon is so sweet, and so understanding.

'It's fine, Frederick, I'm sorry I spoke to you like that. I'm sure she'll forgive you for being a bit late. I suppose I'd better go get Nick then, before your driver starts to wonder why you fetch that fellow so often.'

'He already did, though he didn't say anything. I told him I want to hire Nick to guard my future wife but he needs some convincing, and Bates bought it. Gave me a big wink and said the fellow would soon find out working for me had certain advantages. I aimed to make him think I was celebrating Nick to steal him away from his current master, and I think he believed me. We appear to have one large advantage, Simon, it seems men in general are virtually unable to imagine two men being together. Their minds just don't accept it unless presented with direct proof. Once I'm married, no-one will believe any gossip of the kind. They will believe my wife cheating on me with her guard, but that is my business, not theirs. We may yet pull this off and indeed live happily ever after.'

They kiss one last time, then separate, it can be hard but they are used to it by now. Anne is waiting, hopefully with the best news for both of them, actually, all four of them.