Chapter 129

Anne is enjoying herself hugely at the little parsonage. She has held baby William for half an hour, amazed how such an unattractive father and plain mother can get such a beautiful little boy. Of course there is no way to know how he'll grown up. Mrs Collins has received a lot of presents, happy with all the nice little things they got the baby, but almost ecstatic with the three new dresses Elizabeth brought for her.

'Eliza, new dresses as well as all these lovely gifts for little William? I can hardly believe it! And how do you know they'll fit?'

'They're ready-made, Charlotte, you can adjust them a little with a sash. But you're slimmer than I expected, so I may have to fit them myself, we can just manage tomorrow before we leave, I do need daylight. And then you can stitch the new seams at your leisure. It'll give you something to do when Will goes to see Lady Catherine.

Oh, I'm sorry, Charlotte, I didn't know you mind that so much or I wouldn't have joked about it.'

'Dear Eliza, you can't help it. It's just that, you know, he hates to go there these days, he didn't want to go just now, he's so afraid of her and he thinks she knows Miss de Bourgh is here because your driver is staying at the Arms and Mr Darcy's team is unmistakeable, people hereabouts know it because he used to stay at Rosings very often. I told him Lady Catherine won't expect Anne to be here but he just fell apart on me. But I so much wanted to spend the evening with you, not have him around all the time, fawning on Miss de Bourgh. He is also a bit afraid of you, Eliza, says he never knows what you are thinking, like your father. But seriously, Eliza, Miss de Bourgh, Will is very unhappy here, and I beg you that if you hear of a living becoming available anywhere else, be it very modest, please think of Will, to spare him a life spent in perpetual fear.

He is wonderfully reformed and almost pleasant to be with, I don't love him and I don't think I ever will, but he adores me and little William and he'd do anything for us. He knows I don't love him and it hurts him, even more so since I have little William in a crib in my bedroom and he has his own room. We have not been intimate since William's birth, I cannot face the possibility of conceiving again, I need time to recover from the last nine months. If he was happy otherwise I think it would be easier for me to refuse him that other thing, now he keeps watching me like a big, fat puppy looking for a safe place to hide. If only he would stand up for himself just once I think Lady Catherine would respect him a little, but he cannot seem to do it, it's his youth, his father broke him before he had a chance to grow some backbone.'

Well, Anne cannot fault poor Mr Collins for being afraid of her mother, she never dared stand up to her either. Of course she was weak and tired, maybe she'd do better now. If she got the chance, with Nick ready to give his life for her. Imagine being afraid of intimacy with one's husband. Maybe she should tell Charlotte about ways to prevent conception, but how would she explain knowing about it?

'I cannot promise anything, Charlotte, but I will keep your request in mind,' Elizabeth says with feeling. Anne knows Elizabeth dislikes her cousin intensely, but of course Charlotte used to be her best friend, she must wish her to be happy. Anne herself may be able to do better once she's actually married.

'I will talk to my uncle, and to Frederick. I think he may be your best option, he knows a lot of people and most of them are landed. Don't despair, yet, Mrs Collins, something may come up, though I guess mother will never change.'

And then they talk of babies, and embroidery, and Georgiana's wedding, and Anne's engagement and their coming move to Pemberley. Mrs Collins calms down visibly, her baby on her lap and her presents all about her. It was the right thing to do to come here, just mailing those presents wouldn't have been half as nice.

The door opens and closes and Anne feels a little thrill, that must be Nick coming back, it's too early for Mr Collins to return, it's not even half past nine. But when an overwrought Mr Collins does come in and throws himself at her feet, Anne feels a little twinge of worry, where is Nick?

'I'm so sorry, Miss de Bourgh, I knew this was going to happen, your mother just saw I was hiding something! I thought I'd gotten away with it but after we played for almost an hour she laid into me like she did before. It was just like the old days, when my father would yell at me and hit me, and bring me down for no reason at all, just because he could, because I was the only thing he could hurt, the rest of the world could handle him alright. I begged for mercy but she wouldn't desist, I am so sorry, I promised I would stand up to her but I couldn't. I'm the most worthless man in the world, I can't even stand up for my principles, how can I preach to others if I betray those that treat me well, again and again?'

Anne is quite upset, finally she understands why Mrs Collins pleaded them to find him a new position, this is not the way a man should feel, it's demeaning and rather embarrassing. Her mother should be ashamed of herself to treat a human being like this.

And suddenly, all her own rancour against her mother awakens, and she takes Mr Collins' arm and tries to lift him back to his feet, but he is tall and overweight, and she is petite and slender. She gives up and talks to him instead.

'You cannot help this at all, Mr Collins. It is time someone gave my mother a large dose of her own medicine, and I think it will be my privilege to administer it. I don't need a guard, my mother cannot harm me, she is an overweight old lady who suffers from palpitations. I am strong and I am smart. Elizabeth has taught me sarcasm, I'm sure it will work just fine, even on my mother.'

Now she forces herself to sound kind and gentle as she asks Mr Collins, 'Please get up and stand tall, Mr Collins. You have the right to be yourself as much as any of us. Do not be ashamed of being a sensitive man, Mrs Collins tells me you are very good to her and your little baby.'

He looks at her like a deer that has taken a hit, fearful and dazed.

'But she doesn't love me, she despises me for being a coward. And rightfully so, because I am, I betrayed you.'

'Mrs Collins doesn't hate you, she has just told us you are such a good father and take such good care of her as well. Tell me, Mr Collins, when you told my mother I was here, did she say she was planning to come and fetch me? Will she come to me, or do I have to go looking for her to give her a piece of my mind?'

'She called for Hughes, so I guess she plans to come and fetch you. I'm so very, very sorry, I should not have gone.'

Anne looks at Mrs Collins, if her mother is coming Mr Collins should be out of reach, and preferably Mrs Collins and her baby as well. Or maybe they shouldn't? Maybe witnessing Anne giving her mother her due will do them some good.

'Mrs Collins, will you take your husband and your baby to the next room and leave the door ajar? Maybe try to calm him down a little so he can hear what I have to say to her? I think I'm grateful to him for making me see that I need to face mother in person, not through uncle Spencer or anyone else. Mr Collins has been suffering because I was too afraid to confront my mother. Well, no more, I can manage a sour old woman.

Though I'm glad you're here with me, Elizabeth, you've been my example since I first heard you talk back to my mother.'

Mrs Collins nods and hands her husband the baby, great tactics, then leads him to the adjoining room, indeed leaving the door open. Then Anne observes, not caring about Mrs Collins hearing her, 'I can handle my mother and I can handle Hughes, he likes me, he has a daughter my age. But I'm certain Nick will come charging in at some point. Will you handle him? I've never seen him angry but he loves me and he will kill for me. He may be the most dangerous person involved.'

Elizabeth laughs, she really isn't afraid at all, it's as if she relishes the chance to witness the moment that Anne de Bourgh decides to stand up for herself.

'I know how to handle a dominant man with a temper, leave him to me.'

And they look at each other and laugh again.

Then the door slams open and shut and Anne's mother storms in, hair disheveled, out of breath, head red as a beet. She really needs those bloodlettings, it's as if she has too much blood in her body. Anne decides to use her advantage while her mother is still out of breath and unable to speak.

'How dare you treat your dependants the way you treat Mr Collins, mother! He is the only person in the world who can still bear to be in the same room with you and you force him to reveal private information and rage at him into the bargain. You are not a Christian, you are a fiend!'

Besides looking red and bucolic, her mother seems very, very old and worn. Life all by herself is not agreeing with her. Too bad it is agreeing with Anne very well, thank you.

'Anne, is that you? You look different. I hardly recognise you. What are you talking about? Why are you staying with a minister? I don't approve of that, people will talk. You should come home, I've come to fetch you home, I forbid you to stay with Darcy, he has displeased me.'

'I am twenty five years old, mother, a grown woman. You cannot tell me what to do or whom to stay with. I like living with Darcy and I am going to do it for as long as I like.'

She seems to have forgotten about Anne's engagement, which suits Anne very well because she wants to make a point and getting married to a respected gentleman doesn't fit into that at all.

'How dare you talk to your mother that way! I gave you everything, you ungrateful girl!'

'Everything except love, mother, because you have no love to give. It just isn't in you, you're cold and cruel and you like to hurt people. And freedom, you took my freedom away from me by letting your quack doctor half kill me with his lancets. And respect, because you don't even know what that is. You want obedience and call it respect. You will not get it from me, mother, I will not come back to Rosings, not ever. I have finally lived these last few months, and I'm going to continue living.'

Now her mother has her breath back altogether and is seething with rage. Anne used to be afraid of her in this state, but now she merely wonders what would be needed to goad her into a fit.

'I did not try to kill you, how do you dare say that when I spent a fortune trying to cure you! You were never strong, I often wondered what I had done wrong to deserve such a weak, limpid creature as my only child. But I knew Darcy would make it right, such a fine, strong man, until she stole him away from me! I'm not going to let her steal you, too!'

That explains a lot, and it doesn't even hurt Anne to know her mother merely saw her as a pawn to get at strong, dominant Darcy. Elizabeth watches the discussion unfold with detached interest, she is truly her father's child.

'You never even wanted me, I guess I knew that from the start. You preferred your beloved Anne's child, the beautiful strong boy. But you are never going to get Darcy now, and you're not getting rid of me so easily either, mother, better take a good look at me: I'm no longer weak of body nor of mind. I'm easily your match in wills by now, because I am young, I am beautiful and I have people who care about me.'

That makes an impression on her mother, Anne doesn't know which hurts her most, the realisation of being all alone in the world, or having grown old and losing her famous looks. She really looks at Anne for what may be the first time ever, and slowly her jaw drops.

'You are indeed beautiful, and you look healthy. In less than three months you went from a sickly little wretch to this? How can this be?'

'It's your amant no longer trying to drain me dry that saved my life after ten years of living death in your prison of a house. Did you know the whole town knows about his efforts to kill me? When I was drinking coffee at the Arms with my friends old Madge asked if I was Miss de Bourgh and I told her I was. She said she was glad I looked so well having escaped that quack's clutches.'

'Doctor Hawker is not a quack! And you are still my daughter and should be ashamed to talk to servants and use such language! Hughes will be here any minute to drag you back home where you belong, and then Mrs Jenkinson will come back and everything will be as it used to be. Except for that hussy stealing away Darcy, I will never forgive her for that, never! My brother Spencer said you're quite the thing in London, Miss Elizabeth, and advised me to admit defeat and welcome you into the family, but that will never happen! Not until my dying day will I accept the blood of my family to be thus diluted and defiled.'

Elizabeth is not planning to say anything, she looks more like her father than ever, enjoying herself hugely over the follies of mankind, and indeed Anne's formidable mother seems to have been reduced to some fishwife in a farce.

'Don't be an idiot, mother, you already defiled our family by fornicating with a commoner. Who is a quack, and did nearly kill me, I'm still contemplating suing him, my fian..'

Here Anne is interrupted by the door opening and closing again. Her mother's face lights up, she expects her troops to have arrived, but Anne refuses to feel even the slightest bit of fear. Most likely it is Nick, and if not, her mother's servant has a very strong sense of justice and no inflated ideas of his mistress' importance in the world at large. He will listen to reason, especially if Mr Manners is mentioned.

As Frank and Nick reach a gate, a different one from where he entered the grounds, the young servant says, 'This is the main gate, the road passes by the parsonage, you cannot miss it. Now please keep in mind that despite her offensive way of speaking, our mistress is in fact an old lady, she cannot harm any of you. And please do not quarrel with Hughes, he thinks he can fight but I'm afraid he's getting on a bit and you look rather formidable. I bet a London guard does not last long without being able to handle some kind of nasty weapon, and Mr Manners would hire only the best.

'I heard that, Frank!' an amused voice sounds from the dark. 'Feel free to try my skills any day in the big barn. So I'm getting on a bit, eh, well I'm sure I can still handle two like you between feeding the horses and breakfast, you lout.'

It's the man himself, coming into view right now. He cuffs Frank's ear playfully, he is not really offended, these men like each other, which is probably why Frank cautioned Nick not to take the older man too seriously. He is afraid his friend will get hurt.

'But Frank is right, our mistress is old and not altogether aware of how the world is put together. Which is why I didn't rush over, you may be able to explain better why she cannot start a feud with Mr Manners by abducting his fiancée. If I refuse a direct order she will feel hurt.'

'You're not afraid to be fired?'

'Not particularly no. I'm more afraid you'll beat me to a pulp with whatever weapon you're carrying. Can we go in together and try talking first?'

Well, it's not as if Nick wants to make a fuss. Talking beats fighting any day, and at least he'll get to see his beloved's mother, even if he will not be properly introduced to her. The very thought of Anne doing just that nearly makes him laugh.

The door to the parsonage is unlocked, of course this is a village and who would break into the parsonage? Even if respect for the cloth doesn't deter robbery, the fact that ministers are invariably poor must make their abodes a less attractive target for thieves.

Hughes lets Nick go in first, and Nick's heart skips a beat when he hears Anne's voice raised in anger. Such a firm voice his beloved has, such a strong will. He is not needed here, except maybe to keep Hughes in line after all. Anne's voice has fallen silent from the very moment Hughes closed the door behind them, they have been heard. Now don't hug Anne, her mother shouldn't see them exchanging intimacies, and call her Miss de Bourgh. It will be difficult this time.

The first person he meets when entering the room is Mrs Darcy. She blocks the way to Anne and her mother until she has taken a close look at him and judges him calm and in control of himself. Hughes gets the same treatment, despite her small size she has an incredible presence that Hughes immediately recognises. Maybe Nick should introduce the two of them, Lady Catherine is not likely to do so.

And before the latter can address her servant, Nick winks at Mrs Darcy to show her the situation is in hand and says, 'Mrs Darcy, this is Hughes, who is in charge of security at Rosings. Hughes, you may have heard of Mrs Darcy, this is her in person.'

Nick knows by now that Mrs Darcy loves impertinence, even from a servant who feels a slight need to break the tension in a room. And he is proven right, Mrs Darcy nods politely and offers, 'Pleased to meet you, Hughes. I cannot deny I'm glad to see you come in together and both perfectly calm. This is my friend's house and she is a new mother, we should not upset her more than she already has been by her husband returning in a panic. This place may seem quiet but there is a great deal of suffering going on as we speak. Let us not add to it and rather resolve matters quickly so Miss de Bourgh and I can attend to my cousin and my friend.'

Such dignity, such poise, and such sense, Hughes cannot but be impressed, and he now knows this is Mr Darcy's wife, backing the two young ladies with social influence as well as Nick's physical power.

'I'm pleased to meet you, ma'am, I know your husband well, he is always very kind to staff. I'm sorry to hear Mr Collins is unwell, his parishioners need him in good health to see to our spiritual requirements.'

'Yes, yes, Hughes, enough gadding. Just take Miss de Bourgh and bring her home with us. This farce has taken enough of my evening. Come on, I don't pay you to talk.'

Hughes rights himself and speaks up.

'I cannot do that, ma'am. Miss de Bourgh is an adult and taking her against her will is a crime, a rather serious one, actually. And this sturdy man here is her personal guard, he will not let us leave this house with Miss de Bourgh without being forced to fulfill his duties. So unless Miss de Bourgh agrees to come with you of her own free will she will have to stay here with her friends.'

'You are in my service to do my bidding, Hughes, so do it!'

'I will do anything you ask of me within the limits of the law. What you require of me is not. I take it you have heard of your daughter's engagement to Mr Manners, the bachelor of bachelors?'

'Yes, Hughes, she is my daughter. It is the reason I want her back at Rosings where I can keep an eye on her until her wedding, my undutiful daughter refuses to write so I am forced to read the newspaper to know what she is up to. Now take her and go!'

'Remember the last person you sent to retrieve Miss de Bourgh, from London? Against my advice, I may add? It's all over the neighbourhood, that lowlife was recently thrashed by a group of men with a London accent, in his favourite pub not one mile from here, where he was bragging he'd get Miss de Bourgh after all and would give her a mighty good time on their way back to Kent. Your daughter would have gotten hurt or worse, ma'am. Mr Manners has eyes and ears everywhere, you do not want to put him out. I advise you to leave matters as they are and return to Rosings yourself.'

And before the elderly woman who is Anne's mother can retort, Nick steps forward and faces her menacingly.

'I have permission from Mr Manners to remove you from Miss de Bourgh's presence by whatever means necessary. He will protect me from any legal action that may result. Mr Darcy has promised me the same security to protect his beloved spouse. Hughes cannot stand against me, Lady de Bourgh, I can best him easily, and if he so much as pinches me he will be prosecuted by the best lawyers money can buy. I advise you to desist, you have already lost your daughter's love and respect, do you want her to witness you losing what remains of your dignity as well?'

Ah, that felt good. Being backed by two wealthy, influential men gives a fellow a heady sense of power. Nick does not look at anyone besides Lady de Bourgh, and he looks at her well, to find a resemblance to Anne, to memorise the person who made Anne's life a misery during all her best years. His scrutiny unbalances the lady as badly as it did the filthy thug she sent after Anne, Nick is glad to hear that Frederick sent his own bullies to rough him up.

Finally the lady accepts the facts, but not graciously.

'You have a foul mouth for a servant, young man. I suppose you think you are quite somebody, with your tough talk and lack of respect for your betters. But I assure you you will reap the rewards of your rudeness someday, when you have outlived your usefulness to those above you and they reduce you back to your own level.'

Then she directs her attention to Mrs Darcy, who is not impressed.

'Miss Elizabeth, I refuse to acknowledge your marriage to my nephew, to me you are an upstart and unfit to be his wife.'

Mrs Darcy nods politely and proves her reputation by saying sweetly, 'Didn't I once tell you your displeasure would be easily outweighed by the advantages of being Mr Darcy's wife? Well, it was even truer than I thought at the time, I'm supremely happy and so is Fitzwilliam. Fare well, Lady Catherine.'

The lady hates Mrs Darcy calling her nephew by his Christian name, and she quickly addresses her daughter.

'I forgive you, dear Anne, it is clear your mind has been poisoned by Darcy and this upstart. I hope Mr Manners will keep you in line and make a respectable lady of you, I have some hope you may yet be saved. Give my regards to Mr and Mrs Collins, they have been my sole companions these last few months and I greatly appreciate their faithfulness.'

'But I do not forgive you, mother, nor will I if you keep acting like this. Better leave now before I remove you myself, I think I'm strong enough by now.'

And she turns her back on her mother, trusting Nick and Hughes to see her out. Mrs Darcy is waiting for the lady to leave, apparently her cousin and friend have been the real sufferers in this whole affair. She rings the bell and asks the white-faced girl that turns up to provide a pot of strong tea for her master and mistress.

Nick follows Hughes and Lady Catherine to the door, where Hughes turns around and says quietly, 'Thank you for taking care of Miss de Bourgh, I can see she is very safe with you. Expect someone with her possessions tomorrow around ten.'

He offers his hand, which Nick shakes, leaving the lady waiting. Then Nick goes back in to see how Mr and Mrs Collins are faring. Hopefully Anne doesn't need much consoling, they had such a good day together, maybe she will only feel a certain relief.

When he returns, Anne immediately takes him in a crushing embrace, her slight weight on his neck, her warm breath on his bare throat causing him shivers of love and lust.

'That felt so good! I wasn't afraid at all, I knew I could handle my mother. Though it is infuriating that she just cannot seem to understand people at all. Still, Hughes knows I'm all right, and I suppose Dora and yourself told the other staff plenty.'

'We did, my love,' Nick dares reply despite Mrs Darcy's presence, 'we told them enough to know you're healthy and happy. Dora can be trusted, she did not say even one thing she should not have. Your mother's staff was very kind and very helpful. So many of them just to take care of one old lady!'

Mrs Darcy smiles and says, 'I was amazed about that as well, when our housekeeper showed me around at Pemberley. And I'm certain Lady Catherine has a lot more staff than we have.'

Then she looks at Anne and asks very quietly, 'You do realise Charlotte and my cousin may be watching, don't you?'

Mr and Mrs Collins are in the room next to this one? Why in the world did Anne embrace him then? Mr Collins has proven unable to keep a secret from Anne's mother, what was she thinking?

'Are you all right, Miss de Bourgh?' Nick asks his beloved formally, she is still in his arms, that cannot be helped, but maybe it looks as if she is upset after all and just seeking a bit of comfort. Having come to her senses, she catches on quickly and releases him, though reluctantly.

'Much better now, Nick. Sorry for imposing on you. Can you tell Mrs Collins the coast is clear, Elizabeth?'

And Mrs Darcy does fetch Mrs and Mr Collins, the baby sleeping in his father's arms. Frankly, the poor man doesn't look very much aware of anything, it's as if he has retreated to a safe place inside himself. Still, he may have seen and heard Anne and Nick embracing and exchanging endearments, and though part of Nick wishes Lady Catherine to find out her daughter is sleeping with a servant, he knows nothing good can come of it. But Mr Collins doesn't look as if he has heard anything, he exudes being miserable and nothing else. It seems so demeaning for a man to have to hide behind his wife, Nick just cannot imagine what can cause someone to lose his free will so totally. Maybe it is his position between the ruling class and the common people, Nick cannot imagine Mr Collins actually knowing anyone in the village personally. Or even at Rosings.

Meanwhile, Mrs Collins is very much awake, she helps her husband into an easy chair, baby still in his arms, and pulls another one close for herself. The way she holds her husband's hand Nick would swear she does love him, there seems to be sincere affection in her touch. Apparently Mr Collins is not as insensible as before, for he rests his head on his wife's shoulder and she lets him.

A maid knocks before coming in with tea to soothe ruffled nerves, and Mrs Darcy talks to her in a low voice before dismissing her, taking care to close the door behind her. Then she invites Anne and Nick to sit down while she pours the tea, handing everyone a steaming cup, except Mr Collins, because of the baby he guesses. For him, she puts a cup on a little table beside his seat.

'Could you follow what was being said, Charlotte?' she asks her friend outright.

'I did, but Will couldn't bear the shouting, he retreated to the back of the room with little William. She said we were her sole companions, Will.'

The last is said to her husband, who nods weakly.

'I'm not ever going back there. Tomorrow I'll write to your father to beg for a position in his business. Boys look to their fathers for a role model. I do not want my son to grow up afraid of the world, I want him to be proud of who he is, and able to stand up for himself. He will never see a good example in me while we are living here.'

Again, he sounds like a normal man, it's as if extreme adversity brings out the real Will Collins instead of some grovelling caricature he has created to cope with the world around him.

And when Anne promises the couple to help them find another position, something she may very well be able to pull off with Mr Manners, Mr Darcy, her uncle and several other landed gentlemen in her acquaintance, Nick sees an opportunity to educate the clergyman in finding support right here, where he tries to make a living now.

'Mr Collins, are you open to a piece of advice from someone who has never been his own master in his entire adult life?'

The chubby fellow is surprised by Nick's audacity, that much is clear, but he is so despirited he dare not even protest and nods for Nick to continue.

'If you let Lady de Bourgh's behaviour chase you away from your livelyhood and your house and the people who depend on you, won't you feel humiliated? Won't it make you miserable to admit defeat?'

Good, Nick has his attention, barging in on a very painful subject usually has that effect.

'Instead of trying to find a new position, isn't it an option to stay right here and look for local support? People who will help you find a dignified way to deal with your patroness' peculiarities? If I had problems with a superior there were always others to help me cope. I have met the Rosings' staff and they do not fear their mistress, though they feel she could show them a little more respect. Since she doesn't, they cannot help her feel less lonely, they see her pain but cannot do anything to relieve her current distress. But her temper and her unhappiness do not make them unhappy themselves, they enjoy their lives and make the most of the situation as it is. What I propose, Mr Collins, is that you get to know the Rosings staff personally, even befriend them. Then you will be part of a group, you will have allies who know your patroness and who have found ways to make living with her a lot easier.'

'But won't they lose their respect for me?'

He obviously has never even thought of the other people in a similar situation to himself, dependent on Rosings and at the mercy of a fickle and overbearing mistress. Now for an honest, even blunt, reply.

'How much do you think they respect you now, Mr Collins? Staff see everything, know everything. If you leave now they will understand, but if you stay and talk to them and share experiences, you will find they are all human beings with similar problems to yourself. And you will feel supported and able to face Lady de Bourgh with dignity, which will make her respect you and treat you better. After which you can slowly start to influence her to improve her own life without needing Miss de Bourgh or your constant attendance. You have a wife and child who need you.'

Incredible how Nick offers a totally different solution to Mr Collins' conundrum. He is honest to the point of bluntness, but he is obviously smart and very good with people. Elizabeth is certain it would work, that her cousin would feel better for not giving up, for not fleeing his current troubles. And Mr Collins does indeed seem to take Nick's words seriously, even Nick's suggestion that he has already lost his parish's respect doesn't appear to offend him much.

'You think they would accept my presence? I'm their shepherd, not their equal.'

Though the message is rather overbearing, the tone at which it is said is more plaintive than anything else.

'I dare say you all share a combination of worry for your Lady and disgust over how she treats people. Not just you, everyone. They will not let you into their entire lives, but they will talk to you and listen to you when you need a little heartening. They can give you advice on how to decide what to tell her and what not. Why not try? Even if you can find a different living it will take time, this can only improve that time.'

'You have a lot of faith in humanity, Mr Fowler, I suppose you have had a happy youth, have been treated well all your life?'

Mr Collins sounds almost jealous, Charlotte has told them some of the things he has been through at his own father's hands and Elizabeth was horrified such things had happened in her own family. Her dear father's own brother, taking his moods out on a defenceless boy, his own son. She wonders whether papa ever knew, she hopes not, for breaking contact with his nephew knowing what he was going through would have been a crime. Nick is very dignified when he replies, Elizabeth is suddenly certain he can learn to behave more gentleman-like with a good example, not in the least Simon's, they will spend a lot of time together. But Fitzwilliam is right, he does need to lose the London accent.

'My parents loved me and provided for us, though they left my brother and myself to care for our sisters and youngest brother. We were close, still are. But I have tasted rancour and cruelty, Mr Collins, I know what it feels like. It eats away at one's confidence and sense of self. It makes one feel very lonely. And yes, diminished, humiliated. Love helps.'

And with this remark he manages to look at Charlotte, who looks almost ashamed but shouldn't, it's practically impossible to love a man like her husband. According to Anne, Nick and herself fell in love when he had been beaten up by his direct superior in the Blackwood household and had been helpless and in severe pain. But there is more to their attachment than simple empathy and gratitude, they are a close couple, Elizabeth can see it even now, when they are trying their utmost to hide their involvement in case Charlotte heard something she shouldn't have.

'But Mr Collins, friendship helps, too. Shared burdens are less of a load, that is not just something people say, it's true.'