Chapter 130

Just when Eric thinks he is done for that night, enjoying a glass of wine in the private room that he dares requisite at every one of his shows these days, Manners enters with four young ladies in tow. As if Eric hasn't seen and been polite to enough young ladies tonight, and most of the nights before that since January. But it seems his friend insists on introducing them to Eric so they must be important people. Well, he will be polite, he is always polite, but they'll have to forgive him for showing his fatigue, he cannot hide it anymore, that moment passed when he sat down thinking he was Georgiana's for the rest of the night. Darcy almost intervenes but thinks the better of it. Manners was probably right in the matter of the Prince of Wales, he must be right again this time.

Eric only manages to remember the first lady's name, Miss Helena Cavendish, who apparently is the big sister of the page who brought the crown prince's request for a concert this morning. Has it only been this morning? It seems weeks ago.

'Are you all right, Mr Fielding? You look ready to collapse.'

A kind voice wakes him out of his distraction, and he rights himself and takes a deep breath to answer.

'He's just tired, Miss Cavendish,' Georgiana replies, 'he always gives everything he haves, then lets us take him home. And the next day he does it all over again, never holding back.'

'But how will he manage two concerts tomorrow if one is such a drain?'

She sounds sincerely worried, that is kind of cute. But dear Georgiana, the loveliest, most beautiful and talented woman in the world says dryly, 'Oh, it's not the playing that tires him out, it's the adulation. It's such a burden, you see, we were married last Wednesday and we'd hoped that would put an end to it. I suppose that was a bit naïve. But tomorrow, I guess the Prince won't fall at his feet or try to touch his hair or his sleeve. And the evening concert is in a middle-class hall, there will be admirers but they're generally a little more respectful towards their idol.'

'And here we are, make things even harder on the both of you. I'm sorry, Mrs Fielding, I never realised being admired was a burden. Please accept my congratulations on your marriage, my friends and I will leave you in peace, we don't want to be a nuisance.'

And they really prepare to leave, but Georgiana now says heartily, 'Thank you, Miss Cavendish. Please don't worry, you can stay a while if you don't mind Eric not saying much. He's comfortable enough if we don't force him to contribute anything sensible to the conversation. Do you want a glass of wine? It's excellent, that is the advantage of performing on a private occasion.'

She has real humour, and the ladies can hear she is serious in her invitation. Darcy helps them find a seat, and Frederick pours them wine. Then Georgiana stuns all of them by entertaining four obviously highly ranked, highly educated ladies at least five years her senior, until they are all laughing and chatting with her, perhaps helped by the wine, the glass each the ladies drink that is, Georgiana herself still takes hers too well-watered to influence her behaviour.

After twenty minutes Miss Cavendish gets up slightly reluctantly, followed by her friends.

'Thank you very much for your time, Mr and Mrs Fielding. You are a delightful couple and I can't imagine anyone disagreeing with me on that. I'm pretty sure those admirers don't want to come between you, they merely want to associate with you to feel part of your admirable group of friends. I'm sorry you're all leaving town so quickly, I would have loved to invite you for dinner at my parents' house. Well, maybe next season, if my brother is still in the Prince's service by then. If he's not, I'm afraid my stay here will come to a quick end, my parents prefer the country. I don't, I love town, and my friends.'

As Georgiana says all the expected things, Eric merely shakes whichever hand he is offered and mumbles a polite nothing. As soon as the lady and her entourage have closed the door behind them, Georgiana sits on his lap and kisses him soundly.

'That wasn't so bad, was it? Let's go home before someone else wants to come in. Was this what you had in mind, Frederick?'

'I'm impressed, Georgiana, you have come a very long way from the shy girl you used to be. You and Anne will be a formidable team of charmers.'

'And I'm starting to see what Anne likes about it. That Miss Cavendish was quite a nice girl. The others didn't seem to have any character to speak of, but I would have liked to get to know her better.'

Anne and Nick have gone to their rooms, together, but with Lady Catherine aware of Anne's presence it is not remarkable that Anne's guard would choose to accompany her wherever she goes. Mr Collins retreated shortly afterwards to take little William to his crib and he has not returned.

'He probably fell asleep beside him. Do you want to turn in yourself, Eliza? I'd like to chat a little longer since we're finally by ourselves, but if you're tired...'

With everything that happened and without her gorgeous tall husband by her side Elizabeth is certain she couldn't sleep at all, besides, this visit is meant to please Charlotte.

'I'm fine, Charlotte. Just pour me some more of that wine and I'll tell you everything.'

Her friend laughs and indeed fills their glasses once more.

'I've missed you, Eliza, your sense of humour, and how good a friend you always were to me. But these days, you've grown into your role as Mrs Darcy so much I also really admire you. It's not just having a rich husband and fashionable clothes, there is more to you, much more.'

A bit surprised, Elizabeth nonetheless realises Charlotte is right, she has changed from a country girl to a woman of the world. People look up to her for more than just the latest fashion, and it doesn't even bother her anymore. She can match their expectations, she can lead a household and give a good example. Lady Catherine really did not touch her with her childish remarks, Elizabeth is certain the old lady will soon start to realise she is only hurting herself by alienating Mrs Darcy, losing her nephew, her daughter, even her brother and his sons as a consequence.

Charlotte is waiting for her to say something.

'You are right, Charlotte, I have grown to fit my role as Mrs Darcy without even noticing. Imagine.'

'Dear Eliza, I want to check on my two men for a minute, I'll be back in a minute and then we can have a nice long chat. Is that all right with you?'

Thinking Anne and Nick should have removed themselves from the hall by now, Elizabeth nods and observes, 'As long as I have my glass of wine to keep me company I'll be just jolly!'

'Oh, Eliza, you're just incorrigible!'

As Charlotte leaves the room, Elizabeth feels so much older and wiser than her friend, though Charlotte is actually closer to Fitzwilliam's age than her own. Living with Frederick and Simon has caused Elizabeth to grow up really quickly and really thoroughly, and though her newly acquired knowledge is not something to be proud of, Elizabeth wouldn't miss it for the world.

When Charlotte returns she is indeed much relieved.

'They were both sleeping beautifully in my bed. I'll think of what to do later, I could move to Will's bed instead but I did promise he could sleep with me tonight. I suppose you and Mr Darcy still share a bed?'

Or maybe she isn't as naïve as Elizabeth thought after all?

'You know, for a moment there, I thought Miss de Bourgh was a little more attached to her guard than Mr Manners would find acceptable.'

And still as perceptive as ever, unfortunately.

'Until I saw him standing watch in front of Miss de Bourgh's door just now, like the dedicated servant he has shown himself to be. I suppose Miss de Bourgh was merely a bit overwrought after telling her mother off so forcibly. I can imagine she needed a strong shoulder for a few moments, and Mr Fowler certainly stood up for her like Mr Manners would have done himself.

I'll never forget this night, Eliza, seeing Lady Catherine reduced to a fat old lady by her very own daughter. Who used to be more like a wraith than a human being. And look at her now, so beautiful, and spunk to match. She was so nice to me and even to Will, I can still hardly believe it. What Mr Fowler said, it did something to me, it's what Will was never able to do, find support with the other staff. He considers himself a gentleman and above staff, but let's face it, he isn't. So he'd better swallow some of his pride and find some friends here than beg my father for a position and lose all of it.'

With Charlotte starting the intimate talk Elizabeth dares continue, and she observes, 'He seems so much kinder, my cousin. Was it becoming a father that altered him? I cannot believe angering Fitzwilliam could effect such a change, though I confess he is impressive when out of sorts. And yes, Charlotte, we do share a bed, this will be our second night apart since we were married. I'll miss him terribly.'

'I suppose I'll never find out which incident caused it, probably a combination of three, for do not underestimate what Lady Catherine's mistreatment did to him. He adored her so, and then she turned against him. I have often been sorry for deciding to marry someone I couldn't love, couldn't even respect, but seeing him afterwards did something to me, too. Maybe I do love him just a little, like a big helpless puppy that needs to be protected. Don't we come to love that which we need to guard from harm? Who could help developing feelings for someone unable to defend himself?'

Elizabeth cannot not imagine herself ever loving her obsequious cousin, but to prevent Charlotte's mind from leaping to Nick protecting Anne, she quickly assents and elaborates, 'Well, no-one could help loving little William in any case. He is so beautiful and cute.'

It's very easy for Charlotte to lose track of the conversation when her baby is brought to her attention, and after praising him sky-high, Elizabeth tells Charlotte how Lydia is handling her misfortune. Before they know it, the clock strikes one, and they decide it's time to turn in. Nick is no longer standing outside Anne's door, Elizabeth hopes he is snuggled against his beloved, after having praised her for her courage to stand up against her mother. Before they part, Charlotte says, 'I suppose I'll just leave the baby in his crib and share my bed with Will tonight. He is not handsome like your man, but he is nice and soft, and very clean, and he loves me so. Good night, Eliza, thank you so much for coming over.'

Then they both enter their own rooms, Elizabeth trying to keep her mind from imagining her cousin fawning over her friend and failing spectacularly.

'Why would you want to stand outside my door when you can lie in my arms, Nick?'

Anne does not understand, what madness has come over her beloved? It's obvious her mother won't be back, without Hughes she's nothing and he has made his position very clear.

'We've been careless, Anne, I don't think our host has seen our embrace, but Mrs Collins almost certainly has. I need to prove I'm just your guard, by doing my job where they can see it. Please trust me in this, my love, I'll make it up to you later.'

'It's not my comfort I had in mind, dear Nick, it feels wrong to have you behave like a servant.'

'I am a servant, Anne. And your slave...'

The way he looks at her just melts her heart, but it would add to her folly if she were to kiss him right here in the hallway. Better save apologies and tokens of affection for later.

'All right, I bow to your wisdom. How long will you be out there?'

'I don't know, yet. Patience, my beautiful, I'll be with you before you know it.'

It seems like hours before the door finally opens and Nick returns, though it's probably about half an hour. He seems very pleased, though.

'Mr Collins passed by first, with the baby, he went into Mrs Collins' room and he didn't return. I suppose he fell asleep, the poor man must have had the worst night of his life. Or maybe not, which would be very sad twenty minutes later Mrs Collins saw me right there in front of your door, went into her bedroom, returned immediately and told me her husband had fallen asleep. She promised she would lock all the doors herself so I could turn in and get some sleep. They've both seen me do my job, and I suspect Mrs Collins will stay up as long as possible to enjoy Mrs Darcy's presence.'

'Yes, and Elizabeth will want to stay up late for she will miss her beloved husband.'

'How can she love such a man, Anne? He scares the hell out of me.'

'It's because she is a very brave person. Her courage rises with every attempt to intimidate her. I heard her tell him that when she was staying over right here with Mrs Collins while my cousin was visiting Rosings, and the Collinses had been invited to dine with us. I didn't know then, but Darcy was already half mad over Miss Elizabeth Bennet, only he didn't want to love her because she was beneath him. She hated him for his arrogance towards her, but he didn't know that, he thought she was flirting with him. Do you want to hear what happened next? It's very romantic.'

Nick has removed his clothing and is now lying snuggled against her, not stroking her or nuzzling her, just enjoying her closeness and her story.

'I do, I can hardly believe it. They love each other so, how can theirs not have been love at first sight?'

'Well, as Darcy told me, he met Elizabeth at a party in the county where she lived, and he hated it there. The people were loud and unsophisticated, and in his bad mood he slighted Elizabeth for not being pretty enough to dance with. She of course took exception to that and started to dislike him, which his obvious disdain for the people around her didn't improve at all.

And while he started to fall for her intelligence and ready wit, mostly at his expense she told me, she didn't hesitate to feed and show him her dislike, which he interpreted altogether the wrong way and saw as encouragement. I witnessed them together and he must have been deluding himself, she was very friendly with my cousin the colonel but almost rude to Darcy. Still he proposed to her one evening at this very parsonage and was brutally rejected, not without justification because Darcy had separated his friend Mr Bingley from her eldest sister, making both very unhappy. There was another reason which I am not at liberty to divulge. Darcy was devastated and sick with love for months, until they accidentally met again at Pemberley, his estate.

He showed her he had improved himself, she had found out he had been slandered by someone she had trusted implicitly and now discovered she quite liked the new Darcy. Her affection for him grew when she found out he was actually a good man, and eventually they expressed their now mutual affection and got together. They have been very difficult to separate since.

And now I want to tell you something about Darcy that concerns me, Nick. My mother had always told me that one day Darcy and I would get married to unite our estates. He never showed me love but I thought he'd obey my mother and marry me and take me away from Rosings. Save me, as it were. As Colonel Compton got a blow when Elizabeth married, so I got one when Darcy married. It was only when my uncle took me to London that I started to get over Darcy. I had more or less loved him for years while he never gave me a single thought. In fact he despised me for lacking life and character. When he found out why, he felt very bad and he has done everything in his power to make up for his mistake, and we are very good friends now. But one time I broke my heart over him, on top of the rest of my miserable existence. It's only when I met you that I realised Darcy and I would not have been happy together.'

Nick is so strong and he shows his feelings so easily. Crushed in his embrace, she can hear his voice more affected than she has ever heard it.

'Anne, my love, I thought I knew all you had suffered. On top of everything else, to wait for an unreachable man to rescue you. How I feel for you, Anne, seeing your room tonight, hearing Dora tell me how you lived. How did you bear it for so long? I wish I could love you even more to make up a little for all those years of emptiness and despair, but I already love you with all my heart and soul.'

Of course, he has been in her room! He has seen the place where she spent her days in languor and sameness, but he is forgetting one thing. She kisses him as he always kisses her, small, loving, all over his beloved face and his strong neck. Then she tries to soothe his feelings, for he is truly upset and there is no reason to be so, she is so very happy lying here with him, their future together secured.

'Though I was unhappy it was not an acute pain, my love. Not like Darcy, who couldn't eat and couldn't sleep and was almost in physical agony from being rejected. Knowing Elizabeth hated him, mostly for the wrong reasons but partly deserved. My life was a kind of haze, I couldn't even feel hurt or deserted. The days just slipped past without joy but also without true pain. And I'm so happy now, my beloved, I love you so much, you are so good to me, I felt so safe when you came in tonight and told my mother you'd do whatever was needed to protect me.'

'I dared do that because Mr Manners and Mr Darcy assured me they would back me, whatever I did. And besides, you didn't even need me, you handled your mother perfectly fine yourself.'

'You're still my hero, maybe I didn't need you to protect me, Nick, but I need you more than anyone.'

They lie in each other's arms for a long time, perfectly content to just relish the other's closeness. But then something changes, his stroking becomes more intense, her kisses find his lips instead of the soft skin of his throat, heat overcomes deep feelings, and soon they are making love with passion.

After a surprisingly restful night, Darcy feels expectant like a child on an outing, Elizabeth is coming home today! Undoubtedly bearing exciting tales of babies, deep conversations on fashion and the latest news on Will Collins, rogue preacher at Hunsford, Kent. Or maybe Nick Fowler did run into trouble breaking into Rosings and she will indeed have something interesting to tell. Not a chance, most likely those who stayed behind will have the taller tale to tell, with Darcy's baby-sister about to gain the Prince of Wales' approval to further her husband's career. And maybe her own?

They do not appear any different at breakfast, Georgiana and Fielding, well, his brother-in-law's state of boneless relaxation, as rare for him as it was ever for Darcy himself, has not returned. Poor chap, to have that delightful state interrupted by a royal summons. Maybe he'll find it again at Pemberley a few days from now.

'No nerves, no anxiety?' Manners asks laughingly, and both newly-weds shake their heads.

'It's just another show, Manners,' Eric observes very dryly. 'Except without the adulating masses. Frankly it'll be a relief.'

Now Manners' eyes narrow and he looks at Georgie and Fielding alternately and very intensely.

'Do not underestimate the power of the Heir Presumptive, either of you! It's not a mere concert, you two, and I do not mean where the music is concerned. The prince is very dedicated to the arts and will appreciate romantic music, and he is not a critical listener, nor will any of his friend be. But he is a charmer and may make you inclined to be familiar towards him. Don't! Stay formal at all times, give him and everyone around him their due.'

And he explains exactly how those who serve the prince are usually of very high birth, like the page. Apparently he has used his connections to find out exactly whom they can expect in his entourage, and how to address them.

'I wish I could come with you to smooth things over, but I am not invited. My friend Lady Harrington tells me this is not accidental, I am known as a supporter of the crown and therefore seen as a kind of spy.'

Darcy wonders whether Manners isn't overestimating his own importance, but of course he has no idea how things are between King George and his eldest son. Lady Harrington however should know.

'And last but not least, Prince George is a real ladies' man. You may be newly married, but he has proven time and time again marriage vows do not mean anything to him. At the moment he is reputed to be enchanted by Mrs Maria Fitzherbert, and he does indeed prefer women with a lot of life's experience, but still I would advise you to stay on the safe side and be polite but not too entertaining or interesting. Why invite trouble by attracting too much of his attention?'

Even more advice follows, and Fielding and Georgie listen with interest, Darcy can see them trying to commit it to their formidable memories. While Darcy tends to take Manners very seriously, he doubts whether his warnings are necessary. After all, isn't Fielding right, isn't this just another show?

'We'll keep everything in mind that you have told us,' Fielding concludes. 'I for one am glad to know that the man guiding us inside is in fact a noble, though I don't think I'd have treated him differently if I'd thought him a commoner like myself. Still, I won't worry about all this either, Georgiana and I will play our best, and then we'll leave. I suppose His Highness won't even notice us much, we're not that important.'

And though Manners seems to differ in his opinion, he wisely refrains from saying so. The main thing is that they perform well, and that is always easier when feeling at ease.

'I'm certain you will do really well. Now, let's see what the papers have to say about the situation in France.'

In the face of such horrible stories it is easy to forget their own little worries, until Johnson comes in with a familiar page in the royal livery. Maybe the prince is unwell and Georgie and Fielding are not needed?

'Good morning lady and gentlemen,' the boy announces, as self-assured as he ever was, 'my Prince sent me over right after breakfast to assure his afternoon will be exactly as he envisions. My description of your party caused him some concern, since Mrs Darcy seemed to be lacking and he especially wishes to meet her.'

'Mrs Darcy is in Kent, visiting a friend, Lord Cavendish,' Manners replies, apparently unmoved by this disturbing request, 'she is not expected back in London before three or four today at the very earliest.'

The boy's attitude is starting to irritate Darcy, either he is totally unaware of the impropriety of the Prince's request, or he just doesn't care. Darcy suspects the latter. Fortunately his newly found self control will not be tested, for no-one expects a genteel lady to make an appearance after a morning's drive. Not even at the Prince of Wales' request, especially not at the royal heir's house, it would take at least an hour to prepare for such high company.

'Great, that is right on time,' the boy comments, nearly provoking Darcy to a most unseemly comment on his future ruler's sense of common propriety. He manages to leave matters to Manners, hoping he'll excuse Elizabeth from accompanying her sister and brother on account of the fatigue of her travels.

'I'm certain she will be honoured to be present, Lord Cavendish,' Manners replies, shocking Darcy to the core. Is that really necessary? Cannot Elizabeth plead fatigue as an excuse to not appear in the presence of the notorious womaniser? She may be much younger than Prince George's general taste in women, but people always say she seems much more mature than her years. He cannot risk losing her. The Prince doesn't care if a woman is married, he takes what he wants. Can Darcy trust his beloved to resist the man's charms? Of course he can, but cannot even Elizabeth be forced to submit to such a powerful man?

Before Darcy can fret himself into a state, Manners intervenes.

'Don't do it Darcy! You know she loves you and only you, now please give her the trust she deserves. Elizabeth may be young but she can handle herself in any situation, even when faced with a spoiled prince. Without offending anyone. Besides, Prince George may be charming, he is also nearly forty, rather chubby and, if my source may be believed, he has his mistress living under his roof. She will be with him all the time, and you may rest assured she will keep his attention on herself. So, you stop worrying, and those two take this a tiny bit more seriously, and all will be well.'

Since there is nothing else he can do, Darcy decides to do as Manners suggests. There is plenty he can do to keep himself busy until Elizabeth returns, and after breakfast he retires to his study to write some letters of business.

It promises to be a busy morning, but Elizabeth really wants to return to her old haunts at Rosings park, so she decides to get up early and reminisce before breakfast. Since yesterday evening she is no longer afraid to be caught by any of her Ladyship's servants, the most senior servant in the household knows who she is and they'll leave her in peace. And as far as Elizabeth knows Lady Catherine herself never stirs outdoors. Besides, it's mostly good manners that would keep her from visiting the park, not fear of Lady Catherine or anything.

Charlotte is already up and busy, she looks well, fortunately spending a night with her husband doesn't seem to have done her any harm.

'You're up early, Eliza, couldn't sleep without your man?'

Charlotte sounds almost naughty, and Elizabeth replies with a laugh, although what she says is the plain truth.

'I slept like a baby, but I really want to take a stroll through the park before breakfast. There is still so much to be done and discussed before we leave.'

'I suppose you want to go out by yourself, to meet the Mr Darcy from the past?'

Such insight from Charlotte! Her presence would indeed be a hindrance to Elizabeth just this once.

'Thank you for understanding, Charlotte, yes. I have an appointment with someone from my past, and I think he will only turn up if I'm by myself. Unlike the real Mr Darcy, who would sit in company as easily if only he could watch my every move.'

Talking of Fitzwilliam as Mr Darcy feels a little strange, even naughty. But Charlotte doesn't know that, nor will she ever. Fortunately Elizabeth can be pretty certain now that no-one will ever know about his peculiarity, according to Nick's forthright report the gossip about the Darcy family circulating among the servants does not include the master of the house suffering from humble spells. Besides, those seem to have abated for now, according to his own explanation because he has conquered his irrational jealousy.

'It's still the most romantic thing I ever saw, Eliza. Imagine his feelings when he sat in that very chair that one evening, not saying a word. I watched him for at least half an hour and his eyes never left your face. How he must have smarted when you rejected him for spurning you that time you first met. Of course he wasn't very kind to you most of the time, but still I often wondered how you stuck to your word even though he might have been your family's deliverance from misfortune. I don't think I could have kept Will from turning you out after your father's decease, not then, he had such feelings of rancour towards you for spurning him.'

Charlotte thinks she'd rejected Mr Darcy just to spite him? That needs a little elaboration.

'Maybe you should come on this walk anyway, Charlotte, and I'll tell you why I really rejected a man of Mr Darcy's consequence. It was not just injured pride, you know, there was a lot more to it.'

Deciding in an instant what to tell Charlotte and what to keep from her best friend, Elizabeth waits until Mr Collins comes in from feeding the chickens. After the most sincere and kind greeting the two cousins have ever exchanged, little William is handed to his adoring father and Charlotte and Elizabeth go out for a ramble in the park. Remarkably, Mr Collins does not warn his beloved wife to steer clear of the park, maybe she didn't tell him where they are going.

Contrary to what Elizabeth expects, Charlotte seems not at all in a hurry to hear particulars, she merely enjoys the moment, the smell of a fresh spring morning, the green buds swelling on the trees, the sounds of cattle lowing in the distance. They walk in silence, crossing the road to reach the entrance to the park. And because of her friend's patient attitude towards the intimacies she expects to hear from Elizabeth, the memories do come.

'This is where he handed me his letter, the day after I rejected him,' Elizabeth speaks her thoughts out loud, realising Charlotte doesn't know about the letter but unable to elaborate because of the flow of her feelings.

'I didn't want to credit what he wrote about Wickham, but everything just fell into place, I couldn't help but believe his side of things.'

The little bench is still exactly the same, the view towards the house, the large chestnut not yet in bloom or in leaf but budding ferociously. She continues towards her favourite walk, almost expecting Mr Darcy, not Fitzwilliam but his proud, reticent former self, to turn up. How would she have acted if she'd known, both his true character and his feelings towards her? Again she speaks her thoughts.

'I told him it was my favourite walk, to warn him away, but he took it as an invitation. Later he told me he'd allowed himself to look for me here only every third day when he ached to go every day. He was afraid to create expectations. How could he not have seen I didn't want him? And why didn't he show any of his feelings, why wasn't he nice to me?'

Charlotte obviously understands these questions are rhetorical for she does not answer them but merely listens to whatever her friend has to say. She probably likes to piece the snippets of information together to form an image of what happened that night in her very own home.

'I'd be rambling along, usually walking pretty fast, sometimes strolling to enjoy how beautiful this place was in spring, every day adding to its beauty, and then he'd turn up, again. I never saw how handsome he was, I was merely impressed by his formal dress and his aloofness. I likened him to his aunt, arrogant, feeling himself above me, why would he go out of his way to meet with me? It never occurred to me he might be in love or I would have tried to get to know him. Not with the intention of marrying him, I was more than half in love with George Wickham and resolute to hate his worst enemy. But I could have gotten to hate him less if I'd known him better. Instead, I felt very uncomfortable, I didn't want to entertain someone I disliked so I let silences fall constantly to make him pick up his side of the conversation or feel as uncomfortable as I did. But he never felt it that way, he was just relishing being close to me, trying not to but unable to help himself.'

They walk on, Elizabeth feeling Mr Darcy's presence, now recognising the signs of his affection in her memories of him, his demeanour, the sparse things he had told her, the questions he'd asked her. She remembers their moments together as if it was yesterday, not a year ago in a different world. He did indeed show some attachment, but very subtly. The girl she used to be could not have discerned them, not with his general behaviour so formal, even distant.

'I could not have known, could I? He did not suffer in vain, I was not heartless, though I had been nursing my dislike of him.'

She knows she didn't hurt him on purpose, and everything worked out well in the end, so she calmly tells Charlotte how her union with Fitzwilliam finally came about.

'I refused him because Wickham had told me Mr Darcy had ruined his life, on purpose, just because he could, and I believed him. And because Colonel Fitzwilliam had told me his cousin had prevented his best friend from marrying a woman he deemed unsuitable. Mr Darcy separated my sister and Bingley, making her very unhappy. And during his proposal he insulted me again, emphasising how much of a degradation it would be to marry me. I had reasons to reject him, Charlotte, though in the matter of Wickham he proved to be blameless.'

And she tells her friend everything with regards to that worthless fellow, including how Mr Darcy forced, or rather tempted, him to marry Lydia after their elopement. She only keeps Georgiana's intended elopement to herself. Telling Charlotte about Wickham, Elizabeth realises she was very close to falling in love with him at that time, Miss King most likely having been the only thing that saved her. Maybe her aunt's warning, too, but if Miss King hadn't come into her inheritance and he had continued his attentions to Elizabeth...

Her accidental meeting with a reformed Mr Darcy at Pemberley nearly makes Charlotte swoon.

'It's even more romantic than I thought, Eliza, to think he did that for you, change his attitude, save your sister's reputation, and all this without the slightest hope of ever being able to win your hand. I admired him already, but from now on I adore your man. So handsome, and such a good person. If you weren't my best friend I'd envy you. As it is, I'll keep it to myself to swoon over when I feel the need for some romance.'

'But Charlotte, in a way Will's devotion is rather romantic, too.'

'It's a vast improvement on what it used to be, except I wish he had a little more backbone. But he does think these days, and he can see there are more sides to things that just the one he has been taught. Still, there are worse ways to live, Eliza, and generally I'm quite happy. I will miss you, though. I suppose I'm going to take Miss de Bourgh's man's advice to heart and find support right here in the village. Will didn't used to like my spending time with people he considered beneath him, but Mr Fowler is right, it will be a relief to have friends here. I suppose Will never had any friends, but I think that Hughes fellow would be good company for him, and the steward. I'll take care he spends some time on them, and I'll find some friends of my own. And if another situation can be found we'll find new people right there. I'll write to tell you how it goes. He was so sweet last night, so tender and careful, when he used to be just passionate.'

Too much information, Charlotte! Mr Collins is her cousin, and Elizabeth prefers not to have to imagine him in the bedroom. Fortunately her friend does not offer more details but elaborates on the continuing change in her husband.

'I do think it's having a child that changed him most of all. He has been humiliated all his life, Eliza, I thought Mr Darcy confronting him with his misbehaviour changed him but now I do think there is a limit to what a man can be forced to learn. I think the real change must come from within, must be real growth.'

Well, Elizabeth will help her hope, first of all that Will's humiliation will finally end, and secondly that he will continue to grow. It would make life easier on Charlotte and himself, and it would give their children hope for the future. Hope to grow up confident and assured of their parents' love and support.

The park is as beautiful as it ever was, and Elizabeth feels very close to her friend, to have shared the story of Fitzwilliam's love for her in the place where it was first brought to Elizabeth's attention. Right under the nose of her friend, who was the first to have a suspicion of it.