Chapter 139

Looking at Mr Darcy, Nick was afraid he'd really gone too far this time. But Mrs Darcy had that effect on him, there was something about her that set him at ease, and her pert remarks just asked for a charming return. Mr Darcy had a reputation for being very jealous of his pretty young wife, and during their trip to Kent she had more or less confirmed that reputation to at least hold a grain of truth. And here Nick was flattering her right under Mr Darcy's handsome nose! His expression seemed merely thoughtful, but who knew why? Maybe he was planning ways to get rid of his cousin's irritating lover.

'You know I never realised Mrs Reynolds having been raised a lady either?'

Simon was so good at reading people's moods. And he wasn't afraid of breaking them.

'I used to consider her superior attitude a bit overdone, as well as her insistence on absolute order within the household. I did not like her having power over me, generally personal staff can get away with a almost anything as long as they please their master or mistress. But since Janine and Theo, and becoming a housekeeper myself, I have started to appreciate her ways more and more, and now I also understand them: she was raised to be the mistress of her own household, not run someone else's. Shall we fetch the lamps, Nick? We can be back by the time Mr and Mrs Darcy have admired the rooms we chose for our personal use.'

As Mr and Mrs Darcy nodded their approval of Simon's action, and Frederick once again showed his admiration of his lover openly, Nick was only too glad to escape their company for some time. It was so confusing to be familiar and respectful at the same time. How did Simon do it?

With satisfaction, Nick noted that Anne had already nudged her fiancée, who quickly wiped his bemusement off his face. It couldn't hurt here, among friends, but he shouldn't form the habit.

'She really likes you, Nick,' Simon observed once their companions had moved towards the large room with the magnificent table, and they were themselves descending the staircase.

'I remember feeling her disapprobation when she first came to town, right after their honeymoon. She thought I was too familiar with her husband, and she disapproved of Mr Darcy favouring me over the rest of the staff. I suppose she was right, Mr Darcy's favour did cost me because the other servants were jealous and decided to make my life miserable over it.'

'I can imagine how you must have felt, Simon, unable to look for help for fear of exposure. Do you really think Mrs Darcy likes me? Should I stay out of her way? She as good as confirmed the rumours that her husband is very jealous of her attentions.'

'I wouldn't worry if I were you, she is not attracted to you in that way, it's just her liveliness towards someone she is starting to consider a friend. It took me months to get to that stage from being considered a personal servant who lacked proper respect. You merely accompanied her on a two-day trip. It must be your famous skills with the ladies.'

That was a very dangerous road for people's minds to travel, Nick hoped Mr Darcy at least would not take it. To hope that they didn't know of his past as a philanderer was futile, Anne had told him Mrs Darcy had found out from the staff. He merely hoped they could see how much he loved Anne, that his roving eye was a thing of the past.

'I'm sure the Mrs Darcy you met was not the same who proposed to take me to Kent and let me ride inside the carriage with Anne and herself, Simon. I think she must have been a little more like the Miss de Bourgh I met at the Blackwoods', used to servants being invisible and unheard. You probably were the one to teach her we are people, too.'

'I suppose it was me, and Fanny did her share. Say, Nick, you do realise Dora is head over heels with you, don't you? You cannot keep pretending everything is just jolly, you'll have to address this sooner or later. Preferably sooner, since she will have a difficult time being left behind in the servants' quarters.'

'Are you certain? I know she likes me more than she should, but head over heels, really?'

'Maybe you should take your head out of those spun-sugar clouds where you have been keeping it the last weeks, and take a good look at her. Then tell me she isn't in love with you.'

'For how long did you say? More than a week?'

'Ever since Anne and Frederick announced their engagement. As if she suspected you of loving Miss de Bourgh and her engagement made it safe to pursue you.'

Damn.

'She knows I'm in love with Anne, but she thinks hopelessly. I may have inadvertently made it worse: at Rosings we both had a bit of a shock seeing Anne's room there, and I held her while she cried over those memories. I did remind her I don't date colleagues, but no-one knows better than I that you cannot force love, nor stop it altogether once it's there. What do you propose I do? Give her the lecture again, though it's too late?'

'The truth would be best, but I suppose Frederick won't approve of telling her about us.'

'She doesn't talk, you know, and it would make it possible to include her a little more. You know one of the menservants at Rosings loves her, a really nice chap called Frank.'

'That is four days away, Nick. Five or six by post. And she told me she wants to stay with her mistress, she wants to see the world, I guess. I'll mention it to Frederick, if you take care to discourage her.'

'I'll be on my guard, she'll be watching me. I've had girls in love with me before, Nick, and Dora is like a sister to me. I don't want her to feel hurt, but I never did anything to give her hope, I even acknowledged my love for Anne when she confronted me with it. Thank you for telling me, I do feel sorry for her, I might have made it much, much worse not knowing.'

By now they had reached the common-room, where Mrs Eliot and Mrs Reynolds presided over their staff, of course while doing something useful, like hemstitching napkins or polishing some silverware from around the house. So they were both ladies come on hard times, either after the passing of their husbands or because of an entail, or other circumstances beyond their influence. Well, if there was one thing Nick was good at it was making friends with ladies, of every description. These elderly dames would be no exception, except he'd keep them at a proper distance, of course. Too bad they weren't young and pretty, or he could have used them to show Dora he really did not date other staff.

Simon addressed them as charmingly as Nick would have done.

'Ladies, may we prevail upon you for half a dozen lamps to aid in the mistress' efforts to explore the attics?'

Mrs Reynolds got up and proved her lungs were on the mend by talking at the same time.

'Watch yourself, Maud my dear, Simon here has an atrocious reputation for being a charmer and a flatterer. And I have already heard that Nick is not much better.'

'But they're both so handsome, Maria,' Mrs Eliot protested, 'I just cannot believe they are merely playing with our feelings.'

That worthy lady could have been a professional actress, and Simon and Nick both bowed before her talent.

'I am but your humble servant, Mrs Eliot, without the slightest intention of breaking your heart.'

Simon was nearly as good, Nick felt totally at home here, the atmosphere was so much friendlier than he had expected of the great Mr Darcy's household. But then, Rosings had been even more homely behind the scenes, whereas Nick was certain the front of the house was very formal indeed.

'My friend Simon is right, we live but to serve, and maybe get the tiniest bit of love in return.'

'Oh, you young men! If I were but half my age... I was a ravishing beauty years ago, you know,' Mrs Eliot said, 'I had strings of beaus, and I married the best one, the one who truly loved me. He was a captain in the navy and left me a beautiful son and daughter. I just wish he could have seen them grow up, he would have been so proud. Still, we were very happy, and I hope both you boys will find someone special some day.'

'Thank you, Mrs Eliot,' Simon said, back to his normal voice and attitude. 'I greatly admire your son, he does so much good for the people who depend on him. His sermons are always worth listening to. I hope you will keep visiting when Mrs Reynolds is back to her usual health.'

'Oh I certainly will, young man, Maria and I have found each other's company very enjoyable, we would not let go of our friendship for anything. I assure you, you will see quite a lot of me yet. And you, Nick? While Simon is charming Maria out of her best lamps, you can tell me how you like it here. Little Dora tells me you used to serve as chaperone for two young ladies, which strikes me as extraordinary and at the same time very interesting. What did you do when they were in doubt which dress to choose, and when they were crossed in love?'

As Simon walked away with Mrs Reynolds, Nick wondered how much Dora had told this motherly lady, had she confessed her crush? Dora knew Nick was in love with her mistress, she had never been a talker, but if she fell for the elderly lady's charms it could bring great mischief to all of them. Maybe he should tell Anne about her maid as well as have Simon tell Mr Manners.

'They had a maid to help choose dresses, ma'am, but if they wanted to hear my opinion I offered it. I know quite a lot about dresses these days. And though they were very sensible girls, they did suffer from the effects of love once or twice. Of course they would not seek comfort with their maid, and their mother wasn't very suitable to confide in, so I'd listen to them and even hold them for a few moments. But never without witnesses, they are twins and very close, usually where there was one you could find the other, making it easier to prevent misunderstandings.'

The elderly housekeeper nodded and observed, 'Very proper, young man, you see, Dora also told me about your conquests, and I immediately wondered how far you would take them. So your young charges were safe, but what about the more impressionable members of the staff?'

It was so obvious that Dora had told her about Nick, at the very least his philandering and maybe even her hopes for him. How could she, they had not even been at Pemberley for a whole day! Nick was sadly disappointed, he'd had such high hopes for the little maid, thought she could have come to the continent with them, but if she was a talker after all...

'I admit I have been free with my favours in the past, Mrs Eliot, but my master's family has always been off limits, and I have never dated my colleagues, nor will I. I promise there is no danger of improprieties from me, no matter what you may have heard. In fact, I am trying very hard to mend my ways.'

'Excellent, that is what Maria and I wanted to know after hearing of your inclusion in the master's party. We were warned, you see, and Maria and I waylaid little Dora to gain more knowledge than we'd received so far, after which I offered to talk to you myself. It's easier for me, you see, since I raised my own boy, I know how to relate to young men. Mrs Reynolds never had any children of her own, and had some shocking experiences with a young man formerly of this household. Not a servant, but not a young master either.

I am relieved of my worries about you, but in the course of our conversation with Dora I couldn't help but notice she seemed to think your change in behaviour might be for her benefit. She said you'd told her you didn't date colleagues, but she didn't seem to take that very seriously. I can see you are very serious, though. Let me warn you, Fowler, that girl is going to break her heart over you, and you'd better make certain there will be someone to pick up the pieces. According to gossip Simon is not to be trusted with maids or I'd urge him to be ready to help her, little Dora has seen much change these last months, and she has no friends among the staff, yet. She knows him and trusts him, but we do not want her to attach herself to him instead.'

If this lady could spot Dora's crush within an hour of their arrival it had to be serious. He had warned the poor girl, but he had warned Anne, too, and she had fallen for him. He had known himself that falling in love with an heiress was to get hurt but he'd done it anyway. Love just didn't work that way. What a mess! And poor Dora, all alone in this huge house with people she didn't know, separated from the only people she did know.

But wait, Fanny and Bob were here, too. Nick tended to forget them, they were so inconspicuous. Yet they were kind, and married, and Fanny had a string of little sisters and brothers she'd miss horribly. And it was her first time out of town, away from her family. Maybe Fanny would need some support herself, and Dora had been through the same thing when she left Rosings with Anne.

'Thank you for your observations, Mrs Eliot. I think I know how to support Dora if she is indeed misleading herself over my affections. I did warn her, you know. I will talk to her as soon as my duties allow it, and I will seek out Fanny and ask her to keep an eye on Dora. Now I think it's back to work for me, there will be some heavy lifting to do.'

They would choose a perfect bed for him and Anne to share every night, every single night, for at least as long as they stayed at Pemberley.

'You obviously love your work, Fowler. I am certain we will have an excellent time getting to know each other.'

And just then Simon and Mrs Reynolds returned, had they been waiting for Mrs Eliot to finish her investigation into Nick's character? Probably. Never mind, it was laudable for those two ladies to care about the people who worked for them. No bullying in this servants' hall.

'Can you believe how much beautiful furniture and fabrics you had in your attics?'

Elizabeth so loved to snuggle against her beloved at night, and then talk a little about the day's happenings.

'We, my love. They're your attics as much as mine, even though my ancestors were kind enough to stock them. But no, I still cannot believe what we found. I knew there had to be some interesting pieces, but now I feel a bit stupid to have let Nathan spend about a week scouring the local crafters' shops for a huge table, when we had several up there gathering dust.'

'It's the way you always did things, my love, and besides, none of those was as handsome and as practical as the one you got them.'

'But I didn't choose it myself, it was the only one available. If it had been less beautiful I would have bought it anyway. But I'll learn, I've already learned to appreciate old things, and I'll learn to look for them before I buy something new. Though I still prefer my own improvements over Georgie's mishmash.'

'There is a time and a place for everything, and I think your sister's style of decorating is very appealing. But probably not for a drawing-room. Though I suspect Colonel Drummond may be living in precisely such at this very moment.'

'I wonder whether his estimable lady has taken your advice to visit the glassworks and if so, whether she bought everything there.'

'I wouldn't be surprised, they had so much of beauty, and she so loves her ornaments. Did you ever hear from the Colonel, about the Drummond hunter?'

'Actually, I expect a letter from him to be waiting for me here, I told him we'd be moving soon.'

'Good, I cannot wait to hear about Cavort. Such a beautiful horse, though not at all like my new gelding. Shouldn't they look more or less alike in build if they are all hunters? Bucephalus looks a lot more like mine.'

'Your horse and Bucephalus are both hunters, remember, and Cavort is in fact an army horse turned out too elegant, like Bernice, but I admit, more handsome. It will be a lot of work, though, to create a consistent type, and your horse proves that is not always easy: add too much Arabian to improve the head and the stamina, and the size falls off, as well as the sturdiness. Cavort is the kind of horse that pleases most gentlemen, should he breed true to his own type with hunter mares, his offspring will be coveted despite being in fact mongrels. But if some are throwbacks to his block-headed army horse ancestors, his value as a stud will soon diminish or vanish altogether. Then he'll just be a beautiful curiosity. Much depends on him, and on Bucephalus' ability to improve on the army horse mares without losing their stable characters. I know I'm not an expert, but I have high hopes for both stallions, and Mr Miller and Smith's interest proves they have, too.'

Enough about horses, Elizabeth wanted to hear what her beloved thought of that afternoon and evening's happenings.

'How do you think things worked out with Simon and Nick?'

'I suppose Simon is very pleased with things as they are now, but Fowler seems to still be struggling. It wouldn't surprise me if he felt much more at home in the common-room than in our midst. That is my honest observation, not some wish to be rid of him.'

He was very endearing when he expected to be misunderstood.

'Oh, I understand, and I agree, he would be happier with the other servants at this very moment. It's difficult to fit in with a wholly new set of people, especially when you've looked up to those as some kind of powerful, superior beings all your life. And then you find out they are just human beings who worship their wives and have all kinds of other weaknesses, and still you are supposed to treat them with deference. I'd feel like fleeing back to what I knew, especially if that is Mrs Reynold's domain. She rules, but with a gentle hand.'

He snuggled even closer, he didn't think adoring her was a weakness but most other men would, Elizabeth was sure.

'And yet I think Nick will adapt, and faster than either of us expects. I've heard you use more inappropriate language than him the last two days, though I admit you had good reason, and there is hardly any trace of his London accent left. Do you suppose he will adopt the local manners of speech? Some people do that effortlessly.'

'I suppose Fowler is one of those, but I don't think Anne will offer him the opportunity to be with the servants much, he will mostly hear civilised English spoken, and very likely a lot of French and German.'

'I thought they looked cute while choosing a large bed for Anne's room, but not too large so the maids wouldn't get suspicious.'

'There weren't going to have any of our staff over, were they? To be private?'

'Really? So they are going to let Simon and Nick stoke fires, sweep ashes from the hearths, carry firewood, change washing water, remove laundry and take care of the chamberpots? I don't think so.'

Even in the dark Elizabeth knew she'd scored points, Fitzwilliam had not realised how many truly humble jobs the maids took care of every day. He'd be impressed that Elizabeth did, and he'd love her even more for it, maybe enough to forgive her for discussing Wickham with Earl Compton behind his back.

'Point taken, my love, Manners and Anne will never suffer their lovers to be thus humiliated. Of course they'll not mind others doing it.'

'Neither do we, my dear. But better make sure to have the maids in just once a day at the same time each day.'

'Was there anything in the attics you'd like for yourself?'

'I didn't see much, I promised Simon I'd take care of the lamp, remember? Well, I did, even though I was curious. But I have everything I need right here. And we can go up there any time we like, can't we?'

'We will have to at least once, just you and me, to find evidence of Victoria Wickham and my father.'

'You're not planning on telling Georgiana?'

'Do you think I should? Never mind, of course you do. Which means telling Fielding.'

'And I confided in Frederick this one time, Fitzwilliam. He told me to tell you.'

'The master of intrigue told you to come clear with me?'

'He said intrigue would put a strain on our marriage. You're not angry I told him before I told you? Was planning not to tell you at all until I had evidence?'

The strong body beside her squeezed hers gently, and his voice was still calm.

'When I almost bit off your head when you did tell me? No, my love, without Frederick's support you would probably not have had the raw courage needed to tell me something like that. And as it turned out, rightly so. I'm not proud of taking it out on you.'

'You did not. Why do you gentleman types seem to think you are not allowed normal feelings? Why shouldn't you get angry, or sad, or disappointed? I'm your other half, I want to know what you are feeling, even if it's red-hot anger.

Somehow I still feel responsible for chaining you to Wickham, Fitzwilliam.'

And that was true. Though Elizabeth knew she was not responsible for Lydia's lack of restraint, had even pleaded with her father not to let her go to Brighton, she still felt bad whenever Fitzwilliam suffered from having to deal with Wickham, just because it was having married her that inexorably bound him to his worst enemy.

'Dear, dear Elizabeth, love of my life.'

His voice was like that of an angel, so calm and pure. 'You know how I feel about that, and nothing has changed: if I had told the world what a worthless piece of sh... rubbish our brother-in-law was, your father, or at least your sister's companions at the camp, would not have let your sister come anywhere close to him.'

Elizabeth had long since concluded that her father hadn't cared what happened to Lydia at all, until he realised her elopement rubbed off on her eldest sisters. Had that not been the case, she was convinced he would just have put Lydia out of his mind and resumed life as before, leaving her to reap the consequences of her own foolish behaviour. But Elizabeth had also come to realise that Lydia's uselessness had been at least partially to blame on her father: he had never done anything to try to educate her or instil some morals or values in her. Nothing. A governess might have helped to at least teach her some religion and thus conserve her respectability. Fate had been very kind to three of the Bennet girls, but painful as the realisation was, not thanks to their father. Still, she couldn't help but love him, he had always been a good father to her.

'You know I tried to get papa to stop her from going, Lydia would have found a way to discredit herself in Brighton without Wickham's help. But it was of no use, he just didn't care.'

'I know, my love, and still I kind of like him. My dear Elizabeth, I love you more than my life, do you honestly think I care how silly your relations are? I admit, I do not have your father's talent to laugh at their foolishness, but I'm pretty certain he has had years of practice. And I also admit they have annoyed me at times, but who cares? You have accepted my worse-than-silly relations without hesitation, you've been insulted time and again by Aunt Catherine and yet you would have visited, and you were prepared to welcome Anne before we all found out she was actually superb company. We do not choose our relations, my love, we can only bear with them. And if Wickham is indeed my half-brother by blood this whole discussion is futile anyway, for then it won't matter which of us saddled the other with him. Imagine Aunt Catherine's face when I tell her. I seriously think it may kill her.'

'Then she is a hypocrite, for she was seeing a commoner herself, and I guess a less talented one than Mrs Victoria Wickham. Wickham himself cannot help what his mother did. Of course it is my firmest believe that your aunt is a hypocrite.'

'I can say very little in my family's defence, except that uncle Spencer adored his wife.'

'And undoubtedly, someone will object to that, too. I love you so much, and I'm so glad to be back at Pemberley with you.'

'You have no idea how much it means to hear you say that, Elizabeth. You know I love you more than anyone, and I'm glad to be at Pemberley with you, but I'd just as soon live anywhere else as long as I can be with you.'

That was very sweet of him to say, but someone she couldn't imagine Fitzwilliam working for a living, bowing to a superior. It was much better this way.

It had been a lot of hard work for Nick and himself but it was worth it, lying in their very own room in their very own bed, without having to sneak through the house past midnight. They had merely retired to their own rooms, Simon's containing a beautifully designed but simple-looking narrow bed, and after undressing there and tossing and turning a little between the sheets and blankets, Simon had used the inside door to enter Frederick's more opulent room. In a state of total undress, why not? No-one was going to see him.

Frederick's bed was a double, ornately carved four poster made of some tropical hardwood, it was in horrific taste but Frederick had taken a fancy to the exotic style. Simon couldn't fault him for it, it was totally in character for what explorers' quarters were supposed to look like, a jumble of outrageous styles just thrown together, and while they hadn't gotten any further than a bed for everyone, they had seen enough quality pieces to furnish all their rooms to their liking. But the Darcy attics proved they had been solid, sensible gentlemen for generations, for while the quality was outstanding, this bed was the only truly exotic piece.

It weighed a ton, and even taken apart Nick and he could not have lifted it. Frederick had pitched in with his formidable strength, and even Mr Darcy, who did look more ravishing than ever sweating and heaving, had certainly managed to lift more than Simon had expected.

Despite having his meals in the common-room with Nick and Mr Darcy's staff, Simon had experienced a sense of belonging today that he had rarely felt before, even with Mr and Mrs Darcy present most of the time.

And now, tired but with the satisfaction of a job well done, though his muscles would ache tomorrow, Simon had a less ravishing but much stronger and even more influential man holding him. A solid man, who liked to take charge, but who carefully hid an incredibly tender and vulnerable personality where no-one had been able to find it, until Simon had broken the hard shell of fifteen years of institutionalized education to discover the love of his life.

'I will be stiff as a board tomorrow, Simon, so I'm guessing you will be worse. And Nick, I've never seen anyone give so much as you two did today.'

'It's because we have most to gain, my love. To be with the one we love I suppose we'd suffer a little muscle ache for a few days.'

'You know I Anne and I are just friends, and don't think I didn't see you ogling Darcy all worked up. I am the one who should be happiest with our new arrangements, no more sneaking about at night fully dressed, the most beautiful man of all, no exceptions, in my arms. Sometimes I wonder, my love, whether I'm good enough for you.'

'Rubbish, Frederick, you know I love only you. I'm pretty certain that aching for someone I knew to be unavailable was my way of coming to terms with what I am. It's easier that way, you can experience the feelings without the danger of having to act on them.'

Simon stroked the massive chest and arms with tenderness, the hard muscle and the profusion of hair all over them didn't mean the man inside that strong body couldn't be hurt, or lonely. As Simon had had his years of adversity, of struggling with his own nature and a hopeless but nonetheless very real and deep love, so had Frederick been very lonely and in denial of his aberrant feelings. He'd had to face the fact that he was going to Hell, and that his preferences would at the very least cost him his respectability, and very likely his fortune and even his freedom or his life if they ever came out. Despite Frederick's privileged position in life, Simon suspected he was more damaged by his past than Simon had been. He at least had had a happy youth with loving parents and siblings, Frederick had never known love from the moment he went to school at seven years of age. By the time he had been allowed to go home for the holidays, his mother had passed away, his father unable to give love to a child. An only child, he'd had no-one to turn to, he had grown up, but he had never been raised.

'I've never seen you mentioned in the papers otherwise than as a catch, Frederick. You're good enough for anyone. And still I know I am good enough for you, despite being the wrong sex for the rest of the world, and despite being a commoner.'

There was no answer besides being taken in a firm embrace, contrary to popular opinion Frederick was not a man of many words, not with the person he truly loved. He preferred to show his dedication physically, and his hands on Simon's slender figure, and his sweet kisses, said more than words ever could. Predictably, tenderness soon turned into passion, and the hardwood four poster became the scene of such heated kissing and fondling, licking and sucking, and finally so much heated ardour as it hadn't seen for at least a few decades, if ever.

Sitting against the elaborately carved headboard, sweating and out of breath but still touching each other with small, gentle caresses, Simon knew his beloved had something on his liver. But they had time, this was the countryside, he'd get it out once he was ready. It took no more than a few moments before Frederick scraped his throat and asked, 'Was it very bad to be relegated to the common-room for your lunch? I was about to protest but I just couldn't, people would talk. I was proud how you managed to hide any feelings.'

Dear Frederick, to worry about him when things were ever so much better than they had ever been.

'I didn't hide anything, my love, I have no problems eating with the staff. I like them, and I have been close to you so constantly the last few days, it's like a dream come true. Lugging furniture around, like that time in London you saved me from being crushed by the harpsichord. Though I'd just as soon let you and Nick handle the really heavy stuff, man he is strong!'

'I'm so relieved to hear that! And Nick, did he mind? I didn't think so.'

'He was actually relieved to be back among the kind of people he knows. I've been very close to Mr Darcy for years, I'm used to switching between roles, so to speak. He is not, I think he didn't realise the difference between a Mr Blackwood, and Mr Darcy and you. The size of Pemberley overwhelmed him for some time, until he found out the staff here was much the same. I'm afraid Mrs Eliot did give him a hard time.'

That got a reaction from Frederick, all right. He sat up straighter, and his hands stopped their caresses momentarily.

'About what? He didn't even have the time to do anything wrong! And yet he felt better in the back of the house?'

'She had heard things about him, that he was a philanderer, she was merely trying to protect her charges. He is very charming, you know, few maids could resist him. Can resist him, Dora is head over heels with him and I'm very certain he didn't encourage her at all. On the contrary, he doesn't date colleagues and she knows it.'

'He does look out for her. So he didn't mind? About the housekeeper?'

'I got the same lecture from Mrs Reynolds, and we both thought it was sweet of them. We're your staff, we can do as pleases us as long as you approve. That, Nick understands all too well, which is why he was charm itself in the common-room.'

'Do you think he is still afraid of me? It seemed that way. Nobody has ever been afraid of me, nobody I don't want to, that is.'

'Nick is not afraid of you, my love, but you have to give him time. He likes you, but he wants to serve you, you're his master. I have the same thing with Mr Darcy, and I've known him for years, chased him with a wet towel, laughed and joked with him while travelling. And yet he inspires such respect in me that I cannot call him Darcy unless I really force myself to.'

'He asked you to be familiar?'

Simon merely nodded, but it was dark so he added, 'He did.'

'That is not a little thing, Simon. I'm impressed.'

And strangely enough, Simon felt immensely pleased with that. Had he inadvertently been lying to his beloved, was he in doubt after all whether he was good enough for Frederick?