IMPPRTANT UPDATE! Important to me anyway
Let me begin with I hope you and your family are all healthy and safe! I hope that you're still okay financially and still have your jobs. Thankfully I still have mine, not too busy at the moment but Ill figure something out.
There's something you guys don't know about me, long story short I was abused growing up physically, emotionally and mentally. I never doubted my mother would kill me. I have siblings who had the same experience but we weren't a unit, we scapegoated each other to avoid another beating, I stopped that at some point because it was wrong. And when I was being molested in school, when I told my mother she laughed, no action was taken.
I'm now an outpatient being treated for depression and anxiety disorder, in 2017 I got into an argument with a manager who said she didn't care who lost their jobs so long as she got to keep hers. I forgot to remind myself not all adults can be trusted so realizing that in that second, that I'd still have to watch my back, broke me. I started experiencing chest pain and fatigue. It got to a point where I could only work 4 hours a day then I'd be desperate to go home. The medication I take has helped immensely (I'm also taking therapy don't worry). That was hard, I felt so awful, I genuinely thought I'd be dead within the year.
Right now it's 3 am, I've been up since 1 because I'm anxious about my moving out. I found a cheap place, Ive had to remind myself leaving was the goal last year but I needed a credit score or have someone sign the lease with me. So I got a credit card early this year and it's 703 now, I signed the lease on my own and some of my stuff is there, the keys are right next to me. Ive had to resist my mind's attempts to chicken out, had to remind myselfabout how lucky I am to have found a cheap place, that I have a chance to escape, and that I've been wanting to leave since I was 10 or younger. I've been waiting 15 years for this, I couldn't let this go!
Right now my left shoulder hurts so bad from tossing trash bags full of clothes out the window, my parents and sister (who for whatever reason forgot the abuse she suffered and kisses her butt like it never happened) were gone for the day so I texted a manager telling them I had to take advantage and move stuff out in secret, I didn't give any specifics, and I was able to move those bags into the room I'm subletting if that's the right word.
I found a place in a woman's home with 2 young kids, my room is on the second floor and the other roommates are female so I'm safe. I thought, when would another chance arrive but this woman instilled fear in me. During this process I was so afraid she'd find out and come after me. My stomach has been cramping from the stress but I made sure to eat to keep my strength up. If only I could sleep right now XD
I just wanted to let you guys know what was up, I'm still an aspiring writer, Ill post some of my original work here including short stories and I think one twific. I'm looking for beta readers as well of all ages, it'll be like a side job but I can't pay much, but it'll be something as incentive to have people take time to read it and critique it. Nothing fancy just tell my if the pacing is good, if you like the characters, and if you're eager to find out what happens next. PM me if you're interested.
Again, I hope you've all been well, take care of yourself, and for the love of all that is holy, love yourself, be proud of your accomplishments. Life isn't easy and we've had to be our own heroes. Sorry if there's typos, I did my best typing this on my phone. Smartphones are such a great invention! Not being sarcastic.
I love you all, I really do. I appreciate that we shared the same lifetime so much! Take care, be safe! Edward demands it XD