Chapter 145

When Elizabeth and Georgie came rushing down the stairs as fast as their dresses allowed, Darcy could barely wonder why they were so late. He was first and mostly taken by his beloved's presence. Though most people would consider Anne more beautiful, and his cousin certainly had the intelligence and humour to make her even more attractive, there was something about Elizabeth that was totally unique. And it wasn't just his love for her making her seem so special, others felt it, too.

But why were they so late? Anne and her three men had passed by at least fifteen minutes ago, and though Bob could easily make up for the time, both Fielding and himself had other things to do than wait for their beautiful ladies.

'Sorry Fitzwilliam, sorry Eric, we were kept for a few moments,' Georgie said, then softer, 'Dora was a little out of sorts, we had a little talk. She's much better now, and Bob likes to drive fast, doesn't he?'

Dear Georgie, talking to a servant with, most likely, man trouble. Dora's infatuation with Nick was common knowledge by now, somehow such gossip filtered through the servants' quarters to make its way to the master of the house, in this case via a certain stable hand, whereas he used to hear it from Simon or Fanny. Come to think of it, that was only the last year or so, before that he hadn't known and he hadn't cared.

'He certainly does. We'll be there in time, don't worry. You both look very beautiful. I'm afraid Fielding and I can no longer compete with the other gentlemen, though, especially Manners' younger brother looked ravishing. And they smelled so nice, whereas a little bird told me several times that I tend to smell vaguely of horse. Do you suppose I need a new valet?'

Georgie knew he was joking and so did Elizabeth, but she took his arm and walked towards the carriage with him.

'That would only feed your vanity, my love, you're handsome enough for two, and you know it. You have to let the other men have their moments, too, they are the grooms today, you know, all of them, it wouldn't do to outshine them. But Dora did get a little shock seeing the younger Manners brother. He will need every advantage he can get, can you imagine what it must be like to see the woman you love marry another man?'

Fielding obviously could, he'd been in a similar situation, but he would not have stood by to watch, he would have yielded and fled to the continent. That hadn't been a matter of courage but of principle and propriety, though Fielding wasn't a fighter he was brave enough. Fowler was more obviously a brave man, with his fighting skills and his brawn, he would watch his beloved marry another but only because he could forgive himself for sleeping with another man's wife. He had been doing it for years and years, after all. But never before with the husband's consent, at least, not as far as Darcy could imagine.

'I have had my moments of jealousy, as you well know. But always without reason. All right, I admit Fowler will probably suffer somewhat, but you have to admit he gains much more. Anne is not only his superior in fortune, birth and education, but also in looks.'

'But not in devotion, Fitzwilliam,' Georgie observed shrewdly. 'Can you imagine what it must be like to be loved unconditionally by a man who has been chased by women for at least ten years?'

'I know what it is like to be that man, although I never let myself be caught. But you are right, after what Anne has been through she'd be looking for true affection, not for status. Besides, she'll have that, too. And rightfully so, she deserves it. I admit they have a very good chance of pulling this off, and I admit Fowler has reason to feel in need of some dressing up to pull through the coming hours.'

And with Bob keeping the horses at a steady trot, they reached the church in less than five minutes, Manners' carriage already there, of course, and no others, not even uncle Spencer's. This was going to be the most private wedding Darcy had ever attended, and there was not going to be a party afterwards.

During their drive to church they were all rather quiet. Frederick had tossed the whisky back on purpose, he expected the strong liquor taken so quickly to result in a pleasant haze, he rarely drank more than two glasses of brandy on a single evening and the whisky was a good deal stronger. And he expected to need the mood lifter since neither of them was looking forward to what was coming. But frankly, he didn't feel that much better with the booze.

'I'm glad we're keeping this small, Anne, it's much harder than I thought it would be.'

Anne merely nodded, as did the others.

For another five minutes they were silent, holding hands with their partner and waiting for the axe to fall. But when they crossed the bridge and turned towards Mr Eliot's church, Nick suddenly smiled, sat up straight and started to speak.

'All right, this is not going to work out at all. You did much better with an audience, when you announced your engagement. Frederick, you said we were going to be the best actors in the best play ever performed for a very select audience. And you, Anne, said we were going to throw a smashing party afterwards for the four of us. So I suggest all four of us buckle up and present ourselves as if we have an audience of reporters and admirers watching our every move. It's maybe an hour, and then it will all be over.

Anne, you are the most beautiful woman in the world and I love you. Now go get married.'

Simon smiled, and he meant it.

'Frederick, you are the love of my life. Now go get married.'

Somehow, that changed the mood entirely, and Frederick bowed outrageously while handing Anne out of the carriage. Simon and Nick followed easily enough, and they all started towards the church, where Mr Eliot was waiting.

'Miss de Bourgh, you look stunning. And Mr Manners, I didn't know you had a brother, the papers never mentioned it. Do you still plan to keep the ceremony as short as possible?'

What could he say about the clergyman's mistaken impression? Nothing would be best.

'We do, Mr Eliot. Thank you for your kindness. We're expecting Mr and Mrs Darcy and Mr and Mrs Fielding to arrive any moment, and then you may proceed.'

They had to wait ten minutes for the others to arrive, but there was plenty to see in the church, it was a beautiful old building made of local sandstone, small but well kept, and the Darcy pew was magnificent. It did look a bit out of place in the simple church, but he could understand why Darcy hadn't modernized it as he had modernized everything else: it would not have been appropriate, this was how his grandfather had designed the church, and that was how it should be. Simon and Nick took their places in the front, where the staff usually sat during service, and though Mr Eliot seemed about to direct them to the pew he decided not to.

Then the rest came in and to Frederick's immense surprise, Georgiana and Eric seated themselves right next to Simon, and Darcy and Elizabeth walked around the simple church bench to Nick's other side. It was much more appropriate to have their friends this close, and Mr Eliot seemed to recognise that instantly.

There would be no walk down the aisle and no giving away the bride, Frederick handed the rings to Mr Eliot, who then spoke his piece about being a good husband or wife. Well, Frederick would be the best husband he could be, and Anne certainly would present the perfect little wife to the outside world. He managed not to stumble on his words as he spoke his vows and only looked at Simon once right after, as he turned towards the clergyman to take the ring to put it on Anne's finger. Simon nodded his encouragement and winked.

Then Anne spoke her vows in her sweet clear voice, and slowly, Frederick started to feel good. They had pulled it off, the bachelor of bachelors had put his neck in the yoke of marriage, and London's beau monde would rejoice.

As her elegant little hand put the simple golden band on his finger, he felt elated, and he could see she felt the same. When they kissed, they both felt love, and Anne clung to him and whispered in his ear, 'That wasn't so bad, was it?'

And it hadn't been, she was sweet, and if he could have loved a woman she would have been the one. Mr Eliot congratulated them and the others came towards them, Nick and Simon last, of course, but not least. They were very polite, calling Anne Mrs Manners, but their eyes spoke volumes.

Traditions satisfied, they took leave of Mr Eliot and returned to their carriage, eager to be home. Though sitting in a carriage together wasn't a problem either, as soon as the carriage set in motion, Anne was in Nick's arms, and Frederick in Simon's. After an intense five minutes, they were back on the road to Pemberley and they sat up and checked their wedding clothes.

'Simon, Nick,' Anne said, 'we all got married today, not just the two of us. Which is why I hope you will accept these tokens of our unity.'

And, as Frederick had arranged, she took a little box from a storage compartment under the carriage seat, picked out a simple golden band, like their wedding rings, and handed the box to Frederick. He took the remaining slightly smaller ring, and together they put each on their real partner's hand, though on the middle finger. To do differently would give the impression of their being married, which too many people knew they weren't. But to Anne and Frederick they were, and the rings would always be the proof.

Of course this was an excellent reason for him and Simon to kiss, and they did with great fervour, Simon fighting tears but no less passionate for all that. Nick had kissed Anne as intimately, and to their utter surprise, he kissed Frederick and Simon as well. Not entirely as intimately, but nonetheless full on the lips. No longer could Simon keep his eyes from becoming slightly damp, and Anne saw and took him in a familiar embrace. Since Frederick had kissed them all by this time, he merely included himself and Nick in that embrace, and managed to hold all three of them against him at the same time. Then they had arrived, and they were back to newly-wed couple and personal servants.

This time, Bob had kept Darcy's carriage right behind Frederick's, and they all went into the house together. When they took off their coats in the hall, Georgiana asked, 'Will you drink coffee with us? I have something for you that I didn't dare give you in church.'

A knowing look passed from her to Elizabeth, and Frederick had an idea what they were going to give to the married couple. Well, a certain one of the newlyweds most likely, since the other could have little use for Pierre's exploits.

Anne looked at each of her companions in turn, and the others nodded as readily as Frederick did.

'We're coming with you, Georgiana. And thank you all for supporting us in church, it meant a lot to me to see you sitting beside Nick and Simon.'

'Oh, before I forget!' Elizabeth exclaimed suddenly, and she moved towards Simon, took his right hand and kissed him on the cheeks heartily. 'Congratulations to you, too, Simon.'

Then she lifted his hand, and admired his new ring.

'This is the same ring that Anne and Frederick have, isn't it? It's beautiful. I wish you all the best, Simon, we'll miss you very much but I'm glad you found the love you deserve.'

Dear Simon, no-one could make him shy like that except Darcy's lady. And so kind of Elizabeth to think of him. It would have made the wrong impression to congratulate him in the church.

'Thank you so much, Mrs Darcy. I will miss you, too, but we're still here for the summer.'

She did not like his formal address, but she knew it couldn't be helped. She had married into an important family and was supposed to be treated with respect by everyone below her.

As the others followed her example and congratulated Simon, Elizabeth turned to Nick, and kissed him as well!

'Congratulations, Nick. Do you have the same ring? Oh yes, it's beautiful. Marked by Frederick and Anne, well, I suppose you're all in it together now. Let's have coffee and then you can celebrate without reservations.'

Nick bowed in acknowledgement and said respectfully, 'Thank you, Mrs Darcy. And thank you so much for sitting with us in church, it made everything a lot easier on Simon and myself.'

'I've been in situations where I felt a bit left out, Nick, this must have been even harder. We were glad to be of help. Come, please sit down with the others, this time we will pour the coffee and slice the pie.'

And indeed, there were no servants about, they had just left the trays with coffee and pie on the large table. Frederick decided not to assist this time, he was the groom and needed to behave like one for this day. Imagine, he was actually married! To a woman! The most intelligent and beautiful woman he'd ever met, but still, a woman. Well, he'd always known he would, some day, and it had been decided by not just him, but three others. It had to be the right decision.

'Poor Frederick, he's totally overwhelmed,' Georgiana laughed. 'Better sit down and drink some coffee, Frederick. You'll feel much better. Besides, you'll need the support to receive our little gift.'

Well, he would. So he sat down beside Anne, Simon in the chair next to him. Nick was also sitting in a chair, though he did not look particularly comfortable there. And when Elizabeth indeed brought him a cup of coffee and a slice of pie he looked ready to flee, except he couldn't because his hostess sat down right next to him and laid a hand on his arm. Darcy brought her a cup of coffee and a slice of pie, then went back to the table for his own. No wait, he first picked up two more cups of coffee, one for Anne and one for Simon. This was the world upside down, and really funny.

'Are you pleased, Frederick?' a soft voice asked from behind him.

It was Georgiana, with a cup of coffee that she handed him. 'I do think you need a few moments. It's quite a thing, you know, getting married.'

Was her tone slightly patronizing? As an experienced married person to one new to the state?

Her face lighted up in a smile, and she handed him a slice of pie.

'You show your feelings so openly these days, Frederick, when you used to be so inscrutable. Even among friends, I know why you chose to be merely very affable in company. And I'm glad you really thought I was talking down to you because I have been married for weeks instead of hours. Fanny did that, you know, the one day she could, I thought it was hilariously funny.'

'You may always patronize me, Georgiana, especially where, let's say, womanly things are concerned. I have so little experience with the fair sex, I'm afraid I might insult my wife without even being aware of it. Or waltz over her feelings with my college-boys bravura.'

'I'm not afraid of that at all, Frederick, you're not half as tough as you think. Look how well you handled her monthly problem, even before you fetched Nick. Though his idea to use woollen underwear was fabulous, it helps a lot with the riding skirts, too. Nick is used to pleasing ladies, he knows them, and on top of that he practically raised two spoiled girls. And if both of you were to blunder there is still Simon, who has younger sisters and helped to raise me. But if you need a woman's advice, of course you can come to me, I'll be glad to offer an opinion any day.'

'Thank you, that is all I would ask. The coffee is just right.'

'We've known each other for quite some time already, Frederick, I know how you take it. Now let me fetch your present, so you can start your private party.'

Did she know something he didn't, alluding to a party?

When everyone was seated and had coffee and pie, Georgiana rose, holding a gift-wrapped book.

'You probably already know what this is, and I'm going to need it back for a few weeks after you've read it, to have it copied. But it has worked its way into our wit so steadily that I would not want to deprive any of you of the chance to improve your minds. Enjoy, Anne.'

And she handed Anne the book. The wrapping was removed and indeed, it was Pierre's travels. Frederick could not wait to read it, though he expected to find little new information in it. Pierre's tastes ran to women, and though their minds and hearts had been an absolute mystery to Frederick for as long as he could remember, his friends' escapades had taught him what loving them was like. Well, frankly, what having sex with them was like. Much love hadn't been involved in what they did, nor had Pierre known real love, even if he had been a living man instead of a fictional character.

'Thank you Georgiana. I appreciate your giving it to me, and I cannot wait to read it, but I can return it afterwards. I suppose I have Pierre's real-live counterpart to improve my mind in person.'

Anne was right and Georgiana knew it, but still she looked doubtful. At first.

'Just read it first. If you like it we can have it copied. If you have any tales to add, please meet me in the new confidence room some day soon.'

And the laughs she got were not merely polite, they were sincere.

Anne was glad to finally be able to read what Pierre's exploits were all about, but she couldn't help but think she'd rather have read the exploits of Pierre's female counterpart: she wanted to learn about ways to please a man, not a woman. Though maybe Pierre offered those, too, the book had likely been written by a man.

And then the coffee and pie were finished, and she wanted to be alone with Nick and the other two. Would they accommodate her and for once let go of their barriers, be they gentlemanly control or a servant's humility, to talk intimately and show each other their true self?

At some unspoken signal they all rose and took their leave.

'I suppose you'll have your dinner upstairs?' Elizabeth asked.

She didn't think of that, Nick and Simon couldn't fetch it, she was planning for them to be dead drunk by that time. Would they even want dinner?

'Shall I send someone to lay out some cold meat and bread in your headquarters? Then you can fetch it whenever you want.'

Of course she knew what Anne was planning, Mrs Reynolds would have briefed her on the bottle of brandy.

'Yes, please, Elizabeth. Thank you.'

'Enjoy your time together, all four of you.'

'Your lady wife is already taking charge, Frederick,' Eric joked, and it certainly seemed that way. Frederick directed a ravishing smile towards Anne, making the resemblance between him and Nick even more striking, then replied, 'It will save me a world of trouble. And once she starts on my finances it'll save a lot, too, for who could ever bargain with such a ravishing beauty?'

For a moment it was almost as if he did love her, but she knew he was a superb actor. Hopefully she could get him to let go of his act for a few hours tonight, Nick needed to really see the human being behind the powerful gentleman.

As soon as they got to Anne's room, she and Frederick through her door and Simon and Nick through Nick's door, just in case, Simon put two glasses on the table. Anne was stunned, how had he he known her intent, she didn't tell him.

'Mrs Reynolds asked me what a lady would do with a whole bottle of brandy. We thought we'd provide extra glasses.'

See, that was how easy it was to give something away.

As they settled in the sitting area close to her hearth, Anne picked up the brandy bottle and the two glasses that had come with it, setting both on the table. Then she sat down next to Nick, whilst Simon opened the bottle and poured brandy in all four glasses. He handed one to each of them, and said, 'To love and friendship.'

They all returned his toast and drank the brandy, Anne sipping carefully for she had only had some before at Fitzwilliam's army camp and she hadn't particularly liked it. This was better, though, small wonder if one compared army stock to Darcy's personal supply. The men were much less careful, of course they'd had brandy before on a regular basis and they knew they liked it. Nick looked at Frederick in wonderment and observed, 'This is even better than your whiskey. I could get used to such a life!'

Frederick merely tossed back the drink and poured himself another.

'I know it's a waste of excellent brandy, but I'm finally among people I love and trust so much I dare risk talking too much. I feel like indulging. No offence, Anne, but would you mind if I fetched my bottle of whisky? This brandy is excellent, but it's so sweet I'd be nauseous before I managed to become vaguely tipsy.'

Anne didn't have a clue about liquor, she'd just requested brandy because she thought Nick liked it.

'Of course not, Frederick. I'm glad you feel safe with us, drink anything you like.'

Nick had finished his brandy, as had Simon, and they refilled their glasses. Frederick tossed back his second glass, then left the room.

'I've never seen him like this,' Simon said, slightly worried. 'He seems reckless. I hope he won't do anything foolish.'

'Don't worry, Simon, I don't think I can toss away brandy like that, so I guess I will keep an eye on him. I'll drink just enough to feel slightly fuzzy and pleasant. Like that time we went dancing, Nick, we drank watered ale but I drank it as if it was water. Which it most certainly wasn't.'

'That night, Anne, it's etched in my memory. Such a perfect blend of sweet and bitter, to love you and hold you and yet know we were not meant to be together. I loved you so much then, but I do think I love you even more now.'

And he tossed back his brandy as if it was nothing. Anne tried a large sip, and though it burned a little, it was all right.

When Frederick returned with not one, but two bottles of whisky, and a totally different bottle as well, they were all rather bonelessly relaxed already.

'I've brought you something you might find more palatable, Anne. I know you must think I'm a drunk, with so much spirits in my private rooms, but I tend to carry a bottle or two for special occasions. This is an excellent white wine that you may prefer to the brandy, it's not too sweet.'

He'd remembered she didn't like sweet things! That was so heartening. As was the wine, it was much more to her taste than the brandy. While she sipped the wine, the men went through a bottle of whisky in what seemed too short a time. At first they talked about the wedding itself, the service, their friends' kindness to disregard station by sitting next to a pair of servants, how they had dressed up for an event they hadn't enjoyed and hadn't even expected to enjoy.

'You couldn't have done less, Frederick, despite the occasion being for friends only, people would have found out and talked.'

'You say Mr Eliot gossips, Simon?'

'Not Mr Eliot, no, but I saw at least three villagers about when we arrived, which means at least five people saw us, some don't watch openly, you know. And the warden of Mr Eliot's church is not exactly a man of high principles. In short, he likes to gossip. If you'd worn your daily attire he'd have told everyone in the surrounding villages, and they'd wonder why. Now, they'll only be outraged by Anne wearing split skirts.'

That could not be true. What did villagers care in what clothes someone got married?

By now, Anne was starting to feel pleasantly fuzzy, and she felt like snuggling a little with Nick. She sat on his lap and was received with an ardent kiss with very strong taste. If that was whisky she did not particularly like it, though maybe it was better than the brandy. She didn't doubt it was much, much stronger, and Nick's self-satisfied look more or less proved he was more than a little intoxicated. Had he ever looked this relaxed before? Did that mean he was always was a bit tense, even when there was just the two of them, even at night, after making love?

Simon caught her eye and gestured to sit next to him, did she show her consternation that clearly? She did not want to leave Nick, not even for a minute, but right then he addressed Frederick in a lazy voice that seemed to fit his mood perfectly.

'That was a lot less agonizing than I expected, Frederick. Thank you for being so considerate.'

Anne got up and sat next to Simon, she wanted Nick to talk to Frederick after all, without restraint and that also meant without her. Frederick bent forward to catch anything Nick had to say, but with Simon's attention now on Anne, he soon got up as well and moved to the chair next to Nick, filling all their glasses once more before settling against the back rest.

Simon now snuggled against Anne, he'd also had his share of the liquor, and asked, 'Why the face, Anne, are you sorry to have married us?'

Certainly not, but he didn't mean it, it was just his way to invite her to speak her mind.

'It's Nick, look at him, I've never seen him so totally relaxed. Does that mean he is always tense? Even when he is alone with me? Even after making love?'

Simon took a good look at Nick before replying, and in the silence they could hear Nick saying, 'I don't know, Frederick, I certainly didn't use to be. I'm sure my parents thought I was heading for the gallows by the time I was fifteen.'

Then Simon replied, and Anne could no longer hear what Nick and Frederick were talking about, but that was good, that was what she thought Nick needed.

'It's the whisky, Anne, it has nothing to do with you. I'm sure Nick is altogether himself with you, especially right after making love. He didn't have the chance to tell you, yet, but I found him this morning lying on his own cot, without a thread on him, smelling into high heaven. At first I thought he was drunk, that's how much you relaxed him.'

'Tired him out, more likely. We forgot the protections, he was very upset. He was upset afterwards, of course, but he forgot them because he was upset to start with, anxious over the wedding.'

'Do you mind very much? Are you afraid to get with child?'

'I know it would be inconvenient and I don't mind using the precautions, but I'm not seventeen like Georgiana, if I want to have children maybe I should be pleased to get a baby while I can. I'm not from a prolific family, like Elizabeth. So, no, I'm not afraid. What happens, happens.'

'And you thought that before you drank two glasses of wine, I can see it. Good.'

'How did you feel this morning, in church, Simon? Was it bearable?'

'No problem at all, Anne. Remember, I always knew Frederick would have to get married some day. I'm merely glad he has a wife who won't fall in love with him and who knows his secret and guards it. Imagine if he had married some ignorant girl who couldn't know. The endless lies and deceit, it wears one down, you know.'

She nodded, somehow things were so much clearer after a few glasses of wine.

'Unless it's in a good way,' he added mysteriously.

Deceit in a good way? Anne didn't understand, but of course compared to Simon she was incredibly naïve. She didn't even have to ask, Simon was in a talkative mood, and he was still sipping from the glass Frederick topped off a few minutes ago.

'Well, you see, sometimes secrets are incredible fun. For instance, did you know that your mother's staff have a drawing-room of their own hidden in the servants' quarters? It looks exactly like Earl Compton's drawing-room in London, except maybe twice as large. They have a piano, and all kinds of liquor, even a billiards table. Those servants not on duty amuse themselves as if they're gentle folks, they even serve pastries.'

Anne could not believe what Simon had just told her, but her head was not too fuzzy to realise it was the absolute truth. No wonder he never drank spirits, they made him incredibly talkative!

'For how long has it been there?'

'I've been coming to Rosings with Mr Darcy for ten years, and they let me in on my first visit. I suppose they liked me a lot. They didn't have the piano then, nor the billiards table. Your mother's steward is in on it, of course, they couldn't hide it from him, not and serve liquor and pastries.'

It was just incredible!

'And Dora, did she know?'

'She most certainly did, though I cannot remember meeting her there.'

'Then how do you know?'

'Nick told me she led him there. I'd told him Rosings was more fun in the back of the house, but didn't tell him why. Dora introduced him straight away, that's how I knew she was in love with him.'

'Nick knew, and he didn't tell me?'

'Of course not, that would have been an unforgivable breach of trust and he knows it. It didn't hurt you not to know. Mr Darcy doesn't.'

'You kept this a secret for ten years, and now you tell me?'

'Of course, we're married, aren't we? I cannot keep secrets from my wife.'

Simon was enjoying himself hugely, but Anne feared he would regret telling her tomorrow. It was up to her to make certain he didn't.

'I understand why no-one told me, or Darcy. But... surely Mrs Jenkinson didn't know.'

'Oh yes she did. She used to regret not having an instrument, she loved to play for the others. According to Nick and Dora they moved in the one from her room, too bad she will never get to play it.'

Somehow it was a small consolation that Mrs Jenkinson had at least had a little time with people who cared about her, making her time at Rosings bearable. In hindsight, the poor lady had had such a terrible life with Anne and her mother. As had Dora. Fortunately, they'd had something to laugh about.

'It's incredibly funny, isn't it? Mother belittling the staff, then sitting all by herself, while they enjoy each other's company. I'm glad you told me, Simon, and I'll keep the secret as faithfully as you've kept it. Did you tell Frederick?'

'Of course not, and I'm going to try not to. It is none of my business to tell him. It's your mother's house, you have some right to know. I was so right to never drink more than one glass of spirits!'

'Well, if I come into my inheritance tomorrow I'll let them keep their drawing-room, but I want to be invited for concerts. Or should I pretend not to know?'

'I'll know tomorrow. Right now, I don't know anything, just that I love sitting here with you, just talking. Or would you rather be reading your new book with your lover?'

'I don't think Pierre will help me with what I truly want to learn, though I am curious.'

'And you've made me curious, what do you want to learn?'

'Well, this is kind of embarrassing to talk about, but you see, Pierre is a man, and he loves women. So I guess the book is filled with ways to please a woman. Which was great for Darcy and Eric, who had everything to learn. But Nick already knows all that, whilst I am the one lacking experience. What I need is a book about different ways to please a man.'

Whereas smiling made Nick handsomer, Simon was so beautiful a broad grin could not add to his looks. In fact, it made him look a little fiendish, which in a way was very becoming, too.

'My dearest Anne,' he started in a drawl. She had most likely missed something important, though she had no clue what. 'Who do you think knows more about pleasing a man, a man or a woman?'

'A man, but he's not going to write about...'

Simon hushed her with a gesture that would have been rude if they hadn't both been rather intoxicated. Still grinning, he said, 'Who is talking about writing? And can you imagine someone who'd know even more about pleasing a man than a man?'

Well, no. Maybe that was the wine speaking, but she really didn't.

'Think Anne! You're smart, you found out about Frederick and me with maybe three clues. You think and I'll have some more whisky.'

Anne did try to think, she couldn't stand not knowing, it had to be incredibly simple or Simon would not have rubbed it in. Though he did compliment her at the same time, for she had found out about them when she hadn't known a man could love... a man! That was it!

'It's a man accustomed to sharing his sheets with a man! Trying things he'd like himself, improving on things his partner did because he can imagine what it would be like. Of course one would learn much more from a partner who feels more or less the same as oneself!'

That gained her a hug and a kiss, he smelled good as well, slightly different from Frederick, and if Anne wasn't mistaken they had given Nick some of their cologne as well. After the kiss, he sat back in triumph.

'So, what would you like to know about pleasing a man? Do you want him to buckle? Do you want him to shudder, squeal or beg for more? Or do you want him to last longer, to keep him at as high a level of ardour as you can without allowing him a climax?'

Well, that was easy.

'All of it. I have time, my bottle is still half full, and you three have another one. Although, look, it's already half empty! They are drinking away at twice the speed you are, Simon, isn't that dangerous?'

Simon looked at both Frederick and Nick, then observed, 'I don't think so, Anne. They're both of a heavier build than I am, and Frederick at least drinks spirits regularly, not a lot, but he does it almost every night. I don't think Nick does, but he can handle his drink, I can see that, look how much energy he has. I rarely drink and I'm slight, so I can handle much less and I know it. Don't worry, we'll have a solid dinner and have them drink something bland with it, like tea with cream. All will be well. Now, let's start with the buckling...'