Chapter 167

Darcy was not happy to find the drawing-room empty, and he soon heard from the butler that his aunt had retreated to her own room for a nap. Should he leave her be, had the events of the day really tired her out? Or was she avoiding being all by herself in a public space, when everyone else, even Mr Collins, chose to be in some dubitable room on the second floor with that miscreant prince and her son-in-law Mr Manners? In a split second Darcy made a decision: he would disturb his aunt during her nap because he thought she would relish the chance to talk of her sister, to seek the actual resemblances between mother and daughter in her niece, and judge the accuracy of any paintings or sketches Pemberley had to offer of its former mistress.

And when he knocked he was not disappointed, Miss Bergman opened the door and let him in immediately, proving his aunt was not even asleep. It seemed aunt Catherine had taken her nephew's advice and had used the excuse of a nap to enable her to spend some time with her personal maid of low birth. They had clearly been sitting together since there was a piece of needlework on the table right in front of the now-empty second chair of the little seating area before the hearth, and aunt Catherine's eyes were no longer good enough to embroider anything worth looking at. She'd told him that herself in those exact words, about a year ago.

Now, she looked up at her nephew and said mildly, 'Darcy, it's always a pleasure to see you. I told Miss Bergman to let you catch me taking your advice, the drawing-room was deserted and I felt like some company. Now, what can I do for you, don't you have some letters to read?'

'The letters can wait, aunt Catherine, we have more pleasant business which I thought you might want to get involved in. I know you remember Mrs Annesley, Georgie's former lady, since you mentioned her as a suitable companion for yourself. Besides her being indispensable as a housekeeper, I consider her needlework good enough to grace a palace. She is currently working on a centrepiece for our formal dining room here at Pemberley, a portrait of my mother in her youth. But she has come up against several discrepancies in the paintings she used to catch the likeness, and therefore has asked to view the portraits at Pemberley, and also to ask my advice and Georgie's. Since you actually knew mother at the age of the portrait I thought you might like to help the good lady decide which of the paintings represent your sister best.'

Again, the wilful old lady was obviously affected.

'A portrait of my dear sister Anne? In your beautiful dining room? You say it is needlework, can that be done? I have to see it, and yes, I would love to be of use making the likeness as good as is possible without having a live model. But wait, your sister is a spitting image of my sister at that age, there is a live model!'

'Georgie mentioned you telling her about the resemblance before, but I don't see it.'

'You remember your mother sick and worn out by life, my dear boy, but when we were young she was as beautiful and every bit as full of bloom as your sister is. You want me to come with you straight away? I cannot wait to see Mrs Annesley again, she made such an impression on me being so obliging and at the same time almost dignified, and now you tell me she is also a gifted artist?'

'I believe she is, yes, and you may judge for yourself after seeing what she has done so far. I think she has caught the eyes perfectly. I did also invite the Prince of Wales, aunt Catherine, when I said 'fit to grace a palace' I meant it, I want Mrs Annesley to get the acclaim she deserves.'

The prospect of having to spend more time with Prince George didn't altogether please his aunt, but it was not enough to dampen her enthusiasm.

'Then you may have to find yourself another housekeeper after all. But I suppose that is not a matter you will worry about now. Please lead me to this marvel, Darcy, I cannot wait to see my dear sister take up her rightful place in the house where she was so little regarded.'

'Georgie and I loved our mother dearly, aunt Catherine, and though our father may have broken his marital vows, he did write of her with affection in his letters to the late Mrs Wickham. Excepting one or two instances when she needed my father and he wasn't there, I am not convinced mother was so very unhappy living here, I remember her as generally being rather content. You have been happy without experiencing the fever of love yourself, haven't you?'

Darcy had contradicted his aunt's opinion before, but still it surprised her that anyone so dear to her should do so. She was quite the character.

'I have never sought to be loved by a man. But your mother was different, she truly loved Richard Darcy and he betrayed that trust.'

'I suppose we'll never know the truth, but I am satisfied to think that she was happy with the life she chose, accepted her husband's need for excitement and enjoyed her own quieter life. The only time I saw mother truly unhappy was when Victoria Wickham was in town with my father just before Georgie's birth. With no-one she trusted around to keep her comfortable, she was bullied by her attendant, some local nurse father hired temporarily to replace Mrs Wickham. I didn't know what to do, I was still very young and hadn't been at home for longer than a few weeks every year for years. It is my only regret, that I didn't dare send for father then. It would have saved her weeks of misery in a time when a woman is at her most vulnerable.'

'You are still my measure for manliness, Darcy, and though I still think you made a mistake marrying as you did, I am certain your little wife will never be neglected, not even for an hour. Not even when she is in that certain state, although I cannot imagine that girl, for a girl she still is to me, ever admitting to any weakness under any circumstances. Like her father, she seems without better feelings altogether.'

'You know me better than that, aunt Catherine. I have looked for my other half for ten years and never saw even a hint of her in any woman I met. I have to admit it took me awhile to recognise her in Elizabeth, and it cost me plenty of grief before she could see anything of value in me, but it was well worth the waiting and the heartbreak. You don't know Elizabeth as I do, and therefore cannot value her as I do. But I assure you, my dear aunt, that I have not regretted my marriage even one single instance, and that I will defend my beloved from anything or anyone seeking to harm her or even trying to fetter her free spirit. I love her just as she is, and she knows every shade in my character and embraces my imperfections as much as my better traits.'

He was not ready to tell his aunt that Elizabeth was probably with child already, but he did want to address her compliment, she had always had such faith in him, even when he hadn't deserved it yet.

'And you are right, even if she were to turn out more vulnerable than I expect her to feel even while with child, I will be right beside her every step of the way. As will Mr Bennet be, for though he has little use for most people, he is very attached to his favourite daughter and I dare say, has come to appreciate me as well.'

'You have ten times his consequence, Darcy, how can you speak in such a way?'

'Mr Bennet was not exactly pleased when I asked for his daughter's hand. I will tell you the story sometimes, it is too long to do justice on our walk to the dining-room. You have an important role in it as well. But not now, now we will help Mrs Annesley achieve perfection once again.'

When Elizabeth entered the dining-room with Georgiana and Prince George, Fitzwilliam was already there with Lady Catherine. The old lady was talking to Mrs Annesley and obviously impressed with her work, showing the former lady companion much more respect than she usually did those beneath her.

Mrs Annesley, however, was not very much impressed by a mere Lady de Bourgh, she reserved her awe for her introduction to Prince George. He kept things short and formal, which probably suited Mrs Annesley much better than his familiarity would. They would have plenty to talk about once he had studied her work. Too bad she had only this one piece with her.

Soon everyone was concentrating on the centrepiece, Fitzwilliam, his aunt and Georgiana seeking resemblances between the portraits the artist was using, the work itself and Georgiana, Prince George not hesitating to join the discussion, despite not having known the subject personally. He was an expert on the subject of art, after all.

Since Elizabeth was neither a relative nor an expert on art, she busied herself studying the scene before her, until Mrs Annesley joined her at the slight distance Elizabeth was keeping. She took one good look at the group, still very pleasantly occupied, then said calmly and with a certain decisiveness Elizabeth had never heard from her, not even when she advised her master and mistress to take personal staff to Jane's wedding at Netherfield, 'I need to tell you something private about your father, Mrs Darcy, it is very important. Can you excuse me ignoring propriety this once? I know you don't like our intimacy, but this may end in tears and even bloodshed, I cannot keep it from you to prevent us both being embarrassed.'

Elizabeth was shocked, but managed to keep a straight face.

'That sounds rather urgent, Mrs Annesley, please tell me what has happened. I love my father, you know, whatever he does that I don't particularly care for. I am his daughter, I admire and respect him, I am not exactly old enough or experienced enough to judge him.'

'Your sense does you and your father great credit, Mrs Darcy. I will keep it very short since we're in company. Mr Bennet told me your aunt is here to enable you to find out whether Lieutenant Wickham is in fact Mr Darcy's brother. If that is the case, your father plans to convince your husband to not tell the lieutenant, for fear of his newly revealed half-brother trying to take advantage of the situation. Lieutenant Wickham wrote to your father about a certain scene in his and your sister's house in Newcastle, where he tried to take advantage of you and failed. If Mr Darcy cannot be convinced that Lieutenant Wickham will do his very best to destroy your marriage from the inside if he is let back in the family, Mr Bennet plans to let your husband read those paragraphs for himself. He is convinced it will save you and your husband a world of trouble.

I think I know Mr Darcy better, and I fear he will fly in a rage and challenge the lieutenant, inevitably destroying his own life and that of those he loves. No gentleman can best an officer of the Rifles in a duel, and your husband will be disgraced as well as killed or gravely injured, since duelling is strictly forbidden. I beg you to talk to your father and tell him to desist, nothing good can come of telling your husband what you so rightfully kept from him. I know I am overstepping all boundaries of propriety by telling you this, but I cannot keep my silence at the risk of seeing a family I care for being torn apart.'

With the little group still watching the portrait and Georgiana in turns, Elizabeth thought she managed to keep her shock from her face. A dry, disengaged part of her noticed Lady Catherine had never looked so genuinely pleased in her presence, it seemed the hurt had mostly gone out of the memory of her sister, and talking of her had become a true pleasure. But she had to process what she'd just heard, and she had to do it quickly.

'Wickham wrote to my father and told him what he'd done? Why? Is he an idiot? If Fitzwilliam ever finds out he will set out to murder Wickham with his bare hands and die in the trying. I love my husband more than anyone in this world, and I despise Wickham, even more since that incident. I handled it, you know, called his bluff and came out on top. It is in the past and should stay there. Why would he tell papa?'

'I suppose he needed to tell someone, Mrs Darcy, he was probably eaten up with guilt over it. Mr Bennet is the only person he could trust with such information.'

'Well, apparently not, if papa thinks it will gain anyone anything to tell Fitzwilliam. Papa has no idea how much of a temper Fitzwilliam has, since he is so indolent himself. Thank you for telling me this, Mrs Annesley. Fortunately it turned out that Lieutenant Wickham is not in fact related by blood to Fitzwilliam and Georgiana, but if he had been, Fitzwilliam would indeed have let him back into the family, and papa might have done something foolish. Do you want to tell papa all is well, or do you want me to pretend you never said anything and tell him myself?'

'With your permission, I will tell him as soon as we are done here, I suppose he will still be in the library. It is probably the quickest way to let him know all is well, it will be such a relief to him. But I also want him to know I am not afraid of interfering in his business, not if he is about to do something so dangerous. That incident was not his to tell anyone about, you decided to keep it to yourself and he should respect that.'

'You are so right, I have never kept anything from my beloved before, but this has been adequately addressed and yet would cause him such anger and such doubt if he knew, I decided to just forget about it myself. Again, thank you for your concern, Mrs Annesley. I want you to know I do not fault you for what you and my father are doing, I blame him. When I think of my mother, I cannot approve, but I know my father, it is hard to refuse him anything.'

'Please do not think he forced me into anything, Mrs Darcy. We took an instant liking to each other, and one day, when we were both feeling vulnerable, things happened that we both let get further every time we met since. He has helped me through a very difficult time, and please do not underestimate how empty your father's life has been since you and your elder sister moved out. He will never admit to being at odds with a life he has no-one to thank for but himself, but he is often very unhappy. I have been mostly released from the folly of my youth, soon forever, and though it has cost me my best years I look forward to the future. Your father has nothing to look forward to, his honour demands he bear the consequences of his own behaviour as long as he yet lives, his daughters fortunately well-settled, but his own life lacking every expectation of improvement. Please don't fault him for trying to make it a little less desolate.'

Elizabeth still couldn't really accept what her father was doing to her mother, and yet she couldn't help thinking it would do him good to have a woman in his life on a more equal basis, who'd confront him with his behaviour if that was called for. Such torn feelings, her beloved father really needed this woman in his life to be happy, but the impropriety, the breach of trust!

'You have given me a lot to think about, Mrs Annesley, and I certainly will talk to my father. But I approve of the idea of someone giving him a piece of their mind about this foolish scheme, and I would infinitely prefer it to be you, you have such a claim on his respect, I'm still his daughter, he might not listen to me at all. And yet this is my life he was going to meddle with, my beloved whose life he was risking. Thank you, and good luck. Now let us see to our company, I think they are ready for some work.'

'Mrs Annesley,' Prince George offered as soon as their attention was back to the rest of the group, though he hadn't seemed aware of their heat-to-head at all, 'this is exquisite! I've always considered needlework a pastime for ladies with nothing else to do, until I got familiar with Mrs Darcy's ways and saw how she managed to put her skills to actual use. But this, this is so much more even than Mrs Darcy's excellent work! This is true art. The expression in the eyes is just like a real eye, it's as good as this one painting and significantly better than the other.'

Poor Mrs Annesley was used to receiving compliments, but not from an actual prince who was also a connoisseur of the fine arts, and an important patron to English talents. She managed a reply but not with her usual eloquence.

'Thank you, Your Highness.'

But when she curtseyed to acknowledge his attention, some courage seemed to take hold of her and she continued much more easily.

'Your compliment is worth much since you have such a reputation as a connoisseur and lover of all the arts. I would have thought needlework below your notice.'

'Dear Mrs Annesley, nothing is beneath the notice of someone truly interested in beauty. I find it wherever I can, which means not limiting where I look for it. The smallest things can sometimes outdo the grandest for beauty. Though this is certainly not small in any way, the hours you must have put in it.'

'That is certainly true, Your Highness, I have spent many hours on this piece so far, and there are many more still to go, but I love working on it. As soon as I have solved the mystery of the diverging paintings.'

Here, Lady Catherine could no longer control herself, and she observed, 'I am absolutely certain that this painting here has the right of it, look at my niece's beautiful face, it is a perfect likeness of this exquisite work of art.'

Elizabeth looked at Georgiana, then at the painting indicated by Lady Catherine, and had to agree with the old lady. Georgiana did resemble the woman in the picture uncannily, and yet Elizabeth had never before seen the likeness. Looking at Fitzwilliam it was clear he was experiencing the same feelings, and he didn't hesitate to put his thoughts into words.

'You were so right, aunt Catherine, Georgie does look exactly like mother at a similar age. And not just the mouth and cheeks, which will please Mrs Annesley I am certain, but also the eyes. Especially the eyes.'

'In that case, Mrs Annesley, I will be at your disposal for as long as you are here. And since we have plans to spend summer in London after all, it may even be that you can take a look at my face whenever you need one.'

'You are planning to return to London for summer, Mrs Fielding? That would be such a help! I will make the preparations as soon as I have returned myself. All of you?'

'Just Mr Fielding and myself, I think. The others are enjoying life in the country way too much to spend summer in the sweltering heat of a large town.'

'Then I am certain I will be able to finish this piece as it deserves. With your permission I will spend today and tomorrow studying the other representations of the late Mrs Darcy, and make sufficient sketches to remember her likeness. But I'd love to have a real live model to perfect my work.'

'And when you have finished this beautiful piece, Mrs Annesley, would you make one like it for me? I'll pay you handsomely to bring my beloved sister back to life for me as well as for my nephew and niece. Maybe you could visit Rosings to study her favourite dress at that age, I still keep it and I'd like my piece to be wearing its likeness.'

Well, that was Mrs Annesley's pleasure of course, to perfect this work even further but with some differences to keep it interesting. She'd probably not mind a visit to Rosings to gain an insight in where her work would end up, and where its object had lived so many happy years of childhood.

'And when you have finished that work, I'd like to be the next in line to commission my own. Something really challenging you we will choose the subject of together, to be on display amongst the best of my paintings. Maybe I may visit you and see some of your finished works?'

See, Prince George loved art in all its shapes and couldn't resist such beautiful work.

'But Your Highness, I live in a very poor neighbourhood. Though I'd love to show you the works I have held onto so far.'

'If I wear pantaloons such as my valet-on-loan has shown me, and have Enrique mess up my hair in one of those weeping-willow hairstyles no-one will recognise me. Believe me, without the out-of-date clothing I look just like any other man. One who likes his dinner, of course.'

It was clear that Mrs Annesley didn't believe he would do it, but Elizabeth was rather certain he would. And frankly, she was a bit envious, she'd like to see Mrs Annesley's best works as well. Maybe she'd dare ask coming winter when they returned to town for a few weeks. But first they'd have a really nice time with the family, and enjoy their last summer as a young couple without children. Next summer, everything would be different.

For an old man like Mr Bennet, this had been quite an exciting day. Having Lizzy find out about his impropriety, fearing Mrs Annesley's reaction to this discovery, meeting the Prince of Wales and Lady Catherine de Bourgh, having to treat the latter with less respect than he usually offered ladies of her age, simply to avoid any misunderstandings. Fortunately, Mrs Annesley's reaction to being found out had been much milder than he expected, but then there was this thing with Wickham, it might ruin Lizzy's happiness and she didn't have a clue. Or did she? According to Wickham she had faced him down quite admirably, maybe she could take care of herself despite her tender age. She had certainly grown immensely.

And maybe the excitement of his day wasn't due his age, he felt younger than he had in years. He just wasn't used to things happening in his life, he'd gone through the motions of living for years and years, merely coping with his situation, not doing anything about it. Maybe it was time for him to get used to some excitement, step back into life, or rather, finally start to live, though it was late it was never too late. He was just past fifty, plenty of time left to make new acquaintances with a semblance of conversation and enjoy them. Apparently Earl Spencer was an admirable fellow, why not try to befriend him the coming weeks, and maybe spend more time with his brother-in-law Mr Gardiner in London this winter?

But first he would fulfil a duty he felt he had to Lizzy, which was to keep Mr Collins out of trouble. Somehow he felt responsible for the impression his nephew made on the Prince of Wales, though in fact Collins wasn't here as a relative at all but as Lady de Bourgh's servant. Of course a minister wasn't supposed to be anyone's servant except the Lord's, but his nephew's position was certainly very dependent, at least until Mr Bennet deigned to die and leave him Longbourn, which he wasn't planning to do anytime soon. Still, it would be a small sacrifice to ask Mr Collins about his son and heir and let him rant on about the little fellow for what was left of the afternoon. Then tonight he might entertain Darcy's aunt for an hour or so whilst his daughter spent time on Prince George, he would be a good connection for Lizzy and Darcy but it wouldn't do to let the man find out how silly their closest relatives were, from both sides. Such a fortunate coincidence that he'd decided to send Mrs Bennet and Mary to Brighton.

Filled with righteous determination, Mr Bennet made his way from the library to the drawing-room, which to his surprise was empty. On his inquiry, the ever-present butler could tell him exactly where everyone was.

'The master and mistress are in the dining-room with Mrs Annesley, the London housekeeper. Mr Fielding and his friends are at headquarters with the Prince of Wales, Lady de Bourgh has retreated to her quarters and your youngest daughter is in her own room with Mrs Fielding and the seamstress.'

'My youngest daughter? Lydia is here?'

'About an hour ago a young lady arrived who introduced herself as Mrs Wickham, and of whom Mrs Reynolds later said she was Mrs Darcy's youngest sister.'

Oh my, Lydia, just the person they needed to complete Lizzy's current mismatched company! Now he really had no chance to escape the drawing-room tonight to spend a few hours more with Mrs Annesley.

'That is indeed my youngest daughter. You say she is in her own room with the seamstress and Mrs Fielding? Have you any idea when they will be finished?'

He'd better take care she didn't follow Mrs Fielding back to the second floor! Lydia in the company of Prince George without Lizzy or Darcy to introduce her properly, the very thought made his heart grow cold, Fielding could do it but he was much too modest to even think of it. Manners had no connection to Lydia, nor did Mrs Manners. Suddenly a terrifying though struck him.

'And my nephew, Mr Collins? Do you know where he is? Maybe visiting the local minister?'

The butler smiled kindly and replied, 'Mr Eliot would love that, he is always patient with us but I'm certain he sometimes wishes to discuss his beliefs with someone as learned as himself. But no, as far as I know Mr Collins is at headquarters with Mr Fielding, he seemed part of that particular group of friends so I didn't mention him separately.'

That did it, Mr Bennet had to intercept his daughter before she got bored and decided to find the young people upstairs. For unfortunately, Mr Collins was the most likely person to take it upon himself to introduce his cousin to Prince George, but he was also the least suitable to do so. His obsequiousness provoked Lydia to even further familiarities, just to aggravate him.

Had Mr Bennet known of his daughter's arrival, he would have left the library with Mrs Annesley and taken care of his youngest daughter instead of sitting in that nook daydreaming, woolgathering more likely. An adult man, infatuated as if he was a boy, as if he was free to love. It was even easier to forget Mrs Bennet when she was at least three hundred miles away, but he was married and not at liberty.

But that was not the issue now, now he needed to save Lizzy's reputation from Lydia's disastrous familiarity. Where was she now, already on the second floor or still busy with the seamstress and safely in Mrs Fielding's company? He had no invitation to the young people's so-called headquarters, and he frankly didn't dare go there when he couldn't stop whatever foolishness Lydia would do to herself and her family anyway. He did not want to add to his favourite daughter's shame, as he had done in the past when trying to restrain Lydia in the only way that actually worked. Best try Lydia's room first.

'Can you tell me in which room Mrs Wickham is receiving the seamstress?'

The butler was pleased to give him directions, and he knocked with the resolution of despair. She had to be here!

'Is my daughter in here? Mrs Wickham?' he asked the maid who opened the door. She was wearing a Pemberley livery, and she looked familiar.

'Yes, Mr Bennet, she has been choosing new dresses but the seamstress is just finished. Do you mind waiting here while I ask your daughter whether you can come in? She is decent.'

Dear Lizzy, so kind of her to make sure Lydia would not leave without some new dresses with which to make the best possible impression on the new officers' wives.

'I will wait, my dear girl. You are not Lydia's maid, are you?'

'No, sir, I'm Mrs Darcy's personal maid, but I've come to know Mrs Wickham a little in Newcastle and she asked me to help her choose proper dresses.'

With a curtsey, the maid was gone, and returned almost instantly.

'She says you could have just come in since you are her father and you always used to. She is very pleased with her new dresses, sir, she is in an excellent humour.'

As if he'd ever barged in on any of his daughters, even before they became young women. But that was just what Lydia did, especially in an excited mood. This was a very discreet maid to let him know so subtly she didn't believe he'd ever do such a terrible thing, trust Lizzy to come up with a smart girl who wasn't overly humble.

'Thank you! I'm sorry, I feel like I should know your name but I don't remember.'

'Fanny, sir. Thank you, sir.'

The seamstress was still gathering some curious books and putting them into a sturdy bag, and it was obvious she had done well for Lydia for Mr Bennet's flighty youngest daughter ran at him and fell onto his neck, something she usually knew better than to do. As Fanny had warned him, she was very excited with the prospect of her new dresses.

'Papa, Lizzy has been so kind to me, she said I might choose four new dresses and stay here until they are all ready. And a new summer coat! You know she even thought of having them made a bit larger for when my baby really starts to grow. Fanny saw the dresses that Lizzy bought for Charlotte in London and she explained to Mrs Miller here how they could be made so they wouldn't look too large now and still fit when I'm much bigger. Fanny knows everything about fashion, papa, she got Lizzy in the society pages of the newspaper again and again.'

Until the seamstress and Fanny had left the room, Mr Bennet let his youngest rave on about her new dresses, but as soon as they were by themselves he invited her to sit down together to catch up. A lot had happened in Lydia's life that Mr Bennet had read about in Lizzy's letters but never heard from Lydia herself or through her mother, for some reason she seemed to have told only Lizzy about her loss. Of course he knew from Wickham what the young couple's future would bring, but now he wanted to know Lydia's own thoughts on her life.

Which is why he took her hand and asked her, 'How have you been, my dear Lydia?'

The flightiest of his daughters suddenly looked very serious, her pretty face reminding him much less of a very young Mrs Bennet and much more of his beloved elder two daughters.

'I didn't think you cared, papa. It was always as if only Jane and especially Lizzy mattered to you, and Kitty and I were mama's daughters.'

Poor Mary, she must often have felt as if no-one cared about her. Hopefully she enjoyed her new status as only child, and the trip to Brighton with her mother.

'I'm sorry, Lydia. I have not been the father to you that I might have been, and now you are suffering for it.'

'Papa, you couldn't help that I lost my baby! You always went to church and gave thanks before dinner and read the bible. And anyway, Mr Blaze said I didn't lose my baby because I thought going to church was boring, not even because I lived in sin with my dear Wickham. Mr Blaze said bad things happened to everyone, and Mr Collins said that if my poor baby wasn't right he would have had a miserable life, he was better off with the Lord in Heaven.'

Mr Bennet meant being married to Wickham as Lydia's misfortune, but of course Lydia loved the fellow, she had been suffering from the loss of her baby, not from being dependent on a worthless man. And Lydia had listened to Collins? Let herself be comforted by his words? What was going on?

'But I should have taken better care of you, Lydia, made sure you learned something, read books, knew some history, I should have hired a governess.'

Did Lydia actually agree with him here? She had never wanted to broaden her mind, had always hidden behind her mother's conviction they would marry well and thus be provided for.

'You know what I would have liked to have learned? How to handle money and keep accounts. It would be such a relief for Wickham if he didn't have to worry about money when he comes home after a long day of working with his men. And I'd like to be as good at sewing and fitting as Jane and Lizzy, so I could wear nice clothes that don't cost so much. They offered to teach me, papa, but I just wanted to have fun, I never thought about the future, I just thought I'd get married and my husband would take care of everything. Like you do for mama. But that isn't what a good wife and mother does, all my friends in Newcastle did important things in their household. Of course I didn't realise not everybody has a housekeeper and a cook and maids and a steward.

I only had Abbey, but we had a good time together and we taught each other a lot. And now I may never see her again, it was so hard to say goodbye to her, and Wickham will be away from home all the time in Kent and then he will be sent to France and I will have nobody. No Wickham, no friends, no Abbey, just my baby, but I don't know how to care for a baby. Abbey does, she has loads of little brothers and sisters. Wickham promised me he'd get us a nursemaid, but what if don't like her? Abbey said maids are terribly stuck up in the south, so close to London.'

'Well, I believe your sister's maid is from London, do you think she is stuck up? But I agree that you should have one person you can trust, Lydia. You know you have always made new friends easily, but when you are with child you need to have someone you can complain to, or cry to, or confess your fears to.'

'I am still so afraid, papa, that something will go wrong with this baby as well.'

'That is to be expected, my dear, but as I have told Lizzy several times, your mother never had much trouble carrying or bearing you lot, so I guess you will be just fine, all of you.'

'Lizzy is with child as well? Really? That is such a relief, then we'll have our children together and I can ask her for advice. She is so smart, and if Mr Darcy has his own baby he will take pity on me if something happens to Wickham, I won't end up in the poorhouse. I've heard that happens sometimes when a soldier dies.'

'Lydia, I did not say Lizzy is with child, I merely talked with her about her fears. And Wickham is an excellent officer and a good soldier, he has every chance of making it back to England unscathed. But you know you will always have a home with your mother and me, and if that is not possible, either Jane, Lizzy or Kitty will certainly help you. You will not end up in the poorhouse, my dear. Why are you so afraid of what is to come, you used to be so free of care?'

'I suppose I started to grow up when I lost my baby, papa. I never used to see any problems, but now I know there is danger everywhere I cannot help being afraid. I'm afraid I won't be able to take care of a baby, Wickham promised to hire that nanny to help me but what if he doesn't? Nannies cost money. And what if Wickham doesn't love me anymore when I'm getting really big? I love him so much but sometimes it is as if he doesn't really care about me, I try to get his attention but he is very distracted.'

Poor Lydia, she was so right, Wickham had taken her solely for the relief of his debts, and maybe in the hopes of wringing more from Darcy than he'd actually succeeded in. As her mother's husband, Mr Bennet understood Wickham better than he liked, but still he hoped Lydia would never find out how little the man she adored actually cared for her. Her father certainly wasn't going to spoil her last remnant of a carefree girlhood.

'I'm certain he'll love you just as much as ever, my dear. He is probably very busy, and I suppose he has his share of cares to occupy his thoughts. He is going to bear the responsibility for a lot of men, Lydia, in a very dangerous situation. And then he will have to leave you behind when you need him most. I can imagine him being distracted. Just be patient, give him some time to accept all that. But I do think you need a little help with that fear of yours. Would it help you if I were to talk to Wickham? Maybe tomorrow?'

'Oh, yes, papa! I was hoping Lizzy would talk to him, he has such respect for her. But I'm sure he will listen to you as well. If I know I will really have someone to help with the baby, someone nice, I will feel much more comfortable.'

That was the last thing Mr Bennet wanted, Lizzy meeting with Wickham in private. After what had happened he didn't want his daughter anywhere near the man, he was a superbly trained soldier, if he got it into his head to try again Lizzy didn't stand a chance. It was bad enough that he might be allowed in the family once again if he turned out to be Darcy's half-brother.

'Then I will seek out Wickham, my dear, please try to stop worrying so much. Now tell me everything that happened after you left for Newcastle, we have an hour before we need to dress for dinner, let us spend that together.'