Chapter 74

By the time Claire rode back to Drovers Run, she was crying. She had allowed herself to think about all the reasons Blake wouldn't like her. She just kept returning to the idea that she just wasn't pretty enough to make him notice her.

As she rode to the stable, she saw Aunt Jodi.

"Do you know where my mom is?" Claire asked, trying not to sob.

"I'm sorry, Honey, your mom is in town for the evening. She had to go to the bank and she said she would just eat in town while she was there. Is everything alright?" Jodi asked.

"I'm fine. It's fine," Claire said. She dismounted Parker and was working to remove her saddle.

"Kiddo, it doesn't look like you're fine. It looks like you're pretty upset about something." Jodi pushed a little to get Claire to open up.

"I'm just ugly, that's all," replied Claire.

"Claire, you are not ugly." Jodi gave her a hug. "You are a beautiful girl. What on earth gave you the idea you were ugly?"

"Then why don't boys like me?" asked Claire.

"Uh oh. Claire, honey, we have all been trying to figure that question out since the beginning of time. The opposite gender is a mystery to all of us," Jodi admitted.

"I spent the entire day with Blake and it was like I wasn't even there. If I was beautiful like you, he would have noticed me," said Claire.

"I'm sorry, Claire. You are beautiful. Teenage boys are not known for being observant. Seriously. Even when they become men. They get a little better, but they still don't notice all that much," explained Jodi.

"Uncle Matt noticed you."

"That's true, but Uncle Matt wasn't fourteen when we met, and it wasn't all easy for us. Uncle Matt wasn't the first boy I liked either. I had plenty of bad luck with blokes before Uncle Matt came along," explained Jodi.

"You did? But you're beautiful," replied Claire.

"Oh, Claire. Physical beauty is honestly one of the least important parts of my marriage, although I do think Matt is very cute." Jodi smiled as she thought about her cute husband before continuing on. "Physical beauty can certainly help with initial attraction but, if all there is in a relationship is a physical attraction between two people, then a relationship would never work." Jodi helped Claire bring her saddle into the stable. They both grabbed brushes and were working on Parker. "What do you like so much about Blake?"

"Well, I like that he has blue eyes, and I like the way he has dimples when he smiles," said Claire.

"Physical attractions. But what about Blake as a human being do you like?" asked Jodi.

"He likes baby alpacas, and Xander said he rides well and he likes doing farm work," said Claire.

"Okay, so shared interests, like, in this case, Alpacas, would be a better place to start looking for if a relationship is worth it, but lots of people like baby animals and you haven't even seen him ride a horse yet," Jodi pointed out.

"True, but he is soooo cute," gushed Claire.

"What does Blake know about you?" asked Jodi.

"I don't know. That I'm Xander's cousin? That I'm fourteen? That I like to ride horses?" answered Claire.

"Does he know how smart you are? That you get top grades in school? Does he know how funny you are? Does he know how good you are to your little cousins? Does he know you love nineties movies and comic books?" asked Jodi.

"No."

"Then how could he have any idea what a spectacular person you are?" asked Jodi.

"But he doesn't even know I'm alive to get to know better," countered Claire.

"Claire. You are a wonderful young woman. I have loved getting to see you grow into that wonderful young woman. You are beautiful inside and out. Figuring out boys and stuff is tough. There may be times when you really like or even love someone that doesn't love you back. There may also be times that someone loves you and you don't love them back," said Jodi.

"Has that happened to you?" asked Claire.

"All of it has. I broke a man's heart before," Jodi said thinking of Alberto and their wedding day, and of Riley professing his love for her. "It was awful. I've had my heart broken and embarrassed myself in front of men that I really liked." Jodi thought of Matt going away, back into witness protection the first time, without her. She thought of watching Luke being taken away to jail. She even thought of trying to surprise Nick, naked, that one time, before he was with Tess. She still cringed from that one. Especially because he became her brother-in-law after that.

"But you seem so happy now," said Claire.

"I am happy now. Matt and I are very happy now, but we both experienced serious heartbreak before we found each other. Relationships are probably the most confusing things in the world. There is no specific formula for who people are attracted to. Have you noticed that your friends at school find different movie stars attractive? Even Tess and I can't agree on which Helmsworth brother is better looking. One specific bloke not immediately fancying you doesn't mean you aren't worthy of love or that you aren't beautiful. Attraction is weird. What one person finds stunning, another doesn't even notice. Something you find endearing about a boy, someone else might find annoying," explained Jodi.

"But what if no one notices me and no one thinks I'm stunning?" asked Claire.

"That would be impossible. You've got your mom's smile, which is incredible, because her happiness is contagious You've also got your mom's goodness and compassion. You got your father's intelligence and ability to focus, and his height, too. Claire, you're a total knockout and you don't even realize it. Trust me, some day, some bloke is going to see all of that and fall hopelessly in love with you and he will feel so lucky just to be around you," said Jodi.

"Do you really think it will happen?" asked Claire hopefully.

"I do. Because you are full of love and goodness. Don't worry if Blake Chelsea doesn't realize that yet. I know someone will," Jodi said confidently.

"But how long will I have to wait? I'm fourteen and a half and I've never even kissed a boy," Claire said disappointedly.

"I can't tell you how long, but I can tell you that there will be time for that later. Don't just rush and kiss someone you don't really like. It will be so much better if you wait and kiss someone you really care about. Someone who really cares about you. Trust me. I've kissed some duds," said Jodi.

"Thanks, Aunt Jodi."

"I recommend you spend some time getting to know Blake just as a friend. If he isn't someone you'd want to be friends with, then he isn't someone you'd want to be kissing anyway. Take the pressure of kissing off the table and just see if you have fun with him when he's around. If you do have fun with him, then it might turn into something where you'd want to kiss him later. It also might not turn into that, but you'll have at least, gained a friend in the process," said Jodi.

"Wow, that makes a lot of sense, Aunt Jodi. Thanks," said Claire.

Oh my God! Meggie is almost eleven. I'm going to have to have this talk with her very soon. My babies! They're growing up so fast! thought Jodi.