Chapter 2

"Hey Spence." This woman is a force of nature, literally. I pull out a chair, sit and wait for Spencer to finish her call as she furiously types on her laptop. The ultimate multi tasker, I think to myself and smile. Lord, how she intimidated me when we were in high school. She holds a finger up, indicating to me that she will be done in a minute. I nod and point towards the counter.

"Caffeine, Thank you!" Spence is shamelessly addicted to caffeine in any form.

"I broke up with Jordan." I blurt out with all the subtlety of bulldozer. "I thought you should know." I say in a much quieter, less than enthusiastic tone. I stare at her.

Never one to back down, she stares back at me and asks "Why?"

Wow, leave it to Spencer to be able to ask so much with one tiny word. I sense that she isn't really asking me what went wrong with my relationship with Jordan. I know the brilliant mind that is Spencer Hastings. She is asking me if I broke up with Jordan because I am still in love with Caleb. She is asking me if I am going to cause problems in her relationship, her relationship with Caleb. I feel a familiar stab of pain in my chest.

"It just wasn't right. We weren't meant for each other, not for forever anyway." I shrug my shoulders as I try to play it off like any other break up. Spencer stares at me in silence. I know she is calculating the odds in her mind. What are the odds that I broke up with Jordan because I love Caleb. What are the odds that Caleb will care if I broke up with Jordan. I feel a wash of guilt rush over me.

I know I still love Caleb. I never stopped loving him. The incredible sense of loss I felt that night in NY. The night we broke up and I lost him forever. It was crippling, unlike any other pain I've ever felt. My hand instinctively goes to my chest. Spencer's eyes lock on my hand over my heart. Slowly her eyes come back up to mine.

"You know I will always love Caleb." I say holding her gaze.

"Yes, I do. And I will always love Toby, but that's not what I asked."

"What do you want me to say Spencer? When I broke up with Jordan, it was because it was what was best for me at this exact point in my life. It wasn't a master plan to come between you and Caleb." I hear the tinge of annoyance in my voice, so does she.

We sit in silence sipping our coffees. "Hanna, do you still love Caleb?" Very direct, very to the point, very Spencer.

"Yes." I watch her eyes widen ever so slightly with shock. I can be direct and to the point too. Somewhere in the last two years I found some self esteem and a little confidence. I like myself this way. "But Spencer, I am not here to win Caleb back. I'm here to be with my mom and figure out what to do next for me, for my life." I glance at the clock on my phone. It's nearly 2:45 and I have to meet Lucas at 3:00. "Speaking of what's next in my life, I have to meet Lucas in 15 minutes. I better go."

We both stand up. Spencer looks uncomfortable and unsure. This must be the new effect I have on people. She has the same look in her eyes that Caleb had last night. I roll my eyes and sigh, pulling Spencer to me to hug her, to reassure her. "Spencer, nothing has changed. I just wanted you to find out from me and not from anybody else." A movement to the left catches my eye. As I focus, I realize it's Caleb, standing by the door to the coffee shop, watching us. Our eyes lock briefly and I feel the spark. Dropping my eyes from his, I step away from Spencer and grab my bag in the same movement, I turn to leave.

As I start to step around her, she puts a hand on my arm, "Does Caleb know?" she asks, not realizing he is just 10 feet from us.

"Yes, he knows. Look, I really do have to go now so I'm not late meeting Lucas. Spencer," I say her name so that she will look at me. "I love you too." A small smile tugs at the corner of her mouth. "Bye. I'll call you later."

I'm just walking up the steps to the building that houses the empire that Lucas has built. Who would have thought all those years ago in high school, that Lucas would become one of the most successful under thirty somethings in the US. My phone vibrates and I pull it from my pocket to the read the text. It's from Lucas. "Stuck in a meeting, no way out. Can we talk over dinner instead?"

I'm actually relieved. Lucas has been pushing me to start a design business that I'm not sure I can handle. I know I'm good with design, colors and fabric, but I don't know that I am good enough to carry an entire business on my own. Lucas doesn't agree and has been relentlessly hounding me to at least talk it over and look at proposals he has had drawn up by some underling in his office. He has always been my champion. Always gone out of his way to be my friend and support. I knew he had feelings for me when we were in high school, even after I started dating Caleb. Part of me wonders if he still does.

Life would be so much easier if I were able to return those feelings. "Sure." I type. "Where?"

As I'm walking back down the steps I just ascended, his answer, "My apartment, 7. We can order in or cook, your choice."

I don't know how Lucas always knows what I need without having to even see my face.

"Cook. I'll go to the store now and pick up some steaks. Is it OK if I let myself in a little early to start getting things ready? Around 6?"

"Sure, you know where the key is. Open some wine." And that is the end of the beginning. I just don't know it yet.