AN: I'm so sorry this has taken so long! I've had a lot going on with college work at the minute, but enjoy!

Her heart stopped. She didn't have to look at the person speaking to know who it was.

"What do you want Gerry?"

He studied her as she kept her head down low. He watched the way she moved as she swiftly flicked the switch on the kettle. She was hiding something. He knew her well enough to know when she was keeping something from the team. What she was hiding he didn't know. She kept quiet until one word came out of her mouth.

"Coffee?"

She looked at him for the first time; putting on a smile. He couldn't work it out. He knew the smile wasn't real, yet she hoped he was clueless.

"Yes please,"

Her focus turned back to the kettle as she gathered two mugs and poured some coffee granules into the bottoms. She waited for the kettle to boil, repeatedly tapping her nails on the edge of the table in a continuous pattern. It felt like hours went by, when in reality, it was only a couple of minutes. She just hoped that he didn't know what was going through her head.

Gerry knew something was wrong. He could see it in her eyes. They weren't as sparkly and full of life anymore like they used to be. He knew that she knew he was watching her. He could tell in the way she moved, making sure every movement was perfect so no signs of distress could be seen through her body language.

"Are you okay Sandra?"

The sudden click of the kettle switch springing back to its original position made her jump slightly. Luckily, it meant she could get out of lying to Gerry; for now, anyway. Gerry shouldn't be asking these questions. She was his boss, she should be worrying about him. Then again, asking how someone is, is just a routine question in a conversation, much like 'did you do it' was in a suspect interview. Silently sighing she broke herself out of the trance she had put herself in. She put the kettle down more forcefully than she had planned. As a result, a small amount of boiling water splashed from the spout like a water fountain display.

"Shit,"

Her forearm stung like mad. She felt each cut get its own share of the scalding water. She took a deep breath to stop her arm from shaking in pain and to steady her heart. She quickly handed Gerry his mug so that she could take hers and sit down on the sofa. She sat down slowly and stared into her coffee. She wanted to sit in her office, where she could be alone with her thoughts. She didn't want Gerry to bring up anymore questions; she didn't know how long she could lie to him for.

"Sandra?"

She continued to stare into her coffee. The liquid was still gently rippling from the movement of being carried. It caught her stare like an optical illusion. Could she ever be as calm as a cup of coffee? She thought of herself as the water. When she was mixed with other people, she changed. She 'rippled' as people entered and left her life. Somehow, she felt like she had been stuck rippling for longer than she should have. Gerry was settled. He had 3 happy children and a lovely grandson. Brian was happy, years clean from his addiction and had the wife of his dreams. Steve was still new, she didn't really know what was happening in his life, but she knew he was happy. He had a respectable job, something he enjoyed. Even her boss was happy. He had two children, he had an excellent job with a good pay. All her colleagues were settled like her cup of coffee. Yet here she was, unstable and constantly moving between emotions, like a freshly stirred brew. Sighing, she brought herself out of her stare and took a small sip of her still hot drink.

"Sandra, are you okay?"

She felt her eyes tingle as tears formed in her eyes. What should she say to him? No, she wasn't but, but he shouldn't worry about her. She quickly blinked to chase the tears away. Taking a silent deep breath, she looked up to face him once more.

"Yeah, I'm fine,"

He knew he wasn't going to get anything out of her. Sometimes it was like trying to get blood out of a stone with her. She had a habit of keeping things from her team. Studying her gently, he reached over and placed his hand on her shoulder. She jerked at the feel of his hand on her, and bit her lip. Trying to control her breathing, she remained silent until she had calmed down. Once she had regulated her breaths once more, she pulled herself up to stand before playing her mug down onto the coffee table.

"Go home Gerry,"

He watched her place her half-drunk coffee on the table, and head towards her office. He wasn't going to get anything tonight. Sighing he placed his empty mug on the table next to hers and waited for her to return. As she collected her things from her office as quickly as she could, she could feel a lump forming in her throat.

She angrily whispered, "Pull yourself together," as she dropped her coat.

Sighing, she picked it up and left her office.

"I'll see you tomorrow Sandra,"

She ignored him and walked straight out of the main room. She hoped she could keep it together just until she was home. Home was her safe place. She could be whoever she wanted to be there. No one was going to judge her there. She was almost out of Gerry's eyesight. She could do it. She was soon in her car and driving back to her house. She was safe.

Pulling into her driveway, she turned her engine off and crossed her arms on the steering wheel. Her tears were free and rolling down her face like raindrops on a car window. She gathered herself enough to get out of her car and go into her house. Tomorrow was a new day, hopefully she could make it through the night.