I want to issue a mild warning before you read this chapter. I tried to classify this as MA but wasn't able to do so, only M. I am awful with technology and don't know if I am doing something wrong but this chapter does have descriptive intercourse in it.

Chapter 4

I walk back into the living area of my suite and purposely sit in one of the chairs situated opposite the couch that Caleb is sitting on. He's beautiful. I've missed this man more than I thought. I feel a tinge of guilt for Jordan. What was I thinking? How could I ever have thought that there would ever be anyone else for me but Caleb.

Caleb raises an eyebrow at me. "Your coffee." He holds out a steaming mug for me to take. I take a sip and feel myself relax a little. I realize that he remembered exactly how I like it. I stare over the rim of my cup at him. He's looking out the window, at the small garden just outside the french doors. "Nice suite."

"Thank you." My mind is going a thousand miles an hour in anticipation. "My mom." He looks directly at me and it feels like he is seeing into the depth of my soul, my heart. "She keeps this suite vacant for me, family or close friends. Her suite has one as well." I look away, unable to hold his gaze any longer. I take another sip of coffee.

Caleb has always done things in his own time, his own way and this will be no different. We sit in silence for what seems like hours. I set my mug on the coaster that had been placed on the table in front of my chair. I glance at him and see the small smile dancing around the corner of his lips. He knew that I wouldn't sit next to him on the couch and loves that he was right.

"Hanna," I look up, his smile is gone. "Why did you break off your engagement to Jordan?"

"He wasn't the one." Short, sweet and to the point.

"No?"

"No."

"Do you still love me?" I'm blind sided, though I shouldn't be. How can I answer that when I've told my best friend that I wasn't going to cause any problems for her and Caleb. I chew on my inner lip trying to think of an acceptable answer that won't betray my promise to Spencer.

"Of course I do Caleb. You know that." I pat myself on the back in my mind for achieving just the right tone of voice. "You will always hold a very special place in my heart. You were a very large part of my life, we grew into adults together. That will never change."

He looks a little wounded but not put off. "Hanna, I don't want you to dance around the question. I don't want you to answer like a politician. Leave that to Veronica now that she's our senator." He smiles at me. My heart slams against my rib cage. "Do you still love me? Not as your friend, not as your high school boyfriend but do you still love me? Do you still love me the way you did when we would wake up on Sunday morning and stay in bed all day? Do you still love me the way you did when we were planning our trip to Europe?"

Europe. I feel a flash of pain in my chest and my body tenses. Caleb knows I will not lie to him. There was enough lying and hiding when A was playing with my life, torturing me. When it all ended and we moved to New York, I promised him I would never lie to him again. It's a promise I've never broken and I won't break it now either. "Yes." It's barely more than an wisp of breath that passes my lips, but it's enough for Caleb.

His eyes widen as he lips part. He stands up, intending to move closer to me. I jump up and move away. "Hanna?" He is still slowly advancing on me and I am still slowly moving away. "Hanna, stand still." I stop instantly. "Hanna, you know I still love you. You know I still believe that we were meant to be together until we take our last breaths. Probably even beyond that. If it's possible, I will find a way to love you from my grave." He pauses, looking at me. "Hanna, I never have and never will stop loving you."

I've wanted to hear these words since the night we broke up. I've dreamed of my reunion with Caleb, never giving up hope for us and regretting the decision I made that night on the eve of our trip to Europe. But in all of that dreaming, Spencer was never with Caleb. In my dreams I was not hurting another person in my life that I love. And I would be hurting her. I know that she loves Caleb, wants a future with him, possibly a family. A family, a small tear rolls down my cheek. The family that I always thought that Caleb and I would have, together.

"Don't." he whispers, standing directly in front of me. "Stop thinking about it and just feel it." He slides a hand up my arm, over my shoulder and around the back of my neck. Slowly he brings us together and our lips meet in the softest of kisses. "Just feel it, Hanna." He deepens the kiss, holding nothing back.

I tense for the briefest of moments before I give in to him. I put my hands on his shoulders and mold my body to his. It's like coming home, landing in your safe place. I quietly moan into his mouth and tangle my fingers in his hair. It feels like silk. This is what I've been wanting for so long, craving for the past two years.

He softly tugs on my hair, exposing my neck and breaking our kiss in the same motion. His lips slide down over my jaw, placing little butterfly kisses down the column of my neck and across my collar bone. I feel the tip of his tongue slide back up my throat. He stops at my pulse and places a loving kiss directly over it. I know he can feel it racing.

I open my eyes and blue meets brown. "I love you, Hanna, it's only ever been you."

Something in my brain starts to surface through the haze of our love. Spencer. "Stop Caleb. We can't." I pull out of his arms and turn away. I instantly feel cold, as if I've been plunged below the waves of the antarctic ocean. My heart screams at me. "We can't do this to her." My voice quivers. What have I done?

"Hanna?" It's a plea.

"No Caleb, don't. I love you, I will always love you and there will never be anyone else for me. But we can't betray her like this. She is our friend, like a sister to me. We have been through so much together. She has protected me at times when no one else could. Spencer is the reason I escaped A alive. I could feel her strength surround me when I was abducted. Her voice in my head telling me to fight. I love you Caleb but I love her too." And with that, I break into full blown sobs that rack my entire body. It feels like New York all over again.

"Hanna. Please. Listen to me." Caleb moves closer to me again and wraps his arms around my body in the most loving embrace I've ever felt. His head is resting on the top of mine as I continue to cry into his shoulder. "After you left the Radley yesterday morning, Spencer and I stayed and had coffee. And talked. Hanna, she let me go."

My head snaps up so fast that I almost hit Caleb under his chin. Tears are still rolling down my face. My eyes search his. "Yes, Hanna, Spencer let me go. She said that she loved me and that she loved you too. She said that it was because of the depth of her love for both of us, that she couldn't be selfish and keep us apart."

"Why?" I don't dare to hope. I barely dare to breath for fear this isn't real.

"Because Hanna, everyone knows, including Spencer, that you and I are soul mates. That the universe put us on this planet to be together, to love each other. Please Hanna, don't turn away from me." He places his fingertips under my chin, lifting it up so we are looking at one another. I feel the heat on my skin where he is touching me and can barely focus on his words. "Do you remember when you told Aria's mom that you believed two people who love each other may take a break and then find their way back to their first love? You were right Hanna and we are finding our way back to each other. You are the only woman that I have ever loved. I never told Spence that I loved her, even though I could tell it hurt her when she would say it to me and I would not reciprocate. I thought that I had to move on with my life, get over you, but my heart just wasn't ready to let you go"

I throw my arms around Caleb, crushing my mouth to his. It's violent and romantic at the same time. I grind against him and I feel his body tremble in response. Caleb pauses long enough to pull my t shirt over my head and throw it on the floor, his shirt landing on a chair. We press against each other with no barrier between us. Skin to skin, I inhale him deeply.

My hands quickly move to his belt, making quick work of getting his jeans off. "The room." He bends down and picks me up in his arms, kissing me as he walks to the bedroom. He lays me down on the bed that I just barely left forty minutes ago. Slowly he unbuttons my shorts, pulling them down over my legs. "God, you are so beautiful." I blush.

He starts to trail his fingertips up my calves, taking his time, just look at me as I lay on the bed in my bra and panties, my breathing heavy. I want him. Now! It's been too long and I need him. Swiftly I sit up, grabbing Caleb around the waist, pulling him down onto the bed. Quickly, I roll over on top of him and lock my lips to his. There is no hesitation as he opens his mouth, inviting my tongue inside. I shake. My hands run over his chest and stomach as I straddle him. His hands are instantly on me, palming my breasts through the lace of my bra. Pulling me down, he sucks my nipple into his mouth through the delicate lace. I explode and throw my head back giving him complete access to my breasts.

Caleb groans and quickly unhooks my bra and pulls my rock hard nipple back into his mouth. I groan loudly and grind my hips against him. "Caleb." I hiss through my teeth "I need you."

He rolls me over and pulls my panties off without any flare of any kind. This is raw need, pure emotion. He removes his boxers and lays between my parted legs. I lift my hips, begging him to enter me. He reaches down and slowly pushes a finger deep inside me. My eyes close and my head rolls back. He is all I can feel. "God, Hanna, you're so wet, so ready" Moving his finger in and out of me, while his thumb circles my clit.

I feel my body straining for something that is just out of reach. My hips lift and push back against his hand. I hear him suck in his breath. Lightly I drag my nails down his back, knowing full well that this will push him over the edge. "Fuck!" He hisses. His hand slides down my thigh, behind my knee, lifting my leg off the bed. He positions himself at the entrance to my body. "Open your eyes, Hanna. Look at me." The moment I open my eyes and look into his, he slams into me. I groan loudly and thrust up to meet him. He doesn't move, staying perfectly still to savor the intense pleasure that rockets through our bodies. Instinctively, I clench my inner muscles around him tightly. He holds his breath, his eyes are closed.

When he opens his eyes to find mine, he slowly pulls his back and staring into my eyes, begins to softly rock against me. I stare at him, unwilling to break eye contact, our connection. Leaning down over me, he gently nips my bottom lip. I sigh and he takes advantage of the moment, kissing me deeply, passionately. There is no thought, only a sweet sensation that radiates through my entire body, while concentrating at my core. The pleasure is euphoric as we begin to move faster. I can hear my self moan and feel myself catch my breath.

My body strains harder, my leg muscles begin to stiffen. I stare into Caleb's eyes and can see his love for me. I can see it in his eyes that this is real love, not a fantasy. We will make mistakes and we will fight but we will always love each other. We will never spend another night apart. It's my undoing. My body shatters into a billion tiny particles, shooting in every direction. I whisper his name softly in his ear, pouring every once of love I have for him into it. He stiffens and strains, as he shakes silently in ecstasy. Dropping onto me, covering my body with his, we both start to slowly return to our bodies. Still whispering in his ear, I say "I love you."

He rolls to the side and takes me with him, positioning my head in the crook of his arm. He wraps his arms around me, closes his eyes and whispers, "I love you, too."