Chris hit the red button and ignored his call as she pushed in her earbuds, grabbed her key, and headed for the door. Running along the path by the river, she sang to her music in her head and breathed in deeply.
Wow, this felt amazing. Letting go, taking back control and looking ahead. She really enjoyed the cool night air and the thumping of her heart. It made her feel alive.
Soon she was heading back down her street, but as she turned into the drive and saw his bike sitting there, her pounding heart almost stopped.
"Shit!" She muttered taking out her earbuds. "What the hell is he doing here?" She walked slowly, still puffing a little, up the drive and could make out his voice and Tomas's in the backyard. She paused. Subconsciously straightening her hair and giving herself a pep talk before she turned the corner and became visible.
"Oh hey, here she is." Tomas said standing up off the table to walk to her. Chris forced a smile at him and eyed Street with a slight coldness.
"Hey," he spoke first standing up, and nervously rubbing his hands on his pants.
"Hey," she answered quietly, looking between them for a second.
"I'll um see you round, it was nice to see you again Street." Tomas said patting Street's back and heading inside.
Chris fidgeted with her earbuds and phone and slowly looked up at him.
"Why? Why are you here?" She asked with a slight rasp in her voice.
Street smiled slightly in the corner of his mouth and then began to speak.
"Well, when you constantly ignore my attempts to talk to you, I have to take more drastic measures." He said with a hint of sarcasm. Chris rolled her eyes and shook her head.
"Or maybe you could take a hint," she muttered in a low voice looking down.
"Oh wow!" He exclaimed. "Really? Chris? Come on!"
She sighed. "I'm sorry that was bitchy."
He smirked a bit, holding a hand on his heart as if he was hurt. "Yeah, it was." He added as she shook her head, motioning for him to join her, inside the granny flat.
"That reaction, right there," he began pointing to her, "is how I know you are not okay. I see those walls you throw up to the world. So, time to take them down and talk to me." He watched her put her stuff on the bench and saw her inhale hard before turning back to face him.
When she finally met his gaze, he could see the pain inside her. She stood arms folded and motionless. She dropped her gaze from his and chewed her lip.
"Chris, please, come on," he began slowly taking a step or two towards her. "Talk to me, let me be your friend again."
"Does Molly know you are here?" It came out so fast that Chris was just as surprised as he was.
He looked at her questioningly for a second and went to speak when she interrupted.
"Look, it doesn't matter. I'm sorry. That's none of my business. I'm just," she wandered and sat on the sofa, looking at the floor. "I am just in a shitty place and it's my doing, I know, but I just haven't worked out how to move forward yet."
Street sighed and continued to move to her.
"Chris, I see that. Yes, I may sometimes be a clueless idiot, but I see enough now to know you need someone." He paused eyeing her. She remained where she was. Eyes down on the floor and arms crossed defensively. "I wanna be that someone..." Chris felt a sharp pain hearing those words. Her gaze shot up involuntarily to his eyes. "… who helps you." She exhaled and shook her head again dropping her gaze,
"Jim, you, you don't have to be here. Don't have to put your life on hold for me. I will be okay. I know what I need, and I am trying to do it."
He stopped moving and lent on the arm of the sofa adjacent to her.
"Explain that to me." He said. "It's just, well it's just that it doesn't seem to be changing."
"What does that mean?" She asked with defensive tones in her voice. "What I am just a cranky bitch 24/7? huh?"
He sighed again and moved a bit closer. "Chris, no, this isn't an attack, or a challenge. Just, it's me just being concerned." He moved to be right in front of her. "Hell, I am scared that you are not okay, and I dunno what that means, I dunno how to help exactly, I just know I need to..." He placed both his hands on her shoulders and watched her.
She breathed deeply a few times and shrugged him off. "I am okay!" She said defiantly. "I just, I just," She paused as her bottom teeth traced her top lip. "I just feel like I am failing. In so many aspects of life, which is why I was so wound up in achieving that selection. I guess it was validation that my life isn't one big pile of shit right now...okay. you ... you..." She paused and he saw her shudder, "you happy?"
He had his arms around her in an instant, even though he knew he probably shouldn't. "Chris, hey, hey, breathe." He said brushing her hair from her face.
Chris pushed back, dropping her head down away from him.
"Don't!" She raised her hands, turning slightly from him. He instantly felt the shift in her. He felt that exact moment when he hugged her that her brain told her she shouldn't be this close to him. Her whole body had gone tense, frozen as she went quiet.
"Chris, please I am just trying to be..." he tried.
"Trying to be what?" She hissed with venom in her voice.
He paused watching her, trying to work out where that aggression was coming from.
"I was trying to say," he said with a calmer tone, "that I am just trying to be here for you, to be the friend you need."
She walked away, standing to look out the window above the sink. Her back to him as he observed her.
"Talk to me, I am trying here."
"Maybe you shouldn't be." She fired back.
"Okay stop! Stop pushing me away." He said with conviction stepping closer.
"Why?" She muttered angrily not looking at him.
"Why? Really? Come on Chris. You know why? I have just said repeatedly that I am trying to help, I want you to be okay. I am worried about you. Why else would I be here?"
"Well, maybe you shouldn't be. I am not your concern Jim." She said with conviction.
He looked at her. Slightly confused as he asked,
"Because of Molly?"
Chris turned slowly and eyed him. "You can't tell me she has encouraged you to come here tonight." She folded her arms protectively on her chest.
Street sighed. "No, no maybe she didn't, but she knows you are important to me and she would want me to help you when you need someone."
Chris rolled her eyes and shook her head, "So she doesn't know your here then?"
"Chris, okay, look, no she doesn't know I am here, but ..."
Chris held up a finger interrupting him,
"Ask yourself this Jim, why didn't you tell her where you were going?"
Jim looked down and frowned a bit. He slowly glanced back up as she added.
"And there's the problem. You should go home to her."
"Chris," he rested his hands in his pockets and shuffled his feet slightly. "Can I ask you something?"
She didn't answer. Just eyed him.
"This has been playing on my mind a bit and I just wanna know an honest answer."
Chris still didn't say anything or move as she watched him.
"If things were different?" He paused and hesitated. "I mean, was that night, that kiss a mutual thing? If things were different, could we have ever?"
She turned away from him and placed both her hands on the sink. He saw her. He knew she was shielding her emotions from him.
He stepped closer.
"I just gotta know Chris, I hate wondering."
"What does it matter now? Why are you doing this?" He heard the shake in her voice.
"Chris, I meant what I said that day in the kitchen. I would have given anything to hear you say that those feelings were mutual. For you to not squish my heart like you did. I care about you, and I always will."
Her head dropped between her arms.
"That's not fair." She breathed in and shuddered. "On me or your girlfriend."
He sighed and glanced about knowing that she was right.
"I am sorry Chris." He said quietly. "I am just, I want you to be okay. If I am the reason you are not okay right now, and I am just upsetting you instead of helping I will go."
Chris shook her head and felt her anger rising. How dare he make himself out to be the victim here. He opened this issue, that had her feeling like this right now. She was not going to stand here and beg for him to leave Molly, telling him she loves him. What the hell did he think she would do?
"Fine, Go then!" She hissed not looking at him.
As she felt a few stray tears escape her eyes she tried to stop herself from shaking. As she stood there trying to get control of herself the sound of the door sliding closed, caused her to whimper harder. He had left. He had walked in, bought her to tears and again just left when it got hard. Part of her was angry, but part of her was relieved he was gone.
She remained frozen where she was until she heard his bike start. That bought more tears and she sank down onto the floor seeing his headlight disappear as he rode away. What the hell happens now? She asked herself. She hated that he had seen her like this. She was embarrassed to have to face him tomorrow. So, she pulled out her phone and sent a text.
"Hey Hondo, I need a day or two for some personal issues."
Riding back to Molly's place in the cool night air, Street could not stop his mind from going wild. He never expected any of that to happen tonight. He had expected to go see her, have a beer, talk some stuff out like they used to, laugh and then everything would be fine. But now, the way he had just left, her crying and angry... the fact that she kept pointing out Molly was his concern not her, hurt. It really hurt.
When he arrived back at Molly's, Molly was waiting on the sofa. She eyed him as he came in and watched him putting his things by the door.
"You okay? Where have you been?" She asked tracing her fingers over the glass in her hand.
"I um," he thought about lying. Saying he went to Luca's, but he knew deep down that he needed to be honest. If Molly found out later that he went to see Chris and lied... well, it wouldn't end well. "I ah, went to see Chris. She had a bad day today and I know she isn't in a great place." He finished glancing up at her and seeing a slightly annoyed expression on Molly's face.
"Oh, well, your dinner is in the fridge and I am going to shower." She said standing up and walking to the door.
"Molly?" He said with a sigh. "Are you mad at me? For going to see her tonight. I was just trying to help a friend."
As he said that last part his voice trembled a little. Molly heard it and turned around looking at him. She locked eyes with him for a second before he looked away and dropped his head.
"What happened tonight, Jim?" Molly asked quietly walking a few steps back into the room, arms folded. Not 100% sure she wanted to know the answer.
"Nothing, I mean, I made her angry and guess I did more damage than good." He looked defeated and broken.
Molly frowned a little and sat back on the sofa. "Okay talk to me please Jim. What exactly happened? And why is she angry with you?"
Street, shook his head." It doesn't matter now. She, I doubt she will be speaking to me anytime soon."
"Is this all because of the training thing you were talking with dad about? That one she wanted to do?"
"Partly." He answered.
"What does 'partly' mean?" Molly asked tilting her head and folding her arms.
Street saw her defences were up and knew he had upset her.
"Look, please, Molly. I was worried about my friend. That's it."
Molly chewed at her lip and nodded. "Okay then," she turned to head back towards the shower. Clearly pissed off with him.
"Molly? Stop!" He said closing the distance and reaching for her arm.
"Why? So you can explain you ditching me tonight to be with your 'friend' who you made out with not that long ago? and oh wait..." she said holding up her finger, "I am not meant to be upset that you didn't tell me where you were going or why?" She glared at him.