When Gerry and Sandra finally made it back to the office, it was surprisingly empty. This wasn't what she had wanted to come back to. She wanted to arrive back at the office and be greeted by Steve and Brian loudly voicing their findings and asking about how they had got on. Instead, they were greeted by an uncomfortable silence; the only noise came from the buzzing of computers and whirring of the air conditioning. The emptiness brought back memories and flashbacks of the last time her and Gerry were alone in the office.

All she could think about was whether Gerry had noticed anything that day. She thought she had been doing a good job at keeping her personal life out of the office. That was until that fateful evening where she had royally messed up. She was still in shock at how careless she had been answering the door. Every day since then, she had thought about it, and how utterly stupid she had been. She couldn't remember much about that night. All she could recall was that Gerry had seen the side of her she didn't want anyone to see, and that he had stayed the night. The events of the evening were a blur to her. Not that she could particularly remember any evening usually, but this scared her. She was no longer in control of it. She didn't know how much she had told Gerry in her vulnerable and weakened state. She didn't know how much he had seen. She wasn't entirely sure how he had reacted to the situation although she could hazard a guess. Of course it would affect their friendship, and not in a good way.

Gerry knocked on her open office door. He opened his mouth, unable to form any words. He didn't know what to say to her. If he was being honest, he didn't know why he had knocked in the first place. He looked up from the carpet to see that his knocking hadn't fazed Sandra in the slightest. He sighed, knowing she had zoned out again. Luckily, they were still the only two in the office. He couldn't walk out and leave her like this; he needed to say something.

"Sandra?"

He had to call her name three times until she noticed him leaning against the wooden door frame to her office. She shook her head, trying to shake her thoughts away.

Gerry shut the door behind him and proceeded to place the mug of freshly brewed coffee on the desk in front of Sandra.

"Are you okay?"

Sandra looked up at him with tears in her eyes. A million thoughts and responses flashed through her mind. She didn't know how to answer him.

'How am I meant to say to you the true extent of what I'm feeling. I can't even admit it to myself, let alone you. How on earth am I meant to tell you how hard it is to fight your own mind every minute of every day. How do I explain how after years and years of hating my dad for leaving us the way he did, I'm now feeling the exact same way. How I no longer hate him for it, as I finally understand how he was feeling.'

She laid her head in her hands and sighed. She reached out to grab the handle of the mug he had brought in for her. She opened her mouth, preparing herself for what she was going to say to him when he interrupted her.

"Sandra..why can't you admit it to yourself?"

Her head shot up to look at him with bloodshot eyes. She wiped the tears hastily from her cheeks and sighed.

"How?"

He moved to sit in the chair on the other side of her desk, not breaking eye contact. Tears continued to roll down her cheeks, leaving wet trails down to her chin.

"You said it all out loud. Listen to me, I want you to be completely honest with me, okay?"

She nodded, admitting that she had almost lost the battle by letting Gerry get into her mind. He sighed, knowing that he didn't want to hear the answers, as hearing it from her would mean it was true. But he knew, he needed to hear her say it, he didn't want to make any decisions on what to do without knowing he was right about what he thought was going on. He took a deep breath knowing he had to dive in at the deep end, no matter how uncomfortable it made either of them.

"Do you want to harm or kill yourself?"

She was shocked at how he had gone straight in with the intense question, yet surprised herself as she began nodding uncontrollably. Gerry didn't know what to do. He wanted to comfort her, try and make her realise that he wasn't going to leave her. He sighed, pondering the situation. He had to keep reminding himself that they were at work; he had to be professional. He tentatively reached over and placed his hand on top of Sandra's. To his surprise, she didn't shy away from his touch. Using her other hand, she wiped the tears from her cheeks. She was getting nervous now seeing as he hadn't responded. If it wasn't for the hand now resting on top of hers, she'd have thought he hated her.

"Sandra,"

He was cut off by the voices of Jack and Brian entering the main entrance to the office. He sighed in frustration. She had finally begun to open her mind up to him. God knows when he'll next get a chance to talk seriously with her. He pulled himself up to his feet and let go of her hand.

"We'll get you some help Sandra, together. I promise."

With that, he left her office to join his colleagues on the sofas; shutting the door again behind him. Sandra pulled her compact mirror out of her handbag and made sure they wouldn't know she had been crying. Dabbing her eyes with a tissue she had found on her desk, she stood up and took a deep breath. Once she had regained composure, she left her office to join her colleagues. She smiled as she heard Gerry relaying all the information they had received from Sarah Matthews. A small part of her hoped that she and Gerry could talk later on that evening; it terrified her knowing that she was no longer in control of the situation. She took a sip of the coffee that remained in her mug and sat down on the sofa next to Gerry trying to get her mind to focus on her work instead of the current situation. Luckily Steve began asking her opinion on people to interview and possible lines of enquiry, allowing herself to throw herself into work - her surefire way of keeping the thoughts at bay.